These present, unique and singular times remain strange and often bloody disturbing for many, dear blog reader. But, it is necessary for us all to remember that some truths are, as always, self-evident.
Truly, madly, deeply self-evident.
Mind you, dear blog reader, let it be noted that From The North's daily traffic has seldom been anywhere near as busy as we have witnessed under the strain and bleak naughty oppression of near-universal lockdown. Which, of course, leads to the asking of one very obvious question; haven't you people got anything more worthwhile to be looking at on the Interweb to fill the long and boring hours of self-isolation than come here to read all this flaming nonsense? And, the answer appears to be, no, seemingly, you have not. Well, that's certainly reassuring.
There has been much discussion surrounding the phrase 'the new normal' - as opposed to the 'old normal', one supposes. This, basically, seems to be a new catchphrase which gives lots of Middle Class hippy Communists at the Gruniad Morning Star and the Independent something else to whinge about. And, similarly, some jack-booted bully-boy louse-thugs at Torygraph and the Daily Scum Mail, obviously.
There does seem to be a 'new honesty' about some aspects of this 'new normal' which can be quite refreshing - particularly in the wide and often crowded boulevard that is 'naming shit accurately.'
Though, inevitably, some assumed identities remain. Cos, that's never his real name, surely? If it is, then the 'old normal' was every single bit as weird as the 'new normal' appears to be.
Signs of 'the old normal' - as opposed to the 'new normal' - are around, however. If one knows where to look for them. For instance, there is a new Bond movie trailerout. And, it looks sodding brilliant.
Meanwhile, Greggs' are selling yer actual stotties again for the first time since March! This blogger had almost forgotten how gorgeous they taste. Belgian buns and jammy heart biscuits are also back on sale, as are the Southern fried chicken baguette and the ham and cheese baguette. Par-tee!
England can still beat Australia at cricket from seemingly impossible and unwinnable positions. Even without Ben Stokes in the side.
England's football team also continue to demonstrate their - not infrequently seen in the past - ability to play really poorly and still, somehow, get a result. As witnessed in their 'limp over the line' against Iceland.
And, of course, this blogger's back is still cattle-trucked - albeit, let it be noted, since he left work two weeks ago, there has been signs of a - very marginal - improvement in this blogger's pain management. Which is jolly curious but, nevertheless, extremely welcome.
At the arse end of August, dear blog reader, yer actual Keith Telly Topping ventured into town for the first time in a while to run some errands. Or, to be strictly accurate, limp - extremely slowly - some errands. This ended, however, with yer actual Keith Telly Topping visiting a proper, sit down therein restaurant for the first time since ... well, again, March. Did he really deserve this, dear blog reader? What do you think? Go on, guess ...
It was, just in case you're wondering, marvellously splendid! An eighteen quid five-courser at the New Canton in Gallowgate for half-price (fifty per cent off due to that whole Eat Out To Help Out malarkey). Soup, wantons and ribs, crispy aromatic duck, chilli prawns and fried rice. No wine on this occasion as this blogger is still, very much, 'on pills for me nerves.' Or something equally dramatic. He was in the company of the very excellent Malcolm Hunter. And, yes, just in case there was ever any slight doubt about the matter, both of them really did deserve that.
Though, in the interests of full disclosure, this blogger should note that he subsequently only got about four hours of sleep that night - which isn't unusual of late but, mostly, it's been due to back pain rather than a rumbly tummy caused by vicious heartburn. Still, it could've been worse. This blogger was considering having a coffee at the end of the meal before catching the bus back to the Stately Telly Topping Manor Plague House. If he had, he would probably have been up all night.
God, it was a proper nice spread, though. As, indeed, was this Salt and Chilli King Prawn obtained from the Royal Sky.
Or, this Prawn and Beef Curry with Egg Fried Rice which he picked up from the Happy Chef in Waalsend.
Or, this Chilli, Garlic and Spring Onion Shredded Crispy Beef that he got delivered from Tam's.
Or, this King Prawns with Chinese Mushrooms in Oyster Sauce which he also got from the Royal Sky.
This blogger really, really, really deserved all of them, dear blog reader. Really.
Yer actual Keith Telly Topping had occasion to pop into town again, briefly, a few days later to pay a couple of bills and transfer some of his formerly hard-earned coin from one bank account into another. The trip also included slow and awkward shopping limps to Poundland, Boots, Marks & Spankers, Wilkinsons and Morrisons. Keith Telly Topping was most disappointed to discover, however, that the New Canton, the restaurant he went to - and so enjoyed - a few nights previously doesn't open but one lunch time each week. It's Friday. And this was a Friday. What's that all about? So, on that particular occasion, this blogger was forced to do without. And, he'd've really deserved it if only he'd got the opportunity to have it.
And now, dear blog reader ...
The Bridge series two. Still the best of the four, by a distance.
The long-awaited return of Qi XL.
The general outputs of BBC4, Sky Arts, Yesterday, Sky Nature, Crime+Investigation, Eden, PBS America and Sky Documentaries. Because TV in which you might, actually, learn something is never a bad thing; whatever the average scum tabloid louse may opine to the contrary (slight return).
Theatre of Blood.
I Hate Suzie.
Budgie. ('There are two things I hate in life, Budgie and you're both of them!')
The Manchurian Candidate. (The 1962 version, obviously rather than the flawed-and-not-particularly-interesting remake.)
The Third Man.
Doctor Who.
More Doctor Who.
More Doctor Who.
A Matter Of Life & Death. (Still, in this blogger's opinion, the greatest film ever made. Bar none. And, you should probably take this blogger's word of it, dear blog reader, Keith Telly Topping is, after all, a highly respected author, journalist, broadcaster and bloggersationisms-type-person, he clearly knows what he's talking about.)
Buffy The Vampire Slayer.
Even more Doctor Who.
Two Weeks To Live. (It got some dodgy reviews from professional media whingers but, this blogger thought the opening episode was really rather good.)
Peter Sellers on Parkinson.
Orson Welles on Parkinson.
Line Of Duty series four.
True Detective.
The West Wing.
These, meanwhile, form the current Stately Telly Topping Manor Plague House reading list.
And with that necessary round-up of the latest malarkey in this blogger's sick, sore and tired existence, dear blog reader, yer actual Keith Telly Topping is now off for a nice, luxurious lie down. Because, he really deserves one, you feel me?
From The North will, hopefully, return with something a bit more substantial and thought-provoking when this blogger returns to the 'old normal'.
From The North will, hopefully, return with something a bit more substantial and thought-provoking when this blogger returns to the 'old normal'.
