Ritual Ideas Relativity

Hugh Bonneville is to make a guest appearance in the next series of Doctor Who. The Downton Abbey actor will play a pirate captain on the popular, family SF drama, according to the Sun. 'I am thrilled to be appearing in the new series,' Bonneville was quoted as saying. 'When I was a boy, the music and Jon Pertwee's Doctor had me peeking out from behind the sofa every Saturday.' Yer actual Keith Telly Topping was quite surprised by that comment, as I'd figured Hugh would've been well into his teens during the early 70s. So, I checked it up on Wikipedia and, whaddya know he was actually born in November 1963. Which means he's a fortnight younger than this blogger! He continued: 'Although the pirate's demons are different to those of the young lad who watched through his fingers, they are no less terrifying. This new adventure is not for the faint-hearted.' Bonneville later wrote via Twitter: 'No idea what the weather's like on earth this day in 2011 because I am elsewhere, IN THE ACTUAL TARDIS ACTUALLY [sic].' Bless 'im! The actor previously received a BAFTA nomination for his performance in 2001 film Iris and will reprise his role as Robert Crawley in a second series of Downton Abbey later this year. He was also, of course, in Bonekickers, so not everything he's done has been an unsurpassed masterpiece!

Benedict Cumberbatch has stated that Sherlock's success brings him a great deal of pride. Speaking to BBC News at this week's National Television Awards, Cumberbatch claimed that Sherlock's cast and crew have been surprised by the level of public support that the show has garnered. 'We've been overwhelmed by the support and the amount of love for the programme,' he said. The thirty four-year-old actor, who plays the venerable detective Sherlock Holmes, went on to suggest that it made sense for the series' co-creators Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss to expand author Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's mythos into a modern setting. '[Holmes] was always a modern man. [He was] always into forensic science and always into developing new ideas,' he explained. 'The idea that modern technology could be involved in that sort of modern detective genre where you have an awful lot of procedural and scientific input - it makes sense for a modern man.'

Did anybody else notice Sue Barker using the phrase 'choking during a semi' to Tim Henman in the middle of the Beeb's coverage of Andy Murray's quarter final in the Australian open on Friday? I mean, there've been rumours, sure, but still ...

Four more actors have confirmed their involvement in the next series of Torchwood. Lena Kaur, Danny Szam, Daniel Adegboyega and William Thomas will all appear in the ten-episode series, Miracle Day, according to Spotlight. Former Hollyoaks actress Kaur is listed as playing Dr Alicia Patel in the drama. She previously had the role of Leila Roy on the Channel Four soap and also featured in the BBC3 sketch show Scallywagga. Which was horseshit, just in case anybody's forgotten it. Szam, whose previous credits include Skins, Casualty and Doctors, will play a role credited as 'Surveillance'. Adegboyega, who appeared in the most recent series of [spooks], will play an unnamed guard. Welsh actor Thomas, who previously appeared in a 2007 episode of Torchwood playing Gwen's father, Geraint, will reprise his role for the fourth series. All four will join series regulars John Barrowman, Eve Myles and new additions Mekhi Phifer, Bill Pullman and Lauren Ambrose.

Bruce Forsyth has backed Vernon Kay to be his successor on Strictly Come Dancing. Kay has long been tipped to take over from Forsyth when the veteran entertainer decides to step down from his role as the host of the BBC dance competition. According to the Daily Express, the eighty two-year-old presenter (Brucie, that is, not Big Vern) has now endorsed Kay as his potential replacement. On the subject of who could be the next Strictly host, Forsyth said: 'There have been people bandied around for the past five or six years.' He added: 'I always say Vernon could do a very good job. He would be good. I said that five years ago.' Earlier this week, Kay was reported to have turned down an ITV exclusivity deal in the hope of landing the Strictly presenting role alongside his wife, Tess Daly. However, Forsyth is also apparently keen on another star, who he feels would work perfectly as a like-for-like replacement. 'Brad Pitt could take my place,' he said. 'It's so obvious.'

The second episode of Channel Four's satirical news show Ten O'Clock Live lost more than three hundred thousand viewers on its debut. Despite on-screen improvements as the live show begins to find its feet, the sideways glance at the week's events took a downward turn, with an average audience of 1.08m over the 10pm hour on C4. It was below last week's audience of 1.41m viewers and slipped below the channel's slot average of 1.11m viewers for the past three months. The show - fronted by David Mitchell, Jimmy Carr, Charlie Brooker and Lauren Laverne - was watched by an additional one hundred and thirteen thousand viewers on time-adjusted C4+1. Ten O'Clock Live got underway with a peak audience of 1.42m viewers at 10pm, but this was whittled down to one million at the point Question Time started on BBC1 at 10.35pm. By the end of the show at 11pm, an audience of eight hundred thousand remained watching. Question Time meanwhile pulled in an average audience of 2.92m over the hour from 10.35pm. The show that seems to be suffering most from Ten O'Clock Live's scheduling is BBC2's Newsnight which, for the second week running, suffered in the busy late night schedule, only achieving three hundred and fifty thousand viewers – its lowest audience since March last year.

