I Can't Take Another Heartache

The new Doctor Who Magazine Special Edition, on sale now from all good newsagents (and, some bad ones), tells the story of the series' sometimes difficult evolution from relatively primitive beginnings to the cutting edge of modern television production. In The Studio is packed full of all-new features and previously unseen images, this is the ultimate guide to the studio recording and filming of Doctor Who.

Russell Davies has responded to Christopher Eccleston's claims they 'lost faith in each other' while filming Doctor Who. In an interview, Big Rusty addressed Eccleston's recent claims that he fell out with numerous members of staff while filming the popular long-running family SF series, which ultimately led to his departure. Whilst personal digs were kept to a minimum, Eccleston did say that he would never again work with Davies. However, the former showrunner seemingly has only nice things to say about his lead actor when he was asked about the issue. 'What has to be remembered when the show's being discussed in the present tense, now, is that I was his employer - I was his producer,' Davies told SFX Magazine. 'I have a duty of care towards any lead actor I work with, so I have a duty of care towards Chris in that moment. He's free to say and explore whatever he wants - that's fine. This duty of care involves respecting him and listening to him at all times. That's my job and that duty of care towards him will extend for the rest of our lives. He will always be my Doctor and I always be his producer.' Russell continued to praise the actor, adding: 'The thing I've got to say is that Chris is a magnificent actor and a magnificent man - he's truly a leader of men - and he was a magnificent Doctor Who as well. You forget what a brave move it was to take the part on when the press were quoting people like Paul Daniels as the next Doctor. It was a huge leap for Chris to make and I love what he did. I think his comedy is funny - he plays it brilliantly. I think the darkness is off the scale with him - when the Doctor's angry, it's spectacular. It's a magnificent, never-to be-forgotten Doctor, and it was an honour to work with an actor delivering a performance like that.'

When Death In Paradise returns for its eighth series next year, one of the most popular members of the Saint Marie police force will be missing. Danny John-Jules, who plays Officer Dwayne Myers, will be departing the drama after anchoring the series through the Ben Miller, Kris Marshall and Ardal O'Hanlon eras. Replacing him will be A Very English Scandal's Shyko Amos as Ruby Patterson, the niece of Saint Marie's police commissioner Selwyn Patterson (Don Warrington). 'There is nothing quite like Death In Paradise on TV and it hasn't quite sunk in yet that I've joined such a massively popular show. It's given me a butterfly or two but I'm very excited,' actress Shyko Amos said this week. Series producer Tim Key added: 'We're delighted to welcome Shyko to the team. She's a really exciting young actor who has already made a huge impact on set as Officer Ruby Patterson. We're very sad to have said goodbye to Danny, whose brilliant performance as Dwayne has helped make the show such a success. We wish Danny all the very best and look forward to working with him again. But it's wonderful to be back in Guadeloupe with our fantastic cast and crew to get stuck in to some more intriguing murder mysteries in the Caribbean sun. We can't wait for the audience to see what we've got in store.' Filming on Death In Paradise's eighth series is currently underway. It will be broadcast on BBC1 in early 2019.

Suranne Jones' upcoming BBC drama, Gentleman Jack has attracted a stellar cast, featuring actors from both Peaky Blinders and Game Of Thrones. The eight-part drama, which will be written and directed by Happy Valley's Sally Wainwright, stars Jones as 'remarkable landowner' Anne Lister. Among those joining Gentleman Jack's impressive cast are Peaky Blinders' Sophie Rundle, who will play the potential love interest of Lister and Game Of Thrones' Gemma Whelan. Timothy West, Gemma Jones, Peter Davison, Amelia Bullmore, Vincent Franklin and Shaun Dooley have also signed up for the new series. Wainwright said: 'I'm delighted that the story of Anne Lister has attracted such a talented, stand-out cast. We also have a wonderful crew on board and I can't wait to start filming.' Gentleman Jack, which will be co-produced by HBO, will tell the story of Anne Lister, who returns to Yorkshire in 1832 after years of exotic travel to transform the fate of her fading ancestral home. Anne's story is based on historical fact that was recorded in her intimate diaries - often in a secret code. Filming for Gentleman Jack is set to begin next month in West Yorkshire and on location in Copenhagen.

From The North favourite Mary Beard is 'thrilled' that Civilisations is being broadcast in America. However, speaking on Good Morning Britain on Friday, the historian and Romanist confessed that she was 'a little stunned' after watching the US version. As she tuned into the series in the States, she claims that she, along with co-stars David Olusoga and Simon Schama, have been 'heavily edited out' by channel PBS. 'I felt I was significantly more edited than the men,' she admitted to Ben Shephard and Horrible Kate Garraway. 'But I think you have to take the rough with the smooth here a bit.' When asked why PBS may have decided to replace her with a famous actor to provide the voiceovers instead, Mary suspected it was down to her age and appearance. 'I wouldn't like to speculate but ... I don't know whether Americans are quite ready for a grey-haired, old lady telling them about art, looking a bit hunched as if she spent her life in a library rather than looking as beautiful as you guys,' she explained. A spokesperson for PBS has previously told the Daily Torygraph: 'From its initial stages, the PBS version of Civilisations was conceived to be distinct from the BBC version. The PBS series intentionally broadens the perspectives presented in each episode by including a wider range of interviews with international artists, art historians and subject experts who have a direct connection to their areas of expertise. We value Ms Beard's contributions to the series and regret to learn of her criticism, however the PBS version was always intended to be a different presentational style from the BBC version.'

It appears as if Big Brother - in its current format at least - may be dead. Channel Five's director of programming Ben Frow - the man responsible for such disasters as Don't Stop Believing and Up Late With Ryan although he was also the chap who cancelled Live From Studio Five so, you know, swings and roundabouts - - has suggested 'some major changes' to the show for the next series. That's if it gets another series. Rumours that both Big Brother and Z-List Celebrity Big Brother are set to be cancelled by Channel Five have been doing the rounds for months, in large part because Channel Five's contract with the show ends later this year. The latest development in the saga came this week as Frow said that a deal has 'yet to be agreed' regarding whether or not Big Brother will return to Channel Five. And, according to Broadcast, Frow continued to add that if the show was to come back, viewers can expect 'a few changes' as it won't return to Channel Five 'in its current form.' Frow told the Sun, Channel Five would 'not be spending the same amount of money' on Big Brother as it has done in previous years. 'The ball is in Endemol Shine's court,' he added. Speaking last year, Frow said he would be 'much happier' if the channel didn't broadcast Big Brother, adding that he would prefer for C5 to 'focus on its own programmes instead.' Channel Five is said to be taking new show pitches for a potential replacement in the event that a deal with Endemol cannot be agreed.

Star Trek: Discovery fans - and this blogger is, broadly speaking, one of them - will be excited to learn that production has officially started on the second series, with Netflix confirming that filming has commenced. The first episode of the new series will be directed by the show's executive producer and co-creator Alex Kurtzman.

Dave has confirmed that it is bringing back two of its original comedies for another series; Porters - which is quite good - Zapped - which really isn't. Zapped featured that annoying berk James Buckley as Brian Weaver, an office worker from the real world but who gets trapped in Munty, a town in the fantasy world. If you've never seen it, yes, it's every single bit as bad as that discription makes it sound. And then some. Porters will be back for a full run after premiering a three-part pilot series last year. The series follows wannabe doctor Simon (Ed Easton) who, on the first day of his new job, is taken under the wing of Karma-loving, Tillman (Rutger Hauer) and black-market-Chinese-Viagra-selling Frankie (Susan Wokoma) and tracks his first few months as a porter at St Etheldreda's hospital as he comes into contact with eccentric staff and patients alike. 'Zapped has now established itself as one of Dave's most popular programmes and I'm absolutely delighted to be returning to Munty for another series of dazzling comic invention, care of the creative heavyweights at Black Dog and Baby Cow, complemented by our incredibly talented cast,' UKTV's senior commissioning editor Pete Thornton said in a statement. 'At the same time it's really exciting to be able to confirm the return of Porters for a full series. The first three episodes set out the show's credentials as a highly original comic creation and we're very much looking forward to witnessing the cast's further adventures via the fertile imagination of one of the UK's most successful and prolific writers of recent years.'

The latest episode of Radio Four's excellent series The Reunion focuses on the cult 1980s comedy The Young Ones. Sue MacGregor is joined by Nigel Planer, Chris Ryan, Alexei Sayle, Lise Mayer and Stephen Frost all sharing their memories of the groundbreaking production. It's well worth a listen.

Incidentally, dear blog reader, a previous episode of The Reunion focused on the first series of Doctor Who, containing contributions from Waris Hussein, Carole Ann Ford, William Russell, Jeremy Young and Peter Purves. And, jolly fascinating it was, too. With a special congratulations obviously due to whomsoever it was at BBC iPlayer that chose to illustrate a programme about the first series of Doctor Who with a still from Planet Of Giants, a three-episode story from the second series of Doctor Who. Give that person a pay raise for displaying a significant degree of surreal comedy genius, Auntie Beeb.

