Songs To Sing And Learn: The Sixth XI

... And, I still haven't got bored with this malarkey yet. Remarkable.

1. Echo & The Bunnymen - 'Bring On The Dancing Horses' (Koreva KOW43-A): The under-stated humour in much of the Bunnies' best work is an often overlooked commodity. They were a right bunch of dry, sarky buggers, basically. Take Anton Corbijn's memorable video for this gorgeous single - from 1984 - for instance. The title of the song includes the word 'horse' so, of course, the video starred ... a cow. I love Mac's voice on this one and the words ('Hating all the faking/And shaking while I'm breaking/You brittle heart.') Will Sergeant's delicate guitars are the final cherry on a cake of quite exquisite beauty. The Bunnymen were never quite as swoppingly majestic as this afterwards although they continued to make good records for a long time to come ('Nothing Lasts Forever' for one). But this and 'Silver' and 'Seven Seas' are the real business. Third-gen Merseybeat with attitude. And jokes. 'Bring on the new messiah/Wherever he may roam.' And here's a lovely live performance of the song from Glastonbury in the late nineties.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Xx0kHWmsjA

2. The Move - 'Fire Brigade' (Regal Zonophone RZ3005-A): A hugely under-rated band, The Move. They came across as something of a bunch of Brummy yobs with an auto-destruction stage act that borrowed perhaps a touch too librally from The Who. They also - and it's an important side-issue - made half-a-dozen of the best pops singles of 1960s. This is probably the apex. Fantastic guitar solo by the great Trevor Burton. And here's Roy, Carl and the boys in a famous performance on Top of the Pops from 1968. Or, if you prefer, here they are playing live (as a four-piece, without Ace Kefford) in glorious colour on BBC2's Colour Me Pop a year later. The later's far rougher but has a certain raw charm that I like.

3. R Dean Taylor - 'There's a Ghost in My House' (VIP 25042-A): In the 1960s Canadian singer-songwriter R Dean Taylor worked at Motown as a writer and producer. He gained extensive studio experience with Holland-Dozier-Holland learning the production ropes, sang backing vocals on some Marvin Gaye songs and wrote a few in-house hits for the likes of The Surpemes, Brenda Holloway and The Four Tops. Every now and then, he even got to record a couple of singles of his own for one of Motown's smaller labels, VIP - check out 1964's hilarious 'Ladybug (Stay Away From That Beatle)' - including, in 1967, this eerie soul stomper about abandoned love. It didn't do much on first release but, a year later, Dean had a big US hit with 'Gotta See Jane' and then, in 1971, having transferred to Motown's experimental 'white rock' imprint, Rare Earth, he had an international success with the murder-ballad 'Indiana Wants Me.' Meanwhile, in England, the Northern Soul scene had made 'There's A Ghost In My House' a virtual anthem and when Tamla re-released the single in 1974 it made the UK Top Three. And, it still bring back some glorious memories for me of those non-stop dancing all-nighters at the Greenford.

4. David Bowie - 'The Buddha of Suburbia' (Arista 74321-17705-A): The book - by Hanif Kureishi - is one of the greatest of the Twentieth Century. The TV series adaptation was a thing of controversial beauty (wasn't it lovely to see Lost's Naveen Andrews looking so young!) And the song? One of only about three (four at a push) that The Great Dame Herself made post 'Let's Dance' that'd I actually pay good money to listen to. My favourite bit? The little snatch of 'Space Oddity' guitar a minute from the end. Magical. And the video's great too. David, start making records like this again, please!

5. The Teardrop Explodes - 'Treason (It's Just A Story)' (Zoo Records CAGe 008-A): The story of how The Crucial Three became The Nova Mob, who became A Shallow Madness who, subsequently, spawned The Teardrop Explodes, Wah Heat! and Echo & The Bunnymen is worthy of a book in and of itself (and, indeed, it has one - Julian Cope's hilarious autobiography Head On). How The Teardrop Explodes, a bunch of notorious Scouse (or, in one case, Tamworth) scallys with an acid-fixation managed to produced, in 1980, three of best singles and one of the greatest LPs of any era is a more challenging conundrum. Let's just say sometimes, these things happen. 'I've been living through changes/And I could swing for you.' Julian subsequently went off on long, baffling but often magically rewarding solo trip as a maverick songwriter and author. Dave Balfe created a record company and gave the world Blur. And their manager, Bill Drummond (who once, apparently seriously, suggested Julian kill himself as a publicity stunt to sell more records), became a bigger pop-star than both of them in The KLF. Sometimes, life is just odd. Here's a wonderful In Concert performance from 1981 with the very legendary Troy Tate, Alfie Angus (he's the poncey-looking bass player) and Jeff Hammer (the straight-looking chap playing keyboards) joining Copey and Gary Dwyer in the Teardrops' notorious fluid line-up. When once asked if The Teardrops would ever get back together, Julian memorably replied 'Would you return to having your mother wipe your asshole?' Point very much taken.

