Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Playing Them Bongos, Jolly Badly

Okay, dear blog reader. Settle down at the back and let's start with this.
Well, yer actual Keith Telly Topping is pure dead excited, so he is, I don't know about you lot.

Sherlock's forthcoming third series is yet to be scheduled for US transmission, the president of PBS has confirmed. Paula Kerger told Entertainment Weekly that she was 'monitoring' the BBC's own scheduling decisions before naming a premiere date. 'We haven't yet set the broadcast for Sherlock and we're actually looking very carefully,' she said. 'I don't think the broadcast for the UK [is set] either. But that's a subject of great interest, obviously, because it has a very passionate fan base [so] we'll look at the schedule for Sherlock very carefully.' Kerger added that PBS has 'no hard and fast rule' with regards to airing acquisitions, with some series airing closer to UK transmission than others. 'We'll continue to look at each programme as it comes up and then try to figure out if it makes sense to try to bring it very close to the broadcast window where it is seen everywhere else or does it make sense to schedule it at a different point and time,' she explained. Sherlock's third series is expected to be broadcast on BBC1 either in late 2013 or early 2014.
New Tricks topped Tuesday night's overnight ratings for a second week in a row. However, the long-running BBC1 crime drama dropped over a million punters from previous week's figure to 6.47m at 9pm. On BBC2, new series A Summer in Wales gathered 1.13m (at 7pm, followed by the latest Count Arthur Strong which continues to limp along rather sadly with six hundred and seventy one thousand at 8pm. Possibly someone at the Beeb is now regretting being so quick to commission a second series of the - patchy but occasionally very funny - sitcom which certainly doesn't appear to have found much of an audience yet. Documentary Make Me A German interested 1.22m at 9pm. ITV's new Stephen Fry vehicle Key to the City appealed to 2.89m at 9pm. it was actually quite good fun although, given those viewing figures, I somehow can't see a sequel being commissioned in which Stephen investigates the hidden treasures of, say, Northampton. Nature's Newborns brought in 2.48m (at 7.30pm, while risible Love Your Garden attracted 3.32m at 8pm. On Channel Four, Kirstie Allsopp's Fill Your Home With Crap was seen by 1.46m at 8pm. Undercover Boss continued with 1.26m at 9pm. Channel Five's documentary Kids with No Memory brought in but six hundred and four thousand punters at 8pm. CSI: NY was watched by 1.27m at 9pm.

Hermione Norris and Kevin Doyle are to lead new BBC1 drama The Ark. Oona Chaplin, Suranne Jones and Kerry Fox will play supporting roles in the six-part series, from writer Sarah Phelps. Marking one hundred years since the start of the First World War, The Ark tells the story of a team of doctors, nurses and women volunteers who worked together to heal the bodies and souls of the men wounded in the trenches. 'The emotional and psychological impact World War One had on a generation and beyond has always held a deep fascination for me,' said Norris, who plays hospital matron Grace Carter. 'Sarah Phelps has crafted a compelling script with rich and complex characters who really explore the depth and impact of love and loss in this heroic, yet tragic period in British history.' Suranne Jones added: 'This is my first period drama and I am so excited at the prospect of filming a First World War series set on a frontline hospital. It's an important period in history not just because of the war but because it was a transitional period for women, liberated in some respect but still shackled by the conventions and hierarchies of the past.' Oona Chaplin said: 'In The Ark we follow men and women on their journey of survival, their struggle with meaning and love, and the small victories that mean so much.' The Ark will begin filming later this month for transmission in 2014.

ITV has dropped it thuggish and contemptible bully-boy threats of legal action against Channel Four over its Dispatches sting on several Coronation Street actors. The broadcaster had threatened to sue Channel Four over suggestions that some of the soap's actors had flouted marketing rules by promoting products on Twitter in return for free gifts. ITV said on Wednesday that it intended to 'take no further action' against Channel Four and claimed that Dispatches had dropped a number of 'the most serious and defamatory allegations' from the film, which was broadcast on Monday night. But that allegation was contested by Channel Four, which denied it had made any 'substantial editorial changes' to the programme – Celebs, Brands and Fake Fans – before it went out. Dispatches showed a number of Coronation Street actors being covertly filmed receiving fake beauty products from a fictitious firm set up by film-makers. Some of the actors later tweeted about the products, which included a fake 'mystique spray' and a bottle of toner which contained only tap water. An ITV spokesman said: 'We took legal steps which resulted in Dispatches making changes to its final programme last night – a number of the most serious and defamatory allegations against those featured were not broadcast. If any Coronation Street viewers happened to be watching the last part of this hour-long special they would have seen it for what it was – a stunt.' Details of the show first emerged in June, prompting ITV lawyers to write threateningly to Channel Four warning that airing the claims would land them with a hefty libel action brought by the company and the actors in question. A week before the film was scheduled, ITV's legal director, Andrew Garard, privately accused Channel Four of 'shoddy journalism' in a sharply-worded letter to the broadcaster. A Channel Four spokesman said: 'We firmly stand by our journalism. It is worth noting that our investigation did not set out to target any specific celebrity or broadcaster. As ever, we followed the journalistic trail. Standard right-to-reply procedures were followed, but no substantial editorial changes were made to the structure of the programme.'

PBS is to broadcast BBC1's upcoming drama Death Comes To Pemberley. Jenna Coleman her very self will star in the adaptation of PD James's novel, which brings back characters from Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice for a sequel. In three one-hour episodes, the drama will be a combination of Austen's story and a murder mystery. Matthew Rhys will play Mister Darcy, while Matthew Goode portrays Mister Wickham. Coleman stars as Lydia Wickham. A broadcast date has yet to be revealed, but it will be shown as part of PBS's Masterpiece line-up. Downton Abbey has previously been shown on the network. Penelope Keith, Tom Ward, Joanna Scanlan, Trevor Eve and James Fleet are also in the cast for Death Comes To Pemberley, which is currently filming in Yorkshire.
Sophie Ellis-Bextor has reportedly signed up for the next series of Strictly Come Dancing. The singer is said to have agreed a twenty five thousand smackers deal to appear as a contestant on the BBC series, according to the Sun.

The BBC has revealed the extent to which Sunday's announcement of the next Doctor took over Twitter, with the Corporation counting a total of five hundred and forty two thousand tweets reacting to the news that Peter Capaldi would be taking on the role come Christmas. During the live show, Doctor Who Live; The Next Doctor, the number of tweets averaged nine thousand per minute, jumping to over twenty two thousand a minute as the new Doctor was revealed, the highest TV tweet minute peak recorded this year. This blogger was, actually, on Facebook at the time and it was just as crazy there. The tweet with the first photograph from the official site was re-tweeted over twenty five thousand times. For most of Sunday, during the build up to the announcement, the hashtag Doctor Who trended in the UK. Showrunner The Lord Thy God Steven Moffat trended number one in the UK and worldwide while former Doctor David Tennant trended at number three worldwide. The Twitter domination continued and at one point seven of the ten UK's trends were Doctor Who-related. Do you remember when we all used to have real friends to talk to, dear blog reader?
Big Finish has been producing the audio adventures of the Fifth Doctor, Peter Davison, since 1999. At first, he was joined by only the character of Nyssa (Sarah Sutton) and, occasionally, Peri (Nicola Bryant) before Mark Strickson recorded a few adventures with yer actual Peter Davison his very self. Then Big Finish managed to get the notoriously reluctant Janet Fielding to return for a one-off adventure featuring Cyber technology to finish her story as Tegan. Being the hard-working people that they are, they managed to convince Janet to come to the Big Finish fold on a yearly basis to reunite the classic TARDIS team of the Fifth Doctor, Nyssa, Turlough and Tegan and that's been happening since 2010. But, what about the original Fifth Doctor line-up? Was there any space for Matthew Waterhouse as Adric to make a return? It seemed as likely as Peter Capaldi being cast as the next Doctor did a few weeks ago - given Matthew;s previous comments about his time on the show. But, all of a sudden, Big Finish have posted a photograph on their Facebook page and now it’s official – Waterhouse is in the recording studio with Peter Davison, Janet Fielding and Sarah Sutton and they're recording new Doctor Who stories that will be released in 2014. Details on the upcoming adventures are yet to be released.

A UKiP politician filmed saying that British aid should not be sent to 'Bongo Bongo Land' has stood by his comments. So, no real surprise there. And then, Nigel Farage tries to convince people that UKiP isn't full of neo-fascist stuck-in-the-past knobends. Well, good luck with that, Nige. In the film 'obtained' by the Gruniad Morning Star (from whence, they reveal not), MEP Godfrey Bloom was recorded telling a meeting of supporters that aid was spent on items like 'sunglasses and Ferraris.' He produced no evidence to back up this claim, incidentally. He also alleged that British aid was spent on fighter planes in Pakistan, which he called 'treason' by the UK government. Bloom, MEP for Yorkshire and Northern Lincolnshire, told the BBC that giving to charity 'should be a choice.' Which is true, but foreign aid is not charity, mate, it's giving a helping hand to people who need it and whom we would like to be our friends and not regard us as arrogant cocks still living with some 1900s-style colonial mind-set where 'all the wogs start at Dover.' Helping people. Friends do that. You probably wouldn't know too much about the concept, however, since I imagine you don't have many friends. You might want to have a quiet think about why that is. Although there's a bit of a clue in the fact that you're in UKiP for a kick-off. Questioned on the BBC News Channel, Bloom claimed that it would be 'absurd' and 'ridiculous' to label his comments as racist. Which is exactly the sort of thing that racists usually say when they've just said something grossly offensive. He also suggested that yer actual 'Bongo Bongo Land' was 'a figment of people's imagination. It's like Ruritania or the Third World.' Err .. the Third World isn't a figment of anybody's imagination, pal. They were a great band. I think I've still got the twelve inch single of 'Now That We've Found Love (What Are We Gonna Do With It)' in the cupboard, somewhere. Anyway, he added: 'It's sad how anybody can be offended by a reference to a country that doesn't exist.' A tip, Godfrey, pal, when you're in a hole it's, generally, a good idea to stop digging. Speaking to BBC Radio 4's Today programme, he said: 'What I would argue is that it is for the individual citizen. It's not for the likes of David Cameron to pick up our pockets and send money to the charities of his choice. If I want to send money to charity, I will do it of my own accord.' He said that 'there are people in this country who can't get treatment for cancer, there are people who are waiting in the queue for dialysis machines' and that 'charity begins at home.' Oh, that's very good - playing the cancer card. Classy. He added: 'If I've offended anybody in Bongo Bongo Land I will write to their ambassador at the Court of St James.' In the footage, recorded last month at a meeting in Wordsley, Bloom said: 'How we can possibly be giving one billion pounds a month, when we're in this sort of debt, to Bongo Bongo Land is completely beyond me. To buy Ray-Ban sunglasses, apartments in Paris, Ferraris and all the rest of it that goes with most of the foreign aid. F18s for Pakistan. We need a new squadron of F18s. Who's got the squadrons? Pakistan, where we send the money.' A UKiP spokesman told the Gruniad that the matter was 'being discussed right at the very highest level of the party.' In the video, Bloom also criticised the European Court of Human Rights and European treaties. 'You can torture people to death but you jolly well can't give them a full life sentence because that's against their human rights,' he said. 'We can't hang them because we're now a member of the European Union and it's embedded in the Treaty of Rome.' Bloom said that he would be 'delighted' to 'throw the rope over the beam' at the hanging of 'certain criminals.' The shadow international development minister Rushanara Ali said: 'These are an offensive and narrow-minded set of remarks. If Nigel Farage is serious about getting rid of racism and intolerance in his party, he should take action against UKiP politicians who think it's acceptable to refer to developing countries as "Bongo Bongo Land."' Laura Pidcock, from campaign group Show Racism the Red Card, told Today that 'these crude stereotypes that see Britain as a civilised place and overseas as tribal' were 'incredibly damaging.' The MEP is no stranger to controversy. In 2010, he was ejected from the European Parliament for directing a Nazi slogan at a German colleague. And in 2011, he said small firms would have to be 'stark staring mad' to hire young women because of the risk of them needing maternity leave at a later stage. What a delightful chap. And, people actually voted for this man? Having spent the whole day showing not an ounce of contrition or regret for his rough tongue, suddenly, in late afternoon, Bloom (presumably prodded out to face the press by his party) mumbled some banal clichés about 'subsequently' realising that his choice of words 'could' be interpreted as 'pejorative.' When initially questioned over his comments, Bloom had told BBC News that it would be 'absurd' and 'ridiculous' to label them racist and attempted to blame the fuss caused on 'left-wing journalists.' And, then, he did a proper car crash of an interview on Channel Four News. Which was extremely funny. So, how long do we reckon it'll be before he's an MEP and former member of UKiP? Yes, Mister Godfrey, you may be excused.
A healthcare worker On Merseyside has been arrested as part of the Operation Elveden investigation into alleged illicit payments from journalists to public officials and other alleged nefarious skulduggery and alleged naughty shenanigans and malarkey. The forty six-year-old was held at his home at 6am on Wednesday morning on suspicion of conspiracy to commit misconduct in public office. Scotland Yard said that the man was being interviewed at a police station in Liverpool and his property was being searched. The force added: 'Officers from Operation Elveden arrested a forty six-year-old man this morning. Operation Elveden is the MPS inquiry into allegations of inappropriate payments to police and public officials. It is being supervised by the Independent Police Complaints Commission and is running in conjunction with Operation Weeting, the MPS phone-hacking inquiry. At this stage we are not prepared to comment further on a live investigation.' The Merseyside man was not named by Scotland Yard but is said to work for a healthcare trust. His is thought to be the seventy first arrest under Operation Elveden, the broad inquiry into alleged corrupt payments from journalists to police and public officials. Commander Neil Basu, of the Met, told MPs last month that further arrests were 'likely' under Operation Elveden and four hundred and nineteen suspected victims of alleged unlawful payments were in the process of being contacted.