A TV show about the alleged 'sex cult' NXIVM - which hit all the headlines in recent weeks - is currently in development, with Westworld's Shannon Woodward attached to the project. The series, which is being made by Annapurna Television, will follow what happens to women who joined what they were told was a self-help group. Woodward, who plays Elsie Hughes on the HBO series, will executive produce the drama alongside Annapurna's Megan Ellison, Sue Naegle and Susan Goldberg, according to The Hollywood Reporter. The plan is to adapt a 2017 New York Times exposé into a one-hour scripted series inspired by the actual events. This comes after former Smallville actress Allison Mack was extremely arrested in New York last week and charged with sex trafficking, conspiracy and forced labour conspiracy over accusations that she recruited unsuspecting women into what the alleged self-help group. She is currently on five million dollars bail after pleading not guilty to the charges. There have also been accusations that a subgroup within NXIVM, called Dominus Obsequious Sororium, branded female members with the initials of founder Keith Raniere and were 'punished' and forced to perform outrageous sex acts on Raniere and other 'masters'. Mack is accused of being involved in such malarkey as well with a separate women's group within NXIVM which pitched itself as helping its members 'eradicate purported weaknesses' - some members of this group were allegedly then recruited into DOS. Before Mack was apprehended, Raniere was picked up by police in Mexico and extradited to the US to face federal sex trafficking charges. A statement posted on the NXIVM website indicated that they were 'working with federal officials' to establish Raniere's 'innocence and true character.' And, one imagines that the proposed TV series will really help with that.

Yer actual Karen Gillan is a very well-known actress, dear blog reader. You might have noticed. But that still doesn't mean everyone knows who she is. Appearing this week in the US on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Kazza revealed how 'everyone' keeps mixing her up with Game Of Thrones' Sophie Turner. And, this constitutes 'news', apparently. 'There was one time when I was really, really tired and I was coming home from work shooting with all the prosthetics and this guy was like, "Oh my God, I love you in X-Men." I was like, "Thank you so much,"' Kazza explained. 'I just couldn't deal with it. I was like, okay, I'm just going to say thanks and then scuttle away, but then I got caught in this conversation and then I got so deep into it, I was like I can't tell him I'm lying now. So I didn't know what to do, so I physically ran away and I'm sorry if he thinks Sophie Turner is a really weird person now.'

Following the departures of Meghan Markle and Patrick J Adams, Suits has debuted its first look at series eight of the popular legal drama. Suits ended its seventh series in the US this week as Rachel Crane and Mike Ross got married and viewers discovered how Markle was written out. It's now a new era, however, with the arrival of latest addition Katherine Heigl as Samantha Wheeler. Asserting herself from the off, Samantha demands she be 'named partner' before the end of the year, and series creator Aaron Korsh has hinted that she may be part of Robert Zane's firm.

Channel Four will share the stories of the residents of Grenfell Tower in a groundbreaking documentary later this year. The broadcaster has announced its intention to partner with production company Parable for Grenfell: Our Home, a fifteen-minute film which will bring viewers inside the London towerblock. This film will employ stereoscopic 360 imagery and CGI animation, along with real photos and testimony from survivors, to illustrate what life was like living in Grenfell before the horrific blaze which killed seventy one people. Announcing the project, Channel Four commissioning editor Siobhan Sinnerton said: 'Innovation lies at the core of Channel Four's remit so we are delighted to be exploring new and interesting ways to deliver the very best storytelling, and journalism. We hope this piece will give our audience a truly unique perspective on what the Grenfell community was like before the fire.' Grenfell: Our Home will be screened first at the Sheffield Doc/Fest's Alternative Realities exhibition beginning June 7 and then will be released on social media. The survivors of the tragedy will also be provided access to view the film in VR headsets by Channel Four.

True Detective's series three cast want to assure fans that the HBO series is 'going back to its roots.' The first series of True Detective - the one with Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson - was nominated for five Primetime EMMY Awards and was this blog's favourite TV show of 2014. Whilst it wasn't, quite, the complete disaster that some critics have suggested, the Vince Vaughn-starring second series was, let's just say 'less successful' and leave it at that. For its third series, creator Nic Pizzolatto has crafted the story of an Arkansas police detective (Mahershala Ali) whose connection to a sinister missing persons case spans decades. Another of the new cast members is Jon Tenney, who thinks that the third series will restore True Detective to its former glory. 'I can't get into real specifics, but I think it does move a little bit in the direction of season one ... a little bit more maybe than season two,' Tenney told the Observer. 'The scripts are just so compelling. Again, really moving. The company is great. I can't really say a whole lot, but I'm thrilled to be part of it and I think people are going to really dig it.'

The Simpsons has just broken another US TV records. At six hundred and thirty six episodes, it has become the longest running primetime scripted series, beating Western drama Gunsmoke, which produced six hundred and thirty five episodes between 1955 and 1975. To celebrate the milestone, FOX have released a suitably-theme video.

Martin Clunes is currently filming ITV's new crime drama Manhunt and the first on-location images have been released this week. The drama focuses on the murders committed by the serial killer Levi Bellfield, who was convicted of murdering three women, including thirteen-year-old Milly Dowler. Another of those women was French student Amélie Delagrange, who was found injured at Twickenham Green, which is where these crime scene filming photos were taken. Clunes plays DCI Colin Sutton, the lead detective on the investigation. Sutton was assigned to the case of Amelie's death despite being relatively inexperienced in murder investigation and ended up making the connection between that crime and the murders of Marsha McDonnell and the abduction and murder of Milly Dowler when superior officers did not. Waking The Dead and Silent Witness scriptwriter Ed Whitmore has written the screenplay. ITV's Head of Drama Polly Hill called the it 'powerful and compelling.'

The Chuckle Brothers are to get their own Saturday tea-time show, almost a decade after ChuckleVision ended. Chuckle Time will be on Channel Five, who describe it as 'an hour-long family-friendly clip show.' So, that should be well-worth avoiding, then. It will 'mix sketches performed by Paul and Barry with videos of fails, flops and funnies' uploaded by viewers. The pair, both now in their seventies, had been children's TV fixtures since the 1980s. There will be twelve episodes in the new series and no transmission date has yet been announced.

Comcast has, according to the Gruniad Morning Star, 'gatecrashed' billionaire tyrant Rupert Murdoch's proposed takeover of Sky with a rival twenty two billion smackers offer, 'sparking a bidding war for Britain’s biggest pay-TV broadcaster.' The media and telecoms company, which owns NBC Universal and is the largest cable operator in the US, has made an all-cash offer of £12.50 a share, a sixteen per cent premium on the offer from billionaire tyrant Murdoch's Twenty First Century FOX, which values Sky at about nineteen billion notes. FOX currently owns thirty nine per cent of Sky and submitted its bid to take full control in December 2016 but the deal has been delayed by regulatory issues. Comcast has made its move on Sky after having an offer for Twenty First Century FOX's entertainment assets, which include Sky and the Deadpool and X-Men Hollywood studio Twentieth Century FOX, spurned by billionaire tyrant Murdoch last year. Murdoch agreed a sixty six billion dollar sale to rival Disney which is being scrutinised by US regulators, as FOX's own deal for Sky continues to be investigated by the UK competition regulator over issues including media plurality concerns and whether billionaire tyrant Murdoch is a fit and proper person to run a piss-up in a brewery. The UK takeover panel ruled this month that after Disney completes its FOX deal it must make a full takeover bid for Sky, even if the competition regulator quashes billionaire tyrant Murdoch's attempt to buy the sixty one per cent which he does not already own. Comcast, which has thirteen hundred employees in the UK in subsidiaries including the production company behind Downton Abbey, made a number of pledges such as keeping Sky's HQ in Osterley and guaranteeing the editorial independence and funding of Sky News for at least ten years. 'We are determined to be responsible and trusted owners of Sky,' Brian Roberts, the chair and chief executive of Comcast, said. 'We understand and appreciate the value of news and are committed to protecting the important role that Sky News plays in providing a high-quality impartial news service. Any news organisation needs to have independence and be protected to do its job. You want there to be independence.' The company also said it would 'not look to acquire' a majority interest in any UK newspaper for at least five years, a shot at the Sun and The Times owner billionaire tyrant Murdoch, whose takeover bid is being scrutinised over concerns that taking over Sky News would give billionaire tyrant Murdoch too much control over the UK media. This month Disney 'expressed an interest' in buying Sky News - regardless of whether its takeover of FOX and Sky is successful - in an attempt to help solve the plurality issue which is slowing up billionaire tyrant Murdoch's bid and see off Comcast. Comcast said that it would prefer to take full control of Sky but it would be 'happy at 50.1 per cent and one hundred per cent and anywhere in between.' However, Roberts said that he 'did not expect' FOX or Disney to want to remain a minority shareholder. 'My own opinion is there is unlikely to be a large minority shareholder,' he said. 'The most likely scenario when it is done, more likely than not, is that we would end up with most, if not all, the shares. But we are comfortable either way.' Comcast would need approval from eight two per cent of Sky's non-FOX shareholders to achieve a fifty per cent controlling stake. While Twentieth Century FOX said that it 'remained committed' to its offer for Sky and was 'considering its options,' meaning potentially raising its bid, analysts believe billionaire tyrant Murdoch has to clear any offer increase with Disney. 'Murdoch is out of this now, there is another kingmaker in Disney; he will pick up the phone and solicit a higher bid as FOX is now worth a lot more in total,' Alex DeGroote, a media analyst at Cenkos Securities, told the Gruniad. Under the terms of their agreement FOX has 'broad parameters' to increase debt or buy or sell assets without breaking its deal with Disney. But in 'certain instances' FOX cannot act without Disney's approval. In addition, Disney cannot make its own direct bid for Sky without the written consent of FOX. Sky's independent board, which had told shareholders to accept billionaire tyrant Murdoch's offer, has now withdrawn that recommendation in light of Comcast's higher bid. 'The independent committee is mindful of its fiduciary duties and has consistently sought to maximise value for all shareholders,' Sky said in a statement. Comcast said that its offer was 'warmly received' by Sky. Disney, which has called Sky 'a crown jewel,' is keen on the broadcaster's streaming and on-demand service, Sky Now, as it seeks to compete with Netflix. 'In reality, this is likely to be about what Disney is willing to pay for Sky as Disney will be the buyer of the FOX assets,' Ian Whittaker, an analyst at Liberum, said. 'We think that FOX/Disney will counterbid. Ownership of Sky would seem central if Disney wanted to expand its plans to build a direct to consumer network in North America into Europe as it would give Disney the number one pay-TV operator in the UK, Germany and Italy.' With Sky's share price trading at about £13.50, up more than tree per cent on Wednesday, DeGroote criticised Comcast's offer and said he expected a bidding war to ensue. 'It's derisory, far too low, bids for Sky must start at a minimum of fifteen pound-plus, putting its value at over twenty seven billion pounds,' he says. 'Sky's independent directors can't accept Comcast's offer, I don't know any Sky shareholders that would now entertain a £12.50 offer, it is not plausible.' According to the Gruniad, DeGroote believes that Comcast's formal offer 'could' spark further bidders to emerge. 'This will bring into play a number of parties that have not yet shown their hand, such as potentially Netflix and AT&T, depending on the outcome of its Time Warner deal,' he said. 'An investment memorandum will be distributed involving everyone: Amazon, Google, Apple – they will all be encouraged to take a look.' Comcast said that taking over Sky would result in savings of five hundred million knicker annually 'with only limited impact on headcount expected.'