6. Joy Division - 'Atmosphere' (Sordide Sentimental SS 33 002-A): Originally released on a tiny French indie label as Licht und Blindheit, 'Atmsophere' (and its companion piece, 'Dead Souls') within a month of its release had taken on a life of its own when the man who wrote and sang it's angusihed lyrics took his own life. Since then, the song's aching melancholoy sadness and Byronesque doomed sentiments ('Your confusion, my illusion/worn like a mask of self-pain/Confronts them and dies/Don't walk away/In silence') have been analysed to death by gloomy fuckers in long overcoats. And NME journalists. Peter Hook and (especially) the late Tony Wilson regard it as Joy Division's definitive statement. And, so it was something of a shock to see it end up being used on a First Direct banking advert. Is that more criminal than The Clash being used to sell jeans? Possibly not, though somehow it feels like it should be. Why the song is always, automatically, associated with death when it's actually about a bloke pleading with his girlfriend not to leave him, only those listening can answer. Mind you, Anton Corbijn's video doesn't exactly help matters!

7. Bob Marley & The Wailers - 'Could You Be Loved?' (Island WIP 6610-A): Bob already had the cancer that would ultimately kill him when he wrote 'Could You Be Loved?' in early 1979 during the Uprising sessions. (Legend has it that he wrote it on the same day as 'Redemption Song'.) Possibly that's why 'Could You Be Loved?' includes a direct quotation from one of his earliest songs, 'Judge Not' amid its chunky disco rhythm and Junior Marvin's shakkashak guitars. 'We've got a life to live!' Mighty is the word of Jah himsen, Rasta. Cha.

8. Sham 69 - 'Borstal Breakout' (Polydor 2058 966-A): They had horrible, violent fascist numbskull fans and the band themselves often made a pretty horrible noise, but Sham 69 had something about them that, just occasionally, could move mountains. Big ones, an'all. 'Borstal Breakout' is Jimmy Pursey's one proper lyrical masterpiece - a mad-angry two minute snarl of regret and confinement. The song would mutate live to become, by the time of Sham's last tour, little short of a ten minute episode of Z Cars! (Listen, for example, to the extended version given away on a twleve inch single with early copies of The Adventures of Hersham Boys LP. A towering beast of a performance.) Here they are at Reading in 1978, a festival I was at, actually. I don't remember much about The Shammies performance, to be honest, I'd gone there chiefly to see The Jam and Penetration. But I do recall that I ended up getting my head kicked-in by skinheads. That happened quite a lot around the Sham, unfortunately.

9. james - 'Sit Down' (Fontana JIM812-A): One of my favourite bands, james. A weird little veggie folk-rock combo who recorded a few great singles for Rough Trade, toured with The Smiths and then made the single biggest mistake of their lives by signing to Sire on the - pretty reasonable, let it be said - assumption that the people who'd previously signed The Undertones and The Ramones must, vaguely, know what they were doing. As it happens, they didn't and james were left to rot once their (excellent) first LP didn't sell in the numbers the company expected: Unable to record because the company had poured all of their money in Madonna's True Blue tour. Unable to tour because the company wouldn't let them because they had no product to promote. Reduced, at one point, to testing experimental drugs at the local hospital to make some money. (The song 'Riders' on One Man Clapping details the results.) They ended up recording a live LP and this single for indie labels to make enough money to pay off the debts they incurred buying themselves out of their Sire contract. (The song 'Burned' on One Man Clapping details the results.) Their drummer quit because, as he memorably remarked at the time, 'I'd be better off on the dole than being a pop-star!' Then, finally, they made it thanks to Madchester - produced a run of some brilliant singles ('How Was It For You?', 'Come Home') and we had a few unforgeable nights at the G-Mex where, it seemed, anything was possible. Except getting to number one - 'Sit Down' was - infamously - kept off the top by Chesney Hawkes. 'Those who find themselves ridiculous/sit down next to me.' When Tim Booth sings 'If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor' you believe him.

10. Charlie Drake - 'My Boomerang Won't Come Back' (Parlophone R4824-A): Whoever it was that said novelty records always have to be rubbish was a goddamn liar. I'll stand by this little gem - the first record I can remember playing, regularly, as a child - till doomsday. Due, largely, to a combination of George Martin's production trickery (this was six years before Sgt Pepper's, remember!) and the punchline. 'Daddy will be pleased!'

11. Oasis - 'Supersonic' (Creation CRE 176): One forgets just how young Liam was when this was out. He looks almost pretty! This is for everybody who saw Oasis at their peak during 1995-96, the year of Glastonbury, Whitley Bay, Maine Road and Knebworth. Where were you while we were getting high?

Last Chance Harvey: Plenty Of Rom But Not Much Com

Keith Telly Topping drew the short straw in The Afternoon Show office and, thus, spent most of this morning watching Last Chance Harvey. He is rather surprised to report that, actually, it isn't quite as toe-curlingly dreadful as you may have expected from the evidence of the trailer. Or, indeed, from reading the plot. It's essentially Notting Hill for Fiftysomethings and, as such, works in roughly the same 'feel-good' way: An attempt to make London look 'pretty' and 'charming' for a predominantly American audience. (Well, not Stanstead, doubling for Heathrow - that could never look charming in a million years - but, the South Bank.)

