Monday, May 20, 2013

Pure Dead Brilliant

The Lord Thy God yer actual Steven Moffat had already, sort of, unofficially announced it earlier in the week, but the BBC has now, officially, confirmed that Doctor Who has been re-commissioned for a new series, the eighth since the popular long-running family SF drama returned to TV in 2005 and the thirty fourth since the shown began in 1963. The programme's official website has revealed that The Moffinator his very self, the show’s lead writer and executive producer, is 'already working' on the new series and 'plotting a new run of adventures' for The Doctor and Clara. The series is expected to start filming towards the end of 2013 which suggests a transmission date of Autumn 2014. The website also looks ahead to the fiftieth anniversary later this year and promises 'big plans' are being put in place which will 'well and truly celebrate' The Doctor's half-centenary and no mistake. 'Your calendars should already have a big red circle around the 23 November because that's when the TARDIS returns in the frankly Earth-shattering adventure that celebrates half-a-century of Doctor Who' it says. 'This 3D special stars Matt Smith and Jenna Coleman with David Tennant and John Hurt, seen briefly at the end of The Name Of The Doctor. Billie Piper returns alongside Jemma Redgrave, Joanna Page and The Zygons!' Tasty. There will, of course, also be a drama about the creation of Doctor Who itself, An Adventure in Space and Time. Written by yer actual Mark Gatiss it charts the programme from its origins into a worldwide cult. 'And given that this year's Christmas Special will be rounding off such a spectacular year we're sure it will kick off The Doctor's next half-century in style.'
The Name of the Doctor achieved an AI score of eighty eight. Doctor Who, as usual, scored higher than most of Saturday's output with only Dad's Army on BBC2 scoring higher with eighty nine. Britain's Got Toilets had an AI of eighty four with the 2013 Eurovision Song Contest scoring but sixty nine, presumably from disgruntled Bonnie Tyler fans. 'Did my best.' Pfft. Loser. Anyway, the score of eighty eight is the highest audience appreciation index score for Doctor Who since the season opener, Asylum of the Daleks, which scored eighty nine. And, if you don't know what the AIs are and what a good score is by now, then Google it.
'Doctor Who centred on the idea that when you are a Time Traveller, your own final resting place is the one to avoid,' wrote the great Keith Watson, the Metro's TV reviewer about Saturday's series finale. 'Well, there's a relief: Doctor Who still has the power to get me all emotional. Floating the haunting suggestion that everyone, even an apparently immortal Time Traveller, has a grave out there, The Name Of The Doctor was a climactic episode that served as a timely reminder that beneath all the rushing about and alien in-jokery, Doctor Who can turn its hand to philosophical concerns. Playing out like those imagined last moments when your life flashes before your eyes, it centred on the idea that when you are a Time Traveller, there is one place you must never go: your own final resting place. It was a daring conceit, given that Doctor Who is not about to depart Planet BBC1 any time soon.' And, once again, Watto proves he's the best reviewer currently scribbling down his top telly tips on a regular basis. Present company very much included.

The 2013 British Soap Awards was the most watched programme on Sunday night, according to overnight figures. Which is, frankly, a staggering dreadful indictment of what a right shite state of affairs Sunday night's telly was. Hosted by odious waste-of-space Phillip Schofield (tragically minus both Gordon the Gopher and, indeed, Ze List), an average of 5.42 million sad crushed victims of society tuned in to see Coronation Street dominate the awards at 8pm on ITV. Earlier, Stephen Mulhern's Catchphrase was seen by 4.45m at 7.15pm. On BBC1, Countryfile brought in 5.42m at 6.30pm, followed by Antiques Roadshow with 5.39m at 7.30pm. Jason Isaacs drama Case Histories returned for its second series with 4.86m at 8.30pm. The final Match of the Day of the season had an audience of 3.46m at 10.30pm. BBC2's new series Ice Age Giants with yer actual Alice Roberts her very self attracted 1.97m at 8pm, while Australia with Simon Reeve was seen by 2.72m at 9pm. On Channel Four, World's Weirdest Weather brought in 1.32m at 8pm. A screening of the movie The Social Network grabbed 1.14m at 9pm.

