Apparently, all the criticism which Russia is currently receiving - for, you know, invading Ukraine, murdering children and various other war crimes - is, reportedly, causing some extremely hurt feelings within The Kremlin. Pure dead irked by the very suggestion that they're not very nice, so they are. On Monday, the Russian government released a list of countries which it deemed 'unfriendly' towards Russia. Not surprisingly, the United States, the UK, Australia and Ukraine all made the list - one presumes they were all delighted by that as, let's face it, who needs a 'friend' like Russia? But many Twitter users - and, also, some people that actually matter - were said to be bemused, shocked (and, indeed, stunned) that tiny and apparently inoffensive nations like Liechtenstein, Montenegro and San Marino were also included on Ze Kremlin List. Sadly, From The North favourite The Federated States of Micronesia, seemingly, didn't make the cut. Must try harder, guys. You could start with this blogger's favourite tactic of questioning the size of Vladimir Putin's maleness; that should get you noticed by some of Putin's sick, psychotic thugs.
Extremely former US President Mister Rump - someone else with a very small penis - 'admired' Vladimir Putin's ability 'to kill anyone he wanted,' according to Rump's former White House press secretary, Stephanie Grisham. In an interview with the US talk show The View on Tuesday, Grisham discussed the former US president' relationship with The Butcher Of Grozny, stating: 'I think [Rump] feared [Putin]. I think he was afraid of him. I think that the man intimidated him. Because Putin is a scary man, frankly, I think he was afraid of him.' She added: 'I also think [Rump] admired him greatly. I think [Rump] wanted to be able to kill whoever spoke out against him. In my experience with him, he loved the dictators, he loved the people who could kill anyone, including the press.'
Russian speakers in the UK are reportedly being urged to phone 'ordinary citizens' in Russia to counter The Kremlin’s crass and laughable propaganda and the media blackout related to the war in Ukraine. Mind you, this is all according to some Middle Class hippy Communists of no importance at the Gruniad Morning Star so it might be some Corbyn-inspired double-bluff-type malarkey at work. You decide, dear blog reader. The Call Russia Initiative, launched on Tuesday, urges volunteers to cold-call Russians at random in order to 'challenge Putin's narrative about the invasion,' one conversation at a time. It uses a database of forty million phone numbers in Russia, which members of the Russian diaspora in the UK and elsewhere have already begun to call, in 'an ambitious non-violent campaign to help end the war.'
BBC News journalists in Russia have resumed their English-language broadcasts, days after putting their work on hold after the introduction of strict new media laws which threaten anyone deemed to have spread 'fake' news about Russia's armed forces with up to fifteen years in Ze Gulag. Numerous other Western news media also suspended their operations. The BBC decided to resume work after 'careful deliberation,' it said. A statement added: 'We have considered the implications of the new legislation alongside the urgent need to report from inside Russia. After careful deliberation we have decided to resume English language reporting from Russia this evening [Tuesday 8 March], after it was temporarily suspended at the end of last week. We will tell this crucial part of the story independently and impartially, adhering to the BBC's strict editorial standards. The safety of our staff in Russia remains our number one priority.'
Fiona Hill, a 'security expert' who served as senior director for European and Russian affairs on the National Security Council from 2017 to 2019 told NBC News that Putin is 'worried about his own position' and that he 'does not want to look weak.' Plus, you know, there's the whole 'very small penis' thing to throw into the mix. She added that the reason Putin was so intent on invading Ukraine in the first place are his fears that the West would use the country to 'tackle' his regime. And, to expose his well-titchy plonker. Probably.
The Premier League has suspended its broadcast deal with Russia. Which means that Russian fans of English football will no longer be able to - legally - watch any games, including those involving the Premier League's only Russian club, Moscow Chelski Frozen Assets. The move will take effect immediately, meaning Thursday's four Premier League matches were not shown in the country. The matter, reportedly, took only fifteen minutes of a four-hour meeting of all twenty Premiership clubs in London on Tuesday to agree. The English top flight also says that it will donate a million smackers to 'support the people of Ukraine.' Which, apparently, was some loose change that one of the Top Six 'found down the back of the sofa' and were at a loss to know what to do with other than, you know, the usual, buying lots of prawn sandwiches. The TV rights for the Premier League were owned by The Rambler Group. The company was in its final year of a three-year deal to broadcast matches in Russia. In a separate move, the Football Association has also suspended its deal with Russia. That means none of this month's FA Cup Quarter-Final matches will be shown in Russia, against, including Moscow Chelski Frozen Assets' tie with The Middlesbrough Smog Monsters. The Premier League says that it 'condemns' Russia's invasion of Ukraine (which you might have heard about - it was on The News and everything) and that its clubs 'unanimously' agreed the move. In the case of Moscow Chelski Frozen Assets, one or two people even believed them.
The owner of a record label has started pulling his company's releases out of the Russian market in response to the invasion of Ukraine. Revolver Records, started by Paul Birch more than forty years ago, has released records by The Stone Roses, Leo Sayer, The Scorpions, The Macc Lads and Jane's Addiction. The company is now deciding whether to stop all sales or to donate proceeds from sales in Russia to refugee charities. Birch, of Wolverhampton, has urged leading music moguls to do the same. 'Music generally leads the way when it comes to ethics, but in the Ukrainian war it's sports and not music leading the way,' he said. 'In fact, music seems to be lagging behind. Shouldn't more assets be seized, given the war in Ukraine and the government's proclamation on sanctions against those close to Vladimir Putin?' Well, this blogger is sure you'll all agree, dear blog reader, that's really gonna show The Butcher Of Grozny that he can't mess with The West. Particularly if he wants to replace any of his original UK Subs singles because he's scratched them whilst pogoing around The Kremlin to 'Warhead'.
