Monday, May 13, 2013

Only Love Can Bring The Rain

Yer actual Doctor Who will 'definitely' continue into an eighth series, The Lord Thy God Steven Moffat has said. Not that there was ever much doubt about that in the minds of anybody but the world's stupidest glakes given its worldwide sales, merchandising income and general position as one of the BBC's flagship shows. But, still, it's always nice to see such things confirmed. And, to laugh, uproariously, at the knobcheese numskullery of the world's stupidest glakes. That's entertainment. The BBC's long-running popular family SF drama's showrunner addressed 'confusion' (although whom, exactly, was 'confused' and about what, he didn't say - The Special People, probably) concerning the show's future at Sunday night's BAFTA Television Awards. 'This is a thing that just seems to have slipped by so can I say it very firmly - series eight is absolutely, definitely confirmed,' Moffat announced. 'It's [taking up] most of my time at the moment.' Moffat added that he is 'unsure' why some Doctor Who fans remained 'unclear' about the show's future. 'I get people telling me [that series eight is] not really happening,' he said, seemingly genuinely amused by such rank stupid glakery. 'It really, definitely, honestly is!' Series eight - which has been confirmed to star current companion actress Jenna-Louise Coleman although not, yet, current Doctor, Matt Smith - will follow 2013's Christmas special which will begin filming once Smudger's commitments to the movie How To Catch A Monster which he's filming at the moment. So, expect plenty more of this in 2014.
However, yer actual Moffat his very self then suggested that a fourth series of Sherlock is 'yet to be confirmed.' Moffat said that whilst he is keen to make another series of the detective drama, Benedict Cumberbatch his very self was somewhat 'premature' in announcing the show's recommissioning in March. 'We were all in a state of shock,' the writer said. 'I think BBC Drama were quite surprised.' He added: 'But, it's a huge hit - if everyone wants to do it, there'll be a fourth one. Assuming anyone survives!' Ooo, he's little tinker that Moffat, isn't he? Steven also teased a few further details about Sherlock's forthcoming third series premiere The Empty Hearse, but refused to confirm if the classic Arthur Conan Doyle villain Sebastian Moran would feature in the episode. 'We don't always stick to the [original] stories - I think you should watch!' Moffat said.
Some Doctor Who fans in America have been enjoying the series finale early due to a mistake in the American distribution of the series seven Blu-rays and DVDs. The Name of the Doctor, which concludes the current series of the show, is due for broadcast next weekend in the UK, North America, Australia, New Zealand and Canada. The episode is included in the Series Seven, Part Two set which was due to be released on 28 May. However a 'distribution error' (or 'somebody cocking up' as normal people call it) has meant that some copies of the discs have already been sent out in North America giving some fans a sneak preview of the final episode. Doctor Who's brand manager, Edward Russell, has appealed to fans who have seen the episode to keep the show's secrets you know schtum until it is broadcast at the weekend. On Twitter he said: 'Production error in US means DW blu-ray shipped early. Let's hope no one spoils it for those who want to enjoy it together on Saturday. This is like a Doctor Who version of the Dunkirk spirit! I know some folk want to boast, but it's so much better if we all watch together.' The BBC soon added on their own Twitter feed: 'Steven Moffat has promised if fans help keep the finale's secrets, we'll release a special video featuring Matt and David [Tennant] right after the episode! If everyone keeps the secrets safe until next Saturday we will release a special new clip featuring material of the Tenth and Eleventh Doctor!' I say. Isn't that's bribery? Quick, somebody call Operation Elveden!
Nightmare in Silver had an AI score of eighty four on Saturday. Doctor Who - which has been very consistent this series, all episodes scoring between eighty four and eighty seven - again pulled in a score higher than the majority of Saturday's output. The highest scoring programmes of the day were Casualty with eighty seven, Dad's Army with eighty nine and the movie Avatar with eighty six. Remember any score above approximately seventy eight is considered 'above average', and anything from around eighty five upwards is assessed as 'good.'
