Saturday, April 07, 2012


Virgin Atlantic is under mounting pressure to answer allegations that a senior employee passed private flight details for almost seventy celebrities – including Princess Beatrice and Madonna's children – to a global paparazzi agency. Further e-mails 'seen' by the Gruniad Morning Star on Friday, the newspaper claims, 'suggest' that London-based firm Big Pictures was sent confidential travel details for dozens of celebrities and public figures as recently as 2011. The Virgin Atlantic employee suspected of being behind the apparent leak is understood to have resigned on Thursday after the Gruniad contacted the airline and grassed her up like a dirty stinking Copper's Nark. Virgin Atlantic and Big Pictures both claim to have launched internal investigations into the claims on Thursday. A spokeswoman for Virgin Atlantic declined to comment on the further revelations, but said that they would 'form part of the airline's inquiry.' Checks carried out by the Gruniad confirm that at least some of the sixty eight celebrities – such as Jeremy Clarkson, James May and the wife of footballer Wayne Rooney – were in the travel destinations apparently disclosed by the Virgin Atlantic employee when they were supposed to be. The further e-mails, the Gruniad claims, 'indicate that the disclosure of private flight details to the paparazzi is on a much larger scale than initially thought.' Those named in the e-mails include Princess Beatrice, Russell Brand, Rihanna, Daniel Radcliffe and Madonna's children. The Gruniad suggests that Big Pictures 'appears to have been given a secret tip-off by the Virgin Atlantic employee' that people only referred to as 'Madonna's kids' would be flying to JFK airport from Heathrow with the airline in September last year. Another e-mail lists the travel plans for ex-England football manager Glen Hoddle with Virgin Atlantic to Barbados in November last year. The e-mail says: 'There's loads of ex-footballers on these flights going out for a charity golf classic.' A separate e-mail apparently from the airline employee, it is claimed, details a flight for the comedian Sacha Baron Cohen and his wife Isla Fisher from Heathrow to Newark airport last year and says: 'They're in economy!!!!!' (The six exclamation marks are quoted for the sake of accuracy.) In a statement, Virgin Atlantic said on Thursday that it was taking the apparent leak 'extremely seriously.' The company said: 'The allegations that have been raised are extremely serious and we have launched an immediate investigation. "The security of customer information is our highest priority and we have robust processes in place to ensure that passenger information is protected. The incident that has been alleged concerns eight customers' flights booked in 2010 and we are in contact with all of those people. It is too early to draw conclusions on this matter but of course we would deeply regret any concern that these allegations may cause the individuals involved.'
Pressure is being applied on the Commons select committee reporting into phone-hacking to 'hold back' from challenging the testimony of key News International witnesses by parliamentary lawyers who fear the MPs could prejudice individuals' chances of a fair trial. This is, again, according the the Gruniad Morning Star who really do seem to have been busy little bees this week. Well, Top Gear's not on at the moment, so the odious lice-ridden hippy Communists can, at least, devote all of their reporters to doing some sodding work for a change instead of looking for ways of crow-barring yer actual Clarkson into every story they write. Although, to be scrupulously fair to them, they even managed that with the Virgin Atlantic malarkey above, so ... The risk from criticism in the culture, media and sport committee's forthcoming report is especially high if executives from News International are charged with perverting the course of justice. The Gruniad says it 'understands' pressure is being applied by 'nervous parliamentary clerks', concerned that the all-party committee 'could create a gross miscarriage of justice,' leading to the collapse of a trial. A parliamentary counsel has been present at every drafting session of the select committee and it is possible a formal legal opinion will be sought before the report is published. Committee members were to receive a clerk's second draft for consideration over Easter, with the aim of publication in May. The committee met just before the start of the Easter recess to go through the report line-by-line. James Murdoch on Tuesday resigned as chairman of BSkyB, prompting speculation that he was expecting to be sharply criticised in the report. A 'political source' whom, the Gruniad claims, is 'aware of the committee's discussions' said: 'The committee members face a dilemma. They need to be careful to publish a report that will not prejudice possible court proceedings while publishing something that is seen as credible. Arguably this report is very important for the parliamentary select committee system, and no one wants to throw away months of work by the committee.' Two former News International executives who have given evidence to the committee, well-known Crystal Tipps lookalike Rebekah Brooks and Andy Coulson, have been arrested by the police, but not yet charged. Both have already claimed that their chances of securing a fair trial have been damaged by evidence given at the Leveson judicial inquiry into media ethics. It is feared they could repeat the claim that their human rights have been infringed if the select committee report challenges their credibility as witnesses. Because, of course, news International have always been very big on upholding people's human rights. But some committee members are said to be 'reluctant' to pin blame on other News International executives, including former legal officer Tom Crone, and Colin Myler, the former Scum of the World editor. They have not been arrested. It is possible that the committee will simply neutrally set out the facts, as relayed to the committee and in evidence to the Leveson inquiry, alongside an accompanying statement that the select committee can reach no conclusion on the evidence relating to Coulson and well-known Crystal Tipps lookalike Brooks pending any legal action. But this device is, the Gruniad states, regarded by some committee members as unsatisfactory. It is pointed out that none of the select committee witnesses has been charged. The big issue for the committee remains whether to condemn James Murdoch as someone who is not a fit and proper person to run a public company. Or, indeed, a fit and proper person to run a piss up in a brewery. The issue has less immediate political impact after Murdoch's resignation as chairman of BSkyB, even though he remains a board member. Committee members have, reportedly, been 'impressed' by a letter sent to the committee by Murdoch seeking to explain his behaviour. Some MPs regarded the letter as so well-pitched that it is a sign he has been informed internally of the arguments developing within the committee. There have been complaints within the committee that News International has been selectively briefing committee members, but overall tensions within the committee have been controlled as all sides wrestle with the threat of contempt.