Bill Cosby has been found extremely guilty of three counts of sexual assault, each of which carries a potential ten years in The Big House. The actor has been on trial for drugging and assaulting ex-basketball player Andrea Constand in 2004. Cosby, the first major black actor on primetime TV, will remain out of jail until he is sentenced, the judge ruled. He unleashed an expletive-filled rant after the verdict, as prosecutors argued he should be denied bail. The prosecutor argued that he should be held because he is 'somebody who has unlimited wealth' and could flee on a private plane. 'He doesn't have a plane,' Cosby then erupted, adding a vulgarity which he directed at the prosecutor. 'I feel like my faith in humanity is restored,' Cosby accuser Lili Bernard said outside the courthouse. 'We are so happy that finally we can say, women are believed, and not only on Me Too, but in a court of law,' lawyer Gloria Allred said. It was the second time that the actor had stood trial for the allegations, after an earlier jury failed to reach a verdict in June 2017. At the start of the retrial in Pennsylvania it was revealed that Cosby had paid Constand over three million dollars in a civil settlement in 2006. Cosby is best known for starring in the 1980s TV series The Cosby Show. Around sixty women over five decades have publicly accused the EMMY award-winning actor of being a sexual predator. But statute of limitation laws mean that only one charge has been brought to trial. Some of his accusers were present in court and cried as the guilty verdict was returned. Cosby's lawyer Tom Mesereau insisted 'the fight is not over,' adding that he believes Cosby is innocent and that he plans to file an appeal. Montgomery County District Attorney Kevin Steele, who brought the charges against Cosby, held a press conference after the verdict. 'Money and power or who you are will not stop us from a criminal investigation and prosecuting a case,' Steele said, as Constand stood beside him. When the attack took place, Constand was working as director of operations for the women's basketball team at Temple University, Philadelphia. She told the court that she had gone to the home of her then friend Cosby, to discuss her resignation. She said he had given her three blue pills to 'help take the edge off,' which she believed to be 'a natural remedy.' Minutes later, she was suffering double vision and quickly lost consciousness. She awoke to find Cosby groping her breasts and penetrating her, she said, adding that the drugs made her physically unable to fight back. Constand reported the attack, but the District Attorney refused to press charges. The case was reopened in 2015. Judge Steven O'Neill allowed five of Cosby's other accusers to serve as 'prior bad acts' witnesses during the trial, as the prosecution sought to establish a pattern of misconduct. Heidi Thomas told the court that the comedian served her spiked wine that made her drowsy for four days in 1984. Former model Janice Dickinson was among those who testified, alleging that Cosby drugged and raped her at a hotel in 1982, when she was twenty seven years old. 'I wanted to hit him, wanted to punch him in the face,' Dickinson told the courtroom in Norristown, Pennsylvania. 'I felt anger, was humiliated, disgusted, ashamed.' Dickinson testified that Cosby offered her a blue pill which he said would help with discomfort from menstrual cramps. 'He smelled like cigars and espresso and his body odour,' she said. 'I couldn't move, I felt like I was rendered motionless. Here was America's dad on top of me, happily married man with five children and how very, very wrong it was,' she said. The case against Cosby was one of the first celebrity assault trials conducted in the light of the Me Too movement, which has raised awareness of alleged sexual misconduct by a number of powerful media figures.

Author George RR Martin is publishing a new book - but it isn't The Winds Of Winter, the next entry in the series that inspired Game Of Thrones. Fire & Blood - an 'imaginary history' set three hundred years before the events in Martin's A Song Of Ice & Fire series - is to be published on 20 November. Like those books, it will be set in the fantasy world of Westeros. 'I do want to stress, indeed, I want to shout that Fire & Blood is not a novel,' wrote the author on his blog. 'This is not a traditional narrative and was never intended to be.' The nine hundred and eighty nine-page book will instead be a chronicle of 'all the Targaryen kings from Aegon I [to] Aegon III.' Martin said that the book - the first of two planned volumes - would also feature 'dragons. Lots of dragons.' The author's fans have been waiting almost seven years for The Winds Of Winter, the sixth book in the series that which with A Game Of Thrones in 1996. That was followed by A Clash Of Kings (1999), A Storm Of Swords (2000), A Feast For Crows (2005) and A Dance Wwith Dragons (2011). Because Martin has yet to finish The Winds Of Winter, producers of the Game Of Thrones TV series have had to overtake him in the series ongoing storyline. Earlier this month the HBO drama received a special prize at this year's BAFTA Television Craft Awards. The author refused to confirm whether the events of Fire & Blood would feature in the various Game Of Thrones TV prequels currently in development. 'The only answer I can give is ... no one is sure yet and, anyway, I am not allowed to say,' he wrote. 'So let's move that to the side.'

The US and European space agencies are edging towards a joint mission to bring back rock and soil samples from Mars. NASA and ESA have signed 'a letter of intent' that could lead to the first 'round trip' to another planet. The move was announced as a meeting in Berlin, discussed the science goals and feasibility of a Mars Sample Return mission. The venture would allow scientists to answer key questions about Martian history. Those questions include whether the Planet once hosted life. Besides The Ice Warriors, obviously. Scientists at the Mars meeting said that there was 'only so much' they could learn from Martian meteorites and from the various rovers and static landers sent to the Red Planet. The next step had to be a mission that would retrieve samples from the Martian surface, blast them into space in a capsule and land them safely on Earth. They could then be subjected to detailed analysis in laboratories, using instruments which are currently too large and power-hungry to carry as part of a robotic rover's payload and techniques that are difficult to perform from fifty five million kilometres away. Making the announcement at the ILA Berlin Air and Space Show, which is taking place at the same time as the Mars meeting, Doctor Thomas Zurbuchen, NASA's associate administrator for science, said: 'We want to partner with the European Space Agency, but also with other partners.' He said that this included 'potential link-ups' with the commercial space sector, adding: 'We will at every point look at what is available in the commercial market. NASA has no interest whatsoever in developing things that we can buy.' Dave Parker, director of human and robotic exploration at ESA, commented: 'It's very important that every mission we send to Mars discovers something slightly unusual. It's on the basis of that that we tend to plan the next mission or next missions.' NASA's 2020 rover mission is expected to help pave the way for Mars Sample Return, by drilling into the surface and caching the cores in containers. But this is designed principally to act as a demonstration. The design of a sample return mission would need to be drawn up in coming years. Previous concepts have envisaged a rover storing the geological samples from scientifically desirable locations on Mars. The cached samples would then be loaded on to an ascent vehicle which would lift off from the Martian surface. After the cruise back to Earth, a descent module would parachute through Earth's atmosphere, delivering the first retrieved Martian samples directly into the hands of experts waiting on the ground. If life existed in the past on Mars, it would likely have been microbial in nature. Today, the high levels of cosmic radiation on Mars' surface - a consequence of its thin atmosphere - would create a hostile environment for any organisms. But in the unlikely scenario that organisms are living in the Martian soil today, the mission itself and the handling of samples once they arrived on Earth would need to be subject to strict quarantine, or 'planetary protection,' procedures aimed at preventing the contamination of Earth's biosphere with any Martian bugs. Doctor Zurbuchen said that the sample return mission could also be crucial for later planned human exploration of Mars, which he said NASA should start thinking about in the 2030s. 'I can imagine a lot of scenarios where the samples are actually critical for how we explore as humans,' he said. ESA's Trace Gas Orbiter is currently commissioning its instruments in Martian orbit. It will contribute to the life question by mapping the distribution in the atmosphere of methane gas, which could be produced by Martian organisms, but also by non-biological sources. NASA and ESA had previously worked together on a programme to return geological samples from The Red Planet. In 2009, the agencies agreed to collaborate on the Mars Joint Exploration Initiative, which would have culminated in the recovery of samples in the 2020s. But in 2011, NASA cancelled its participation in the project amid a budgetary squeeze.