The BBC picked up fifteen of the available twenty four BAFTA awards at a glitterball ceremony in London on Sunday night. Yer actual Olivia Colman won two BAFTAs, taking the prizes for best supporting actress for Accused and best female in a comedy programme for Twenty Twelve. Colman said of her win for Accused: 'Turns out it does mean a lot. And I'm not going to cry.' BBC Olympic satire Twenty Twelve also won best sitcom. BBC1's Last Tango in Halifax took best drama series and Channel Four's London 2012 Paralympic Games won best sport and live event. The Paralympics beat the BBC's coverage of the Olympic opening ceremony, Super Saturday and the men's Wimbledon final. Ade Adepitan, who co-presented the award-winning Paralympic coverage with the nation's sweetheart Clare Balding, thanked Channel Four for 'allowing us to show the Paralympics warts and all' and for 'allowing us to be ourselves,' referring to his fellow Paralympic athletes. Colman thanked misery-fest Accused writer bitter old Red Jimmy McGovern and paid tribute to her co-star Anne Marie Duff, adding: 'If it's all right with everyone, it's for Anne Marie and me to share - we're Anne Malivia Colemuff, we did it together and I couldn't have done it without her to play off.' When she collected her second award for Twenty Twelve, the Broadchurch actress praised her fellow nominees Miranda Hart, Jessica Hynes and Julia Davis, joking: 'I'm not even the funniest one in our own programme.' A tearful Sheridan Smith snivelled like a good'un as she won best lead actress for ITV drama Mrs Biggs, based on the true story of the wife of the Great Train Robber. She thanked the whole team behind the show, apologising for her tears, adding: 'I can't believe it.' Ben Whishaw won best actor for his role as Richard II in The Hollow Crown on BBC2. The actor, who also played the role of Q in the James Bond film Skyfall, said: 'I'm really, really surprised, I was hoping it would be one of the others just so I wouldn't have to come up here and say anything. I'm thrilled, it's amazing - I can't believe it.' Simon Russell Beale won best supporting actor for The Hollow Crown, but was unable to attend the ceremony. Michael Palin, who was presented with a BAFTA fellowship by fellow Monty Python member and his long-term collaborator Terry Jones, said: 'This is a fantastic honour for which I feel deeply unworthy. It is an award for thoroughly enjoying myself for the last forty eight years.' He also thanked the BBC, saying: 'No other broadcasting company in the world would have given me the opportunity to do what I've done.' Balding, who won a BAFTA Special Award, said she was 'aware this would not have happened if it weren't for the magic of last summer. I'm so grateful to the BBC and Channel Four for putting me at the heart of those events,' she said, before tearfully thanking her parents and her partner. BBC2's The Shame of the Catholic Church (part of the This World strand) won the best current affairs BAFTA, beating the BBC1's Britain's Hidden Housing Crisis (a Panorama special), ITV's much-touted The Other Side of Jimmy Savile (for Exposure) and Al Jazeera Investigates' What Killed Arafat? Other winners included Murder, from The Killing director Birger Larsen, which took the prize for best single drama, beating The Girl. Cult US series Game of Thrones took the audience award. Anne Reid, who starred in Last Tango in Halifax with Sir Derek Jacobi, said: 'I'm so happy that the BBC at last have decided to do love stories about people who are over thirty five. Some of us do have quite interesting lives when we get to seventy.' BBC2's 7/7: One Day in London won for best single documentary and ITV's Hillsborough - The Truth at Last (for Granada Reports) took the BAFTA for best news coverage. Room at the Top won best mini-series, beating Accused, Mrs Biggs and Parade's End and The Great British Bake Off won best feature. Alfred Hitchcock drama The Girl had been up for four BAFTAs but left empty-handed. Graham Norton hosted the ceremony at London's Royal Festival Hall, where he won best entertainment performance for The Graham Norton show. He thanked the BBC, the guests and his team, who he joked did not enjoy being up on stage. Steve Coogan won best male performance in a comedy programme for Sky Atlantic's Alan Partridge revival Welcome to the Places of My Life. He was not there to collect his award but a message from him read: 'Thanks very much, I've got five now.' BBC3's The Revolution Will Be Televised was named the best comedy programme. And not the 'shittest, unfunniest comedy of the year', which it should have won hands down. And, I'm including everything featuring Jack Whitehall in that category. Channel Four won best entertainment performance for Alan Carr: Chatty Man while the channel's All In The Best Possible Taste with Grayson Perry won best specialist factual show. BBC1's EastEnders took best soap and best reality and constructed factual show went to Channel Four's Made in Chelsea. Girls won best international show. Doctor Who's fiftieth anniversary was celebrated during the ceremony with a montage of clips from the show and a new sketch with yer actual Matt Smith and Jenna-Louise Coleman her very self.