And now, dear blog reader, because I know that what you all really come for each week is the hoping of getting a huge, massive eff-off list of TV ratings, here's the One Hundred Most Watched TV Shows of 2010 (figures courtesy of BARB)
1 The X Factor Results 17.71m ITV Sun 12 Dec
2 EastEnders 16.41m BBC1 Fri 19 Feb
3 World Cup 2010: England v Germany 15.81m BBC1 Sun 27 Jun
4 Coronation Street 14.75m ITV Mon 6 Dec
5 World Cup 2010: England v Algeria 14.62 ITV Fri 18 Jun
6 Strictly Come Dancing 14.28m BBC1 Sat 18 Dec
=7 I'm A Celebrity ... Get Me Out Of Here! 13.48m ITV Sat 4 Dec
=7 Britain's Got Talent 13.48m ITV Sat 5 Jun
9 Come Fly With Me 12.47m BBC1 Sat 25 Dec
10 Doctor Who 12.11m BBC1 Sat 25 Dec
11 The Royle Family 11.29m BBC1 Sat 25 Dec
12 Downton Abbey 10.77m ITV Sun 7 Nov
13 Gavin And Stacey 10.25m BBC1 Fri 1 Jan
14 Emmerdale 9.96m ITV Thu 14 Jan
15 A Touch Of Frost 9.94m ITV Mon 5 Apr
16 BBC News 9.71m BBC1 Sat 18 Dec
17 The First Election Debate 9.68m ITV Thu 15 Apr
18 Dancing On Ice 9.64m ITV Sun 10 Jan
19 ITV News Headlines 9.63m ITV Mon 5 Apr
20 New Year Live 9.37m BBC1 Fri 31 Dec
21 Children In Need 9.36m BBC1 Fri 19 Nov
22 The Royal Variety Performance 8.90m BBC1 Thu 16 Dec
23 Upstairs Downstairs 8.85m BBC1 Sun 26 Dec
24 The One Ronnie 8.79m BBC1 Sat 25 Dec
25 The Apprentice 8.77m BBC1 Wed 15 Dec
26 BBC News Special 8.73m BBC1 Tue 11 May
=27 Lewis 8.70m ITV Sun 2 May
=27 Sherlock 8.70 31.48 BBC1 Sun 25 Jul
29 Silent Witness 8.56m BBC1 Thu 7 Jan
30 Wild At Heart 8.55m ITV Sun 10 Jan
31 Rock & Chips 8.42m BBC1 Sun Jan 24
32 Five Days 8.36m BBC1 Mon 1 Mar
33 Harry Hill's TV Burp 8.27m ITV Sat 13 Nov
34 New Tricks 8.19m BBC1 Fri 29 Oct
35 Piers Morgan's Life Stories 8.15m ITV Sat 23 Oct
36 Boyzone: A Tribute To Stephen Gately 8.12m ITV Sun 21 Mar
37 Sport Relief 8.07m BBC1 Fri 19 Mar
38 Countryfile’s Autumn Special 8.03m BBC1 Sun 31 Oct
39 The National Television Awards 7.91m ITV Wed 20 Jan
40 Above Suspicion: The Red Dahlia 7.90m ITV Mon 4 Jan
41 International Football: Spain v England 7.86m ITV Wed 3 Mar
42 Total Wipeout Celebrity Special 7.84m BBC1 Sat 2 Jan
43 Film: Shrek The Third 7.80m BBC1 Sat 25 Dec
44 Merlin 7.68m BBC1 Sat 4 Dec
45 UEFA Champions League Live 7.64m ITV Wed 10 Mar
46 Foyle's War 7.63m ITV Sun 25 Apr
47 Casualty 7.60m BBC1 Sat 2 Jan
48 Lark Rise To Candleford 7.49m BBC1 Sun 10 Jan
49 Prime Ministerial Debate 7.43m BBC1 Thu 29 Apr
50 Benidorm 7.41m ITV Sun 26 Dec
=51 Farewell Jack 7.38m ITV Wed 10 Nov
=51 Helping Haiti – Everybody Hurts 7.38m ITV Sun 7 Feb
53 Let's Dance For Sport Relief 7.26m BBC1 Sat 13 Mar
54 Ant & Dec’s Push The Button 7.25m ITV Sat 27 Feb
55 Who Do You Think You Are? 7.22m BBC1 Mon 19 Jul
56 The Little House 7.21m ITV Mon 8 Nov
57 ITV News 7.18m ITV Mon 27 Dec
58 Antiques Roadshow 7.17m BBC1 Sun 21 Feb
59 So You Think You Can Dance? 7.13m BBC1 Sat 9 Jan
60 BBC Sports Personality Of The Year 7.12m BBC1 Sun 19 Dec
61 Celebrity Mastermind 7.07m BBC1 Wed 6 Jan
62 Coronation Strett: Fifty Years, Fifty Moments 7.03m ITV Thu 9 Dec
63 Midsomer Murders 7.02m ITV Wed 10 Feb
64 Ashes To Ashes 7.00m BBC1 Fri 21 May
65 Whitechapel 6.99m ITV Mon 11 Oct
66 Match Of The Day Live 6.98m BBC1 Tue 19 Jan
67 Ten O'Clock News 6.97m BBC1 Tue 5 Jan
68 Over The Rainbow 6.95m BBC1 Sat 22 May
69 Live Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? 6.90m ITV Thu 23 Dec
70 DCI Banks: Aftermath 6.89m ITV Mon 4 Oct
=71 The National Lottery: In It To Win It 6.88m BBC1 Sat 20 Feb
=71 The ONE Show 6.88m BBC1 Wed 13 Jan
=73 Top Gear: Middle East Special 6.84m BBC2 Sun 26 Dec
=73 Hustle 6.84m BBC1 Mon 4 Jan
75 Six O'Clock News 6.79m BBC1 Wed 6 Jan
=76 Holby City 6.77m BBC1 Tue 5 Jan
=76 The Mirror Pride Of Britain Awards 6.77m ITV Wed 10 Nov
78 Outnumbered 6.75m BBC1 Thu 13 May
=79 [spooks] 6.73m BBC1 Mon 20 Sep
=79 Celebrity MasterChef 6.73m BBC1 Thu 19 Aug
81 The Queen's Christmas Message 6.68m BBC1 Sat 25 Dec
82 Toast 6.67m BBC1 Thu 30 Dec
83 Have I Got News For You 6.66m BBC1 Fri 24 Dec
84 Film: Prince Caspian 6.63m BBC1 Fri 24 Dec
85 Jonathan Creek 6.62m BBC1 Sun 4 Apr
86 Joe Maddison's War 6.58m ITV Sun 19 Sep
87 Law & Order: UK 6.53m ITV Mon 18 Jan
88 The Brit Awards 2010 6.52m ITV Tue 16 Feb
89 A Question Of Sport 6.49m BBC1 Fri 8 Jan
90 Married Single Other 6.48m ITV Mon 22 Feb
91 An Audience With Michael Buble 6.47m ITV Sun 23 May
92 Qi 6.46m BBC1 Fri 24 Dec
93 Heartbeat 6.42m ITV Sun 18 Jul
94 My Family 6.40m BBC1 Fri 24 Dec
95 Luther 6.35m BBC1 Tue 4 May
96 Secret Britain 6.33m BBC1 Sun 15 Aug
97 Celebrity Big Brother: The Launch 6.72m C4 Sun 3 Jan
98 Cutting Edge: My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding 6.38m C4 Thu 18 Feb
99 The Gruffalo 6.24m BBC1 Sat 25 Dec
100 Film: Harry Potter Order Of The Phoenix 6.19m ITV Sat 10 Apr
And, if you didn't watch at least sixty per cent of those then, frankly, what the hell are you doing on this blog?! Mind you, that list (and, particularly the Top Ten of it) will come as something of an embarrassment for all of those national newspapers which printed the year's Top Ten TV Shows a couple of week's before Christmas and made such a fuss of their beloved Downtown Abbey being in it. The year doesn't actually end on 16 December as most of them seemed to imagine it did.

Actor and broadcaster Stephen Fry has been given an honorary doctorate at the University of Sussex. He received the honour in recognition for his work campaigning for people with bipolar disorder, mental health problems and HIV. Fry said he 'couldn't be happier or prouder' about being made a doctor in front of one thousand students. He was given his honorary doctorate at a graduation ceremony at the Brighton Dome. Fry was welcomed by comedian and actor Sanjeev Bhaskar, who is also the Chancellor at the University of Sussex. Others getting postgraduate qualifications included Professor David Clary, chief scientific adviser to the Foreign and Commonwealth Office, who was made a doctor of science. Kathy Walker, who is profoundly deaf, received a postgraduate certificate of education to teach maths. Geoffrey Whitfield, seventy seven, who spent a lifetime promoting peace through sport, graduated with a master's in conflict studies. University vice-chancellor Professor Michael Farthing said: 'The university is delighted to recognise the enormous achievements in both the arts and the sciences, as represented by Stephen Fry and Prof David Clary. We are equally proud that the Sussex name will be represented at home and in all parts of the world by our talented and high-achieving graduates.'

Waterloo Road's executive producer Gaynor Holmes has defended the show's National Television Awards triumph, insisting that the victory was 'well deserved.' The BBC1 programme - which centres around life at a comprehensive school in Rochdale - secured the 'Most Popular Drama' prize at Wednesday night's ceremony, beating off competition from Doctor Who, Shameless and Sherlock. Over the past two days, some critics have questioned whether Waterloo Road was a worthy winner and suggested that the result was the biggest surprise of the night. Although to be fair, those two things are not mutually exclusive - it undoubtedly was the biggest surprise of the night (with the possible exception of The Inbetweeners beating Glee on another category) but that doesn't mean that it was undeserved. Indeed, some would probably argue that Waterloo Road's sheer outsiderness made it a great victory for an apparent underdog. Holmes told the Manchester Evening News: 'It was a well deserved award for everyone who works on the show and such an honour to be recognised by the audience in this way.' In a clear reference to the other two BBC shows, nominated for the Drama award, she went on to note that 'Waterloo Road is not a big event drama or a brand new series that grabs a lot of attention. But this is a testament to its continuing popularity.' She continued: 'It has a very loyal fan base and audience, and appeals to a really broad age group. So it's something that people can sit down and watch together as a family. And everyone has been to school, so it's an experience everyone can relate to. We try really hard to reflect real topics and issues affecting schools and education and those involved. So we do research what the current topics and issues are and we try and tap in to the types of things that kids are talking about in the playground.' Holmes also noted that the programme has helped to launch the careers of several young actors, saying: 'A large number of young amazing performers have come through the doors of Waterloo Road, worn the uniform and have gone on to brilliant things.' You don't have to justify yourself to anyone, Gaynor, ignore the moans coming from the direction of Gallifrey Base, and milk it for all it's worth!

Sky Sports is expected to use a revolving roster of its existing presenters to front its live football coverage as it seeks a replacement for Richard Keys, who was forced to resign this week amid a sexism row according to the Gruniad Morning Star. Two of its best known presenters, Jeff Stelling and Ben Shepherd, are expected to be at the front of the queue as the broadcaster hurriedly seeks to reshape its coverage in the short term to cope with the departure of Keys and their star pundit Andy Gray, who got the tin-tack on Tuesday. Before his resignation, Keys in a rambling, barely coherent hour of car crash radio, insisted that there was no 'inherent sexism' at Sky Sports amid persistent allegations of a culture that was bullying and degrading to women. But Gabby Logan, the BBC presenter whom Keys named as one of those he had helped break into television, said that if she was to compare Sky Sports with the corporation and ITV, 'there was much more of a highly charged machismo and sexual banter in the office at Sky.' Writing on her blog, she added: 'I am sure there are many young men and women who have only worked at Sky, who think that is the way it is in TV. My experience says that's not the case. Clearly the bosses at Sky want to change that culture, which is an admirable thing.' Jeremy Darroch, BSkyB's chief executive, said the sexist remarks by Keys and Gray, made off-air but recorded and leaked via newspapers and the web, were 'completely unacceptable. Events last week were particularly disappointing. It goes against everything Sky Sports stands for [which] as a brand and a business has always stood for modernisation. I don't think anyone broadcasts more women's sport than we do … the sort of comments that were made are completely at odds with that.' It is understood that investigations are ongoing into how tapes that sealed the fate of Keys and Gray were leaked but insiders said there was 'no witch-hunt.' So, that would suggest that they're not looking too hard! Julia Keys, meanwhile, criticised the way Sky had handled the departure of her husband and Gray. 'It's really sad. They contributed so much, putting Sky on the map. Whether you like them personally or not, professionally there's very few who would knock them. I feel the wrong two guys were given the red card. It doesn't quite make sense in a way and it's questionable the way it has been handled. I think Sky was offside in the way it handled it.' Yes, ladies and gentlemen, apparently Richard Keys wife did, indeed, use two crass of cack-handed football metaphors when describing the reason why he husband was ushered out of the door for describing a woman is 'it.' I wonder if she fancies a job on their commentary team, she'd fit in perfectly alongside some of the monosyllabic numskulls they've got on there to pass comment.