Meanwhile here's the final, consolidated ratings for the Top Twenty Nine programmes week-ending 12 May 2013:-
1 Britain's Got Toilets - Sat ITV - 11.94m
2 Coronation Street - Fri ITV - 9.12m
3 The Voice - Sat BBC1 - 8.86m
4 EastEnders - Thurs BBC1 - 7.88m
5 Emmerdale - Thurs ITV - 7.25m
6 The Apprentice - Tues BBC1 - 7.25m
7 Doctor Who - Sat BBC1 - 6.64m
8 The Suspicions Of Mister Whicher - Sun ITV - 6.56m
9 Scott & Bailey - Wed ITV - 6.39m
10 The British Academy Television Awards - Sun BBC1 - 6.19m
11 BBC News - Sun BBC1 - 5.76m
12 Countryfile - Sun BBC1 - 5.73m
13 Casualty - Sat BBC1 - 5.62m
14 Ten O'Clock News - Tues BBC1 - 5.22m
15 Have I Got News For You - Fri BBC1 - 5.20m
16 FA Cup Final: Sheikh Yer Man City Versus Relegation-Haunted Wigan Not-Very-Athletic - Sat ITV - 5.07m
17 Paul O'Grady: For The Love Of Dogs - Thurs ITV - 5.04m*
18 Murder On The Homefront - Thurs ITV - 5.04m*
19 Holby City - Tues BBC1 - 4.64m
20 Six O'Clock News - Wed BBC1 - 4.58m
21 Watchdog - Wed BBC1 - 4.45m
22 Not Going Out - Fri BBC1 - 4.44m
23 Life of Crime - Fri ITV - 4.38m*
24 The Graham Norton Show - Fri BBC1 - 4.17m
25 Off Their Rockers - Sun ITV - 4.15m*
26 Catchphrase - Sun ITV - 4.11m*
27 All Star Mr & Mrs - Wed ITV - 4.04m*
28 The ONE Show - Thurs BBC1 - 4.07
29 Vicious - Mon ITV - 3.828
Programmes marked '*' do not include HD figures.
Scotland Yard has been accused of covering up intelligence that could have been of vital importance to the Leveson inquiry which allegedly claims that a very senior police officer was leaking information to the Scum of the World. By the Gruniad Morning Star if not, necessarily, by anyone that actually matters. Taking a moment off from their latest shitehawk Jeremy Clarkson 'exclusive' the Gruniad state that 'a year after a series of current and former Metropolitan police commissioners gave evidence to the inquiry, Robert Jay QC, counsel to the inquiry, confirmed that Scotland Yard had claimed "public interest immunity" in relation to the internal intelligence report, written in 2006.' Asked why he did not question senior Met police who gave evidence to the inquiry, which included former commissioners Lord Stevens, Lord Blair and Sir Paul Stephenson and other senior Met officers, about this matter, Jay said that the inquiry was 'not shown' the police report until after they had given evidence. According to Monday's Evening Standard the classified document suggested the officer — who is not named 'for legal reasons', whatever the hell that means — passed the leak on to the tabloid for money. Tom Watson - Power to the People! - the Labour MP and one of the most high profile critics of the Scum of the World at the height of the phone-hacking scandal, called on Met commissioner, Bernard Hogan-Howe, and the home secretary, Theresa May, to 'urgently review' what happened. Which, of course, they're not going to so, personally, I'd've saved your breath, Tom, you're gonna get nowt out of those fekkers. He said: 'People may have forgotten there is supposed to be a part two to the Leveson inquiry. This strengthens the argument for the second part to be held after the trials [of former Scum of the World staff]. It's very clear that an intelligence document exists that should be significant in showing the relationship between very senior officer at the Met and executives at News International and I think the home secretary and the commissioner should review the file. If they have nothing to hide they should release it.' The inquiry into press ethics started in November 2011 and held evidence-gathering hearings for nine months, devoting an entire module, lasting several weeks, to examining the relationship between the press and the police. When Lord Justice Leveson finally published his report last November, he criticised the Metropolitan police for 'errors' in its handling of the phone-hacking scandal and for 'fostering a perception' that some senior officers were too close to News International. He said 'decisions made in the period 2006-2010 can be characterised as insufficiently thought through wrong and unduly defensive.' Jay, who is poised to become a high court judge, confirmed that the report was not submitted by Scotland Yard until 23 April last year. This was seven weeks after Stevens, Blair, Stephenson and other senior police officers were quizzed by Leveson. In a statement Jay said: 'The Metropolitan Police Service is claiming public interest immunity in relation to any police intelligence report, the contents of which are neither confirmed nor denied.' He added had the inquiry had a continuing 'obligations of confidence' to the police in relation to their submissions. 'These factors have at all stages limited what I am able to place in the public domain, and continue to do so,' he said. 'That the Met was apparently able to gag Jay and Leveson will raise fresh questions about the inquiry's ability to deliver David Cameron's demands when he launched the inquiry in July 2011 at the height of the phone-hacking scandal and following the revelations that murdered schoolgirl Milly Dowler's phone messages had been intercepted by the News of the World' the Gruniad thunder. At the time, Cameron told the Commons that what the country needed 'to confront is an episode that is frankly disgraceful, accusations of widespread law-breaking by parts of our press; alleged corruption by some police officers; a failure of our political system over many, many years to tackle a problem that's been getting worse.' Jay said that he had his hands tied in relation to the contents of the intelligence report. He said the Met 'first provided me with a copy of a police intelligence report on 23 April 2012', which he said was well after senior officers had testified. In a statement, Jay said he had received confidential information 'from at least two sources', including the MPS, in relation to the alleged leak but at the time had not been shown the police report. The intelligence report was written in 2006, the year it first emerged that at least one reporter on the Scum of the World was engaged in phone-hacking.

