Thursday, April 07, 2011

Reach For The Bright Side

Royle Family star Caroline Aherne is to return with her first new comedy series in a decade - The Security Men. The four-part ITV sitcom, which was first announced as being 'in development' last August, will feature Ashes to Ashes star Dean Andrews and veteran comic Bobby Ball as Ray and Duckers. It follows them on the security guard night shift at a shopping centre in Manchester, where they spend most of their time trying to avoid work. So, Nightingales: The Next Generation, basically! Excellent. The comedy - to be broadcast next year - also features Mrs Brown's Boys' Brendan O'Carroll and Early Doors actor Peter Wight. Take Me Out host and terminally unfunny professional Notlobber Paddy McGuinness also appears as a policeman. Caroline herself is not scheduled to appear on-screen - although a cameo appearance has not been ruled out. It is her first new comedy series since BBC2's Dossa and Joe in 2002 - and she co-wrote it with Jeff Pope. An hour-long pilot episode has already been filmed with the rest of the series to be shot this summer.

And, speaking of crusty old gnarled comedy veterans, Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmondson are working on what is described as 'a slapstick sitcom' set in an old people's home. Grumpy auld recidivist Edmondson told the Sun: 'Rik and I have an idea for a sitcom for when we are very, very old. We want to set it in an old people's home thirty years hence.' He added the series 'will be like Bottom, but we will be hitting each other with colostomy bags.' Which sounds just like Bottom, actually. Wonder if they're planning on calling it The Not-So-Young Ones? The pair have not worked together since their 2003 stage show Bottom Tour, but were recently reunited on BBC1's Let's Dance for Comic Relief, when Ade performed the Dying Swan – before being attacked by Rik. Edmondson's new plans seem to be something of a u-turn from last year when he said that he had become 'fed up' with comedy for more than a decade. At the time, he said: 'My heart's not really been in it. I enjoyed my time doing comedy but I just had enough.'

Anthony Horowitz has said his new drama Injustice will be shown on ITV in either May or June - the latter looks the more likely, possibly the week after the Britain's Got Talent finals. And now, dear blog reader, it's time once again for another edition of that great national pass time, Daybreakwatch.

Ratings for the last nine episodes of the flop ITV breakfast show have been as follows:-
28 March 742k
29 March 772k
30 March 808k
31 March 751k
1 April 699k
4 April 745k
5 April 804k
6 April 751k
So, about this corner which you claimed that you were turning a few weeks again, Ms Bleakley...?

Radio Times last week published a couple of tight-arsed letters of complaint about Christopher and His Kind. You know, 'How dare you show that nice Doctor as a screaming poofter,' kind-of thing. But, special bonus points go to one Matilda Walter on London, N1 who wrote: 'With semi-naked Matt Smith and Douglas Booth spread across RT for the feature on Christopher and His Kind I couldn't take my eyes off the photo. But, the more I ogled the more disappointed I became - Phillips decking screws used in a drama set before 1933? Strange, as the screw type, designed by Henry F Phillips, was not available until 1937 - and even then its first general used was in the manufacture of General Motors' Cadillac vehicles in the United States. Perhaps Smith has absorbed too much TARDIS time energy and created a temporal anomaly.' Matilda, seriously, I love you and I want you to have my babies.