Marmite's new 'Neglect' television advert has sparked two hundred and fifty complaints in under twenty four hours - from people with nothing better to do with their time than whinge about a TV advert, admittedly. And, let us once again, simply stand up and applaud the utter shite that some people chose to care about. The documentary-style commercial follows a team visiting houses to save and 'rehome' jars of Marmite, parodying campaigns for animal and child welfare charities. However, some viewers - or, 'glakes' as they're more commonly known - complained that it 'mocked' the work of animal and child protection services. Oh, Jesus. The two million smackers campaign is Marmite's first TV advert in two years, and premiered during ITV's Coronation Street on Monday. It quickly received negative comments on its Facebook and YouTube pages. The Advertising Standards Authority received over two hundred and fifty complaints for its 'poor taste.' The ASA will now assess whether or not to launch an investigation into any breach of rules relating to harm and offence. 'It is never our intention to cause offence,' said a spokesperson for Marmite. Although, having tasted the stuff, this blogger would like to question the complete accuracy of that statement. 'We have made every effort to ensure that this commercial entertains anyone who watches it. We believe we have created an unmistakably Marmite ad – people will either love it or hate it and they certainly won't forget it. We hope that everyone will watch and enjoy this commercial in the light-hearted way it was intended.' Sadly, the spokesperson didn't tell those that had complained to 'grow-the-hell-up and concentrate your whinging on stuff that actually matters.' Probably because they're far too nice a person to say any such thing. But, I'm not.

Yer actual Huge Laurie and Bryan Cranston have starred in a Daft Punk-themed dance routine on The Colbert Report. Stephen Colbert kicked off a five-minute video for the electronic duo's international hit 'Get Lucky' on his show earlier this week. Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon and the cast of Breaking Bad are also seen during the piece.

The company which owns the rights to 1972 pornographic film Deep Throat has taken legal action to block the release of the new movie Lovelace. The biopic stars Amanda Seyfried and is based on the formative years of adult film actress Linda Lovelace. Arrow Productions Ltd says that the film, due out in the US on Friday, uses more than five minutes of unlicensed footage from Deep Throat. They also claim the title Lovelace is used 'without license or permission.' I'm not actually sure that you need to licence somebody's name, but, hey we'll see what the judge says. Arrow filed a ten million dollars copyright action at the District Court in Manhattan on Tuesday. Its legal action said the company 'and its partners were surprised to hear about Lovelace because no one had approached Arrow for a license to use any of Arrow's intellectual property.' The action seeks an injunction against the distribution and marketing of Lovelace, an accounting of all profits and revenues from the film, and damages of at least ten million big ones. The film is scheduled to be released in the UK on 23 August. Arrow claims it first approached Millennium Films in December 2010. In a letter dated December 2011, a lawyer for Millennium wrote to Arrow's lawyer saying it was his client's view that Lovelace 'did not violate' Arrow's trademarks and copyrights. The company cited their First Amendment right to use the name and likeness of Linda Lovelace and depict her in connection with the film Deep Throat, wrote Millennium lawyer Donald Gordon. According to US copyright law, some footage from the porn film could be shown under the terms of 'fair usage.' However, determinations are made on a case-by-case basis. Four factors are typically considered: The purpose of use (commercial or non-commercial); the nature of copyrighted work (factual or creative); the effect of usage on the value of the protected work and the amount and substantiality of work used. Lovelace, which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival in January, chronicles porn star Lovelace's abusive marriage to Chuck Traynor, played by Peter Sarsgaard, and how she came to work on Deep Throat. It also explores her relationship with her mother Dorothy, played by Sharon Stone. Deep Throat, the first 'porno' movie widely seen in cinemas, made an estimated six hundred million dollars. The film helped create today's hard-core adult entertainment industry. Born Linda Boreman, Lovelace became an anti-pornography campaigner in later life. She died in a car accident in 2002 at the age of fifty three.