Rupert Murdoch's media empire, meanwhile, has racked up losses of almost a quarter of a billion pounds due to the phone-hacking scandal and the closure of the disgraced and disgraceful Scum of the World, it has emerged. Annual accounts for News Group Newspapers, which publishes the Sun and used to publish the disgraced and disgraceful Scum of the World, revealed that the firm endured a £238.7m financial hit from the hacking affair, but warned that this could be 'significantly higher' in future. Settling legal claims in phone-hacking cases with individuals such as Sienna Miller, Steve Coogan and Charlotte Church required NGN to set aside £23.7m, while fifty five million smackers went on 'redundancy and restructuring' as a result of the closure of the disgraced and disgraceful Scum of the World in July last year. Closure of the Sunday tabloid also required NGN to take a one hundred and sixty million quid write off on the value of the paper, although a spokesman for the firm told reporters that this was a 'paper' loss and not a 'cash' item. As the £23.7m legal costs provision relates to only claims where formal proceedings have been issued, NGN warned in its accounts: 'The final cost [of claims] may - or may not - be significantly higher than the amounts recognised.' The provision for civil claims was also made against the accounts for the year to July 2011, but the majority of the claims are understood to have come towards the end of the year. The company and its auditors, Ernst & Young, therefore pointed out that it is 'almost impossible' to know what the final cost of settling hacking cases will be. Some analysts have estimated that the cost of the hacking scandal to Murdoch could ultimately rise as high as one billion dollars, largely because NGN is still facing various legal and criminal investigations, including a police probe into alleged corrupt payments by journalists at the Scum of the World and the Sun. The accounts show that pre-tax profits for NGN increased to one hundred and four million of yer actual wonga from £88.6m in the previous year, as turnover held firm at six hundred and fifty three million notes. Times Newspapers, owner of The Times and The Sunday Times, suffered a loss of £11.6m, but that was down from a loss of forty five million quid in 2010, and included £9.3m of restructuring costs. News International, the News Corp subsidiary which owns NGN, has always maintained that its UK newspapers are not for sale. However, News Corp chief operating officer Chase Carey told investors last month that 'there is certainly an awareness' that the company would be worth more without the UK newspaper division.