If you're in the mood for lots of very good actors (James Brolin, Eileen Atkins, Richard Schiff from The West Wing) in small roles and ninety minutes of quite well-played (if, occasionally, illogical) slush then you'll probably get something out of it. The main flaw is that the first hour is horribly slow and contrived and awkward (in which, pretty much nothing of any consequence happens). Plus, there's a couple of subplots that are given plenty of screen-time but, ultimately, go nowhere. The funniest bit, by quite a long way, is the sight of Emma Thompson dancing at the wedding reception; she looks not unlike a blancmange attached to the electrical mains. Didn't Emma used to be all svelt, delicate and lovely in her winsomely Home Counties marvellousness? Did she eat her two Oscars? Anyway ... not a genre classic by any means - it's certainly no Groundhog Day for instance - and not really my cup of tea either, if I'm honest. But, undemanding so far as it goes.

If I'd had to pay to see it, I'd've savaged it like a rottweiler going for a kitten but, since it's a reasonably good-natured movie, I'll give it five out ten. Borderline six for Emma's blancmange dance.

Week Twenty One: The End Of Many Eras

Yer actual Keith Telly Topping is a somewhat sad and disconsolate chap this very Sunday morning, dear blog reader. For yesterday saw what was, in all probability (and certainly for the foreseeable future), his last match at The Cathedral of Dreams, St James' Park.

Just over forty years after he first went to the gaff as an over-excited five year old. Thirty two years since he first got a season ticket (ironically, the stupid bastards went down that season as well). He always used to mutter, darkly, at mere transient players, managers and even chairmen when they were making disgraceful public pontifications about this, that or the other. 'I'll be here long after you're gone'.

So, one supposes, congratulations - of a back-handed sort - are in order to That Mister Mike Ashley because he's done something which Lord Westwood, Stan Seymour, Gordon McKeag, Sir John Hall and Fat Freddie Shepherd could not - he has outlasted this blogger's tolerence of incompetence. Next season Keith Telly Topping's seat in the Gallowgate End will be someone else's problem. There was, perhaps inevitably, a bittersweet moment as yer actual Keith Telly Topping left the ground, disillusioned and bewildered by the latest peformance of knackerless ineptitude by eleven disgraceful, over-paid gutless cowards, two minutes before full-time.

A previously bright and sunny day suffered a sudden, violent cloudburst and this blogger got completely drenched on his way to the taxi rank in Strawberry Place. A geologically metaphoric moment which sort of summed up Keith Telly Topping's entire time watching this strange and baffling football club. Lots of promise but, ultimately, you always end up disappointed (and, usually, soaked through to your vest).

Forty years ... This blogger would have got less for murder, frankly.

So anyway, dear blog reader, the fifth season of Lost (currently the best TV show in the world that doesn't features the words 'Doctor' and 'Who' in the title) ended this week with a double-length episode that featured at least three revelations which will, I guarantee, leave regular viewers with their mouths hanging limply open and saying 'but... but... but... hang on' at their TV screens. It also included, quite simply, the best end-of-season cliff-hanger that possibly any TV show had ever done. I mean it was huge. A nuclear solution, no less. There were massive chunks of back-story concerning the mysterious Jacob and his interaction with just about every single character on the show somewhere in their past; a beautiful sequence giving two much-loved minor characters their (possibly final) moment in the spotlight and a conclusion that doesn't have any obvious 'where next' signposts attached to it. Not bad for a day's work, frankly. And now, we've got eight months to wait for the next, and final, season. That's going to be difficult.

Bones will be back sooner than Lost (late September, seemingly) but may be equally changed after a challenging and unusual season finale which managed to stay just the right side of the '... And then he woke up and it was all a dream. Or was it?' cliché of dramatic writing that long-running TV series will often have a go at in the desire to 'do something different.' It was a close run thing, mind, but the final line of dialogue was probably what made the crucial difference between the episode working to a limited degree and not working at all. Anyway, Bones has been a revelation this year - it's always been a surprisingly good little show, far outstripping many critics unfair predictions when it started that it would be, essentially, CSI-lite. My own included. But this year, it's gone from being a surprisingly good little show to being a surprisingly great little show - a minor, but a necessary difference, I feel.

And, after one of the season's most prolonged back-and-forths over the fees paid by the network to the studio, FOX have decided to renew Bones - for both a fifth and a sixth season. Executive producer Hart Hanson announced the pick-up on Saturday, via Twitter. (Which is a computer thing that all the 'with-kid' are into. Apparently.) Bones will most likely be paired on Thursday nights with the reality show So You Think You Can Dance. Negotiations went on for a long time between FOX and its sister studio 20th TV - the show's producer - despite Bones's consistently solid performance not just this year but, indeed, over the last four years. Several older shows which would have seemed certainties for renewal in the past have met with resistance from a variety of networks this time around as broadcasters search, increasingly desperately, for ways to cut costs in these harsh economic times.