Al Jazeera hopes to secure the services of Richard Keys and Andy Gray, it has been alleged. Well, yes. I mean, the treatment of women in the arab world is a subject that causes much debate, I'm sure Gray and Keys would add something to it. According to Gray's chief apologist the Mirra, Keys is today scheduled to fly out to Qatar to begin talks over a potential move to the Arabic TV station, which is keen to expand its sports coverage. Keys is expected to be joined on the channel by his longtime friend, Gray, if negotiations are successful. The possible deal would see the duo divide up their time between Qatar and London. Al Jazeera, which recently won the rights to show the next three World Cups across the Middle East and Africa, is already hosted by a number of UK-based sports presenters, including Gary Lineker. This Mirra 'exclusive,' however, appears to be contradicted by a piece in the Daily Lies which suggests that 'Andy Gray and Richard Keys face being thrown onto the TV scrapheap following their departure from Sky Sports over their sexist behaviour.' So, either the Mirra is talking cack and bollocks, or the Lies is. Hmm ... difficult choice. I could go either way on this one.

Ex-Apprentice contestant Katie Hopkins caused controversy by backing the fired Sky Sports duo on the BBC's Question Time on Thursday night. Hopkins rowed with former MP Edwina Currie - which, in and of itself, is pretty understandable - and sparked 'outrage' on Twitter for her comments when she claimed that woman 'couldn't handle' equality. The panel on the politics discussion show were asked if Keys and Gray's firing was appropriate following their sexist remarks about assistant referee Sian Massey. 'I think Sky Sports has completely lost its sense of humour. I think as a nation potentially we have lost our collective sense of humour,' Hopkins told the studio audience. 'I think people like Karren Brady, who have appointed herself patron saint of all things equal, does not speak on behalf of all of the sisterhood. I think women actually don't want equal treatment, they couldn't handle it if they got it, quite a number of them. It's a tough world out there.' She continued: 'What a lot of women are actually asking for - and you can look aghast at this - is special treatment. If you look at all female shortlists for positions, is that equal treatment or is that special treatment? I think what women need to realise is that you have to toughen up, we can't ask for equal pay, you have to be paid on performance and the results you deliver. It's a tough world out there and I don't think Karren Brady or any others are doing us any favours by putting this sort of debate out there. I think we have to just compete in what is a tough world. And finally, I think the art of banter is something we should be proud of as a nation. I worked for a while in the military and our forces, the best in the world in my opinion, they survive in banter. I think we need to keep that, we need to look after it.' Hopkins also added that nobody was interested in watching women's football - though everyone that does can feel free to disagree with her at this point - and that people would not pay to watch it. Writer Grace Dent mocked Hopkins's comments on the show, writing on Twitter: 'How do you get on Question Time when you're as thick as Katie Hopkins? Do they just search the web for trolls and send a minicab?' Meanwhile, Hopkins' fellow Apprentice rent-a-quote Stuart Baggs added: 'Loving how Katie Hopkins pauses for applause once she's finished speaking - awkward!'

Beth Riesgraf is to make a guest appearance in an upcoming episode of NCIS. TV Guide reports that the actress will play Maxine Edwards, an online gamer who becomes the prime suspect in a murder enquiry. The character will encounter Gibbs (Mark Harmon) and his team following a quarrel with her ex-boyfriend, who is subsequently killed and dismembered, but will develop a close relationship with McGee (Sean Murray). Riesgraf currently stars as Parker on the superb TNT con artist drama Leverage and has previously featured in episodes of Without a Trace, My Name Is Earl and How I Met Your Mother.

Bones actor David Boreanaz has dropped hints about what will happen in the show's forthcoming sniper storyline. In this week's episode of the forensic drama, it emerged that Booth's former acquaintance Jacob Broadsky (played by Arnold Vosloo) was the person who shot serial killer the Gravedigger. Speaking to TV Line, Boreanaz suggested that Booth previously looked up to Broadsky. 'He's someone who Booth is proud of, somebody that he has respected and learned from in the past,' he said. 'He knows he's a good guy, but he's kind of gone the wrong way.' Boreanaz continued: 'Booth is just looking to answer two questions - Why? And how could somebody do this? Now he might have to take him out - with his own gun - and that should be interesting to see.'

Sir Elton John has launched a stinging attack on reality television and EastEnders. The sixty three-year-old singer criticised TV talent shows for the poor standard of contestants and then turned on EastEnders for being 'full of misery.' When asked what gets on his nerves, John told ShortList: 'Reality TV shows. I really hate them. Full of fucking mediocre fucking wannabes.' He went on to add: 'We see enough misery in the newspapers every day without having to tune in to some poor cnut boiling an egg in EastEnders and having his fucking head chopped off because his wife doesn't like him. Oh fuck off, there's so much misery around. We're addicted to misery in this country. Fucking EastEnders.' Highly articulate rant that, Reg! However, the singer admitted that he is happy about one thing. 'I'm glad to see the M4 bus lane's gone,' he said. 'Fucking brilliant.'

Konnie Huq has said that she expects to return to The Xtra Factor, but has admitted that her position is not certain. Huq, who took over the spin-off show role last year, said that nothing has been confirmed about the 2011 run, yet she remains upbeat about working on the programme again. Speaking on the red carpet at the National Television Awards, Huq told reporters: 'Well they are chopping everything around. As far as I'm concerned at the moment, yes [I will be back]. But you just don't know what will happen in this weird and wonderful world of television.' Caroline Flack, Emma Willis and F Factor presenter Matt Edmondson have been tipped to replace Huq if she doesn't remain in the job.

Victoria Wood wishes she didn't have to write every role she plays herself, saying: 'I would be so flattered if someone actually thought of me doing something else.' Well, as it happens Victoria, I've got this idea I've been tinkering away with for a while. It's all about a full-of-her-own-importance comedianne, way past her prime, who thinks she's far funnier than she actually is. Whaddya reckon, too autobiographical?

Rosamund Pike has said that she is not a nudist or an exhibitionist. Which is interesting, if slightly disappointing, to know, frankly. The Die Another Day actress was asked by Metro about previous reports that she is a fan of skinny dipping. Pike said: 'I'm a fan of water in general. I can't go past a lake or a piece of water without getting into it. I'm not a nudist or an exhibitionist but if I haven't got a bikini, I'll go in without a bikini.' She added: 'There are some beautiful places in the Lake District. I've been swimming in western Scotland, which was freezing. There was a lake when we were filming Pride & Prejudice. I don't even know if I was allowed to go in it. I probably wasn't.'

Dame Judi Dench has confirmed that she will reprise her role as M in the twenty third James Bond movie. Speaking at the South Bank Sky Arts Awards, Dench revealed that she will portray the secret agent's boss for the seventh time but declined to give away any details about the latest 007 outing. 'My lips are sealed. I can't tell you anything at all I'm afraid!' she said. Dench, who first played the character in Pierce Brosnan's GoldenEye, added that the latest Bond will mark the first time she has worked with her former theatre director Sam Mendes on a film. 'Of course, I'm looking forward hugely to working with Daniel [Craig] again and with Sam [Mendes] who I've only ever worked with in the theatre,' she said. 'So that'll be all good fun to do! I'm so glad it's coming back, it's wonderful.'

Paul McCartney has told James Corden that he is too fat to go to Africa in aid of Comic Relief. Sir Paul said that Corden was 'a bloater,' adding: 'People don't like seeing tubby people over in Africa. If they hadn't eaten so much, no one would be starving.' Quite right, Macca. Sadly, this was all in a sketch – which Corden himself had written – in aid of Red Nose Day. So, it'll be hugely unfunny then, as with just about everything else that oaf has ever been involved in. Corden, that is, not McCartney, he's capable on writing a few decent tunes if prodded.

A man has been banned from a bar in Hungary after reportedly trying to steal its condom machine. According to Metro, Miklos Antal was caught trying to hide the machine under his jacket on his way out of the Nyiregyhaza venue. Antal reportedly told the police that he had 'met a hot girl at the bar and needed condoms for later' but claimed that he was low on money. 'So I thought I'd solve both my problems at once,' the twenty eight-year-old added. The man was given a lifetime ban from the establishment after locals notified the authorities.

