Since From The North last received an update a month ago, dearest bloggerisationism fiends, much has occurred. Muchly much. Both in yer actual Keith Telly Topping's own private life and, indeed, in the wider, public, world at large. Taking the latter first, we've seen England ingloriously failing at the Semi-Final stage of the cricket T20 World Cup (though the test side had somewhat more success at Lord's). We've also seen England ingloriously failing in the Final of the football European Championship having made it that far despite plaing utterly terribly through the majority of the tournament, followed by their manager deciding he'd had enough of the gig. To the sadness of, pretty much, no-one except the FA. We've had a general erection in the UK. You might've noticed (it was on The news and everything). The outcome of which was, though entirely predictable in advance, still bloody good fun to stay up all night and watch. Couldn't happen to a bunch of nicer people. We've had all sort of shenanigans and malarkey going on in That There America. And by all sorts, this blogger really does mean all sorts. And, sadly, we've seen the announcement of the death of Donald Sutherland, the last of The Bradley Five to leave the station.
Plus, we've witnessed the final episode of Ncuti Gatwa's first series of Doctor Who, Empire of Death. Which this blogger thought was great needless to say and which he went on the radio to talk about. At length. (it's available on BBC Sounds only until 24 July, sadly, so if you haven't heard it yet, be quick. This blogger can be heard at exactly two hours, eighteen minutes and twenty five seconds in, immediately after Mister Rag And/Or Bone Man and, thereafter, in three chunks over the next twenty minutes or so.)
Keith Topping Topping his very self has also had a couple of further medical appointments for yet more blood-letting in the area and his latest tri-monthly nasty, stingy B-12 injection (which, as usual, knacked like fek, so it did); had a couple of very nice - and productive - meals with his good chum and confidante Young Malcolm at the Little Asia in town; bought his first issue of Record Collector magazine in about a decade because a close personal fiend of this blogger had a piece in that particular issue. This blogger was, sad to report, shocked - and stunned - by the price. Nine English pounds and forty five new pee for one hundred and fourteen pages. That's 8.289pee per page if you're taking notes. And, of even greater importantance, this blogger managed one dull Sunday afternoon to change Derek The Stately Telly Topping Manor duvet cover without the usual fifteen minutes of wrestling with the damned thing first. Which, needless to say, pleased this blogger no end.
We've also seen the arrival of various new online purchases at The Stately Telly Topping Manor including some reading material, some viewing material, a couple of household goods and Ernie, the new Stately Telly Topping Manor External Blu-Ray Drive.
This blogger also discovered that, apparently, it is now possible to walk from Lands End to the Orkneys and, if you chose your route very carefully, you would need to traverse only but one Conservative-held constituency thoughtout all the land. Though, obviously, you'd get your feet rather wet during the last bit.
However, we must, by necessity, move on to the really important news - at least, around these parts. Yer actual Keith Telly Topping has, in recent weeks, been in active discussions with a publisher with whom he's had many previous, enjoyable, dealings concerning a new project (which is, sort of, exactly like an old project only ... newer). An agreement has, since, been reached, a contract has been signed and so details can now be revealed since many of this blogger's closest fiends asked nicely and kept their various digits crossed for a positive outcome upon request. So, coming your way whenever this blogger finishes it, dear blog reader, will be this tasty little beast.
Works is already underway (it was underway the second this blogger got a sniff of interest, to be perfectly honest). The number of 'fifty' films mentioned on this provisional cover artwork is somewhat arbitrary, it may well be fifty five or sixty or another number entirely by the time the project is finished depending on how it goes, what this blogger can get access to, how it will affect the word-count and how he is feeling(!) What can Keith Telly Topping say, dearest bloggerisationism fiends? He's something of a man of whim.
This blogger had, of course, quite forgotten just how exhausting the process of writing this kind of book can be, given that it's been a decade or more since he last worked on such a project. When Keith Telly Topping was young (and pretty), watching a ninety-to-one-hundred-and-twenty-minute film, making notes, researching the piece, getting it all categorised and written up and then edited to, at least, first draft level, would take a day, maximum. Sometimes, if this blogger was feeling particularly energetic, he could managed two in a day. Thus far, this blogger is matching the rate of one-movie-a-day with apparently ease but it is undeniably tiring. The delivery date is the end of the year, however, so Keith Telly Topping has plenty of time to take the odd day off if he ever gets too knackered.
This edition will contain a handful of films which really should have been in the first edition but were left out due to space restrictions (during the writing of A Vault of Horror, it came often down to choices like 'you can have The Abominable Doctor Phibes or you can have Tower of Evil, but not both. Do you want to go for the better film or the more interesting film?') There will also be two inclusions that would have been in the first edition if this blogger had been able to lay his hands on copies at the time he was writing it; three or four which were seriously considered for the first edition, if only to irk the purists and one movie which did appear in the first edition but has been completely rewritten because this blogger was never entirely happy with the original review and, here, it will be massively expanded and included purely as a bonus entry (a bit like a director's cut with commentary track on a double-disc DVD set). Plus, of course, about forty(ish) others, availability depending (this blogger already has access to copies of all-bar-one of his provisional list and the one he doesn't have is easy to get hold of).