Meanwhile, a Welsh orchestra has, reportedly, boycotted music by the Russian composer Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky in protest at the Ukraine invasion. Because, that's really going to piss off The Butcher Of Grozny, isn't it? A refusal by The Cardiff Philharmonic Orchestra to perform tunes by a gay outcast from mainstream Russian society who died in 1893. In a statement, the orchestra claimed it would be 'inappropriate at this time' to perform the composer's music. It had planned a Tchaikovsky concert at St David's Hall on 18 March. Shall we all leave it to the late Chuck Berry to, if you will, 'tell Tchaikovsky the news?'
Jane Wakefield of BBC News this week wrote a rather stretching-it-a-bit piece entitled Russia-Ukraine: Is Internet On Verge Of Break-Up? to which the most likely answer is, 'no, it's jolly useful as a tool for revealing, to all mankind, the microscopic nature of Vladimir Putin's todger.'
Moving, quickly, away from criminally psychotic, paranoid and not-even-remotely well-endowed mass-murdering bastard-dictators, there's a fascinating interview with Ray Davies on the Please Kill Me website (o, me neither). In which the former Kinks singer/songwriter 'waxes eloquent' about his brother, Dave, their mother and father, The Village Green Preservation Society, The Be-Atles (a popular beat combo of the 1960s, you might've heard of them) and Brian Epstein, Keith Richards, 'Madame' Jagger, Rod Stewart and The Queen Mother's teeth. Trust this blogger, it does all make sense. And, it features splashes of Ray's trademark wit which are worth the price of entry alone. The price of entry, incidentally, being free. Bargain.
And, speaking of The Be-Atles (a popular beat combo of the 1960s, you might've heard of them), The Empress pub in Toxteth is set to be 'transformed' into a Be-Atles-themed hotel, complete with a mural of Be-Atles drummer Yer Actual Ringo Starr on the side of the building. The pub, on High Park Street, is located close to the childhood home of Ringo. Joe McCarthy, one of the owners of Inservice Property Group, said that the plan is to make the upstairs of the building a hotel and downstairs into 'a Be-Atles-themed gift shop.' Because, of course, there aren't any of those in Liverpool already.
Meanwhile, here is the first in a new, semi-regular, From The North feature, Great Rock And/Or Roll-Related Adverts Of Our Time. Number one: Sony Hi-Fi Components.
Following the recent announcement of the release of new recordings by From The North favourites Tears For Fears and The Cure, the reunited Soft Cell - singer Marc Almond and instrumentalist Dave Ball - will also be releasing their first new CD in twenty years in May. But, before that, the duo announced this week that they have teamed-up with another particular From The North favourite, The Pet Shop Boys, to rework one of the songs on the new record. The first collaboration between the two acclaimed synthpop duos will be released 22 March in the form of 'Purple Zone', a song that will appear in a different form on Soft Cell's forthcoming reunion CD, Happiness Not Included, which is due out on 6 May. The duo also performed the song at their series of UK shows last November. The Soft Cell-written 'Purple Zone' has been turned into a duet with vocals by Almond and Neil Tennant, with produced by Ball and The Pet Shop Boys.
So, dear From The North bloggerisationisms reader, you're - perhaps - wondering about the on-going saga of yer actual Keith Telly Topping's much whinged-about health and well-being. Though, truth be told, this blogger is not so self-assured as to take such interest from you lot for granted. Nevertheless, he's going to tell you anyway, whether you want to hear it or not. When this blog was last updated, this blogger had just had four of his six B-12 injections designed to, at the very least, make him squeal like a girl when Sister Karen stuck the needle in his arm. Which, of course, he did. It was quite a sight. After the prickage, this blogger had a really nice and informative chat with Sister Karen about the full implications of the diagnosed anaemia. She said it was/is a jolly serious condition but, like diabetes (which, of course, this blogger also has), it can be controlled and medicated and at least we seem to have caught this quite early in the cycle. This blogger will be on a regime of B-12 booster shots about every three months probably for life. Sister Karen said that different anaemias have different causes, some are age, blood or iron-related but this one, which comes under the - really rather sinister-sounding - heading of 'Pernicious Anaemia' is usually more to do with either some previously undetected gastric problem (possible, in this blogger's case) or, more likely, are somehow diet-connected. The question of why it suddenly reared its ugly head sometime around the turn of this year remains, as yet, to be determined.
Since this blogger had purchased a Day Rider bus pass that day to attend the medical centre, he caught the Thirty Nine up to Morrisons, did some necessary shopping and, finished off the morning with - if Truman Captoe, Audrey Hepburn and Deep Blue Something will allow - Breakfast At Morrisons. Scrambled egg, a pork sausage, some buttered toast and hot pot of milky tea. Needless to say, he really deserved that. Though the egg was a bit rich for this blogger's tastes and he left some, he polished off the rest with relative ease - something which, a fortnight ago, he would have properly struggled with.
Since one or two people have asked - seemingly, they couldn't even be bothered to Google the subject - 'Pernicious Anaemia' is the cover-all category into which both B-12 Deficiency Anaemia and Folate Deficiency Anaemia fall (this blogger definitely has the former and, possibly, the latter too. Well, you know, why do things by half?!) It is classified as an autoimmune complaint. The symptoms of Pernicious Anemia may include extreme tiredness and fatigue (this blogger has got that), lethargy and a general lack of energy (got that), an occasional shortness of breath (got that), a rapid heart rate (got that), jaundice or pallor (got that, though it has improved a fraction over the last few days), tingling and numbness of hands and feet, including pins and needles (got that), a loss of appetite (had that, am recovering, slowly - see below), weight loss (had a significant shitload of that as mentioned previously), diarrhoea (had more than he wishes to go into of that), unsteadiness or dizziness when walking (got that), light-headedness (got that), feeling faint (had that once, so far), sore or sensitive tongue (got that), headaches (got that), nausea (haven't had that, thankfully), bleeding gums (haven't had that), impaired sense of smell (haven't had that), hearing sounds coming from inside the body rather than from an outside source (haven't had that), irritability (always have that, even before all this malarkey kicked-off), depression (ditto) and confusion (sorry, does this blogger know you?)
