National heartthrob David Tennant has publicly responded to - completely unsubstantiasted - fan-rumours that he could be returning to Doctor Who. After the shocking - and stunning - announcement that yer man Big Rusty Davies will be steering the TARDIS's course from the next series as showrunner, 'speculation' (for which read 'sad, hyperventilating wishful-thinking by a few squeeing fans') followed that Rusty could be reuniting with one of his acclaimed former Doctors. Speaking to an audience at last weekend's German Comic-Con (and, eagerly reported by the Radio Times. Which, used to be a good magazine when it had some adults in charge), Tennant acknowledged that virtually everything he says in relation to Doctor Who automatically becomes headline news, which makes it difficult for him to field such queries. 'I've been asked a version of this question for the last twenty years and I've learned through bitter experience that there's not any point even answering it, because whatever I say is spun by whoever wants to hear it,' he noted. For this reason, he didn't offer a firm denial concerning the unlikely rumours but, instead, spoke of the idea of his Doctor returning for a second stint on television - which would be an unprecedented move for the franchise. 'There's no point in me denying it, there's no point in me confirming it, there's no point in me fudging it. Whatever I say will become whatever the Internet wants it to be. I mean, it would be quite a weird idea and it's not something that you'd necessarily expect from Doctor Who. That's all I can [do]. I'm not going to try giving any more than that because what's the point?' Jodie Whittaker and showrunner Chris Chibnall will be wrapping up their own period on the BBC's popular, long-running family SF drama soon, with but one episode still to be broadcast later in the year before Big Rusty ushers in a new/old era. You all knew that, right? There is still no word on when the final chapter will be broadcast, nor upon whom will be the next occupant of the TARDIS. And, at that point, the Radio Times - which has done more than virtually any other organ of the media to propel this crass, risible rumour to masses - invited its readers to voice their own opinion on whether David returning to Doctor Who would be a good idea or not, even though it's highly unlikely to happen.
... The results of which were published in another utterly pointless, nothing story - of the sort Radio Times appears to specialise in these days - the following day. There's little to see here, dear blog readers, although it must be said that the headline of the second article, Doctor Who Fans Want New Actor, Not David Tennant, As [The] Fourteenth Doctor is simply crying out for the response: 'What? And you've asked all of them, have you?' Because this blogger - a Doctor Who fan since 1968 - never got that particular memo.
And, speaking of the sort of utter, abject, ludicrous shat that the Radio Times choses to publish, Hannah Watkin's article on the forthcoming regeneration episode, Is Doctor Who's Centenary Special Already In Trouble? probably deserves some sort of award for being a comment-piece based on, seemingly, some casting announcements and a trailer and, apparently, with its mind already thoroughly made up. Nice work if you can get it, no doubt. Once again From The North feels compelled to ask, does anyone out there remember when the Radio Times was a magazine of record, written by, edited by and published by adults? This blogger is aware some of you younglings may not but, trust Keith Telly Topping, it once was exactly that. Many, many years ago, in a galaxy far, far away.
Chris Chibnall has told the Doctor Who Magazine that he was only informed of Big Rusty's decision to return to the Doctor Who franchise a mere thirty six hours before it was made public. 'Piers [Wenger] and Charlotte [Moore] told me,' he explained. 'I had a suspicion, because Russell hadn’t texted me for a while. And he's never been that quiet!' Expect some members of The Special People with an agenda smeared, an inch thick, all over their faces to attempt to turn that, clearly humorous, comment into a 'showrunners at war!'-style rumourette. It's Doctor Who fandom, dear blog reader. It's what we do. Or, what some of us do, anyway.
Meanwhile, soon-to-be-former Executive Producer Matt Strevens has claimed that Chris Chibnall and Jodie Whittaker's Doctor Who legacy is 'assured' and that he has 'no doubt' the showrunner and actress will be remembered 'with love' by fans once they're gone. Not by some 'fans', they won't. Although, it's probably worth remembering at this juncture that both Big Rusty and The Lord Thy God Steven Moffat (OBE) had their very vocal detractors within fandom during their stints on the show and then, ten minutes after they'd left and someone else took over the production, suddenly, many of those who had poo-pah'd their efforts were busy telling everyone that would listen (and, indeed, anyone that wouldn't) how much worse Doctor Who had gotten over late and how much better it used to be. Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose, dear blog reader. That's yer actual French, that is. And, just to confirm what should be bleeding obvious to all who've been reading this blog for any length of time, this blogger thought Jodie and Chibs were both great. And, on that bombshell ...