Gladys Horton, co-founder of Motown group The Marvelettes, has died at the age of sixty six. The band were signed to Berry Gordy's Tamla label and had a US number one single with 'Please Mr Postman' in 1961, released when Horton - who took lead vocals on the song - was just fifteen years old. Her son, Vaughn Thornton, said that she died on Wednesday in a nursing home in Sherman Oaks, Los of Angeles, where she had been recovering after a stroke. Born in Gainesville, Florida, Gladys was raised in the Detroit suburb of Inkster by foster parents. By the time of her high school years at Inkster High School on Middlebelt Road, Gladys had taken a strong interest in singing, joining the school glee club. In early 1961, the fourteen-year-old formed a group with school friends Georgeanna Tillman, Katherine Anderson and Juanita Cowart. Soon afterwards, they invited Georgia Dobbins to join the group. Horton was replaced as lead singer in 1965 and eventually left the group in 1967. The Marvelettes originally named themselves The Casinyets - short for 'Can't sing yet.' After entering a high school talent contest, the group - now called the Marvels - won an audition with Tamla founder Berry Gordy and the label's main star Smokey Robinson. They changed their name to The Marvelettes and released 'Please Mr Postman' later the same year. The song was subsequently covered by three quarters of the British beat boom during 1963-64, most notably by The Beatles on their second LP. The Marvelettes went on that have numerous other hits for the label include some of yer actual Keith Telly Topping's very favourite Motown chartbusters, 'Beechwood 4-5789', 'He's A Good Guy (Yes He Is)', 'Too Many Fish in the Sea', the astonishing 'I'll Keep Holding On', 'Don't Mess With Bill' and and their glorious finale 'The Hunter Gets Captured By The Game'.

Today's three slices of yer actual Keith Telly Topping's 45(s) of the Day are somewhat of a mixed bag. But, each in their own different way, magnificent. Firstly, in tribute to dear departed Gladys, here's one I made earlier. Secondly, as reported earlier in the week, B.A.D. have reformed for a tour - which yer actual Keith Telly Topping is very much hoping to get a ticket for. So, it's right about high time this little gem was given another airing. Video directed by Nic Roeg, incidentally. Which, given that the song features samples from one of his finest movies, is rather fitting. 'You're Jack that Laaaad!' Finally, a song which reminds us what a bloody fantastic little combo The Human League were. And, long before half of them became Heaven 17 and Phil and the other one discovered girls and disco as well! Totally worth it, not only for 'Empire State Human' itself of course, but also for the spectacular perm sported by Andy Batten-Foster when introducing it on a now long-forgotten BBC arts show called Mainstream. Tall, tall, tall, as big as a wall, wall, wall!

Where Did All Those Yesterdays Go?

Jeremy Clarkson has claimed that people on television are now in danger of being punished for their thoughts. His comments follow the recent controversy surrounding Sky Sports presenters Richard Keys and Andy Gray, who were criticised for making sexist off-air comments about female assistant referee Sian Massey. Gray was fired, while Keys resigned. Speaking at Wednesday night's National Television Awards, Clarkson said: 'There's a saying from Monty Python - heresy by word, heresy by being and heresy by thought. I think we've arrived at the stage now where you actually can be busted for heresy by thought. That's a terrifying way to live. We try very hard not to be sexist but people think, "Women can't drive," or, "That bloke's a minger." You should be allowed to think what you think.' The fifty-year-old went on to say that he does not feel a greater need to include more women on Top Gear because of the recent debate. 'We don't feel under pressure,' he insisted. 'I just think, "We've got a guest and if it's a man it's a man and if it's a woman it's a woman."' Jezza also continued his war of words with CNN chat show host the vile and odious Piers Morgan. Clarkson, who famously punched full-of-his-own-importance Morgan, really hard in his smug mush, after an altercation at the British Press Awards in 2004, said that he is pleased the former tabloid editor - sacked in 2004 after publishing faked photographs of supposed abuse of prisoners by British soldiers - is working in the US because it means he is far away. 'I am utterly thrilled that Piers Morgan has a job that is three thousand miles from where I am,' he said. When asked if he would ever consider guesting on Morgan's chat show, the Top Gear presenter added: 'If CNN recorded in my back garden I would not go on it.'

Sacked football pundit Andy Gray plans to sue Sky Sports for three million pounds for unfair dismissal and breach of contract, it has been claimed. According to the Mirra, the ex-footballer was with his legal team on Wednesday discussing a possible lawsuit against his former employer after he was fired following off-air sexist comments that he made in discussion with presenter Richard Keys. It is claimed that Gray is seeking payment for the remainder of his contract, believed to be in the region of £1.7 million a year. Gray yesterday issued a statement through his lawyers Schillings, which read: 'I am very sorry that certain comments made by me have caused offence. Such comments were made off-air to work colleagues, and were of course never intended to be broadcast. I was very upset when the comments were brought to my attention, and it was my intention to apologise on Monday night when I was back on air for the Bolton v Chelsea game. Sadly I was unable to do so as I was suspended from the show by Sky Sports and have now been sacked. Football is my life and I am devastated by losing the job that I love. I am equally upset that third parties have been dragged into this issue.' A 'source' allegedly added: 'He feels very down and a little embarrassed about everything. Exactly how you'd feel if you had just been sacked from a job you loved. It doesn't feel like he got a second chance or was allowed to apologise.' Without wishing to prejudge the issue, and of course not being in a position to know exactly what the specific clauses of Mr Gray's contract with Sky were, it's difficult to see how he can possibly win this. Sky's dismissal was for gross and serious misconduct in the workplace, something which Gray has, himself, freely admittedly. And, he could hardly do anything else since he was recorded doing so on at least two occasions. His only defence appears to be that these comments were made off-air and 'not intended for broadcast.' Keys quit his job at Sky Sports on Wednesday for his own comments about female assistant referee Sian Massey, adding that 'going forward without Andy would have been almost impossible.'

To call it car crash radio hardly does it justice. Richard Keys' appearance on talkSPORT on Wednesday morning was like a multi-vehicle motorway pile-up with blazing oil tankers and nuclear waste trucks involved. But, the cars kept smashing into one another for a full hour. It was ironic that Keys should choose a channel whose slogan is 'For men who like to talk sport' to make his public mea culpa for crass, idiotic sexism. Hosts Paul Hawksbee and Andy Jacobs did a decent job, asking some fairly tough questions and pursuing Keys' 'dark forces' line with some tenacity. But ultimately all they had to do was continue to hand Keys rope as he spent sixty incredible minutes stringing his career up by the gonads. Keys wanted us to know how very, very, very sorry he was - in fact the word appears in the interview transcript twenty nine times. He wanted us to know he had got it wrong (thirty four times) and he apologised (twenty six times). But he also wanted us to know how shocked he was by the 'firestorm' of controversy, he wanted us to know that he was the innocent victim of 'dark forces', that 'with success comes envy.' He revealed that he had been stopped from making his apology public, that Karren Brady doesn't have an answer phone (very wise in these phone-hacking times it should be noted) and that he, Richard Keys, had played 'a major part' in launching the careers of a list of broadcasters that included Gaby Logan, Kelly Cates, Kirsty Gallacher, Claire Tomlinson, Alan Hansen and Alan Shearer. It was an object lesson in how to say sorry twenty nine times without ever seeming particularly contrite. And, as the Gruniad Morning Star's Richard Williams pointed out, it sadly demonstrates why agents and publicists are sometimes a necessary evil. Keys doesn't have an agent, and it showed. Nuts magazine, meanwhile, responded to Keys' so-called 'lads-mag defence' with an argument that, frankly, shows the kind of wit the disgraced former Sky Sports presenter and his guffawing cohort Gray could never hope to emulate. A day after Keys claimed that sexist comments he and Gray made off-air were merely 'lads' mag banter,' Nuts distanced itself from the former front man by expertly picking apart the holes in his apology. Pointing to a YouTube clip - one of two posted involving the TV men - which showed Keys denigrating a former girlfriend of co-presenter Jamie Redknapp, Nuts editor-at-large Pete Cashmore made it clear that Nuts would 'never speak of "smashing" a woman or referring to her as an "it," and welcomes the presence of our sisters on the sidelines of our nation’s football matches.' Rite on, brother. With Keys having resigned following a destructive five days which began when a transcript was leaked of a conversation between the presenters during Saturday's game at Molineux, Cashmore went on to gleefully suggest that Keys might like to 'spend his newly-acquired free time gaining an understanding of what does constitute lads' mag humour. As the leaders in the sphere known by many as "lads' mags," we at Nuts magazine would like to condemn, in no uncertain terms, Richard Keys' comments that his recently-leaked behaviour constitutes examples of "lads' mag humour,"' Cashmore said. 'Quite why Mr Keys thinks this way is unclear to us. At Nuts, we do not seek to insult or denigrate women. Instead, we believe that we celebrate them, their beauty, wit and intelligence. If there is a target of ridicule in Nuts, it is ourselves and our manifest lack of the aforementioned qualities. We can only assume that, if Mr Keys seeks to in any way equate his own attitudes with our own, then he must not be a Nuts reader. On the evidence of the last few days, we're quite happy that this is the case.'

Gary Lineker, meanwhile, is rumoured to have been mooted by the Sky Sports top brass as the top target to replace Richard Keys. But there understood to be little or no chance whatsoever of Lineker breaking his two million pounds-a-year contract at the BBC until after the London Olympics, in which he is due to play a central role. Far more likely is that former GMTV presenter Ben Shephard is promoted to the top anchor role, especially as Sky Sports managing director Barney Francis brought him to Isleworth in the first place as a potential long-term successor to Keys.

