Friday, October 19, 2012

It's A Clue To The Answer We All Chase

It has been confirmed that yer actual Neil Gaiman is among the writers for the second batch of episodes of Doctor Who's seventh season. The latest issue of Doctor Who Magazine has revealed the list of writers for the remaining episodes of the series which will be broadcast on BBC1 early next year. The list confirms Gaiman will write his second episode for the series; the writer had previously alluded at such a possibility but most media commentators (and, indeed, this blogger) assumed he was talking about writing an episode for next year's eighth series. Gaiman wrote the sixth season episode The Doctor's Wife which guest-starred Suranne Jones and won a Hugo Award and the 2011 Ray Bradbury Award for Outstanding Dramatic Presentation. The complete line-up of writers for the remaining season seven episodes is The Lord Thy God Steven Moffat his very self, who is writing the sixth episode which will be directed by Colm McCarthy and which is currently filming in London and Wales. The seventh episode will be written by [spooks] and Luther author Neil Cross and directed by Farren Blackburn. Cross has also penned the ninth episode which has been directed by Jamie Payne. Mark Gatiss has written the eighth episode, directed by Douglas Mackinnon, as well as the eleventh episode which has been directed by Saul Metzstein. Moffat and Gatiss's Sherlock partner, Stephen Thompson, has written the tenth episode which is directed by Mat King and Gaiman's episode is reported to have been pencilled in as episode twelve. The thirteenth episode is also written by Moffat his very self. Four of these episodes have already been filmed including one of Cross's. A provisional title for Gatiss's eleventh episode, has been revealed - The Crimson Horror. The episode guest stars yer actual Dame Diana Rigg and her daughter Rachael Stirling. And, if nothing else, the news about Gaiman gives yer actual Keith Telly Topping his very self another excuse to use one of his - many - 'hanging out with famous people' photographs. Which is nice. Minneapolis CONvergeance, in 2000. Good memories. Right, next ...

Emmerdale has killed off the character of Carl King in the soap's fortieth anniversary live episode on Wednesday evening. Tom Lister made his final appearance as the calculating businessman, who was twice hit on the head by a brick, first by Chas Dingle and then by Cameron Murray. Carl was initially wounded following a fight with his ex, Chas, which he started upon learning that she had lied about wanting to run away with him. Then Cameron, who'd earlier had a confrontation with Carl in the church, returned to finish off the job. Cameron found Carl and tried to force him to promise not to send raunchy photos of him and Chas to Debbie. Shrugged off by an arrogant Carl, who refused to agree to Cameron's demands, Cameron hit him from behind as he parted with the famous last words: 'I'm indestructible!' Oh, do you bloody think so? Producers of the drama had managed to keep the identity of the victim hidden since announcing that there would be a death in the episode in September. With a character set to be arrested for the crime next Tuesday, fans will now be left to wonder whether the police will find the right culprit for Carl's murder or taser a blind man by accident instead. Carl, whose funeral will take place next Friday, was the first of the King family to arrive in Emmerdale in 2004, with Lister having clocked up eight years on the soap. Chances are you'd've got less than that for your own murder, mate. Emmerdale Live also featured the births of Gennie and Nikhil's baby girl as well as Debbie and Andy's baby boy. The hour-long episode also focused on the aftermath of Declan and Katie's wedding, which culminated with a scene showing Declan's sister Megan pushing bride Katie's face into the cake. Sounds like a few weddings yer actual Keith Telly Topping has been to in his time.

