Verschlimmbesserung

Doctor Who Magazine issue five hundred and ninety eight (available from all good newsagents. And some really bad ones, too) includes an exclusive interview with all three directors of the forthcoming sixtieth anniversary episodes Rachel Talalay, Tom Kingsley and Chanya Button. In this revealing feature, they discuss the new TARDIS set.

As filming on Doctor Who series fourteen continues, a host of new cast members have been announced to be joining the BBC's popular long-running family SF drama in yet to be disclosed roles. It was confirmed in this month's Doctor Who Magazine that Bhav Joshi, Eilidh Loan, Pete MacHale, Miles Yekinni and Hemi Yeroham have all been cast in the new series, joining Ncuti Gatwa and Millie Gibson.

Good Omens has reportedly cast David Tennant's son, Ty Tennant and David Tennant's father-in-law, Peter Davison. In what looks set to be the greatest family affair since Sly Stone had one, Ty (who also appeared in House Of The Dragon) will reportedly play a character called Ennon, according to the Radio Times (which used to be run by adults). Peter - who played The Doctor in Doctor Who and is the father of David's wife Georgia (you knew all that, right?) - will take the role of Alistair. The Neil Gaiman adaptation began in 2019 and follows David Tennant's demon Crowley and Michael Sheen's angel Aziraphale and their odd couple stylings as they attempt to, you know, prevent The Apocalypse. The second series has been a long time coming, with the next batch of episodes expected to finally premiere this summer. Also joining the production for series two will be Siân Phillips, Tim Downie, Andi Osho and Alex Norton. It will also include the return of Paul Adeyefa, Michael McKean, Gloria Obianyo, Miranda Richardson, Maggie Service, Reece Shearsmith and Nina Sosanya. Some glake of no importance at the Digital Spy website claims that 'Digital Spy has reached out to Amazon for comment.' For which read 'we've sent them an e-mail and they haven't replied yet.' 'Reached out'? Jesus, has everyone taken The Stupid Pill this week, or what? 

And, speaking of Neil Gaiman, From The North favourite The Sandman is reportedly set to begin filming again in June and with the return of the popular fantasy drama comes the opportunity to expand the cast of characters. The first series, focused on Dream of the Endless (Tom Sturridge), one of several siblings who are responsible for different aspects of the human condition. Viewers spent a lot of time with Death (Kirby Howell-Baptiste) and Desire (Mason Alexander Park), as well as briefly meeting Desire's twin, Despair (Donna Preston). However there are, of course, three other siblings we have not met yet: Delirium, Destiny and Destruction. We should expect to see at least two of these in the forthcoming Season Of Mists story arc. Then there's Wanda, a favorite character amongst many fans of Neil Gaiman's work who should also be making her on-screen debut in the next batch of episodes. The What's On Netflix website (bugger all at the rate they're currently cancelling shows) reports that these four are 'on the way,' but also warns of divergences from the comic's storyline. In particular, it suggests there is 'new stuff' in the pipeline for Wanda, who in the comics was a transgender woman and the best friend of Barbie (Lily Travers). As for Delirium, Destiny and Destruction, the former is the youngest of the Endless (formerly Delight) and has a childish and chaotic personality; Destruction abandoned his realm and duties many centuries ago, preferring to live as a recluse (he is referred to on a couple of occasions in the first series as 'The Prodigal') and Destiny is the oldest, all-knowing and all-understanding, yet cannot inform his siblings of any of his knowledge (except when he has to) as it could risk changing the future. With Netflix not calling the new episodes a 'second season', per se, the shooting dates appear to reflect this being conducted over two batches. Preliminary filming is to take place from June to October 2023. Shooting will then resume from January 2024 to April. Which some plank at the Startefacts website had a right good whinge about because, seemingly, it wasn't being done fast enough for their liking. Yes, dear blog reader, some people really are scum.

From The North favourite Nicola Walker and Tony Curran are joining the cast of historical psychological drama Mary & George, which also boasts Julianne Moore in one of the title roles. The series tells the story of mother-and-son duo Mary and George Villiers, to be played by Moore and Nicolas Galitzine, who lived during the reign of King James I in the early 1600s. The seven-part series headed to Sky Atlantic will explore how Mary prepared her charismatic son to seduce the King, with the pair gaining an enormous amount of power, influence and wealth as a result. Curran (best known for playing Vincent in Doctor Who) has been cast in the pivotal role of King James. Meanwhile, Nicola will play Lady Hatton, lady-in-waiting to the King's wife, Anne of Denmark, who was herself married to Sir Edward Coke (played by Adrian Rawlins). The cast also includes Simon Russell Beale, Niamh Algar, Sean Gilder and Mark O’Halloran as Sir Francis Bacon.