He became a giant of television for creating The West Wing, the greatest drama series in the history of the media (well, that doesn't have the words 'Doctor' and 'Who' in the title, anyway), then the toast of Hollywood for The Social Network, his Oscar-winning film about the founders of Facebook. Now Aaron Sorkin, one of the biggest names in American film and television, is to launch one of the most eagerly anticipated media events of the season. The Newsroom, like The Social Network, will reveal a secret story behind the world of modern media. But this time Sorkin is setting the drama in the old-tech world of a television news studio. At a time when the Internet is big news and television broadcasters are struggling to find an audience, some observers say he is taking a significant risk. 'In the cultural landscape, a newsroom is not forward-looking. In a way it is going backwards from The Social Network,' said Caryn James, a former reviewer for the New York Times. 'I don't think journalists are tremendously popular today, and so in that sense a newsroom feels like an odd choice.' Sorkin has had television flops before - and they're usually about television, ironically. Studio Sixty on the Sunset Strip, which was set behind the scenes of a comedy sketch show, was an decent enough show - and yer actual Keith Telly Topping was very much a fan - but it never got close to establishing the kind of audience that NBC expected of it and but ended up being cancelled even as its rival 30 Rock – also set around a sketch show – became a huge success. Previous to The West Wing, Sorkin's attempt to portray the world of a sports news-show, Sports Night, was a critical hit but, again, never managed to acquire a mass audience and lasted just two series before being axed. However, there is also a strong tradition of television series and movies based around newsrooms finding a large and devoted audience. Shows such as The Mary Tyler Moore Show and Murphy Brown were successful, and in film, All The President's Men, Broadcast News, The Network and Good Night, and Good Luck were triumphs. There is certainly a lot of excitement building around The Newsroom, which begins on the cable channel HBO on 24 June. A trailer has been released online, and set television critics raving. It featured the show's star, a news anchor called Will McAvoy, played by Jeff Daniels, having an apparent meltdown on a chat show. When asked 'why is America the greatest country in the world?', he is apparently goaded into shedding a long-held reputation for journalistic neutrality. 'Just in case you accidentally wander into a voting booth one day, here's some things you should know,' he says and launches into a long list of statistics about American decline. But, just in case anyone is thinking that liberal darling Sorkin is going only for the Democratic half of America, the clip contains a shocking revelation. 'I'm a registered Republican. I only seem liberal because I believe hurricanes are caused by high barometric pressure, not gay marriage,' he says. Not that this has appeased many on the Republican right, where there has been rapid condemnation of McAvoy as an unlikely and unpatriotic televised version of an American conservative. 'Sorkin is about to unleash his vision of what conservatives and Republicans are like,' wrote one conservative. 'It ain't going to be pretty. It seems like more proof that liberal Hollyweirders don't know anything about conservatives.' That's a wee bit harsh, to be honest. Whilst The West Wing was beloved by many liberals, with its portrayal of a clever, socially conscious and broadly centre left-leaning president, some of its bigger public supporters were people on the right of the political spectrum. Although many of those further to the right of American politics called it The Left Wing as though that was supposed to be so effing hilariously funny. It wasn't. In preparation for The Newsroom, Sorkin also spent time shadowing the shows of the liberal cable-news hosts Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews. To add to the conservatives' ire, the show also features Jane Fonda, who plays McAvoy's boss on the programme. Though she has since mellowed politically and become a Christian, Fonda is still disliked by many conservatives for her leftist anti-Vietnam war activism in the 1970s. But away from the real world politics likely to surround the show – and act as a potential ratings booster – The Newsroom should also supply lots of onscreen drama. Sorkin is best known for his snappy dialogue, sharply drawn characters and talent for taking viewers deep inside a complex internal world. Judging from its trailer The Newsroom, like The West Wing, is likely to try to tell the story of how the news is made, focusing on behind-the-scenes shenanigans and moral compromises. That should make for fertile territory for a man seen by many as the best screenwriter working in the US.

The set of Loose Women has reportedly been hit by an infestation of shingles. A number of the ITV show's presenters and crew have contracted the viral disease over the past few weeks, reports the Mirra. Janet Street Porter and Jane McDonald were both sent home this week with the illness, which is similar to chickenpox. Street Porter is said to have left production on Wednesday, while McDonald was forced to leave the studio minutes before going on air yesterday. As if Street Porter doesn't look scary enough anyway without scabs aal ower her mush. Claire Sweeney was later contacted to join the show as a temporary replacement. Presenter Andrea McLean allegedly had the disease recently, while an executive producer was sent home for two weeks with chickenpox. Show bosses are said to be 'concerned' over the outbreak and any further spread may temporarily shut down the programme. Oh, the inherent tragedy.