Arthur Darvill has won over many Doctor Who fans playing Amy Pond's devoted boyfriend, Rory Williams. The pair are now enjoying life as newlyweds aboard the TARDIS and returning for his second series later this month, in an interview with the Unreality TV blog Arthur reveals just how much his character has grown, what being married to the feisty ginger companion is really like and how filming on a pirate ship made his childhood dreams come true. Out of all the series' characters, Rory has probably been on the greatest journey since first stepping into the TARDIS in The Vampires of Venice. 'Last series I think Rory felt like he was on the outside looking into this world he was desperately trying to save Amy from,' Arthur acknowledges. 'But he's very much inside that world now and married life has stopped him feeling so unworthy. He feels that he's proved himself.' When it comes to working with Matt Smith and Karen Gillan, Arthur claims he's having a ball. 'They’re brilliant,' he notes. 'It's lucky we all get on so well. The most fun I have is when all three of us are together; it's a really good working relationship. It helps that we all came on board together because we’re growing as a unit and keeping each other on our toes.' Doctor Who is known for its impressive guest stars and the new series is clearly no exception, featuring the likes of Hugh Bonneville, Michael Sheen and David Walliams. Alex Kingston also makes a welcome return, one which Arthur is particularly happy about: 'Alex is back, which makes the team feel complete. She's just a dream to work with and is hilarious on set.' But Arthur isn't daunted at the prospect of working with such familiar faces. 'Funnily enough I get more nervous meeting writers than actors,' he suggests. 'Even more so with Neil Gaiman as he's just brilliant.' This year, the cast briefly swapped rainy Cardiff for the deserts of Utah to film the opening two-part story. 'Filming in America was amazing, especially going to an area of America which I've seen in so many movies,' Arthur adds. Asked what his highlight of the series has been, Arthur reveals that it was filming the third episode. 'Going on a pirate ship was unbelievable; it felt like we were on a movie set.' But it wasn't so much the pirates that Arthur was worried about - instead it was Karen Gillan let loose with a sharp object. 'Karen got to do a massive sword fight and I thought she was going to have someone's eye out at the very least! But she was actually pretty good, I think she'd been practising.' It appears that Amy's swashbuckling skills could come in very useful this series as Arthur suggests the monsters waiting for the audience are scarier than ever before. 'The ambition of the show has grown, there are a lot of surprises this year,' he says. 'It's not necessarily a big monster on the screen, but ideas that are presented in episodes one and two that keep building throughout the series.' One monster stands out in particular for him. 'I think The Silence are really going to blow people's socks off. They're terrifying.'

Alex Kingston, meanwhile, says that she loved slapping Matt Smith while filming the new series. The actress - who plays the mysterious time-travelling archaeologist River Song - got to both hit and kiss Matt in scenes for the upcoming season and she admits that she actually preferred the former to the latter. Alex said: 'I had to slap him many times, and his cheek was getting redder and redder and he was getting irritated. He lost his sense of humour I think after slap five, I don't pull my punches. But the kiss was nice too.' The character has appeared in several episodes of the popular family SF drama, and her true identity will finally be revealed during this year's episodes. But Alex herself is one of the few people who already know just who, exactly, River is. She was the only major cast member to be told the secret by showrunner Steven Moffat. She explained: 'I knew a lot before any of the others and I didn't reveal a thing.' Alex often gets approached on the street by fans who want to tell her their own theories, which can, she notes, be quite outlandish. Referring to her encounters, she revealed: 'I haven't had grandmother yet! I've had a lot of people actually say, "Is she The Doctor from the future." But that would be very weird. I think The Doctor will always stay male, I can't imagine him as a woman. But there's so much going on with her, can she be trusted? And is what she says true or false? You just don't know with her.'

Matt Smith said he does not want to give up his role as the Time Lord anytime soon. The actor is currently filming the end of the second half of the latest BBC1 series recently played novelist Christopher Isherwood in a BBC biopic. But he said of his most famous role: 'It's certainly not a part I want to give up anytime soon, and I love playing it.' He revealed: 'I kind of take it a year at a time and I finish shooting this season in a month so thereafter we'll wait and see. There's a Christmas special so I guess that means that everyone will sit down and figure it out but it's certainly something I'm keen to be involved with because I love it, I love playing the Doctor - it's a thrilling job.' Matt added that he also has some scritpwriting ambitions to be fulfilled on the show: 'I'd quite like to write a script one day, because I’m learning a lot from Steven [Moffat]. You've got to be really good to write a Doctor Who script, so it’s a long way off, but one day.'