Speaking of CSI, this has also been a year of considerable change for them, with the replacement of their lead actor mid-season. The last couple of episodes somewhat failed to full satisfy after a very good run prior to that but, on its day CSI remains the king of all US procedural cop shows. Despite that, audiences are down somewhat and some critics have chosen to attempt to paint this as, in some ways, a comment by viewers on Larry Fishburne's abilities as an actor. I know, ludicrous isn't it? There are, however, consistent rumours of at least one cast change next year.

Meanwhile, in a stunningly unexpected move, The Hollywood Reporter suggests that FOX have renewed Joss Whedon's Dollhouse for next fall. The official announcement will not be made until Monday at the network's upfront presentation, but sources confirm a deal has been struck for another thirteen episodes. FOX, it is said, plans to continue the show in its current Friday slot. Which is totally brilliant, obviously, but ... 'unexpected' doesn't even begin to cover how much this has caught the industry (and, indeed, the show's fans) by surprise. This appears to be the first occasion ever that FOX (or, indeed, any major network come to that) has renewed a show seemingly based entirely on how it has performed on the Internet, via TiVO figures and in the hope that the forthcoming DVD release will create a new fanbase. Because, let's be honest, there is no way on earth that a show as expensive as Dollhouse could have got renewed based on its TV ratings alone. Remember, the last episode was watched by 2.8 million viewers. Just to put that in perspective that's approximately a third of the numbers that Whedon's Firefly was getting when it got cancelled, just as it was getting really interesting, a few years ago. In fact, Dollhouse might well be the lowest-rated in-season scripted drama to ever get a renewal on a major broadcast network. I understand that FOX have demanded, and received, some serious budget concessions from 20th TV and Whedon to continue making the show, with 20th now shouldering a far greater portion of the cost. Something that they will hope to largely recover from DVD sales, one would imagine.

Dollhouse joins Lie to Me, Fringe, Bones and 24 as FOX's officially announced returning dramas for the 2009-10 TV season. Expect House to join them when the full list is announced tomorrow. The renewal also means that FOX is bringing back all three of its freshman dramas for a second season - Fringe, Lie to Me and Dollhouse - which is certainly a boast for programme-makers in what has been a very challenging year for broadcasters generally.

Now, if you fancy a reet good laugh (and let us face it, dear blog reader, we could all probably do with one of those at the moment - Dollhouse's renewal notwithstanding) then I suggest you watch this - the great Big Quiffed Marky Kermode explaining, with precise scientific magnificence the crucial difference between The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons.

Let us move swiftly, I think, to some Top Telly Tips.

Friday 22 May
In EastEnders - 8:00 BBC1 - it seemed that Billy Mitchell was taking the lyrics of Paper Lace's big 1970s hit (not 'The Night Chicago Died', the other one) quite literally when he hid in the lavvy whilst a gang of vicious thugs beat Jay's dad to a bloodied dead pulp. Since then, the guilt of lying to Jay and Dawn about those fatal events has made Billy in an even more morose and monosyllabic character than usual. Which, let's face it, should really be possible. But, there it is. Of course, since Nasty Nick discovered the truth and started to blackmail him, Billy's had damned good reason to act and look a man who's just sat down as he remembers that he's left his rectal thermometer in. Finally, though, the worm may be about to turn - but can Billy muster his courage? And will he be brave enough to confess his lie to Jay?

Saturday 23 May
It's a bit of a toss-up on Saturday - there's Robin Hood which is quite good fun (especially since Toby Stephens climbed on board) but nobody's watching it, Primeval which just continues to get better and better but hardly anybody's watching that either and Britain's Got Talent which is banal nonsense as usual but everybody's watching it. On Britain's Got Talent - 8:20 ITV - with the auditions finally over, the judges - nasty Simon Cowell, even nastier Piers Morgan and weepy Amanda Holden - prepare to reveal which forty acts have made it through to the live semi-finals. Or, rather, which thirty nine acts plus Susan Boyle have made it through to the live semi-finals. There also looks to be quite a decent episode of Casualty on BBC1 and 9:05 so that's probably the pick of a jolly rum bunch.

Sunday 24 May
Heartbeat - 7:30 ITV - is just about the only TV drama show that has lasted longer than the decade in which it's set. Worried that Nursie Carol is in danger, Joe leaves their Australian investigation to look for her. Back in town, another woman has disappeared in the area of the town, and a prime suspect appears to have gone too. And Rachel, Joe and Carol finally find what they are looking for - but their search ends in tragedy. And, of course, it's the final Match Of The Day of a thoroughly wretched and depressing season for everybody in my region. On the opening day, I confidently told Alfie Joey that I expected the black and whites to finish in the top ten and the red and whites to finish about twelfth. I think I'll stick to top telly picking from now on, I've obviously got no future as a football pundit. Mind you, my strikes-rate's about the same as That There Mark Lawrenson and he still gets paid for it...

