Thursday, October 08, 2009

Words You Can't SAY On The BBC. Or DO In Saudi Arabia

Righto, me bonny lads and lasses of the blog. Here is the latest batch of yer actual Top Telly News: And, we start with the announcement that Blue Peter has launched a competition to design a new TARDIS console that will appear in the next series of Doctor Who. Children aged between six and twelve are invited to create the new control panel which operates the time machine. For the purposes of the plot, designs for the hexagonal central console must incorporate various household objects. The winning design, to be chosen by new Doctor Matt Smith, will appear in one episode of the popular SF show next year. Entries will be judged in three different age categories, with the winner of each age group getting to visit the Doctor Who set. And to meet the cast and crew, including the Doctor. Meanwhile, in somewhat related Doctor Who news, filming continues apace on the next series with the divine Karen Gillen being snapped on this week's exterior location, seemingly, mid-audition for The Bill. Mmm... the long legs of the law. Lovely. She can arrest Keith Telly Topping any time she blooming-well likes.

Stargate Universe made a strong start for Sky1 on Tuesday evening, according to initial overnight viewing figures. The two-hour premiere, which starred Robert Carlyle, averaged a more-than-respectable eight hundred and sixty five thousand viewers across the two hours between 8pm and 10pm, making it the most-watched show on the multichannel stations. Later, at 10pm, two hundred and sixty five thousand of those viewers stayed with Sky for the behind the scenes documentary Stargate Universe: Access All Areas. Elsewhere, the Maxine Peake-fronted Criminal Justice improved on Monday night's opening episode, with 4.67m viewers for BBC1 at 9pm and easily winning the hour. Its nearest rival, ITV's The Fixer, drew a mere 2.82m. The show's ratings have been very disappointing all series and it would not surprise Keith Telly Topping in the least if ITV failed to recommission the espionage drama. The final instalment of Jamie's American Roadtrip featuring that smarmy and wretched Oliver fellow brought in 2.46m for Channel 4, whilst 2.35m tuned into BBC2's Blitz: The Bombing Of Coventry and CSI: Miami averaged just over two million viewers on Five. Holby City led the 8pm hour, bringing in 5.69m for BBC1. ITV's Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? was its closest competitor, averaging 3.42m, but only narrowly beating the latest episode of BBC2's MasterChef: The Professionals (3.05m). Overall, BBC1 utterly dominated prime-time with an average share of 24.2 per cent compared with ITV's 15.4 per cent.

The BBC Trust unveiled revised editorial guidelines on Wednesday designed to help it avoid high-profile breaches of standards such as the Queengate and Sachsgate controversies. The wide-ranging guidelines outline the BBC's 'values and standards' and cover all areas of broadcasting from 'phone-in and text votes' to 'political controversy' and 'offence.' For the first time, the BBC will be allowing the public to have their say about how it makes and monitors its programmes with a twelve-week public consultation. The current two hundred-page document was introduced in June 2005 and - as director-general Mark Thompson admitted - included 'the lessons learned from one of the BBC's biggest editorial crises, the Andrew Gilligan and David Kelly affair.' The guidelines are traditionally revised every five years and are based on real cases encountered by producers working on BBC shows. The new rules contain up-to-date advice on dealing with new technology and high-profile breaches of editorial standards, such as voting, compliance and fakery. The BBC Trust has also pledged to introduce tougher guidelines on the use of certain swear words and the depiction of violence in the broadcaster's radio, TV and online content. Any shows using the three strongest profane words (yes, you know the ones they mean) will have to get approval from an output controller after justifying the editorial validity. Which Keith Telly Topping doesn't, necessarily, have much of a problem with. Except when it comes to comedy where strong language is often justifiable on the grounds of artistic expression whatever crass nobodies like the Daily Mail and all of their scummy ilk may have to say on the subject. In its report, the Trust said: 'The research found that people accept that strong language can be appropriate within a programme but dislike it when used unnecessarily or excessively. Output controllers and programme or content producers should ensure that strong language, especially the strongest language, is subject to careful consideration and appropriate referral, to ensure it is editorially justified, before it is included in our output.' So, that's a 'watch this space ... and wonder if the next series of Qi or Mock The Week will be bowelderised beyond recognition' scenario, then? Terrific. The guidelines also stipulate that greater care must be taken to signpost the usage of strong language in post-watershed programming so that viewers are properly warned. It also suggested greater bleeping of swear words, even after the watershed. 'When a section of content is editorially justified but the slot, channel or context are not appropriate for strong language, it may be necessary to edit or bleep language, even post-watershed,' the Trust continued. Watch this space indeed.

Stonewall chief executive Ben Summerskill cancelled a scheduled appearance as star speaker at last night's Conservative Party event in Manchester's gay village in protest at the presence of extremist homophobic MEPs at the Conservative conference. Representatives of the Polish Law and Justice Party have been welcomed at the Conservative Party conference, held this week in Manchester. The Polish Law and Justice Party believes that gay people are perverts and that homosexuality is a pathology responsible for the downfall of civilisation. An open letter to the Conservatives condemning the decision to support The Polish Law and Justice Party has been signed by over twenty celebrities, including Eddie Izzard, Stephen Fry, Patrick Stewart and Tony Robinson. In an interview on Channel 4 news, Stephen Fry said he believed that the Conservatives had taken a step back by aligning themselves with the homophobic Polish party. 'It upset me to see the Tories for strategic reasons sitting with an unpleasantly homophobic nationalistic party in Poland and sharing their whip in Europe,' said Fry. 'While it may not seem important as to whom they sit with, to me it just struck a very sour note. I just thought it would be very good during the conference to give David Cameron and the Tories an opportunity to disassociate themselves from that kind of Twentieth Century - or, frankly, Nineteenth Century - rhetoric that the Polish Law and Justice party has been responsible for - the really unpleasant and nasty hate-filled speeches that have been made by this party. It seems extraordinary that the modern Tory party, in which I fully believe in terms of its acceptance of gay people, should suddenly have changed its tune or at least allow itself to associate itself with these people.' And, if you want to see just how far the Tories still have to go in this regard, check out the reportage of this story in the yesterday's Daily Mail and then read some of the pointedly bigoted, hate-filled comments left behind on their website by various homophobic right-wing pond-scum. A far cry, it would appear, from Mr Cameron's seemingly noble and genuine vision of the party as an open, diverse and tolerant one. You know what they say - scratch a liberal and you find a conservative. Scratch a conservative and you find a fascist. Scratch a fascist and you find yourself in hospital with a crowd round your bed.

Emmerdale star Danny Miller has insisted that he can handle the attention he receives for his bad-boy role. The eighteen-year-old actor, who plays Aaron Livesy on the ITV soap, admitted that while a minority of viewers like to heckle him in the street, he has not yet encountered anyone who oversteps the mark too seriously. Speaking to the Daily Record, he explained: 'I get the odd bit of trouble here and there but nothing that I can't handle. I get people shouting stuff, names in the street, but nothing serious. There are people who think I'm the character but when they realise you're not they warm to you. But I do like to go to places that I know and where I can relax - normal pubs around where I live.'

Katherine Kelly has revealed that the Romanian film crew hired for Coronation Street's new DVD special were shocked by the show's characters. The actress flew out to the Eastern European country to film a comedy spin-off featuring her troubled alter-ego Becky McDonald and Weatherfield favourites Roy (David Nielson) and Hayley Cropper (Julie Hesmondhalgh). Kelly has now told the Press Association that the crew were surprised to see Becky 'doing what she does best - drinking and making lots of friends.' She continued: 'We had to explain to them a few times what Coronation Street was. I think they were a bit disturbed by Julie's wig. And a bit disturbed that I was supposed to be this blonde-bimbo waltzing around in my bikini doing what Becky does. They said, "You are supposed to be a bit of blue for the dads," and I said, "I know, but Becky just gets wasted as well."' The special episode, which will be released on DVD in time for Christmas, sees Roy and Hayley visiting Romania for a wedding. While there, they are surprised to stumble across Becky.

Mark Burnett and Sony Pictures TV have developed a reality show version of Fantasy Island. The original series, which aired on ABC from 1978 to 1984, starred late actor Ricardo Montalban as mystical Mr Roarke, who fulfilled the wishes of visitors to the titular island. The retooled version will feature twelve participants who will vie to become Mr/Ms Roarke every week, Variety reports. Sounds like just about the single worst idea that anybody working in television ever had. Or, anybody out of television, for that matter. Contestants will be given the task of making other participants' dreams come true as guests arrive during each episode. The visitors will then be asked to rate their experience, and based upon their answers, one player will be eliminated. 'Fantasy Island [has] all of the elements of a hit series,' Burnett said. 'An exotic location, dream fulfillment, competition and, most of all, emotional storytelling.' And, a concept dreamed up on the back of a fag-packet. Words almost fail me. But, not quite. The show has not yet been picked up by any US networks, but Burnett and Sony are expected to begin pitching the idea in domestic and international markets. And, knowing the average intelligence quota of most people working in the industry, I'm sure it will be snapped up within days.