And, completing in our massive round up of the entire current TARDIS crew(!), Karen Gillan has told the Daily Record that viewers are in for a major shock when Doctor Who returns at the end of the month. Karen says that she was even given a script with a dummy ending by a production team determined to keep the closing scenes of the show's mid-series cliffhanger a secret from fans. Karen said: 'Normally cliffhangers are our lives being threatened. With this one, three lives are changed forever.' She added: 'Even I got given a dummy ending to episode seven and it was only at the read-through that writer Steven Moffat took me, Matt and Arthur into the corridor to read the proper version on his laptop. We then all paced around going "Oh my God!" It's brilliant and viewers will just have to tune in to find out more. It certainly provides a fantastic cliffhanger to see us through until autumn.' However, it was the change of scene to the American wilderness that sparked mischief among the cast. As noted, the cast and crew decamped from Cardiff to the wilds of Utah for filming, only the second times in its history that the show has ever shot footage in America. Karen said: 'We genuinely messed around all day. But I think that works, because as a viewer I'd like to see the Doctor, Amy and Rory having fun. Of course, we are serious when we need to be, but in general we clown around between takes and I think that helps to create chemistry on screen. Matt has also taken to hiding in my trailer and I'll go in, humming to myself, and then he'll just jump out on me. The first time he did that, he scared me so much I actually fell over. He also has an annoying habit of filming me when I fall asleep or while in make-up in the mornings, and it's a hideous sight - I'm not going to lie. Arthur eggs him on and the pair of them gang up on me. But I give as good as I get. Although it's brilliant when Alex Kingston is around because she knows how to handle them.' The new series kicks off in the Utah desert's Monument Valley, one of America's most identifiable national parks, which is still officially the reservation of the Navajo. It's also the setting for numerous classic John Ford western films as well as more recent movies like Back To The Future III, Forrest Gump and Wild Wild West. Karen said: 'Filming in Utah was so much fun and I spent a lot of time running around the desert. The scenery was amazing and it simply wouldn't have looked the same if we had filmed it in Cardiff against a green screen. The desert backdrop really gives the opening two episodes an epic feel.' The climate can be wild and unforgiving. Karen added: 'We were all thermalled up and I had on two pairs of trousers and four tops. Then the sun would come up, making it blistering hot, and we'd all peel off the layers.' But even in the middle of nowhere, the Time Lord couldn't escape a species common to our galaxy. Fans. Matt said: 'It was very strange. We were in the middle of the desert and suddenly there was a lady with a campervan and deck chair, holding up an iPad with a moving screen which read "autograph please." I mean, how on earth she knew we were in the middle of the desert I have no idea, but it certainly proved her dedication to the show. The landscape was incredible. I think being in America, filming in that terrain, has definitely added a sense of scale and a filmic quality to this series. It was an amazing experience and a brilliant laugh. Karen, Arthur and I spent a lot of time mucking around annoying each other.' Hugh Bonneville, Lily Cole, Suranne Jones and Life on Mars' Marshall Lancaster are among the guests in the new series, which sees the team head back in time to 1960s America and to the high seas of the 1600s. Karen said: 'The great thing about this show is that it attracts big names. Everyone who comes on set is excited to be part of the Doctor Who experience. These actors could all be off doing other things, but they choose to come on the show because they are either fans or their kids are, so it makes the whole experience enjoyable. It's also a wonderful experience to watch these people at work - like an acting masterclass every episode. I had a brilliant time filming with Hugh Bonneville, swinging across a pirate ship was a particular highlight and I loved doing the sword fight. I literally picked up the sword and started learning moves with a stunt guy - in fact I loved it so much that I want to take it up as a hobby. Luckily I caused no major injuries, although I did collide with Arthur at one point, but that was his fault.' The monsters this time round, are, of course, the scariest yet, if you believe The Lord Thy God Steven Moffat. He advised: 'Very scary. I don't want to say more - there's The Silence, The Siren, The Gangers, all these are more than just freaky costumes and masks. And just wait till you meet Idris in episode four.' But that's nothing. The Doctor's living with a scarier combination - a married couple. Moffat added: 'The big difference is how long the Doctor is hanging around his companions. He normally gets them when they're young, and leaves them while they're young. He's careful to put them back where he found them, before he screws up their lives. But here he is, married couple on board and he wonders if it isn't time to get out of the way - before something really bad happens.'

And, finally for our Doctor Who round up, just a brief confirmation of two bits of news which you may have missed. The titles for episodes three (the pirate one) and seven (the mid-series cliffhanger) have been confirmed as The Curse of the Black Spot and A Good Man Goes To War respectively. Episode six, the second part of Matty Graham's two-parter has also had its title revealed, The Almost People.