An average of 9.2 million viewers watched Emmerdale's live episode, with one critic describing it as 'flawless.' Viewers were promised 'two births, two weddings and a death' in the special hour-long show, to mark the soap's fortieth birthday. Overnight viewing figures peaked at 9.7m in the final five minutes. 'An impressive acting showcase which wouldn't look out of place on the big screen or the serious stage,' wrote the Mirra's Mark Jefferies. 'Yes, it was over-the-top, but Emmerdale Live gripped me from start to finish,' he added. The soap, first broadcast - as Emmerdale Farm - in October 1972, took the lion's share of the audience on Wednesday between 19:00 and 20:00, with an average 41.7 per cent of the available audience share tuning in to the episode. BBC1's The ONE Show was its closest rival, with an average of four million viewers. However, audience figures for Emmerdale fell short of previous live episodes of both Coronation Street and EastEnders, which averaged fourteen million and fifteen million respectively for live anniversary episodes in 2010. Directed by Tony Prescott, who oversaw the fiftieth birthday live edition of Coronation Street, much of Emmerdale Live was shot outdoors in the purpose-built village in Yorkshire - at the mercy of the elements - with cast and crew dashing between locations as the action evolved. 'I was waiting anxiously for the first sign of disaster. But there was nothing,' wrote the Torygraph's Rachel Ward. 'Luckily for Prescott, the seventy-strong crew and the sixty one cast members, it was flawless.' Typically, indoor Emmerdale scenes are shot at the ITV studios in Leeds, but the logistics of the live episode demanded that the entire show was shot on site, using interiors constructed especially for the anniversary edition. 'It was all very over-the-top with some of the minor characters giving stagey performances, but Tom Lister [Carl King] and Lucy Pargeter [Chas Dingle] impressed, helping to slowly build up the tension to the death scene,' added Ward. 'Fireworks provided a fitting conclusion to the evening's events on-screen and off.' The live episode involved twenty seven cameras - all controlled and edited in the same giant scanner truck - three hundred and fifty extras and one hundred and ten hours of rehearsal. However, Radio Times's David Brown was 'startled' by the violence of the show: 'You sit down with the family to watch a special birthday episode of a pre-watershed soap and what do you get? Attempted rape in a campervan and death by polystyrene brick,' he whinged. 'If I were to be mean and rank this special against recent live editions of Corrie and EastEnders, then I don't think it quite had the tension and pace of its contemporaries. At times, almost too much seemed to be happening, the constantly shifting focus robbing some scenes of their dramatic potential.' But he applauded the performance of Lister, whose death brought the show to a memorable conclusion. 'As Carl lay lifeless on the floor in those dying seconds, it really did feel like the end of an era.

The very excellent Adam Hills has signed a one year deal to appear exclusively on Channel Four. 'The Paralympics is one of my favourite events in the world. When Channel Four offered me the chance to cover it with The Last Leg, I jumped at it,' noted Adam. Shouldn't that be hopped at it? This blogger should probably have sent that question in for the Is It Okay To Ask? section. 'It's not often you get the chance to do something you absolutely love, that people seem to connect with. I thought The Last Leg was going to be an once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I'm over the moon to think that we can do it all again.' The broadcaster states that the new deal comes after Adam's role as the host of The Last Leg, the late night discussion and comedy show which ran daily during Channel Four's coverage of the Paralympics. Adam will return with A Last Leg Christmas Special and then a series run in 2013. Alex Brooker and Josh Widdecombe, his co-hosts will be resuming their places on the sofa, alongside Hills. 'We knew The Last Leg was something special and we were in no doubt we wanted to keep the show's spirit of open and frank debate alive. We are working on a number of great ideas that will help push the show forward from its paralympic origins into a broad, intelligent and entertaining series. I'm hugely looking forward to working again with Adam, Alex and Josh, noted the network's Entertainment Commissioning Editor, Syeda Irtizaali. Channel Four will also be showing a stand-up special of Hills live in concert recorded in December at the Lyric Theatre in London.