The acting head of the Metropolitan Police is likely to face questions later about the investigation into phone hacking at the News of the World. Acting commissioner Tim Godwin appeared before the Metropolitan Police Authority on Thursday morning. This came a day after the force said it was launching a fresh investigation after receiving 'significant new information.' There has been much criticism of Scotland Yard's handling of the case from many over those involved in the saga over the last five years. Meanwhile, the BBC claims to have seen documents which suggest hacking may have still been going on as late as last year. A number of public figures have launched civil legal actions against both the News of the World and the police amid allegations the practice of phone hacking was widespread. Scotland Yard's decision to reopen the hacking investigation follows a NoW internal inquiry that led to the sacking of its head of news, Ian Edmondson, on Tuesday. Former deputy prime minister Lord Prescott repeated his call for a judicial review into the force's handling of the case. 'I can't trust them to carry out a proper inquiry and that's why I asked the courts for a judicial review on the Metropolitan Police and the way they've conducted investigations,' he told BBC's Newsnight. Alastair Campbell also criticised the police. 'Why was none of this done before, either by the newspaper group or by the police? Both of them, I think, still have a lot of things to answer,' he said. 'I'm very pro-police. I don't like sitting here attacking the police, but their investigation so far has been absolutely woeful, and it's absolutely right another set of officers comes in and looks at this.' BBC business editor Robert Peston said that he had learned News International, which owns the paper, uncovered four e-mails clearly showing that Edmondson had full knowledge of illegal phone hacking. The details were then passed to police. The new documents seen by the BBC relate to the hacking of a phone owned by the interior designer Kelly Hoppen, allegedly by reporter Dan Evans, who was suspended from the paper last year. Both Hoppen and her stepdaughter, the actress Sienna Miller, are taking action against the newspaper. A NoW spokeswoman confirmed Edmondson's sacking, and said that the paper would take 'swift and decisive action when we have proof of wrongdoing.' Edmondson was suspended from active duties last month after he was identified in court documents as having instructed the private investigator Glenn Mulcaire to access phone messages. Mulcaire was jailed for six months in January 2007 alongside the newspapers royal editor Clive Goodman, who was sentenced to four months, for hacking into the mobile phones of royal aides. At the time and ever since, News Corp have maintained that the actions of Mulcaire and Goodman were without sanction that that Goodman was merely one 'rogue' reporter. Over the last few weeks, that defence has begun to implode like a sack of wet cardboard. A 'source' at News International told the BBC: 'We have decided to root out and hunt down anyone connected with this practice. We are determined to end this.' The source insisted that no other newspaper executive, present or former, was implicated in the new evidence, but the BBC's home affairs correspondent Tom Symonds said this may not be the case. 'I've been told by two sources that Edmondson has evidence himself that might implicate other senior people at the News of the World, so clearly this has opened a whole can of worms,' he said. The new Met inquiry follows the resignation last week of Prime Minister David Cameron's official spokesman Andy Coulson, who said the media storm surrounding ongoing hacking claims had distracted him from his work. Coulson edited the News of the World from 2003 to 2007 and resigned following the convictions of Goodman and Mulcaire. However, he has always denied having any knowledge of hacking, and a 'source' close to him has told the BBC he is not implicated in any way by the new evidence which has come to light. How he knows that, the source did not elaborate. Both News International and reporter Dan Evans are defending the legal actions currently being taken against them.

Simon Cowell has said that there will be big news revealed about the US X Factor in 'two weeks time.' Cowell also insisted that no contracts have been signed for judges on either the British or American programmes. 'We are in the process of going through all the shows. I think there are going to be a few surprises. I genuinely do. I don't think there's one set way of doing it. I am in conversations with ITV and FOX,' he said backstage at the O2 following the National Television Awards. 'The most important thing is to make a commitment to the people who watch the shows and make sure they are better than last year's. We are going to make an announcement soon. We have to make sure all the shows will be back bigger, better, stronger, different. No-one has been contracted yet, apart from me.' Speaking about how he would prevent the show's format from growing tired, he added: 'I've got some ideas and I'm trying to make a show I'd like to watch. It has got to be different, full stop.'

More than seventy years after the BBC first began television broadcasts, the British love affair with the medium may have finally reached its peak according to a report. Viewers notched up an average of four hours and two minutes a day of live TV watching in 2010, an increase of eighteen minutes year on year, according to a report published this week by commercial TV marketing body Thinkbox. Viewers were also exposed to an average of forty six adverts per day, an increase of three per day compared with 2009. Thinkbox, which uses figures based on BARB ratings, said that a number of factors including the bad weather and the economic downturn, as well as new technology such as on-demand TV services, had fuelled a rise in overall viewing. Commercial TV recorded bumper viewing – thanks to hits such as ITV's The X Factor. Viewers watched an average of one hour and four minutes more commercial TV per week year on year in 2010. However, Thinkbox predicts that the four-hour-a-day mark 'might be the peak' amount of live TV people will watch, although the statistics do not take into account programming viewed on devices other than traditional TV sets. BARB does not measure viewing on devices such as mobile phones and tablet computers, but estimates that only one per cent of TV viewing happens in this way at the present time. This rises to two per cent among sixteen to twenty four-year-olds. According to BARB, the amount of timeshifted viewing, using digital personal video recorders such as Sky+ and Freeview+, increased from six per cent in 2009 to 7.6 per cent last year. 'Whatever technology is over the horizon we are confident that people's love of TV will remain,' said the Thinkbox chief executive, Tess Alps. 'Far from threatening TV viewing almost every new media development is boosting TV advertising's effectiveness.'

BBC1 will broadcast a new Saturday night game show called Don't Scare The Hare it has been announced. The series, which is hosted by Jason Bradbury, pits two teams of contestants against each other. However, the teams also have to avoid scaring a four foot animatronic robot Hare as they complete physical and mental challenges. Successful contestants can win fifteen grand. Miranda Hart has signed up to narrate the game show. BBC Entertainment's executive editor Alan Tyler said: 'Don't Scare The Hare cleverly captures the spirit and fun of interactive family video games that has been sweeping the nation. We're excited about bringing this experimental new format to early Saturday evenings on BBC1.'

Steve McFadden has revealed that he was shocked by the controversy the EastEnders baby swap storyline caused. The veteran actor, who plays Phil Mitchell, said that he couldn't get his 'head around' viewers who couldn't separate the show from real life. 'When they did that story, I was playing Captain Hook and guess what, Captain Hook got eaten by a crocodile. It's terrible!' he told the Digital Spy website. 'Take from that what you think. It's pretend! When my daughter and children used to see me do storylines about crack or alcohol it would be concerning that she was watching me doing this stuff. I would have to say to them, "We're just pretending." And kids get that. But sometimes adults don't seem to be able to get that. I find it hard to get my head around. We're just pretending. It's not a public information film.'

Bradley Whitford is to make a guest appearance on USA drama In Plain Sight. Entertainment Weekly reports that the actor will play a military officer summoned as a star witness in a trial involving a military contract company. Whitford previously played Josh Lyman on NBC's The West Wing and also starred in creator Aaron Sorkin's next project Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. He also played detective Dan Stark in recently-axed FOX series The Good Guys. His new role will see him reunited with former West Wing co-star Mary McCormack who played Kate Harper on the political drama from 2004 to 2006.

A man who died after a jousting re-enactment for a TV show was wearing an unsuitable helmet and had his shield set up wrongly, an inquest has heard. Paul Allen, fifty four, died after a splinter penetrated his eye socket and lodged in his brain as he was being filmed for Channel Four's Time Team programme. Allen, of Heyden in Cambridgeshire, died on 20 September 2007. The accident had happened a week earlier at Rockingham Castle in Northamptonshire. Allen had never jousted before despite practising with a lance and shield, the inquest at Kettering Magistrates' Court heard. He was hit by the splinter from a balsa wood tip designed to break on impact with the opponent's shield for safety reasons. The inquest heard it broke off as planned but a small piece of wood flew up through the eye-slit of his helmet. Allen was airlifted to hospital where he had an operation to remove the splinter but he died from cardio-respiratory failure and a severe penetrating brain injury, the inquest heard.

Digital channel Dave has commissioned a second series of its stand-up show One Night Stand. Another five episodes have been ordered, featuring Chris Addison, Dave Gorman, Mark Watson, Greg Davies and Jason Byrne. Each will return to theatres in or near their home town – Manchester, Birmingham, Bristol, Shrewsbury and Dublin respectively. The hour-long shows will also feature two support acts; while a fourth, newer comedian will take to the stage at each gig, but not appear on TV – only online. Series two, which airs from April, follows the success of last year's debut run featuring Ben Elton, Johnny Vegas, Sarah Millican and others. The shows averaged more than fifteen per cent higher audience than Dave's average viewing figures for the slots. UKTV's Jane Rogerson called the show 'a format that genuinely brings a fresh perspective to the busy world of stand-up,' adding: 'You can't bottle the energy, warmth and cracking comedy created when you put these big-name comedians in front of a home crowd.'