Leslie Ash has spoken out for the first time against the Metropolitan police for failing to investigate claims that a private investigator working for the News of the World hacked into her mobile phone, even though the force had held evidence since 2006 that he had targeted her along with her husband and two children. Ash told the Gruniad: 'I feel I've really been let down. I can't understand their behaviour at all.' Ash and her husband, the ex-footballer Lee Chapman, are suing the News of the World for breach of privacy after the Met confirmed in January that in a 2006 raid on the investigator, Glenn Mulcaire, it had seized notepads in which he had recorded their mobile phone numbers and those of the couple's two sons. Despite holding that information, which Ash said also includes phone numbers for her GP, bank and a teacher at her sons' school, Scotland Yard failed to tell her that she was a potential target. 'The police were actually withholding evidence,' she said. 'I've been brought up to trust the police. It's not a good time for the police at the moment.' Ash became a regular in the headlines when she appeared in the hit 1990s sitcom Men Behaving Badly, but tabloid pressure reached its peak when botched cosmetic surgery left her with inflamed lips in 2003 and, again, when she contracted a form of MRSA in hospital the following year and she was seriously ill. Now Ash says that messages left on mobile phones belonging to her and her children at that time were used by newspapers. 'That really came home to me because that is not in the public interest,' she said. 'The most painful things had been said, while I was in hospital, to my kids, to my husband [along with] things really personal to my agent – who wasn't just my agent, she was my friend. All those worries about if I was going to work again, if I was going to walk again … I just feel horrible thinking that someone's been able to access my private messages.' Scotland Yard finally confirmed that Ash was 'a person of interest' to Mulcaire three months ago. Her lawyer had written to the police last October after she sought a court order forcing the Met to make that information available. This week, Ash accused the Met of deliberating seeking to suppress the truth about the scale of phone hacking at the News of the World by refusing to notify hundreds of potential victims following its original 2006 inquiry, which resulted in the arrest and conviction of Mulcaire and the former News of the World royal editor Clive Goodman. 'They are hand in hand with the press,' Ash claimed. 'We're trying to break through into something that's basically corrupt.' Referring to evidence given to parliament in 2003 by Rebekah Brooks, the former Sun and News of the World editor who is now chief executive of the papers' parent company, News International, Ash said: 'Rebekah said that day: "Yes, we have paid police before." That shouldn't happen. You should be able to trust the police. Who do you trust if you can't?' A new police phone-hacking investigation, Operation Wheeting, is currently under way. On Tuesday the Met made the first arrests in the case since Goodman and Mulcaire were charged nearly five years ago. The News of the World's chief reporter, Neville Thurlbeck, and the paper's former assistant editor, Ian Edmondson, were released on police bail without charge. Both men deny any wrongdoing. However, Ash said she was not encouraged by the arrests. 'They're just scapegoats. That's all it looks like to me. The News of the World are going to try and give sacrificial lambs here. They will be happy to draw the line under those two arrests and the police will as well.' News International executives insisted after Goodman was jailed that he was the only reporter at the paper who had acted illegally, paying Mulcaire additional money on top of his six-figure News of the World contract to hack into messages. The newspaper essentially stuck to that defence for three years until the weighed of evidence forced it to change its story. It has since abandoned this 'one lone rogue reporter' defence in the face of numerous claims made in civil actions brought by a series of public figures that others at the paper were involved. Mulcaire typically wrote the first name of the journalist who had commissioned him to target a particular public figure in the top left-hand corner of his notes. The fact that he wrote 'Clive' in his notepad helped to convict Mulcaire and Goodman of illegally accessing voicemails belonging to members of the royal household. Ash said the notes Mulcaire made about her and her family, along with many of their associates, included the name of a person whom they believe is a News of the World journalist who has been publicly linked with the hacking affair but has not been arrested thus far. Ash said she had feared for years that underhand tactics were being employed by newspapers, including the News of the World's rivals. Her suspicions were first aroused when a series of intensely private stories about her family life began to appear. But, initially she feared that these stories had been leaked from within her circle of friends. 'Certain things that happened at strange times that no one else could have known – especially when I was in hospital. Something came out in the newspaper that no one would have known apart from this friend of mine. When it came out in the paper I obviously thought it was them who had sold it.' Ash is one of around twenty people who are currently pursuing the News of the World in court, along with other well-known figures including the actors Steve Coogan and Sienna Miller, the former Sky Sports presenter Andy Gray and the football agent Sky Andrew. 'The way they've done the first investigation [in 2006], the police were obviously trying to keep something very quiet,' Ash said. The former Met police assistant commissioner Andy Hayman, who was in charge of the original inquiry, claimed there were only 'a handful' of victims. The Met's acting assistant commissioner John Yates, who reviewed new evidence unearthed by the Gruniad in July 2009 before concluding there were no grounds for a new inquiry, has said on several occasions that the number of people targeted was low. Referring to the number of people suing, Ash said: 'Now there are [dozens] of people involved they are not going to be able to keep it quiet because for one person to take the News of the World to court – to sue – would be almost impossible, but now thousands of people are.' Ash also criticised her mobile phone provider, Vodafone, who she says refused to hand over mobile phone records dating back to the time of Mulcaire's alleged offence. 'Vodafone weren't really helpful to start with. I contacted them. They said I had to get the police to contact our solicitors [to confirm they could release the records]. The police weren't giving us any information so how were we going to get them to help us?' Friends had warned Ash that hacking was commonplace. 'Someone within the PR business just said get yourself a pay-as-you-go phone because they are listening in to things. So we just stopped having conversations on the phone, but it's quite difficult.' She conceded that she gave interviews to the press during the course of her work as an actor and TV personality but said that her treatment in the media was 'almost like [being] eating alive.' She added that her legal action was not motivated by money or a desire for revenge. 'It's not vengeance. Well, maybe a little bit. I can't lie to you. It really hurt me. Some of the stuff said has really, really hurt me. And if that's what they wanted to do then they've done it. Maybe it is a little bit of payback time. I want to make sure this is sorted out once and for all. If it is brushed under the carpet and these two guys are the only ones arrested, questioned, they will have a little sabbatical and then they will come back and start doing it again. The whole tabloid culture has got to change.'

On the matter of celebrity journalism, few can speak with greater authority than the actor Hugh Grant, who has found himself the subject of more than a few tabloid exclusives since joining the Hollywood A-list. Now the paparazzi favourite has revealed that he turned the tables on one former News of the World hack, wearing a concealed microphone to record the reporter alleging that Rebekah Brooks, the paper's former editor, 'absolutely' knew about illegal phone-hacking. Writing in this week's edition of the New Statesman, guest-edited by his former partner Jemima Khan, Grant says that he met the journalist, Paul McMullan, when his car broke down in Kent shortly before Christmas and the reporter-turned-publican, who had been following him in the hope of photographing him, offered him a lift. McMullan, formerly a deputy features editor at the News of the World, is one of a number of journalists who have spoken out publicly alleging widespread phone-hacking at the paper. Last week, Grant returned to McMullan's Dover pub wearing a wire. 'I wanted to hear more about phone hacking and the whole business of tabloid journalism,' he writes. 'It occurred to me just to interview him straight, as he has, after all, been a whistleblower. But then I thought I might possibly get more, and it might be more fun, if I secretly taped him. The bugger bugged, as it were.' McMullan told the actor that eavesdropping on phonecalls had 'started out as fun,' but after it was made illegal in 2001 to buy a digital scanner, reporters were obliged to 'find a blag to get your mobile [records] out of someone at Vodafone.'

L Scott Caldwell has landed a guest role in the eleventh season finale of CSI. The Lost actress will play the former mother-in-law of Langston (Laurence Fishburne), according to When her daughter Gloria (played by Trace Ellis Ross) gets into trouble, Caldwell's character will become involved in Langston's ongoing feud with the escaped serial killer Nate Haskell (Bill Irwin). The actress previously played the popular recurring role of Rose Nadler on Lost and has recently appeared in episodes of Southland, Grey's Anatomy and The Secret Life of the American Teenager. Her film credits include The Fugitive, The Net and Gridiron Gang.

Meanwhile Melinda Clarke has revealed details of her character Lady Heather's return to CSI. The Nikita star will reprise the role in this week's episode, which sees Heather team up with Ray Langston to investigate his link with his nemesis Nate Haskell. 'She is very educated on Langston's history with Haskell,' Clarke told TVLine. 'She knows he's struggling with this "warrior" gene and sees that something in him is absolutely boiling underneath. So, Lady Heather offers her help, unsolicited, but he's not very receiving of it.' She added: 'We're going to get really into [Langston's struggle] in the next couple of episodes.' Clarke also hinted that her character will clash with Sara (Jorja Fox) over their shared past with Gil Grissom. 'You might feel a little bit of cattiness,' she laughed. Executive producer Carol Mendelsohn had previously revealed Haskell would return to CSI for two episodes during May.