Two days later, this blogger received his last B-12 prickage until June. Like the previous five, it damn-well hurt like jimbuggery. This blogger mentioned to Sister Karen that, apart from a somewhat recovered appetite (see below) and a slight slackening in the explosive diarrhoea department, this blogger still feels pretty grotty (though nowhere near as grotty as he did the day he went into hospital and definitely not as grotty as those dead grotty shirts George Harrison is given to model in A Hard Day's Night). She said that will change - though no time-frame was offered or, indeed, asked for since this blogger is no believer in instant miracles. She added that Keith Telly Topping should just to be patient (or, indeed, a patient. For patience is a virtue, they reckon) and get some, much-needed, rest. This blogger has received his appointments for his next session with Doctor Nasir (Monday 28 March), his first out-patient visit to the RVI hospital for more tests (Tuesday 29 March) and his next diabetes eye-test (Wednesday 30 March). So, that's going to be a fun-filled, medically-charged week. This blogger is particularly looking forward to the last of these where they squirt nasty stingy stuff in ones eyes to make the pupils dilate and one feels just like Malcolm McDowell in A Clockwork Orange.
This blogger got home that Thursday feeling properly exhausted, though at least all the flowers outside The Stately Telly Topping Manor Plague House seemed to be in full bloom. That cheered this blogger up, enormously. It seems this rotten, sick-causing, bone-chilling winter in, finally, coming towards its inevitable end. Glad to see the back of it.
Speaking of this blogger's - marginally - increased appetite, dear blog reader, exactly how much do you reckon yer actual Keith Telly Topping really deserved this tasty bowl of garlic egg fried rice with chicken and sweetcorn soup? This blogger is going to venture 'quite a lot.' And, he'd be entirely correct in that assertion.
This old favourite - curry, boiled rice and chips - has been one which, due to the B-12 Deficiency suppressed appetite this blogger has been suffering from, he hasn't been able to enjoy for the last few months, at least. So, you can absolutely guarantee that he really deserved this. And he finished it. Just, about.
And, this Italian-style ham, mushroom and mascarpone flatbread pizza for us dinner at The Stately Telly Topping Manor Plague House on Thursday was a legacy of that day's trip back from the medical centre (and, his final prickage). Proving that even the nasty things in life can have unexpectedly nicer side-effects. Does this blogger need to inform you, dear blog reader, that it was, in fact, geet lush? Of course he doesn't.
This blogger has never been a big fan of evening food-shopping - ie. any time after 6pm, particularly on Saturdays - mainly because the shelves are usually virtually empty by that stage but, also, because of the absolute numpties one tends to get stuck behind in a queue who always seem to want to ague the toss about whether their two-months-out-of-date five-pence-off coupon is valid or not. But, a soon-to-be-lack of milk and bread at The Stately Telly Topping Manor Plague House forced this blogger to limp (slowly) down ALDI. It did prove to be worth it, though, if only for comedy value. Sure enough, as expected, this blogger found himself in a queue behind some chap with about six items, one of which was a six-pack of beer, the rest, seemingly, various items of fruit. A healthy balanced diet, no doubt. He was paying by credit or debit card but, for some reason, the ALDI computer didn't like it (probably, and this blogger is guessing here, a lack of funds in his account to pay for these items). So, after about four attempts, by which time the whole queue which had formed behind him was starting to get really pissed off, he dug into his pocket and pulled out what this blogger assumes was all the money he had in the world; about half-a-dozen pound coins and some loose change. The cost of his purchase was, of course, more than this - about seven quid. He looked at the beer, looked at the fruit and, sheepishly, pushed back a bunch of five bananas to the cashier. 'I won't bother with these' he said. Almost despite themselves, the entire queue started suppressing sniggers (this blogger, he is ashamed to say, very much included), though it didn't go unnoticed that no kind Samaritan offered to give him the fifty or seventy pee (or whatever) so he could keep his bananas to go with his beer. 'That was entertaining' this blogger told the cashier when it was his turn at the till. 'Happens every Saturday' he replied, wearily. 'He always hands back the bananas!'
