Thursday, April 11, 2013

All My Feelings Are More Than I Can Let By

Jenna-Louise Coleman her very self has suggested that Doctor Who's series seven finale will be 'spine-tingling.' Then again, so is multiple sclerosis so this isn't, necessarily, a good thing. The as-yet unnamed episode has been written by Doctor Who showrunner The Lord Thy God Steven Moffat and is expected to lead into the fiftieth anniversary special in November and, then, the 2013 Christmas episode. Coleman said that one of the major reveals in the season finale will be why the Victorian-era version of Clara's birthday is on 23 November, the same day that Doctor Who premiered in 1963. 'In the Christmas episode, I didn't know why that was the case. But again, we will find out by the end of this series,' she told TV Guide. The actress added of the finale: 'It's really exciting - [it] is phenomenal. My spine was tingling when I read it. Again, I'm teasing you so badly here, but there's the beginning opening sequence, which [is] kind of building up into the fiftieth. It's just huge.' Coleman also talked about the very first time she walked onto the new TARDIS set while filming last year's Christmas episode The Snowmen. 'It was strange because obviously it was a brand-new TARDIS, so it was a set that nobody's ever used before or seen before at this point,' the actress recalled. 'But this is where you're going to be for however many [of] the next couple of seasons or years, so it's like mine and Matt's new place.' She went on to say: 'For him, he was running up and down all the stairs like a giddy kid who got his toy back. We didn't actually have the TARDIS for the first four months of me shooting because it was still being built. So it was pushed away in a dark corner and cordoned off so nobody could go in and look at it.'

Psst, wanna see a photo from Saturday's 'return of the Ice Warriors' episode, dear blog reader? Course y'do, you're only human after all. Are, if you're an Ice Warrior, you're only Martian, after all.
Meanwhile, yer actual Sylvester McCoy - remember him? - has used a public event to whinge about not appearing in the forthcoming Doctor Who fiftieth anniversary episode. Not than anyone with half-a-brain in their collective head actually expected him to: 'All the fanbases all over the world believe [the past Doctors should be involved], but not the producers,' he moaned petulantly. Do they? You've asked them all, personally, have you, Sylv? Because yer actual Keith Telly Topping counts himself, if nothing else, a fully paid up member of Doctor Who fandom and I certainly didn't get the memo saying I was party to demands that old Doctors should return. I think, Sylv, what you actually mean is you wanted to be in it. But, you're not. Way of the world, mate, way of the world.
The producer of Sherlock has issued a statement asking fans not to share spoilers and set photos while series three is filming. Yeah, that's gonna work, isn't it? Yer actual Sue Vertue praised the 'love and dedication' for the popular BBC detective drama, but pleaded with fans to avoid revealing details on where the cast and crew are shooting. In a message sent to fansite Sherlockology, Sue wrote: 'As many of you are aware, we'll soon be embarking on our first London leg of filming for series three. I'm also aware that there is quite a lot of speculation about where we're shooting when. I can't stress how much we the producers and Benedict, Martin and the rest of the cast appreciate your love and dedication to our show - we'll endeavour to live up to your expectations for series three. What I am nervous about is that our London shooting schedule is punishing and will really give us very little time to interact with you. The actors really hope you understand that.' She added: 'Also, and I know this is probably asking a lot, the majority of fans and indeed ourselves would really appreciate it if you didn't post pictures or spoilers or ideally our daily locations. Thanks for your understanding.' Good luck with that, Sue.
The BBC has decided to change the scheduled time of The Voice from Saturday week. The talent show is scheduled to begin at 6.45pm this week but from Saturday 20 April it will begin at the later time of 8.20pm and will last for one hour. The changes mean that The Voice will only overlap with ITV's Britain's Got Talent for ten minutes. Strong competition (plus a number of other factors) led to last year's series seeing a drop in viewing figures after its early blind audition stages had provided massively popular. The Voice - which stars coaches Jessie J, Tom Jones, Will.He.Is and Danny O'Donoghue - faced challenges last weekend when it was on at the same time as Saturday Night Takeaway. The ITV programme got an overnight average of 7.3 million compared to 6.4 million for The Voice. The Voice did, however, record the highest peak audience last Saturday with 8.8 million compared to 8.2 million for its ITV rival. A BBC spokesperson said: 'We are trying to avoid overlaps so have moved later in the best interest of viewers, following ITV's move last week to create a clash.' This also means a later start time for Doctor Who - 6:45 - from 20 April.