The actor Neville Buswell, who played Ray Langton in Coronation Street, has denied historic sexual allegations which have been made against him. Two women have reportedly suggested that the actor indecently exposed himself to them during the 1960s. Buswell first appeared in the Granada soap in 1966 becoming a regular and remaining with the show until 1978. He subsequently reprised the role for a one-off Las Vegas special in 1997 and later returned for six weeks in 2005, which saw his character killed off. Over the weekend it was reported in several tabloids that a fourth 'Corrie star' was being questioned by police about a sexual offence, but the person in question remained un-named. Subsequently, two newspapers reported that the actor in question was Buswell who has now spoken out to deny the allegation that he was a flasher. Buswell, who now lives in the US, He told the Mirra that he had 'never met' the woman involved and denied any wrong-doing. The tabloid quotes another, unnamed, Coronation Street actor, whom they suggest worked with Buswell, as saying: 'It's hard to believe he'd get himself in bother with anyone. The idea that he would expose himself to a young girl seems laughable.' The seventy-year old has been accused by two women about historic allegations of inappropriate behaviour dating back to the 1960s when both were girls under the age of sixteen.

Mock the Week will be back for a twelfth series in the summer, it has been confirmed. The Dara O'Briain-hosted panel show will broadcast for the first time in HD and will be filmed for the first time at London Studios on the South Bank rather than BBC Television Centre. Chris Addison, Hugh Dennis and Andy Parsons are all back as series regulars. Confirmed guests for the series include Milton Jones, Ed Byrne, Miles Jupp, Katherine Ryan, Chris Ramsey and Josh Widdicombe.