From The North favourite(s) film critic Mark Kermode and radio presenter Simon Mayo are to leave their long-running Friday film review programme on Radio 5Live. The pair have presented the show on the network for twenty one years - and, before, that worked together on Radio 1 - but their last programme will be broadcast on Friday 1 April. It has not yet been announced who will replace them - though, whomsoever it is, this blogger will not be listening - nor whether the duo plan to take the format to another station. But Simon, who also presents a show on Greatest Hits Radio, indicated that the pair would return elsewhere. The Gruniad Morning Star (infamously, the only newspaper - apart from Fangoria - that Kermode claims to read) certainly seems to believe that'll be the case. So that, at least, in good news. 'After twenty one years (and as many drummers), the Flagship Film Show Wittertainment will make its final 5Live voyage on 1 April,' he tweeted. 'But, like [Spinal] Tap, we'll be back ... Stay tuned.' In an official statement, the pair made clear that the decision to leave was their own. Speaking on Friday's programme, Mayo added: 'We are way too expensive and there are better things for the BBC to be spending their money on.' Kermode will continue to present Screenshot alongside Ellen Jones on Radio 4 and his regular film review on the BBC News Channel. The BBC said 5Live Drive would move an hour earlier, to 4pm, following Kermode and Mayo's departure, with announcements on other schedule changes to 'follow in due course.' In recent weeks, Kermode & Mayo's Film Review has been slightly shorter, while the Drive programme has started earlier, to allow for coverage of Russia's invasion of Ukraine. Over the years, the film review show has curated a roster of guest hosts who deliver their verdicts on the week's new releases when Kermode and Mayo are on holiday. Recent stand-ins include the Torygraph's Robbie Collin, Radio 1's Ali Plumb, writer and critic Anna Bogutskaya, broadcaster Edith Bowman and actor Rufus Jones. None of whom can hold a candle to Mark and Simon and are, frankly, unlistenable - especially That Awful Bowman Woman with her shrill voice which makes this blogger want to do unspeakable things to his ears rather than listen to her. Simon also used to present a show on Radio 2, but exited the station in 2018 after a revamped drivetime show he co-hosted with Jo Whiley proved unpopular with - tone-deaf - listeners. He continued to co-host the weekly 5Live film show with Kermode after leaving Radio 2, but also took a new role with media giant Bauer, presenting shows on its classical station Scala Radio and the popular music station Greatest Hits Radio. Kermode & Mayo's Film Review, known to regular listeners as Wittertainment, developed a loyal following over two decades - including this blogger. In addition to its popularity on 5Live, the show also attracts a healthy audience to its extended podcasts. Radio 5Live's controller, Heidi Dawson, said: 'Mark and Simon's unique partnership has been an important part of BBC Radio 5Live for twenty one years. Their decision to end the programme is a sad moment; they will be much missed by our listeners and everyone at the station.' Kermode and Mayo's departure follows the exits of several high-profile BBC figures, many of whom are taking their programmes to the commercial sector. Emily Maitlis and Jon Sopel, presenters of another From The North favourite, Americast, have joined Global for a new show, while The Peter Crouch Podcast is moving from the BBC to podcast company Acast.
A guitar owned by a famous Jazz singer who became the BBC's first black star, is being auctioned. Adelaide Hall worked with artists such as Duke Ellington and was one of the first women of colour seen by BBC viewers after the Second World War. Wiltshire auctioneers Gardiner Houlgate expect her 1936 Martin acoustic tenor guitar, to sell for at least five grand. Auctioneer Luke Hobbs said the guitar is 'a direct link to the golden age of jazz. Her life sounds like the script for a film, beginning with the American jazz age, then a career in Paris before becoming one of Britain's most beloved entertainers,' he said. 'She shared bills with Frank Sinatra, Fats Waller, Cab Calloway, Tony Bennett and she sang at Harlem's Cotton Club.' In 1943, the BBC gave Hall her own radio show, Wrapped In Velvet, making her the first black artist to have a long-term contract with the corporation and one of Britain's highest-paid entertainers at the time. Hall, who died in 1993, was also the first black artist to perform in The Royal Variety Performance at London's Victoria Palace theatre in 1951. In addition to working with musician Joe Loss & His Orchestra, she was a guest on Parkinson in 1981. 'Hers is a remarkable story and this guitar was present for much of it,' Hobbs added.
A former Radio 1 DJ has been jailed for twelve years for arranging the sexual abuse of children in The Philippines. Mark Page, of Ingleby Barwick on Teesside, used a webcam to contact victims and travelled to the country. He claimed, unconvincingly, that his devices had been hacked but jurors at Teesside Crown Court weren't buying his bland excuses and found him extremely guilty of four offences on Wednesday. Judge Paul Watson QC said that Page 'targeted vulnerable children' and was 'the very embodiment of depravity.' Page - the self-styled Me-Mark Page - who had a show on Radio 1 in the 1980s and worked as Middlesbrough FC's stadium announcer for twenty years, was found very guilty of four charges of arranging the commission of a child sex offence. The divorced father-of-three was convicted of two counts of abuse by using a webcam linking his home to The Philippines in 2016 and two more of offences while visiting the country in 2016 and 2019. One of his victims, a then thirteen-year-old fatherless waitress who was the eldest of six children, has been traced and now lives in a place of safety, the court heard. The judge said that Page's offences 'involve the grotesque sexual abuse of young children for your own sexual gratification' as he imposed a life-long Sexual Harm Prevention Order on the former broadcaster. This blogger must admit, up-front, he has loathed the noxious Page for decades, an attitude which goes all the way back to the 1980s when Tyne-Tees Television chose to employ Page (as 'a popular local personality') on their early-evening magazine show Northern Life. Page had an intermittent singles review slot and displayed all of the taste and diplomacy of ... well, a future convicted sex-offender, frankly. This blogger remembers, in particular, one incident when the odious Page 'reviewed' The Smiths latest single (this blogger believes it might have been 'Shoplifters Of The World Unite') by tutting dismissively like he was The Sole Arbiter Of The Worth Of All Thing and then throwing the single across the studio like a Frisbee. What a vastly unamusing little man he was, dear blog reader. And now, he's doing a twelve-stretch for his naughty 'shirtlifters of the world' antics. Good. Upon hearing the news of his incarceration, this blogger has to confess he laughed. And, laughed and laughed and laughed until he stopped. And then he laughed some more. It is, of course, to be hoped that Page, as a convicted nonce, is placed in a secure unit so that, for example, no vengeance-seeking old lag could, for example, give him a jolly severe shivving in the shower block. Because that would be terrible (not to mention illegal and wrong). So, let him stew in his cell and contemplate the error of his ways (particularly chucking that Smiths single about on Northern Life like he was the funniest kiddie alive. Which, he wasn't). Enjoy your lack-of-freedom, Marky, you sick and wicked scumbag.