Cat Deeley has been unveiled as the host of the UK version of So You Think You Can Dance. The thirty two-year-old presenter, who also fronts the reality dance contest in America, will join Nigel Lythgoe to host the British version in January 2010, the BBC has announced. 'So You Think You Can Dance has been a phenomenon in the US and I have been incredibly proud to be a part of it,' said Deeley. 'I cannot wait to bring this show to the UK as I know the audiences will be as wild about it as they are in the States. Part of the appeal has always been discovering new talent and giving gifted dancers a platform to show off their extraordinary skills - being on that journey with them makes this the best job in the world. The fact that I'm now coming home to present So You Think You Can Dance is about as good as it gets.' Lythgoe added: 'When we made the decision to bring Cat on to the US version of So You Think You Can Dance, I knew she would win over our audiences because she is so beautiful and yet identifiable.'

Ex-cricketer Phil Tufnell has said that there is no chance of him waxing his body hair for Strictly Come Dancing. The Cat claimed that he is happy to use moisturiser and have spray tans, but draws the line at a 'back, sack and crack,' he told Digital Spy. 'I'm not going that far! I'll have spray tans, but I'm not shaving my chest. I'm in touch with my feminine side. Katya [Virshilas, Tufnell's dance partner] got me some moisturiser. But I wouldn't go as far as a wax. The chest is staying on.' Tufnell, who scored twenty four points for his quickstep on Saturday, also said that he was shocked by the high standard of celebrity performers this year. 'I'm amazed at how everyone is. It's brilliant,' he said. 'I thought Ricky [Whittle] was fantastic. Not that I'm getting into this dance thing, but it was very impressive.' Virshilas added: 'I said after Ricky danced, "We should probably just pack our bags and go."'

Casualty producers have announced that fans will be able to watch a special webisode on the show's website later this month. The one-off instalment will focus on the programme's new homeless character Alistair (Joe McFadden) and his friendship with paramedic Polly Emmerson (Sophia di Martino). In Casualty's regular 31 October episode, viewers will see Polly making the surprise decision to call the police about Alistair. Once the TV broadcast concludes, fans will then be invited to follow the storyline online as the mysterious figure continues to struggle with life on the streets and discovers that Polly has turned against him. Discussing the project, McFadden commented: 'It was really interesting to shoot in a very different way and great fun to explore my character in a bit more depth and show a gritty side of Casualty that viewers don't normally get to see.' The episode, titled The Parting of the Ways and written by Casualty script editor David Roden, is the first ever online instalment for a BBC continuing drama.

Former 24 star Kim Raver has reportedly signed up for a multi-episode arc on ABC's Grey's Anatomy. According to Entertainment Weekly, the forty-year-old actress, who played Audrey Raines on the FOX series, has been recruited for the role of a new surgeon and possible love interest for Kevin McKidd's Owen. Raver's previous screen credits include Law & Order, ER and the ill-fated Lipstick Jungle.

Australian comedian Peter Moon is the latest celebrity to film a guest spot with Neighbours. Moon, who starred on the popular Australian sketch-based comedy series Fast Forward, will appear as a flamboyant theatre producer, Terry Kearney, and began filming on Monday. Speaking to the Herald Sun, Moon spoke about his initial audition for the soap over twenty years ago when he hoped to land the role of the now legendary role of Harold Bishop. 'Ian Smith beat me to it, so it is kind of weird thinking about the life I could have had,' Moon said. 'When I auditioned, I went into wardrobe and they gave me a pair of shoes to wear that had Harold written on them, so there is a sense of unfinished business.'

Freeview has received three thousand complaints from users who have lost access to various channels or experienced equipment failure following the national platform upgrade. Last week, around eighteen million homes receiving digital terrestrial television - including anyone subscribed to Top Up TV or BT Vision - had to retune an estimated twenty five million integrated TVs and set top boxes to continue receiving the service. The retune was occasioned by a national upgrade of the DTT platform to make Five more widely available and to prepare for the launch of Freeview HD. Despite the wider availability of Five, around four hundred and sixty thousand homes lost ITV3 and ITV4 after retuning, with around seven hundred people contacting Freeview to complain about the absent channels.

