The title for the first episode of Doctor Who's forthcoming seventh series and details of when it will first be screened have been revealed this week. Asylum of the Daleks will be shown at BFI Southbank in London on 14 August, preceding its assumed premiere date at the Edinburgh International Television Festival later that month. Nick Pegg, operator of the Daleks in the BBC series - as well as the author of a definitive work on David Bowie which yer actual Keith Telly Topping is currently re-reading - confirmed the news on Twitter, writing: 'The title has been officially announced, so at last we can say it aloud: it was an absolute blast shooting Asylum of the Daleks!' That title had long been rumoured by Doctor Who fans. The episode will see the iconic creations return to the show for the first time since 2010. Series seven of Doctor Who will be the last to feature Karen Gillan (Amy Pond) and Arthur Darvill (Rory Williams) as the assistants to Matt Smith's Time Lord, as they will both be replaced by Jenna-Louise Coleman part-way through the new episodes. Two official photos of Coleman and Smith together during filming have been released in the run-up to the show's return in the autumn.
England's somewhat inevitable soul-crushing Euro 2012 exit - on penalties - was watched by a peak audience of over twenty three million punters on Sunday, overnight data has revealed. Roy Hodgson's side lost 4-2 on penalties to Italy after the game finished 0-0, following ninety minutes and extra time. The audience figures peaked at over 23.2m (an astonishing seventy seven per cent audience share) for the spot kicks, which ended in heartbreak for English fans after Ashley Young and Ashley Cole failed to convert. (One would, genuinely, love to know what the other twenty three per cent were watching. Yer actual Keith Telly Topping, incidentally, chose to record BBC's production of Julius Caesar and watch it after the match had finished!) The game itself averaged 20.3m (a sixty eight per cent share) between its 7.45pm kick-off and the end of the shoot-out at 10.20pm. The BBC's whole coverage of the event including pre and post match punditry from the Gary Lineker-anchored BBC team averaged 17.4m. Odious, full-of-his-own-importance TV critic Ian Hyland immediately took to Twitter about the huge ratings on Monday morning: 'Twenty three million watched England go out on penalties last night. That's one of the highest ever TV audiences for a repeat.' Fun-nee. Did you think that one up all on your own, mate, or did you have help? Ratings were increased considerably from England's first-round matches against Ukraine, France and Sweden, which reached averages of 16.1m, 12.3m and 14.1m viewers respectively. Sunday night's viewing figures topped last year's royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton, which peaked at 19.27m for BBC. However, the royal occasion was watched by a higher number of viewers overall (26.1m) across all channels. England's defeat means that the semi-finals on Wednesday and Thursday will now feature Spain versus Portugal and Germany versus Italy.
And, still on the subject of rating,s here's the Top Twenty programmes week-ending 17 June 2012:
1 Euro 2012: Sweden versus England - BBC1 Fri - 14.25m
2 Euro 2012: France versus England - ITV Mon - 12.55m
3 Coronation Street - ITV Mon - 8.71m
4 Euro 2012: Netherlands versus Germany - BBC1 Wed - 8.53m
5 Euro 2012: Portugal versus Netherlands - ITV Sun - 8.26m
6 Euro 2012: Spain versus Ireland - ITV Thurs - 7.65m
7 EastEnders - BBC1 Thurs - 7.35m
8 Euro 2012: Poland versus Russia - ITV Tues - 6.78m
9 Ten O'Clock News - BBC1 Fri - 6.68m
10 Euro 2012: Czech Republic versus Poland - BBC1 Sat - 6.40m
11 Euro 2012: Ukraine versus Sweden - BBC1 Thurs - 6.28m
12 Six O'Clock News - BBC1 Thurs - 5.52m
13 Emmerdale - ITV Thurs - 5.38m*
14 BBC News - BBC1 Sun - 5.35m
15 Silk - BBC1 Tues - 5.33m
16 Antiques Roadshow - BBC1 Sun - 5.13m
17 Countryfile - BBC1 Sun - 5.08m
18 Euro 2012: Italy versus Croatia - BBC1 Thurs - 4.97m
19 The ONE Show - BBC1 Tues - 4.55m
20 Holby City - BBC1 Tues - 4.46m
Those programmes marked '*' do not including HD ratings figures. Euro 2012 pre- and post-match coverage is excluded, these are the match ratings only. BBC2's highest rated shows were: Trooping The Colour Highlights (2.59m), Mock The Week (2.5m) and Springwatch (2.35m).
The BBC's coverage of the Arab Spring was generally impartial but could have benefited from greater breadth and context, according to the BBC Trust. It said the BBC should have done more to authenticate user-generated content, such as mobile phone footage taken by activists or bystanders. The Trust praised 'the considerable courage of journalists and technicians on the ground to bring stories to air.' Its report described the BBC's overall coverage as 'remarkable.' Yet the report also said there could have been more extensive follow-up of stories in some countries, a fuller examination of the different voices of opposition, and a broader range of international reaction to the events. The review was led by Edward Mortimer, a Middle East expert and former United Nations director of communications. He praised the coverage of the eighteen days of protests in Egypt leading to the fall of President Mubarak, the maintenance of a BBC presence on both sides of the conflict in Libya, and the coverage of the uprising in Tunisia. But he expressed some concern at the drop in the BBC's coverage of Egypt after President Mubarak's fall, and the delay in covering human rights abuses by rebel forces in Libya. He also questioned the lack of coverage of Saudi Arabia, and the lack of a clear policy about the use of the word 'regime' to describe governments that faced uprisings. Mortimer wrote that he was particularly impressed by 'the skill and care the BBC applies to checking user-generated content' but said that audiences should be given more information about this. Analysis by Loughborough University found that in seventy four per cent of UGC cases studied, the BBC failed to offer 'caveats about authenticity or representativeness.' The Trust said it commissioned the review not because it felt the BBC's coverage of the Arab Spring was deficient, but rather because it showed 'the importance and complexities of a group of fast-moving stories which are often extremely dangerous to cover on the ground.' The BBC said it was pleased to see the report's broad support for its coverage as a whole and the overall recognition of much 'outstanding and remarkable' journalism. At the same time, it continued, 'we also had to make sure we were covering major stories happening simultaneously elsewhere.'
Meanwhile, the BBC has promised to review the workload of its Middle East editor, Jeremy Bowen, following the BBC Trust report urging that he be encouraged to 'travel a little less.' Bowen, who has been in the post for seven years, is taking too many foreign trips and needs to be centrally located where he can lend his expertise to the BBC's strategic thinking about its coverage of the region. Mortimer's report noted that in 2010 alone Bowen visited Yemen twice, Egypt twice, Washington twice, Syria once, Israel and the Palestinian territories at least four times, Lebanon once, Geneva once, as well as interviewing the Lebanese prime minister in London. Bowen was given the post seven years ago in order to loan 'more consistency' to the BBC's coverage of the region, but his tenure has not been without incident. In 2009 the BBC Trust ruled that he was guilty of 'inaccuracies' in two stories, a January 2008 report for Radio 4's From Our Own Correspondent describing the history of the Israeli settlement Har Homa, near Jerusalem, in the 1960s, and a 2007 BBC website story, How 1967 defined the Middle East, about the legacy of the Six Day Arab-Israeli war. Bowen later attacked the ruling when accepting the British Journalism Review's Charles Wheeler award for an outstanding contribution to broadcast journalism. 'As Middle East editor for the BBC, I'm under pressure from lobbyists,' he said. 'I am recognised by my peers as also being able to stick to my guns.'
Several days overdue frankly, Jimmy Carr has finally had a go back at David Cameron for the prime minister's criticism of the comedian, telling an audience: 'What sort of fucking cunt would leave a kid in the pub?' Good question. The prime minister caused controversy by criticising Carr when it was revealed that Carr had been - legally - avoiding tax by paying £3.3m a year into offshore shelter. According to the Daily Scum Mail, despite issuing a full, unqualified apology earlier in the week, the thirty nine-year-old Carr is 'furious' at being singled out by Cameron after the PM had previously refused to criticise several Tory party donors - including Take That's Gary Barlow - for entering into similar schemes. At a stand-up gig in Stockport on Friday, Carr said of Cameron: 'He's a very bad man. What have I ever said about him? Literally fucking thousands of things.' He also derided Cameron for taking time out from high-level international politics to comment on Carr's tax affairs, saying: 'You know you're a dick when the prime minister breaks off from the G20 summit. He's having a meeting with Obama, [and] says, "Excuse me, Obama, there's something I need to deal with, Jimmy Carr's a fucking dick."' The comments appeared to be well-received by the crowd, although the star of Ten O'Clock Live still received a number of mostly good-natured heckles throughout the show, which he said he had been 'expecting' and which were 'fairly valid.' When Carr asked an audience member why he was twenty minutes late, the man replied, 'Sorry, I've been doing my tax returns,' which was met with laughter and applause from both Carr and the crowd. Cameron also faced criticism from within his own party for leaving politicians vulnerable to probes over their own financial affairs after he waded into Carr's tax row. Backbench Tory MP Mark Field said: 'The press will now feel it is fair game to expose and weigh up the morality of tax arrangements of Tory donors, high-profile Tory supporters and Tory MPs.' Fellow Conservative MP David Ruffley hit out at the PM, saying: 'Moral prescriptions are best left to priests and philosophers.' And Charlie Brooker, a co-star of Carr's on Channel Four satirical show Ten O'Clock Live, also launched a scathing attack on the PM for 'machine-gunning himself in the foot.' He said: 'It's interesting to see David Cameron condemn [Carr] as "morally wrong." He seems to have volunteered himself as the arbiter of moral judgment for the nation. Has he worked out yet whether Gary Barlow is morally wrong or not? Jimmy has definitely been made a scapegoat. And I don't see how Cameron can back pedal from that.' The former Lib Dem Treasury spokesman Lord Oakeshott, meanwhile, had told the Observer: 'If only Jimmy Carr had given fifty pounds to the Tories, Cameron would have had to pull his condemnation.' A spokesman for Cameron denied the prime minister had singled out Carr, saying his attack was on the comic's use of a particular tax avoidance scheme, known as K2, rather than the man himself. One or two people even believed him.
Lord Justice Leveson says he contacted Downing Street because he was 'concerned' about 'the perception' that his inquiry into press standards was 'being undermined.' The judge said he had asked the cabinet secretary if the government had already reached 'a settled view' on future regulation, but was assured that it had not. His phone call came after rat-faced loathsome wretched odious nasty slavver-merchant and George Formby lookalike Michael Gove said he feared the inquiry was having 'a chilling atmosphere' on free speech. The judge told his inquiry he had no 'hidden agenda' to stifle a free press. Lord Justice Leveson's statement followed claims published by the Scum Mail on Sunday that he had threatened to quit over the issue. The newspaper claimed - wrongly - that he made his threat following comments by rat-faced loathsome wretched odious nasty slavver-merchant and George Formby lookalike Gove to a press gallery lunch in February that there was 'a chilling atmosphere towards freedom of expression which emanates from the debate around Leveson.' Lord Justice Leveson confirmed that he had contacted Cabinet Secretary Sir Jeremy Heywood about rat-faced loathsome wretched odious nasty slavver-merchant and George Formby lookalike Gove's comments, and Cameron's subsequent statement at Prime Minister's Questions that his education secretary was 'making an important point.' The judge told the inquiry he had felt it 'necessary and appropriate' to raise the issue with Sir Jeremy. 'From my perspective, the issue was straightforward. Had the government reached a settled view along the lines that Mr Gove had identified, it would clearly have raised questions about the value of the work that the inquiry was undertaking at substantial cost,' he said. 'I recognised that the prime minister had said that it was right to set up the inquiry but I wanted to find out whether Mr Gove was speaking for the government, whether it was thought that the very existence of the inquiry was having a chilling effect on healthy, vibrant journalism, and whether the government had effectively a settled view on any potential recommendations. Put shortly, I was concerned about the perception that the inquiry was being undermined while it was taking place.' He said Sir Jeremy assured him that 'no fixed view had been formed and it was wrong to infer from the prime minister's observations any concerns or collective view.' Lord Justice Leveson told the inquiry he had considered convening a special session to deal with the Scum Mail on Sunday article, but decided against it on grounds of cost. He said he acknowledged there were concerns within the media about the impact of the inquiry, but insisted that he was 'fully committed' to press freedom. 'I also understand that, on every day of the inquiry, every exchange I have with a witness will be analysed in order to reveal a hidden agenda. There is none,' he said. 'No recommendations have been formulated or written. No conclusions have yet been reached.'
Rich posh boy George Osborne and rat-faced loathsome wretched odious nasty slavver-merchant and George Formby lookalike Michael Gove have been refused privileged access to key evidence on the future of press regulation after Lord Justice Leveson rejected their applications for core participant status to the next stage of his inquiry. The chancellor and education secretary, as well as the business secretary Vince Cable, had their applications for core participant status turned down in a ruling published on the inquiry website on Monday. Leveson said the ministers' 'general interest in the inquiry' was not sufficient to grant them special access to key documents. This ruling came as core participant status was given to several victims of press intrusion, including Gerry McCann, the father of Madeleine, Bob Dowler, the father of Milly Dowler, and the actor Hugh Grant. Prime minister David Cameron, deputy prime minister Nick Clegg and the lack culture secretary the vile and odious rascal Hunt have also been granted core participant status for the inquiry's fourth and final stage. The next module of the inquiry is focused on the future of press regulation. Unlike previous modules, the inquiry will publish proposals submitted by witnesses before they give evidence. Core participants will still be given advance sight of evidence to the inquiry – including detailed proposals put forward by other parties – and make representations on them. This phase of the inquiry is due to begin in the second week of July. Unlike normal witnesses, core participants are able to ask questions of other witnesses and propose redactions and corrections to sensitive written evidence submissions. Cameron and seven other cabinet ministers were given the status for the previous module of the inquiry – into relations between politicians and the press – but Leveson said that alone did not mean their core participant status should be automatically extended. Plus, it gave him a really good opportunity to, for the second time in a day, slap down rat-faced loathsome wretched odious nasty slavver-merchant and George Formby lookalike Gove like a bee-atch. Which was funny. 'I see real advantage in whatever assistance can be provided by those with responsibility for policy in the areas that are the subject matter of module four not least because the inquiry can be forewarned of practical issues which the relevant ministries have considered and may or may not have yet resolved in promulgated policy,' the judge said. 'That is not to say, however, that all the ministers who were entitled to participate in module three are in the same position.' He explained that Cameron, Clegg, the vile and odious rascal Hunt and the justice secretary Ken Clarke were all 'highly material' and policy oversight that is relevant to press regulation. Leveson added: 'The secretary of state for business, innovation and skills, the education secretary and the chancellor of the exchequer were properly involved as core participants in module three for different factual reasons; what might be their general interest in the inquiry (even enhanced by their cabinet responsibility for agreeing policy) is, however, not sufficient, in the exercise of my judgment and discretion, to justify granting that status to them for this module. In their cases, the applications are refused.' Leveson said that proposed reforms to press regulations made by witnesses will be placed in the public domain before they are heard at the inquiry, allowing interested parties the chance to comment on them in advance. Other parties granted core participant status for module four of the inquiry are: the Press Standards Board of Finance, the body chaired by Lord Black which funds the Press Complaints Commission, Lord Prescott, Max Mosley, the solicitor Mark Thomson, the Lib Dem and Hacked Off campaigner Dr Evan Harris and the pressure group Media Standards Trust.
Jon Snow, the Channel Four News anchor, has launched a scathing attack on the Daily Scum Mail publisher, Associated Newspapers, claiming it has a 'pernicious' and 'sometimes mendacious' agenda to undermine people in public life. Snow told the Leveson inquiry on Monday afternoon that the publisher of the Daily Scum Mail and Scum Mail on Sunday was 'worse' than News International's titles and had 'an agenda' that undermined politicians and others. 'There is something more insidious about Associated Newspapers and very possibly they will go after me for saying so,' he said. 'I believe they have an agenda for trying to undermine or wreck the careers of individual people in public life and I think that is unhealthy.' Snow added that the private lives of people in public life are 'largely irrelevant' to readers and they should be allowed to 'stand or fall by what they achieve or fail to achieve.' He said: 'If it was found that the Bishop of Canterbury was frequenting Soho that would be of public interest. It goes beyond that – people who have quite modest, perhaps, roles in public life are undermined. It is as I say pernicious and I think at times mendacious.' This is the second time in the inquiry the word 'mendacious' has been used in relationship to Associated Newspapers. Last year the publisher attacked Hugh Grant's evidence as 'mendacious,' infuriating Lord Justice Leveson, who thought its press statement issued immediately after the actor's testimony would discourage others from coming forward to appear before the inquiry. Snow's use of the word is likely to enrage management at Associated but is unlikely to be contested. He prefaced his remarks by recounting the frustrating time he had with the Scum Mail on Sunday over a five-page article it wrote about his private life, which he said the paper later confessed was not true. Later, he said, he had not intended to bring the incident up but it 'burned a hole in my soul.' Snow said the paper's apology after his complaint was 'pathetic,' amounting to just one and a half inches on page two, the so-called graveyard slot in the newspaper. The paper 'right up to publication' fought over whether a passport-sized photo of him would be used or not, he added. Snow told Lord Justice Leveson that editors of newspapers, in the same way as TV news programmes, should be forced to carry apologies of equal prominence to the original offence. 'What is so shameful about being wrong? We are all human beings? Let's admit it. There is nothing exceptional about an editor. Editors are human beings. They can apologise,' he said. He also used his testimony at the Leveson inquiry to criticise the Sun for lampooning the England football manager just because he 'can't roll his Rs.' Snow told Leveson: 'How does that encourage people to make the extra effort to be in public life?' On the separate issue of media proprietors, Snow, one of the country's leading journalists, said he regretted not asking enough questions about secret deals Rupert Murdoch may have cut in Downing Street. 'We were well aware about Rupert Murdoch's movements, either at the back or the front but not always and that should have raised a bit of an alarm bell,' he added. 'We used to laugh up our sleeves and say this is what the Italians did, now we do it. It's amazing.' Also appearing at the inquiry on Monday afternoon, the political editor of the Scum Mail on Sunday, Simon Walters, was not asked about an article he co-wrote claiming that Leveson had phoned the cabinet office threatening to quit over rat-faced loathsome wretched odious nasty slavver-merchant and George Formby lookalike Michael Gove's comments that the inquiry was creating a 'chilling atmosphere' for freedom of expression. The appeal court judge told the inquiry that Walters had been summoned to give evidence in April, well before the article in question was published in June. Walters told the inquiry that he 'had it on good authority' that Rupert Murdoch was given 'privileged information' such as a 'reading on certain issues, for example the Iraq war.'
Meanwhile, David Cameron on Monday launched a scathing attack on what he calls the 'culture of entitlement' in the welfare system, as he warned that claimants with three or more children may start to lose access to benefits, and almost everyone aged under twenty five will lose housing benefit. When a man who went to Eton and Oxford, inherited sixteen million quid from his dad, and owns four houses, talks about poor people's 'sense of entitlement', satire is officially dead, dear blog reader.
The Vatican has hired a FOX News journalist to be its senior communications adviser. Greg Burke, the News Corp channel's Rome correspondent, has covered the Vatican for FOX since 2001. He is a member of the archly conservative Opus Dei movement. He becomes the Vatican's first communications expert hired from outside the insular world of the Roman Catholic news media. He is not replacing the current spokesman, Federico Lombardi, but will advise officials on how to 'shape their message.' God's spin doctor, if you will. Some Vatican observers regard the move as a power play by media-savvy Americans — including Cardinal Timothy Dolan, the archbishop of New York and the president of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops — inside a Vatican hierarchy that is run by Italians. The Vatican is dealing with a growing investigation that has led to the arrest of the Pope Benedict's butler in connection with the leaking of private documents. The Vatican's secretive bank remains embroiled in controversy over whether it can meet international transparency standards. Then there is the ongoing crisis in various countries over sexual abuse by priests. Burke is a numerary in Opus Dei, which means, he said, that he is celibate and gives most of his income to the movement.
Casting has been announced for Endor Productions' television adaptation of William Boyd’s best-seller, Restless, which is due for transmission on BBC1, late in 2012. Hayley Atwell (Any Human Heart), Rufus Sewell (Zen), Michelle Dockery (Downton Abbey), the great Michael Gambon and Charlotte Rampling begin filming the two-part drama this summer in South Africa and the UK. 'William's script is as gripping as his novel. Restless represents an extraordinary expression of what major British Drama can achieve through the medium of television and the unique organisation that is the BBC,' said Restless's director Edward Hall. The drama is produced by EMMY award-winner, Hilary Bevan Jones (State Of Play, Girl In The Cafe). The drama has been ordered by Ben Stephenson and Danny Cohen. The two-part serial is adapted by Boyd from his award-winning novel of the same title. 'To have the chance to film a novel like Restless over three hours is the sort of opportunity that only a television adaptation can provide. It represents the most enticing and alluring of possibilities – not only to tell an enthralling story of wartime espionage, love and betrayal but also to lift the lid on one of the last secrets of the Second World War,' said Boyd.
BBC3 has unveiled a new season of factual documentaries for 2012. The channel says that further commissions follow the success of the channel's award-winning series Our War and Small Teen Big World. The former is returning to the channel. This time the programme makers are taking viewers closer than ever to the defining moments of the Afghanistan war. New series We Call It Home and New Kids on the Block capture life for Britain's young, visiting Britain's estates and following first-time parents. We Call It Home is to look at the story of Britain's estates in six hour long programmes. The show will meet everyday people who capture the truth of life on Britain's estates. Set entirely on a housing estate in North Manchester, the documentary tells the stories of young people growing up at the sharp end of life in Britain in 2012 – in their own words. New Kids on the Block will be broadcast across four programmes following four new sets of parents as they face the most pressurised experience of their lives: the challenge of becoming first-time
Former EastEnders actress Zoe Lucker is to join the cast of BBC1 drama Waterloo Road. The actress will play Carol Barry, a mother of a 'hell-raising family' whose husband is in jail and has left her bringing up children Barry (Carl Au), Dynasty (Abby Wavers) and Kacey (Brogan Ellis). Lucker joins the cast of the popular BBC1 school drama following its relocation to Scotland – it was previously filmed in Rochdale. 'Carol and her kids are going to ruffle plenty of feathers in Waterloo Road – you can't trust them as far as you can throw them! They're a family of great characters – but you just wouldn’t want the Barrys in your neighbourhood!' said Lucker. The role is the actress' first major project since leaving EastEnders last year. Lucker played Vanessa Gold in the BBC soap for just over a year. Prior to that she was perhaps best known as the glamorous, bitchy and witty Tanya Turner in ITV drama Footballers Wives. Lucker also played the character of Tanya in three episodes of fellow ITV drama Bad Girls in a special cross-over storyline.
So, England are out, dear blog reader, you might have noticed. And and is there a turnip head in sight? Not one. Roy Hodgson, it would seem, had managed not to be quite as vilified as Graham Taylor was in 1993. But still, the tabloids had a field day with punning headlines. The Daily Lies goes for Sick Ash a Parrot for its back-page splash and the rather obvious Curse of the Penalty on the front. Don't worry Ashley(s), you'll be doing Pizza Hut adverts before you know it. The Daily Mirra goes for a pun with picture of Wayne Rooney 'hiding his pain' with a Know How Roo Feel front-page splash and Ashes to Ashes back-page splash while The Times gets full marks for originality with a back page splash: Hex Marks The Spot. But as ever, the Sun headline writers kick it into touch with a cheerful Anyone for Tennis? Yes, Wimbledon started on Monday. Oh, effing joy.
A criminal investigation is to be launched into Craig Whyte's takeover of Glasgow Rangers Football Club in May last year. The Crown Office asked Strathclyde Police to probe the purchase and the club's subsequent financial management. The investigation into alleged criminality follows a preliminary examination of information passed to police by administrators. The club was bought by Whyte in 2011 before going into administration in February this year. A Crown Office spokesman said: 'The procurator fiscal for the west of Scotland will now work with Strathclyde Police to fully investigate the acquisition and financial management of Rangers Football Club and any related reports of alleged criminality during that process.' Whyte bought Rangers from former owner Sir David Murray in May 2011 for one pound, taking over his controlling eighty five per cent share holding. The club then entered administration on 14 February over alleged non-payment of nine million smackers in PAYE and VAT taxes. It emerged that Whyte was able to fund his takeover by selling future season tickets to Ticketus, leaving the investment firm a key player as administrators Duff and Phelps searched for new owners. Duff And Phelps, nominated by Whyte, have since negotiated a sale of the club's assets to a consortium led by Charles Green for five and a half million wonga after creditors rejected an agreement which would have seen Rangers repay pennies in the pound for estimated debts of about one hundred and thirty five million quid. Rangers is now set to be wound up by HMRC's preferred liquidators BDO. Meanwhile, a newco Rangers is set to have its application to become an SPL club rejected, after Aberdeen joined Inverness, Hibernian, Hearts and Dundee United in indicating that they would refuse to back the move. The application is to be voted on on 4 July and requires an eight to four majority. During his time in control of the club it emerged Whyte had been disqualified as a company director for a period of seven years prior to his involvement with Rangers. Whyte was also later hit with a lifetime ban from Scottish football by the Scottish Football Association and fined two hundred grand for bringing the game into disrepute.
Which brings us to today's Keith Telly Topping's 45 of the Day. This one's, obviously, for Jimmy Carr and David Cameron. There's really only one way to sort it out, you men. Fight.
England's somewhat inevitable soul-crushing Euro 2012 exit - on penalties - was watched by a peak audience of over twenty three million punters on Sunday, overnight data has revealed. Roy Hodgson's side lost 4-2 on penalties to Italy after the game finished 0-0, following ninety minutes and extra time. The audience figures peaked at over 23.2m (an astonishing seventy seven per cent audience share) for the spot kicks, which ended in heartbreak for English fans after Ashley Young and Ashley Cole failed to convert. (One would, genuinely, love to know what the other twenty three per cent were watching. Yer actual Keith Telly Topping, incidentally, chose to record BBC's production of Julius Caesar and watch it after the match had finished!) The game itself averaged 20.3m (a sixty eight per cent share) between its 7.45pm kick-off and the end of the shoot-out at 10.20pm. The BBC's whole coverage of the event including pre and post match punditry from the Gary Lineker-anchored BBC team averaged 17.4m. Odious, full-of-his-own-importance TV critic Ian Hyland immediately took to Twitter about the huge ratings on Monday morning: 'Twenty three million watched England go out on penalties last night. That's one of the highest ever TV audiences for a repeat.' Fun-nee. Did you think that one up all on your own, mate, or did you have help? Ratings were increased considerably from England's first-round matches against Ukraine, France and Sweden, which reached averages of 16.1m, 12.3m and 14.1m viewers respectively. Sunday night's viewing figures topped last year's royal wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton, which peaked at 19.27m for BBC. However, the royal occasion was watched by a higher number of viewers overall (26.1m) across all channels. England's defeat means that the semi-finals on Wednesday and Thursday will now feature Spain versus Portugal and Germany versus Italy.
And, still on the subject of rating,s here's the Top Twenty programmes week-ending 17 June 2012:
1 Euro 2012: Sweden versus England - BBC1 Fri - 14.25m
2 Euro 2012: France versus England - ITV Mon - 12.55m
3 Coronation Street - ITV Mon - 8.71m
4 Euro 2012: Netherlands versus Germany - BBC1 Wed - 8.53m
5 Euro 2012: Portugal versus Netherlands - ITV Sun - 8.26m
6 Euro 2012: Spain versus Ireland - ITV Thurs - 7.65m
7 EastEnders - BBC1 Thurs - 7.35m
8 Euro 2012: Poland versus Russia - ITV Tues - 6.78m
9 Ten O'Clock News - BBC1 Fri - 6.68m
10 Euro 2012: Czech Republic versus Poland - BBC1 Sat - 6.40m
11 Euro 2012: Ukraine versus Sweden - BBC1 Thurs - 6.28m
12 Six O'Clock News - BBC1 Thurs - 5.52m
13 Emmerdale - ITV Thurs - 5.38m*
14 BBC News - BBC1 Sun - 5.35m
15 Silk - BBC1 Tues - 5.33m
16 Antiques Roadshow - BBC1 Sun - 5.13m
17 Countryfile - BBC1 Sun - 5.08m
18 Euro 2012: Italy versus Croatia - BBC1 Thurs - 4.97m
19 The ONE Show - BBC1 Tues - 4.55m
20 Holby City - BBC1 Tues - 4.46m
Those programmes marked '*' do not including HD ratings figures. Euro 2012 pre- and post-match coverage is excluded, these are the match ratings only. BBC2's highest rated shows were: Trooping The Colour Highlights (2.59m), Mock The Week (2.5m) and Springwatch (2.35m).
The BBC's coverage of the Arab Spring was generally impartial but could have benefited from greater breadth and context, according to the BBC Trust. It said the BBC should have done more to authenticate user-generated content, such as mobile phone footage taken by activists or bystanders. The Trust praised 'the considerable courage of journalists and technicians on the ground to bring stories to air.' Its report described the BBC's overall coverage as 'remarkable.' Yet the report also said there could have been more extensive follow-up of stories in some countries, a fuller examination of the different voices of opposition, and a broader range of international reaction to the events. The review was led by Edward Mortimer, a Middle East expert and former United Nations director of communications. He praised the coverage of the eighteen days of protests in Egypt leading to the fall of President Mubarak, the maintenance of a BBC presence on both sides of the conflict in Libya, and the coverage of the uprising in Tunisia. But he expressed some concern at the drop in the BBC's coverage of Egypt after President Mubarak's fall, and the delay in covering human rights abuses by rebel forces in Libya. He also questioned the lack of coverage of Saudi Arabia, and the lack of a clear policy about the use of the word 'regime' to describe governments that faced uprisings. Mortimer wrote that he was particularly impressed by 'the skill and care the BBC applies to checking user-generated content' but said that audiences should be given more information about this. Analysis by Loughborough University found that in seventy four per cent of UGC cases studied, the BBC failed to offer 'caveats about authenticity or representativeness.' The Trust said it commissioned the review not because it felt the BBC's coverage of the Arab Spring was deficient, but rather because it showed 'the importance and complexities of a group of fast-moving stories which are often extremely dangerous to cover on the ground.' The BBC said it was pleased to see the report's broad support for its coverage as a whole and the overall recognition of much 'outstanding and remarkable' journalism. At the same time, it continued, 'we also had to make sure we were covering major stories happening simultaneously elsewhere.'
Meanwhile, the BBC has promised to review the workload of its Middle East editor, Jeremy Bowen, following the BBC Trust report urging that he be encouraged to 'travel a little less.' Bowen, who has been in the post for seven years, is taking too many foreign trips and needs to be centrally located where he can lend his expertise to the BBC's strategic thinking about its coverage of the region. Mortimer's report noted that in 2010 alone Bowen visited Yemen twice, Egypt twice, Washington twice, Syria once, Israel and the Palestinian territories at least four times, Lebanon once, Geneva once, as well as interviewing the Lebanese prime minister in London. Bowen was given the post seven years ago in order to loan 'more consistency' to the BBC's coverage of the region, but his tenure has not been without incident. In 2009 the BBC Trust ruled that he was guilty of 'inaccuracies' in two stories, a January 2008 report for Radio 4's From Our Own Correspondent describing the history of the Israeli settlement Har Homa, near Jerusalem, in the 1960s, and a 2007 BBC website story, How 1967 defined the Middle East, about the legacy of the Six Day Arab-Israeli war. Bowen later attacked the ruling when accepting the British Journalism Review's Charles Wheeler award for an outstanding contribution to broadcast journalism. 'As Middle East editor for the BBC, I'm under pressure from lobbyists,' he said. 'I am recognised by my peers as also being able to stick to my guns.'