Bakery chain Greggs of Gosforth has warned that its prices could go up for a second time this year as it faces 'surging costs.' Christ, can things possibly get any worse - stotties are already eighty pence, how much do they think hungry Geordies can afford? Higher prices for food, energy and staff, plus tax changes mean the company's own costs will rise by between six and seven per cent the company claimed. The chain, known - outside of a thirty mile radius of its Tyneside home - for its sausage rolls and steak bakes (and, on Tyneside itself, for its magnificent ham-and-pease-pudding stotties), put prices up at the start of the year and it expects 'further changes' to be necessary. The UK cost of living is rising at the fastest pace for thirty years - you may have noticed, dear blog reader. Greggs said the cost of raw materials had gone up while energy prices are 'also soaring.' While it has locked in prices for some commodities ahead of time, the company said future costs remain 'uncertain.' Eighty pence for a stottie, dear blog reader. If it goes up to a quid, this blogger has eaten his last stottie sarnie and that's a fact, no matter how drop-dead gorgeous they are.
The death of former Newcastle United and Everton manager Gordon Lee was announced on Tuesday morning. He was eighty seven. A native of Staffordshire, Lee appeared as a full back for Hednesford Town and Aston Villa - with whom he won a League Cup winner's medal in 1961 - ending his playing career at Shrewsbury Town in 1967 and joining the coaching staff at Gay Meadow soon afterwards. His first managerial position came at Port Vale in 1968, achieving promotion to Division Three two years later before moving on to Blackburn Rovers in 1974. Achieving another promotion - from the Third Division to the Second - at Ewood Park, Lee was chosen as Joe Harvey's successor at Gallowgate in June 1975 - an appointment which failed to inspire players or supporters who had anticipated a higher profile arrival (witness Malcolm Macdonald's infamous 'Gordon who?' response when told by local journalist John Gibson who his new manager was). A 'no stars' policy at St James' Park reached its height when crowd-favourite Macdonald was controversially sold to Arsenal in 1976, but Lee was serenaded by Newcastle fans when his side overcame Spurs to reach the League Cup Final earlier that year, although they narrowly lost to Manchester City at Wembley. They also reached the FA Cup Sixth-Round in the same season. 'People keep on about stars and flair. As far as I'm concerned you find stars in the sky and flair at the bottom of your trousers,' Lee was once quoted as saying. Though he maintained a decent record on Tyneside, his functional, cautious and workmanlike approach to the game and the 'no stars' policy, particularly his decision to sell Supermac, made him unpopular with many supporters. Controversially leaving United for Everton in January 1977 to replace the sacked Billy Bingham - with The Magpies at the time a dizzying third place in the First Division - Lee also had a similarly awkward relationship with Everton's supporters. He remained at Goodison Park until his sacking in May 1981. Later taking charge of Preston North End, Gordon had a spell with Icelandic side KR Reykjavik before a coaching role at Leicester City. He lived in Lytham St Annes following his retirement.
The actress Lynda Baron, best known for her role as Nurse Gladys Emmanuel in BBC sitcom Open All Hours, has died at the age of eighty two. She also appeared in the children's show Come Outside and EastEnders. Her agent said her 'iconic roles' were 'loved by all generations', adding that she was 'a leading light of our world.' Baron was nominated for a BAFTA in 2011 for her role in The Road To Coronation Street, the acclaimed one-off drama about the early days of the soap in which she played the actress Violet Carson. In EastEnders, she was Linda Clarke, the mother of Jane Beale. She also appeared, twice, in Doctor Who (in 1983's Enlightenment and 2011's Closing Time, whilst her association with the BBC's popular, long-running family SF drama goes all the way back to 1966 when she recorded Tristram Cary's song 'The Ballad Of The Last Chance Saloon' for the William Hartnell serial The Gunfighters), Last Of The Summer Wine, Down To Earth, The Upper Hand, dinnerladies, Hammer's Hands Of The Ripper (in which she took one-in-the-eye in the name of socio-realism), Mrs Brown You've Got A Lovely Daughter, Can Heironymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe & Find True Happiness? and Barbra Streisand's Yentl.
Early television roles included appearances in Crossroads, Up Pompeii, Oh No It's Selwyn Froggitt, A Roof Over My Head and Z-Cars. She appeared in BBC3 (1965), a series in the vein of That Was The Week That Was and alternated with Annie Ross as the resident singer on Not So Much a Programme, More A Way Of Life (1965). In 2020, she was in the film Dream Horse. She also featured in Woody Allen's 2006 romantic crime comedy Scoop and 2005's Colour Me Kubrick, about a man who posed as director Stanley Kubrick during production of Eyes Wide Shut. In 1962, Baron married hairdresser and music impresario Cyril Smith; they later divorced. In 1966, she married John Lee. The couple had two children and were married until his death in 2001.
This blogger urges all dear blog readers to check out Toby Hadoke's obituary for the actor Stewart Bevan (probably best known to dear blog readers as Professor Cliff Jones in The Green Death) in the Gruniad Morning Star this week. It is, as with all of Toby's work, thoughtful, sincere and worthy of your attention.
Whilst this blogger is busy recommending pieces in the Gruniad, Michael Hogan's 'Wow, There's A Lot Of Sex & Swearing': Channel Four's Top-Rated Drama Ever, Thirty Years On about The Camomile Lawn is also worth your time, dear blog reader.