Stephen Fry has urged David Cameron to support moves to strip Russia of the 2014 Winter Olympics because of its new anti-gay laws. In an open letter to the PM, the International Olympic Committee and London 2012's Lord Coe, Stephen said that Russia was 'making scapegoats of gay people.' The government said it was 'working' closely with organisers to ensure the Games were free from discrimination. In Russia, it is illegal to give under-eighteens information about homosexuality. In Stephen's article, which was published on his own website, he compared the situation to the decision to hold the 1936 games in Nazi Germany. He urged International Olympics Committee President Jacques Rogge and his fellow committee members to 'take a firm stance on behalf of the shared humanity it is supposed to represent. It is simply not enough to say that gay Olympians may or may not be safe in their village. An absolute ban on the Russian Winter Olympics of 2014 is simply essential,' he wrote. 'Stage them elsewhere in Utah, Lillehammer, anywhere you like. At all costs Putin cannot be seen to have the approval of the civilised world.' He said that the London 2012 games 'were one of the most glorious moments of my life and the life of my country' and a Russian Winter Olympics 'would stain the movement forever and wipe away any of that glory.' Stephen made a direct appeal to the prime minister at the end of the letter. He says that he has the 'utmost respect' for Cameron and urged him to act on his instinct. 'As the leader of a party I have, for almost all of my life, opposed and instinctively disliked, you showed a determined, passionate and clearly honest commitment to LGBT rights and helped push gay marriage through both houses of our Parliament in the teeth of vehement opposition from so many of your own side,' he wrote. 'For that I will always admire you, whatever other differences may lie between us. In the end I believe you know when a thing is wrong or right. Please act on that instinct now.' A government spokeswoman said that Cameron 'outlined concerns' about the growing restrictions on LGBT freedoms in Russia to President Putin at a meeting in Downing Street in June. 'We are working closely with the IOC and the BOA ensure that the games take place in the spirit of the Olympic Charter and are free from discrimination,' she added. In a statement, the IOC said it 'respected Mr Fry's opinion' and the committee was clear that 'sport is a human right and should be available to all regardless of race, sex or sexual orientation. The IOC has received assurances from the highest level of government in Russia that the legislation will not affect those attending or taking part in the games,' a spokeswoman said. In June, Russia passed a law imposing heavy fines for providing information about homosexuality to people under eighteen. The law has been criticised by Western politicians and human rights groups, and has raised concerns that visiting gay athletes and spectators could face discrimination or even legal action. Gay rights campaigners have launched a tentative campaign for a boycott of the games, due to be held in the Russian Black Sea resort of Sochi in February. US President Obama spoke out against the legislation on NBC's The Tonight Show, broadcast on Tuesday. 'I have no patience for countries that try to treat gays or lesbians or transgender persons in ways that intimidate them or are harmful to them,' he said. It was in the best interests of Russia to 'make sure the Olympics work', he added. 'I think they understand that for most of the countries to participate in the Olympics, we wouldn't tolerate gays and lesbians being treated differently,' he said. Johnny Weir, the openly gay US figure skater, has told BBC Radio 4's Today programme that he would not observe any boycott of the games. 'To attack Russia is silly. It's not Russia's public's fault that their government is so bigoted and creating so many problems for a minority group,' he said.

