Tuesday, October 23, 2012

I Am Aimless In Extreme

Ashley Walters has offered details of his Doctor Who guest appearance. The So Solid Crew rapper-turned-actor first revealed that he was appearing in one of the 2013 Doctor Who episode in September, admitting that he 'got in trouble' for tweeting images of the shoot. Walters has now revealed to Radio Times that his Doctor Who episode - said to be called Journey To The Centre Of The TARDIS - focuses on an exploration of The Doctor's time-machine. 'In our episode, it'll be the first time people get to see so much of the TARDIS,' he claimed. Well, since The Edge of Destruction, anyway. Before you were born, Ashley, don't worry about it. Walters went on to praise yer actual Matt Smith and Jenna-Louise Coleman. 'You can't beat being in Doctor Who - it's something I've grown up with my whole life and working with Matt Smith was amazing,' Walters revealed. 'He's a really, really good actor and just being a part of that huge BBC franchise was an incredible thing. And Jenna-Louise Coleman is really good at what she does - it seems like she's enjoying her job and I loved working with her.' Coleman makes her official début as The Doctor's companion, Avodaco, in the forthcoming Christmas special.

Meanwhile, John Simm his very self has revealed that he is 'open' to returning to Doctor Who. The actor played The Master in five episodes of the BBC's long-running popular SF drama between 2007 and 2010, but told an audience at the Cheltenham Literature Festival that he would like to take a 'different' approach to the villainous role in the future. 'I'd love to have another take on him, to be a bit quieter,' Simm said, according to the Radio Times. The forty two-year-old hinted that he was not entirely happy with his portrayal in previous episodes, adding: 'I started annoying myself after a while. Russell T Davies had a specific idea of what he wanted him to be like. So I just had to do exactly what he wanted me to, and he wanted a giggling lunatic.' Simm explained that he would be interested in taking The Master to 'a very, very dark place' under current head writer and executive producer The Lord Thy God Steven Moffat. 'I'm sure his take on [the character] would be different so I'd be interested to have a look at it,' said the Life on Mars actor.

Homeland has been renewed for a third season by Showtime. The network has ordered twelve more episodes of the drama, which will be broadcast in 2013. The second season has been attracting higher ratings with each episode in the US, with this week's - quite extraordinary - fourth episode being its most watched yet with 1.75m viewers. The ratings are even higher in Britain, where the season one finale attracted nearly three million viewers. Channel Four had already acquired the rights to any potential season three before it was even announced. Showtime president David Nevins said: 'The EMMY wins for Homeland have certainly set the stage for a great second season. The writers, cast and crew of Homeland continue to create a remarkably entertaining and suspenseful roller coaster ride, growing audiences week after week.'

Terrific to see two of yer actual Keith Telly Topping's favourite actresses, Kerry Fox (from Shallow Grave, Mr Wroe's Virgins, Waking The Dead, Forty et al) and Gabrielle Glaister (forever, of course, Blackadder's 'Bob') in this week's excellent New Tricks episode Parts of a Whole (the episode that should have been next week's episode but, err, wasn't).
Patrick Kennedy and Tamzin Merchant will lead the cast of new a ITV period drama Murder on the Home Front. Written by Davy Kane, the crime thriller will follow an early forensic murder investigation, set against the backdrop of the Blitz. James Fleet and Emerald Fennell will also feature in the series, loosely based on the memoires of Molly Lefebure, secretary to the Home Office Pathologist and pioneer of modern forensics Keith Simpson during World War II. Kennedy will play Doctor Lennox Collins, a cutting-edge pathologist, while Fleet is cast as his superior Professor Henry Stephens, and Merchant will play Collins's secretary Molly. Executive Producer Sally Woodward Gentle said: 'With Geoffrey Sax directing Davy Kane's witty and fast-paced script we hope to depict London in the Blitz as a city living life on the edge.' ITV's Director of Drama Laura Mackie added: 'We're delighted to commission Murder on the Home Front to add to ITV's portfolio of new drama.' Murder on the Home Front is currently shooting and is produced by Christopher Hall.