Several days overdue frankly, Jimmy Carr has finally had a go back at David Cameron for the prime minister's criticism of the comedian, telling an audience: 'What sort of fucking cunt would leave a kid in the pub?' Good question. The prime minister caused controversy by criticising Carr when it was revealed that Carr had been - legally - avoiding tax by paying £3.3m a year into offshore shelter. According to the Daily Scum Mail, despite issuing a full, unqualified apology earlier in the week, the thirty nine-year-old Carr is 'furious' at being singled out by Cameron after the PM had previously refused to criticise several Tory party donors - including Take That's Gary Barlow - for entering into similar schemes. At a stand-up gig in Stockport on Friday, Carr said of Cameron: 'He's a very bad man. What have I ever said about him? Literally fucking thousands of things.' He also derided Cameron for taking time out from high-level international politics to comment on Carr's tax affairs, saying: 'You know you're a dick when the prime minister breaks off from the G20 summit. He's having a meeting with Obama, [and] says, "Excuse me, Obama, there's something I need to deal with, Jimmy Carr's a fucking dick."' The comments appeared to be well-received by the crowd, although the star of Ten O'Clock Live still received a number of mostly good-natured heckles throughout the show, which he said he had been 'expecting' and which were 'fairly valid.' When Carr asked an audience member why he was twenty minutes late, the man replied, 'Sorry, I've been doing my tax returns,' which was met with laughter and applause from both Carr and the crowd. Cameron also faced criticism from within his own party for leaving politicians vulnerable to probes over their own financial affairs after he waded into Carr's tax row. Backbench Tory MP Mark Field said: 'The press will now feel it is fair game to expose and weigh up the morality of tax arrangements of Tory donors, high-profile Tory supporters and Tory MPs.' Fellow Conservative MP David Ruffley hit out at the PM, saying: 'Moral prescriptions are best left to priests and philosophers.' And Charlie Brooker, a co-star of Carr's on Channel Four satirical show Ten O'Clock Live, also launched a scathing attack on the PM for 'machine-gunning himself in the foot.' He said: 'It's interesting to see David Cameron condemn [Carr] as "morally wrong." He seems to have volunteered himself as the arbiter of moral judgment for the nation. Has he worked out yet whether Gary Barlow is morally wrong or not? Jimmy has definitely been made a scapegoat. And I don't see how Cameron can back pedal from that.' The former Lib Dem Treasury spokesman Lord Oakeshott, meanwhile, had told the Observer: 'If only Jimmy Carr had given fifty pounds to the Tories, Cameron would have had to pull his condemnation.' A spokesman for Cameron denied the prime minister had singled out Carr, saying his attack was on the comic's use of a particular tax avoidance scheme, known as K2, rather than the man himself. One or two people even believed him.
Lord Justice Leveson says he contacted Downing Street because he was 'concerned' about 'the perception' that his inquiry into press standards was 'being undermined.' The judge said he had asked the cabinet secretary if the government had already reached 'a settled view' on future regulation, but was assured that it had not. His phone call came after rat-faced loathsome wretched odious nasty slavver-merchant and George Formby lookalike Michael Gove said he feared the inquiry was having 'a chilling atmosphere' on free speech. The judge told his inquiry he had no 'hidden agenda' to stifle a free press. Lord Justice Leveson's statement followed claims published by the Scum Mail on Sunday that he had threatened to quit over the issue. The newspaper claimed - wrongly - that he made his threat following comments by rat-faced loathsome wretched odious nasty slavver-merchant and George Formby lookalike Gove to a press gallery lunch in February that there was 'a chilling atmosphere towards freedom of expression which emanates from the debate around Leveson.' Lord Justice Leveson confirmed that he had contacted Cabinet Secretary Sir Jeremy Heywood about rat-faced loathsome wretched odious nasty slavver-merchant and George Formby lookalike Gove's comments, and Cameron's subsequent statement at Prime Minister's Questions that his education secretary was 'making an important point.' The judge told the inquiry he had felt it 'necessary and appropriate' to raise the issue with Sir Jeremy. 'From my perspective, the issue was straightforward. Had the government reached a settled view along the lines that Mr Gove had identified, it would clearly have raised questions about the value of the work that the inquiry was undertaking at substantial cost,' he said. 'I recognised that the prime minister had said that it was right to set up the inquiry but I wanted to find out whether Mr Gove was speaking for the government, whether it was thought that the very existence of the inquiry was having a chilling effect on healthy, vibrant journalism, and whether the government had effectively a settled view on any potential recommendations. Put shortly, I was concerned about the perception that the inquiry was being undermined while it was taking place.' He said Sir Jeremy assured him that 'no fixed view had been formed and it was wrong to infer from the prime minister's observations any concerns or collective view.' Lord Justice Leveson told the inquiry he had considered convening a special session to deal with the Scum Mail on Sunday article, but decided against it on grounds of cost. He said he acknowledged there were concerns within the media about the impact of the inquiry, but insisted that he was 'fully committed' to press freedom. 'I also understand that, on every day of the inquiry, every exchange I have with a witness will be analysed in order to reveal a hidden agenda. There is none,' he said. 'No recommendations have been formulated or written. No conclusions have yet been reached.'