The England and Wales Cricket Board is to demand an explanation and an apology from Channel Nine after the Australian broadcast appeared to imply that Kevin Pietersen had used silicon tape on his bat to fool Hot Spot. Pietersen took to Twitter to defend himself over the suggestion that he was 'one of several players' seeking to cheat the decision review system, as cricket's crisis over the use of technology deepened. The England batsman's controversial second-innings dismissal in the third test at Old Trafford, where he was given out caught behind off Peter Siddle even though the Hot Spot thermal-imaging technology showed no obvious mark on his bat, was said in a report on Channel Nine to have 'triggered an investigation' by the International Cricket Council, though the ICC subsequently said that was not the case or anything even remotely like it. The edge subsequently showed up on the more reliable – but much slower to use – sound-based Snickometer, another example of an apparent Hot Spot malfunction which., seemingly, fuelled suspicions - in conspiracy theorists if not anybody with a brain in their head - that batsmen from both sides may have found a way round the system. Those suggestions were dismissed by Australia's captain, Michael Clarke – who described them as 'quite funny' – and, later, by the ICC, but it was Pietersen himself who reacted the most angrily. 'Horrible journalism yet again!' he tweeted. 'My name brought up in Hot Spot crisis suggesting I use silicon to prevent nicks showing! Such hurtful lies.' In subsequent tweets, he added:'"How stupid would I be to try and hide a nick when it could save me on an LBW appeal, like in first innings where Hot Spot showed I nicked it. I am never afraid of getting out! If I nick it, I'll walk. To suggest I cheat by covering my bat with silicon infuriates me.' The ICC's general manager of cricket, Geoff Allardice, was due to arrive in the North East on Wednesday night for talks with both teams about the problems with the DRS throughout the series. But Dave Richardson, the ICC's chief executive, was unequivocal in denying any link between Allardice's arrival and Channel Nine's allegations. 'These media reports are totally incorrect,' he said. 'Geoff Allardice is meeting with both teams and umpires to see how we can best use the DRS and the available technology in the next two test matches. It has nothing to do with any players.' It is the efficacy or otherwise of Hot Spot that has been causing the greatest concern. Warren Brennan, the founder of the BBG company which developed Hot Spot, had promised a response to the criticism. However, after the Channel Nine story broke Brennan, who used to work for the network, did not respond to numerous calls and e-mails from the media. He recently outlined to The Observer his hopes that a new, more advanced piece of technology he has been developing with his English partner, Alan Plaskett – which would allow the third umpire to access the more sensitive Snickometer in real time and therefore reduce the reliance on Hot Spot – will be approved by the ICC before the return Ashes series in Australia this winter. 'Manufacturers' logos, such as metallic reflective stickers, can confuse Hot Spot, which is why the ICC is considering making them part of equipment regulations,' he admitted. 'I find the accusation quite funny,' Australia's captain had said. 'I can't talk for everybody but if it is the case we are talking about cheating, I can tell you there is not one person in the Australian change rooms who is a cheat. That's not the way we play cricket. I know no one is going to the extreme of saying put this on your bat because it will help you beat Hot Spot. I've used fibreglass facing on my bats since I got my first bat from Slazenger when I was twelve. I used a fibreglass face on the bat because we couldn't afford two or three or five or ten cricket bats. Because modern bats are pressed and are soft, you put a cover on it to protect the bat and make it last longer. A lot of players use that since I've been playing cricket. I didn't know there was such a thing you could do to hide nicking the ball on Hot Spot. I wouldn't think it would make any difference. I've never heard of anyone doing it.' Recent suggestions that India, who have been consistently sceptical about all forms of the DRS since its introduction around a decade ago, may now be ready to accept it would appear to be well wide of the mark. Jagmohan Dalmiya, who recently took over as the president of the Board of Control for Cricket in India from N Srinivasan, told the Indian Express newspaper: 'We will accept DRS when technology is foolproof. There's nothing in between. They couldn't fix the Duckworth-Lewis problem in fifteen years, what guarantee do we have about an error-free DRS? The whole process is very complicated and confusing. And rather than solving the riddle, DRS creates more confusion in its present form.'