Patrick Lenton's 'If The Apocalypse Comes, Beep Me!': Buffy The Vampire Slayer At Twenty Five - about the TV series which, quite literally, changed this blogger's life and gave him a new career - is also highly recommended. It's been this blogger's experience, when it comes to Buffy-related retrospectives (and, this week in particular, there've been plenty) that the writer either gets what Joss Whedon was trying to do with the series, or they don't and make assumptions based on their own, particular, agenda(s). Lenton, seemingly, gets it. Good for him.
Still on the subject on things recommended, this blogger suggests that any dear blog reader with a bit of time on their hands direct their Interweb browser in the direction of Baby Sea Clowns and check out From The North favourite Alice Levine's Radio 5Live six-part series Sport's Strangest Crimes. In which Nottingham native Alice investigates the bizarre-but-true story of the 2010 takeover of Notts County by the conman Russell King and all of the astounding malarkey which followed. It's quite a tale.
Also highly recommended from the same source are The Sound Of Peaky Blinders, a two-part series about the popular period gangster drama (and From The North favourite)'s spectacular use of music and an episode of the Headliners podcast focusing on the new CD by From The North favourite the Godlike Genius of Johnny Marr.
Letters, photos and a bag belonging to one of the Manchester United star killed in the Munich Air Disaster have sold for more than forty grand. Duncan Edwards and twenty two others were fatally injured when the plane carrying the United team crashed as it took off from the German airport in February 1958. Edwards' fiancée Molly Leech was at his bedside when he died and never parted with his belongings. Her daughters had put them up for sale following her death. The collection included Edwards' overnight bag which was pulled from the wreckage of the disaster, football programmes, letters to his fiancée and letters from well-wishers and photographs. Edwards' family album with photos from his Manchester United and England football career, as well as some from his national service, were bought by a UK-based private collector for twelve thousand four hundred smackers. A get well card from Manchester United teammate and Munich survivor Bobby Charlton to Molly sold for over ten thousand knicker and Edwards' overnight bag fetched six thousand eight hundred quid. A group of personal items and memorabilia linked to Molly's travel to Munich after the crash was bought by a collector for five thousand four hundred and fifty six smackers. Religious medals sent to Molly by well-wishers and a life insurance policy taken out by Edwards less than three months before his death were also sold. Edwards, who was born in Dudley in the West Midlands, already had eighteen caps for England and was tipped as a future captain of his country when he died at the age of just twenty one. He was part of the United team nicknamed The Busby Babes, a title which honoured both their youthful achievements and their legendary manager, Sir Matt Busby.
Scientists have found and filmed one of the greatest ever undiscovered shipwrecks one hundred and seven years after it sank. The Endurance, the lost vessel of Antarctic explorer Sir Ernest Shackleton, was found at the weekend at the bottom of The Weddell Sea. The ship was crushed by sea-ice and sank in 1915, forcing Shackleton and his men to make an astonishing escape on foot and in small boats. Video of the remains show Endurance to be in remarkable - albeit, somewhat soggy - condition. Even though it has been sitting in three kilometres of water for over a century, it looks just like it did on the November day it went down. Its timbers, although disrupted, are still very much together and the name - Endurance - is clearly visible on the stern. 'Without any exaggeration this is the finest wooden shipwreck I have ever seen - by far,' said marine archaeologist Mensun Bound, who is on the discovery expedition and has now fulfilled a dream ambition in his near fifty-year career. 'It is upright, well proud of the seabed, intact and in a brilliant state of preservation,' he told BBC News. The story of Shackleton's Imperial Trans-Antarctic Expedition is a truly remarkable one. It set out to make the first land-crossing of Antarctica, but had to abandon the quest when the expedition ship was trapped and then holed by sea-ice. From then on it was all about survival. Shackleton somehow managed to get all of his men to safety, an escape which saw the Anglo-Irish explorer himself take a small lifeboat across ferocious South Atlantic seas to get help.
A clearer picture of Scotland's largest Roman fort is expected to emerge after hi-tech geophysical surveys in The Borders. Which, no doubt, rather scared the locals who believed it was witchcraft. Some of the country's leading historical surveyors have descended on Trimontium, near Melrose, to use the very latest in ground penetrating radar. It is the first time the equipment, which was used recently at Stonehenge as well as at Viking ship burial sites in Norway, has been used at a Roman site in Scotland. A fort was first built by the invading Roman army at the site beneath the Eildon Hills in about 79AD when they marched into Southern Scotland looking, it must be said, really hard. It grew in size and importance to support a population of up to three thousand armed-to-the-teeth Centurions. Trimontium's fortunes, however, mirrored that of Rome's expansion North of Hadrian's Wall in the late First and early Second Centuries AD and the later retreat with the fort finally being deserted for good around 180AD. The fort was only rediscovered in 1846 during the construction of a nearby railway. Following several Twentieth Century archaeological explorations and surveys - particularly a major five-year dig between 1905 and 1910 - the size and significance of Trimontium has emerged. Experts believe that the latest survey on the scheduled site, which is conducted with permission from several heritage bodies, will lead to an even clearer picture of the fort being available for future studies. Among the key objectives of the surveys is to pinpoint the exact location of the bath-house and principia (the principal's building). The high-resolution images that the radar will produce could also lead to other discoveries. Geophysics expert James Adcock, who has worked on over eighty Time Team programmes, is excited by what will emerge. He said: 'It is very rare that we get onto sites of this status. Being able to tie everything onto one model is very important for us. Pinning down what has been done before, along with this cutting-edge technology survey, allows us to see Trimontium in a level of detail never experienced before.' A community aspect has been added to the surveys, with volunteers being trained in using geophysics and analysing the results.