The government was accused of damaging Britain's reputation overseas as the BBC said cuts to the World Service mean it will lose at least thirty million listeners. Peter Horrocks, the BBC's global news director responsible for implementing the cuts, which will see six hundred and fifty jobs lost, said they risked damaging the World Service's reputation and the positive benefits it brought to Britain. People who listened to the World Service were likely to trade with Britain, Horrocks added. 'We made that case to ministers. We explained in great detail the impact of the decision,' he said. Politicians from all sides condemned the cutbacks and trade union officials said they would ballot for strike action if the job losses involved compulsory redundancies, while also criticising BBC management for not fighting harder to protect the World Service from government cuts. In the Commons, Billy-Fizz Hague, the foreign secretary, was forced to defend the government's decision to cut the World Service's budget after being condemned by Labour MPs. He blamed the BBC pension deficit and Foreign Office spending cuts required by the 'vast public deficit inherited from the previous government.' In other words 'it's everybody's fault but ours.' What a little cheapskate toerag. The BBC, let us remember, is being forced to implement the cuts after the World Service's funding from the Foreign Office was reduced by sixteen per cent in the government's comprehensive spending review in October. From 2014 the World Service is to be paid for from the licence fee, rather than by direct Foreign Office grant, and the BBC has said it intends to reverse some of the cuts from that point. Programmes to be axed from the World Service's main English language radio station include Something Understood, Europe Today, World Of Music, Letter From, and Crossing Continents. The English language service will have a new schedule focusing on news output, with four daily programmes including BBC World Today and BBC World Have Your Say and a new morning show for Africa. World Service radio broadcasts to western Europe, Russia and the countries of the former Soviet Union, Turkey, India and China will be among the casualties as the BBC axes six hundred and fifty jobs and looks to save forty six million pounds a year, twnty per cent of the World Service's two hundred and fifty three million pounds annual budget. Foreign language broadcasting to Serbia, Macedonia, Albania, the Caribbean and Portuguese West Africa are also closing. Shortwave broadcasts in Hindi, Mandarin and Swahili will also cease. Horrocks, briefing staff about the cuts, described it as an 'enormous shift' for the World Service, with more than twenty five per cent of its employees facing losing their jobs and four hundred and eighty posts to go over the next twelve months. An estimated sixty eight jobs will go at the World Service's English-language service. Overseas, the brunt of the cuts will be borne by the Arabic and Russian services, with the latter set to lose forty five posts, about half of its staff. Horrocks told staff BBC management estimated that the cuts would result in the World Service losing more than thirty million listeners out of its global audience of one hundred and eighty million. 'Today is an extremely tough day for all of us but I assure you the World Service will get through this and continue to deliver brilliantly for our audiences. The task that we have is too important to fail,' he added.

Coronation Street actor Jack P Shepherd has insisted that his on-screen reaction to EastEnders' National Television Awards triumph should 'not be taken seriously.' On Wednesday night, Shepherd appeared to be annoyed after the Walford drama was named as the 'Most Popular Serial Drama' at the event. In fact, he gave a quite brilliant impression of that scene in Friends where Joey doesn't win the Soapie award. ITV's live broadcast of the ceremony showed the actor shaking his head and looking unhappy as the Albert Square cast stood up to collect their prize. However, speaking afterwards on ITV2's National Television Awards Party, the actor claimed that he was only being playful as he knew his reaction would be broadcast. He explained: 'That was just for the cameras. I knew they'd pan to Corrie eventually.' ITV's coverage of The National Television Awards, was watched by an overnight audience of six and a half million viewers. The ceremony averaged 6.5m for ITV between 7.30pm and 10pm, comfortably dominating prime time and with another one hundred and seventy thousand viewers watching in ITV+1. Good figures too, although still more than one million down on last year's NTAs which had a consolidated audience figure of 7.9m.

Being Human creator Toby Whithouse has admitted that the show is influenced by the cult 1998 drama Ultraviolet. The Channel Four serial, which focused on a paramilitary police unit fighting a secret war against vampires, starred Susannah Harker, Jack Davenport and Idris Elba and ran for six episodes. 'Ultraviolet was a brilliant piece of television and a massive influence on Being Human,' Whithouse told SFX. 'I would love to have written on that show. It was terrific, one of the most underrated shows of the last twenty years.' He argued that the show 'should have run for a dozen runs' but admitted that its continued existence 'probably would have put paid to Being Human. You could see its "family tree" of influences, yet it was totally original,' he insisted. 'I wish it had run and run and run.'

Christine Bleakley had her own Big Fat Gypsy Wedding on Thursday morning when the Daybreak host tried on a massive pink dress weighing around one-and-a-half stone. If you missed it, dear blog reader, then that's presumably because you're one of the vast majority of TV viewers who give Daybreak a miss each day. Good on ya. Bleakley collapsed into giggles after she was helped into the massive dress by mother and daughter team Norma and Emma Green from the Channel Four series about the over-the-top style on show at the weddings. She said: 'I've still got my jeans on just in case. Honestly, it feels about five or six stone, my hips have already got little cuts in them, isn't that incredible? So fair play, as we say in Ireland, to anyone who can wear a dress like this.' Christine, who is dating Chelsea and England footballer Frank Lampard, did not think he would be very impressed. She joked: 'My other half is currently running a mile, you know that?' As, indeed, are most of your former viewers, Christine.

Star Trek producer Brannon Braga has admitted that he regrets that an openly gay character was never featured in the series. Speaking to After Elton, Braga revealed that a decision was made not to portray homosexual roles on the Star Trek TV shows or movies in the late 1980s and 1990s. 'It was a shame. I'm talking about the Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, and there was a constant back-and-forth about, "Well, how do we portray the spectrum of sexuality?" There were people who felt very strongly that we should be showing casually, you know, just two guys together in the background in Ten Forward. At the time the decision was made not to do that and I think those same people would make a different decision now because I think, you know, that was 1989. I have no doubt that those same creative players wouldn't feel so hesitant to have been squeamish about a decision like that.' He continued: 'It was not a forward-thinking decision. Knowing the players involved, knowing the decision-makers, knowing it was that they felt reluctant about, you know, we're not saying "yes," we're not saying "no," we're not just not going to touch that right now.' Braga, who is now producing FOX's upcoming SF series Terra Nova, said that the show does not feature gay characters yet, but that could change. He explained: 'We are trying to build a society, you know, build a utopia really. I think we would like to portray an enlightened future. Even if it was a blighted future that we came from, in terms of the environment and the technology so that is something. I'm glad you bring it up because it's something we should be attending to.'

The BBC will be forced to axe some of its comedy hits because of budget cuts, a senior executive has admitted. Comedy commissioning controller Cheryl Taylor admits she already turns down 'great scripts and performers' because there aren't enough slots on air – and thinks the situation will get worst. The corporation has thirty three TV comedy series across its four channels, but using various scum politicians' favourite phrase of 'making some tough decisions,' Taylor says that some will have to go. In an interview with trade magazine Broadcast, she said: 'BBC2 in particular has had a gobsmacking year, but that leaves us with a problem - albeit a nice one. I'm looking at that list of hits from last year, thinking Which do you not give a second chance to?' We are in an enviable position in terms of plaudits, but an unenviable position of having to make some tough decisions.' Taylor said the first decisions on cuts would be made in the next fortnight.

P Diddy, who is - apparently - a rapper m'lud, has been confirmed to appear in an upcoming episode of Hawaii Five-O. The record mogul will portray NYPD detective Reggie Williams who comes to Honolulu in order to seek revenge against a man guilty of wronging his family, reports The Associated Press. The episode will also feature multiple songs by the artist, though it was not revealed which had been chosen.

The Home Secretary Theresa May has rebuked Tory MP Dominic Raab who accused feminists of 'obnoxious bigotry.' Well, he is a Tory MP, to be fair, it's a subject he's likely to be something of an expert upon. May, who is also minister for women and equality, said Raab was 'fuelling gender warfare' - to cheers from other MPs. Raab was asking May a Commons question about government plans to introduce shared maternity leave. He provoked a storm of protest in an article for Politics Home in which he said men were now the victims of 'flagrant discrimination.' Raab said men had a raw deal in the workplace, working longer and being at greater risk of losing their jobs. He told the BBC it was sexist to claim men had caused the recession and 'equality had to cut both ways.' Labour said the comments showed the Tories were out of touch and progress in equality was under threat. But the Esher MP was mercilessly slapped down by May when he raised the issue of maternity leave at equality questions in the Commons on Thursday. He said: 'Making maternity leave transferable would help eliminate anti-male discrimination in the workplace and give couples greater choice about how they address work/life balance together.' May agreed that flexible parental leave would 'give families the choice to decide which parent wishes to stay at home to look after the child in the early stages, beyond a period which will be restricted for the mother only.' She said it would also mean that 'in future the employer will not know whether it's the male or the female who is in front of him for employment who will be taking time off to look after a baby. I think that's an important step in dealing with discrimination,' the Conservative minister told MPs. 'We should be trying to get away from gender warfare and the politics of difference - but I might suggest to him labelling feminists as obnoxious bigots is not the way forward to do that.' May said the coalition would shortly be launching a consultation on its proposed legislation to promote 'shared parenting.'