England cricketer Monty Panesar has been fined by police after being caught urinating on nightclub bouncers in Brighton. The spinner, who plays for Sussex, was fined for being drunk and disorderly outside the Shooshh club early on Monday morning. Sussex Police said a thirty one-year-old man had received a fixed penalty notice for being drunk and disorderly. Sussex County Cricket Club said it was 'investigating' the incident. Panesar was part of the fourteen-man England squad that retained the Ashes at Old Trafford on Monday but did not play in the match. The left-arm spin bowler, who has one hundred and sixty four Test wickets for England, has not been included in the squad for the next Ashes Test at Durham, which starts on Friday.

An American tourist has damaged a Fourteenth Century Italian statue after accidentally breaking off its finger. Daft plank. That's Americans for you, dear blog reader. Unable to do anything without causing frigging mayhem and discombobulation everywhere they go. Look at Iraq for a kick-off. They just can't leave things alone, can they? Anyway, the statue, situated at the Museo dell'Opera del Duomo in Florence, is believed to be the work of sculptor Giovanni d'Ambrogio. According to the BBC, a security guard saw the tourist touch the statue but by the time he attempted to stop him it was already too late. The man 'apologised for the damage' (oh, so that's all right then), but could still be facing a heavy fine. Museum director Monsignor Timothy Verdun said publicly that the 'do not touch' signs at the museum are a 'fundamental' rule which had been forgotten. Well, either that or this bloke thought they didn't apply to him, one or the other.

Former The Scum and England footballer turned Sky Sports pundit Gary Neville is to feature in a session at the Edinburgh International Television Festival later this month. Neville, who joined Sky Sports at the start of the 2011-2012 Premier League football season and has won widespread praise for his incisive tactical analysis, will feature in a session called A Conversation with Gary Neville: From Pitch to Pundit. Neville will be interviewed by Ed Chamberlain, with whom he co-presents Sky's Monday Night Football. Topics covered will include what leadership lessons can be learned from Sir Alex Ferguson's reign as manager of The Scum, the team's winning mentality and whether it applies to making programmes and running channels. The session, which will include taking questions from delegates in attendance, will take place on Thursday 22 August. Other GEITF 2013 speakers include Brian Henson, chairman of the late The Muppet Show creator Jim Henson's company, with this year's MacTaggart keynote speech to be delivered by Kevin Spacey.

Dear old John Peel's virtual record collection attracted one hundred and twenty thousand visitors in its first six months online, curators said. About ten per cent of the broadcaster's twenty five thousand vinyl LPs, which he kept at his home library in Suffolk, have been put on arts website The Space since May 2012. The John Peel Centre, which is behind the project, said it showed how popular the collection was. The charity is hoping to get more funding to put more of the archive online. The Arts Council provided one hundred thousand smackers to put up the first one hundred LPs for every letter of the alphabet from Peel's collection. Tom Barker, a director of the John Peel Centre in Stowmarket, said: 'We're really happy to see how popular the collection has been. The virtual online archive allows you to browse along shelves of vinyl record sleeves. We were feeling our way into it, exploring whether we could make it work long-term and learning just how much amazing stuff is in John's archive. The evaluation shows we've started this amazing journey in the right way, so hopefully we can work out the funding to continue developing it.' Wirral-born Peel, who died in 2004, was a champion of new music during nearly four decades as a DJ on BBC Radio 1. His collection also included forty thousand vinyl singles, as well as CDs.

For today's Keith Telly Topping's 45 of the Day we feature a record that yer actual Peelie, almost certainly, never had in his collection - albeit, there is a geographical connection. A lot of people this week have stated that Peter Capaldi's casting as The Doctor sees the first occasion in which someone has become The Doctor who has a pre-existing musical career captured on vinyl, thanks to his one single - 'Béla Lugosi's Birthday' - with Dreamboys in 1980. Oh, do you bloody think so? Here's yer actual eighth Doctor, Paul McGann his very self, along with his brothers Joe, Mark and Stephen, from a couple of years later.
Arguably, of course, neither of these efforts are but a patch on this. Slammin' tune, Peter. Rock style.


Mark said...

Yer Actual Keith, I believe you have a fact wrong - that McGann song, released in 1998 features just Joe Mark and Stephen and NOT Paul. That is a Doctor free zone old chap.

Yer actual Keith Telly Topping said...

Absolutely one hundred per cent correct. Got the wrong one, tragically. Try Shame About The Boy instead (sadly, not available on YouTube).

PS: I thought you were *great* in Scully!