Twenty Four Hours in A&E had a strong start to its new series on Channel Four on Wednesday night, overnight data has revealed. The medical documentary series returned for its third run to 2.63 million viewers at 9pm. BBC1's MasterChef brought in another decent overnight audience of 4.73m at 8pm. In the episode, as previously noted, we had the hilarious sight of philosophy student Guy who said he was 'quite competitive' and felt that he was 'good enough to go far in this competition.' But, he didn't because he couldn't tell the difference between pork and lamb. There was also Drew, a bookseller, who appeared to be a nice guy but who looked, frankly, like he'd shat in his own pants during the invention test and whose palate test beef curry went decided pear-shaped. And then there was a trio of ladies all of whom made it through to the quarter finals despite there being, in theory, only two places on offer. John and Gregg, clearly, enjoy bending the rules whenever they feel like it! There was lovely mumsy Saira, who - unusually - wasn't shown bigging herself up like most of the initial interviewees. Indeed, she confessed that she didn't know if she had what it takes to win the competition but she was going to give it her best. So, she's likely to go far! Typically, she actually appeared to be the stand-out chef on display cooking a series of simply gorgeous looking Asian-based dishes.
Food pornography, so it was! There was also Natalie who is an office worker, and, in her spare time a DJ and 'a Leo', apparently, although what the latter has to do with her cookery skills is a question probably best left for another day. Both she and HR advisor Louise weren't entirely faultless in what they served up but both of them did more than enough to suggest they have the potential to go further. On the other side, the single most thigh-slappingly funny aspect of the night's ratings was ITV's Food Glorious Food falling even further to but 2.17m punters at 8pm, less than half of MasterChef's audience. Yer actual Keith Telly Topping his very self laughed and he laughed and he laughed, dear blog reader, until he stopped. And then, he laughed some more. The scowl on Wee Shughie McFee, the sour-faced Scottish chef off Crossroads' boat-race should be a sight to see. Meanwhile risible, odious, full of her own importance Victoria Wood's new series Nice Cup of Twee - which, despite the presence of Matt Smith in it was thoroughly, and depressing crap as you'd expect - was watched by 3.29m at 9pm. Opposite that, Scott & Bailey continued to perform well, attracting the best non-soap ratings of the night with 5.06m. A further three hundred and forty thousand punter tuned in on ITV+1. On BBC2, Coast dropped a couple of hundred thousand viewers from last week's opener to 2.13m at 8pm. Frank Gardner's documentary Return to Saudi Arabia was seen by eight hundred and fifty five thousand at 9pm. On Channel Five, Rolf's Animal Clinic was watched by eight hundred and fifty seven thousand at 8pm. NCIS followed with 1.16m at 9.15pm. BBC3 scored the best digital ratings of the night with its broadcast of the movie Enemy of the State being watched by nine hundred and twenty four thousand at 9pm. The BBC4 documentary The Century That Wrote Itself which yer actual Keith Telly Topping was watching to avoid that dreadful Wood woman, was seen by three hundred and thirteen thousand punters at 9pm.

Sky Go customers have expressed their anger upon being unable to watch the season six premiere of Mad Men in real time. Ooo, incandescent in their frothy-mouthed fury, so they were. Well, take it up with Victoria Wood, then guys, she's the one whose been telling us all how rilly and totally great Sky is for the last few years. The award-winning drama returned to UK screens on Wednesday evening, being shown on Sky Atlantic. Customers complained both on Twitter and the Sky Help forums, arguing that advertising had given them the impression that they would be able to stream the show live. Sky Go users claimed that on signing into the service, Mad Men was blacked out and listed as 'unavailable for live viewing.' The programme does not currently appear in Sky Go's list of 'blacked out' programmes which are not available online due to broadcast rights issues.