Monday 25 May
Having finally got shot of that odiously offensive little hippy Communist Bill Oddie, Simon King, Kate Humble and Chris Packham are left on their own to follow the daily fortunes of a brand-new cast of unforgettable wildlife characters in the lovely Springwatch - 8:00 BBC2 (continuing for about the next three weeks). Kate and Chris will report from their base in the wilds of wildest Norfolk. Simon will be on a mission in Welsh Wales, home of polecats, goshawks, red kites and ... Welshmen, probably. Makes a change from him being stuck half-way up a cliff on the Farne Islands protected only by a flimsy BBC kagoul like he usually is, I think new-boy Chris has got that gig this year. Always nice to see a bit of hazing going down in the BBC natural history department. And Gordon Buchanan will be getting close to a large family of badgers in suburban Essex. I wonder if, one year, we'll finally get Katie Humble's Badger Watch? Some of us have, frankly, been waiting a very long time for that. A man can dream, surely?

In the week that one of this country's all-time greatest certified nutters, Sir Ranulph Twiselton-Wykeham-Ffiennes became the oldest Briton ever to climb the world's highest mountain (I mean, good on you, Ran, it's an impressive achievement but ... are you insane??) summit season is about to start at Everest Basecamp. And, the doctors working at the highest hospital in the world gear up to deal with a constant stream of life-threatening emergencies in Everest ER - 7:30 BBC1. With hundreds of climbers about to enter the death zone, it is only a matter of time before Everest claims its first casualties. I'm not surprised. Have you seen the size of that thing? It's effing MILES. I couldn't walk that far on the flat let alone on a one-in-two gradient. And I'm twenty years younger than Ranulph.

Who's Watching You? - 9:00 BBC2 - is a series that looks at why the UK has become one of the most watched places in the world. Er... because it's a nation that appears to be full to overflowing with scummy thieves, drug dealers and knife crime, possibly? Or is that too simple an explanation? Richard Bilton explores the hidden world of surveillance. He goes inside the CCTV nerve centre, sees how all of our journeys can be monitored and meets undercover agents, those who are watched and those who have fallen foul of modern surveillance. How anybody can 'fall foul' of modern surveillance unless they were doing something wrong in the first place, I'm not too sure. Nor, indeed, the conundrum of how someone who seemingly objects to having their privacy invaded squares that belief with the act of going on a TV show and, therefore, into millions of people's homes, to tell them their story. So, I'll certainly be watching this documentary to see if I can find out.

Tuesday 26 May
In Corrie - 8:00 ITV - can Blanche and Deirdre reconcile their differences? Well ... do we want them to? Surely the constant sour bitching a'tween those two is just about the only reason for watching Coronation Street these days? Bit of tension, always a winner in soap operas.

Abdication: A Very British Coup - 8:00 BBC4 - seeks to shed new light on the greatest crisis to rock the British monarchy in three centuries - the abdication of King Edward VIII. Usually, it has been presented as the only solution to his dilemma of having to choose between the throne and the woman he loved. Using secret documents and contemporary diaries and letters, this film shows a popular monarch whose modern ideas, in a sort of 1930s Prince Charles-type way, so unsettled the establishment that his love for Wallis Simpson became the perfect excuse to bounce him off the throne. That, and the fact that they were a pair of closet Nazis who counted Hitler and Oswald Mosley among their close personal friends, of course.

The Lost WWI Bunker: A Time Team Special - 9:00 C4 - sees Tony Robinson and lovely old Phil Harding join an unprecedented archaeological expedition in search of a perfectly preserved first World War bunker called the Vampir. Beneath the paralysed western front in the Belgian mud of Ypres and Passchendaele, elite tunnelling companies of sappers created a deep and complex maze of tunnels and dugouts, which was the only safe place to hide when the shelling and the gas attacks made the surface above a literal hell on earth. I love this sort of stuff - bringing history to life with a flick of the spade. No news yet on whether Time Time's been recommissioned for next year but, Channel 4, it should be a no-brainer even in tough times. We need television like this whether we want, or even deserve, it or not.

Wednesday 27 May
Tonight sees the UEFA Champions League Final: Barcelona v Manchester United - 7:00 ITV. Steve Rider presents live coverage from the Olympic Stadium in Rome, as the holders The Vile Scum of Mankind take on 2006 winners Barcelona. The Catalan club, with its feared strike force of Lionel Messi, Thierry Henry and Samuel Eto'o, have scored over one hundred and fifty goals this season, but Sir Alex Ferguson's men will aim to become the first club to successfully defend the Champions League trophy. With studio analysis by Andy Townsend, commentary by Clive Tyldesley and the wretched, clueless David Bleat. Having him pass comments on major international football matches is like watching somebody from the local Am-dram society presenting the Oscars. There'll also be pitchside reports from Gabriel Clarke.

Alternatives to the footie are, for once, few and far between but the adventurous might like to consider Armando Iannucci in Milton's Heaven and Hell - 9:00 BBC2. John Milton's poetry is often considered too difficult and obscure for many of today's readers, but to comedy guru Armando Paradise Lost is a thrilling work of creative genius that we ignore at our peril. In this film, Iannucci journeys through Milton's life and his great poem, taking in everything from Satan and the birth of spin to farting angels and questioning God, offering his own passionate and illuminating response to Paradise Lost. Along the way, he talks to schoolchildren, politicians and former prisoners to build up a picture of what Milton was like and why his art may have turned out the way it did. Sounds great. I'll still be watching the football but I might record this for later viewing.

