Infinite Recognition

Hope you spotted yer Keith Telly Topping's sometime-writing partner - and chum - Alfie Joey on Saturday night's Doctor Who Confidential introducing Matt Smith and Karen Gillen at the Sunderland University event, dear blog reader. That was, it must be said, a particularly horrible jacket you were wearing there, Alfster, me auld China. Still, never mind, it was only being seen by a million rabid Doctor Who fans none of whom have any concept of taste. I mean, look at me, just to take one example. Incidentally, chatting to the same individual yesterday at his palatial Gatesheed gaff, it was nice to discover that he, like myself, is considerably irked by the most utterly pointless bit of TV sponsorship in the history of creation - Sky News getting Qatar Airlines to sponsor their pollen count information at the end of the weather. Especially, given that it actually takes longer to play than sponsors' advert and logo than it does to read the damned pollen count itself. ('Today pollen count is ... four.') Money, honey.

Coronation Street's Samia Smith has admitted that reports suggesting she had been 'axed' were 'upsetting.' The actress, who plays Maria Connor, took maternity leave from the show last year and returns this week for so-called Siege Week. She told the Daily Star: 'If anyone read that they were going to be axed they'd find it upsetting. Being off on maternity leave made it even worse, as I was completely out of the loop. I put a call in to work and asked what was going on and they reassured me that the rumours were not true. Whenever a new producer [Phil Collinson] comes in, my name always seems to be on the list of possible characters that is going to be axed. It's really quite upsetting.' The star continued: 'I was gearing myself up to return for the special episodes and suddenly it was like my whole world was collapsing. It really stressed me out. I was always going to return after having Freya and had organised for Matthew's mum to look after her while I worked. Fortunately, the rumours about me weren't true.' Is it worth, I wonder, reflecting at this point that most people in life have a sense of priorities and tend to get 'upset' at stuff that's actually important, not whether their character in a soap opera has been moved on to the great Rovers Return in the sky? Pampered, self-absorbed bloody actors, eh? Self, self, self, self, self.

Jack P Shepherd, meanwhile, has hinted that his on-screen mother, Gail, will escape prison on Corrie. Speaking to TV Times, the twenty two-year-old actor - who plays the rebellious David Platt in the soap - said that his alter-ego is perhaps rightly optimistic about the outcome of this week's trial. He said: 'It doesn't enter his mind for a minute that Gail's going down. Nick and Audrey are umming and aahing, but David's pretty positive and is like, "This is going to be alright."'

Alesha Dixon has confirmed that she will be appearing on Strictly Come Dancing this year. The thirty one-year-old singer, who won the celebrity talent show in 2007, replaced Arlene Phillips on the judging panel last year. She told the Sun: 'There were split seconds where I thought I wouldn't go back but I don't believe in giving up, that's not in my personality or character. If I set myself a challenge I like to complete it. I wouldn't have taken the job if I didn't feel I could.' Dixon added: 'I rode the storm and everyone on set made me feel so welcome because I knew them from competing. When I was a contestant it was ten hours a day, every day for four months. As judge I sat there and got to watch some great dancing. The pressure of having to dance live was tough.'

This year's Eurovision Song Contest was seen by just 5.54m in Britain on Saturday night, early viewing figures indicate. Broadcasting from 8pm, ratings for the three-hour contest - which saw the UK's entry finish last - plunged to an all-time low, a staggering two million plus fall year-on-year from 2009.

Meanwhile, Josh Dubovie has remained upbeat despite his crushing, humiliating, embarrassing defeat at this year's Eurovision Song Contest. The UK representative's hideous, wretched and appalling song, the crassly mis-titled 'That Sounds Good to Me', finished last during Saturday's ceremony. Right at the bottom of the pile. Wooden spoon time. Absolute relegation. If Josh were a football team, he'd be Darlington. (You can put your hands up if you're getting bored with this, dear blog reader.) Golden turkey award. The snake's belly. The underside of the scrum. (It's okay, you can all put your hands down now, thanks.) However, Dubrovie had insisted to the press that he 'will keep performing' in the future. Don't do it on our accounts, Josh, we're all quite happy to let your record stand, alone. As long as it's well away from our hearing.

Here's a nice bit of banal celebrity tittle-tattler that's currently doing the rounds. The Footballers' Wives actress Susie Amy has been 'blamed' for being the reason behind Charlotte Church and Gavin Henson's split up. Not by Church herself, of course. According to newspaper talk, Church reportedly left Gavin Henson due to the twenty nine-year-old actress's 'close' relationship with the rugby union player. 'Charlotte thought Gavin and Susie had become close,' a 'source' told the Sun. 'She wanted him at home with her while she launched her TV comeback on Over The Rainbow - and him being away put a strain on their relationship.' However, a spokesman for Ms Amy yesterday dismissed the rumours: 'She has a boyfriend and is very happy,' the source said. That's the other source, not the first source, who said the stuff about, you know, whatever it was that ... sorry, what was the question again?

In some excellent news, Crazy-Mad Grant Morrison has revealed more details about his television project for BBC Scotland. The acclaimed comics author is said to be working with director Paul McGuigan (Push) and Stephen Fry on the unnamed show based on Scottish folklore. 'It's not so much a fable,' Morrison told MTV News. 'It's a bit of everything. They called me up and said they wanted to do a seven-part event, a TV drama, and BBC Scotland was really interested in doing something big. They asked for something that wasn't Trainspotting and wasn't Brigadoon. They said, "We don't want to see junkies and we don't want to see chocolate-box Scotland." So obviously I instantly thought, "What about Trainspotting meets Brigadoon?" Out of it came this really epic, science-fiction idea, but it doesn't involve any special effects at all. It's a little bit based in local folklore.' The project is currently in its early stages of development but is has been confirmed that it will be filmed in Scotland.

Britain's Got Talent's Josh Barry has reportedly set his sights on 'becoming a millionaire before he turns twenty.' So, expect to see him stacking the shelves at Morrison's in about eighteen months time, then.

And finally for today, dear blog reader, you may remember a few weeks ago when we mentioned in passing that fat bloke in a white polonecked sweater who seems to hang around parliament square every time Laura Kuenssberg (and, no, I still don't know her age, dear Goggle reader) is doing a report on BBC News. As noted, he seems to be developing quite a following - particularly at Russell Howard's Good News Week where they gave him his own segment. Well, the eagle-eyed ladies and chaps who contribute to the Fat-Bloke-Watch thread on Gallifrey Base had brought forth a number of other confirmed sightings. There's even video footage of him on You Tube. Have you seen this man? If so, let us at From The North know. Because, we've got nothing better to do with our time, frankly. A bit like that fat bloke in a white polonecked sweater, it would seem.Love the shopping trolley, by the way. We are the blog that brings you the stuff that no other blogs would want to. Have a nice day.