The planet Uranus has clouds made up of hydrogen sulphide, the gas that gives rotten eggs their unpleasant smell. Thus, it is entirely legitimate to say to someone, 'did you know Uranus stinks.' Go on, dear blog reader, try it. The possibility of the gas being present in the atmosphere of the planet had long been debated, but has now been confirmed for the first time by observations at a telescope on Hawaii. The malodorous gas was detected high above the giant planet's cloud tops. The findings could shed important new light on how the outer planets formed. A team of researchers have published their results in the journal Nature Astronomy. Despite previous observations by ground telescopes and the Voyager 2 spacecraft, the composition of Uranus' atmosphere had remained unclear. Scientists have long wondered whether hydrogen sulphide (H₂S) or ammonia (NH₃) dominate the ice giant's cloud deck, but have lacked definitive evidence either way. The data were obtained with the Near-Infrared Integral Field Spectrometer instrument on the Gemini North telescope on Hawaii's Mauna Kea summit. The spectroscopic measurements break infrared light from Uranus into its component wavelengths. Bands in the resulting spectrum known as absorption lines, where the gas absorbs infrared light coming from The Sun, allowed the scientists to 'fingerprint' components of Uranus' atmosphere. 'Now, thanks to improved hydrogen sulphide absorption-line data and the wonderful Gemini spectra, we have the fingerprint which caught the culprit,' said co-author Patrick Irwin, from the University of Oxford. The detection of hydrogen sulphide high in Uranus' cloud deck, sets up a contrast with inner gas giant planets, Jupiter and Saturn. The bulk of their upper clouds are instead comprised of ammonia ice. The researchers say these differences in atmospheric composition shed light on questions about the planets' formation and history. Co-author Doctor Leigh Fletcher, from the University of Leicester, said that these differences were probably imprinted early on in the history of these worlds. He explained that the balance between different gases in the atmospheres of these planets was probably determined by the conditions where they formed in the early Solar System. According to Fletcher, when a cloud deck forms by condensation, it locks away the cloud-forming gas in a deep internal reservoir, hidden away beneath the levels that we can usually see with our telescopes. 'Only a tiny amount remains above the clouds as a saturated vapour and this is why it is so challenging to capture the signatures of ammonia and hydrogen sulphide above cloud decks of Uranus,' he said. 'The superior capabilities of Gemini finally gave us that lucky break.' Glenn Orton, of NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, who worked on the study, said: 'We've strongly suspected that hydrogen sulphide gas was influencing the millimetre spectrum of Uranus for some time, but we were unable to attribute the absorption needed to it uniquely. Now, that part of the puzzle is falling into place as well.' Irwin explained: 'If an unfortunate human were ever to descend through Uranus's clouds, they would be met with very unpleasant and odiferous conditions.' They would also, you know, die. Although, more likely it would be from the lack of oxygen rather than the terrible smell. Irwin noted: 'Suffocation and exposure in the negative two hundred degrees Celsius atmosphere made of mostly hydrogen, helium, and methane would take its toll long before the smell.' Whether the rings of Uranus also whiff a bit is not, currently, known.

The UK is considering plans to launch a satellite-navigation system as a rival to the EU's Galileo project. The move comes after the UK was told it would be 'shut out' of key elements of the programme after Brexit. The UK has spent over a billion quid on Galileo, which is meant to be Europe's answer to the US GPS system. Business Secretary Greg Clark is taking legal advice on whether the UK can reclaim the cash, according to the Financial Times. He told BBC News: 'The UK's preference is to remain in Galileo as part of a strong security partnership with Europe. If Galileo no longer meets our security requirements and UK industry cannot compete on a fair basis, it is logical to look at alternatives.' A case of 'Galileo? Yes, we will let you go,' if you will. The row centres around whether the UK 'can continue to be trusted' with the EU's most sensitive security information after Brexit. The UK's armed forces were planning to use Galileo to supplement their use of the US GPS system, but press reports suggest they will now be blocked from doing so. The US retains the more accurate and robust GPS signals for its own armed forces. Graham Turnock, the chief executive of the UK Space Agency, said early feasibility work was under way into a UK system, which he said would cost 'a lot less' than Galileo, thanks to work already done and 'British know-how and ingenuity.' Asked by the BBC's Science Correspondent, Jonathan Amos if it could be as much as five billion smackers, he replied 'tops.' And, he warned that excluding the UK from Galileo could set the European programme back years and cost the EU billions more in development costs. 'We still think there is a "win win" to be had here if the European Commission and the EU Twenty Seven change their minds. But at the moment they appear to be set on excluding the UK from industrial participation in the programme.' He said that the UK had 'a lot of the capability that would be needed for a sat-nav system because we developed them as part of our role in Galileo. We cannot launch yet, although obviously we are trying to address that, but this is something we think is in the realm of the credible,' he added. The pan-European aerospace giant Airbus has been a major player in Galileo's development. And, in the UK, Airbus currently controls the satellites in the sky - satellites that were also assembled by its subsidiary Surrey Satellite Technology Ltd in Guildford. While Airbus will be able to continue working on Galileo at its continental centres whatever the outcome of the present row, the company said its UK wing stood ready to assist in building a British sat-nav system if asked. 'If the UK opts for its own satellite-navigation system then Airbus's space operations in the UK has the skills and expertise to lead the development of it,' Andrew Stroomer, a senior British executive in Airbus, told the BBC.

Scientists have detected a 'cosmic pile-up' of galaxies in the early Universe. Imaged almost at the boundary of the observable Universe, the fourteen unusually bright objects are on a collision course, set to form one massive galaxy. This will in turn serve as the core for a galaxy cluster, one of the most massive objects in the Universe. However, this all happened over twelve billion years ago. So, it's a bit late to be worrying about it now, frankly. Looking this far across the Universe is, essentially, looking back in time, as the light has taken many billions of years to reach us. The galaxies would have been in their observed configuration when the Universe was a mere 1.4 billion years old. Originally detected in a wide sky survey using the South Pole Telescope, the objects surprised astronomers as they were clustered so close together. 'We found it originally as a bright point source in the survey,' explained Yale University's Tim Miller, an author on the study published in Nature. 'I don't think we were expecting something quite this spectacular but we knew it had to be exciting.' Known as starburst galaxies, the objects are extremely bright as they are forming stars at a high rate - up to one thousand times as fast as The Milky Way. Professor Caitlin Casey, who was not involved in the study, described the findings as 'extremely unusual. We often get excited when we find just two galaxies like this grouped together, because each one is already quite unusual and rare compared to "normal galaxies", forming stars several hundreds or thousands of times faster than the Milky Way. To find fourteen such starbursts all grouped together is unheard of,' the University of Texas at Austin researcher commented. The group occupy a region of space just four or five times the size of The Milky Way, making it incredibly dense. 'If you put all the planets into the orbit between the Earth and Moon, it's the same sort of scale of mass concentration,' explained Doctor Axel Weiß, a co-author on the study. The question of why such a concentration of galaxies was able to evolve in this location, and so early in the Universe's history, remains unanswered for now. 'This is just so early. This is before the peak of star formation,' says Miller. So what have these galaxies gotten up to in the intervening billions of years? By now, models predict that they would have coalesced to form the core of an even more massive cluster. Miller explains that in the present day, astronomers expect the structure would be as massive as the Coma Cluster. Stretching across two degrees of the night sky, or over four times the visible space occupied by the full moon, the Coma Cluster is truly a giant. 'The uniqueness of the Coma Cluster is it's one of the most massive structures we know about in the whole local Universe. [It has about] then thousand billion solar masses. It's the most extreme structure that we know about,' explained Doctor Weiß. Thus far, very few of these large galaxy clusters have been detected, but work continues on further candidates. Weiß, who was involved in another study which revealed a similar cluster of ten galaxies, says that there are some other candidates. '[Though] these are certainly the most extreme ones,' said the Max Planck Institute for Radio Astronomy scientist. Doctor Amy Barger, from the University of Wisconsin-Madison found the work to be 'ground-breaking. Finding the progenitors of present-day massive clusters has always been of great importance for piecing together when and how structure grows in the Universe,' she told BBC News.

ABBA (a popular Swedish beat combo of the 1970s, you might've heard of them) have returned to the studio to record their first new music since the 1980s. The quartet said the new material was 'an unexpected consequence' of their recent decision to put together 'a virtual reality' tour. 'We all four felt that, after some thirty five years, it could be fun to join forces again and go into the studio,' the band said in a statement on Instagram. 'And it was like time stood still.' No release date has been set for the new songs - but one of them, titled 'I Still Have Faith In You', will be performed in December on a TV special broadcast by the BBC and NBC. ABBA's spokesperson Gorel Hanser described the new songs, saying: 'The sound will be familiar, but also modern.' The studio sessions were 'like old times,' she told Swedish newspaper Aftonbladet. 'Easy as anything. It didn't feel weird that they hadn't been in the studio together for thirty five years.' But. Hanser said that the group would not perform live, other than as holograms in the forthcoming ABBA Avatar tour. 'No, you can not expect them to join forces on stage again,' she said. 'They will not do that.' The band have resisted pressure to reform since they stopped recording together in 1982, despite a reported one billion dollar offer to tour in 2000. In an interview with the BBC in 2013, Agnetha Faltskog said that she preferred to leave the band in the past. 'It was such a long time ago and we are getting older and we have our different lives,' she explained. News of the new material comes in a bumper year for ABBA fans. An immersive exhibition based on the band's career is running on London's South Bank, while Chess, the musical Bjorn Ulvaeus and Benny Andersson wrote with Sir Tim Rice, is being revived in the West End. A sequel to the film version of Mamma Mia!, starring Amanda Seyfried, Lily James and Cher, will be released on 20 July.