The Italian government has launched a one hundred and five million euros project to save one of the world's greatest archaeological treasures, the ancient city of Pompeii. There has been growing concern that the site, where volcanic ash smothered a Roman city in AD79, has been neglected. A number of structures have fully or partially collapsed, including the 'House of Gladiators' which fell down eighteen months ago. Italy and the EU have now put up the funds for a major restoration plan. Italian Prime Minister Mario Monti said the project aimed to secure 'all the insuale (ancient residential areas) currently at risk in one of the most important places of cultural heritage in the world. We want to ensure that this is accomplished through honest and capable workers and companies while keeping away the organised crime that is still strong in this area,' he added. Among the first projects to the funded will be work on the structure known as 'Sirico House', a property thought to have been owned by two wealthy brothers. The House of Gladiators is also set for reconstruction. Around two and a half million tourists visit Pompeii, which sits near the southern city of Naples, every year. Despite the money they generate, there have been allegations that the site has been neglected and underfunded. A group called Italia Nostra, which campaigns to preserve Italy's cultural heritage and has been critical of the management of Pompeii, described this new investment as a 'great start.' However, it said it estimated that securing the whole site would cost twice the amount the government and European Union are putting up.

Amanda Holden has said that judging Britain's Got Talent is 'not real work.' No shit, Sherlock. Next ...

Queen Victoria Pendleton picked herself off the floor to record a brilliant semi-final victory over Australia's Anna Meares en route to world sprint gold at the World Cycling Championships. Pendleton suffered track burns after a crash in her first best-of-three semi-final heat against arch-rival Meares. The Briton struck back to reach the final in Melbourne, where officials relegated Lithuania's Simona Krupeckaite to hand her gold. 'It's been an emotional rollercoaster,' Pendleton told BBC Sport. 'That's not necessarily the way I'd like to win, in an ideal scenario, with relegations and stuff. It always feels a bit weird and not very true to the sport, but those are the rules. I'm delighted with the result. I didn't think it was going to happen coming into today. It's great to end on a high.' Pendleton intends to retire after the London Olympics and will now do so with nine career world titles to her name, including six in the sprint. To keep her hopes of winning this one alive, she first had to peel her battered right backside up from the Hisense Arena track. She clashed arms with Meares in the midst of a frantic finish to their first semi-final heat, sending the thirty one-year-old crashing down and burning her right shoulder, elbow and bum on the wooden surface. 'It's not too bad. I lost my balance, went too far in one direction and lost my traction,' she said. 'My dad always said you don't do track cycling unless you're prepared to crash. I slid quite nicely, which sounds random, and I felt fine. I could tell it was just surface wounds.' Meares told BBC Sport: 'I'm getting sick of meeting Vicky in the semi-final, it's making it really hard. For her to pick herself up after that heavy fall and come back as hard as she did is a mark of the woman and the great champion that she is.' Olympic champion Pendleton against world champion Meares is the London 2012 sprint final to which track cycling fans and the media have been eagerly building ever since Beijing 2008, where they finished first and second respectively. If the Australian has recently appeared out of Pendleton's league on one or two occasions, the latter laid her body on the line to prove more than Meares' match in Melbourne. Officials relegated Meares from the second heat for straying outside her racing line, levelling the score at 1-1. The final against Krupeckaite, last year's silver medallist, felt predestined for Pendleton in front of a muted Australian crowd. But the victory came in odd circumstances. Pendleton won heat one and Krupeckaite seemed to have levelled in the second race before the Lithuanian, too, was relegated in identical circumstances to Meares. Pendleton, already off the track and preparing for a deciding heat when the relegation and her consequent victory were announced, fell into an emotional celebration as she won Britain a third gold medal of the week in Olympic events (fourth overall). Meares took the bronze. 'I was disappointed with the team sprint [on Wednesday, when Pendleton and Jess Varnish failed to earn a medal],' said Pendleton. 'It left me flat, I must admit. Picking myself up for this was quite hard. I thought this was going to be a stepping-stone and I hoped I might do a better performance than I did at the London World Cup. I feel I did that and I'm more than pleased.' Elsewhere on Friday, Sir Chris Hoy took a lengthy route to the men's sprint semi-finals, where he will now face team-mate Jason Kenny. The Scot first came through a repechage round following an early defeat by France's Mickael Bourgain, then edged past Germany's Robert Foerstemann in their deciding quarter-final heat, which also required a photo to separate the pair. Kenny defeated Frenchman Kevin Sireau in their last-eight decider with a bold, early bid for the line to set up an all-British semi-final on Saturday. The outcome of that race could help to decide which of the pair rides in the sprint at the Olympics, with only one slot available. In the six-event men's omnium, Britain's Ed Clancy lost some ground on his rivals with seventh place in event five, the omnium scratch race, eventually claiming fourth overall despite a strong time trial to finish. Britain's Dani King took fourth place in the non-Olympic women's scratch race, having been part of the women's pursuit team that won world gold a day earlier.