US comedian Jerry Seinfeld is 'extremely confident' that his new show about married couples will be remade in the UK and expressed a desire for more feel-good comedy over humiliating reality shows. Speaking at Mipcom in Cannes, where Endemol Worldwide is representing his forthcoming series The Marriage Ref, Seinfeld told Broadcast: 'Certainly in England, I know people are very geographically sensitive. Each couple in the show is introduced by where they live. As soon as you hear where they're from, viewers will know what they're dealing with. We're extremely confident that it will make it into the UK.' Any international versions of the format would be produced by Endemol, with the exception of the US.

ITV is in talks with RTE to come in as a co-pro partner on the second series of Touchpaper Television's police drama, Single Handed. RTE fully-funded the first six episode series, which was shot in Northern Ireland and aired on the Irish state broadcaster earlier this year. ITV later acquired the series, and aired it as a three two-hour dramas on Sunday evenings in August - to some good critical comments but very average ratings. After broadcast, RTE indicated it wanted another series but said it could no longer afford to fully fund the project because of a sharp downturn in advertising income. It has since opened talks with ITV for the UK broadcaster to invest in the drama at the outset, instead of just taking it as an acquisition.

The BBC has recommissioned daytime drama series Missing for a second run. The show, which stars Pauline Quirke as the head of a Missing Persons Unit, will return for an extended ten-part season in 2010. Mark Wingett, Felix Scott and Poojah Shah are coming back for the second series and they will be joined by new guest stars including Roy Hudd, Paul Nicholas, Brooke Kinsella, Gary Lucy and Sylvia Syms. BBC daytime controller Liam Keelan commented: 'We have seen how successful combining drama and factual programming has been in BBC Daytime - extending the run of Missing will create an even greater sense of event.'

ITV Studios is gearing up to turn the board games Scrabble, Pictionary and Uno into new television shows, following a deal with Mattel. Director of formats Remy Blumenfeld said that the production house would be looking beyond gameshows to see if some of the franchises could be transformed into dramas, similar to ITV's Cluedo. 'The great asset these brands have is their name,' he told Broadcast magazine. 'If we made a show called Celebrity Scrabble, you would instantly know what it is.' Yes. Diabolical. 'That is hugely important for us. But although they are great games, we are looking to make new formats with them. Who says they need to be a game show? Not me.' Blumenfeld added that the deal would also extend to creating spin-off brand extensions including gaming products based on the new programmes, depending on what value ITV could add to the brand.

Former Coronation Street veteran Johnny Briggs is to make a guest appearance in BBC medical drama Doctors. The seventy four-year-old actor, best known for playing Mike Baldwin in the ITV soap, will be seen in the role of convicted criminal John Cotham on the daytime serial next month. Briggs's one-off episode, titled Robbed, sees his jailed character volunteering to help the police solve a cold case by showing them the location of a buried gun. Due to ill-health, John, who is serving time for murder and armed robbery, must be given the all-clear to go ahead with the trip and visits The Mill. When John's condition deteriorates, Dr. Lily Hassan (Seeta Indrani) puts herself forward to accompany the convict and police officers during their search for the weapon.

Keith Allen has announced a live show in support of refuse workers in Leeds who are currently on strike over proposed pay cuts. The Robin Hood actor and singer, who is the father of Lily Allen, is expected to perform at the city's O2 Academy with his twelve-piece band on 18 October. Union leaders have claimed that council refuse workers stand to face pay cuts of up to six thousand pounds under the proposed new contracts. However, councillor Richard Brett criticised the report figure as 'misleading,' insisting that salaries would be unaffected for another eighteen months due to pay protection.