With just a couple of weeks left in the 2017-18 footerball season, dear blog reader, things are becoming ever clearer with regard to the various races for trophies, promotions, play-offs and relegations in all five divisions of the English Footerball League and all that. In the Premier League, of course, Sheikh Yer Man City were already crowned Champions a couple of weeks ago and now the only question is will they break Moscow Chelski FC's existing records for the most points, wins and goals in a Premier League season. One would not back against Pep Guadiola's boys, frankly. The Scum, Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws and Stottingtot Hotshots are all-but confirmed for Champions League qualification although Moscow Chelski FC still have a vague chance of a top four finish, though they are five points behind Spurs with four games remaining. Below them, The Arse and Burnley will qualify for the Europa League finishing in sixth and seventh respectively. At the bottom, West Bromwich Albinos could have been relegated on Saturday but their victory at Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though unsellable) Magpies (who, after a good recent run have suddenly started playing like a bunch of girls again) means that they still have a slim chance of avoiding the drop. As do both Dirty Stoke (who gained a vital point at Anfield to take them to thirty points) and Southampton (whose win at home to Bournemouth took them to thirty two). Southampton are now just a point behind Swansea, albeit The Swans have a game in hand over The Saints. Don't count out Huddersfield, beaten at home by Everton on Saturday, also getting sucked into the relegation melee. Although they have thirty five points, their three remaining games are against Sheikh Yer Man City, Moscow Chelski FC and The Arse and results elsewhere could yet drag The Terriers down among the dead men. West Hamsters United are also on thirty five points but should be safe with four games remaining. As is the case with the Premiership, the Championship title was already wrapped up with Wolverhampton Wanderings claiming the honours, so the race for promotion remains the main focus. Cardiff (eighty nine points) and Fulham (eighty eight) are fighting for the second automatic promotion place. Cardiff host Reading on the last day of the Championship season next Sunday whilst Fulham visit Birmingham with both opponents still in danger of being relegated. Aston Villains and The Middlesbrough Smog Monsters will join either Cardiff or Fulham in the play-offs along with Derby County although Preston Both Ends and Millwall both still have slight chances of snatching the final play-off place if Derby slip up. The Rams could have confirmed their place in the play-offs with victory over Aston Villains but a late Lewis Grabban equaliser meant that Derby still need a point from their final game at home to Barnsley. At the bottom, Blunderland were relegated last week but the other two relegation places could go to any one of five clubs - Reading and Birmingham (both with forty three points), Barnsley and Burton Albinos (both forty one) and Notlob (forty). Blackburn Vindaloo's defeat at Charlton and Wigan Not Very Athletic's home draw with AFC Wimbledon meant that the League One title is still to be decided and will go to the final day of the season. Wigan are away to Doncaster next Saturday whilst Blackburn entertain Oxford. Given their vastly superior goal difference, a point would be enough to take the title to Wigan. Shrewsbury and Rotherham are confirmed for the play-offs, Charlton (seventy one points) and Scunthorpe (seventy) should join them although Plymouth Argyle (sixty eight) still have a chance to grab the final place; both they are Scunthorpe have two games remaining - one of which is against each other on Tuesday at Glanford Park - whilst Charlton visit Rochdale on the final day. With Bury and MK Dons already relegated, Northampton's defeat at Walsall meant that The Cobblers are also - barring a mathematical miracle - going down. The final relegation place is between Rochdale (forty eight points), Oldham Not Very Athletic (forty nine) and Wimbledon and Walsall (fifty one) although both of the latter have two games remaining whilst Rochdale and Oldham have only one (the former at home to Charlton whilst the latter visit Northampton). The League Two title was decided this weekend in one of the genuine stories of the season, via Accrington Stanley's victory over Lincoln. The promotion places are already decided too, with Luton and Wycombe Wanderings joining Stanley in League One. The play-offs will be contested between Exeter, Notts County, Coventry City and either Lincoln (who only need another point) or Mansfield, who must beat Crawley Town next week and hope that Lincoln lose to Yeovil. At the bottom, Chesterfield were already relegated from the League for the first time since 1922. Barnet (forty three points) are favourites to join them in the National League, although victory in their final game against Chesterfield and a defeat for Morecambe (on forty five points) at Coventry would change all that. Macclesfield were confirmed as the run-away National League champions some time ago, meaning they return to League football for the first time since they were relegated from League Two in 2012. Tranmere Rovers, Sutton United, Boreham Wood, Aldershot, Ebbsfleet and AFC Fylde all make the - fiendishly complicated - National League play-offs to decided the second side to go up to League Two. Dover missed out despite winning at Woking. Guiseley, Chester, Torquay and Woking are all relegated to the National Leagues North and South which form the sixth level of the EFL pyramid.

Fulham owner Shahid Khan has made an offer, thought to be worth a total of eight hundred million knicker, to buy Wembley Stadium from the Football Association. It is understood that Khan's bid includes five hundred million quid for the stadium and three hundred million for the FA to keep the Club Wembley debenture and hospitality business. The FA board discussed the approach at a meeting on Thursday. 'We would strive to be the best possible steward for a venue that is iconic,' said Khan. The owner of NFL side Jacksonville Jaguars added: 'Wembley would return to private ownership and The Football Association would be able to focus on its core mission of developing players. I trust many if not most of you are also supporters of the England national teams, so I hope you welcome the potential of this becoming a reality.' Fulham coach Slavisa Jokanovic said at a news conference on Thursday that Khan told him 'about his plan a year-and-a-half ago. He's very ambitious.' BBC Sport suggests that selling Wembley would allow the FA to make a major investment into football at grassroots level. The ninety thousand-seat stadium, which is the largest in the United Kingdom, cost seven hundred and fifty seven million smackers to build and opened in 2007. The FA said in January it would finish paying for the ground by the end of 2024. Stottingtot Hotshots have played their home Premier League games at Wembley this season whilst work on their new stadium takes place. Spurs also have a deal with the NFL to stage a minimum of two games a season over ten years once their new stadium is complete. Sottingtot Hotshots' chairman, Daniel Levy, said that the link-up with the NFL was 'a compelling and exciting partnership.' NFL executive vice-president Mark Waller said having stadium options in London has been 'critical to the NFL.' His statement added: 'The potential purchase of Wembley Stadium is a further powerful sign of their commitment to the UK and their vision to help us grow the sport. This new relationship would allow for even greater flexibility in scheduling future NFL games in London.'

Zlatan Ibrahimovic will not be coming out of retirement to play for Sweden at the 2018 World Cup in Russia. The LA Galaxy and former The Scum striker said recently that he would attend the tournament but would not say in what capacity. Swedish FA chief Lars Richt said: 'I talked to Zlatan on Tuesday. He announced he did not change his mind about the national team - it is no.' Ibrahimovic retired from international football after Euro 2016. The Swede, who also played for Ajax, Barcelona, Juventus and Inter Milan, scored sixty two goals in one hundred and sixteen games for his country and appeared at World Cups in 2002 and 2006. And, despite a knee injury plaguing his final season at The Scum, he showed he still had form by netting a brilliant strike in his LA Galaxy debut last month after joining the Major League Soccer side in March. Sweden qualified for Russia 2018 without him, beating Italy in a play-off to secure their qualification. It will be the team's first World Cup since 2006 after missing out on the 2010 and 2014 tournaments.

Blunderland manager Chris Coleman says that he 'doesn't know' where want-away midfielder Jack Rodwell is, mentally. The already-relegated Mackem Filth travelled to promotion-chasing Fulham in the Championship on Friday - and lost, two-one - but long-term absentee Rodwell did not feature. 'I don't even know where Jack is, to be honest with you. So no, he won't be involved [at Fulham],' Coleman said. Afterwards, Coleman clarified that he was referring to Rodwell's mental state rather than his actual whereabouts. The former Everton and Sheikh Yer Man City midfielder reportedly earning seventy grand-a-week at the Stadium of Plight, is currently training with Blunderland's Under-Twenty Three squad. Rodwell has not made a senior appearance for Blunderland since September and has asked to leave the club he joined for ten million knicker from Sheikh Yer Man City in August 2014. Sunderland offered to tear up his contract earlier this season, but Rodwell decided to stay and collect his, massive, weekly wage packet. His current deal, set to expire in the summer of 2019, does not include Blunderland's usual forty per cent wage reduction clause following relegation. In a newspaper interview in January, Rodwell insisted that he was 'fit and available' for selection and said it would be 'unfair' to ask him to walk away from a lucrative contract. Coleman believes that he does not want to play for Blunderland again. The former Wales boss added: 'I'm quite sure we've gone down the legal route of that situation and we're stuck with a player that doesn't want to play for Sunderland Football Club and wants to leave. But then where's he going to leave and go to? There's the conundrum.' Rodwell has made only fifty three starts for the Black Cats, with only three league appearances coming this season.

Fußball-Club Bayern München have been charged by UEFA after fans ran onto the pitch at the end of their Champions League semi-final first-leg defeat by Real Madrid. The German champions, who were beaten two-one, have also been charged over an offensive banner which was displayed at the Allianz Arena. One supporter grabbed the shirt of Bayern forward Franck Ribery, whilst another took a selfie with some of the Real Madrid players after the final whistle. This case will be dealt with on 31 May.

Germany and Turkey have both confirmed their bids to host the 2024 European Championship finals. The German Football Association submitted its application on Tuesday, with the Turkish Football Federation following suit on Thursday. UEFA will announce the host nation on 27 September. Euro 2024 will return to a single-host format, after Euro 2020 is held in twelve cities across Europe. Denmark, Norway, Sweden and Finland had considered a joint bid but did not proceed - the deadline for applications was 27 April. The DFB withdrew its application to host the semi-finals and final of Euro 2020 to focus on this bid, ensuring the English Football Association unanimously won the vote, with Wembley hosting all three matches. 'I am certain that we will once again feel great enthusiasm and create a new spirit of solidarity at Euro 2024,' said former Germany defender Philipp Lahm, who is a DFB bid ambassador. West Germany hosted the 1974 World Cup and 1988 European Championship, while the 2006 World Cup was held in Germany. The Germans first announced their intention to bid for Euro 2024 in 2013 before officially declaring 'an interest' last year. 'We are building bridges between people of different nations, and are making an important contribution to bringing alive both the values of football and those of a modern civil society,' added DFB president Reinhard Grindel. Turkey has never hosted a major tournament, after unsuccessful bids to jointly host Euro 2008 with Greece and the 2012 and 2016 finals on its own. 'It's now our time and we are ready to share together with the whole of Europe,' said TFF president Yildirim Demiroren. 'All guarantees are given without any reservations, including some additional and innovative guarantees that will ensure the financial success of the tournament - thereby benefiting all UEFA member associations.' Euro 2024 is expected to use the twenty four-team format introduced for Euro 2016, which was won by Portugal.

