Welcome you all are, dearest blog reader, to the latest From The North bloggerisationism update. With a suitably appropriate, 'still, it could be worse' image to kick us off.
With that malarkey out of the way, dear blog reader, From The North favourite Neil Gaiman has, of course, been a long-time Doctor Who fan. Everyone knew that (especially as Neil his very self has mentioned the fact often enough). Now the Good Omens and The Sandman creator has revealed exactly which episode it was that made him fall in love with the BBC's popular, long-running family SF drama in the first place. Neil - who wrote the Doctor Who episodes The Doctor's Wife and Nightmare In Silver in 2011 and 2013 respectively - explained on Twitter that it was the last Doctor Who episode of the 1960s, the tenth and final episode of The War Games which had captivated him as a child. 'It unpeeled my mind and left me in love with the infinite possibilities inherent in the story,' he wrote. 'Twenty first of June 1969. I was eight.'
For what it's worth, dear blog reader, this blogger - three years younger than Neil at the time (and, indeed, still), but already a regular Doctor Who viewer for the previous year - also has vivid and specific memories of watching that particular episode at The (first) Stately Telly Topping Manor. In particular, crying at the end of the episode because The Doctor was, clearly, dying. But, of course, he didn't. He just turned into Mister Pertwee instead.
Of course, dear blog reader, Keith Telly Topping could write a book about his memories of watching Doctor Who during the 1968-69 period. In fact, he already has. That, it would seem, is what being exposed to Fury From The Deep, The Wheel In Space, The Evil Of The Daleks, The Mind Robber, The Invasion and The Seeds Of Death as a four-to-five year old does to the average viewer. Well, that's what it did to this blogger, anyway.
That is this blogger's excuse, dear blog reader, and he's totally sticking to it.
Steve O'Brien's Radio Times opinion-piece Colourising Classic Doctor Who Shouldn't Be Sacrilege is worthy of a few moments of your attention, dear blog reader. It can be read here. '1960s black and white Doctor Who isn't Nosferatu or Citizen Kane - it never won gongs for its dynamic expressionist cinematography. Is it really so profane to present it as the camera crew of 1963 saw William Hartnell and co? It's simply an alternative way of looking at the show and, providing the BBC don't do a George Lucas and squirrel the original away, that can only be a good thing, right?'
The Cultbox website includes a piece on the Doctor Who production team recently filming with Aneurin Barnard at Cardiff City Stadium. Which was, of course, taking place whilst usual occupants of the gaff, The Bluebirds, were away and busy getting a right spanking off Dirty Leeds in the FA Cup.
Of course, Doctor Who filming in Welsh Wales these days is pretty much an every day occurrence. That was not always the case, as the Nation Cymru website explains, here.
There is a splendid article by yer actual Big Rusty Davies in the Gruniad Morning Star on the other great TV love of his life besides Doctor Who, Crossroads.
On a similar theme, check out a terrific interview with From The North favourite Patton Oswalt, also in the Gruniad Morning Star, 'I'd Rather Be Doctor Who Than James Bond: Less Having To Take Your Shirt Off'.
All of which, dear blog reader, inevitably leads us to ... Memorably Daft Double-Entendres In Episodes Of Doctor Whom (1963-2022). Number Seventy One: Fury From The Deep.
Memorably Daft Double-Entendres In Episodes Of Doctor Whom (1963-2022). Number Seventy Two: The Sea Devils.
Memorably Daft Double-Entendres In Episodes Of Doctor Whom (1963-2022). Number Seventy Three: The Witchfinders.
Memorably Daft Double-Entendres In Episodes Of Doctor Whom (1963-2022). Number Seventy Four: Vincent & The Doctor.
Because, as wisely noted in Inferno ...
Memorably Daft Double-Entendres In Episodes Of Doctor Whom (1963-2022). Number Seventy Five: The Romans.
Fifty years before Nigella (she has her knockers) was to be found, ahem, 'poking around in her pantry' in a seemingly desperate search of food pornography, Miss Barbara Wright was, if you will, at it.