It was a pure classic example of an age-old football truism. All of the possession in the world is bog-all use to man nor beast if you don't stick the ball in the net. Wearing the number nine shirt at yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though, still unsellable) Newcastle United would weigh heavily on many shoulders but Papiss Dema Cissé appears to be positively liberated by the famous jersey he's wearing. On another hugely satisfying day for Alan Pardew, the ten million knicker signing from Freiburg in January again scored twice to take his tally to a remarkable nine goals in just eight Premier League appearances. United picked up a fourth successive top-flight victory for the first time in six years to keep alive their hopes of qualifying for the Champions League. The Magpies strengthened their surprise Champions League push with a superb win at Swansea City thanks to another clinical Cissé double. The in-form striker from Dakar cracked the Magpies into an early lead as he raced onto Yohan Cabaye's pass to fire past The Swans keeper Michel Vorm from twenty yards. Swansea then proceeded to dominate possession for most of the rest of the match - Brendan Rodgers' attractive side knocking the ball around beautifully. Comfortable in possession, whole periods of the game seemed to fly by as The Swans stroked the ball around patiently building from the back. At times it was a joy to watch, although if there was one frustration for the home supporters it was that Tim Krul, the Newcastle goalkeeper, had only one save of note to make in the entire first half - and only about two others not of note either. And, he didn't have much more to do after the break. Several promising Swansea moves petered out as a result of a stray final ball and solid defending from United's makeshift back four - still, remember, without Coloccini and Steve Taylor. The save Krul made was an impressive one, Gylfi Sigurdsson's dipping right-footed shot, after the lively Joe Allen had spotted the Icelandic midfielder in space twenty five yards from goal, spectacularly turned around the post by the young Dutch keeper. But Newcastle showed them how to do the penetration thing as Hatem Ben Arfa, Cayabe and Cissé combined to seal a smash-and-grab win on the hour. Cissé exquisitely chipped Vorm from inside the box to celebrate a third successive brace. A fourth win in a row for Newcastle ensured Alan Pardew's side leapfrog Moscow Chelski FC into fifth place in the Premiership and are now just two points behind Stottingtot Hotshots and The Arse, who occupy the last two Champions League places. Pardew has done a very good job of managing expectations and keeping supporters' feet on the floor. But, Pardew's men seem to have hit form at just the right time with six games remaining. If Newcastle do make it back into European competition it will be for the first time since the 2006-07 season. And while Cissé will enjoy all of the headlines, the resolute Magpies defence and hard-working midfield - including a superb performance from Jonás Gutiérrez playing out of position in the middle - ensured their first every Premier League win on a Friday. Swansea, meanwhile, have now lost three league games in a row for the first time since losing to York, Bury and Lincoln in Division Three in January 2003. Krul was rarely tested although Sigurdsson, the recently-crowned Premier League Player of the Month for March, should have done so in the opening two minutes. But after Nathan Dyer's had cut in from the right and set up the Icelandic international, Sigurdsson could only drag his shot tamely across Krul's goal. The hosts were immediately punished as the Cissé capitalised on some generous Swansea marking to fire Newcastle into a fifth minute lead. The Senegalese striker lost his marker, sped onto Cabaye's lovely one-touch through-pass and fired past Vorm from twenty yards. Cissé took advantage of the space that opened up between Ashley Williams and Steven Caulker, the Swansea central defenders, before spearing a low shot across Vorm. Cissé, who started as a lone centre forward but interchanged with Demba Ba on the left flank in a 4-4-1-1 formation which saw Cabaye deployed just off the main striker, threatened to add a second twelve minutes later but Caulker, after initially looking like he had allowed the striker to get the better of him, managed to get in a block. Newcastle's threat, however, was largely confined to the counterattack, as Swansea, as we have seen on many other occasions this season, dominated possession with their neat passing and fluid movement. But, they couldn't score. Sigurdsson, as mentioned, stung the hands of Krul with his fierce twenty five-yard drive and he also had a shot blocked by Davide Santon and a weak thirty-yard free-kick which was easily collected by the Newcastle keeper. Rodgers had rested his leading scorers, Danny Graham and Scott Sinclair, who had scored seventeen of Swansea's thirty five league goals this season, as the Swans struggled to penetrate. After a deflected Joe Allen twenty five-yard effort was beaten away by Krul, Rodgers unleashed Graham and Sinclair early in the second half. But Sinclair had just showed a glimpse of his ability by jinking into the box and firing a goal-bound shot at Ryan Taylor, when Cissé ended Swansea's hopes. Unsurprisingly, the travelling support was in good voice and with home fans drifting away as their side failed to alter their passing game into something more direct, the inevitable chorus of 'Jose Enrique, we're in the Top Five' was given an extended airing.