The Daily Scum Express has grovelling apologised after it published 'an ill-informed and wrong' article suggesting that Liverpool fans 'shared responsibility' for violence before their Champions League semi-final match. The article, which was described as 'an appalling slur' by the mayor of Liverpool, Joe Anderson, was published on the paper's website after Sean Cox, a Liverpool supporter, was left seriously injured after an alleged - and, seemingly unprovoked - attack by Roma fans before the game at Anfield on Tuesday evening. Cox is currently in an induced coma in hospital. Filippo Lombardi has been charged with violent disorder and causing grievous bodily harm and Daniele Sciusco was charged with violent disorder. Both men are from Rome. In the article, which has since been deleted, the journalist Colin Mafham wrote that trouble 'seemed to follow' Liverpool fans like 'bees round a honey pot.' Mafham said he feared that after the stadium disasters at Heysel and Hillsborough, the latest generation of the club's supporters 'could well add another chapter to England's footballing book of condolences.' A statement on the Scum Express website said: 'This article was ill-informed and wrong. It did not, in any way, reflect the views of the Express.' One or two people even believed them. 'It should never have been written and was very quickly removed. We unconditionally apologise, both for the article itself and any offence, understandably, caused. The journalist who wrote the piece was immediately suspended. Express.co.uk is conducting an inquiry into how the article came to be published on our website.' In the comment piece with the headline Liverpool must take serious action after Roma violence or risk further trouble, Mafham wrote: 'You would have thought the deaths of thirty nine Italians at the European Cup final Liverpool lost to Juventus in 1985, plus the five-year ban on English clubs that consequently came after that, would have had a sobering effect. You would have thought the horrors at Hillsborough and ninety six more deaths that followed only four years later would have made everyone more aware of their responsibilities to each other. Those two tragedies, in which the central figures were sadly mostly from Liverpool, are arguably football's most painful Achilles and hopefully will never happen again. So why do I fear that the latest generation of that club’s supporters could well add another chapter to England's footballing book of condolences?' He added: 'When you have a team capable of playing the joyous football Liverpool have for most of this season, how on earth are their fans always seemingly involved in such horrific altercations on big European nights. Why does trouble seem to follow them like bees round a honey pot?' Writing on Twitter on Thursday night, Anderson asked why the paper thought it 'acceptable' to publish the article, two years to the day of the Hillsborough verdict. He called on the Scum Express editor, Gary Jones, to 'face the city and apologise.' Anderson later tweeted that he had received 'a really passionate, sincere [and] heartfelt apology' from Jones and that 'the journalist concerned has rightly been suspended and an investigation is being held.'

The Professional Footballers' Association says that no complaint was made by Harry Kane or his family about a joke told by its chairman Ben Purkiss at the union's awards ceremony last Sunday. It was widely reported -albeit, not by anyone that you'd trust as far as you can spit - that Kane and his 'camp' were 'unhappy' with Purkiss' remark that the England striker was 'so prolific that he is able to score without touching the ball.' This was a reference to the goal Kane claimed against Dirty Stoke earlier this month, with Stottingtot Hotshots launching a successful appeal to have the goal credited to him after Kane claimed to have got the slightest touch to a Christian Eriksen effort. One or two people even believed him. It was reported - although, again, not by anyone with the slightest bit of credibility - that Purkiss' position at the PFA was 'under threat' but a statement from the union released on Thursday read: 'In response to recent media coverage we can confirm that no complaints have been received by the PFA from Harry Kane, Harry's representatives or Harry's family. At no point has any party demanded an apology. Out of courtesy our chairman Ben Purkiss contacted Harry personally to explain that the comment had been taken out of context. Harry has not expressed any concern at all about any comments and appreciated the joke. Furthermore Harry was categorically not at the event. We hope this brings an end to all the widespread inaccuracies. All concerned would now like to draw a line under this matter and move on.'

US President - and hairdo - Donald Trump has warned nations opposing the North American bid for the 2026 World Cup they risk losing the United States' political support. FIFA has received a bid from Morocco and a joint bid from the United States, Canada and Mexico to host the tournament - which will follow Qatar 2022. Trump issued his support for the shared North American proposal ahead of the final decision, which will be made at a FIFA Congress in Moscow on 13 June. 'The US has put together a strong bid w[ith] Canada & Mexico for the 2026 World Cup,' Trump blustered on Twitter. 'It would be a shame if countries that we always support were to lobby against the US bid. Why should we be supporting these countries when they don't support us (including at the United Nations)?' Trump's comments could - indeed, almost certainly are - in breach of FIFA's rules on political interference regarding World Cup bids. Football's world governing body promised a 'fair, objective and transparent' decision process last month, following suggestions by Moroccan bid chairman Moulay Hafid Elalamy that FIFA was 'privately backing' the North American proposal. Whether FIFA - a hypocritical bunch of corrupt gangsters at the best of times - will have the stones to stand up to Trump and tell him where to stick his opinions is, of course, an entirely separate matter. The North American bid boasts large stadiums and an excellent infrastructure but is no certainty to win the June vote. The Morocco bid is expected to receive strong backing from FIFA's African and Middle East countries. France plans to back Morocco, the country's football federation president told local media recently, while Russia, which will host the 2018 tournament has said it will also vote for the North African nation's bid. The chairman of the North American bid, Sunil Gulati, said in January that 'political factors' were complicating the effort. 'This will be a tough battle,' he said. 'This is not only about our stadiums and our hotels and all of that. It’s about the perception of America, and it's a difficult time in the world. There are only certain things we can control. We can't control what happens on the thirty eighth parallel in Korea. We can't control what happens with embassies in Tel Aviv and we can't control what happens with climate-change reports. We do the best we can.' Africa hosted the World Cup in 2010 - in South Africa - but the Northern part of that continent has never been involved in hosting and Morocco has had several previous attempts. The controversial nature of Trump's regime and his strong stance on immigration are considered potentially damaging to the bid, although it should be remembered that Trump would be out of office by 2026, even if he were to serve two terms.

Roman artefacts which suggest the forts on Hadrian's Wall were home to women and children, as well as soldiers, are to go on show. The pieces were unearthed during the excavation of a cemetery at one of the wall's forts. They include cremation urns holding the remains of a woman and child, infants' feeding bottles and remnants of a doll. English Heritage's Roman collections curator Frances McIntosh said that the wall was once 'a thriving centre of everyday life.' The charity believes the young woman could have been the child's mother, suggesting the wall was not just occupied by military men. Articles also found in the woman's urn include a section of iron armour chain mail, which would normally indicate a male burial.'The discovery of this woman and child is fascinating, it leaves us with questions about how they were related and why she was buried with armour,' McIntosh said. 'Even though ordinary Roman soldiers weren't officially allowed to marry until 197AD, a blind eye was often turned and many wives and children would have lived there, alongside a large community of civilians which sprung up to service the forts.' Other artefacts include evidence of Roman board games, a perfume vase in 'impeccable' condition, the remnants of a doll and a bone whistle. They will go on display at Birdoswald Roman Fort in Cumbria and Corbridge Roman Town. Also on display will be a crane demonstrating the expertise needed to build the wall, English Heritage said.

Swedish archaeologists have found evidence of a Fifth Century massacre on the island of Oland. In a paper published in the journal Antiquity, the team writes about the fifteen hundred year old attack at Sandby Borg. Dozens of corpses have been found in the walled fort, their bodies left to rot where they fell. All of the victims were killed with 'brutal force', team leader Helena Victor said. Some victims were found inside houses, others in the streets. The archaeologists discovered decapitated bodies, blunt force trauma wounds to victims' heads and even one person who seemed to have fallen into a fireplace in his final moments and burned to death. Even the corpse of a newborn infant was found among the dead, suggesting that nobody was spared in the revolting atrocity, the authors say. The perpetrators of the massacre are not known, but it took place during a turbulent period of intense migration, when the Western Roman empire was collapsing and the Huns invading. The Baltic island of Oland was never under Roman rule. Local authorities asked staff at the Kalmar Lans Museum to examine the area after treasure hunters found items at the site. The first dig lasted only three days but, after the discovery of the walls of houses, the team quickly found the grisly human remains. Victor said that the bodies in the houses 'raised alarm bells,' as historically corpses were usually cremated - and certainly were not left in people's homes. 'You don't find people lying around in houses,' Victor told the BBC. '[People] don't do it today and didn't do it then.' While villagers normally lived outside the walled fort, they would shelter there in times of danger. Between two hundred and two hundred and fifty people are thought to have lived in the fort. 'People seem to have been killed without defending themselves,' said Victor. 'It seems like treason.' She suggested that someone may have left a door open and 'let them in at night.' The team have also found opulent jewellery at the site, as well as Roman gold coins, hair ornaments and scraps from final meals. The summary for the journal paper describes the find as 'a unique snapshot of domestic life and abrupt death in the Scandinavian Migration Period.' Oland island in the South-East of Sweden has been inhabited since about 6000BC, according to archaeological records. There are at least fifteen ring-forts on the island, although this is the first that seems to have suffered such a gruesome fate. Despite the huge amount found so far, there is still a great deal to examine. Only three of more than fifty houses have so far been excavated, with the team looking for further funds to carry on the dig. 'There is huge interest in this,' Victor said. 'It's just the beginning for us.'