Sam Ryder (no, me neither) will, reportedly, represent the United Kingdom at this year's Eurovision Song Contest in Turin. And, like as not, come last. He is, apparently, 'one of the UK's most followed singers on TikTok' (whatever that is), with twelve million fans on the app and will perform his song 'Space Man' at May's grand final. 'I love Eurovision. I think it's such a privilege to be able to do it,' he told Radio 1 Newsbeat. Last year's contest in Rotterdam was won by Italian rock group Måneskin. James Newman's entry for Britain, 'Embers' received the dreaded 'nul points' whilst Michael Rice also came last for Britain in 2019 with ballad 'Bigger Than Us'. Which, seemingly, it wasn't.
The director of Disney hit Encanto, Jared Bush, has invited a schoolgirl who wrote a letter to Disney asking them to create a character with spectacles to join him at the BAFTA film awards. Lowri, from Chilwell in Nottinghamshire, had written to Disney in 2019 asking for more characters that looked like her. Lowri previously said it was 'crazy' someone at Disney had not only seen her letter but actually acted upon its suggestion. The shocked - and stunned - twelve-year-old struggled to speak after receiving the invite and nodded vigorously before BBC Breakfast presenter Jon Kay stepped in and said: 'I think that is a yes.' It was all rather charming and certainly a decent alternative to the standard diet of news about, you know, murder, rape, war crimes and Moscow Chelski Frozen Assets fans whinging about the manifest unfairness of life. The awards ceremony itself take place on Sunday at London's Royal Albert Hall.
The newly re-established Hammer Studios has acquired the UK rights for B Good Picture Company's Doctor Jekyll. In November 2021, the UK's Network Distributing sealed a deal with the iconic British horror label Hammer Films to form Hammer Studios Ltd. Doctor Jekyll, directed by Joe Stephenson and currently shooting in Britain, will be the first film to be released by the newly formed studio. In the movie, a modern interpretation of Robert Louis Stevenson's 1886 novella The Strange Case of Doctor Jekyll & Mister Hyde, From The North favourite Eddie Izzard her very self plays Doctor Nina Jekyll, a recluse who finds friendship with her newly hired help, Rob, played by Scott Chambers and they must work together to prevent Jekyll's alter-ego, Hyde, from destroying her life. The screenplay is by first time writer Dan Kelly-Mulhern.
Interviews to select the new chair of Ofcom - a politically-appointed quango, elected by no one - are reportedly due to start next week after the government admitted it had finally 'exhausted' the hunt for potential candidates, almost two years after the process began. The search to replace Terry Burns at the telecoms, media and postal regulator started in early 2020 when Lord Burns announced he was to stand down and a successor was expected to be found by the end of that year, after the appointment of Melanie Dawes as Ofcom's new chief executive. However, the process has been dogged by delays after Boris Johnson's unsuccessful attempt to install that odious puddle of scum Paul Dacre to push a more sick right-wing agenda at the body. The former editor of the Daily Scum Mail unexpectedly failed the interview process the first time around. Because, no one likes him because he's scum. Ministers cleared the way for him to try again, only for the vile rascal Dacre to withdraw his application. The government had to abandon its cunning plan and restart the process and the 'partygate' investigator and Whitehall fixer Sue Gray was put in charge of the interview panel. On Monday Julian Knight, the chair of the digital, culture, media and sport committee - who has called the process 'a shambles' - said that the government had refused to tell him how many applications had been received and how many candidates were being considered for the shortlist. 'Another week, another new instalment of suspense in the ridiculous soap opera that is the race to become Ofcom's new chair,' he whinged to the Gruniad Morning Star. 'The committee is not after a behind-the-scenes commentary on the appointment process, but this latest cliffhanger from the DCMS department - which cannot or will not even tell us how many people have applied to audition for the starring role - does make you wonder whether we are heading for a happy ending.' In a letter of response, the permanent secretary at the DCMS, Sarah Healey, told Knight that the government 'did not want to increase speculation on the process' and aimed to 'minimise media speculation.' Which, given the amount of column inches that one statement generated, looks to have failed. 'We will not be providing a running commentary on candidate numbers,' she haughtily said, adding that this information would be made public 'as part of the successful candidate’s pre-appointment hearing.' The government's second run at appointing full-of-his-own-importance shit Dacre with a new-look interview panel came unstuck in December when he unexpectedly pulled out of the process, days later announcing he had taken a new role back at the publisher of the Daily Scum Mail. In January the government reopened applications again for a week, closing on 2 February and the former ITV, Channel Four and BBC executive Michael Grade said that he had thrown his 'hat in the ring.' On Monday Healey claimed the re-opening for one more round of applications was 'to make sure that all potential candidates had been given a chance to apply,' given the Christmas break and the recruitment advisers Saxton Bampfylde had 'done all possible outreach. We are now confident that we have exhausted all possible opportunities to ensure the breadth and diversity of the candidate pool,' she claimed. One or two people even believed her. 'The campaign is progressing to interviews over the coming week. And we hope to be able to announce a preferred candidate in the near future.' Knight said: 'Anyone who has been following this long drawn-out saga will know that feeling of exhaustion all too well.'
Rush To Recruit Police Officers Risks Hiring Racists & Criminals, Warns Watchdog according to a headline in the Gruniad. So, no change there, then.
The From The North Headline Of The Week award, however, goes to the Gloucestershire Live website for their utterly unbeatable 'I'm Off To Get My Pitchfork': The Full Story Of Gloucestershire's Near-Naked Attacker. Which has the bonus of being, no only a wee-in-yer-own-pants-funny headline but a fascinating, disturbing and, ultimately, wee-in-yer-own-pants-funny read, too.
Although, let it be noted, the Atlanta News Media website's Indiana Egg Farmer Transported To Hospital With A Live Adult Chicken Stuck In His Rectal Cavity gave Gloucestershire Live a jolly good run for their money.