Memorably Daft Double-Entendres In Episodes Of Doctor Whom (1963-2022). Number Seventy Six: The Unquiet Dead. In which The Doctor gives Mister Dickens a precise little essay on fandom and all its funny ways ...
Memorably Daft Double-Entendres In Episodes Of Doctor Whom (1963-2022). Number Seventy Seven: Oh, is that what they call it these days? Human Nature.
From The North favourite Mason Alexander Park, who plays Desire in From The North favourite The Sandman (you knew that, right?), has confirmed that Netflix is planning to start the production of the second series (or, 'the continuation' or whatever else they're calling it this week) this coming summer. During an interview video posted on Twitter, Park gave fans an update regarding the development of the next batch of Sandman episodes. 'There's more Sandman coming in a really cool way and it can take many forms,' Park revealed. 'We're starting shooting in the summer and we’re gonna tackle the next huge chunk of stories in however long that might take.'
There are, dear blog reader, many movies and TV series which are concerned with people trying to survive in the aftermath of The Zombie Apocalypse. This blogger has always thought that's all just a shade too much like hard work, frankly. Isn't much easier just to get bitten and then try to change the system from within? Less zombies have to die that way for a kick-off.
And now, dear blog reader, a new semi-regular From The North feature. Photos From Newspapers Which Include The Caption ' ... Before Turning The Gun On Himself.' Number one.
Here's a necessary something which is well-worth reflecting upon when times look particularly black, dear blog reader.
And, I think we can all get behind that. This week saw the annual Blue Monday. So, in recognition of that, dear blog reader, here is The News.
One of this blogger beast fiends, meanwhile, attempted to convince Keith Telly Topping that, actually, Blue Monday isn't even a real thing already. Au contraire, mon petit fromage replied this blogger (only, you know, in English). It definitely is a thing. It had a FAC number and everything.
The Blondie reunion tour line-up, admittedly, has come as something of a surprise to many fans.
To fitba now, dear blog reader and something of an age-old truism, 'what a difference a year makes.' Particularly in the case of this blogger's beloved (and now, thankfully, sold) Magpies once the new owners decided to put someone vaguely competent in charge of first team affairs. Now, why didn't someone think of that sooner, one wonders?
That absolute twenty four carat fraud Mister Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him nasty) has been in the media a lot over the last week, doing his usual trick of making big, almost completely unsubstantiated, claims about his distinctly average, journeyman managerial career of twenty five years and no trophies; see, for instance, here and here and here. Just a couple of weeks ago he was also, reportedly, according to unnamed (and, therefore almost certainly fictitious) 'sources', briefly in-line for another job. That was before the club in question, showed some common sense and wisely opted to appoint David Wagner instead. Before that, however, we had the thigh-slappingly hilarious Norwich City Fans Now Living In Fear As Steve Bruce Tipped To Fill Managerial Vacancy headline in The Mag. Meanwhile, the Daily Scum Mail has claimed that Steve Bruce Is Set To Retire From Management Following A Twenty Five-Year Career That Has Seen Him Take Charge Of Eleven Clubs. This blogger feels this suggestion will come as a considerable surprise to supporters of, let's see, Sheffield United, Huddersfield Town, Crystal Palace, The Mackem Filth, Aston Villains, Sheffield Wednesday, this blogger's beloved (and now, thankfully, sold) Newcastle United and, most recently, West Bromwich Albinos. All of whom, it could be argued, believed that Mister Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him nasty) had already retired whilst he was supposed to be (mis)managing them.
Meanwhile, the second-to-most-recent club that Mister Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him nasty) left in such utter, abject chaos a mere fourteen months ago don't seem to be doing too badly without him.
And, neither do West Brom, for that matter!