Today's Keith Telly Topping's 45 of the Day is a disco classic with a real touch of soul. In more ways that one. Especially the lyrics and the moment when, in the middle of the second verse, it turns from a song of celebration into one of regret.

Swim With Me In Ocean Blue. Like Children Do

The National Television Awards began with a rather amusing and witty little filmed sketch in which Dermot O'Dreary slept in and missed the ceremony and required the help of the Doctor and the TARDIS to get him to stage on time. It included cameo appearances from Ant and Dec, Brucie, Dot Cotton, future prime minister Amanda Holden (no, don't ask!) and others. It was actually quite funny, especially as it meant ITV giving over three minutes of prime time to advertising the concept and lead actor of one of the BBC's biggest shows. And then, Stacey Solomon came out and started singing and it all went hideously pear-shaped. At least until Shaun Ryder blew her off stage with an epic version of 'Step On.' Call the cops. The first award, for Best Comedy Programme, went - perhaps surprisingly to Benidorm. Popular win, mind although I think most of the money had been on TV Burp to win prior to the event. (They used the brilliant 'Downton' sequence to illustrate Harry's show which was much appreciated by this viewer, anyway. You can never have too much of that.) In the - genuinely curious - Best Entertainment Programme category two of the best, most witty and imaginative programmes on British TV - Mock the Week and Qi - went up against two of the most crass and lowest common denominator though, of course, very popular - Big Brother and I'm A Z-List Former Celebrity Desperate To Get My Face On TV ... Please Vote For Me To Stay Here As Long As Possible, I'll Even Eat Worms If You Want. So, we had to sit through Gillian McKeith fainting, although to be fair, Holly Willoughby's low cut dress took a lot of the attention away from that. And, of course, I'm A Z-List Former Celebrity ... won. So, we got a bit more of Stacey. Talking this time. That was a meeting of minds. Moving quickly on ... After Matt Di Angelo had cracked the night's first Sky sexism scandal joke (after twenty nine minutes of the programme and it wasn't even a good one at that) EastEnders' Ricky Norwood won the Best Newcomer award (second Easties win in a row after Lacey Turner last year). Before the drama award was presented there was a rather poignant and moving little film about the TV coverage of the real-life Chilean mine rescue which seemed to bemuse a portion of the audience who didn't know whether to 'whoop' or 'scream.' So, they did, like, both. Then there was the Drama award itself. Doctor Who was represented by a clip from A Christmas Carol and Sherlock by a brilliant bit from A Study in Pink. Two horse race, it seemed with Doctor Who going for its sixth successive title. That Waterloo Road - fine drama, don't get me wrong - subsequently won the thing wasn't so much as surprise as the shock of the decade. I mean, the last series of the show was probably its worst, overall. Yer actual Keith Telly Topping lost a bit of interest for a few minutes at that point whilst recovering from the shock, although it's important that he report little old E4's The Inbetweeners beat Glee and its hundred-billion-trillion-gazillion fans (allegedly) to win the Best Digital Choice award. And Lacey Turner managed to get a word in edgeways when collecting her Best Serial Drama Performance award from Louis Spence. Just. Oh, and Ant and Dec won Best presenters. Again. I mean, that's just an annual thing, the year it doesn't happen will be the 2013 when the world has ended. The only England cricketer who isn't currently either injured or down under, a clearly nervous Alistair Cook (minus his Letter from America) was up next to present the award for Best Topical Magazine Programme. Those shrieking harridans of Loose Women were going to win this one, of course. No question. This Morning won. (And, Daybreak wasn't even nominated!) So, it would seem this is a God after all. Although this does, of course, suggest that Philip Schofield is actually popular. Which is, in and of itself, a horrifying thought. Recount, please. In the four-way BBC fight for Best Factual Programme, introduced by well-known horrorshow, face ache (and drag) Ann Widdecombe, Top Gear beat off the challenge of Celebrity MasterChef, Who Do You Think You Are? and Junior Apprentice. James May bowed like he was meeting the queen when shaking Widdecombe, warmly, by the throat, Jezza made a very funny little speech in which he noted the irony of them winning the factual award when 'there hasn't been a fact on the show in seven years.' He also revealed, rather charmingly, that MasterChef is his daughter's favourite show. James then cracked the night's second Sky sexism scandal joke (this one was funny) and Jezza retorted with a Countryfile-ageism gag. At last, a bit of proper comedy! Then the least surprising moment of the night, X Factor won Best Talent Show. And, Simon Cowell looked smug. So, no change there, then. Best Drama Performance pitted Matt Smith, Benedict Cumberbatch, Phil Glenister and David Jason against each other and they got a more than decent actor to present it, Jim Carter. David Jason won. Again, perhaps, something of a surprise considering the competition although the gracious speech he gave when accepting the award reminds one of the genuine affection with which David is held by the general public. Stephen Fry, who'd been held up in traffic on the way to the awards and kept his Twitter followers entertained with a running commentary from the inside of the Blackwall Tunnel, finally arrived and presented Bruce Forsyth - 'the guv'nor' with - the Lifetime Achievement Award which Stephen, himself, won last year. Brucie got the biggest standing ovation of the night when saying that 'tonight would be the perfect place to announce my retirement. But, I'm not bloody going to!' Class. There followed yet more Stacey (has she got an ITV2 series coming up by any chance?) and the soap award. Yer Keith Telly Topping thought Corrie was a shoe-in for this. But, given that I was having the worst night a tipster's had since Foinavon won the National, EastEnders of course went and won.

Richard Keys has resigned as a Sky presenter following his disgraceful sexist comments about Sian Massey. Apologising for his remarks, fifty three-year-old hairy-hands Keys accepted they had been 'unacceptable,' adding: 'I've reached the decision it's time to move on.' Before you're pushed on, I'm guessing. Pundit Andy Gray had already been dismissed by the broadcaster after further allegations of sexist behaviour from the former striker came to light. 'Going forward without Andy would have been almost impossible,' Keys stated. Earlier on Wednesday, Keys suggested that 'dark forces' had been at work in preventing him from making amends. Yes, that sounds like as decent a description of Rupert Murdoch's empire as any. 'I apologised on the Sunday,' the presenter told talkSPORT. 'I realised how deeply wrong we were. Having done that I asked "could we make people aware of the fact we had a conversation and that both parties felt it was right to move on?" I was told "no." Then twenty four hours had passed, by which time the world had gone mad. I don't know why I was told "no" and stopped from telling people what I had done.' Maybe it's because some people within Sky don't like you, Richard and thought you deserved being taken down a peg or two. No idea whether that's accurate although if your 'dark forces' assessment is correct, it may well be. Isn't it interesting, though, that Richard chose to use the phrase 'the world had gone mad'? That's uncannily close to his own - widely reported - thoughts on the whole concept of female officials in football as stated on Saturday and published in the Scum Mail on Sunday the next day.

And yet, astonishingly, gobby opinion-on-everything Coleen Nolan has defended Sky Sports presenter Andy Gray, who was sacked on Tuesday after boorish and lewd sexist comments he made became public. 'Oh for Goodness sake, IT WAS A JOKE,' Nolan squealed in the Mirra. Who, as noted on yesterday's blog, seem to be fast becoming - for some odd reason - Gray's number one public apologist. Couldn't have anything to do with the fact that he's currently suing their rivals the News of the World, could it? No, didn't think so. That would be crass in the extreme, wouldn't it? 'When Andy wotsit told that other fella that the lineswoman didn't know the offside rule he was having a laugh. Obviously she knows, but there is a long running joke that women don't know the offside rule and, let's be honest, most of us don't. Why would we want to?' Nice to see that she's so up on the subject she actually knows the names of the people involved. And, the reason why Sian Massey needs to know the offside rule, Coleen is that it's her effing job to. Your job, if I understand Loose Women correctly, is the read an autocue. I daresay if some - male - TV professional were to suggest that you didn't do this very well, you'd probably have plenty to say about that in your newspaper column. You've usually got plenty to say for yourself. About pretty much everything. She continued: 'Of course some women love football but the majority of football players and fans in this country are men. Some of what Andy Gray said in his exchange was a bit unpleasant but he never intended for me to hear it. And we should be careful before we start attacking people for private ­conversations. I've got to break it to you all that when we're not around, men take the mickey out of women. Yes, even your fella. Can you as a woman honestly say you have never cracked a joke about men? About them leaving socks on the floor or whining on about man flu?' Nolan added: 'After what Andy Gray has said I reckon us Loose Women should be sacked for the things that we say about men.' Great. Can we arrange that, please? That would just about cap a perfect week.