More people watched Olivia Colman picking up her two awards for shows she was in last year than watched her latest drama appearance on ITV at the same time on Sunday evening. BBC1's coverage of the BAFTA Television Awards draw 6.03m viewers – the annual award ceremony's biggest audience in at least six years. Earlier, The Voice shed around three hundred thousand viewers for the previous evening its first Sunday night show of the series. However, it was still, comfortably, the most watched primetime show of the evening, grabbing 7.05m at 7pm. Sir Alex Ferguson's final game at Old Trafford in charge of The Scum on Match of the Day was seen by 3.22m at 10.30pm. Yer actual Keith Telly Topping likes to believe, however, that most viewers tuned-in to watch his beloved (though still unsellable) Magpies ease themselves clear of relegation worries with a win at Queen's Park Strangers. And, simultaneously, put wretched Wigan and their odious, risible owner, deep in the clarts. On ITV, Paddy Considine's The Suspicions of Mr Whicher (which featured yet another superb performance from Olivia her very self) returned with 5.56m at 8pm. BBC2's repeat of Coast was seen by 1.68m at 7pm, whilst the documentary The Fantastic Mr Feynman had an audience of six hundred and eighty nine thousand at 9.30pm. JLS's appearance on Channel Four's Deal or No Deal attracted 1.09m sad crushed victims of society at 8pm.

And, speaking of ratings, here's the final, consolidated figures for the Top Twenty Seven shows week-ending 5 May 2013:-
1 Britain's Got Toilets - Sat ITV - 10.91m
2 Coronation Street - Mon ITV - 9.29m
3 The Voice - Sat BBC1 - 9.27m
4 EastEnders - Mon BBC1 - 8.22m
5 Emmerdale - Mon ITV - 7.14m
6 MasterChef - Thurs BBC1 - 6.53m
7 Doctor Who - Sat BBC1 - 6.47
8 Scott & Bailey - Wed ITV - 5.99m
9 Casualty - Sat BBC1 - 5.89
10 Vicious - Mon ITV - 5.78m*
11 Endeavour - Sun ITV - 5.67m*
12 The Village - Sun BBC1 - 5.48m
13 Ten O'Clock News - Thurs BBC1 - 5.33m
14 The Ice Cream Girls - Fri ITV - 5.18m*
15 Have I Got News For You - Fri BBC1 - 5.04m
16 Countryfile - Sun BBC1 - 4.98m
17 The Job Lot - Mon ITV - 4.70m*
18 Antiques Roadshow - Sun BBC1 - 4.61m
19 UEFA Champions League Live - Tues ITV - 4.51m
20 Watchdog - Wed BBC1 - 4.53m
21 BBC News - Sun BBC1 - 4.41m
22 Holby City - Tues BBC1 - 4.38m
23 All Star Mr & Mrs - Wed BBC1 - 4.31m*
24 Six O'Clock News - Fir BBC1 - 4.26m
25 Waterloo Road - Thurs BBC1 - 4.16m
26 Not Going Out - Fri BBC1 - 4.12m
27 The ONE Show - Tues BBC1 - 4.04m
Those programmes marked '*' do not feature HD figures which are unavailable at this time. BBC2's most watched shows were: Dave Allen: God's Own Comedian (3.20m), University Challenge (2.93m) and The Politician's Husband (2.59m)

Broadchurch stars Jodie Whittaker and Andrew Buchan have revealed that they are 'uncertain' if they will be back for series two. The hit crime drama will return for a second run, but Whittaker and Buchan - who played the parents of murder victim Danny Latimer - told journalists at the BAFTAs that they 'don't know anything' about the next series. 'It would be lovely to be part of it again, but it's up to Chris Chibnall, said Whittaker. 'He hasn't written it yet and he's got a lot of other projects on at the moment as well, so it's not until next year.' On following up series one's success, Buchan added: '[Chibnall has] got a big old task on his shoulders, but he's got a lot of time.' Buchan also revealed that he had been 'amused' by some of the convoluted theories invented by viewers, prior to the reveal of Joe Miller as Danny's killer. 'They'd expound this massive theory that takes ten minutes - and you'd just wanna go, "That's wrong - it's not him!"' the actor said.