The Monkees star Davy Jones has ruled out the group ever reuniting after launching an attack on all of his former band/cast-mates. The singer slammed Mike Nesmith, Peter Tork and Micky Dolenz, accusing guitarist and songwriter Nesmith of having his head 'firmly up his ass.' What, bobble-hat and all? Urrrgh... Jones told the National Enquirer: '[Nesmith's] not an entertainer in the sense that Micky, Peter and I are. He has his back to the audience half the time. [He's] a brilliant businessman [but] as a person, I haven't got time for him. He's very aloof and separate.' yeah, well, that's what being one of the richest men in the world can do to you, Davy - it's called 'power.' The former Coronation Street actor also criticised Tork for being too disagreeable to work with and said of Dolenz: 'I couldn't imagine sharing a stage anymore with Micky Dolenz, who doesn't want to play the drums and wants to play the guitar at the front of the stage.' The four-piece, formed for the eponymous and legendary 1966 TV show, last performed together in 1997. When Keith Telly Topping saw them at Newcastle Arena and can confirm that they were still a pretty damn good little rock and roll band when all was said and done. 'Circle Sky' - absolutely brilliant. Of a possible reunion, Jones added: 'It's not a case of dollars and cents. It's a case of satisfying yourself. I don't have anything to prove. The Monkees proved it for me.'

And speaking of obviously manufactured, but not wholly worthless pop music, Louis Walsh has reportedly criticised Kylie Minogue, claiming that she is 'not a great singer.' Bollocks to that and away with yerself, Louis pal. 'Can't Get You Out of My Head' is a twenty four carat pop masterpiece a million times better than anything a single one of your acts have ever been involved with. The X Factor judge allegedly made the comments when asked if he thought that those obnoxious twins, John and Edward Grimes, have strong enough vocal talent to succeed on the ITV show. 'Anything is possible. Look at Bros, Jason Donovan... look at Kylie, they're not great singers,' he told the Mirror. 'Being a pop star is not just about the voice, it's about the whole thing.' According to reports, the brothers recently conceded that they are not the strongest singers in the competition.

Fans of former X Factor winner Shayne Ward have reportedly organised a protest against Simon Cowell. A group of loyal supporters have decided to gather in Castlefield, Manchester this weekend in order to raise awareness of their anger at the music mogul. Ward, who is still signed to Cowell's Syco record label, recently announced that his third album has been delayed until February or March next year. His last offering, Breathless was released in 2007. In a written statement to the Manchester Evening News, the lobby group complained: 'When likeable Manchester lad Shayne Ward beat off seventy five thousand [sic] and won The X Factor following 10.8m votes, he not only won a record contract worth one million pounds, he became a people's champion.' I think you're confusing Shayne with Alex Hurricane Higgins here, girls. 'It has been nearly two years since Shayne last released new material,' they continued. 'We now feel compelled to speak out. Shayne's manager Louis Walsh has pointed the finger of blame at the record company Shayne is signed to - Syco Music, owned by Simon Cowell. Louis states that he does not believe that Shayne has had a "fair crack of the whip." We, the fans, do not feel that Shayne has either. We ask that Louis Walsh and Syco Music now work together to rectify this and quickly. We, the buying public, want a new album.' Err... just to make this clear, I don't. Personally, this blog - collectively - couldn't give a flaming monkey's cuff about whether Shayne utters a note ever again. But, anyway, self-styled 'Superfan' Julie Nelson-Littleproud, who is the woman behind the protest, confirmed that supporters from as far and wide as London and Scotland will be joining her in Castlefield on Saturday. So, that'll be three of them, then? She added: '[Shayne is] just a normal person, really down-to-earth and so easy to talk to, not at all struck by stardom. He appreciates his fans and he always does the best for them.'

A Saudi Arabian man who boasted about his sex life on a TV talk show has been jailed for five years, his lawyer says. Mazen Abdul Jawad was also sentenced to one thousand lashes by a Saudi court on charges relating to immoral behaviour. Jeez. You have to pay good money for that sort of thing round our way. Jawad's lawyer says that he will appeal. The Saudi offices of LBC, the Lebanon-based Arabic channel which broadcast the show in July, were shut last month. On the show, filmed in his Jeddah home, Jawad spoke about picking up women and displayed sex toys on camera. Extra-marital sex is extremely illegal in Saudi Arabia, one of the most conservative and repressive societies in the Arab world. The thirty two-year-old father-of-four's interview prompted around two hundred complaints from Saudi viewers - most of whom were completely disgusted ... that he was getting more trombone-action than they were - and calls for him to be punished. Jawad later apologised, saying producers at the TV station had tricked him into some of his accounts. Rumours that his apology included the words ' please don't cane me, I was led astray by older boys,' cannot be verified at this time.