A French museum dedicated to painter Étienne Terrus has discovered paintings it thought were by him were fakes. The Terrus museum in Elne discovered that eighty two works originally attributed to the artist were not actually painted by him. More than half the collection is thought to be fake. The paintings cost about one hundred and sixty thousand Euros. Staff at the museum were said to be 'not aware' of the forgeries until a visiting art historian alerted them. The council in Elne bought the paintings, drawings and watercolours for the museum over a twenty-year period. Eric Forcada, an art historian, contacted the museum in the town near Perpignan several months ago to express his doubts about the authenticity of the paintings. The museum assembled a committee of experts from the cultural world, who inspected the works and concluded that eighty two of them had not been painted by the Elne-born artist. The news was announced on Friday as the museum opened after a renovation. In interviews on Friday, the mayor of the Pyrenees town, Yves Barniol, said that the situation was 'a disaster' and apologised to those who had visited the museum in good faith. Terrus was born in 1857 and died in 1922 in Elne, although he lived most of his life in Roussillon, also in the Pyrenees. He was a close friend of Henri Matisse. Some of the paintings show buildings which were built after Terrus' death, France Three said. The town hall has filed a complaint against those who ordered, painted, or sold the fake paintings. Local police are investigating the case, which they say could affect other regional artists too.

A police officer was allegedly sexually assaulted by a man she was trying to arrest on suspicion of attempted rape, South Yorkshire Police said. The officer and a colleague were also reportedly 'hit with a wooden sign' after they were called to investigate an incident in Scotland Street in Sheffield, on Friday. A man has been extremely arrested on suspicion of attempted rape, assault, sexual assault and criminal damage. Chief Inspector Lydia Lynskey said that the officers - one of whom was 'left severely bruised' - had shown 'immense bravery' in dealing with 'a dangerous and violent situation.' Both officers are recovering at home, she added.

One of the two Canadian women who documented a lavish cruise trip to Australia on Instagram as a 'front' for smuggling cocaine has been sentenced to at least four-and-a-half years in The Pokey. Melina Roberge, along with two accomplices, had embarked on a round-the-world cruise, taking in a number of exotic locations, before the ninety five kilogram haul of Charlie was discovered on their cruise ship when it docked in Sydney. Roberge broke down in tears in the courtroom, according to CNN's Australian affiliate Channel Seven. 'I was meant to just be there and look like I was on holiday and look like a cover for everyone else,' the twenty four-year-old said at the sentencing hearing. 'I am really sorry, I should have thought about the consequences and not what I would have gotten for it,' she added. Crown prosecutor Tom Muir told the court that Roberge was 'aware' of her role in the crime and was using it to support her 'lavish' lifestyle. 'She was not doing it for debt,' he said. 'It's for the lifestyle she wants to enjoy.' At the time, police told Channel Seven that the seizure was Australia's biggest-ever drug bust through 'a passenger stream.' Accomplice Isabelle Lagacé, as well as a third Canadian, Andre Tamine, also pleaded very guilty to charges of importing drugs of a commercial volume into the country. Legace was sentenced to a similar period in November; Tamine will be sentenced later this year. Roberge and Lagacé appear to have documented much of their trip on Instagram, with a number of photos from exotic locations taken during the period. At least two photos showing them drinking from coconuts while kneeling in the water at a Tahiti beach in bikinis. Others show them driving dune buggies in Peru, while another appears to show Roberge getting a leg tattoo in Tahiti. Lagacé is pictured on her own account wearing a necklace made from beads in the shape of marijuana leaves. The women appear to have also travelled to Bermuda, Chile, Ecuador and Colombia. The images have since been removed from the photo-sharing app. Prior to her sentencing, Roberge wrote a letter to the court, explaining that she embarked upon the trip to 'take photos of myself in exotic locations for likes and attention and hurt so many people in the process,' Channel Seven reported. Australian Border Force officers boarded the vessel when it berthed in Sydney Harbour in 2016. Authorities used sniffer dogs to search a number of passenger cabins on the ship. Around ninety five kilograms of Blow was found packed in suitcases, it said. On Facebook, the agency said that the three 'did not have much room for clean underwear or spare toothbrushes.' Where the women boarded the ship was not immediately clear, but their latest Instagram pictures were posted from Tahiti, three days before the bust.

An outbreak of toxic caterpillars that can cause asthma attacks, vomiting and skin rashes has descended on London, officials have warned. Oak processionary moths, which are in their larval stage, have been spotted across the South-East of England and in the capital. Hairs on the caterpillars can cause fevers and eye and throat irritations, the Forestry Commission said. The organisation has issued a caution not to touch the species. The biggest infestations of OPM were recorded in Greater London, stemming from Kingston upon Thames to Brent. Some infestations were also spotted in Bracknell Forest, Slough and Guildford. OPM caterpillars were spotted emerging from egg plaques in mid-April and trees were later treated on 23 April, the Forestry Commission added. 'The treatment programme is expected to continue until late May or early June,' a spokesman said. 'After that the caterpillars will be too large to be affected by our preferred treatment product.' The public are advised that, should they see a caterpillar, they should kill it - with hammers - just to be on the safe side.

The Myrtle Beach Planning Commission Tech Review committee meets next week to discuss a company which is looking to build an 'axe-throwing facility' in downtown Myrtle Beach. This would be the first facility of its kind, so Carol Coleman with the city's planning department said that they are 'taking extra steps' to make sure there are safety guidelines in place. Which is probably a good idea in 'an axe-throwing facility' one could suggest. She added that there is already an 'axe-throwing amusement' in Greenville and in other parts of the country, but 'many of them are indoor facilities.'

A Canadian man whose leg was 'nearly severed' was in critical condition on Wednesday after reportedly kicking at an LRT train, police reported. Staff Sergeant Paul Czerwonka said that police officers at the Belvedere LRT station in Edmonton in relation to 'an unrelated complaint' were called over by witnesses and found a young man in his late teens or early twenties 'lying on the platform with his leg nearly severed.' Officers heard that the man had become 'a little aggressive' and kicked a maintenance train when it did not slow down or open its doors. Police believe that his leg became caught between the train and the platform. The victim was rushed to the Royal Alexandra hospital and was listed in critical condition, Czerwonka said. In a tweet, Edmonton Transit Service said that Capital Line LRT trains were 'experiencing delays' due to service at Belvedere being 'reduced to a single track.'

A woman was shot in the buttocks on Friday night on Syracuse's North Side, according to the Syracuse Police Department. The twenty four-year-old woman, who has not been named, told police that she was sitting in her car when she was shot and drove away after she was injured, said Sergeant Richard Helterline, a Syracuse police spokesman.Officers were called at about 11pm. The woman, suffering from a gunshot wound to her buttocks, was transported to Upstate University Hospital for treatment. Her injury is not considered to be life threatening, Helterline said. The victims' vehicle also had damage from the gunshots. The suspect possibly left the area in a dark coloured van. No additional suspect description is available, Helterline said.

Dogs cannot 'get autism,' the British Veterinary Association has warned, after the 'anti-vaccine' movement spread to pets. 'Anti-vaxxers' believe that immunisations have harmful side effects and may be the cause of autism in children - beliefs widely debunked by the medical community according to the Torygraph. This theory is increasingly being applied to pets, particularly in the US - big surprise - and there are fears that it is spreading to the UK and could cause already low vaccination in pets rates to fall still further. The BVA said: 'We are aware of an increase in anti-vaccination pet owners in the US who have voiced concerns that vaccinations may lead to their dogs developing autism-like behaviour. But there is currently no scientific evidence to suggest autism in dogs or a link between vaccination and autism. All medicines have potential side effects but in the case of vaccines these are rare and the benefits of vaccination in protecting against disease far outweigh the potential for an adverse reaction' Senior Vice President Gudrun Ravetz added: 'Vaccinations save lives and are an important tool in keeping our pets healthy. We know from the example of the MMR vaccine and its now disproven link to autism in children that scaremongering can lead to a loss of public confidence in vaccination and knee-jerk reactions that can lead to outbreaks of disease. Distemper and parvovirus are still killers in pets and the reason we no longer see these on a wider scale is because most owners sensibly choose to vaccinate.' Lisa Tenzin-Dolma, founder of the International School for Canine Psychology and Behaviour, said: 'We don't have scientific evidence to back claims of canine autism, however we have seen anecdotal evidence of dogs having a marked change in their behaviour ('canine dysfunctional behaviour'). Symptoms are things like increased aggression or dogs becoming more fearful. This could be down to any number of causes: the loss of a carer or the arrival of another dog. Some people link the changes to thyroid issues, but it is all down to individual circumstances.' Despite accepting these dog behavioural issues were a real problem, Tenzin-Dolma said she 'would not advise people against vaccinations due to fear of canine autism as there was a lack of scientific evidence.' The comments came after the ITV breakfast show Good Morning Britain tweeted: 'We're looking to speak to pet owners who haven't given their pets vaccinations because they're concerned about side effects - as well as people who have done so and now believe their pet has canine autism as a result.'