In last week's episode of Picard, dear blog reader, did anyone else just love the 'attack' Tribble the mostest, baby? Just this blogger, then?

On a somewhat-related theme, dear blog reader, a simple publicity image published this week, gave Trekkers, Trekkies and 'normal people' across the planet great joy. Twice over.

As you may be aware, dear blog reader, via Keith Telly Topping's essays on British post-war B-movies, The Corpse, The Yellow Teddy Bears, Saturday Night Out and The Black Torment, The Pleasure Girls, Hell Is A City, Cup Fever, Face Of A Stranger and Yield To The Night, Hell Drivers, The Day The Earth Caught Fire and Game For Three Losers, Hammer Films, Blood Of The Vampire and Good-Time Girl, Beat Girl, The Earth Dies Screaming, Radio-Cab Murder, Seven Days Till Noon, Murder In Reverse, The Gelignite Gang, Dead Man's Chest, Danger By My Side, Night Of The Prowler, Impact, Smokescreen, Girl In The Headlines and The Narrowing Circle, From The North has seemed more like a film blog which, sometimes, discusses TV. Rather than the other way around which is, in theory, this blog's raison d'être. C'est la vie, chers lecteurs du blog. And, there still seems no reason to stop such movie-related malarkey any time soon.

This blogger is grateful to his old fiend, Young Malcolm, for sharing some research that he has been doing on ITV's Appointment With Fear strand. This was a generic title used for late night collections of (mostly, though not exclusively) horror movies shown on various of the ITV regional networks from the beginning of the 1970's. Alternative titles were used by some regions, including Movie Macabre (Ulster TV), The Horror Film (LWT and Channel), Don't Watch Alone (Scottish TV), A Date With The Devil (ATV in 1979), Invitation To Terror (Central TV in 1982) and The ATV Horror Picture House. Yorkshire TV was the first region to use the Appointment With Fear title in 1972. ATV, Granada, Thames and Tyne-Tees soon followed suit. Thames also used the title The X Film, allowing them to show more than just the outputs of Hammer, Amicus, Tigon and co. The first series of Thames' Appointment With Fear began in January 1975 with a showing of Bernard Girard's decidedly odd The Mad Room (1969). Other movies shown in subsequent weeks included The Evil Of Frankenstein (1964), Polanski's Dance Of The Vampires (1967), The Curse Of The Fly (1965), Claude Chabrol's The Champagne Murders (1967) and, among the non-horror movies, what appears to have been the first UK TV showing of a From The North favourite, Gerry O'Hara's The Pleasure Girls (1965).

Tyne-Tees's strand using the same title began later in 1975 including many of the same movies that Thames has shown earlier in the year; the first one that this blogger can specifically remember - as he mentioned in the introduction of his book on British horror movies, A Vault Of Horror (still available from all good book-selling-type places) - was Dracula Has Risen From The Grave probably around late November or early December 1975. Appointment With Fear continued on Tyne-Tees, intermittently, for the following decade into the late 1980s. On some of the later series they used a clip of that scary pussy from The Legend Of Hell House as their generic strand opening titles. Just in case viewers hadn't worked out from the title of the movie and the fact it was being shown post News At Ten that those of a nervous disposition might want to give this particular one a miss.

Last Friday began as one of the greatest days in this blogger's long and somewhat sad life. Even before breakfast, this blogger was shocked - and stunned - to discover that, for only the second time, yer actual Keith Telly Topping got an e-mail read out on his favourite podcast - Kermode & Mayo's Take. LTL, occasional emergency e-mailer, fully paid-up (and well-saluted) Vanguardista, level two cycling proficiency badge circa 1973, one History A level, tinkerty-tonk, up with the blue-haired feminists, down with The Nazis, love the show Steve and hello to Jason Isaacs. And all that. The purpose of this e-mail was to clear up a somewhat shaky memory that the broadcasting legend Simon Mayo (MBE) had from childhood. And, to point out the - necessary - differences between Shazam! (popular DC movie franchise based on the comics featuring the character of Captain Marvel ... except we're not supposed to call him that these days - there's a rights issue), Shazzan! (Hanna-Barbera TV cartoon circa 1967-68 featuring a magical flying camel called Kaboobie) and the Telly Topping family cat (also called Kaboobie) Not only did it get read out but Simon and Mark thanked this blogger (seemingly sincerely) for putting them straight on the matter. Unlike the only previous time Keith Telly Topping had an e-mailed read out on The Take when ice visibly formed on the upper slopes of Mark Kermode! Gosh, this blogger feels as though his life has been validated and now, he can die ... if not 'happy' then at least vaguely content. Though, he'd prefer not to for a bit just yet if that's at all possible. You can check out this major milestone in podcasting history here (around ten minutes into this You Tube clip) if you're at all interested.