Production continues apace on the forthcoming eleventh - K - series of Qi. As previous mentioned on this blog, the first three episodes were recorded on 22 and 23 April; these were Kings (with Bill Bailey, Jimmy Carr and Jezza Clarkson), Keys (featuring Bailey, Tim Minchen and Isy Suttie) and Keeps (guest starring Bill again, Jason Manford and Sarah Millican). The following week, three further episodes were recorded - Kitsch (with Jimmy Carr, Reginald D Hunter and Sue Perkins), Knits, Knots and Knackers (with David Mitchell, Ross Noble and Sue Perkins) and K-Folk (with Phill Jupitas, and first time guests Katherine Ryan and Josh Widdicombe). On 7 May this year's Christmas episode, Kris Kringle, was filmed with guests Phill Jupitas, Jo Brand and Brendan O'Carroll. Nine further episodes will be filmed over the next three weeks making, as usual, a total of sixteen. Although, whether the BBC show sixteen in one go is, as always, a debatable point - for the second series running, one episode from the previous, J, series - Just The Job (with Jeremy Clarkson, Jason Manford and Sandi Toksvig) remains to receive its first broadcast despite clips from it appearing in one of the Series J compilation episodes.

If one character seems strangely familiar in Sky Living's episode of Hannibal this week, it's because, seemingly, that's the general idea: Freddy Lounds (played by Lara Jean Chorostecki) is a loud, trashy, arrogant tabloid hack with corkscrew red hair and is - according to the Gruniad Morning Star, anyway - 'meant to resemble' well-known Crystal Tipps lookalike Rebekah Brooks. A fact which the show's creator, Bryan Fuller, has eagerly pointed out. Just how bad a person Freddy is has yet to emerge, but there will be a certain pleasure among some staff at BSkyB as its recently acquired (and much anticipated) series pours yet more vitriol on a barely disguised version of the woman who, until the phone-hacking scandal intervened, ran the other arm of billionaire tyrant Rupert Murdoch's UK empire.

Meanwhile, dear blog reader, speaking of an odious scumbag horrorshow (and drag), how about a picture of rat-faced loathsome wretched odious nasty shortarse slavver-merchant, George Formby lookalike and twat Gove looking like Gollum out of The Lord of the Rings? Your wish is my command, my precious.
Kevin Spacey, the Academy Award-winning actor and artistic director of the Old Vic theatre in London, will bring a touch of Hollywood star quality to this year's Edinburgh International Television Festival, delivering the keynote MacTaggart Lecture. Spacey, who recently starred in Netflix's online-only remake of House of Cards, said that he would be reflecting on 'a time of huge opportunity, innovation and creativity for all of us who live to tell stories and engage audiences' in his speech to senior TV industry executives in late August. He added that as a newcomer to the TV industry and an 'Edinburgh TV festival virgin', he had 'no idea' what he was letting himself in for. Elaine Bedell, the executive festival chair, said: 'Kevin Spacey has been at the centre of cultural life both here in the UK and in the States for many years – and now with House of Cards, he has shown that he is also at the forefront of new ways of delivering television content to audiences. "I've no doubt that his speech in Edinburgh will be as blistering, honest, and entertaining as any of his extraordinary performances on screen and stage.' The MacTaggart traditionally opens the festival, now in its thirty eighth year, and sets the tone for debate on issues confronting the industry during the event, which this year runs from 22 to 24 August. Previous speakers have included three of the scummy Murdoch brood (billionaire tryant Rupert, James Murodch the small and, last year, Elisabeth), the Google executive chairman, Eric Schmidt, US media mogul Ted Turner, several BBC director generals (including John Birt, Greg Dyke and Mark Thompson, twice each), the late Dennis Potter and Jeremy Paxman. The 2013 MacTaggart will be the first delivered by a Hollywood A-lister.