The BBC has radically overhauled the voting system for The Sports Personality of the Year award following last year's controversy about the all-male shortlist, ahead of what is likely to be the most hotly contested year in its history. The victor will still be decided by the voting public but it has abandoned the practice of asking a wide range of newspapers and magazines to vote for their shortlist, a process which last year led to an all-male shortlist amid heated debate - for which read 'whinging' - over the reasons why. Instead, the initial shortlist will be decided by a panel of twelve experts including BBC executives, former nominees, newspaper sports editors and sports administrators. The shortlist has been expanded to twelve from ten due, said the BBC, to 'the unprecedented success of UK athletes in 2012.' King of the Mods Bradley Wiggins, Andy Murray, Jessica Ennis, Mo Farah, Rory McIlroy and David Weir are expected to be among the contenders for an award that any of them could have won in other years. No members of the British Olympix swimming team are expected to be on Ze List. The Gruniad Morning Star says that it is 'understood' the format of the show, which will be presented from London's ExCeL Centre, will also be revamped so that it is a more traditional review of the year's sporting action rather than focusing exclusively on the nominees. The panel will include three newspaper sports editors, to be rotated annually, including the Observer's Matthew Hancock. Three BBC Sport executives will be joined by the Radio 5Live sport presenter Eleanor Oldroyd, the sports broadcaster Sue Mott, three former nominees who this year will be Sir Steve Redgrave, Baroness Tanni Grey-Thompson and Denise Lewis, and the UK Sport chair, Baroness Sue Campbell. The panel will also choose the first, second and third places for the Team of the Year, Overseas Personality of the Year and Coach of the Year awards. The BBC director of sport, Barbara Slater, who will chair the panel, said in a blog that 'consideration' had been given to suggestions to split the award into male and female categories and to having separate awards for Olympians and Paralympians. But she concluded: 'We have decided to keep with tradition and not risk devaluing the success of any particular sportsperson, so we have retained the format that has served the nation well for fifty eight years, of one overall Sports Personality of the Year award.' She added: 'One of the most notable features of sport is the passion it instils as people discuss what they have watched, listened to or read. I can't wait for the panel to convene and open up the debate over these awards.' The show, scheduled so it does not clash with The X Factor final, will be broadcast live from Excel on Sunday 16 December.

Dara O'Briain is to host a new six-part science series for BBC2. Science Club will feature reporters and expert guests exploring fascinating facts and tackling unexpected questions. Each week, the team will take a subject, such as extinction, Einstein, space exploration or sex, and examine it from various angles with in-depth studio discussion, films and on-the-spot reports. Example topics include: 'Did you know that the bicycle has done more to improve the human immune system than any other invention in history?', 'Are computers ruining music?' and 'Do smart drugs really make you brainier?' Yer actual O'Briain his very self who, of course, has a degree in mathematics and theoretical physics, will be joined by materials scientist and engineer Mark Miodownik, neuroscientist Tali Sharot, physicist and oceanographer Helen Czerski and journalist Alok Jha. There will also be special guest appearances from Marcus Brigstocke, James May, Jessica Hynes, Mark Steel, Josh Widdecombe and Ed Byrne. O'Briain said: 'I'm very excited to be opening the doors to my brand new Science Club on BBC2. It's for anyone who, like me, is curious about space, brains, extinction and sex and all the great ideas about how the universe works. And if that doesn't grab you, we'll show you how to measure the speed of light using cheese on toast or find your DNA with strong Polish vodka.'

Some proper good news now, dear blog reader. Unfunny lard buckets (and drags) James Corden and Ruth Jones will reportedly be in line for 'a huge pay day' if the US version of Gavin & Stacey announced earlier this week takes off. The pair, who created and starred in the UK comedy, could apparently earn up to five million smackers each if the show becomes a success for FOX. Which will, hopefully, mean the pair of them have so much money that they don't need to make any more programmes in the UK. Which would, in and of itself, be a great relief to many of us, thanks.
Billionaire tyrant Rupert Murdoch has apologised to Hugh Grant after he suggested on Twitter that the actor had abandoned his 'love child's' [sic]. The News Corporation boss made his second grovelling Twitter climbdown in less than twenty four hours on Thursday, as he expressed regret for earlier crass and ignorant comments about Grant's personal life. Murdoch said: 'Hugh Grant states that he is deeply involved in his daughter's life – I accept that, regret tweet on the matter. Apologies to both parents.' Earlier Murdoch sought to clarify his description of 'scumbag celebrities' who met the prime minister to talk about press regulation during the Conservative party conference. He clarified on Wednesday evening: 'I did not say all celebrities were scumbags. Check my tweet. And apology to any who misunderstood.' Murdoch has repeatedly found himself in hot water since he joined Twitter on 1 January. And, indeed, since some his journalists started getting Glenn Mulcaire to hack the phones of celebrities, politicians and murdered schoolgirls. The media mogul has hit out at senior politicians on both sides of the Atlantic, railed on Europe's economic woes, and bemoaned the state of press regulation in the UK.