Allow this blogger to quote at length from his e-mail to the podcast: '[Shazzan] was shown in the UK on BBC1 around 1970 but, it only ran one series and was never repeated. Thus it is now more-or-less forgotten unlike other HB cartoons from the same era like Top Cat, Wacky Races and Scooby Doo, Where Are You? all of which went into virtually permanent syndication. The only reason this blogger remembers [Shazzan] is that it had a magic flying camel in it called Kaboobie (I'm not making this up). This blogger's brother (who was, at the time in his twenties, not six) decided to call our family cat Kaboobie. The - much loved - moggie lived for the next sixteen years and every time someone visiting us asked what the cat was called, the answer involved a really long-winded explanation about a cartoon series which they didn't remember.'

Let this be a lesson to all of humanity that naming a pet after a current pop-culture favourite can be fun but, you've always got to take into consideration that some animals live for a quite a long time - unlike memories of some films, TV series, bands et cetera. For example, if you were lucky enough to get a puppy for Christmas in 1963 and you called it Ringo, fair enough. But if, on the other hand, you called it Les (after the bassist in Gerry & The Pacemakers') then, chances are, the dog lived long after 'Ferry Cross The Mersey' had left the charts.

The only other reason this blogger remembered Shazzan was that this blogger rather fancied Chuck's sister, Nancy, in a somewhat precocious pre-pubescent stirring of his maleness. Well-fit, that young woman.

This blogger is also grateful to his most excellent fiend Jan for pointing out that the late, great Don Messick (the voice of Bam Bam Rubble, Boo Boo Bear, Doctor Quest in Johnny Quest, Beau in Top Cat, Muttley, Professor Pat Pending, Scooby Doo, Spot The Dog in Hong Kong Phooey, Snorky in The Banana Splits and Hercules in Help! ... It's the Hair Bear Bunch!) also 'voiced' Kaboobie. He was, additionally, the voice of Scrappy Doo. But, you know, everyone is allowed the odd mistake in life. Except Sting, obviously.

And now, dear blog reader, we return you to our scheduled programme. Magnificently Daft Lines From Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1997-2003). Number Three: Faith, Hope & Trick.

Magnificently Daft Lines From Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1997-2003). Number Four: The Freshman.

Magnificently Daft Lines From Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1997-2003). Number Five: Real Me.

Magnificently Daft Lines From Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1997-2003). Number Six: Doublemeat Palace.

Magnificently Daft Lines From Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1997-2003). Number Seven: Bring On The Night (the title drawn from a song by a balding ex-milkman from Waalsend, notwithstanding).

Remember kids, just say no ... to Sting. You know it makes sense.

Magnificently Daft Lines From Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1997-2003). Number Eight: Witch.

Magnificently Daft Lines From Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1997-2003). Number Nine: Ted.

Magnificently Daft Lines From Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1997-2003). Number Ten: The Zeppo.

Magnificently Daft Lines From Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1997-2003). Number Eleven: A New Man.

Magnificently Daft Lines From Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1997-2003). Number Twelve: I Was Made To Love You.

Magnificently Daft Lines From Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1997-2003). Number Thirteen: Him.

Magnificently Daft Lines From Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1997-2003). Number Fourteen: Smashed.

Shaun the Sheep has returned to Britain after taking part in the US space agency's epic mission to the Moon last year. A model of the animated movie character was a passenger in the capsule that was blasted into orbit by the world's most powerful operational rocket. Shaun covered almost one-and-a-half million miles on his lunar adventure before splashing down in the Pacific Ocean. It was, indeed, one giant leap for lamb-kind. The sixteen centimetre-tall stop-motion model was strapped in for the ride. He got his astronaut wings by being the mascot on the mission for the European Space Agency. ESA had provided the propulsion module that pushed the NASA capsule along on its twenty five-day journey. Wednesday saw Doctor David Parker, the agency's director of exploration, visit Aardman studios in Bristol, where all of Shaun's TV programmes and films are produced. 'It is always a special pleasure to greet European astronauts when they return from space and today I am delighted to welcome Shaun the Sheep, alive and wool after a well-deserved rest on the farm,' he said. 'As the first sheep to fly to the Moon and back, he's got a lot to teach us about the ambition, talent and diversity needed for Europe's exploration of space.'