For those taking notes, ten days on from signing up for Another Vault of Horror, this blogger is still maintaining the rate of one-film-per-day (ten down, forty-ish to go at the time of wiritng) with five thousand words completed on the rather spectacularly good Unearthly Stranger (1963) last evening. The list currently stands at fifty two 'definites' and about five or six 'possibles.' So, it will be more than fifty, possibly fifty five, maybe an odd number. Hey, dear blog reader, yer actual Keith Telly Topping is contrary in his ways. This is, of course, always assuming that David and Stephen are okay with such a left-field conceit. He said, remembering his manners and his place in the great scheme of things.
Let us, therefore, have a deserved three cheers for David and Stephen for being, you know, Princes amongst men, jolly good blokes and clearly having impeccable taste in their commissions! As previously noted on many an occasion, if life was a party, dear bloggerisationism readers, then this blogger would rather like his to be just like the one seen in Dracula AD 1972 - with top beat-combo of the 1970s, Stoneground (you might've heard of them) rockin’ the effin' shack with ‘Alligator Man’ in The Stately Telly Topping Manor front room and Caroline Munro dancing, provocatively, on the sideboard. A man can dream, can he not? Beccause dreaming, as Blondie once noted, is free.
Of course, there have - even at this early stage in the process - been a few ups and/or downs. That's inevitable in such a project as this. For instance, here is a visual representation of that moment when one has been trying to watch a movie for a book on British horror movies that one is currently writing, which is on an eight-film DVD box-set that one picked up in Los Angeles twenty years ago (also containing five other films that one will want to come back to at a later stage). One has tried it on four of the five DVD players one has in the gaff, it will not play on any of them, then, in desperation, one tries it on the fifth - the old model that one has in the bedroom which one hasn't used for anything in months - and it actually only bloomin' well goes and plays, doesn't it? Take that 'region not supported on this devise'!
Or, alternatively, here we have a visual representation of that moment when one has been up half-the-night trying (and completely failing) to discover the exact date of the UK terrestrial TV debut of Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny & Girly (Freddie Francis, 1969) and one finally thinks 'Sod this for a game of strip poker, I need me bed more than I need this.'
Nevertheless, the long and the short of all this malarkey is that this blogger's time for bloggerisationisms updating of From The North may (and, indeed, will) be somewhat limited during the next two, three or four months until the book is completed, edited and delivered. Keith Telly Topping apologises in advance for any inconvenience caused to dear bloggersationism readers who demand their regular fix of updates from The Stately Telly Topping Manor but, what can he do, he's just one man? (Well, he could 'not write the book', obviously. But he is sure that dear bloggersiationism readers will, broadly, understand if he's somewhat reluctant to go down that particular route.)
Meanwhile, something of case in point. This blogger got the inevitable phone-call that he'd been expecting from Downing Street one day last week. 'Keith Telly Topping', Sir Keir said, breathlessly. 'So, we won. You might have noticed. Finally, we've got some adults in the room and we are looking to rebuild a broken country. Are you, therefore, interested in helping us from the comfort of The Stately Telly Topping Manor? A sort of Minister for TV, Horror Movies and Loud Pop Music without Portfolio kind-of thing?' This blogger must admit, he was tempted. But, then, that would have given him even less time for bloggerisationisms and all that. 'Howay, man, Sir Keith, man' this blogger replied. 'The cricket's on shortly and the football later. I've just washed me hair, I've got a book to write (and I'm half way through watching Horrors of the Black Museum as we speak) and I'm due to have lunch with Young Malcolm tomorrow in town. I'm a busy man. Ring me back at a more convenient time, will ya.' You've got to be firm with these Prime Ministers, dear bloggerisationism fiends, or they'll take advantage of your kindness and generosity. And gullibility. Truth be told, however, until all this happened this blogger was completely prepared for government.
Incidentally, speaking of our new First Minister - Things That This Blogger Totally Never Knew: Number One. The shocking - and stunning - discovery that Keir Starmer was, apparently, once the singer/guitarist in Big Country.
Though, according to the BBC's profile of the man on the morning after he was extremely erected to the biggest job in all the land, there's very little about his past not to love. Curry and chips. This blogger would most certainly vote for that.
And, indeed, he did. By postal vote, admittedly. Here's the evidence, your honour.
And finally in this somewhat shorter-than-usual From The North update to bring you all the good and all the bad news, yesterday this blogger received the following reply to something which he had posted on Facebook. Phone calls from the new PM are one thing, dearest bloggerisationism fiends, but Facebook correspondence from yer actual Sir Elt is completely another and no mistake. Mind you, given the amount of records he's sold over the decades, this blogger always assumed Elton would have had somewhat more than but six Facebook followers. One learns something new every day.