The return of ITV's - really rather decent - John Simm vehicle, the Brighton-based Grace featured an episode which was 'tonally confused, but thrilling fun' according to some prick of no importance at the Radio Times (which used to be written by adults). And, for once, this blogger is forced - forced, please note, dear blog reader - to agree with the prick of no importance at the Radio Times because that's, actually, a decent summation of the episode in question (Looking Good Dead). The episode, written by Russell Lewis, was made in 2020 and was broadcast last year in the US. It finally rocked up on British screens last Sunday. When parts of a young woman's body are discovered on The Downs, Roy Grace believes the murder is connected to two prior killings involving sex-drug overdoses. Meanwhile, a local businessman stumbles upon a memory stick containing an access key to a dark-Web snuff site, where he witnesses the woman's murder and the shadowy operators of the website warn him not to go to the police, or his family will suffer the consequences of his Copper's Narking. 'Tonally bonkers' is an accurate description but with an excellent cast, the whole thing worked rather well. Three further episodes, made last year, will be broadcast over the coming weeks.
Earlier this week, this blogger received his preview copy of the opening episode of The Man Who Fell To Earth. And, he rather enjoyed it. Not at all what Keith Telly Topping had been expecting but it was an interesting update/sequel to the much-loved Nic Roeg/David Bowie movie adaptation (this blogger loved Bill Nighy's Extremely Thin White Duke impression). Chiwetel Ejiofor was very good in it, especially his attempts to smile.
This blogger also caught up with the two most recent episodes of From The North favourite Picard. Mercy was more than a touch over-complicated with far too many subplots, the always-excellent Jay Karnes being, you know, excellent (as always) notwithstanding. And, you've just got to stand up and applaud Agnes's totally darza Big Bad Biker Boots! She wasn't wearing those when she turned up at the gala in that dress three episodes ago, was she? The subsequent Hide & Seek, on the other hand, was a lot of fun for the first three-quarters of the episode with tons of action and some great dialogue ('it's a lovely day', 'Wars have been fought on lovely days!') But, the ending was a bit wank, albeit probably necessary to set up next week's series finale.
As part of the celebrations for the one hundredth birthday of this blogger's beloved BBC, the BFI website has an article listing One Hundred BBC TV Gamechangers, featuring one hundred programmes which, in the opinion of the numerous writers, 'changed the face of television.' At various points, it seems a bit arbitrary (where's Till Death Us Do Part, for instance?) but, it's a decent enough effort at demonstrating just how often the Beeb have been ahead of the game. The article, which is certainly worth half-an-hour of your time dear blog reader, can be accessed here.
Award-winning writer Steven Knight is to create a new BBC drama series set in the era of ska and the 2-Tone movement. Two Tone will tell the story of an extended family and four young people drawn into the scene which grew out of Coventry and Birmingham in the late 1970s. Unifying black, white and Asian youths at that time, Knight said the series' soundtrack would be 'sensational.' It will start filming later this year at Knight's new Birmingham studios. The sixth and final series of his hugely successful BBC historical gangster drama Peaky Blinders, also based in the city, concluded earlier this month. You may have noticed - it was in the papers and everything. This new six-part series on BBC1 will be set in the West Midlands at a time of 'real cultural and historical progression,' Karen Wilson, from producers Kudos said. The music scene - which fused traditional Jamaican ska with punk and social comment - produced several of this blogger's favourite Popular Beat Combos, including The Specials, The Selecter, The Beat and Madness. 'This is a project that's literally very close to home and I'm developing characters and themes that are set in the early eighties but, hopefully, are very contemporary,' the Academy Award-nominee and BAFTA-winning writer said. Ben Irving, acting director of BBC Drama said: 'Steven has taken his knowledge of this time and place and used it to weave a brilliantly original and characterful drama, set against the musical backdrop of ska and 2-Tone. We are thrilled to be able to bring this unique piece to viewers on the BBC.' As the man once - nearly - said, Steven Knight knows, don't argue.
Unfunny comedian and really terrible actor-turned-pain-in-the-arse-talk-show-host James Corden has announced that he will be leaving The Late Late Show next year. Which is, of course, absolutely awful news since it means The Odious Oaf will now be available to return to the UK and inflict his wholly unwanted presence all over our TV screens instead of merely rotting the brains of Americans. The Odious Oaf made the announcement during a recording of the CBS network's show in Los Angeles. Corden - best known in the UK for the utterly rotten, wretched and funny-as-a-wart-on-the-knackers Gavin & Stacey - has hosted the US-based talk show since 2015 when he took over from Craig Ferguson. Someone who was, actually, funny. Speaking on Thursday's episode of The Late Late Show, The Odious Oaf said it had been 'the hardest decision I've ever had to make.' Well, don't do it then - Britain has its own problems to deal with at the present time without you adding to them.
Samsung has snivellingly apologised for a recent advert which showed a woman getting up at 2am to go for a run through the streets of a city alone. Though, sadly, not for the advert featuring a really drippy and 'orrible acoustic cover version of 'Seven Nation Army' by one Zella Day. The advert has been criticised by some women's running groups and safety campaigners for being 'unrealistic.' Samsung told Radio 1's Newsbeat that it was never its intention to 'be insensitive to ongoing conversations around women's safety. We apologise for how this may have been received,' it added. 'The 'Night Owls' campaign was designed with a positive message in mind: to celebrate individuality and freedom to exercise at all hours.' Women's safety group Reclaim These Streets has described it as 'tone deaf' in light of the death of Ashling Murphy who was killed on a run in January.