Gary Lineker had to summon every ounce of professionalism as the BBC's live coverage of the FA Cup clash between Wolverhampton Wanderings and the Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws was disrupted, apparently, by noises of The Sex. The BBC presenter was previewing the Third-Round replay in a studio at Molineux alongside pundits Paul Ince and Danny Murphy when 'awkward and audible pornographic wails' broke out in the background. Lineker looked 'momentarily startled' by what was happening and struggled to keep a straight face as he cut to Wor Geet Canny Alan Shearer who was up in the commentary gantry. Big Al added: 'See what happens when I leave the studio? Chaos!' But Lineker pressed on, laughing off the incident as the sexy noise continued. 'Somebody's sending something on someone's phone, I think. I don't know whether you heard it at home.' Oh yes we did, Gary!
Needless to say, the incident did not go unnoticed on social media. This was the most perceptive comment - by several million miles!
The BBC subsequently apologised to viewers for the incident though, why they did that when they, themselves, had been the victims of this prank, is unknown. Gary later appeared on Newsnight to speak about the prank and said, rightly, that the BBC have nothing to be sorry for. 'If you told me this morning that, tonight, I'd be on Newsnight talking about a porn scandal. I would have been terrified!' 'YouTube prankster' (for which read, some plank you've never heard of) Daniel Jarvis has claimed responsibility for the stunt. Jarvis has previous at being a glake, apparently. He was handed a suspended sentence last October after being convicted of aggravated trespass over an incident in which he collided with England cricketer Jonny Bairstow while invading the Oval pitch during a test match. He was given an eight-week prison sentence suspended for two years and was banned from attending any venue where a sporting fixture is being held in England and Wales for two years. He was also banned from travelling abroad for twelve months and made subject to a rehabilitation activity requirement. Well, that seems to have worked.
Over on BT Sport, in the mean time, there was an intriguing clash. This blogger's money was, most definitely. on the Live Wolves emerging victorious from that particular match-up. Especially as Everton are playing like a bunch of girls at the moment.
All of which bring us, with the tragic inevitability of the tragically inevitable, to that part of From The North dedicated to this blogger's on-going medical malarkey. Or, strictly speaking, malarkeys as there have been and continue to be, several of them. For those dear blog readers who haven't been following this on-going fiasco which appears to have been on-going longer than Doctor Who, it goes like this: Keith Telly Topping spent some weeks around New Year 2022 feeling rotten; experienced five days in hospital; was discharged; received B12 injections; then more injections; somewhat recovered his missing appetite; got an initial diagnosis; had a consultant's meeting; continued to suffer fatigue and insomnia; endured a second endoscopy; had another consultation; got (unrelated) toothache; had an extraction; which took ages to heal; had another consultation; spent a week where nothing remotely health-related occurred; was given further B-12 injections; had an echocardiogram; received more blood extractions; made another hospital visit; saw the insomnia and torpor continue; received yet more blood tests; had a rearranged appointment for his sick note; suffered his worst period yet with the fatigue. Until the following week. And, then the week after that. Oh, the fatigue, dear blog reader. The depressing, ceaseless fatigue. He had a go on the Blood-Letting Machine; got another sickie; had an assessment; was given his fourth COVID jab; got some surprising news related to his assessment; had the results of his annual diabetes check-up; had another really bad week with the fatigue; followed by one with the sciatica; then one with the chronic insomnia; and, one with a plethora of general cold-related grottiness. A plethora of general cold-related grottiness that continued over the Christmas period and into the New Year. And then, there was that incident with the bath, the knee and the flooding.
Nothing anywhere near as dramatic as the latter has occurred this week, dear blog reader. In fact, apart from the lingering remnants of the cold virus, there's not much medical to report in relation to this blogger. Nevertheless, the entire week has been one night of disturbed sleep and really disturbing dreams after another. Personally, this blogger blames those Lemsip cold and flu powders for giving him the screaming night terrors.