Sky1 has announced a new documentary series which goes behind the scenes at Greggs. Baking for Britain offers an 'access-all-areas look' at the popular high street bakery, from the kitchens to the boardrooms. The fly-on-the wall show, produced by Mentorn Media, will feature some of the twenty thousand staff who made the company a success. And, presumably, one or two of the stotties, pasties and pies which, considerably, helped. Mentorn Media's Executive Producer Neil Grant, said: 'What a fantastic opportunity and privilege to make a fun access series behind the scenes with the nation's high street icon - this will be popular television at its very best!' Siobhan Mulholland, Sky's Commissioning Editor for Factual programming, added: 'This is going to be a warm-hearted and fascinating insight into a much-loved British institution. The access is impressive; the cameras will be in the shops, following the delivery trucks, following characters, even in the usually confidential tasting labs. It will be a television treat for Sky customers.' And not a Paddy McGuinness in sight. Marvellous.

Maureen Lipman has hit out at Channel Four's reality series Jewish Mum of the Year, calling the show 'disgusting.' This is, presumably, a completely different Maureen Lipman to the actress who spent a good part of the 1980s and 90s playing Beattie Bellman, a stereotypical Jewish mother, oy vey, my life, in a series of particularly noxious television commercials for British Telecom? For which, one presumes, that Maureen Lipman was paid an awful lot of money. Not that Jewish Mum of the Year is any good, of course. It isn't, it's rubbish. This bloger just loathes hypocrites. The series, which is broadcast on C4 on Tuesday evenings, sees seven Jewish mothers set different Apprentice-style tasks each week, such as match-making, going on coach trips and organising bar mitzvahs. The women are then judged on their performance in each task by 'actor, playwright and multitasking Jewish mum' Tracy-Ann Oberman and Yiddish scholar Dovid Katz, with the winning mum at the end of the series being rewarded with her own Agony Aunt column in The Jewish News. Honestly, I'm not making this up. The programme has, unsurprisingly, met with - let's be charitable and call it 'a mixed critical reaction.' It also appears to have rankled with Lipman, who said: 'It's disgusting. It is very damaging, with anti-Semitism being what it is. Not to mention that being a Jewish mother is nothing like the way they portray it. It is just the next stage in this culture of humiliation on television, and I think it is appalling. A programme like that would never have been made when Jeremy Isaacs was in charge of Channel Four. I haven't spoken to him about it, but I suspect he would be appalled, too.' Lipman also complained about the tone of Jewish Mum of the Year. She told the Daily Torygraph: 'People will say, "Oh, well you did Beattie in the BT adverts."' As, indeed, this blogger just has. Indeed, some dear blog reader might regard such a statement as an example of crass, staggering hypocrisy. But that performance, apparently, was - according to Lipman - 'affectionate. This isn't,' it would seem. 'I mean, we have had My Big Fat Greek Wedding, we've had My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding, and now this. How about My Big Fat Stupid Television Producer Who Doesn't Have a Single Unique Thought in His Head?' Her comments come a week after former BBC and Channel Four chairman Michael Grade criticised Jewish Mum of the Year, saying: 'I don't know what it was supposed to be. They seemed to cram in every cliché in the book.'