The same goes for How the Celts Saved Britain - 8:00 BBC4 - in which Dan Snow (fast becoming the Beeb's new go-to guy when it comes to 'extreme history' type shows) blows the lid on the traditional Anglo-centric view of history and reveals how the Irish saved Britain from cultural oblivion during the Dark Ages of 400-800AD. While in Britain Germanic barbarism replaced Roman civilisation. Or, at least that's it says here ... I've always thought that was a very simplistic view of a highly complex and interesting historical period. But then, Dan's getting paid to make the show and I'm not. Christianity transformed Ireland into the cultural powerhouse of early medieval Europe. Snow follows in the footsteps of Ireland's earliest missionaries as they bring Christianity, literacy and technological progress to the future nations of Scotland and England.

Thursday 28 May
Tourettes: I Swear I Can't Help It - 9:00 BBC1 - checks in on John Davidson, who first featured in a BBC film about the effects of Tourettes Syndrome in 1988. And, on fifteen-year-old Greg Storey, who the cameras met when they revisited John in 2002. Greg is now the same age as John was when he took part in the first documentary. How does Greg's experience of being a teenager with Tourettes compare to John's and how does John's life continue to change?

The Building Inspector Is Coming - 9:00 Channel 4 - follows the work of Birmingham City Council's building control unit, the biggest in the UK with eighty staff. The programme joins the inspectors as they investigate anonymous tip-offs, uncover dangerous building practices and enforce the law against reluctant homeowners and dodgy builders. We also meet the pregnant mother whose roof can't be saved and the transsexual who has spent fifteen years turning his terraced house into a palace 'fit for a princess.'

I mentioned The Mentalist - 9:00 Five - a few weeks ago when it started and it's turning out to be one of Five's big import hits. This show follows the work of an investigator who uses his razor-sharp skills of observation to solve crimes. Patrick Jane convinces Lisbon to take on a case as a favour to an old associate who stands accused of murder. The consultant initially thinks that animal activists are to blame for the crime, but begins to doubt his instincts when a complex web of deceit unravels. Rather good it is too and it's quickly built up a decent-sized audience. On a related note, Lie To Me - 10:00 Sky1 - is another very watchable US drama series about a scientist who uses his ability to read facial expressions and body language - in a sort-of Derren Brown style - to tell if people are lying and, thus, solve crimes. It stars the excellent Tim Roth (still probably best known for Pulp Fiction). I've recently caught up with the first half-dozen episodes from the US and it's very good indeed. Tim and his female co-star, Kelli Williams (who you may know for a long running US legal show called The Practice), have a lot of on-screen chemistry between them and the stories are quite clever. Tonight, when the gifted daughter of a judge is murdered, Cal must find out whether one of her classmates or her own mother is the culprit. Check this one out - if you like stuff like Medium, you'll probably enjoy it a great deal.

Another Ten Songs Your iPod Needs

Curious, this. I thought I - and everybody else for that matter - would've got well-sick of this 'what I've got on my MP3 and why you should have it too' conceit by now. But, seemingly not. So, ever onwards ... Let's start in 1974.

1. Dr Feelgood - 'Roxette' (United Artists Records UP35760-A): One of the great rock and roll TV performances of all time, this - from The Old Grey Whistle Test. Watch as Wilko Johnson provides Paul Weller with an entire career plan in one three minute burst of manic thrashing, strutting and glowering at the camera. That's entertainment, dear blog reader. And, something you just don't see anywhere near enough on TV these days, 'the mad bloke with the guitar.' Love this song. Love this performance. Love the late and much lamented Lee Brilleaux givin' that harmonica some serious spit. What a fabulous - and very under-rated - band the Feelgoods were. 'You don't have to be a musician to play rock 'n' roll,' Lee once said. 'You've just got to love it and want to play it.' Dynamite.

2. Half Man Half Biscuit - 'The Trumpton Riots' (Probe Plus TRUMP1-A): Same show, albeit with a marginally modified - less grey - title (and different hosts) ten years later! 'ELEVATE!' The fact, dear blog reader, that Nigel Blackwell still hasn't been knighted for his services to music, the celebration of tack-TV and stand-up comedy is one of the great unjust crimes of the last fifty years, far bigger than any MP claims scandal. I'm not actually sure if that is a Dulka Prague away kit he's wearing on this, I believe the Halfies only ever TV appearance (more likely, it's a Tranmere away kit). 'We've had Cant conformism since 1966/And now subversions in the air in the shape of flying bricks.' The Halfies are, of course, still going strong and I, along with a few thousand other lunatics, still continue to buy the occasional records they put out every couple of years. Because there is, quite simply, nobody else like them on the planet.

3. Dreadzone - 'Little Britain' (Virgin VSCDG 1565-A): This brilliant live performance, complete with two false starts, is from Poland in 2007, apparently. Mighty Dread! A beautiful song, full of intelligent lyrics and clever samples (mostly from Lindsay Anderson's 'If ...' - 'Britain today is a powerhouse!') 'This is our land/This is your land.' Yer mon. GO!