The film, television and theatre director Piers Haggard has died aged eighty three. Piers began his career in television in the 1960s on series like The Wednesday Play, Thirty Minute Theatre, Callan, Man At The Top and Public Eye before directing Dennis Potter's Pennies From Heaven, starring Bob Hoskins and Cheryl Campbell, in 1978. It won a BAFTA for Most Original Programme and is considered one of the landmarks of British television history. Piers film credits included the cult folk-horror and From The North favourite The Blood On Satan's Claw (1971), Mrs Reinhardt (1981) with Helen Mirren and Marks and Rolling Home (both 1982 in the Alan Bennett's Objects Of Affection strand). He survived the ordeal of being sacked by Peter Sellers on The Fiendish Plot Of Doctor Fu Manchu (1980). As Piers would recall: 'It was a very disagreeable experience on that film. I was brought in on an off-chance. [Sellers] had agreed to do a fairly stock Hollywood comedy thriller, similar to The Pink Panther, playing a detective and a villain. He'd fallen out of love with that project and didn't want to do that script. They said, "Okay, what do you want to do?" and he said, "Let me go off and do a bit of rewriting." So he went off with a Hollywood hack and turned it into a series of Goon Show sketches. The executives were absolutely appalled. They thought, "Oh my God, we thought he had a picture and now we've got a development situation." I knew one of [the [producers], so they said, "Maybe this guy Haggard could do something with this." So I got three weeks' work to supervise a rewrite, which we did. We made Peter's script much more coherent, turned it into something with a bit more of a beginning, middle and end. And they were very pleased with that, so I got the gig. But then, unfortunately, within about two weeks my love affair with Peter Sellers was over but I had to soldier on. I did ... but it was absolutely no fun. Then just towards the end of the shooting he decided, which had been obvious, that either he would go or I would go so they got rid of me. So I was retired and he directed for the last week or so. It was pretty much a disaster from beginning to end.' He also directed the hysterical (in every sense) Venom (1981) and survived the epic clash of personalities between Oliver Reed and Klaus Kinski. Piers's commentary for the movie is full of wit and charm and his description of Ollie and Kinski is genuinely priceless. The former: 'A drunk with a great sense of humour,' the latter: 'A madman with no sense of humour at all!' Piers's CV also included Armchair Theatre, The Rivals Of Sherlock Holmes, The Ruth Rendell Mysteries, Space Precinct, Centrepoint, Cold Enough For Snow, McCready & Daughter, Big Bad World, Love For Lydia, Against The Crowd and Zodiac. At the National Theatre, he directed The Ticket Of Leave Man in 1982. He worked with, among others, Liza Minnelli, Vanessa Redgrave, John Mills, Donald Sutherland and Maximilian Schell. He was a great champion of director's rights, starting The Directors' & Producers' Rights Society in 1987, serving on its board for twenty years and, when the society became Directors UK in 2007, he joined it's board, serving for a further decade. Paying tribute, Alan Parker said: 'No other director has done more for his fellow directors over the last forty years.' Piers was awarded an OBE in 2016 for services to film, television and theatre. Piers was the son of the actor, poet and novelist Stephen Haggard and the great-great-nephew of the writer Sir Henry Rider Haggard, the author of She and King Solomon's Mines. Piers married the artist Anna Sklovsky in 1972; they had two children, the actress Daisy Haggard and architect William Haggard. He also had four children from his first marriage to Christiane Stokes (m 1960), Sarah, Claire, Rachel and Philip, as well as thirteen grandchildren.
Alec Baldwin will be charged with involuntary manslaughter over the shooting of cinematographer Halyna Hutchins, who was killed on a film set when he fired a prop gun. Baldwin had been rehearsing a scene for the Western film Rust when the shooting happened at a ranch near Sante Fe, in October 2021. Hannah Gutierrez Reed, the film's armourer, will also be charged. Lawyers for both said they intended to fight the charges in court. Santa Fe's District Attorney Mary Carmack-Altwies announced the charges on Thursday, adding that they would be filed by the end of the month. 'I have determined that there is sufficient evidence. On my watch, no one is above the law, and everyone deserves justice,' she said. Both face up to eighteen months in The Joint and a five thousand bucks fine if convicted. They will be tried by a jury, prosecutors said. Film director Joel Souza was also wounded in the shooting, but prosecutors said no charges would be filed in connection with that. The film's assistant director David Halls entered a guilty plea to a misdemeanour charge of negligent use of a deadly weapon, prosecutors said. He will spend six months serving probation. In a statement, a lawyer for Ms Hutchins' husband, Matthew, said he supported the filing of the charges. 'It is a comfort to the family that, in New Mexico, no one is above the law,' he said. But Baldwin's lawyer, Luke Nikas, called the decision 'a terrible miscarriage of justice. Mister Baldwin had no reason to believe there was a live bullet in the gun - or anywhere on the movie set,' Nikas whinged.'"He relied on the professionals with whom he worked, who assured him the gun did not have live rounds. We will fight these charges, and we will win.' Ms Hutchins died in hospital shortly after she was shot in the chest by a prop gun fired by Mr Baldwin on set. The incident resulted in accusations of negligence and led to calls for better safety protocols on film sets.