From The North favourite, yer actual Benedict Cumberbatch has revealed that he has been matched with a Ukrainian family who are on their way to live with him and his missus. In their spacious London dwelling. Benny made headlines in March when he said on the red carpet at the BAFTAs that he would be 'happy' to offer to share his home with refugees fleeing the warzone in Ukraine. So long as they don't nick stuff and leave their grubby fingerprints on any of his awards. Probably. He has now confirmed - to Sky News if not anyone slightly more reliable - that he has been matched, adding: 'They've made it out of Ukraine, I'm monitoring their progress every day. Sadly, they are undergoing some medical treatment - to say anything more about that would be invasion of their privacy and too much about when they're coming and how that's being managed would invade mine - but I want to give them some stability after the turmoil that they've experienced and that's within my home.' Benny added: 'I've been trying to help other Ukrainian families - nationals that are UK citizens - to house their extended families en masse, which you know they want to do, but it's very costly. So, I've been trying to help out with that financially in a couple of instances.' What a guy, eh?
Actor, director and From The North favourite Olivia Wilde was reportedly seemingly unruffled after being handed child custody documents while appearing on-stage at an event in Las Vegas. She was delivering a presentation on Tuesday when a brown envelope was handed to her. Opening it, she discovered it contained custody papers from her former partner, Jason Sudeikis. Who had 'no prior knowledge' of the circumstances of the letter's delivery, an alleged - though anonymous and, therefore, possibly fictitious - sources allegedly close to him allegedly claimed. Wilde is best known for directing the US high school teen movie Booksmart and for her role as Remy Hadley in House. She met Sudeikis - star of the comedy series Ted Lasso - in 2011. They were engaged and had two children together before separating in 2020. Wilde was interrupted while introducing footage of her upcoming thriller Don't Worry Darling at a CinemaCon conference. Wilde asked, 'This is for me?' as she was handed an envelope marked 'private and confidential' by an unknown woman. She opened the letter during her presentation and scanned its contents, before resuming her speech. The letter was not mentioned again and led to speculation that Wilde had been handed a new film script. But on Wednesday, it emerged that the letter had, instead, contained custody papers. 'Papers were drawn up to establish jurisdiction relating to the children of Ms Wilde and Mister Sudeikis,' an alleged 'source' allegedly close to Sudeikis allegedly told Variety. Sudeikis 'had no prior knowledge of the time or place that the envelope would have been delivered as this would solely be up to the process service company involved and he would never condone her being served in such an inappropriate manner,' the alleged 'source' allegedly added. In response to the incident, the organiser of the event, CinemaCon, said in a statement that it would henceforth 're-evaluate' its security protocols after questions arose concerning how the Hell the letter came to be delivered to Wilde on-stage in the first place. 'We will act accordingly because it's the right thing to do. We want to do the safe, proper thing,' it added.
An actress and her husband repeatedly had The Sex with a thirteen-year-old girl after grooming her, a court has heard. Zara Phythian - who appeared in Doctor Strange with Benedict Cumberbatch - is accused of numerous sexual offences along with her husband, Victor Marke. The girl, who is now an adult, told police that the couple filmed most of the abuse in an attempt to recreate pornographic scenes. Marke and Phythian deny all of the offences. A police interview with the woman was played to jurors at Nottingham Crown Court where she described details of the alleged sexual offences between 2005 and 2008, when the girl was aged between thirteen and fifteen and before the couple were married. The couple were both martial arts instructors in Nottinghamshire at the time of the alleged crimes and the woman told police that she had 'looked up' to Phythian because of her martial arts success. She said the first offences happened after the couple gave her alcohol to drink and Phythian 'dared' her to give Marke The Oral Sex. She said Marke then had The Sex with both of them. 'I knew it was wrong but I just didn't know how to get out of the situation or say anything,' she told police. 'I remember trying to copy Zara's reaction at the time because I looked up to her and tried to be like her in every way.' As the abuse continued, she said Marke threatened to smash her kneecaps if she told anyone. 'He just said nobody would believe me if I told them anyway,' she told police. 'They always had a power over me.' Marke and Phythian are jointly accused of fourteen charges of sexual activity with a child in relation to the woman. Marke is also accused of four additional charges of indecently assaulting a child, which are related to another woman who complained to police. She was aged fifteen when she was allegedly abused by Marke, between 2002 and 2003. The court was told that Marke was married to a woman called Juliet when the abuse started. However, the marriage broke down, the court heard, after Marke had an affair with Phythian, who was a teenager herself at the time. The trial continues.