ITV has admitted that This Morning was the victim of a hoax following a story about a new celebrity sperm bank. CEO Dan Richards appeared on This Morning on Tuesday to discuss FameDaddy, the 'first celebrity sperm donor service.' But the broadcaster has said it now appears Richards did not run the website but was 'an actor working for a TV production company.' ITV has apologised to viewers who were 'deliberately misled by this stunt.' FameDaddy's website states its 'soon-to-launch service' will offer a list of 'celebrity donors from the worlds of sport, entertainment and finance - all leaders in their fields, with a proven track record of success.' Its sample donors includes 'a rock star with annual earnings of forty million pounds and an aristocrat in the House of Lords with an income of five to ten million pounds.' 'There is no doubt it was an incredible tale,' presenter Phillip Schofield - tragically minus Gordon the Gopher - told viewers on Wednesday. Co-host Holly Willoughby said: 'There was something not quite right, it was so unbelievable.' ITV has launched an investigation following the interview and on Thursday the broadcaster apologised to viewers, saying those behind the incident 'clearly went to great lengths to pull the wool over the eyes of the programme and our audience. They also managed to convince other media, appearing on radio and in newspapers,' the statement said. ITV said it makes 'every effort to ensure the legitimacy' of the stories featured on This Morning, 'as well as the authenticity of all guests. We carry out a range of checks, which in this case included verifying that this company was legally registered, and we did the interview in good faith,' it added. A link to the featured item has since been removed from ITV's website. The FameDaddy website, which was set up in 2012, also offers interested women the opportunity to take the 'Fame Daddy Donor Quiz' in order to 'find your dream donor.'

The ONE Show has announced that The Rickshaw Challenge for Children in Need will return this year. Six young people will ride from Llandudno to London to help raise funds for disadvantaged children and young people across the UK. Host Matt Baker, who last year raised £1.9 million after completing the gruelling journey from Edinburgh to London, will ride alongside the group to offer support and advice. Alex Jones will also rally support along the way. That's if she can avoid being pelted with rotten fruit by viewers who can't stand her, of course. 'Team Rickshaw' will be made up of six youngsters who have been or still are supported by BBC Children in Need funded projects. They will start the journey on 9 November and will attempt to complete the four hundred and eleven-mile route in eight days. Baker said: 'The Rickshaw Challenge is one of the toughest challenges I've ever taken on. These youngsters are going to have their work cut out for them. That's why the public needs to get behind Team Rickshaw and come out and cheer them on. I know from the challenge last year what a difference the public's support can make. We need to get behind them as they strive to raise as much money as possible for BBC Children In Need." Jones added something. But, it was completely bloody unintelligable, just like everything else she shrieks.

Lord Sugar-Sweetie has confirmed the return date for the new series of Young Apprentice. Series three of the BBC1 show will premiere on Thursday 1 November at 8pm, Lord Sugar-Sweetie confirmed on his Twitter page. Karren Brady and Nick Hewer will return as aides to the entrepreneur, reporting on the candidates as they progress through the process. Zara Brownless was crowned winner of the last series. The sixteen-year-old won a twenty five thousand smacker prize fund. In August, Lord Sugar-Sweetie denied tabloid reports that he was considering axing the Young Apprentice format after failing to attract similar ratings to The Apprentice. A decision on further series has yet to be announced.

Lacey Turner is to star in a new BBC1 drama, it has been reported. The former EastEnders actress will play young army recruit called Molly in a one-off ninety-minute drama titled Our Girl, reports the Sun. Molly joins the Royal Army Medical Corps after throwing up in the doorway of a recruitment office while out celebrating her eighteenth birthday. Our Girl follows her through training and into active service in Afghanistan. Turner describes Molly as 'an interesting character who shows such strength and determination.' A BBC spokesperson added: 'Molly is as colourful, unique and powerful as Stacey Slater was when she first arrived on the channel eight years ago.'