After a thoroughly wretched winter when, it seemed, their batsmen had entirely forgotten how to bloody well play the game, England's cricket team finally gave the travelling Barmy Army something to shout about and remembered that this is one sport that England are supposed to be quite good at. They beat Sri Lanka by eight wickets to level the series. Alastair Cook and Kevin Pietersen kept their nerve to lead England to victory over Sri Lanka in the second Test. After dismissing the hosts for two hundred and seventy eight - Graeme Swann taking six for one hundred and six - England had a brief wobble in pursuit of ninety four for victory. Andrew Strauss was bowled in the first over of the run chase, with Jonathan Trott also falling cheaply. But Cook (forty nine not out) and Pietersen, with a rapid-fire forty two, wrapped up the victory which levels the two-match series and keeps England top of the world rankings. England's run-chase was subject to trial by spin, with the Sri Lankans keen to prey on any bad memories from Abu Dhabi when Strauss's side were bowled out for seventy two against Pakistan after their bowlers having got them into a winning position. And there must surely have been some butterflies in the tourists' dressing room when the England skipper was bowled by Tillakaratne Dilshan after playing an indecisive shot to a turning delivery. The usually reliable Jonathan Trott was also removed, with sixty three runs still needed for victory, but Cook and Pietersen took the game by the scruff of the neck to lead England to their first Test victory of a difficult winter. Cook showed all the class and ability which has seen him become a top-class one-day player and captain to instill the sort of positive intent which Pietersen then thrived upon. The opener set the tone with a series of boundaries - laying the platform for man-of-the-match Pietersen to finish it off in style. Fresh from his scintillating one hundred and fifty one in the first innings, Pietersen took only twenty eight balls to score his forty two runs and he sealed victory with a six. England needed only one session in the morning to take the four wickets they needed to set up their victory chase but they might have taken even less time if early chances had been taken. Cook, fielding at short leg, dropped Angelo Mathews twice, on three and twelve, to allow the batsman to shepherd the tail following the dismissal of Mahela Jayawardene. The Sri Lankan captain was always going to prove to be the key wicket, and it took a virtual unplayable delivery from Swann to dismiss him - Jayawardene could only fend a climbing, spinning delivery to Cook. The last three wickets put on forty runs, with Mathews making forty six before being removed by Steven Finn, to ensure a potentially awkward chase for England. However any early nerves were dissipated by the composed Cook and Pietersen, who batted with the sort of authority England had lacked in recent matches. It means England remain at the top of the world Test rankings, heading into their summer tests against the West Indies and the team desperate to take their number one crown, South Africa.

The state of Tennessee - where the cowshit lies thick - has reportedly passed a bill to ban students from wearing low-slung trousers. According to the new law, school districts will be able to punish pupils showing too much underwear or bare skin while on school property, Sky News reports. One student, Trina Sanders, said: 'Everybody should dress how they wanna dress, it's a free country.' Whatever gave you that quaintly naive idea, Trina? However, Aisha Williams countered: 'Then again, we don't wanna see your underwear.' One suspects that there may well be some people out there in Internetland who probably would like to see Trina's underwear. It takes all sorts to make a world, after all. After being passed in the state's senate and house of representatives, it requires the governor's signature to become law. Should the governor sign off the proposition, it will become law from 1 July. At which point, Trina's underwear would becoming extremely illegal. The introduction of the law follows a recent failed bill which incorporated the use of a ruler to measure the drift of trousers and also carried the threat of fines and community service.

For today's Keith Telly Topping's 45 of the Day, since Lee was so disparaging about them, yesterday, here's Wings!
That'll teach you to diss the groovy Moog-stylings of yer actual Linda McCartney, young man.

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