The Conservative MP accused of watching pornography in the House of Commons chamber has been named as Neil Parish. He has been suspended from the parliamentary party and is under investigation by Parliament's standards commissioner. Two female colleagues complained earlier this week after allegedly seeing him looking at adult content on his phone while sitting near them. Parish said he had referred himself for investigation. If the standards commissioner, Kathryn Stone, finds that he has violated the code of conduct for MPs, possible sanctions range from having to make an apology to the Commons to suspension or expulsion. Questioned by the BBC, Parish said he would 'co-operate fully' with the inquiry and would await Stone's findings before commenting on the allegation. When asked if he made a mistake and opened something on his phone in error, he said: 'I did, but let the inquiry look at that. Of course it's embarrassing and its embarrassing for my wife and family and that's my main concern at the moment,' he said, 'I have a very supportive wife and I thank her for that.' Parish said he had told his wife that the reports concerned him on Friday afternoon and said he would 'not remain' an MP if he was 'found guilty.' For the time being, Parish said he would 'continue to perform my duties as MP for Tiverton and Honiton' while the investigation was ongoing, in a statement on his website. In an interview with The Times, Parish's wife, Sue, said the allegation was 'very embarrassing' and described her husband as 'quite a normal guy and a lovely person.' She said she did not see the attraction of pornography and understood why the women who made the allegation were upset. 'I'm a woman,' she was quoted as saying. 'Hence why the women were so cross. It's degrading. It's demanding. But on the other hand it takes two to tango. There must be women posing for all this.' Veteran Labour MP and former deputy party leader Harriet Harman told the BBC the allegations marked a 'new low for the House of Commons.'
Subsequently, Parish claimed - not particularly convincingly - that he 'may' have opened the web page containing pornography on his phone 'by mistake.' Whilst he had, allegedly, been looking for information on tractors.
Then, the following day, Parish seemingly realised that absolutely no one was buying his 'this was all a ghastly tractor-related mistake' rhetoric and coughed up to his naughty porn-viewing ways, offering his resignation and asking not to be caned, suggesting that he had been led astray by older boys. Probably. Parish, who has represented Tiverton and Honiton in Devon since 2010, said it had been a 'moment of madness.' Although given that he has, reportedly, admitted to twice viewing the same porn website, surely that should be two moments of madness?
Ultimately, what does all of this malarkey prove, dear blog reader? Well ...
A London police officer who appeared on the Nigerian version of Big Brother without permission from her bosses has been given a final written warning. Which, presumably, included the observation that 'Big Brother is so last decade, baby.' Constable Khafilat Kareem was a serving Metropolitan Police officer when she applied to be on the show in 2019. A misconduct hearing ruled Kareem should be given the written warning after gross misconduct was proven. She entered the Big Brother house in Lagos in June 2019 and lasted seventy seven days before being evicted. The misconduct panel found Kareem had 'breached the standards of professional behaviour' in relation to 'orders and instructions' and 'discreditable conduct.' By appearing on a shit reality TV-show. Following the panel's conclusion, Detective Chief Superintendent Andy Day said: 'Permission was refused for Kareem to appear on the Nigerian version of Big Brother as it was felt it was not in the best interest for either her or the Metropolitan Police Service to take part. Despite this refusal, she went on the show anyway. A detailed investigation was carried out by the Met's Directorate of Professional Standards which concluded Kareem should face gross misconduct proceedings. Being a police officer means you must abide by the standards of professional behaviour. Kareem's behaviour clearly fell far short and she has been given a final written warning.' Kareem had admitted one misconduct allegation of surrendering her work laptop to the producers of Big Brother, but had denied three other misconduct allegations. In June 2019, she requested unpaid leave to appear on the show. Although permission for the leave was granted, permission to take part in the show was not. Earlier this week, the tribunal heard Kareem contacted Deputy Assistant Commissioner Matt Twist on 30 June hours before she went on the programme to ask him to reverse the decision for her not to go on the programme. Twist voiced concerns over Kareem's welfare, her conduct and the public image of a serving Met Police officer on a - crap - reality TV-show. Her superior, Chief Superintendent Jason Gwillim, said the following day that he 'became aware' Kareem had entered the Big Brother house and would be uncontactable until September. He told the hearing his concerns then shifted towards her welfare as the national media began to pick up on the story.
New Evidence Suggests Shakespeare May Have Stolen The Plot Of Cymbeline according to a piece of half-arsed bollocks in the Gruniad Morning Star. To which, no doubt, The Bard his very self would have replied: 'Tis slander!' Cymbeline, one of Shakespeare's later - less funny - plays, is about an ancient King of the Britons. It revolves around a bet about the faithfulness of his daughter, Innogen, to the man she marries in secret, Posthumus Leonatus and builds into a confrontation between the Britons and the Roman army. The character of Cymbeline is based on a Celtic King referred to by contemporary historians and an important figure in later histories of Britain by writers such as Geoffrey of Monmouth. You knew all that, right?