4. Stevie Wonder - 'Superstition' (Tamla 54226-A): I love the music of Motown and all of its associate labels. Music you can dance to and fall in love to. Music that, for the few minutes that it's on, makes you happy, makes you buzz, makes you alive. I quite like the early 'doo-wop' years, but, for me, the company reallly hit its stride sometime around 1961 when 'Please Mr Postman' was a hit and, from there until the early seventies, they barely put a foot wrong. One can look for a specific date for the end of this 'gloden' age and the general consensus is that -if such a date exists - it's somewhere around 1972. Different reasons are often cited, not least the company moving lock, stock and two smoking en masse to LA and, in that instant, losing the in-house groove - actual and conceputal - that they enjoyed back in Detroit at Hitsville to become something more corporate. More business. But, personally, I put the end of the classic Motown period squarely at 8 November 1972 and the release of this single. Because, frankly, after this there was nowhere else for them to go. How do you top perfection? Tell it to The Man, Stevie.

5. The Stone Roses - 'I Am The Resurrection' (Silvertone ORE40-A): Eight minutes and ten seconds of stomping, whopping and spinning Northern Soul. 'I Am The Resurrection' distills everything that was great about The Roses into one song - Reni's funky drums, Mani's bone-shaking basslines, Johnny Squire's solo - Pete Townshend tripped-out on E and sent to Jupiter. it's the arrogance, the cockiness, it's Salford personified. 'I am the resurrection/and I am the life/I couldn't ever bring myself/to hate you as I'd like!' And then came Speke Island. And a few miles across town, Liam and Noel were watching earnestly and taking lots of notes. Britpop, in all its marbled forms, start right here - at the death of baggy. Or, alternatively, here's the 'live at the Blackpool Tower' version which goes on for about half an hour and featuring some of the very worst singing of Ian Brown's career! And it's still magical. 'Down, down/You bring me down...'

6. Massive Attack - 'Angel' (Wild Buch Records WBRCD10-A): The rumbling bass intro sparks with sheer menace, and danger. Yet Horace Andy's soft, floating (almost feline) vocals speak words of comfort, reassurance and even love. This curious juxtaposition is the key to the song's power as layer after layer of rich, deep, textured sounds cover, but never suffocate, the core elements of the record. Add in Angelo Bruschini's tough, angular guitars and you have something to be admired, feared and danced to all at the same time. Possibly the finest ever use of a song in dramatic television was 'Angel' cropping up at the climax to an episode of The West Wing, weaving in an out of the narrative across five intense, heart-stopping moments as Zoey Bartlet is kidnapped. 'Love you/love you/love you/love you/love you/love you/love you...' Epic, in every sense of the word.

7. The Animals - 'We've Gotta Get Out of This Place' (EMI Columbia DB7639-A): I doubt very much whether Barry Mann and Cynthia Weil have ever been within a thousand miles of Newcastle upon Tyne. When they wrote 'We've Gotta Get Out Of This Place' they were in New York and were writing a vaguely brooding number of The Righteous Brothers. But the notorious Allen Klein heard it, liked it, passed it to Mickey Most in London and it ended up being recorded by The Animals at Regent Sound in their first session after Alan Price had left the band (that's Dave Rowberry on the keys). So, Chas Chandler arranges a three note bass intro that has became a template for Peter Hook's career and Eric Burdon takes one look at the lyrics, thinks of growing up in Walker and sings 'In this dirty old part of the city/where the sun refuses to shine/people tell me their ain't no use it trying.' And, The Animals howled. I have to say, also, that's a jolly lovely Rickenbacker 360 Hilton Valentine's playing there!

8. The Four Tops - 'It's The Same Old Song' (Motown 1081-A): You've really got to admire Brian Holland, Lamont Dozier and Eddie Holland. They were a trio of cheeky bastards! They've had a bunch of hits with The Vandellas, The Supremes and, latterly, The Four Tops but some of the more picky end of the music press have started to complain that, musically, 'I Can't Help Myself' was just like 'Where Did Our Love Go?' Which was exactly like 'Baby Love.' Which was a bit like 'Nowhere To Run.' Which was similar to 'Can I Get A Witness?' Which was exactly like 'Leaving Here.' Etc. etc. So, the next song they write is called 'It's The Same Old Song' and features 'I Can't Help Myself's chords, played backwards. You've honestly got to stand up and salute irony like that! And, here's Levi, Duke and the boys on Shindig! Never mind the quality, feel the groove. And, nice threads.

9. The Bodines - 'Therese' (Creation CRE: 028-A): Another classic little example of C86 Indie in the style of, let say, The Mighty Lemon Drops or Ride or early primal Scream. The Bodines, from Glossop in Derbyshire and fronted by the floppy-fringed singer Michael Ryan, were an edgy, slightly awkward and angular guitar band live but this single, produced by Ian Broudie, was a thing of rare jangly beauty. Then, as with many of their contemporaries, they signed for a major label (Magnet, in The Bodines case) and it all went horribly wrong.