As mentioned in the last From The North bloggerisationism update, in the days immediately after this blogger came out of hospital and whilst he was actively - and publicly - questioning the future of this blog for a few days the daily traffic on From The North fell through the floor. From a regular average of around three-to-four thousand daily hits, we dropped as low as one hundred and twenty on one day as many regular and semi-regular dear blog readers appeared to chalk From The North off their radar. Then, something very strange happened over that subsequent weekend; for no obvious reason, we got our audience back - and then, increased it. Over the last few days From The North has been getting well over five thousand page daily hits and, on Friday, we made six thousand. This is a definite example of 'I will not celebrate meaningless milestones', admittedly, but this blogger can't say he isn't touched that From The North's readership has, seemingly, spoken. It appears you guys want From The North around. Who is this blogger to argue with that?
And finally, dear blog readers, yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (and now, thankfully, sellable) Magpies manager Eddie Howe says that Bruno Guimarães Rodriguez Moura is 'capable of the unexpected' after the Brazilian scored a spectacular winner on his full debut for Th' Toon to defeated Southampton and stretch The Magpies' unbeaten Premier League run to nine matches. Guimarães Rodriguez Moura, who was making his first start since joining the club from Lyon in January, sent a powerful back-heel volley into the roof of the net to earn the visitors a sixth victory in seven league games. 'I have to say, I haven't seen too much of that, back-heeling the ball in from that range,' Steady Eddie - fast, himself, becoming a highly respected figure on Tyneside - said afterwards. 'The goal was something we probably didn't expect from him but shows his technical ability. He is going to be an 'uge player for us.' The Saints had taken a twenty fifth-minute lead when Stuart Armstrong headed home Mohamed Elyounoussi's knock-back via a deflection off Dan Burn. But Newcastle, who were without both Allan Saint-Maximin and Joelinton on the South coast, equalised seven minutes later courtesy of Chris Wood's first goal for the club, the New Zealand striker - another January signing from relegation-haunted Burnley - powering Jonjo Shelvey's inswinging cross past the stranded Fraser Forster. Che Adams rattled the crossbar with a thunderous first-half volley and Martin Dubravka was the busier of the two goalkeepers late on, but Guimarães Rodriguez Moura's superb strike from Burn's cushioned header ultimately proved decisive. 'I thought it was "welcome to the Premier League" for Bruno - an end-to-end game, high in transitions and very physical,' added Howe. 'It will be a really good experience for him. He's a defensive midfielder, but a creative one. The reason we signed him was because we loved his way of playing, his eye for a pass and composure.' Newcastle were three points adrift from safety following a four-nil home defeat to Sheikh Yer Man City in late December, but are now in fourteenth place and ten points clear of third-bottom Burnley, a run which has led to Howe being named the Premier League's Manager Of The Month for February. They are also just four points away from Southampton, who slipped to only their second home defeat of the season. In the eight games since being knocked out of the FA Cup by Cambridge, The Magpies have won six (including victories over the likes of Leeds United, Everton and Brentford) and drawn the other two. They have the second best current form record in the Premier League behind only Liverpool.
Reluctant to destabilise a team which has yet to lose in the Premier League in 2022, Howe had exercised caution with Guimaraes prior to Thursday's visit to St Mary's, restricting the January signing to just forty one minutes across five cameo substitute appearances. The Brazil international was brought into the side in place of his in-form countryman Joelinton, who was ruled out with a groin problem but could recover in time to feature against Moscow Chelski Frozen Assets on Sunday. United were alsdo without long-term injury victims Kieran Trippier and Callum Wilson as well as Saint-Maximin. Operating next to Shelvey in central midfield, Guimarães Rodriguez Moura registered the game's first attempt on goal - a long-range drive that was blocked - and almost set up Joe Willock for a Magpies' second, late in the first half. But the twenty four-year-old's most important contribution came seven minutes after half-time, when he beat Forster with an outrageous back-heal flick that combined power, precision and sheer audacity. Understandably perhaps, Guimarães Rodriguez Moura somewhat an out of steam midway through the second-half but was given a rapturous reception by the travelling Newcastle fans when he was replaced by Sean Longstaff. Like Brighton & Hove Albinos at St James' Park on Saturday, The Saints enjoyed the majority of possession but failed to trouble Dubravka anywhere near enough until the latter stages of the contest. A Tino Livramento cross-shot almost caught out The Magpies goalkeeper as the game entered the final quarter of an hour, but the Slovakia international was able to prevent the ball from dipping underneath the crossbar. Dubravka was also called into action again from the resulting corner, denying fit-again Mohammed Salisu with a smart intervention, before producing arguably his best save of the match to stop another Salisu header from creeping in at the far post. Armstrong also had a dipping effort tipped over by Dubravka deep into stoppage time as Newcastle held out to take another huge step towards safety. Hopefully the identity of the two United scorers will have spectacularly irked mouthy Southampton boss Ralph Hasenhuttl, who had made some extremely inadvisable comments about new signings when this game was initially postponed - due to Covid - at the turn of the year. Obviously trying to make a similar point to the visiting supporters, the stadium DJ played a sequence of records with a financial theme, beginning with 'Dirty Cash'. This brought to mind an equally unfunny set of tunes featuring an optical theme played by Me-Mark Page at Middlesbrough in 2004 after the Newcastle training ground had been closed due to an outbreak of conjunctivitis. That, incidentally, was the very same Mark Page who was handed, on the same day as United's win at Southampton, a twelve year stretch in The Slammer for his sick and sordid child sex offences (see above) and who was, probably, at that very moment in the process of spending his first night in The Joint, slopping out. It's funny how things work out in the long-run, dear blog reader, is it not?