Keeley Hawes has confirmed on This Morning that filming for the next series of Upstairs Downstairs will take place from October to March. So it appears as though the earliest possible time of the year it can be shown on TV will be Spring 2012.

The BBC proposal to repeat what they describe as 'highend drama' in daytime or overnight would barely save any money, Broadcast magazine has claimed. The idea has been presented as one of the stronger themes of the corporation’s wide-ranging Delivering Quality First strategy, aimed at identifying £1.3bn worth of savings. However, 'industry insiders' - nameless, of course - have warned that royalty payments for actors in 'high-profile series' could be prohibitively high, and would equate to far more than the budget of the BBC's daytime content. The first time a drama is transmitted, the actors’ royalties are estimated to equate to around a third of the cost of the episode; the royalties for a first repeat are thought to be more than half of that original amount. Royalty payments are reduced if the show is repeated outside prime time but the cost of re-screening drama would still be higher than programme budgets for traditional daytime and overnight content. Under the BBC’s terms of trade, it would also have to pay producers a further four per cent of the show’s licence fee for any repeats which are not part of the package agreed at the point of commission. Additional costs may also arise from music and the writer. Nevertheless, the idea has gained traction at a senior level as it is far less controversial than a straightforward cutting of services, such as local radio, or replacing BBC2 Daytime with rolling news. Speaking at a DQF briefing a fortnight ago, director general Mark Thompson highlighted BBC1 drama South Riding as an example of the sort of programme which could be aired again 'on BBC2 the following Wednesday and perhaps a couple of airings on BBC3 or BBC4' as a suitable option. 'The public tell us it is very different to be given two or three chances to see a programme in its first week than to be told you are going to live on repeats from two or three years ago,' he said. DQF workstreams have been charged with stripping out up to thirty million pounds from daytime and overnight budgets. Thompson will outline which cost-saving measures are being actively pursued this week.

Mary McDonnell has been promoted to the regular cast of TNT drama The Closer. The former Battlestar Galactica favourite plays Sharon Raydor on the crime drama having appeared in the shows fifth and sixth seasons on a recurring basis. However, for the seventh season she will be a fully fledged regular, reports TVLine. The seventh season will include the departure of actress Kyra Sedgwick and will be the show's final season. However, a spin-off, Major Crimes, has been ordered by TNT. As yet no further details have emerged regarding the spin-off. Early on though there was some debate that McDonnell's character could be the focus of it.

Sky has announced that it will give a world premiere to 3D film footage shot by the Nazis. WII in 3D will be broadcast on Sky 3D on 26 May. The co-production for Sky 3D and History features stereoscopic film found in the archives of the Imperial War Museum. The hour-long programme features the 1943 film Die Flakschiesslehre (Anti-Aircraft Firing Instructions), which shows 3D footage of Nazi soldiers running and firing their weapons. It will be broadcast together with the Nazis' instructions on how to view the film, allied reconnaissance photos and colour 3D images taken by a civilian in occupied France. John Cassy, director of Sky 3D, said: 'This is truly a remarkable find - seeing the 3D footage made by the Nazis and the accompanying films on how to use them is a compelling insight into how the medium was used during the war. 3D is often seen as a modern innovation, but this incredible footage reminds us that it's been around for decades - we're completely thrilled to be working with IWM to remaster it for the Twenty First Century.' Earlier this year, Australian director Philippe Mora revealed the discovery of two thirty-minute 3D movies made as Nazi propaganda while researching his How The Third Reich Was Recorded documentary.

Katie Price’s new series for Sky Living continued to shed viewers. Sky Living observational documentary cum vanity project, Katie, fell further in the ratings with two hundred and seventy four thousand viewers watching across 9pm hour. The figures were down on last week’s audience of three hundred and six thousand, according to overnight Barb figures. A further one hundred and four thousand viewers watched on time-shifted Sky Living+1. The show managed a debut of four hundred and ten thousand on 22 March, way above the slot average for Living but a far cry from the million-plus audiences that the reality regular was used to pulling for a range of similar fly-on-the-wall series for ITV2.

Lastly today, we've got the latest Keith Telly Topping's 45 of the Day. This one's a song of uplifting joy and utter happiness from The Polyphonic Spree which is absolutely guaranteed to put a smile on the face of even a professional misanthrope. Well, at least in theory. So, since we've got more than a few of those round these parts, let me know if the theory holds up, will you kids!