10. The Kinks - Waterloo Sunset (Pye Records 7N 17321-A): And, let's finish off with one pretty much everybody knows. Ray and the Muswell Hillbilly Boys reminding us that whilst vast chunks of the 1960s were far more crap that you've ever been led to believe some of it was, actually, as good as your dad'll make out. Not sure what that small furry animal is doing draped around Dave Davies's chin there, but anyway ... From Beat Club. You gotta love them German kids, they really like their 'guitar-based raaaawk.'

Next time on 'Songs To Sing and Learn', some Teardrop Explodes, some Echo and the Bunnymen, a bit of Joy Divison, a splash of R Dean Taylor, a bit of The Move, a token sprinkling of Bob Marley and, if I'm feeling really contrary, Charlie Drake.

There's Only One Way To Sort This Out ... FIGHT!

Here is the news (with sarcastic comments): ITV saw its revenues decline fourteen percent in the first three months of this year, it has been widely reported. Keith Telly Topping is, frankly, not surprised by this revelation. The company said that it now intends to cut costs by a further forty million pounds in 2010. ITV, which announced six hundred job cuts two months ago, said revenues for the January to March period totalled £425m, down from £492m a year earlier. ITV's advertising sales declined fiteen percent, although it added that this was not - quite - as bad as the industry-wide average sixteen percent fall.

Sky1, meanwhile, have mounted an audacious bid to swipe one of ITV's best shows Harry Hill's TV Burp as part of a strategy to buy must-see shows established by rival broadcasters. Or 'nicking other people's hard work' in other words. Negotiations for TV Burp are believed to be ongoing with producer Avalon Television. Its loss would come as a major (for which read Brigadier General) blow to ITV, which regards the triple-Bafta-winning series as one of the jewels in its crown. An ITV spokesman said: 'We have secured Harry Hill's TV Burp throughout autumn and winter, and long may it continue. He is very popular with viewers.' Yes, mate. That's why Sky want it. You'll notice they're not trying to lure Al Murray away from you. Other way round, wasn't it? Sky1 also tried to grab the third series of Gavin and Stacey from the BBC, with a bid to Baby Cow Productions estimated at between £400,000 to £750,000 per episode. However, the BBC ultimately secured the series for BBC1. Sky director of programmes Stuart Murphy originally commissioned Gavin and Stacey when he was controller of BBC3. Sources said that Murphy is keen to 'do for Sky1 what Sky Sports has done for sport', by buying in contemporary, premium brands. A Sky spokesman said: 'Sky strives to provide our customers with the best content. We continue to invest in programming and are examining a number of high-profile programmes that have a natural fit with Sky1.' The broadcaster stressed it will also continue to develop original content.

Audiences for Katie Price and Peter Andre's ITV2 reality show grew by forty percent after the couple announced their separation on Monday. A repeat episode of the series, Katie and Peter: Stateside, broadcast on Tuesday night, attracted an average audience of 480,000. An episode in the same time slot last week was watched by 285,000 people. So, it would appear that the couple's heartfelt request for privacy is being ignored. Pity.

Here's today's 'Is it April 1 already?' story: David Tennant has signed up to present Masterpiece Contemporary, a US TV strand which showcases many British drama productions. The Doctor Who star follows past hosts such as Sir Alistair Cooke, Alan Cumming and Laura Linney. Masterpiece, which is broadcast on the Public Broadcasting Service network (PBS), returns in October with the recently-screened-on-C4 drama about the moves towards peace in South Africa, Endgame. Previous programmes include Prime Suspect, Pride and Prejudice, Lewis and House of Cards. The Masterpiece series began as Masterpiece Theatre in 1971 and famously introduced a bit of culture in the form of Upstairs Downstairs and I, Claudius to the colonies. Subsequently it split into three seperate strands - Masterpiece Classic, Masterpiece Contemporary and Masterpiece Mystery. The latter features a mixture of British detective and crime series such as The Inspector Lynley Mysteries, Agatha Christie's Miss Marple and Touching Evil.

And finally, later on tonight I'm going to be at a gala premiere at The Live Theatre in Newcastle. My excellent (if occasionally grumpy) producer, Scunthorpe Steve Drayton's one-man comedy show I'm nearly a fifty year old bloke and this is what I know about music opens for a two-night run. When his baby sister Louise gifted four-year-old Steve a toy Beatles guitar she set in motion an obsession that sound-tracked his life. From his first crush on Elton John, via Siouxsie and the Banshees to the Flaming Lips, music was his first love and it will be his last. In I’m nearly a fifty year old bloke… Steve reveals the secrets of this love, explains the speed of sound, berates Dire Straits (hey, I'm with you all the way on that score, Scunthorpe) and brings back to the stage 1980's pop phenomenon Bananarama* He will also dance in a manner that many would find embarrassing. (*Not actual size.) I understand that a few tickets may be still available for tomorrow night's performance (£10). Check here for availability. So, if you're not doing anything on a Friday night in Newcastle - and, let's face it that's perfectly probable - get yerself along.