Now Richard Klein has quit BBC4, the word at New Broadcasting House is, according to the usual trouble-stirring bollocks by some shite or no importance in the Gruniad Morning Star - that the channel won't be run in future by another full-blown controller; instead it seems BBC2 boss Janice Hadlow, Klein's predecessor and now BBC4's interim controller, could oversee it, with a dedicated junior post for a channel editor or channel executive. Radios 1 and 2 already have similar set-ups, for 1Xtra and 6Music respectively. If Zai Bennett becomes BBC1 controller in succession to Danny Cohen (which he, hopefully, won't but it's not beyond the bounds of possibility) it will be a natural step for him, like Hadlow, to oversee both his new domain and his former one.
The riddle of Dave Allen's missing finger may finally have been solved. The comic, who died in 2005, never revealed exactly how he lost the top of his left forefinger – but instead used it to spin a number of incredibly tall tales - one involving him biting it off when he thought it was a spider crawling into his mouth. But now a childhood friend has come forward to reveal the alleged truth: that he got it caught in a cog wheel of a mill in Longford. The accident allegedly happened on 6 June 1941, when Allen, then known as David Tynan O’Mahony, was a month away from his sixth birthday. School records show he was absent for six days after that. According to classmate, one Paddy Egan, Allen's family lived in a converted mill house, and while out playing by the mill, David put his finger in an old cog wheel. One of his friends turned it, causing the injury. Egan said the youngster was keen to flaunt his wounds when he returned to school, telling the Longford Leader that when Dave returned, he 'took off the bandage and showed the piece of finger that was missing.' He also suggested that Allen always had a talent for entertaining, explaining: 'The teacher would put him up on the table and he was able to do impressions.' After he became a comedian, Allen came up with several stories to explain his injury. One version was that he had his finger in his mouth when his brother John had surprised him by snapping his jaw shut; another was that it was self-inflicted to avoid National Service and another that he kept dipping it in his whisky, which ate away at the flesh! The anecdotes were revived after BBC2 aired the documentary Dave Allen: God's Own Comedian recently.

A waxwork of Coronation Street's Ken Barlow at Madame Tussauds in Blackpool has been removed over fears of it being damaged, a spokesman has said. William Roache, the actor who plays the soap character, is currently facing two charges of rape of a girl aged fifteen in Lancashire between April and July 1967. A Madame Tussauds spokesman said it has been removed because of 'inappropriate behaviour' by some visitors. ITV is yet to comment on what is described as a 'temporary' move. Madame Tussauds said it 'never comments or moralises on the character or specific activities of those figures we include.' A statement said: 'Our figures are chosen because we, and our visitors, believe that they have made a significant impact/contribution to the world around them or in their chosen field - good or bad - or they earn their place through visitor demand, as in this case. We make no judgements on recent events, which are in any case far from clear, but over recent days we have received a number of comments relating to the continued inclusion of the figure, but even more importantly witnessed some unacceptable behaviour from a very small number of visitors.' It continued: 'We have therefore decided to temporarily remove the figure from display, and we will review this decision in the light of future events.' The spokesman would not expand on what the 'inappropriate behaviour' was or on whether the waxwork had been damaged. The Coronation Street set in the attraction on the Promenade features a number of characters from the soap, which was formerly Louis Tussards Waxworks before re-opening in 2011.

Naughty convicted liar and former cabinet minister Chris Huhne and his naughty ex-wife Vicky Pryce - also a convicted liar - have been released from prison having served part of their jail terms for perverting the course of justice. And general naughty badness. The ex-energy secretary, who admitted asking Pryce to take his speeding points for him, left prison in Gloucestershire. Economist Pryce, who was convicted after agreeing to take the points, left prison in Kent. They had both served about a quarter of their eight month sentences. Which some observers may regard as them having gotten off lightly. Huhne was released from Leyhill Prison, while Pryce was freed from East Sutton Park prison having served eight weeks of their sentence. The pair, who both live in London, will now have to wear electronic tags to monitor their movements, under the terms of the Home Detention Curfew scheme. They are still yet to hear how much they will have to pay for the cost of their prosecution. A costs hearing last month was told the Crown Prosecution Service is seeking more than one hundred thousand smackers from Huhne. However, the former Liberal Democrat politician's legal team had offered just twenty five grand. The CPS is seeking a total of just over forty eight thousand wonga from Pryce, the court heard. The speeding incident took place in March 2003 when Huhne's BMW car was caught by a speed camera on the M11 between Stansted Airport and London. He was an MEP at the time. The prosecution said that between 12 March and 21 May 2003, Pryce had falsely informed police that she had been the driver of the car, so Huhne would avoid prosecution. He was in danger of losing his licence having already accrued nine penalty points.