Mercury, Jupiter, Venus, Uranus, Mars and the Moon aligned in an arc across the evening sky on Monday, with some visible to the naked eye. This is often called 'a planetary parade' and was visible after sunset in the West. A good view of the horizon and clear skies offered the best chance of spotting the alignment. Last summer Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn came together in a rare planetary conjunction. The best shot at spotting the planets on Monday was away from any bright city lights, somewhere with a clear, unobstructed view. Although, this blogger managed to spot Venus, Mars and Jupiter from the kitchen window of The Stately Telly Topping Manor Plague House shortly after unset with no difficulty. Some of the best views were from Northern parts of Scotland and its islands because of their clear skies. Professor Catherine Heymans, the Astronomer Royal for Scotland, watched the spectacle from Edinburgh's Portobello beach. 'Planet spotting on a crystal clear night along with so many other planetary parade enthusiasts was an absolute delight!' she told the BBC.

The Abbey Road pedestrian crossing is, arguably, the most famous pedestrian crossing in the world thanks to its appearance on the cover of The Be-Atles final recorded LP. In December of 2010 the crossing was given the official status of Grade II Listed 'Building' by English Heritage and it remains one of the most popular public tourist destinations in London, with people queuing to take turns having their photograph taken crossing the road in the same way The Be-Atles (a popular beat combo of the 1960s, you might've heard of them) did in 1969. Come on, we've all done it. Anyway, a Belisha Beacon which was installed on the far side of the crossing from the EMI Studios, replacing one that was hit by a car in 2018, represents a unique part of history, it is claimed. Having 'illuminated in its blinking fashion for decades while Be-Atles fans from around the world came to the crossing to have their crossing picture taken.' It is now being offered for blinking sale by Bonhams as part of the 'British Cool' auction. It has a price guide of seven to nine thousand smackers and it measures in at one hundred and eighteen inches high with a seven inch wide (and rather rusty) base and an eleven-and-a-half inch amber-colored plastic beacon on top. The electric internal of the lamp have been removed, though that would likely not be overly challenging to any halfway decent electrician to refit a blinking electrical light into the blinking beacon.

All of which rank kerfufflement brings us, with the tragic inevitability of the tragically inevitable, to that regular part of From The North dedicated to this blogger's on-going medical malarkey. Or, strictly speaking, malarkeys as there have been - and in fact still are - several of them. For those dear blog readers who haven't been following this on-going fiasco which appears to have been on-going longer than the decline and fall of the Roman Empire, it goes like this: Keith Telly Topping spent some weeks around Christmas 2021 into New Year 2022 feeling rotten; experienced five days in hospital; was discharged; received B12 injections; then more injections; somewhat recovered his missing appetite; got an initial diagnosis; had a consultant's meeting; continued to suffer fatigue and insomnia; endured a second endoscopy; had another consultation; got (unrelated) toothache; had an extraction; which took ages to heal; had another consultation; spent a week where nothing remotely health-related occurred; was given further B-12 injections; had an echocardiogram; received more blood extractions; made another hospital visit; saw the insomnia and torpor continue; received yet more blood tests; had a rearranged appointment for his sick note; suffered his worst period yet with the fatigue. Until the following week. And, then the week after that. Oh, the fatigue, dear blog reader. The depressing, ceaseless fatigue. He had a go on the Blood-Letting Machine; got another sickie; had an assessment; was given his fourth COVID jab; got some surprising news related to his assessment; had the results of his annual diabetes check-up; had another really bad week with the fatigue; followed by one with the sciatica; then one with the chronic insomnia; and, one with a plethora of general cold-related grottiness. A plethora of general cold-related grottiness which continued over the Christmas period and into the New Year. Then, there was that whole 'slipping in The Stately Telly Topping Manor Plague House bath and putting his knee through the side' thing. And, the nasty night-time leg cramps. Plus, the 'getting new spectacles' travails.