A blue plaque in tribute to the comedy double act Eric Morecambe and Ernie Wise has been unveiled at the studio where much of their later work was shot. The Heritage Foundation erected the plaque at Teddington Studios in West London. It was revealed by Morecambe's widow Joan and daughter Gail in front of guests including comedian Bernard Cribbins and presenter Michael Aspel. Morecambe and Wise's entertainment career lasted more than forty years. Studio one at Teddington was the production home for the last four series of the duo's programme. The - not as good - ITV ones, in other words. Joan Morecambe said it was a 'very special day indeed. And they were very funny,' she added. Which, they were.
Meanwhile, on a similar note, Hancock's Half Hour and Steptoe and Son writers Ray Galton and Alan Simpson are also to be honoured with a blue plaque at the hospital where they first met. The British Comedy Society will unveil the tribute at Milford Hospital near Godalming in Surrey on 1 June. It is there that Ray and Alan met in 1948, when they were both being treated for tuberculous, which required long and painful procedures and recuperation. They were the youngest patients there, and Galton had not been expected to survive more than a few days after admission. After discovering a shared love of US comics such as Jack Benny and George Burns, their first collaboration was on a series for the hospital's radio station called Have You Ever Wondered? After they left the hospital in 1950 and 1951, they decided to try to make a career as comedy writers, and came to create two of Britain's most enduring series. They were were both awarded OBEs in 2000 for their contribution to British television. Both writers – now eighty two and eighty three – are expected at the plaque unveiling along with Paul Merton, Barry Cryer and producer Beryl Vertue, who started her career in the Associated London Scripts office Galton and Simpson shared with Spike Milligan, Eric Sykes, Johnny Speight and Terry Nation.
A review of BBC Online and the Red Button service by the BBC Trust has found they are serving audiences well but there is room for improvement. The report by the BBC's governing body found that the BBC Online service 'is greatly valued and highly rated in terms of quality and distinctiveness.' But the Trust said BBC Online failed to hit its target of reaching sixty five per cent of the UK adult population by 2014. The target was set in 2011. Since then, its audience reach has risen to sixty per cent. The Trust said this represented a 'strong performance in a competitive market' and that the appreciation of BBC Online has been driven by News, Sport and the iPlayer. A spokeswoman for the BBC Trust said the failure to reach audience targets did not affect the conclusions of the review. 'These targets were set by management, not by the BBC Trust, so they were not a material consideration for our review. We appreciate the Executive's transparency in telling us that they had failed to meet their own performance targets, but the trust does not require them to set such targets.' But the governing body also found that the local and regional news pages were 'of a significantly poorer standard' compared with the UK and international news. The Trust also said BBC Online's internal search engine did not meet audience's expectations - while the breadth of BBC online content was praised, they found it could be difficult to find relevant content. The Trust has set out a number of actions to improve BBC Online, including improving navigation across the website and providing greater local services offered online. The review found that BBC Online is on track to deliver its commitment to reduce spending by twenty five per cent, a target set in 2011. BBC Online and Red Button are two of the most widely-used BBC services. BBC Online reaches around twenty two million adults each week, while the Red Button reaches over seventeen million each week. BBC Red Button consistently reaches more people each week than any other interactive TV service. Due to the reduction in capacity on some digital TV platforms, the review found the Red Button 'may struggle to meet audience expectations of providing extended events coverage on those platforms.' But the Trust is 'confident it will remain an important service for licence fee payers.'

Crucial evidence from the 1989 Hillsborough football disaster, which was undermined at the original inquest, was true, BBC's Panorama has found. An off-duty police officer has always maintained that he tried to treat a dying boy after the time at which the coroner said no-one could have survived the crush. His account cast doubt on medical evidence that supporters could not have survived beyond 15:15 on that day. Panorama's analysis of unbroadcast TV footage shows that the officer's account was true. Ninety-six fans died after they were crushed to death on 15 April 1989 during an FA Cup semi-final between Liverpool and Nottingham Forest at Sheffield Wednesday's Hillsborough stadium. The inquest at the time resulted in verdicts of accidental death but, in December last year, the High Court quashed those verdicts and ordered fresh inquests to take place. The TV footage seen by Panorama calls into question the response of the emergency services on the day. The Hillsborough Independent Panel's report into the disaster - published last year - analysed the medical evidence. It found that given proper treatment, more than half of the ninety six fans who died, including the fifteen-year-old boy, Kevin Williams, might have had a chance of survival. Off-duty Merseyside police constable Derek Bruder, who tried to resuscitate Kevin, was one of those whose evidence was undermined at the inquest. The Hillsborough disaster was recorded by seven BBC Sport cameras, and a BBC news team, while the police had CCTV and a mobile camera unit. The BBC footage was later released to the police and the families' lawyers but it was then locked away as it was considered 'too distressing' for broadcast. Some twenty four years on, Panorama has been able to analyse it. At 15:06, the match was stopped as Liverpool fans began escaping the overcrowded terraces onto the pitch. At 15:28, Kevin Williams was pulled out of gate three and laid on the pitch. Soon after, he was carried across it. A fan who tried to help him believes he was still alive. Steve Hart said: 'I remember shouting to everyone to pick him up and get down there with him, you're looking at people everywhere and you're thinking, obviously my instinct was this lad needs help.' PC Bruder was photographed kneeling on the ground giving Kevin the kiss of life, but he was not sure at what time the photograph was taken. Bruder told Kevin's mother, Anne, how he had tried to help her son. 'He told me then what he'd done for Kevin and I said "Was my son alive?" He said "Well, if you say finding a pulse with the first two fingers. If that means he was alive, then he was alive,"' she said in one of her last interviews before she died last month. But the coroner at the original inquest ruled that all those who died that day had been 'beyond help' by 15:15. This decision meant the response of the emergency services was never properly investigated. A fleet of ambulances was parked outside the ground, but crews and emergency equipment were not sent inside. Tony Edwards, who was on board one of the few ambulances that entered the ground, said: 'I always think in terms of a rail accident. Could you imagine the public outcry if all ambulance crews remained on an embankment simply because they couldn't get the ambulance down to the scene of the accident? That doesn't happen. They get out of their vehicles and if that's the length of a football pitch, they have to go, they make their way there.' Bruder said an ambulance was arriving and driving past as he treated Kevin, but he was not called to give evidence at the inquest. Instead his evidence was outlined to the coroner by a West Midlands police officer. He mentioned only two ambulances going onto the pitch, both before Kevin was carried to the end where PC Bruder tried to save him. As a result, Bruder's evidence was considered unreliable. But the footage analysed by Panorama shows that a third ambulance turned up after 15:30. Edwards was the ambulance man in the third vehicle and said that the West Midlands Police officers investigating the disaster knew this before Bruder's evidence was undermined at the original inquest. 'They had a video set up, they had photographs and they had laid out photographs as well and it was them who said to me, "I want to show you your vehicle coming on the pitch at 3:35,"' he said. The footage also shows the moment when PC Bruder goes to help Kevin. It is after 15:30 and proves that he had been right in his recollections all along. Bruder has told Panorama that he has now made a complaint to the Independent Police Complaints Commission about how his evidence was handled. West Midlands Police said it would co-operate with the IPCC and could not comment while inquiries continued. Yorkshire Ambulance Service NHS Trust said it would co-operate with any new legal inquiries.
Is it too soon for the BBC to be making jokes about the Jimmy Savile fiasco? Apparently not, as long as it's cheeky chappie Graham Norton that's making them. At last weekend's BAFTA TV awards Norton's opening monologue was run in full, although some of the gags, for example about Television Centre and 'the stories that building could tell ... well, it's shut now, let's leave it' or some stars' recent experiences ('we want to finish before any of our winners or nominees are unavoidably detained'), were rather naughty. Funny though.