If you have ever seen it, you will know exactly what the Daily Scum Mail means when it refers to 'the most irritating haircut on TV.' It's Claudia Winkleman's fringe, apparently. Bit of an odd thing to get 'irritated' over when there are so many far more irritating things out there which are infinitely more worthy of ones time and, you know, irritation. But then, this is the Daily Scum Mail we're talking about. The Strictly Come Dancing and Great British Sewing Bee presenter is, apparently, being urged by Twitter fans to cut her fringe, which even has its own Twitter account dedicated to it. Who told you Twitter was a waste of time full of utterly foolish, trivial nonsense? Oh yes, it was me, wasn't it? The Scum Mail, always thorough with its research, reveals that 'since 2004 the fringe has grown about half-a-centimetre a year.' Quite how, exactly, they know this, they don't say.

The Premier League has voted to introduce goal-line technology from the 2013-14 season. British-based Hawk-Eye has been awarded the contract to provide the system. Hawk-Eye uses seven cameras per goal to detect the ball and claims its system is 'millimetre accurate, ensuring no broadcast replays could disprove the decision.' The Football Association will install a system at Wembley Stadium in time for August's Community Shield. Top-flight clubs voted to adopt the system during a meeting of the twenty Premier League chairmen on Thursday. Hawk-Eye is known for providing tennis and cricket with ball-tracking technology. Its football system notifies the referee if the ball has crossed the goal line via a vibration and optical signal sent to the officials' watches within one second. Once work is under way, installation of the system for the seventeen Premier League clubs who avoid relegation and the three teams promoted from the Football League is expected to take up to six weeks to complete. Stoke City Chairman Peter Coates welcomed the decision, but was wary about whether the use of technology should be extended to look at other areas, such as offside decisions. Although, given the run Stoke are on at the moment, frankly, that might not be too much of a problem for them come May. 'I think we should be careful. The great thing about our game is that it should be simple, free-flowing and that it carries on. We don't want to become like a rugby game, so I'm probably in favour of simplicity and keeping a lot as it is.' The Hamsters co-owner David Gold was 'open-minded' as to whether technology may be used beyond goal-line incidents. 'It's a start, who knows where it will take us? Fans will have a big say in this, and also TV will have a big say. We want to take the big, bad decisions out of football, and this kind of technology will do that. It's been a good day for football.' Momentum for the introduction of goal-line technology increased after Ukraine were denied an equaliser when the ball appeared to cross the line in a 1-0 defeat by England at Euro 2012. In the following month, the International Football Association Board in Zurich approved two systems for use in the sport. At this time the Premier League said it wanted to see its introduction 'as soon as is practically possible.' After the IFAB vote, FIFA president Sepp Blatter said Frank Lampard's so-called 'ghost' goal at the 2010 World Cup played a decisive role in the decision. Lampard's 'goal' came when England were 2-1 down in the second round against Germany. Fabio Capello's team went on to lose 4-1.

Odious louse and scumbag Dave Whelan wants football to mark the death of Baroness Thatcher with a one-minute silence. Just one more reason, then, to loathe the risible Wigan Athletic chairman and everything that he stands for, frankly. The Premier League and Football League will not be asking clubs to mark Thatcher's death at their upcoming fixtures. Probably because they know exactly what a such a request would achieve, particularly in the North. As well as Premier League and Football League games this weekend, the FA Cup semi-finals take place at Wembley, which come under the auspices of the Football Association. Whelan's Wigan meet Millwall on Saturday. Where, apparently, Wigan can't even sell all their tickets. Like I say, risible.