A Maidstone man's body was run over by around three hundred London Underground trains after staff mistook him for a fox, it has been claimed. The forty seven-year-old man's remains were found on the tracks between Holborn and Russell Square on the Piccadilly Line in the early hours of 29 December last year, with reports suggesting that the body had been there 'since the previous day.' A tube train automatically stopped just before 11.30am on 28 December, after a rear trip switch was activated, but when a manager was sent out to check the area, they only reported seeing 'a fox' lying dead. It wasn't until the following day - after an estimated twenty six trains an hour would have passed along the line - when police were called and the remains were declared to be human. A British Transport Police spokesman said: 'We were called at 1.42am on 29 December to reports that a body had been found in the tunnel between Holborn and Russell Square stations. A forty seven-year-old man from Maidstone was declared dead at the scene. The death was not believed to be suspicious and so a file was prepared for the coroner.' A Transport for London spokesperson added: 'Our thoughts are with the family and friends of the man who was found in the tunnel. We are unable to comment further at this time pending the conclusion of the coroner's inquest.'

A Limerick cruise ship worker had to be admitted to an A&E in the Bahamas this week after he inadvertently rubbed his itchy eyes after eating a packet of chilli crisps. Cian McCormaic may have 'special skills in fire breathing,' but this time the thirty-year-old couldn't handle the heat, resulting in his eyes 'swelling up to triple the size.' Cian - an actor, presenter and all-round entertainer -explained to the Limerick Leader that the unfortunate series of events started after he decided 'to have a snack after a hard day's work. I had a nice almond chocolate bar and these spicy chilli crisps. Happy out with myself munching away, I got an itch in my eye. Like any good itch it needs a good scratch. Scratched away not knowing I had some bits of chilli on the back of my hand. Chilli-plus-eye equals not a fun adventure. Even though I was in pain I knew I had done something stupid. Thank God the doctor is professional and proceeded to wash my eye out a few times and noticed a piece was stuck in the eye. With the assistance of the nurse holding my eye open, the doctor proceeded to numb my eye and with what looked like a pin coming at me and scraped this lone chilli flake out,' he explained. Despite the discomfort, Cian has been able to the funny side to this episode, he claimed. 'I am a very positive down-to-Earth guy who tries to have a laugh and find the fun all the time. But this was such a random and silly accident that if you didn't laugh you'd cry. The best part is the pirate-looking eye-patch [which is] very stylish. When people ask what happened I could have said such a cool manly-man story, but I think attack of the crisps is a life lesson.'

A Scottish teenager has 'revealed' how she 'demanded a refund' from 'a Facebook psychic' who 'failed to deliver.' Mind you, this is according to the Sun so it's probably a right load of old bollocks. Niamh Gargan reportedly paid a tenner to be 'told her fortune' but was 'seriously underwhelmed' by the result. The nineteen-year-old from Glasgow received 'less-than-startling predictions' such as that she was 'into beauty and hair' and 'wanted to settle down with someone.' The alleged Facebook psychic, 'Brodie Mcdougall,' at first declined a refund, insisting that her work 'takes a lot of energy.' And, a lot of imagination, presumably. But, after a further series of predictions 'fell well wide of the mark' - including pregnancy - the psychic gave in and returned Niamh's cash. Niamh sent screenshots of her conversation with the alleged 'clairvoyant' to her friend, Matthew Currie, who then posted them on Twitter for the entire Interweb to read with the caption: 'Honestly, couldn't make up the stuff Niamh does. Paid a random lassie ten pounds for a psychic reading and got this.'

A woman from Argentina accused of cutting off her boyfriend's penis with gardening scissors claimed that she was provoked because he showed his friends their homemade sex tape, according to reports. Brenda Barattini, twenty six, allegedly committed the revenge attack in the Nueva Cordoba area of the Argentine city of Cordoba last November, which left her forty-year-old boyfriend with ninety percent of his penis chopped off and 'in life-threatening condition.' Barattini, who is in The Big House ahead of her trial, told La Voz that she 'suffered great psychological harm' because of the leaked tape. 'I cut his penis but not completely: I injured him,' she said, according to a translation of her jail interview. The man has been 'left depressed,' one of his attorneys said, as he waits for future operations. Hospital employees were unable to reattach his penis, as FOX News previously reported.

A seventy five-year-old man was arrested on Tuesday after he allegedly 'smacked' a waitress at a Sonny's BBQ in Florida on the bottom, police said. Mark Leonard was taken into custody and charged with battery after video surveillance showed him lift 'his right-hand and smacked her buttocks very hard,' according to the report. The waitress told Palm Bay police that Leonard had been coming into the Palm Bay eatery for the past year and had 'acted very friendly' towards her and other employees. 'He often walks closely with the hostesses and rubs their shoulders or lower back,' the officer said, according to statements made by employees. The female waitresses 'felt very uncomfortable' to the point where they refuse to serve Leonard. However, when they do, they spend minimal time at his table to avoid contact. 'Mark often makes unnecessary comments such as "Here is a forty dollar tip, go buy a new bathing suit, I want to see,"' the waitress said in her statement to police. The waitress also claimed that Leonard 'makes comments' about her being pregnant and says that her boyfriend 'needs to take care of things' as he poked her stomach. When Leonard smacked one of the waitresses on her buttocks in front of other employees, she went to the kitchen area to cry, the report said. Leonard denies touching the waitress, but the video footage obtained by the police appears to confirm the incident. He was very arrested and transported to the Brevard County Jail.

Schools are alleged to be removing analogue clocks from examination halls because teenagers are unable to tell the time, a head teachers' union has said. Teachers are now installing digital devices after pupils sitting their GCSE and A-level exams complained that they were 'struggling to read the correct time' on an analogue clock. Malcolm Trobe, deputy general secretary at the Association of School and College Leaders, said youngsters have become accustomed to using digital devices. 'The current generation aren't as good at reading the traditional clock face as older generations,' he told the Torygraph. 'They are used to seeing a digital representation of time on their phone, on their computer. Nearly everything they've got is digital so youngsters are just exposed to time being given digitally everywhere.'

A Georgia teenager learned that she faces felony vehicular homicide charges in the case of the death of her best friend this week. Cristina Pavon-Baker, seventeen, crashed on Interstate Seventy Five in Morrow during 'Senior Skip Day.' The crashed killed Mikayla Penn, eighteen. Pavon-Baker's attorney asked the judge on Wednesday not to take Pavon-Baker's passport since she 'had a cruise scheduled' next month. Presumably, that's now off. The suggestion upset the victim's family and the district attorney. 'She doesn't need to be on a cruise enjoying herself,' Clayton County District Attorney Tracy Graham Lawson told the court. Lawson was reported to be 'clearly irritated' when Pavon-Baker's attorney asked the judge to not take the teen's passport as a condition of bond. 'We would ask the court to allow her to leave the state and not put that restriction on her,' Pavon-Baker's attorney Jackie Patterson said. Lawson responded: 'I have an eighteen-year-old that can't go on a cruise. I have an eighreen-year-old who can't be with her parents who are in the back of this courtroom.' On 26 March, Pavon-Baker and Penn were driving to the Southlake Mall. Prosecutors said that Pavon-Baker drove at one hundred and six miles per hour in a sixty five miles per hour zone. Baker's Mini Cooper crashed and rolled killing Penn. 'We have some information that Snapchat may have been used' during the drive, Lawson said. Pavon-Baker is facing first-degree vehicular homicide, reckless driving and speeding charges. Patterson said that he 'meant no harm' in asking for Baker to go on the cruise. 'We were not trying to be insensitive. We were just trying to say, "Judge, she has already had these tickets for this cruise,"' Patterson told Jones. The judge gave Baker a thirty thousand dollar bond and ordered her to surrender her passport. The judge also ordered her not to drive and to stay off Snapchat.

A man who claims that his friend inserted an entire chopstick up his penis whilst they were 'blind drunk' has had the object removed in hospital. NVD, the forty two-year-old patient, 'sought medical help' in Vietnam's Southern Dong Nai Province after complaining of difficulty urinating and pain in his penis according to the Daily Scum Mail. Doctor Tran Phuong of the Saigon-Dong Nai ITO Hospital, where the man was taken, said that scans 'did not reveal the foreign bodies' inside the man's penis, suggesting 'it was not metal.' The chopstick had been 'shoved' so deep into the organ that its tip was about 1.18 inches from the urethral opening, the doctor said. The doctor added that the entire chopstick, which measured some four inches long, was able to be pushed out of the front end out of the patient's urethra by him, without the need for surgery. The man later revealed that his friend had inserted the chopstick up his penis 'for fun' whilst they were 'blind drunk.' Doctor Tran said the patient did not require an overnight stay and was discharged on the same day.

The Grandview Golf Club in York, Pennsylvania, has grovelling apologised after it called the police on a group of black women after the co-owner and his father said that the five-some was 'playing too slowly' and refused to leave the course. The women - who are all members of the golf club - were told they were 'not keeping the pace of play' on the second hole by former York County Commissioner Steve Chronister, who claimed to be the owner of the club. They claimed that they were keeping pace with the group ahead of them and talked with the golf professional at the course after Chronister confronted the group. They claimed the golf pro said they were 'fine.' 'I felt like we were discriminated against,' Myneca Ojo, one of the women in the group, told the York Daily Record. 'It was a horrific experience.' After finishing the first half of their round, three members of the group decided to leave 'because they were so shaken up by the incident.' The two who stayed to finish the round were then approached by Chronister, his son Jordan and several other white, male employees, who told them they had five minutes to leave the club and that police had been called. The reasoning, they said, was that they had 'taken too long.' Jordan Chronister, who identified himself as the co-owner, was 'aggressive, confrontational and condescending,' to the group, the women said. The police arrived, conducted interviews with all parties and left without charging anyone, saying that the 'issue did not warrant any charges.' JJ Chronister, Jordan's wife and co-owner of the club, said that she had 'reached out' to the group on Sunday to apologise and that she wanted to meet with the women in person. 'We sincerely apologise to the women for making them feel uncomfortable here at Grandview, that is not our intention in any way,' she told the York Daily Record.