Longer-term dear blog readers may recall that yer actual Keith Telly Topping used to be something of a regular swimmer at The East End Pool in Byker just a mere few years back. Sadly, first through the on-set of the dreaded Covid malarkey and then the last year's various health-related shenanigans (see above), this blogger has been virtual a stranger to the gaff of late. But with the shocking state that this blogger's back is currently in, Doctor Nasir advised Keith Telly Topping to give swimming - or, at least, floating in a vaguely non-energetic manner - another shot as it may help ease his back muscles (as it has done in the past). So, on Tuesday of this week, this blogger did just that. He managed but two (that's two) lengths and was then all tired and shagged-out and needed a jolly long lie down in the steam room to recover what little of his energy hadn't pissed off into the sunset. All of which occurred just as The Average White Band's 'Let Go Round Again' started playing on the pool tannoy. No thanks, Hamish, this blogger was bit too Jacob's Cream Crackered to even consider about such a course of action. Can it really be just four or five years, dear blog reader, since Keith Telly Topping would think nowt of doing up to thirty lengths before he'd had his breakfast? This blogger really does seem to be completely shot to buggery and his entire get-up-and-go has, sad to report, got-up-and-gone. There was, though, one additional reason for the pool trip; since the whole knee-through-the-side-of-the-bath fiasco, this blogger has spent the last six weeks bathing in the Stately Telly Topping Manor Plague House sink - which isn't ideal as this blogger is sure all dear blog readers will appreciate. Particularly as it does little to aid his currently inflamed sciatic nerve. So, what an 'uge pleasure it was, after leaving the steam room, to spend a good ten minutes in the shower washing all of the bits that are hard to reach when you're standing at a sink armed only with a damp flannel. This blogger also emerged from the place smelling mightily of strawberries due to the flavoured shampoo he was packing. The only downside was that after using the hairdryer, Keith Telly Topping uncannily resembled Eddie The Wolf Boy from The Munsters. You win some, you lose some.

Meanwhile, it was all kicking-off big-style in the Morrisons cafe when this blogger limped down Shields Road for his tea and toast. Some mad wifey was getting geet narked and stroppy that they had no poached eggs left and wanted the entire world to know it. All whilst 'Band On The Run' was playing on the in-store sound-system. Like this blogger - and, pretty much everyone else in the joint - the Gaoler Man and Sailor Sam were getting a bit irritated, frankly.

There Keith Telly Topping was, the weight of the world on his shoulders. It was all right.

Have a right good gander, dear blog readers, at From The North's favourite letter of the week (by quite a distance).

And now, dear blog readers in Florida, after this story received quite widespread coverage around the globe, Keith Telly Topping is sure that you're all pure dead happy to learn the following bit of important information.

Especially as it means you're rejecting the 'woke' nonsense of Marge Simpson and her ilk where Michelangelo's 'Dave' is concerned and public display of parts of the human body which, practical as they may be, are evil. 'I guess one person can make a difference, but most of the time they probably shouldn't?'

Remember, dear blog reader, when in Florida you should always carry one of these in your luggage in case of emergencies.

Meanwhile ...

Did you know, dear blog reader, that 30 March is, officially, International Zero Waste Day. So, if you have any spare zeroes which need wasting, that would seem to be the perfect day for such a heavy task.

The From The North Headline of The Week award goes to the Evening Standard for RSPCA Investigates Reports Of A Skunk On The Loose In Muswell Hill. Shop worker Lauren O'Hara spotted the striped mammal running towards her as she went to get on a bus first thing in the morning. The thirty four-year-old told the Sun: 'At first I thought it was a cat. Suddenly I realised it was a skunk and I lost it.' 'The stripey critter [sic] paused at a bus stop at the crack of dawn as a stunned commuter said: "F***"' the alleged newspaper added, helpfully. Suggestions for what the missing four-letter word beginning in 'F' that the stunned (but, anonymous and, therefore, almost certainly fictitious) commuter said might've been to the usual blog address. This blogger reckons he's got it down to a potential list of nine hundred and twelve, including 'free', 'foul', 'flow', 'fork', 'funk', 'foot' flog', 'fins', 'fast', 'fern', 'folk', 'fops', 'fuzz', 'fool', 'from', 'fund', 'food', 'fats', 'fart', 'frig', 'fill, 'full', 'fool', 'feel'. Or, 'fuck'.

And finally, dear blog reader, it was that colour when I got it. Honest.