Former Beatle yer actual Sir Paul McCartney OBE has topped The Sunday Times Rich List of musicians with the six hundred and eighty million quid fortune he shares with his wife, Nancy Shevell. Sir Paul, whose American heiress wife is said to be worth one hundred and fifty million smackers in her own right, has topped each list since 1989 when he was worth an estimated eighty million notes. Horrifyingly, his gnomish Lordship Andrew Lloyd Nasty was second on the list, with six hundred and twenty million knicker, whilst The U2 Group - featuring Mr Bonio, Mr The Edge and ... the other two - were, collectively, third with five hundred and twenty million wonga. Enough to feed all of the third world for, at least, a week. Something, perhaps, to consider the next time Mr Bonio and/or Saint Bob Geldof ask you to give them your fuckin' money for the starving.
Record producer Andy Johns, who worked with Led Zeppelin and The Rolling Stones, has died aged sixty two. Johns, who was born in England but moved to the US in the 1970s, died in Los Angeles on Sunday following a brief hospital stay to treat a stomach ulcer. He engineered a number of classic LPs including Led Zeppelin II, III and IV and The Stones' Exile On Main Street and Sticky Fingers. Johns was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame last year. As a teenager he followed producer brother, Glyn, into the music industry, landing a job as a tape operator at London's Olympic Studios, where he worked on LPs including The Jimi Hendrix Experience's Axis Bold As Love. 'In those days you could go into one studio and Joe Cocker was working, and then you're working with Jimi Hendrix in Studio One, or down the corridor Eric Clapton is doing something,' Johns recalled. He went on to engineer work by the likes of Jethro Tull and Mott the Hoople, with producing credits including Free's Highway and Television's critically-acclaimed Marquee Moon. Kim Richards, chief executive officer and chairman of Allied Artists International, described Johns as 'truly a legend amongst legends; an icon of icons, who remains an inspiration to all who love and make music.' He is survived by his wife Annette, sons Evan, Jesse and William, and four grandchildren.

An all-female cast will perform a collection of Sylvia Plath's poems at this year's London Literature Festival. More than thirty five performers will each read a poem from Ariel, the posthumous collection which includes some of the poet's best known works. Juliet Stevenson, Harriet Walter, Anna Chancellor and Samantha Bond will be part of the line-up. The readings will be taken from the original manuscript found on Plath's desk after her death aged thirty. Ariel, which was published in 1965, two years after Plath's suicide, includes some of the poet's most widely known work including Lady Lazarus, Lesbos, Fever 103 Degrees, The Hanging Man, Edge and the extraordinary Daddy. The Southbank Centre's James Runcie said the work is 'one of the greatest collections of poetry ever written, and yer actual Keith Telly Topping, a huge fan of the poet's work, wouldn't disagree in the slightest. He said: 'This is an opportunity to hear her poems in the order she left them at her death - passionate, angry, ferociously observed and yet also hopeful, beginning with the word "love" and ending with "spring." I hope this will be an inspiring tribute to both her memory and her achievement,' he added. Sylvia's daughter, Frieda Hughes, will introduce the performance at the Royal Festival Hall in London on Sunday 26 May. Sounds well worthy that. I may go.

Now, a short personal note. Yer actual Keith Telly Topping's just had a bit of a score today, dear blog reader. You may remember that a couple of months ago, yer actual Keith Telly Topping's Uncle Alan, sadly, died (that's not the score part of this story, obviously). Anyway, yer actual Keith Telly Topping's cousin, David, has been clearing out his dad's house in preparation for selling it and the other day we got chatting and he asked if I would have any use for Alan's DVD recorder which, otherwise, was just going to get chucked out. Of course, I said, yes, I'd take it off his hands and I offered to drop him twenty notes for it but he said, no, I might as well have it if I could get some use of it. So, that was very nice. David delivered it round today at which point yer actual Keith Telly Topping discovered it's not just a DVD recorder (with about a dozen used discs to boot) and a tasty Panasonic one at that but, it's also one of those HDD recorders which have a hard drive in them - this one containing up to three hundred hours of memory. So, yer actual Keith Telly Topping hooked it up to the TV in the bedroom of Stately Telly Topping Manor and, y'bugger, it actually works! I was so happy when I got it sorted out that it was like tripping. A bit like The Polyphonic Spree were suddenly playing a gig in my head! I usually only get that sort of wonderfully light-headed sensation which I've stood up from the chair a bit sudden. There was, additionally, about fifty hours worth of programmes that Alan had recorded on the hard drive. Lots of it was stuff that I wasn't particularly interested in but there were a couple of decent movies, a few rather good BBC2 documentaries, some classic comedy (Tommy Cooper, Morecambe and Wise) and the 2011 Doctor Who Christmas episode. He had some taste me Uncle Alan, I always thought. So, like I say, score.

On that bombshell, dear blog reader, here's today's Keith Telly Topping's 45 of the Day. And The Polyphonic Spree their very - numerous - selves actually are playing a gig in Keith Telly Topping's head. Which is, you know, velvety.

No comments: