Monday, November 26, 2012

He Soothed The Souls Of Psychos And The Men Who Had The Horn

Yer actual Merlin is to end after the current series, it has been announced. The hit BBC1 telefantasy drama will climax with a two-part special this Christmas. Co-creators and executive producers Johnny Capps and Julian Murphy confirmed in a statement that the fifth series of the show would be its last, saying: 'This is the series where the storylines truly reach their apex. We always felt the story of the legend was best told across five series, leading to a spectacular finale that draws on the best known elements of this much-loved story and brings to a conclusion the battle for Camelot. We'd like to thank the amazing cast and crew for their professionalism and dedication, the BBC, FME and all of our partners globally for their incredible support and encouragement across the last five series. But chiefly, our thanks go to Merlin's remarkable and loyal audience around the world for their enthusiasm for the characters and Camelot universe.' BBC1 controller Danny Cohen said: 'Merlin's mix of magic, adventure and humour quickly became a hit with BBC1 audiences and has continued to thrill families over the last five years on Saturday nights. I admire the creators' decision to end Merlin on a high, but also know that we will miss it in the BBC1 schedule. On behalf of BBC1 I would like to thank Shine and all those involved in the making of the show both on and off screen. I hope fans will tune in over the coming weeks to see the spectacularly dramatic final episodes, and we have ambitious plans for new drama in the Saturday evening slot in 2013.' Personally, yer actual Keith Telly Topping always thought Merlin was a bit up its own arse to begin with although he did come to, if not love it exactly then, at least, live with it. And the series did, undeniably, improve greatly in its third, fourth and fifth series. He'll be sorry to see it go.

I'm A Z-List Former Celebrity Desperate To Get My Boat-Race Back On TV ... Please Vote For Me To Stay Here As Long As Possible (I'll Even Eat Worms If You Want) managed more viewers than The X Factor's results show for a third consecutive Sunday. However, BBC1's Strictly Come Dancing regained control of the overnight ratings jungle, the ballroom dancing show pulling in an overnight audience of 10.05 million viewers for Victoria Pendleton's exit. The worst Doctor in Doctor Who's history, Colin Baker, left I'm A Z-List Former Celebrity Desperate To Get My Boat-Race Back On TV ... Please Vote For Me To Stay Here As Long As Possible (I'll Even Eat Worms If You Want) to an audience of 9.56m from 9pm. The X Factor, meanwhile, was watched by 9.09m at 8pm on ITV as Rylan Clark departed from the contest, prior to which Surprise Surprise had an audience of 3.95m at 7pm. Meanwhile on BBC1, Countryfile (7.67m), Antiques Roadshow (5.93m) and The Secret of Crickley Hall (5.25m) commanded solid audiences. Elsewhere, Peep Show returned for an eighth run on Channel Four with eight hundred and forty thousand punters at 10pm. During the 9pm hour, Homeland held a steady 2.03m for Channel Four, enough to surpass The Dragons' Den which was seen by 1.68m on BBC2.

No final consolidated ratings data was available for ITV programmes for week-ending 18 November 2012 on the BARB website this week. Presumably because ITV are too ashamed of the fact that Strictly gave both The X Factor and I'm A Z-List Former Celebrity Desperate To Get My Boat-Race Back On TV ... Please Vote For Me To Stay Here As Long As Possible (I'll Even Eat Worms If You Want) a damned good hiding. So, instead, here's the final ratings for the Top Fifteen BBC1 shows for the period in question:-
1 Strictly Come Dancing - Sat - 11.41m
2 EastEnders - Mon - 8.68m
3 Children In Need - Fri - 8.22m
4 Merlin - Sat - 6.86m
5 Countryfile - Sun - 6.84m
6 The Secret Of Crickley Hall - Sun - 6.65m
7 Antiques Roadshow - Sun - 6.10m
8 The Paradise - Tues - 5.77m
9 Six O'Clock News - Wed - 5.10m
10 The ONE Show - Fri - 4.99m
11 Holby City - Tues - 4.83m
12 BBC News - Sun - 4.83m
13 Casualty - Sat - 4.70m
14 Ten O'Clock News - Fri - 4.60m
15 Match Of The Day - Sat - 4.11m
BBC2's half-hour coverage of Children In Need pulled in their best audience of the week (3.81m), slightly ahead of MasterChef: The Professionals (3.43m including BBC HD). Channel Four's most-watched show was Homeland (3.04m).

Dan Stevens will reportedly not return for the fourth series of Downton Abbey. The actor is said to be taking part in the first episode of the new series, due to be broadcast next year, but will then depart the popular costume drama. Although the reports have not officially been confirmed by ITV, an alleged 'source' from the show's production team allegedly told the Sunday Scum Express: 'Dan Stevens isn't returning to the series. He will probably do the first episode of the fourth series, but that will be it.' On Thursday, ITV confirmed that Downton Abbey has been - unsurprisingly - picked up for a fourth series and a Christmas special in 2013. Stevens will be appearing in this year's two-hour Christmas episode (which has already been filmed), which sees the Grantham family travel to Scotland, leaving the majority of the servants behind. The thirty-year-old actor is currently in the US performing on Broadway in The Heiress with Jessica Chastain.

As noted above, Colin Baker his very self has become the fourth celebrity to be eliminated from I'm A Z-List Former Celebrity Desperate To Get My Boat-Race Back On TV ... Please Vote For Me To Stay Here As Long As Possible (I'll Even Eat Worms If You Want). The former actor - giving his hammiest performance since, ooo, Timelash at least - lost in the head-to-head Bushtucker Trial against the Crafty Cockney yer actual Eric Bristow. Not a sentence yer Keith Telly Topping ever, for a single second, though he'd be writing. It's a funny old world, is it not dear blog reader?
And so, to something marginally more important.
Foreign Secretary (and slap head) William Hague has said that the government should 'err on the side of freedom' when considering plans for press regulation. Lord Justice Leveson, who has been inquiring into press standards, will make his recommendations on Thursday. Evegeny Lebedev, owner of the Independent newspaper, also said he was 'instinctively against' state regulation of the press. Victims of press intrusion are calling for an independent regulator, backed up by law, while newspaper editors are shitting themselves with fear that statutory regulation will 'limit press freedom.' Which it probably will but, frankly, whose fault is that, exactly? Speaking to The Andrew Marr Show on BBC1, Billy Fizz said he was a 'big supporter of press freedom' but wanted to read the Leveson report before pronouncing on it. Unlike his cabinet colleague rat-faced loathsome wretched odious nasty slavver-merchant and George Formby lookalike Gove, it would seem. 'None of us have seen the report yet,' Hague said. 'So, although I'm a big supporter of the freedom of the press, I'm also a big supporter of actually reading something before you pronounce on it. We will have to do that, but in my case, from that philosophical viewpoint you have to err on the side of freedom.' The government will decide how to take forward any recommendations the report makes. Downing Street said the prime minister was 'open-minded' about the future regulation of the press - unlike his education secretary and his health secretary - and will 'make no decisions' before he has seen Lord Justice Leveson's report. And, had a chance to discuss the matter with billionaire tyrant Rupert Murdoch no doubt. The prime minister had indicated previously he intends to implement Leveson's recommendations, provided they are 'not bonkers.' Unlike his education secretary. And his health secretary. Lebedev told The Andrew Marr Show that growing up in Russia, where the press was entirely state-controlled, had resulted in him being opposed to 'any form of government regulation. That said, I have got great sympathy with the victims of phone-hacking, the families of the Dowlers and the McCanns. If we are to stay with some sort of self-regulation it has to be extremely different from what it was before.' He added that the problems surrounding illegal phone-hacking were 'not so much the regulation but the enforcement of legislation. I still can't quite get my head round why the biggest scandal in this is being overlooked. It's the law enforcement agency, the police, who should have been arresting those very journalists but they weren't, because they were on the take.' Good point, well made. The chairman of the PCC, Lord Hunt (no relation), has set out what he believes is the 'best way forward' for press regulation, which he presented to the inquiry in January. He told Sky News: 'I've been very careful not to name this new body, but it will not be the PCC, it will not be PCC II, it won't be Son of PCC. It will be, for the first time ever in this country, a tough, independent regulator with teeth. I think the PCC has been unfairly criticised. Perhaps the best defence was the Lord Chief Justice who said it is wrong the criticise the PCC for failing to exercise powers it never had in the first place. It is set up in the wrong way, it is not a regulator.' The Leveson Inquiry was established by the prime minister in July 2011 and looked into the culture, practices and ethics of the press. It was commissioned following allegations of illegal phone-hacking at the disgraced and disgraceful Scum of the World. Lord Justice Leveson has been asked to produce a list of recommendations for a more effective policy and regulatory regime for the press, which would preserve the independence of the press while encouraging higher ethical and professional standards.

And now the first in a new - and somewhat irregular - From The North series, 'Great Scenes From Waking The Dead'. Number one: Frankie disarms a bomb in the series' finest ever two-parter False Flag.
'It's all right, she took a course,' Peter Boyd explains to a startled Mel. 'I never said I passed,' replies Frankie with the brilliantly pithy comic timing Holly Aird was so renowned for. Next time, number two,good old Mad As Toast Ken Russell playing, essentially, himself in another the series' keynote episode, Final Cut.

Yer actual Lara Pulver and Kayvan Novak are to appear in the final series of Skins. The Sherlock actress and the Facejacker star will both appear opposite Kaya Scodelario in Skins Fire. Pulver will play Vanessa, a 'ball-breaking business bitch,' while Novak has been cast as Jake, Effy's wealthy new boss to whom she gets too close. 'It's been fun for me to step into a very different style of TV show,' said Pulver. 'But there's actually kind of a parallel, as I'm joining Skins at a time when the show is also entering new territory, following these well-known and loved characters as they start the next chapter of their lives. Playing opposite Kaya has been a lot of fun. We're both playing strong-minded, ambitious women who are in the midst of very different stages of their lives. This causes friction between them and yet they can't help but find compassion and an ally in one another.' The divine Pulver's additional credits include [spooks], True Blood and the forthcoming Da Vinci's Demons, while comic and actor Novak is best known for his Fonejacker and Facejacker series, as well as for appearing in Channel Four's Sirens.

The BBC is poised to sign a multi-million pound TV rights deal to extend its eighteen-year screening of the National Lottery draws. Camelot, the operator of the National Lottery, is expected to sign a new multi-year deal with the BBC this week. The BBC's current six-year deal is due to expire at the end of December. It is not clear how long the new contract is for, but it will almost certainly take the corporation's exclusive live coverage of the National Lottery past twenty years. In 2006, the BBC saw off competition from ITV, which offered the temptation of running the draw around The X Factor. However, this time Camelot is not thought to be talking to rival broadcasters. The BBC considers the National Lottery draws, which are also broadcast on Wednesday and Friday, to be a key weapon in its ratings battle with ITV. In particular, the Saturday night draw, which regularly attracts audiences in excess of five million viewers, is considered a key plank in BBC1's weekend entertainment line-up. The BBC has held the rights since the first draw in November 1994, hosted by Noel Edmonds, which attracted an average audience of just over twenty million viewers and was the second most-watched programme of the year. 'We are in discussions with Camelot about the future of shows on the BBC, but we will not be losing the National Lottery from BBC1,' said a spokeswoman for the BBC. Andy Duncan, the chief executive of Camelot, said: 'We have had a long-term and very successful partnership for TV shows on the BBC, and we would expect that to continue.'

Danny Boyle's Olympic opening ceremony has been honoured at the Evening Standard Theatre Awards. The Oscar-winning director and his team got huge cheers when they picked up the Beyond Theatre award from gold medal-winning cyclist Victoria Pendleton. 'We hoped to prove that culture runs through all of us and binds us all together,' Boyle said. The awards, hosted by odious unfunny lard bucket (and drag) James Corden, were held at the Savoy Hotel on Sunday. Picking up his award, Boyle urged the audience to lobby for the inclusion of arts subjects in the English Baccalaureate. Other winners took the opportunity to speak out against theatre funding cuts. Dame Judi Dench was honoured with the Moscow Art Theatre's Golden Seagull award for her contribution to world theatre. The veteran stage and screen actress, who played M in the James Bond film until she got killed in Skyfall (come on, you've all seen it by now, surely?), said that she loved making movies 'but my absolute passion is the theatre.' Dame Judi will be seen on the stage in London next year in a new play, Peter and Alice, by Skyfall co-writer John Logan, opposite her Bond co-star Ben Whishaw. The award for best new play went to Nick Payne's Constellations, which has just transferred to the West End from the Royal Court. Starring Rafe Spall and Sally Hawkins, the story explores a couple's relationship in a series of alternative universes. At twenty nine, Payne is the youngest playwright to have received the award. The best actor prize went to Simon Russell Beale for his portrayal of Stalin in the black comedy Collaborators at the National Theatre.

When Channel Four grandees, alumni and alumnae gather tomorrow night to mark the station's thirtieth birthday, its former director of television will be missing according to a spectacularly spiteful and nasty piece in the Gruniad Morning Star. So, what else is new? Kevin Lygo, now at ITV, 'sighs', according to the piece, that he has been 'airbrushed out of its history' by 'the David Abraham/Jay Hunt regime.' Lygo left Channel Four in 2010 after a disagreement about a deal for Jonathan Ross ('Abraham vetoed it' claims the Gruniad); but last month's leaving party for Channel Four's comedy boss Shane Allen 'suggested Lygo may also be mistrusted as a king over the water figure.' Lygo was, apparently, present at the 'uproarious bash' when, the Gruniad alleges, Allen 'mockingly contrasted the chief creative officer – using clips to compare her to movie characters such as Nurse Ratched, and handing out "End the Hunt" badges and T-shirts – with Lygo, praised as "the glorious leader."' Could that missing invitation be Jay's revenge, wonders the sarcastic author of this wholly unworthy piece of journalism? How about, it's not of your frigging business, mate. And then journalists wonder why Brian Leveson wants to take them down a peg or two.

The new series of TV drama Dallas is to be rewritten to reflect the death of actor Larry Hagman, who played oil tycoon JR Ewing. Hagman, whose role as the stetson-wearing villain made him a global star in the 1980s, died on Friday aged eighty one. He reprised the role when a new version of the show appeared earlier this year. A statement from UK broadcaster Channel Five said: 'Dallas is midway in production on season two and this sad news will be incorporated into the storyline.' Hagman featured in a promotional video shot on the first day of filming for the new series and posted last month. The next season makes its premiere in the US on the TNT network on 28 January. The show was resurrected in the summer, more than twenty years after the original ended, with Hagman starring alongside other original actors including Patrick Duffy and Linda Gray. Gray was at Hagman's beside when he died on Friday and described him as 'my best friend for thirty five years. He was the Pied Piper of life and brought joy to everyone he knew. He was creative, generous, funny, loving and talented and I will miss him enormously,' she added. 'He was an original and lived life to the full.' Ken Kercheval, who played Cliff Barnes, said the pair had 'a great deal of fun' acting out their on-screen rivalry in the 1980s. 'That sparring back and forth, I think that's what kept the show going for as long as it did because everybody had to wait and see who was going to win and who was going to lose,' he told BBC 5Live on Sunday. 'JR was not a nice man. He was terrible. He was quite the opposite of Larry. Those characters are always fun to play and he played it to the hilt. Larry was one of a kind, he really was.' Michael Preece, who directed more than sixty episodes of Dallas and was a friend of Hagman, said the actor was always a pleasure to work with. 'He was perfect,' he told the BBC News channel. 'Between Patrick Duffy, Linda Gray, they were all like directors. Larry did direct a lot of episodes, and you'd stage a scene, they would just stage it for you, he was terrific. And you try to get most of his work before lunch, because he was better in the morning - but he was great to be around, it was like a family.' Another original cast member, Victoria Principal said Hagman had been 'bigger than life, on-screen and off. He is unforgettable, and irreplaceable, to millions of fans around the world, and in the hearts of each of us, who was lucky enough to know and love him.' During its original run between 1978 and 1991, Dallas was one of the CBS network's top-rated programmes and was watched by an estimated three hundred million people in fifty seven countries. Hagman's forthright biography Hello Darlin' detailed his youthful drug-taking exploits and revealed the extent of his fifty-year battle with alcoholism. Even on the hardworking set of Dallas, he consumed five bottles of champagne a day for years and was finally diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver in 1992. Three years later he had a liver transplant and kept a photo of the organ donor above his mirror. Despite this, Hagman continued to drink secretly until a further life-saving operation in 2003 forced him to stop.

The actress Dinah Sheridan, who appeared in classic British films including The Railway Children and Genevieve, has died at the age of ninety two. Sheridan, who played the mother in The Railway Children, also had roles in The Mirror Crack'd and the BBC sitcoms Don't Wait Up and All Night Long. She played Chancellor Flavia in the 1983 Doctor Who episode The Five Doctors. The actress died peacefully at her home in Northwood surrounded by her family on Sunday, her agent said. Born Dinah Nadyejda Ginsburg in Hampstead to a Russian father and German mother, Dinah changed her name to Sheridan when she auditioned for the role of Wendy in a theatrical production of Peter Pan starring Jean Forbes Robertson. She made her film début aged just fifteen in Father Steps Out but put her acting career on hold to become an ambulance driver when the Second World War broke out. She appeared in a few films during the war but her career started to take off after the war ended, and in 1953 she achieved a breakthrough with Genevieve, a classic British comedy about a veteran car rally. Marriage and health problems subsequently saw Sheridan retire from acting for a number of years but she made a triumphant return on the big screen in 1970 with The Railway Children, co-starring Bernard Cribbins and Jenny Agutter. Among her many TV roles, she appeared with Nigel Havers in Don't Wait Up as well as in another BBC sitcom All Night Long. Married four times, Dinah had three children with her first husband, the late comedian and actor Jimmy Hanley. She is survived by two of their children, the politician and financier Jeremy Hanley and the actress and presenter Jenny Hanley.

England ruthlessly completed a memorable ten-wicket victory over India in the second Test in Mumbai to level the four-match series. Monty Panesar and Graeme Swann shared the last three India second-innings wickets in forty five minutes on the fourth morning to bowl the hosts out for one hundred and forty two. England's openers Alastair Cook and Nick Compton then knocked off a target of fifty seven with ease before lunch. It is only England's second Test win in India in fourteen matches since 1985. England's spectacular all-round performance was the perfect antidote to their meek showing in the first Test and ignites the series with two matches to play. The recalled Panesar made a mockery of the decision to leave him out in Ahmedabad with a Test-best eleven wickets in the match as nineteen of the twenty India wickets fell to spin, while Cook and Kevin Pietersen scored brilliant hundreds to secure a crucial first-innings lead of eight six. Man of the match Pietersen's assault on the India bowling on his way to one hundred and eighty six on Sunday afternoon was particularly important, demoralising the hosts and filling England with much-needed confidence. Panesar and Swann, who outbowled India's three spinners throughout, followed up with seven wickets on the third evening to ensure it was always likely to be a matter of when, rather than if, England would finish the job on Monday. Leading by thirty one runs with only three wickets in hand, India took ten runs off the first over of the day but Harbhajan Singh fell in the next when he gloved Swann to Jonathan Trott at slip. Zaheer Khan top-edged a slog-sweep and was easily taken by Matt Prior to give Panesar figures of six for eighty one, before opener Gautam Gambhir was trapped lbw for sixty five by Swann, who finished with four for forty three - and eight for one hundred and thirteen in the match. Fears of a scenario reminiscent of Abu Dhabi in January when England collapsed to seventy two all out chasing a modest one hundred and forty five to beat Pakistan were quickly dispelled as Cook and Compton set about their task with relish. Compton, playing his second Test, cracked four fours and a six in making thirty not out from twenty eight balls and Cook posted an unbeaten eighteen as the tourists cantered home. England's first win in six Tests leaves the series tantalisingly poised going into the third match in Kolkata starting on 5 December, with the finale in Nagpur to follow. England have not won a series in India since David Gower's side came from behind to seal a two-one triumph in 1985.

Red Bull's Sebastian Vettel won a third consecutive world drivers' title by three points at the climax of an enthralling Brazilian grand prix on Sunday. In an incident-packed, rain-affected race, Vettel fought back to finish sixth after dropping to last on lap one following a collision. His rival for the title, Fernando Alonso of Ferrari finished second, meaning he needed Vettel to be lower than seventh. McLaren's Jenson Button won (his third victory of the season) after his team-mate Lewis Hamilton - who had been leading - was hit by Force India's Nico Hulkenberg. The German was trying to pass Hamilton for the lead with twenty seven laps to go but lost control on the slippery track and slid into the side of Hamilton's car. Hulkenberg, driving the race of his career up to that point, was given a drive-through penalty and finished fifth, behind Alonso's team-mate Felipe Massa in third and Red Bull's Mark Webber in fourth. Vettel becomes the youngest driver in history to win three world titles - six years younger than the previous record holder, the great Ayrton Senna. He is only the third driver his history to win three championships in succession. 'It is difficult to imagine what goes through my head now even for myself,' Vettel said. 'I am full of adrenaline and if you poke me now I wouldn't feel it. It was an incredible race. When you get turned around at Turn Four for no reason and it becomes like heading the wrong way down the M25 it is not the most comfortable feeling. I was lucky no-one hit me but the car was damaged and we lost a lot of speed, especially when it dried up. Fortunately it started to rain again and I felt so much happier. A lot of people tried to play dirty tricks [during the season], but we did not get distracted by that and kept going, and all the guys gave a big push right to the end.' A breathless and topsy-turvy race, with intermittent rain, created drama from the first lap. Vettel made a bad start from fourth on the grid and at the fourth corner was clipped from behind by Lotus's Kimi Raikkonen and then hit by Williams's Bruno Senna. The impact knocked Vettel into a spin, and damaged the rear bodywork of his car, and he was last as he crossed the line at the end of lap one. Alonso finished the first lap in fifth but seconds later passed Massa and Webber as they went three abreast into Turn One to take third place. In those positions, Alonso would have been champion, but Vettel set about recovering lost ground and by lap eight was remarkably up to sixth place, while Alonso had slipped behind Hulkenberg after running wide at Turn One on lap five. Through a series of twists and turns at the front, including varying degrees of rain and a safety-car intervention, Vettel was always in control of the championship. With twenty laps to go, Alonso was fourth behind Hamilton, Hulkenberg and Button, and Vettel seventh. As rain began to fall harder, Hulkenberg closed on Hamilton and the two collided. So Hamilton's final race for McLaren ended in a retirement rather than a victory which, up to that point, had looked likely. More pit stops were needed for the leaders to fit intermediate tyres as the rain intensified, after which Button lead from Massa and Alonso, with Vettel seventh. Massa let Alonso by into second on lap sixty two, and two laps later Michael Schumacher, driving the last race of his career, moved over for his close friend and protégé Vettel to rise into sixth place and make his grip on the title more secure. In the closing laps, Vettel was repeatedly urged by his team to slow down, reminding him that his position was good enough to win the title. And then in a final dramatic twist, Paul di Resta crashed his Force India coming up the straight on the penultimate lap and the race finished under the safety car, confirming Vettel as champion. 'I'm very proud of the team,' said Alonso. 'We lost the championship before today, not in Brazil, this is a sport after all. When you do something with your heart and do it one hundred per cent you have to be proud of yourself and your team and we'll try again next year.' Button said: 'I want to congratulate the whole team. This is the perfect way to end the season. We have had ups and downs and to end on a high bodes well for 2013.'

Yer actual Rolling Stones returned to the London stage on Sunday night in the first of five concerts to celebrate their fiftieth anniversary. Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Charlie Watts and Rockin' Ronnie Wood were joined by their original bass player Bill Wyman at the 02 Arena. Richards joked with the audience: 'We made it. I'm happy to see you. I'm happy to see anybody.' Guests included Mick Taylor who played guitar on 'Midnight Rambler'. Taylor was originally in the Stones during one of their true golden periods, from 1969 to 1974. US singer Mary J Blige also duetted with Jagger on 'Gimme Shelter'. 'It's amazing that we're still doing this, and it's amazing that you're still buying our records and coming to our shows,' Jagger said. He also joked about the controversial price of the concert's tickets. 'How are you doing up in the cheap seats?' he asked fans in the upper rows. 'Except they're not cheap seats, that's the problem.' The show began with a brief video tribute from stars including Sir Elton John, Iggy Pop and Johnny Depp. The band played twenty three songs including some of their rarely-played early numbers such as 1964's 'It's All Over Now' and their second hit, a cover of The Beatles' 'I Wanna Be Your Man'. They also showed a video montage of some of their big influences such as Muddy Waters, Bob Dylan and Johnny Cash. BBC Radio 5Live's Colin Paterson said Jagger's energy 'was just frightening.' Comedian Noel Fielding, who was in the audience, told the BBC Richards was 'amazing. I think Keith played incredibly. 'Sympathy For The Devil', his lead on that was absolutely amazing,' he said. 'Mick came out in a cape which - as always - has got to be a bonus.' The band also played classics such as 'Paint It Black' and 'Jumping Jack Flash', but they didn't get to perform 'Satisfaction' as they ran out of time. Music critic Neil McCormick said the music sounded as good as it did when he first started going to gigs in the early 1980s. 'They really did seem happy to be there,' he told the BBC. 'There were many moments when they went completely mad.' The series of gigs marks fifty years since the band first appeared in a small London club determined to pay homage to the masters of American blues. There will be one more concert in London on Thursday, followed by one in New York, and two in New Jersey later in December.

A woman has been arrested for riding a manatee in Florida. A warrant was served last Saturday for the arrest of fifty three-year-old Ana Gloria Garcia Gutierrez. The alleged incident was photographed at Fort De Soto Park on 30 September, when an unidentified woman was said to be illegally 'harassing' and 'disturbing' the endangered species. According to a Pinellas County Sheriff's Office report, Gutierrez rang authorities to confess to her wicked and hellish crimes. The report continued: 'Gutierrez admitted to the offence, claiming she is new to the area and did not realise it was against the law to touch or harass manatees.'

A man from Florida has been charged with kissing a woman's buttocks whilst, allegedly, treating her for toothache. According to CBS Miami, John Collazos was arrested last week over the incident, which is said to have taken place in 2010. A female patient reportedly complained to police when forty seven-year-old Collazos administered paste to soothe her toothache and, when it didn't work, injected her bottom to reduce the pain, in the process kissing her buttocks and touching her genitalia. Collazos was arrested two months ago in Davie, Florida for 'carrying out unlicensed dentistry in a warehouse.' He is also said to have fitted a Hollywood apartment with dental equipment. The suspect targeted immigrants for his allegedly dodgy dental services, claims WSVN. Collazos has been charged with practising medicine without a licence and battery, with four victims identified.
Which brings us to yer actual Keith Telly Topping's 45 of the Day and, of course, Pogue Mahone. Come on, I don't just throw these things together, you know!