And now here's a - sadly incomplete - final, consolidated Top Eighteen shows for week-ending 14 October 2012. (This is because ITV appear not to have submitted their final figures to BARB, although all the other ITV channels, including ITV HD and ITV+1, have. So if you want to know how many final viewers The X Factor of Downton Abbey got during that week, sorry, can't help.):-
1 Strictly Come Dancing - Sat BBC1 - 10.83m
2 EastEnders - Mon BBC1 - 8.50m
3 New Tricks - Mon BBC1 - 8.26m
4 Merlin - Sat BBC1 - 6.99m
5 Countryfile - Sun BBC1 - 6.53m
6 The Great British Bake Off - Tue BBC2/BBC HD - 6.34m
7 Have I Got News For You - Fri BBC1 - 5.73m
8 The Paradise - Tue BBC1 - 5.70m
9 Watchdog - Wed BBC1 - 5.20m
10 Ten O'Clock News - Tue BBC1 - 5.00m
11 Holby City - Tue BBC1 - 4.97m
12 Nigel Slater's Dish of the Day - Fri BBC1 - 4.91m
13 Who Do You Think You Are? - Wed BBC1 - 4.89m
14 Casualty - Sat BBC1 - 4.80m
15 Antiques Roadshow - Sun BBC1 - 4.72m
16 Hunted - Thu BBC1 - 4.50m
17 The ONE Show - Thu BBC1 - 4.50m
18 Miranda - Fri BBC1 - 4.41m
Channel Four's highest rated show was The Plane Crash (3.85m). Other BBC2 highlights included University Challenge (three million).

Jonny Lee Miller has referred to himself as 'a Sherlock groupie.' The actor - who plays Sherlock Holmes in the new - and decent, if a bit ... you know, American - CBS drama Elementary - told Metro that he is 'a massive fan' of the BBC drama, starring his friend Benedict Cumberbatch. 'I love the work that Benedict has done with Sherlock,' said Miller. 'I would call him up, like a groupie, after every episode came out, wanting to talk to him about it. And we had a discussion about this project [Elementary] as well.' The actor argued - as Cumberbatch has previously - that there is room for more than one version of Conan Doyle's detective on television, but admitted that Elementary may not be 'everyone's favourite' version. 'We are just making the best show we can,' he said. 'This is entertainment we are making. There are much more important things to worry about in life.'