A 'top scientist' (this is according to the Sun so, dear blog readers will have to kindly put up with some dreadful writing in this section) is 'plotting a mission to find what he believes is alien technology lying at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean.' Controversial (for which read 'other top scientists think he's a bit mental') astrophysicist Avi Loeb believes an interstellar object that crash-landed on Earth in 2014 was 'some form of spacecraft.' A US Space Command report released last week confirmed that the object was 'from another star system.' However, the agency concluded, somewhat more plausibly, that the projectile - splashed down off the coast of Manus Island, Papua New Guinea - was a meteor. Professor Loeb, however, 'is having none of it.' (Again, dear blog reader, this is the Sun so, you know, allowances have to be made. Especially at the lack of many words with more than one syllable in the article.) Loeb claimed on Wednesday that the object 'could' have been 'built by extraterrestrials.' Interesting scientific word, 'could', don't you think? 'Our discovery of an interstellar meteor heralds a new research frontier,' the Harvard astronomer wrote in an essay for The Debrief. 'The fundamental question is whether any interstellar meteor might indicate a composition that is unambiguously artificial in origin. Better still, perhaps some technological components would survive the impact.' Professor Loeb's claims frequently make headlines - especially when arsewipes like the Sun get hold of them - and he has 'faced criticism from others in his field' over his 'outlandish extraterrestrial theories.' Working with a student at Harvard, Professor Loeb was actually the astronomer who identified the object as interstellar a few years ago. The pair wrote a paper about it but were instructed not to publish it because they used classified government data for their research. Which means that they're lucky they weren't banged up in Guantanamo without so much as a by-your-leave for such national security-threatening naughtiness. Loeb is calling for an expedition to find whatever's left of the object. In his essay, he noted that a 'retrieval expedition' could be achieved using 'scooping' magnets to explore the ten square kilometre region of the Pacific Ocean where the object is believed to have landed. 'My dream is to press some buttons on a functional piece of equipment that was manufactured outside of Earth,' he added. This blogger's dream, for what it's worth dear blog reader, involves Gillian Anderson, a tin of pears-in-syrup and some custard. Mind you, this blogger had eaten a lot of cheese before he went to bed that particular night. Anyway, the astrophysicist 'is no stranger to controversy,' according to the Sun. No shit? He has produced 'provocative research' on black holes, space radiation, the early universe and other topics of his field. And, also, claimed that Phil Chuckle was going to be the next Doctor. Which he isn't, by the way. Over the past decade, his focus has been trained on a more contentious topic: The possibility that Earth has been visited in the past by extraterrestrials. Professor Loeb has repeatedly claimed that Oumuamua - an interstellar object which passed through the Solar System in 2017 - was 'technology sent by aliens.' He repeated the 'heavily contested' comments - which earned him headlines across the globe and quite a bit of derision - in a book published last year. Which is available on Amazon if anyone fancies a good laugh. 'What would happen if a caveman saw a cellphone?' Loeb wrote. 'He's seen rocks all his life and he would have thought it was just a shiny rock.' He took fault with astronomers who argued that the object was a comet, saying it was akin to letting 'the familiar to define what we might discover.' If it looks like a duck, mate and it quacks like a duck ... Many scientists have rubbished his latest outlandish claims, branding them 'cavalier and irresponsible.' And yet, the Sun still chose to publish them. As 'news', apparently. Loeb heads The Galileo Project, which aims to establish a network of advanced telescopes that will scan the skies for any signs of alien life.
Look up in the sky at the right moment this very weekend, dear blog reader and you could see two of the solar system's brightest planets almost touching. Venus and Jupiter will be millions of miles apart, of course, but from Earth's perspective, they will appear close to colliding. This planetary conjunction happens annually but this year they will appear much closer than usual. The same spectacle won't occur again like this until 2039. Just the naked eye or binoculars should be enough to see it in a clear sky. After Saturday, the two planets will go their separate ways as they drift apart in the coming days. 'It's very exciting for astronomers and it's a really great opportunity for people to get out and have a look,' explained scientist, chief stargazer at the Society for Popular Astronomy, regular The Sky At Night contributor and From The North favourite Professor Lucie Green. The planets will be low in the sky, close to the horizon and hills and buildings could block the view. If you can, find a high spot and look for two dazzlingly bright spots very close together. 'The planets will differ in their brightness. Venus is brighter than Jupiter so it will look dazzlingly bright when you see it. Jupiter will be slightly fainter, about one-sixth of the brightness of Venus,' explained Professor Lucie. She suggested using an app to help navigate your way around the skies. Or, if you don't have a mobile phone - as many people don't - then just using your eyes would probably do.
A tornado has been filmed tearing through the US state of Kansas. Hang on ... this is the plot of The Wizard Of Oz, isn't it? If a young Judy Garland turns up wearing ruby slippers and clutching a small, yappy-type dog, you'll know that, truly, we are near The End Of Days.
On Thursday, dear blog reader, this blogger had one of his - increasingly rare - social outings, meeting with his mucker Young Malcolm at the Tyneside Cinema to watch John Madden's adaptation of Operation Mincemeat. And, very good it was, dear blog reader. Slightly too long, admittedly (two hours and eight minutes, this blogger could've done with it being about fifteen minutes shorter and his arse and bladder both agree with him). Gorgeously shot, though and really well-acted (it's got half-a-dozen or more of this blogger's favourite actors in it). Of course, as some dear blog readers will be aware, the story is based (loosely) on a true event which had previously been filmed in the 1950s (as The Man Who Never Was). This is much more an adaptation of From The North favourite Ben MacIntyre's recent book on the subject. This blogger enjoyed Johnny Flynn's delicious little turn (he even looks a bit like a young Ian Fleming), From The North favourite Hello To Jason Isaacs was, of course, great (so what else is new? At one point he was threatening to steal the movie in a handful of scenes, just as he did in Death Of Stalin). This blogger adored the, he presumes entirely intentional, [spooks] joke they gave to Matty Macfadyen early on in the piece. And, ultimately, this was a film with Colin Firth, Simon Russell Beale, Mark Gatiss, Kelly Macdonald, Mark Bonner, the late Paul Ritter and Penny Wilton in it, what - this blogger demands to knows - is there not to love? This blogger wasn't especially concerned by some of the liberties taken with aspects of the story - it is a movie after all. Young Malcolm got a bit of a lip-on over some 'factual errors.' This blogger merely observed that if he wants to know a true historical story, he'll read a book or watch a documentary on the subject; movies are something else entirely. That said, the one bit of the film that did rather irk this blogger was a historical one; the film begins in late 1942 and Ewan Montagu's wife and children are about to go to America because of a feared German invasion. If the setting had been in mid-1940 pre-The Battle Of Britain, no problem but by late 1942, the Americans and the Soviets were both in the war, Germany was fighting on two fronts already (soon to be three, with Italy), the RAF had given the Luftewaffe a jolly good, hard smacked bottom and the threat of a German invasion of Britain by that stage was minimal and had been for some considerable time - and pretty much everyone knew that. So, that didn't quite sit right with this blogger. Other than that, though ... recommended. Easily, eight out of ten. In fact, it would've been nine if they'd shaved a few minutes off it.
Three days earlier, yer actual Keith Telly Topping was up at the crack of dawn for a slow limp down the road from The Stately Telly Topping Manor Plague House to the bus stop. He was required to visit the Medical Centre for yet another appointment with the - always excellent - Doctor Nasir. During which, this blogger mentioned another symptom in his on-going, much-whinged-about anaemia-related malarkey. (For those who haven't been following the saga which seems to have been on-going longer than Doctor Who: This blogger spent several weeks feeling proper poorly for reasons which no medical professional whom he consulted seemed able to discover; then, he got much worse and spent a week in hospital; he got discharged; he had some injections; he had even more injections; he recovered - somewhat - his previously missing-in-action appetite; he got an - at least partial - diagnosis of his issues; he had a meeting with his hospital consultant; he told anyone that was interested - and, indeed, anyone that wasn't - that he was still suffering from fatigue on a daily basis and he endured another endoscopy.) This blogger has been getting some ankle swelling - and, indeed, calf swelling - usually whenever he has needed to walk any short distance. It's one of the by-products of anaemia, apparently and it's been a shade less prevalent recently than it was just after this blogger got out of hospital. He hadn't mentioned it to his doctor previously, at least in part, due to the positive deluge of other - seemingly, far more serious - symptoms which he has; fatigue, dizziness, insomnia, loss of taste, pins and needles, heart palpitations, glossitis, stomach tenderness, muscle weakness et cetera. Doctor Nasir suggested that the swelling is most likely due to a lack of exercise at the moment and that, once this blogger starts to feel better and begins doing some walking on a regular basis (as opposed to just to-and-from the bus stop, as at the moment) the swelling should begin to lessen, somewhat. We also discussed the diagnosis by the hospital of a Hiatus Hernia last week (Doctor Nasir said it shouldn't affect this blogger too much and it is relatively easy to control via medication). This blogger got a Med 3 covering the next six weeks and went to the post office to withdraw some money. Then, he took the bus home (needing to stop on the way at ALDI for bread, milk, coffee, eggs and mushrooms). As usual after such a - relatively short and not particularly athletic - trip, this blogger got home to find himself exhausted, fatigued, shagged-out, dog-tired and in serious need of a lie down for an hour on the sofa to recover. Something of a regular occurrence, at The Stately Telly Topping Manor Plague House, these days.
There was another verse of From The North favourite Breakfast At Morrisons on Wednesday. Sausage, scrambled eggs, toast, tea and the Metro crossword, dear blog readers. Oh, how richly deserved that was.
Could this surprise new signing be Everton's secret weapon in their efforts to avoid relegation from The Premier League?
In The Premier League last weekend, Jesus scored four (FOUR) for Sheikh Yer Man City. His dad would, no doubt, have been so proud of him.
Meanwhile, at Carrow Road ...
Eric Chappell, the writer of some of ITV's most popular sitcoms, including Rising Damp, Only When I Laugh and Duty Free, has died at the age of eighty eight. His death was revealed by the actor Reece Dinsdale, who starred alongside the late John Thaw in Chappell's sitcom Home To Roost. Dinsdale wrote on Twitter: 'Thank you for everything you did for me, Sir, your scripts were a complete joy to play.' Chappell was a prolific writer for theatre and television but his crowning achievement was Rising Damp, described as 'ITV's finest ever sitcom' by Mark Lewisohn in The Radio Times Guide To Comedy. At a time when the Radio Times used to be written by adults. Rising Damp ran between 1974 and 1978 and had a magnificent central cast: Leonard Rossiter as the miserly, manic, landlord Rigsby, Frances de la Tour as the dreamy romantic Ruth Jones, Don Warrington as the suave Philip, who claims to be the son of an African chief and the late Richard Beckinsale as the naïve, good-natured medical student Alan. Rising Damp regularly attracted audiences of eighteen million. Its many fans include the Gruniad Morning Star's film editor, Catherine Shoard, who wrote in 2009: 'At its best, it bears comparison with Beckett and Pinter.' Chappell told the Gruniad last year that he had been concerned that Rigsby's prejudicial attitude towards Philip ('don't worry', Risby tells a crying baby in one episode. 'He won't eat you. His father might've!') could be misinterpreted as something to be celebrated or mimicked by bonehead numbskulls, as had infamously happened with Johnny Speight's character of Alf Garnett. The quality of the writing meant that was not to be the case. Chappell said he hoped he 'had written an intelligent comedy about race relations.' Chappell was born in Grantham, in September 1933 and worked as an auditor for the East Midlands Electricity Board for twenty two years. After several of his novels were rejected by publishers he decided to write plays, recognising that dialogue was his great skill. On a whim, he sent his first attempt, The Banana Box, to an agent at Curtis Brown because he had read and admired the plays of RC Sherriff, who was a client of that agency. There was a reading of the play, then a premiere at The Phoenix Theatre in Leicester in 1971, with Wilfrid Brambell in the landlord role, followed by an Oxford Playhouse touring production by David Scase. This version moved to the Hampstead Theatre Club in London in May 1973 - the text was published in Plays & Players magazine - with Rossiter, De la Tour (replacing Rosemary Leach, who had originally played Miss Jones), Warrington and Paul Jones - the actor and former singer with Manfred Mann - as Alan. It then transferred to The Apollo Theatre for a six-week run as the television pilot was commissioned and Beckinsale replaced Jones. The BBC had allegedly declined to take up an option because Chappell's script contained 'too many jokes.' The landlord as played by Brambell had been called Rooksby, but a real-life landlord of that name objected to being represented on-stage as such a scrofulous, lecherous toe-rag and the name was changed. It was undoubtedly Rossiter's turbo-charged, manic and physically extraordinary performance that propelled the huge success of the TV series. Joe McGrath's 1980 film adaptation, with Christopher Strauli replacing Beckinsale, who had tragically died in 1979, was a disappointment, but Rising Damp lives on in endless repeats. Chappell became a full-time writer and embarked on a prolific career. Another TV sitcom he had created, The Squirrels, was broadcast at around the same time as Rising Damp. This was set in the accounts department of a television rental company and starred Bernard Hepton as a boss who, like Rigsby, but less alarmingly, sees himself as something of a ladies' man. Most of Chappell's writing played on ideas of class distinction, snobbery and delusions of grandeur, separated partners and adultery and social and emotional crises. Always working on an Olympia typewriter, he wrote most of his TV sitcoms as dramatic pieces for the theatre, sometimes adapting a play - he wrote over two dozen in all - and, occasionally, returning a sitcom to its theatrical roots. None of these plays achieved success comparable to that of The Banana Box. Father's Day (2011) for instance, was a poor spin-off from the series Home To Roost (1985 to 1990) starring John Thaw as an irascible divorcee who has his comfortable bachelor-pad existence invaded by a teenage, semi-delinquent son (Reece Dinsdale), who turns out to be a chip off the old block. Wife After Death - in which a husband's double life comes to light at his funeral - was last heard of touring with Tom Conti in 2010, although it does, like many of Chappell's plays, remain a staple of the amateur rep. This recognition, at least, satisfied his hunger for appreciation in the live theatre, which he loved. Chappell's other sitcom series included two collaborations with the late Peter Bowles (who had played a lascivious thespian in one memorable Rising Damp episode): The highly successful Only When I Laugh (1979 to 1982), in which Bowles was one of a trio of class-differentiated patients in a hospital ward (the others played by Strauli and, in a magnificent performance as the workshy Royston Figgis, James Bolam), supervised by Richard Wilson as a grumpy surgeon and The Bounder (1982 to 1983), in which Bowles struck up a superb double-act with George Cole as, respectively, an ex-convict living with his streetwise brother-in-law. There were some highlights in Duty Free (1984 to 1986), with two British couples intermingling adulterously on holiday in Marbella (Keith Barron and Joanna Van Gyseghem crossing a class barrier in illicit lust) and in Singles (1988 to 1991), both co-written with Jean Warr, with Roger Rees, Judy Loe (Beckinsale's widow) and, replacing Rees in the third series, Simon Cadell, in a maelstrom of a singles bar where the regulars jockey for social and sexual supremacy. His final two TV creations were another Keith Barron vehicle, Haggard (1990) and Fiddler's Three (1991), an effective remake of The Squirrels, starring Peter Davison and Paula Wilcox. He never moved far from his roots, living in the village of Barrowby, two miles outside Grantham, smoking his pipe, playing golf and tennis and quietly contemplating the folly of most human endeavour and behaviour, a good deal of which he skewered for the delight of millions of viewers in his popular, perceptive writing. Chappell married Muriel Taylor, who worked for Oxfam, in 1959. They had two children, Richard and Paula, both teachers. All three survive him.