Andrew Symonds has agreed to become a television presenter on an upcoming travel and sports show. The semi-retired Australian cricketer, who will join Olympic champion Jodie Henry on Channel Ten's twenty four-hour sports channel, is a longtime friend of the programme's creator Ryan Campbell. Campbell told 'Symmo and I have been mates for years and we have always been talking about starting something like this.' He added: 'He was my number one choice for a presenter because I think that he is the sort of guy that people genuinely want to have a beer with, which I know has got him in trouble in the past.' Symonds has been fined and barred from various cricket matches over the last few years, often after incidents involving alcohol and/or violence.

Police in Brazil say a TV crime show host accused of ordering killings to boost his ratings has gone missing after his arrest warrant was issued. Wallace Souza, also a local congressman, had enjoyed parliamentary immunity until last week when the Amazonas state assembly expelled him. A search is under way, with airports and roads from the city of Manaus in the region being monitored. Souza has not yet been charged and has denied any wrongdoing. The case made headlines around the world when the police accused Souza of being involved in drug trafficking and ordering killings to increase the popularity of his TV programme.

An EastEnders fan has spoken of how she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder thanks to Walford favourite Stacey Branning. Jade Anderton, twenty two, visited a psychiatrist in June after her family noticed that she was suffering from many of the same symptoms as Lacey Turner's troubled character. In recent months, fans have seen Stacey behaving erratically as she experiences extreme highs and lows due to the condition. Anderton told the Sun: 'I watch EastEnders all the time and I could see where the storylines were going, but for some reason it just didn't click. But my friends were saying "You're exactly like her." I just couldn't see it.' Reflecting on her eventual diagnosis, she continued: 'It was hard to accept, but it gave me closure. For years and years I had this feeling that if I went to the doctors they would say, "Look, there's something wrong with you but there is nothing we can do about it." At least I can treat my condition now.'

Kelly Osbourne has posted pictures online showing her bright red armpits after apparently being burned by a deodorant. Osbourne, who is currently taking part in Dancing With The Stars, was apparently so badly injured that her costume on the reality show had to be altered so as not to chaff her sore bits. She wrote next to the picture on her Twitter page: 'Never ever use Impulse body spray from the UK. I sprayed it on myself and now have really bad burns all over my body. Gentle on skin my ass!' Afterwards, she wrote: 'That's just my armpit the one on my tummy is much worst![sic]' A spokesperson for Unilever, which manufactures Impulse in America, said: 'We are looking into the incident that Kelly Osbourne reported and appreciate her feedback and input.' But, probably not the comments of her ass, I'm guessing.

Coronation Street star Anne Kirkbride has admitted that she hates wearing bras. The fifty five-year-old actress, who plays Weatherfield veteran Deirdre Barlow, revealed that she refuses to put the undergarments on when she is away from the set of the soap. Kirkbride told the Sun: 'I've never worn a bra and I hate wearing one because they're uncomfortable. But Deirdre has to wear one or else the sound guys get distracted.' Nice. Defending her unusual clothing habit, she added: 'I'm a free spirit and always have been. I'm a one-off and I've always done things my way.'

Jamie Redknapp has described his wife Louise as 'having great boobs.' Yeah, man - we all noticed that. The former footballer, who has become a regular - and terminally boring - pundit on Sky Sports since retiring in 2005, admitted that Louise's cleavage was not the only thing he was attracted to when they first met. 'I remember the first thing I ever noticed about her was her nice white teeth and huge eyes,' he told Red magazine. Meanwhile, singer and presenter Louise revealed that she is still impressed by her husband's physical attributes. 'He's got a great physique, great legs - he looks good in a pair of shorts,' she said. Most football fans wouldn't know, to be honest, Lou. He was injured more often than he ever played.

Katie Price's new cage fighter lover has allegedly confessed to being a secret cross-dresser. Alex Reid, who has been dating the glamour model since July, reportedly dresses in high heels, wigs, women's clothes and make-up and likes to be called 'Roxanne.' A friend of Price's told Bang Showbiz that she said: 'I find it really horny' and admitted that although she was initially shocked, she now quite likes the idea. The model allegedly adedd (at least, according to this 'friend'): 'If anything it just makes me love him more and shows how strong our relationship is that we are able to cope with this.' She added: 'Junior has become a real mummy's boy, he's really clingy with me and likes me to read to him. He actually keeps wanting to put make-up on him and paint his nails as well!' Sounds like one hell of a 'friend' you've got there, Jordan.

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