Channel Four has announced plans to move Countdown in its weekly schedule. The long-running quiz will be put back twenty five minutes to 3.10pm, according to the Sun. The move is said to be due to the show's drop in ratings, with viewing figures recently falling to a new low of two hundred and sixty thousand. An alleged 'insider' allegedly said: 'We moved Countdown to launch new shows in daytime and these have now finished. It is no secret that the daytime environment has changed with the BBC moving its children's shows and it is much more competitive now.' Countdown's new slot will commence on Monday 20 May 20. Nick Hewer recently dismissed rumours that Countdown could be axed, describing it as an 'institution.'

BBC Radio Stoke presenter Paula White was, reportedly, pulled from the air after appearing to be drunk on her last day. White insisted that she was 'not drunk' but had 'had a couple of drinks' to celebrate her final afternoon weekday show at the station. She began the show at 1pm on Friday of last week, but was - mysteriously - replaced just half-an-hour into the slot. White told listeners that she planned to 'P-A-R-'-Y" and play any song she wanted to during the show, before her colleague announced that she was 'not feeling well' and had gone home. 'I don't care. Whatever you want to hear this afternoon, it's like you can hear it,' she told listeners. She then talked at length about how people play her show to their dogs to help them sleep. A BBC spokesperson said: 'Paula White was unable to continue on-air yesterday as she was under par. Fortunately Den Siegertsz was on hand to take over the show and listeners were able to enjoy the usual lively mix of chat and local news. We can confirm that this was Paula's last show in the afternoon weekday slot on BBC Radio Stoke.'

One of Britain’s only alcohol-free theatres is to install a temporary bar – because Al Murray is playing there. The Babbacombe Theatre in Torquay, was built as a concert hall in 1939 without a bar, and building restrictions have prevented them from adding one. However, fear of disappointing The Pub Landlord drove owner Colin Matthews to seek out a special licence for Murray's sold-out Only Way Is Epic show this week. Matthews said: 'We decided to do this as Al's audience are likely to expect beer and the fact we don't have any may prove problematic, most especially as much of Al's act revolves around it. We are out to impress!'

Canadian commander Chris Hadfield has shared with the world his cover version of David Bowie's 'Space Oddity', which he recorded on the International Space Station. The full video was posted on YouTube shortly before Hadfield handed over command of the space station to Russia's Pavel Vinogradov. Hadfield has been on the International Space Station since December 2012 and in command of the vessel since March. He will now return to Earth. And may God's love be with, err, him.
Now, dear blog reader, here's the very lovely Chris Barron's top blog review of that wonderful Simon & Garfunkel Record Player that yer actual Keith Telly Topping attended the week before last. Top stuff from Chris, as always. Rather perceptive chap, that. He mentioned on the night that he had a lot of very personal memories of listening to Bridge Over Troubled Water as, indeed, did this blogger his very self, as I recorded at the time. It was - although this is a very hard one to quantify - possibly the best of The Record Player events so far - and it's had plenty of competition. A nigh-on perfect evening to round off a very strange day indeed. And, speaking of The Record Player, this very evening sees the last of Uncle Scunthorpe's monthly 'Monday Night: 1973' events at the Live Theatre on the Quayside. Other commitments have prevented yer actual Keith Telly Topping from making it to the last two but this one, a playing at - hopefully - full volume of The Who's Quadrophenia, wasn't something I was going to be missing for any reason other than, you know, death or the rent man. Modernists! Be there or, you know, be squaresville, baby. And of course, that's got to be today's Keith Telly Topping's (double) 33 of the Day.

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