In the US, CBS has made the first awkward phone call of the 2012 season, pulling Made in Jersey from its schedule with immediate effect. The legal drama about a street-smart lawyer had been airing - for just two weeks - on Friday nights at 9pm. This bloodshed is the first of what has been a kinder, gentler opening month of the fall season than often in the past. Five shows which started in September (NBC's Go On, The New Normal and Revolution and FOX's The Mindy Project and Ben and Kate) have all been given full-season orders. Made in Jersey's 9pm timeslot will go to CSI: New York, which has been moved back an hour from 8pm to 9pm. Undercover Boss will take over the vacated 8pm slot when it returns for its fourth season on 2 November.

Beth Tweddle and Matt Lapinskas have reportedly signed up to take part in the next series of Twatting About on Ice. Olympic medal-winning gymnast Tweddle has reportedly started training for the ITV ice skating competition, according to the Sun. 'Olympians are competitive people so it was a no-brainer to sign one up,' an alleged 'show source' allegedly said. 'Beth has great poise for obvious reasons and was keen to give it a go. We've seen her on the ice and she's very good. She'll be a great contender.' Former EastEnders actor Lapinskas will also reportedly take part, in addition to Coronation Street actress Samia Ghadie, who plays Maria Connor on the ITV soap. 'Matt and Samia will be great too. They're good skaters and our viewers love the soap stars,' the alleged 'insider' allegedly added.

Denise Van Outen has reportedly been asked to 'tone down her banter' with partner James Jordan on Strictly Come Dancing. Producers have, allegedly, requested the pair stop making 'X-rated' jokes while their dance rehearsals are being filmed, the Daily Lies claims. They add that the majority of footage from their training sessions ends up on the cutting room floor because it's 'too rude to broadcast.'

Mad Frankie Boyle has defended the use of racial phrases in his Tramadol Nights show, saying he was merely playing characters. 'These are phrases that a racist will use,' he told jurors in the libel trial he is bringing against the Daily Mirra. 'There is no way they are an endorsement of racist terminology. It is the absolute opposite of that.' He added: 'If I dressed up as Godzilla, people would not accuse me of wanting to crush Tokyo myself.' Oh, I dunno. I imagine the Daily Scum Mail might well want to give that a try. Boyle was answering questions on Wednesday from Mirra Group Newspaper’s barrister Ronald Thwaites QC. He told Boyle: 'You are punctuating your programme with racist references that some people will find clever and others will find normal and acceptable.' Yes. In much the same way that Johnny Speight did with Till Death Us Do Part. Unfortunately, in that case too, he infamously discovered that many TV viewers are, not to put to fine a point on it, thick as pig's shit and wouldn't understand irony if it got up and gave them a haircut. As in, for instance, the celebrated case of members of the National Front who, reportedly, sometime in the 1970s turned up on the doorsteps of both Speight (a Maoist) and Warren Mitchell (a socialist Jew) and asked if they would like to appear in a Party Political Broadcast for the NF, in Mitchell's case in character as Alf Garnett to talk about 'sending them darkies back.' Because, it would seem, some people simply can't get their head around the idea that not everything a writer writes and not everything an actor says are, necessarily, their own views. Meanwhile, the former BBC production editor of Mock the Week has said she 'wasn't a fan' of Frankie Boyle's controversial joke about Olympic swimmer Rebecca Adlington in 2008, but gave it the green light after 'a discussion' with BBC producers. Suzanne Gilfillan, now the executive editor at Remedy Productions, told the high court on Thursday that producers agreed to include Boyle's joke if they could also show the response of Mock the Week host Dara O Briain, which was 'sympathetic' to Adlington. Boyle was censured by the BBC Trust in 2009 after he described Adlington as resembling 'someone who's looking at themselves in the back of a spoon.' She told jurors: 'In the case of the Rebecca Adlington joke, people have said comedy is about the context and that week the Olympics was the big story. We discussed it and I wasn't a fan of the joke, as many people weren't, but in the context of the show and after discussions with editors [we decided to keep it in]. If we keep the joke in and we keep Dara's response, which was quite sympathetic and quite outraged, it sort of makes the joke feel less cruel in isolation.' Asked by the Mirra Group Newspapers counsel, Ronald Thwaites QC, whether it was correct that the joke was included as 'a matter of compromise' between producers, Gilfillan replied: 'Absolutely.' Boyle told the court earlier this week that he had asked producers not to cover the Olympics on the show that week. He added that producers wanted him to make a joke about a photograph of Adlington returning from Beijing. Gilfillan said producers had decided there was not many other 'light' news events to discuss on the show that week, because the news had been dominated by deaths of troops in Afghanistan. She emphasised that the BBC had hoped Boyle would return to the show as a guest after he left in 2009, and denied that there was any pressure from BBC bosses for him to quit. Gilfillan was one of two witnesses to give evidence in support of Boyle on Thursday. The other was his manager, Hannah Chambers. Boyle is suing the Mirra over a particularly nasty and spiteful article published on 19 July last year, which called him 'a racist comedian' and claimed - wrongly, Boyle alleges, one assumes with some evidence - that he had been 'forced' to quit Mock The Week. Nasty as it was, whether the Mirra's piece was, actually, libellous, is the point of the case, which is expected to continue for much of next week.