Rolf Harris has performed his first live show since his arrest over historical sexual assault claims. The broadcaster and artist reportedly received multiple standing ovations from the audience at the Rolf Harris Live show in Bristol on Saturday. The eighty three-year-old entertainer thanked fans for their support. 'You've no idea what this means - for you all to turn up with such support and such enthusiasm,' he told the audience. Harris was interviewed under caution by police in November 2012 over historical allegations of sexual offences. He was then arrested and bailed in March 2013. He has not yet been charged with any offence. He also told the audience about a letter of support he had received. 'A couple called Helen and Matthew sent me a card of support which said: "It's not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain."' The show was billed as a 'rare stage appearance' and 'an opportunity to hear his classic songs'. Harris, known for his passion for art as well as his broadcasting, also painted a picture on stage. The audience gave him a standing ovation when he walked onto the stage, followed by three more during the show itself. A review by Martin Booth from the Bristol Post said 'despite the current allegations surrounding him, he proved why he has been a consummate entertainer for the last five decades. Harris deserved every single one of his standing ovations,' it added.

A celebrated Pre-Raphaelite painting which led to the marriage breakdown of its famous Victorian sitter has been acquired by an Oxford museum. The portrait of art critic and poet John Ruskin by John Everett Millais has been allocated to the Ashmolean. Ruskin and Millais were close friends but the painter fell in love with Ruskin's wife when he began the portrait in 1853. The museum said it was 'one of the most important Pre-Raphaelite paintings' that had remained in private ownership. The portrait was started during a group holiday in Glen Finglas, a remote area of The Trossachs, north of Glasgow. A museum spokesman said: 'It was during this holiday that Millais fell in love with Effie Ruskin, setting in motion the events which would break the Ruskins' marriage.' According to the museum, Millais had declared finishing the picture had become 'the most hateful task I have ever had to perform.' The Ruskins' marriage was annulled in July 1854 and a year later Millais married Effie. In 1871, Ruskin gave the portrait to his friend Henry Wentworth Acland. It hung in his house in Oxford and remained in the family until sold by his descendants at Christie's in 1965, where it was bought by the late owner. Professor Christopher Brown, Ashmolean director, called the painting 'extraordinary.' He added: 'The portrait is of supreme importance for the study of Nineteenth Century British art and it will be shown with the Museum's world-renowned Pre-Raphaelite collection.'

Azerbaijan's President, Ilham Aliyev - who is obviously not a complete and total nutter - has ordered an inquiry into why his country gave Russia nul points at Saturday's Eurovision Song Contest. Voters and the official Azerbaijan jury in fact gave strong backing to the Russian entry, according to officials. Azerbaijan's state broadcaster suggested there 'may have been voting violations.' Russia gave the maximum twelve points to Azerbaijan's entry - a ballad by Farid Mammadov. He came second behind winner Emmelie De Forest from Denmark. Russia's Dina Garipova came fifth at the event in Malmo. Azerbaijan's ambassador to Russia, Polad Bulbuloglu, disclosed that President Aliyev had 'ordered an investigation' and votes were being recounted. He added that he, personally, was absolutely bricking himself just in case The Butcher of Grozney decided to do something deranged and well-violent (he is a black belt in judo, after all) and administer some ad hoc punishment beatings in reparation for this manifest failure to show proper Goddamn respect to the country next door with lots of tanks. Or something. Mind you, he said all that very quietly. He added that 'a large number' of voters in Azerbaijan, submitting votes by text message, had supported the Russian Federation. 'According to this data, Russia should have received ten points from Azerbaijan. An announcement will be made about this tonight on Azeri Public Television.' Camil Guliyev, head of the country's state broadcaster, said the failure to give Russia any points was 'of serious concern. We sincerely hope that this incident, possibly initiated by certain interest groups, will not cast a shadow over the brotherly relations of the Russian and Azerbaijani peoples,' he said, without elaborating any further. Azerbaijan, which hosted last year's contest, has traditionally tried to maintain good relations with Moscow though there have been tensions over energy in the past which have threatened to kick-off, big-style.

Alastair Cook praised Stuart Broad and James Anderson after they hurried England to a one hundred and seventy-run victory over New Zealand in the first Test on Monday. The pace pair bowled unchanged in the second innings at Lord's, with Broad taking test-best figures of seven for forty four as the tourists were skittled for just sixty eight. Cook said: 'That was as good as any bowling I've seen in an opening spell. Jimmy and Broad have played a lot of cricket together and we are lucky to have their experience and skill.' Set two hundred and thirty nine runs to win after bowling England out for two hundred and thirteen on the fourth morning, the Black Caps' hopes were shattered in the hour before lunch as Broad claimed five wickets in his first five overs. Anderson chipped in by removing Dean Brownlie to leave the tourists reeling on an irreparable twenty nine for six at lunch. Broad described the spell as his best in test cricket but claimed Anderson's performance was more worthy. 'It's about rhythm as a bowler,' he said. 'I felt my stride pattern has been pretty good throughout the summer. I had confidence, knowing if I got the ball up there, there was enough in the wicket to help the bowlers out. I just hit my straps straight away. It happens like that. Some days you get the nicks; some days you don't. As a partnership today, the pressure Jimmy and I built, we didn't really give them anything. I've come away with seven wickets but Jimmy was the leader of this attack. He got to three hundred test wickets and got five wickets in the first innings and he should be coming up to get this man-of-the-match award.' New Zealand captain Brendon McCullum, who was dismissed by Broad in both innings, said: 'The difference between the two teams came down to that one hour of madness before lunch. You've got to give credit where credit is due and Stuart Broad's spell of bowling was high-class. He swung the ball beautifully, he was able to get the odd ball to hold its line up the slope and his lengths were impeccable. He bowled at a reasonable pace as well and we weren't able to find out a way to get through it.' Although the test was won with a day-and-a-half to spare, England's batting remains a concern after collapses in both innings. Cook admitted: 'We wanted more runs, but cricket's a strange game and sometimes results like that happen. We can improve in all areas of our game, but a one hundred and seventy-run win is a big win. At one hundred and fifty nine for two (on day three) with a lead of nearly one hundred and ninety, we were thinking "bat them out of the game", but Tim Southee [six for fifty in the second innings and ten for one hundr4ed and eight in the match] bowled outstandingly well for New Zealand.' The Kiwis must regroup for Friday's second test at Headingley, having ended the match with wicketkeeper BJ Watling nursing a knee injury and spinner Bruce Martin hampered by a calf problem. 'BJ is a bit stiff and sore, so we'll evaluate him over the next few days, and Bruce is touch and go for the next game,' said McCullum. 'We've shown we have resilience to bounce back from tough circumstances but we took a step backwards today.'

You can find the most wonderful things on YouTube, dear blog reader. Take this little masterpiece of wistful nostalgia for yer actual Keith Telly Topping's homeboy gaff, for example. Gorgeous.
And so to yer actual Keith Telly Topping's 45 of the Day. Here's Tracy and the boys with a little pop classic.

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