Rich posh boy George Osborne and rat-faced loathsome wretched odious nasty slavver-merchant and George Formby lookalike Michael Gove have been refused privileged access to key evidence on the future of press regulation after Lord Justice Leveson rejected their applications for core participant status to the next stage of his inquiry. The chancellor and education secretary, as well as the business secretary Vince Cable, had their applications for core participant status turned down in a ruling published on the inquiry website on Monday. Leveson said the ministers' 'general interest in the inquiry' was not sufficient to grant them special access to key documents. This ruling came as core participant status was given to several victims of press intrusion, including Gerry McCann, the father of Madeleine, Bob Dowler, the father of Milly Dowler, and the actor Hugh Grant. Prime minister David Cameron, deputy prime minister Nick Clegg and the lack culture secretary the vile and odious rascal Hunt have also been granted core participant status for the inquiry's fourth and final stage. The next module of the inquiry is focused on the future of press regulation. Unlike previous modules, the inquiry will publish proposals submitted by witnesses before they give evidence. Core participants will still be given advance sight of evidence to the inquiry – including detailed proposals put forward by other parties – and make representations on them. This phase of the inquiry is due to begin in the second week of July. Unlike normal witnesses, core participants are able to ask questions of other witnesses and propose redactions and corrections to sensitive written evidence submissions. Cameron and seven other cabinet ministers were given the status for the previous module of the inquiry – into relations between politicians and the press – but Leveson said that alone did not mean their core participant status should be automatically extended. Plus, it gave him a really good opportunity to, for the second time in a day, slap down rat-faced loathsome wretched odious nasty slavver-merchant and George Formby lookalike Gove like a bee-atch. Which was funny. 'I see real advantage in whatever assistance can be provided by those with responsibility for policy in the areas that are the subject matter of module four not least because the inquiry can be forewarned of practical issues which the relevant ministries have considered and may or may not have yet resolved in promulgated policy,' the judge said. 'That is not to say, however, that all the ministers who were entitled to participate in module three are in the same position.' He explained that Cameron, Clegg, the vile and odious rascal Hunt and the justice secretary Ken Clarke were all 'highly material' and policy oversight that is relevant to press regulation. Leveson added: 'The secretary of state for business, innovation and skills, the education secretary and the chancellor of the exchequer were properly involved as core participants in module three for different factual reasons; what might be their general interest in the inquiry (even enhanced by their cabinet responsibility for agreeing policy) is, however, not sufficient, in the exercise of my judgment and discretion, to justify granting that status to them for this module. In their cases, the applications are refused.' Leveson said that proposed reforms to press regulations made by witnesses will be placed in the public domain before they are heard at the inquiry, allowing interested parties the chance to comment on them in advance. Other parties granted core participant status for module four of the inquiry are: the Press Standards Board of Finance, the body chaired by Lord Black which funds the Press Complaints Commission, Lord Prescott, Max Mosley, the solicitor Mark Thomson, the Lib Dem and Hacked Off campaigner Dr Evan Harris and the pressure group Media Standards Trust.
Jon Snow, the Channel Four News anchor, has launched a scathing attack on the Daily Scum Mail publisher, Associated Newspapers, claiming it has a 'pernicious' and 'sometimes mendacious' agenda to undermine people in public life. Snow told the Leveson inquiry on Monday afternoon that the publisher of the Daily Scum Mail and Scum Mail on Sunday was 'worse' than News International's titles and had 'an agenda' that undermined politicians and others. 'There is something more insidious about Associated Newspapers and very possibly they will go after me for saying so,' he said. 'I believe they have an agenda for trying to undermine or wreck the careers of individual people in public life and I think that is unhealthy.' Snow added that the private lives of people in public life are 'largely irrelevant' to readers and they should be allowed to 'stand or fall by what they achieve or fail to achieve.' He said: 'If it was found that the Bishop of Canterbury was frequenting Soho that would be of public interest. It goes beyond that – people who have quite modest, perhaps, roles in public life are undermined. It is as I say pernicious and I think at times mendacious.' This is the second time in the inquiry the word 'mendacious' has been used in relationship to Associated Newspapers. Last year the publisher attacked Hugh Grant's evidence as 'mendacious,' infuriating Lord Justice Leveson, who thought its press statement issued immediately after the actor's testimony would discourage others from coming forward to appear before the inquiry. Snow's use of the word is likely to enrage management at Associated but is unlikely to be contested. He prefaced his remarks by recounting the frustrating time he had with the Scum Mail on Sunday over a five-page article it wrote about his private life, which he said the paper later confessed was not true. Later, he said, he had not intended to bring the incident up but it 'burned a hole in my soul.' Snow said the paper's apology after his complaint was 'pathetic,' amounting to just one and a half inches on page two, the so-called graveyard slot in the newspaper. The paper 'right up to publication' fought over whether a passport-sized photo of him would be used or not, he added. Snow told Lord Justice Leveson that editors of newspapers, in the same way as TV news programmes, should be forced to carry apologies of equal prominence to the original offence. 'What is so shameful about being wrong? We are all human beings? Let's admit it. There is nothing exceptional about an editor. Editors are human beings. They can apologise,' he said. He also used his testimony at the Leveson inquiry to criticise the Sun for lampooning the England football manager just because he 'can't roll his Rs.' Snow told Leveson: 'How does that encourage people to make the extra effort to be in public life?' On the separate issue of media proprietors, Snow, one of the country's leading journalists, said he regretted not asking enough questions about secret deals Rupert Murdoch may have cut in Downing Street. 'We were well aware about Rupert Murdoch's movements, either at the back or the front but not always and that should have raised a bit of an alarm bell,' he added. 'We used to laugh up our sleeves and say this is what the Italians did, now we do it. It's amazing.' Also appearing at the inquiry on Monday afternoon, the political editor of the Scum Mail on Sunday, Simon Walters, was not asked about an article he co-wrote claiming that Leveson had phoned the cabinet office threatening to quit over rat-faced loathsome wretched odious nasty slavver-merchant and George Formby lookalike Michael Gove's comments that the inquiry was creating a 'chilling atmosphere' for freedom of expression. The appeal court judge told the inquiry that Walters had been summoned to give evidence in April, well before the article in question was published in June. Walters told the inquiry that he 'had it on good authority' that Rupert Murdoch was given 'privileged information' such as a 'reading on certain issues, for example the Iraq war.'
Meanwhile, David Cameron on Monday launched a scathing attack on what he calls the 'culture of entitlement' in the welfare system, as he warned that claimants with three or more children may start to lose access to benefits, and almost everyone aged under twenty five will lose housing benefit. When a man who went to Eton and Oxford, inherited sixteen million quid from his dad, and owns four houses, talks about poor people's 'sense of entitlement', satire is officially dead, dear blog reader.
The Vatican has hired a FOX News journalist to be its senior communications adviser. Greg Burke, the News Corp channel's Rome correspondent, has covered the Vatican for FOX since 2001. He is a member of the archly conservative Opus Dei movement. He becomes the Vatican's first communications expert hired from outside the insular world of the Roman Catholic news media. He is not replacing the current spokesman, Federico Lombardi, but will advise officials on how to 'shape their message.' God's spin doctor, if you will. Some Vatican observers regard the move as a power play by media-savvy Americans — including Cardinal Timothy Dolan, the archbishop of New York and the president of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops — inside a Vatican hierarchy that is run by Italians. The Vatican is dealing with a growing investigation that has led to the arrest of the Pope Benedict's butler in connection with the leaking of private documents. The Vatican's secretive bank remains embroiled in controversy over whether it can meet international transparency standards. Then there is the ongoing crisis in various countries over sexual abuse by priests. Burke is a numerary in Opus Dei, which means, he said, that he is celibate and gives most of his income to the movement.
Casting has been announced for Endor Productions' television adaptation of William Boyd’s best-seller, Restless, which is due for transmission on BBC1, late in 2012. Hayley Atwell (Any Human Heart), Rufus Sewell (Zen), Michelle Dockery (Downton Abbey), the great Michael Gambon and Charlotte Rampling begin filming the two-part drama this summer in South Africa and the UK. 'William's script is as gripping as his novel. Restless represents an extraordinary expression of what major British Drama can achieve through the medium of television and the unique organisation that is the BBC,' said Restless's director Edward Hall. The drama is produced by EMMY award-winner, Hilary Bevan Jones (State Of Play, Girl In The Cafe). The drama has been ordered by Ben Stephenson and Danny Cohen. The two-part serial is adapted by Boyd from his award-winning novel of the same title. 'To have the chance to film a novel like Restless over three hours is the sort of opportunity that only a television adaptation can provide. It represents the most enticing and alluring of possibilities – not only to tell an enthralling story of wartime espionage, love and betrayal but also to lift the lid on one of the last secrets of the Second World War,' said Boyd.
BBC3 has unveiled a new season of factual documentaries for 2012. The channel says that further commissions follow the success of the channel's award-winning series Our War and Small Teen Big World. The former is returning to the channel. This time the programme makers are taking viewers closer than ever to the defining moments of the Afghanistan war. New series We Call It Home and New Kids on the Block capture life for Britain's young, visiting Britain's estates and following first-time parents. We Call It Home is to look at the story of Britain's estates in six hour long programmes. The show will meet everyday people who capture the truth of life on Britain's estates. Set entirely on a housing estate in North Manchester, the documentary tells the stories of young people growing up at the sharp end of life in Britain in 2012 – in their own words. New Kids on the Block will be broadcast across four programmes following four new sets of parents as they face the most pressurised experience of their lives: the challenge of becoming first-time
Former EastEnders actress Zoe Lucker is to join the cast of BBC1 drama Waterloo Road. The actress will play Carol Barry, a mother of a 'hell-raising family' whose husband is in jail and has left her bringing up children Barry (Carl Au), Dynasty (Abby Wavers) and Kacey (Brogan Ellis). Lucker joins the cast of the popular BBC1 school drama following its relocation to Scotland – it was previously filmed in Rochdale. 'Carol and her kids are going to ruffle plenty of feathers in Waterloo Road – you can't trust them as far as you can throw them! They're a family of great characters – but you just wouldn’t want the Barrys in your neighbourhood!' said Lucker. The role is the actress' first major project since leaving EastEnders last year. Lucker played Vanessa Gold in the BBC soap for just over a year. Prior to that she was perhaps best known as the glamorous, bitchy and witty Tanya Turner in ITV drama Footballers Wives. Lucker also played the character of Tanya in three episodes of fellow ITV drama Bad Girls in a special cross-over storyline.
So, England are out, dear blog reader, you might have noticed. And and is there a turnip head in sight? Not one. Roy Hodgson, it would seem, had managed not to be quite as vilified as Graham Taylor was in 1993. But still, the tabloids had a field day with punning headlines. The Daily Lies goes for Sick Ash a Parrot for its back-page splash and the rather obvious Curse of the Penalty on the front. Don't worry Ashley(s), you'll be doing Pizza Hut adverts before you know it. The Daily Mirra goes for a pun with picture of Wayne Rooney 'hiding his pain' with a Know How Roo Feel front-page splash and Ashes to Ashes back-page splash while The Times gets full marks for originality with a back page splash: Hex Marks The Spot. But as ever, the Sun headline writers kick it into touch with a cheerful Anyone for Tennis? Yes, Wimbledon started on Monday. Oh, effing joy.
A criminal investigation is to be launched into Craig Whyte's takeover of Glasgow Rangers Football Club in May last year. The Crown Office asked Strathclyde Police to probe the purchase and the club's subsequent financial management. The investigation into alleged criminality follows a preliminary examination of information passed to police by administrators. The club was bought by Whyte in 2011 before going into administration in February this year. A Crown Office spokesman said: 'The procurator fiscal for the west of Scotland will now work with Strathclyde Police to fully investigate the acquisition and financial management of Rangers Football Club and any related reports of alleged criminality during that process.' Whyte bought Rangers from former owner Sir David Murray in May 2011 for one pound, taking over his controlling eighty five per cent share holding. The club then entered administration on 14 February over alleged non-payment of nine million smackers in PAYE and VAT taxes. It emerged that Whyte was able to fund his takeover by selling future season tickets to Ticketus, leaving the investment firm a key player as administrators Duff and Phelps searched for new owners. Duff And Phelps, nominated by Whyte, have since negotiated a sale of the club's assets to a consortium led by Charles Green for five and a half million wonga after creditors rejected an agreement which would have seen Rangers repay pennies in the pound for estimated debts of about one hundred and thirty five million quid. Rangers is now set to be wound up by HMRC's preferred liquidators BDO. Meanwhile, a newco Rangers is set to have its application to become an SPL club rejected, after Aberdeen joined Inverness, Hibernian, Hearts and Dundee United in indicating that they would refuse to back the move. The application is to be voted on on 4 July and requires an eight to four majority. During his time in control of the club it emerged Whyte had been disqualified as a company director for a period of seven years prior to his involvement with Rangers. Whyte was also later hit with a lifetime ban from Scottish football by the Scottish Football Association and fined two hundred grand for bringing the game into disrepute.
Which brings us to today's Keith Telly Topping's 45 of the Day. This one's, obviously, for Jimmy Carr and David Cameron. There's really only one way to sort it out, you men. Fight.