Atomic Kitten are among several - utterly atrocious - 1990s pop acts who will reunite for an ITV2 documentary series. I'd sooner see a reunion of Atomic Rooster personally, but there you go. The girl group will reform along with 5ive, Liberty X and 911 for The Big Reunion, according to the Sun, a format which sounds spectacularly similar to MTV's long-running Bands Reunited. Which proves, yet again, that it would appear everybody working at ITV2 haven't got a single original idea in their collective skull. The show will follow the reunited bands as they rehearse for two weeks ahead of a comeback performance. 'We are thrilled to bring the stories of these pop groups up to date,' gushed ITV's head of digital channels Angela Jain, who out to be sodding well ashamed of herself. 'A lot has happened in the time these bands have been apart - marriages, divorces and changes in careers - and who knows quite what will happen when they reunite!' Other acts tipped to come back together for The Big Reunion include B*Witched and the Honeyz. Can't wait.

And, speaking of prostitutes, sex workers in South London have been using a former Jobcentre with clients. The empty building in Brixton has become 'a popular spot' for the women to 'offer their services' to customers, the Sun reports. A local resident said: 'It's disgusting. This area used to be quite nice, but the tone is being lowered.' That was Mrs Hyacinth Bucket of Brixton there, it would seem. Police said they were 'aware of concerns' about the empty Jobcentre, which closed down this summer. And, in other prostitute news, a German ice hockey team recently attracted controversy after being sponsored by their local brothel. Team spokesman Jürgen Eichbauer defended the move, saying: 'The operators of the brothel are legal people who do their business honestly and pay taxes. No Wild-West methods are used, and the women are not forced. Prostitution is the oldest business in the world and therefore the cooperation is not objectionable to us.' On the non-used of 'wild-west methods', rumours that you have to pay extra for a reverse cowgirl are, at this time, unconfirmed.
A man from Florida has been charged after hitting his boyfriend with a plate for listening to Alanis Morissette. Sounds like a perfectly reasonable course of action to this blogger. If it had been Sting, he should have just killed him trust me, no jury in the world would convict under that sort of provocation. In the police report seen on The Smoking Gun website, twenty four-year-old Allen Casey admitted to the attack when questioned by police at a nearby park in San Marco. 'That's all that motherfucker listens to,' he was reported to have said. Casey's boyfriend, Todd Fletcher, reportedly suffered a large cut on his face from the incident.

For today's Keith Telly Topping's 45 of the Day, here's the closest you'll probably get to an Atomic Rooster reunion. John Dun Cann, Paul Hammond and the late, and very great, Vincent Crane with The Hit in a performance from Top of the Pops from July 1971 which is unlikely ever to be shown on British TV again thanks to the fact that it was presented by Jimmy Savile. True story.

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