Well-known hairdo Donald Trump tried to force the BBC to drop the broadcast of a critically acclaimed documentary on his alleged bullying of residents near his Scottish golf resort. He should've just said it concerned Jimmy Savile, that might have done the trick. Lawyers for the New York property magnate - and drag - contacted the BBC two days before the feature-length film You've Been Trumped was screened on BBC2 on Sunday night, claiming it was 'highly defamatory, biased and misleading', and demanding 'a right of reply.' In a letter to the BBC from Dundas & Wilson, a prominent Scottish law firm which has acted for Trump for several years, the Trump organisation threatened to 'complain formally' to Ofcom and the BBC Trust if the screening went ahead. The BBC rejected the request and gave the documentary, directed by Anthony Baxter, its network television premiere. It was watched by an estimated 1.1 million viewers, about forty per cent higher than average figure for the slot during the last three months, and earned praise from reviewers. The film will be screened again on BBC2 on Tuesday. Trump's organisation retaliated saying it was 'appalled' by the BBC's decision to show the 'highly biased and manipulative so-called documentary.' Or, in other words, one that they don't like. George Sorial, Trump's chief counsel, said the Trust should sack Roger Mosey, the acting director of BBC Vision. 'The BBC is now an active participant in what many who are familiar with Baxter's work is a complete false telling of the story behind the construction of Trump Golf Scotland,' Sorial told the Gruniad Morning Star who, of course, love reporting anything anti-BBC with a sick agenda worthy of the Daily Scum Mail. 'I would say Roger Mosey should certainly resign or the BBC should consider firing him. We're filing complaints with Ofcom and the BBC Trust and are considering other available legal actions.' Sarah Malone, the executive vice-president of Trump International Golf Links, who featured in the film, said: 'We totally denounce the BBC for further abandoning its own editorial integrity by blatantly refusing us a right of reply at the end of the broadcast last night. It just goes to show that recent criticism of the BBC's lack of sound editorial judgment to be correct. It is not a documentary – it is a piece of propaganda that is wildly inaccurate, defamatory and deliberately misleading.' She claimed that Baxter had sought to make 'a sensationalist, Local Hero story, through underhand, clandestine means, in the hope of making money off the Trump name. He's created a modern day fairytale that bears no resemblance to reality or the truth.' Interesting that she's chosen to compare You've Been Trumped to Local Hero, a film in which a billionaire oil magnate wants to buy a Scottish island to preserve its natural beauty whilst the locals want him to build a refinery so they can all get rich off the sale of their land. In a short statement, the BBC defended its decision. 'You've Been Trumped is an award-winning film that has been screened at international festivals around the world,' it said. 'During the making of the film, Donald Trump declined the opportunity to take part. We are confident that Donald Trump was offered sufficient right to reply in accordance with BBC editorial guidelines. Donald Trump chose not to participate but the film-maker took care to reflect his views on a number of different occasions in the film. In addition, Donald Trump was offered the chance to be interviewed live on the BBC following the BBC2 broadcast. He has not taken up our invitation.' Trump has refused to see the film but on Twitter last week he described his critics as 'morons.' He asserted that Baxter had 'zero talent' and was 'a stupid fool' whose film had helped publicise and promote his golf course at Menie, north of Aberdeen. Baxter said he repeatedly asked Trump for an interview while he was making the documentary but claims that none of the offers were taken up. The film showed Baxter asking Trump to respond to allegations of bullying and ill-treatment against local residents a number of times. It featured Trump talking sixteen times and quoted his supporters backing the project. Baxter said: 'At one press conference, Donald Trump claimed I wasn't a real journalist, and at one stage his organisation put out statements claiming I was working for the [protest group] Tripping Up Trump, and I was actually banned from some press events. The opening of the golf course, I was banned from attending. They claimed I had been hiding behind bushes and heavy machinery, and filmed secret documents – all of which is utter nonsense.' The film, released in May 2011, has won ten awards from film festivals and environmental documentary organisations and earned four-star reviews in the British media. The Edinburgh international film festival refused to screen it, claiming it was 'not of sufficient quality.' It has since been acclaimed by Michael Moore, the radical US film-maker, actors including Alec Baldwin, and lately the Scottish film-maker Bill Forsyth, director of the cult classic Local Hero cited by Malone. In an article for the Gruniad, Forsyth said he had been left 'dazed and shocked' after seeing the documentary in early September. Denouncing the 'malign bullying' of local residents shown in the film, Forsyth said it was 'a moving depiction of human survival and dignity amidst murky doings akin to seventies Romania.'

The names of fourteen hundred and forty four former and serving police officers have been passed to the Independent Police Complaints Commission as part of its investigation into the Hillsborough disaster. Home Affairs Committee chairman Keith Vaz told MPs the 'huge number' had been revealed to him in a letter from South Yorkshire Police's chief constable. The government said the number showed the 'enormity' of the investigation. But the police watchdog probe would be 'thorough and wide-ranging,' it added. MPs were debating the Independent Hillsborough Panel Report, which last month found police and emergency services had made 'strenuous attempts' to deflect the blame for the disaster - in which ninety six people died - on to fans. It revealed one hundred and sixty four police statements had been altered - one hundred and sixteen of them specifically to remove or change negative comments about the policing of the FA Cup semi-final between Liverpool and Nottingham Forest at the Sheffield stadium. The panel also found that forty one of the ninety six who had died had had the 'potential to survive,' and the attorney general last week asked the High Court to consider ordering fresh inquests into the deaths. The Independent Police Complaints Commission and the director of public prosecutions are both conducting inquiries into possible crimes committed by police. The IPCC is looking at whether there was a criminal cover-up by South Yorkshire Police of failings by the force. Vaz said the number of police officers who may need to be investigated was more than had been expected and it was essential the commission had enough money to pursue its inquiries. Shadow home secretary Yvette Cooper said the investigation was 'beyond the scale of anything the IPCC has done before' and required powers, such as compelling former and serving officers to be interviewed, which it did not have. Home Secretary Theresa May said she 'remained committed to ensuring it has all the resources and powers it needs to carry out its investigations thoroughly, transparently and exhaustively.' She confirmed she would work with Labour to see if new laws were needed to compel former officers to co-operate with the IPCC. 'This includes proposals to require current and ex-police officers who were maybe witnesses to a crime to attend an interview, and whether this might require fast-track legislation,' she added.

Rockin' Rod Stewart will host a festive TV special later this year. The singer is to perform a selection of Christmas classics for a one-off ITV programme in December. Rod Stewart's Christmas Special - snappy title - will be filmed at Scotland's Stirling Castle, with a broadcast date still to be announced. Kylie Minogue, Michael Bublé and violinist Nicola Benedetti will also appear for collaborations with the veteran singer. Stewart said: 'Christmas comes early for me this year. I'm really looking forward to singing with Kylie and Michael and performing with Nicola. The show will be a real seasonal treat.' The show will support Stewart's upcoming festive CD Merry Christmas, Baby, released on 30 October.

Phil Cool is reportedly to 'quit comedy' after more than thirty years in the business. Which will probably come as a considerable surprise to those of us who thought he quit comedy, ooo, about thirty years ago.
A serving member of the armed forces and a former Ministry of Defence employee have been arrested by detectives investigating alleged corrupt payments to public officials by journalists, Scotland Yard said. A thirty four-year-old woman, who previously worked for the MoD, was arrested at her home in Rotherham at 6am on Wednesday on suspicion of misconduct in a public office and corruption. A thirty one-year-old man, who is a serving member of the armed forces, was detained at the same address on suspicion of aiding and abetting misconduct in a public office and money laundering. Both are being questioned at a South Yorkshire police station. A Metropolitan police spokesman said the arrests were the result of information provided to police by the management and standards committee at newspaper publisher News Corporation. He said: 'It relates to suspected payments to public officials and is not about seeking journalists to reveal confidential sources in relation to information that has been obtained legitimately.' The arrests bring to fifty two the number of people arrested in Operation Elveden, the investigation into alleged corrupt payments to public officials.

Four people have issued High Court claims against the Daily and Sunday Mirra and the People, accusing the newspapers of phone-hacking and other nefarious skulduggery, their solicitor has told the BBC. Solicitor Mark Lewis said the claims were filed against publisher Mirra Group Newspapers on Monday. The four claimants include former England football manager Sven-Goran Eriksson. A spokesman for the newspaper group added: 'We are unaware action has been taken at the High Court.' The three other claimants are Coronation Street actress Shobna Gulati, Abbie Gibson, a former nanny for the Beckham family and Garry Flitcroft, the former captain of Blackburn Rovers football team. it is not currently known whether the alleged phone-hacking claims relate to a period when oily smug louse Piers Morgan was the editor of the Daily Mirra. Until now the phone-hacking scandal has centred on Rupert Murdoch's News International, publisher of the Sun, and the disgraced and disgraceful Scum of the World. This is the first legal action in the scandal against another newspaper group. Lewis told the BBC that he would not be revealing what level of financial compensation his clients were seeking. The phone-hacking scandal resulted in the government setting up the independent inquiry, led by Lord Justice Leveson. This is due to publish its findings, and proposals for the regulation of the press industry, by the end of the year.

Meanwhile, it's been a right rotten week for the Mirra generally. Firstly it's crass and desperate defence that calling Mad Frankie Boyle 'a racist comedian' was 'fair comment' was rejected by a libel court and they have to pay him a whopping great fifty grand in damages. Now it has been revealed that they and the Daily Scum Mail have been fined ten thousand smackers each, and ordered to pay twenty five grand apiece in costs, for breaching contempt of court laws with their coverage of Levi Bellfield's conviction for the abduction and murder of Milly Dowler. The two newspapers were found guilty of contempt of court in July after two senior judges said their coverage risked serious prejudice to Bellfield's trial. Sir John Thomas and Mr Justice Tugendhat last week ordered the Daily Scum Mail and Daily Mirra to pay ten thousand quid each, plus twenty five thousand notes apiece in costs. However, reporting restrictions meant the fines could not be made public until after the verdict in Mad Frankie Boyle's libel trial against the Daily Mirra had been delivered on Monday. Boyle - very satisfyingly - won his case against the Mirra and was awarded more than fifty thousand smackers in damages. The Bellfield articles were published by the Mirra and Scum Mail on the day after his conviction for the murder and abduction of Milly Dowler, while the jury was still considering another charge against Bellfield on the attempted kidnapping of Rachel Cowles. The articles contained background information about Bellfield, which the high court said 'went far beyond' what the jury had been told in court. The Mirra reported allegations of Bellfield's violent treatment and sexual abuse of his ex-wife and a former partner, and an allegation that he had once boasted of raping a disabled girl. Sir John Thomas, high court judge and president of the Queen's Bench division, said: 'Bearing in mind the amount of costs paid, we can take the course in this case of fining each newspaper at the very bottom end of the scale, namely ten thousand pounds each. But for the future the message is clear and the court's observations, we hope, will ensure others exercise the most scrupulous care at the critical time in a case where only some verdicts have been returned and others remain outstanding.' Both the Mirra and Scum Mail expressed 'surprise and disappointment' at the contempt verdict in July. They questioned whether their coverage had 'an adverse impact' on a jury which had already found Bellfield guilty of two murders. In July last year, the Mirra was fined fifty grand and the Sun eighteen thousand knicker for articles on the arrest of the wholly innocent Christopher Jefferies, who was later released without charge, in the Joanna Yates murder case. Vincent Tabak was found guilty of her murder in October 2011.

Incidentally, dear blog reader, here's a wee joke for you all. Question: What do you call Frankie Boyle in a suit?
The answer, of course, is 'a totally vindicated and fifty grand the richer (though he's said he's donating it to charity) man.' Needs work, I feel.

US President Barack Obama has forcefully attacked his Republican challenger Mitt Romney, in their third and final presidential debate. During the tense encounter in Florida, the rivals tangled over the Arab Spring, Iran, Israel and China. Obama said his rival was 'all over the map' on foreign policy - which is damning with faint praise, surely. Most republicans wouldn't even know was a map of anywhere other the US was. But Romney said the president had allowed 'chaos' to engulf the Middle East. Two instant polls said Obama had won the head-to-head. The Democratic president went on the attack from the start of Monday night's forum, trying to trip up his rival. The debate at Lynn University in Boca Raton, which was moderated by veteran CBS News presenter Bob Schieffer, was not as fractious as their second encounter last week, when Obama came out fighting after his lethargic performance in their first meeting. But there were several scathing exchanges, with the president seeking to portray his challenger as a foreign policy novice who lacked the consistency to be commander-in-chief. Obama said the former Massachusetts governor had backed a continued troop presence in Iraq, opposed nuclear treaties with Russia and flip-flopped over when the US should leave Afghanistan. 'What we need to do with respect to the Middle East is strong, steady leadership, not wrong and reckless leadership that is all over the map,' said Obama.

Fabrice Muamba, the former Notlob Wanderers midfielder forced into retirement with a heart condition, has described the prospect of appearing on Twatting About on Ice as 'more dangerous than football,' reports the Daily Scum Express. Well, indeed. Being that close the radioactive glow of the Curiously Orange Christine Bleakley would be hazardous to the health of most. Muamba was approached by ITV to appear on the dismal show, a slightly suspect proposition given the reason he hit headlines was from 'almost dying' on the pitch, but said that his 'insurance doesn't cover it.' Muamba, however, reckons he'd love to give Strictly Come Dancing a go. 'I love salsa, so I'd be well up for that,' he told the Radio Times.

Ofcom has reprimanded Channel Four for its promotional tie-in with Ridley Scott's movie Prometheus. The broadcaster aired the trailer for the film during an episode of the US drama Homeland in May, then encouraged viewers to send in their reactions via Twitter. These live reactions were subsequently broadcast in the following commercial break. According to the Gruniad Morning Star, Ofcom investigated the promotion after a member of the public - who clearly had nothing better to do with their time - complained that the coverage 'confused the viewer about whether they were watching an impartial continuity announcement or a paid advertisement.' The media regulator upheld the complaint, and told Channel Four that the use of one of the broadcaster's most recognised announcers, along with the language used in the advert and the use of the Channel Four logo, suggested that the channel owned and endorsed the material. And that this was naughty and wrong. In a statement, it claimed: 'In Ofcom's view, such viewer interaction is more commonly associated with television programmes than with advertising. We consider that the presentation style of the Prometheus material risked confusing viewers in respect of its status.' Channel Four claimed that there was a clear contrast between the identification of the channel and the start of a commercial break, but Ofcom dismissed the response, saying: 'Simply because material appears in a break between programmes is not sufficient to identify it as advertising.' The broadcaster has now implemented a new internal policy to prevent a repeat of the incident, which will include the broadcaster's legal and compliance team being required to sign off any potentially troublesome adverts.

The analogue TV signal in Northern Ireland will be turned off permanently on Tuesday night, completing the final stage of the digital switchover in the UK. It means that anyone still watching analogue TV will lose access to all of their channels. Those already using digital TVs or set-top boxes will have to re-tune. Northern Ireland is the last place in Britain to switch off the analogue signal which has been in use for more than seventy years. The change will also bring an end to Ceefax, after three decades of the text news service. Analogue BBC2 was permanently switched off in the early hours of Wednesday 10 October. The switchover has been carried out in two stages, in order to remind people that they need to take action in order to retain access to their television services. Digital TV offers a wider range of channels than analogue TV and much of the content available on teletext-based services can be accessed on digital sets. Almost any existing analogue TV can be converted with the addition of a digital set-top box. Viewers using Freeview, BT Vision or Top-Up TV services had to re-tune their digital TVs or boxes on 10 October, and will have to do so again on Tuesday night. However, if viewers have Sky TV, Virgin Media or Freesat from Sky on all their TV sets, then they do not have to do anything as their service will not be affected by the change. To mark the end of the old transmission technology and the dawn of the fully digital TV era, BBC1 Northern Ireland and Ulster Television are jointly broadcasting a live TV programme on Tuesday night. The simulcast will be hosted by lard bucket, horrorshow (and drag) Eamonn Holmes, and begins at 22:35. The Olympic gold medal winning pentathlete Dame Mary Peters, has been asked to turn off the analogue switch at the Divis transmitter in Belfast. The UK's conversion to digital TV began in 2007, with a region-by-region switch off.

A couple were 'devastated' when they tried to book their wedding at a luxury hotel only to be 'snubbed' as they were considered 'not posh enough.' Wedding planner Michele Connelly reportedly decided that the couple were 'not the type of people that they would want to have' at five-star Stoke Park Hotel, which has previously featured in James Bond films. She sent an e-mail to her boss to try and put the wedding off. Bride-to-be Pauline Bailey was in tears when she also received a copy of the e-mail, meant for Carlo Zoccali. It said: 'I need your advice. I know this probably doesn't sound very nice, but I am trying to put this wedding off as I don't think they are the type of people that we would want to have at Stoke Park. I spoke to the bride yesterday and have put her off for now by telling her the dates that she wants are not available. Help!' One can't possibly think why Michele would think that 'doesn't sound very nice.' Unless it's something to do with the obscene snobbery involved. Pauline, twenty seven, and her fifty one-year-old fiancé Paul Carty were happy to pay ten grand for the wedding at their dream venue. The bride-to-be told the Daily Scum Mail: 'I was horrified. Effectively, Michele was asking her boss how she could get rid of us. The suggestion was that we were undesirables, which we definitely are not. We're a hard-working, well-educated couple, who both speak well and were certainly not dragged-up.' And, even if you weren't, love, what the hell does that have to do with anything? It's your money you should be able to hire Buck House if you've got the coin to do so. Pauline, a drug and alcohol councillor, believes the couple were shunned at the South Buckinghamshire hotel because her fiancé is twenty four years her senior and has a pierced eyebrow and two earrings. Ministry of Defence engineer Paul, who proposed on Valentine's Day last year while they were on holiday in the Canary Islands, was 'gutted' when he read the e-mail. 'If we can afford it why can't we have it? We are absolutely devastated,' he said. The couple have hired a solicitor and are considering taking legal action against the hotel which appeared in Bridget Jones' Diary and Bond films Goldfinger and Tomorrow Never Dies. Sales manager Carlo has apologised for the e-mail and invited the couple to meet to' discuss wedding plans.' Pauline said: 'After such a disgusting snub we wouldn't hold our wedding there, even if the hotel offered it for free.' Which they won't, not even with the Daily scum Mail on the case. So, take yer actual Keith Telly Topping's advice, kids, have the wedding reception at your local pub who'll probably do it for a hundred quid and will be a hell of a lot friendlier than these jokers, stick another couple of hundred behind the bar and use the other nine grand and change to buy a nice holiday or something.

A woman in the US has been accused of faking her own kidnapping to get the day off work. Sheila Bailey Eubank, from San Antonio, initially told police that a man abducted her and forced her to drive him to various locations for drug deals. She also claimed that the man assaulted her, attempted to choke her with a rope, tied her up and left her in the car before a policeman found her, Metro reports. However, officers investigating the case have since found a lottery ticket that she purchased within the hours Eubank claimed that she was 'kidnapped.' CCTV footage of her buying the ticket shows her 'healthy, unhurried, and pleasant with the clerk.' They also reviewed footage of Eubank at an ATM where she claimed to have been kidnapped. Police spotted her withdrawing cash but said there were no signs of anyone else with her. Eubank was confronted by investigators and admitted inventing the story, explaining that she 'wanted attention and a day off work.' One imagines that when her employers get to hear about this, she'll be having plenty of days off work in the future.

The naughty lady who travelled, bare-ass nekked, on the Vienna underground last week has been identified. It had been reported that a female passenger 'stunned' commuters when she got on the subway wearing nothing but leather boots. And a smile. With her lady-bits out, and everything. The woman has now been revealed to be a thirty eight-year-old named Eva, according to the Austrian Times. An alleged 'friend' allegedly told local media: 'She is a happy-go-lucky kind of person and likes to have fun. It was either a spontaneous idea, or perhaps she lost a bet. She is usually blonde - it seems she dyed her hair for the occasion.' And that wasn't all she dyed, either. Allegedly. Despite Austria experiencing snowfall and close-to-freezing temperatures, witnesses at Kardinal-Nagl-Platz station had previously stated that she didn't seem fazed by her lack of clothing.
Today's Keith Telly Topping's 45 of the Day relates, in part, to the story on yesterday's blog about Ofcom rejecting criticism of Alex Thompson's hilarious doorstepping of odious tabloid scumbag Kelvin MacKenzie. it's just, yer actual Keith Telly Topping wonders if, at the end of their summing up, Ofcom added, 'Goodbye, Mr MacKenzie'? Perhaps we'd better ask them. Here's Martin, Rona, Shirl the Pearl, Big John, Finn and Derek on that very subject.

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