The Grand Old Duke Of York, dear blog reader, he used to have ten million quid, dear blog reader. Key words, 'used to have'. Now, he has been stripped of his Freedom of the City of York honour following a vote by councillors. The motion to remove the accolade given to Prince Andrew in 1987 was carried unanimously at a full council meeting. Councillors also called for him to relinquish his Grand Old Duke Of York (he had ten million quid) title in the wake of his out-of-court settlement with Virginia Giuffre in the US. In February, the prince agreed to pay an undisclosed (but, allegedly, massive) portion of his vast wealth to Giuffre, who had accused him of sexual assault. Despite his claiming that he'd done nothing - nah-thing - wrong. Giuffre had been suing the Grand Old Duke Of York (he had ten million quid) in a civil case, claiming he sexually assaulted her on three occasions when she was seventeen, allegations he - it is important to note - which has repeatedly and strenuously denied. And, it is equally important to add, one or two people even believed him. York Liberal Democrats, the largest group on City of York Council, said the Grand Old Duke Of York (he had ten million quid) had been contacted by the local authority before the meeting to inform him of the motion. The rank of Duke, like other peerages, can only be removed by an act of parliament, which last occurred in 1917.
Now, the latest From The North Headline Of The Week award. And the nominees this week are, dear blog reader, the Hull Mail's Man Fears Pet Crow Called Craig Is Dead After Getting Him Addicted To Cigarettes. Lung cancer, was it?
The Brighton Argus's Sussex Man Sold Unlicensed Erectile Dysfunction Drugs. The article notes that the man has now been jailed for his naughty crimes. Receiving a stiff sentence, no doubt.
And, the BBC News website's US Bride & Caterer Arrested For Allegedly Drugging Guests With Cannabis. The arrests came two months after officials were called to the wedding to assist guests who said they felt as though they had been drugged. Danya Svoboda and caterer Joycelyn Bryan face charges of tampering, negligence and delivery of marijuana. Officials made the arrests after testing food and drinks from the party. The wedding occurred on 19 February in the city of Longwood, in Central Florida. Responding deputies wrote in their incident report that several of the fifty guests present reported 'feeling weird' (not unusual in Florida, dear blog reader, let it be noted - take a look at their governor for example and you, too, will probably feel weird) after eating meatballs, Caesar salad, tortellini and 'bread with an olive oil and herb dip.' Turns out the 'herb' used wasn't basil or dill but, rather, Mary Jane. Guests were reportedly complaining of stomach pains and vomiting. Several were taken to hospital for treatment. One guest told officers he 'felt tingly, his heart started to race and [he] was having crazy thoughts,' according to a police affidavit. Like 'that's the last time I ever gate-crash a wedding,' no doubt.
It has to be said, dear blog reader, if only they'd had this blogger on board Apollo 13, there wouldn't have been any need to get Houston involved. (By the way, if you were wondering, Tom and Bill are cardboard. But that is, indeed, the real Kevin Bacon.)
Speaking of movies, ahead of their long-awaited (well, four weeks-awaited) return to the national conscience with their new podcast in the commercial sector, From The North favourites Mark Kermode and Simon Mayo were the subject of the Observer Morning Star's You Ask The Questions piece this week with sour-faced Miranda Sawyer. You can check it out here - and you really should, dear blog reader, it's utterly brilliant. As with just about everything else the duo do. In addition for some interestingly off-the-wall questions about biscuits from, you know, '(relatively) normal people', celebrity fiends of the pair's late - and much lamented - BBC 5Live programme also contribute. Including Kenneth Brannagh, Mark Strong, Thandwie Newton, Edgar Wright, Mike Leigh and, of course, Hello To Jason Isaacs. The piece also includes the Observer's list of what they consider to be the five 'best' moments from Kermode & Mayo's Film Review, which manages to miss off the time Russell Crowe threatened to chin Mark over an NME review of Romper Stomper which Mark didn't even write. And, of course, anything featuring a review of a movie that had Danny Dyer in it.
And, finally dear blog reader, this.