Julian Sands has been reported missing after going hiking in mountains North of Los Angeles. He disappeared last Friday in the Baldy Bowl area during bad weather in the San Gabriel Mountains. Police said that ground rescue teams abandoned their search at the weekend because of avalanche risks, but it was continuing by drone and helicopter. Sands is known for roles in popular films and TV dramas including A Room With A View, 24 and Smallville. His friends have expressed their concerns after his disappearance was confirmed. Samuel West wrote on Twitter: 'Please, please let Julian Sands be okay. A friend and an inspiration. Awful news.' For weeks, California has been battered by deadly storms and a disaster declaration was issued by President Joe Biden. The San Bernardino County Sheriff's department said that when conditions were safer for rescue crews, they would resume the search. It said it had responded to fourteen calls on Mount San Antonio, known locally as Mount Baldy and in the surrounding area over the last four weeks. It warned hikers to 'stay away' from that area. 'It is extremely dangerous and even experienced hikers are getting in trouble,' the department said. They are also searching for another hiker, an American, who went missing in the same mountains. Last week, a mother of four whom friends described as an experienced hiker died after sliding more than five hundred feet down Mount Baldy. Born in Yorkshire, Sands has appeared in dozens of films and TV shows, but it was a lead role in the 1985 British romance A Room With A View that brought him global fame. The father of three most recently appeared in the drama Benediction, which also starred Peter Capaldi.
Promotional images for Jeremy Renner's TV show Mayor Of Kingstown have been edited to remove injuries from the actor's face after his recent accident. Renner was originally shown bloodied and bruised in the artwork for the drama's second series. Co-creator Hugh Dillon said it was 'good of the network' to change it. A snow plough accident left Renner in a critical condition earlier this month. He revealed on Tuesday he has now left hospital and is recovering at home. 'Everybody is sensitive to Jeremy,' Dillon told The Hollywood Reporter. Renner was in a critical but stable condition in hospital after being run over by his own snow plough outside his home in Nevada during blizzards at the start of January. On Tuesday, he wrote on Twitter that he was able to watch the opening episode of the new series of Mayor Of Kingstown. 'Outside my brain fog in recovery, I was very excited to watch episode 201 with my family at home,' he wrote.
The owner of an art gallery in downtown San Francisco was arrested and charged with battery after a video emerged of him spraying a homeless woman with a hose.
A suspect who reportedly escaped from a prison van in just his boxer shorts and socks and evaded police for two days has been nabbed by The Bobbies and sent back to jail. Which, one assumes, he'll be not that upset about given how bloody chilly it's been out this last week.
Candidates for the From The North Headline Of The Week award include the Daily Record's Drunk Woman Steals Forty Five Foot Ferry While Shouting 'I'm Jack Sparrow'.
Sunday World's Woman Who 'Grabbed Garda's Crotch' After She Was Arrested For Drink Driving Is Fined.
The Nottingham Post's Nottinghamshire Chef Blames Speeding Ticket On Potholes After Huge Repair Bill.
The Northern Echo's Spennymoor Woman Orders iPad From Amazon But Gets Dove Soap Delivered.
The Falmouth Packet's Lanner Brown Bin Bandits Caught 'Kidnapping' On CCTV.
And, finally, the winner of this (and indeed, most other) week's award, indy100.com's Raccoon Gets Frozen To Railway Track By Its Testicles As Temperatures Plummet.