The best bit of the opening episode of Charlie Brooker's new How TV Ruined Your Life show was, undoubtedly, his brilliant send up of 'fear' television If Pens Get Hot!

Steve Coogan has won his first legal victory in his action against the News Of The World's alleged phone-hacking. A High Court judge has ordered London's Metropolitan Police to hand over seized documents relating to the case, Sky News reports. Officers took the papers when they raided the premises of private investigator Glenn Mulcaire, who has previously been jailed for six months for his part in hacking phones belonging to Royal members of staff. The court order follows similar victories for the lawyers of other public figures taking action over the alleged hacking, including Sienna Miller and recently-sacked football commentator Andy Gray. You know, Coleen Nolan's mate. Coogan's lawyers are expected to return to the High Court next month to try to force Glenn Mulcaire to reveal who asked him to hack phones in the first place, and what he did with the information which he gleaned from the calls. Mulcaire is refusing to disclose any information because he says to do so may incriminate him to do so.

Meanwhile, on the same subject, police have launched a fresh investigation into the phone hacking scandal after receiving what they describe as 'significant new information,' Scotland Yard has said. The information relates to hacking at the News of the World, which led to its royal editor being jailed. The BBC says that it has learned the paper sacked head of news Ian Edmondson on Tuesday following an internal inquiry. A source said that a trawl of his e-mails had found 'highly damaging evidence' which had been passed to the police. A NoW spokeswoman later confirmed the company had sacked Edmondson and said it would take 'swift and decisive action when we have proof of wrongdoing.' Edmondson was suspended from active duties last month after he was identified in court documents as having instructed Mulcaire to access phone messages. Mulcaire was jailed for six months in January 2007 alongside the newspaper's royal editor Clive Goodman (see left), who was sentenced to four months, for hacking into the mobile phones of royal aides. The BBC's business editor Robert Peston said that it was information about Edmondson which is likely to have formed the basis of the fresh police inquiry. He said: 'There can now be no doubt that News International has abandoned its previous position that it had uncovered everything there was to find about possible malpractice in the way the News of the World tried to uncover information about the private lives of celebrities and public figures. 'It now appears to be aggressively investigating the involvement of its employees in a way it didn't do hitherto.' The new inquiry follows the resignation last week of Prime Minister David Cameron's official spokesman Andy Coulson, who said the media storm surrounding ongoing hacking claims had distracted him from doing his job properly. Coulson edited the News of the World from 2003 to 2007 during the period in which Mulcaire and Goodman were up to their naughty and nefarious skulduggery. Coulson, and indeed, Cmaeron, have always insisted the Coulson himself knew nothing about the activities of those staff working for his paper. Cameron's spokeswoman said on Wednesday that the new inquiry had come as 'a complete surprise' to the prime minister. She added that he had not discussed the issue of phone hacking when he'd had a private dinner with News Corp boss James Murdoch and News International chief executive Rebekah Brooks over Christmas. Which, of course, sounds entirely credible. One doesn't imagine they discussed New Corp's proposed buy out of Sky either. Well, you know, there was a lot of snow about at the time, maybe they talked about the weather. And, there was the Christmas episode of EastEnders as well, I'm sure that has a bit of a chat about that. A number of public figures have launched civil legal actions against both the newspaper and the police amid allegations that the practice of phone hacking was widespread. Politicians from both government and opposition have also demanded that the police investigate. Labour MP Chris Bryant - who believes he may have had his own phone hacked and who is seeking a judicial review against the police over their handling of the information gathered during the initial investigation - said that he welcomed the new investigation. 'It just goes to show that the Met never did a full or proper investigation in the first place and that they completely failed to follow every avenue of investigation. It is a scandal that it is only through the civil actions that people are bringing that the Met are being forced to act and we are beginning to see the full scale of what went on.' Meanwhile, former MP Paul Marsden has said that he may take legal action against newspaper group Trinity Mirror over alleged phone hacking of himself in 2003. The group said that its journalists worked within the law. The new inquiry will be moved from the Met Police's counter terrorism command to the specialist crime directorate. It follows an earlier inquiry led by Assistant Met Police Commissioner John Yates which decided there would be no further investigation.

Sir Anthony Hopkins has revealed that he is a fan of American Idol. The actor was appearing on ABC's Jimmy Kimmel Live promoting his new horror movie, The Rite, when the host played a video of Hopkins in the Fox competition's audience during an Adam Lambert performance some years ago. 'I think it's a great show because it's like the American dream, isn't it? These kids can get up there and do what they want and I think it's fantastic,' he said on Tuesday's show. The Oscar-winning actor went on to say that while he hadn't voted last season, he had been a fan of eventual runner-up Crystal Bowersox. He also said that he liked the new judging team of Jennifer Lopez, Steven Tyler and Randy Jackson, before joking: 'I want to go on the show and become a judge [although] I couldn't be tough on them. I see that J-Lo can't be tough on them,' he added. 'She's finding it difficult to say no which is very impressive because it means she has a lot of compassion.'

Rupert Murdoch has reportedly cancelled his visit to the Davos global economic summit in order to personally oversee talks with the government over News Corporation's eight billion pound takeover of Sky. Yesterday, the lack of culture secretary the vile and odious Hunt said that he is minded to refer News Corp's bid to take full control of Sky to the Competition Commission as it might 'operate against the public interest in media plurality.' However, he isn't going to. In a surprise move the vile and odious Hunt said that he will first give Murdoch and News Corp 'more time' to come up with 'alternative proposals to address concerns about the takeover.' According to the Gruniad Morning Star, Murdoch will personally lead the negotiation process with the vile and odious Hunt, who will be advised by Ofcom and the Office of Fair Trading. The 'undertakings' thought to be put forward by News Corp include tighter editorial controls for Sky News, but a possible outright sale of the rolling news broadcaster appears to have been ruled out. In its review of the takeover bid, Ofcom concluded that Sky combined with News Corporation's stable of newspapers - including the Sun and The Times - would give the enlarged company control over twenty two per cent of news consumption in the UK. Only the licence fee-funded BBC, with thirty seven per cent, would have more. Ofcom said that concerns about the takeover specifically refer to the loss of plurality in the choice and provision of news, but the watchdog admitted that there was 'no mechanism' to predict how News Corp and Sky would behave in the future. News Corp rejected this claiming that Ofcom's analysis was 'deficient in a number of ways.' Although, they didn't specify which ones. The firm also accused the regulator of failing to consider the bid 'with an open mind.' Or, in other words, give them exactly what they want and not ask impertinent questions. The vile and odious Hunt's team said that the decision to delay the Competition Commission referral was merely in order to show fairness to all sides and mitigate the chances of a judicial review of the decision. However, shadow lack of culture secretary Ivan Lewis criticised the move, saying: 'The right thing to do is to refer the bid to the Competition Commission. Instead [the vile and odious Hunt] has chosen an unprecedented course of action, which raises further doubts about the integrity of the process.'

Mr Sunshine actor Matthew Perry has insisted that his new role as Ben Donovan is different to his Friends character Chandler Bing. Well, yeah. They're in different shows for a kick-off. Jeez, has everybody taken the stupid pill this week or what? In a recent conference call, the actor acknowledged that many viewers still associate him with the quick-witted Chandler. 'I think it's kind of tough because we obviously look almost exactly alike,' he quipped. 'So that's the first hurdle right there, although I look a little older now.' He added: 'I feel the character I'm doing is a little more beaten-down and the comedy is a little bit smaller.' Perry also claimed that Donovan will often act as the straight-man to Allison Janney's eccentric character Crystal. '[I have] a little bit less nervous energy which is what [makes it] really fun to work with Allison, because Allison's character can tend to be sort of outrageous and I can play along with her.'

Billie Piper has admitted that she wanted Secret Diary Of A Call Girl to come to an end before it became too ridiculous. The final series of the ITV2 show, which sees Piper return to her role as Belle de Jour, begins next week. Piper told the Mirra that she did not want the programme to begin 'scraping the barrel' for plots. 'I think we've pretty much been everywhere with the stories and, as that's at the heart of every episode, you wouldn't want to exhaust it to the point of just complete ridiculousness and seediness,' she said. 'I really like this job but you always want the story to have legs and not be scraping the bottom of the barrel.' She added: 'I think if we go any further then we might be guilty of that.' The actress recently revealed that sex scenes in the new series will be 'funnier' than before.

From the Gruniad Morning Star, the following gem: 'Quote of the Day: "I have worked for Sky Sports loyally for over twenty years and I do not wish to comment further at this time" - in a soundbite that conjures up images of Alan Partridge running through a restaurant holding a giant block of Stilton on a fork, Andy Gray wraps up his apology for comments made about assistant referee Sian Massey by declaring he had no further match analysis to provide anyway. Or something.'

ABC has ordered a new drama pilot focusing on the fictional exploits of author Edgar Allan Poe. Poe will portray the writer as a detective employing unusual methods to solve crimes in 1840s Boston, according to TV Guide. Alias scribe Chris Hollier has written the pilot episode and will also executive produce alongside Dan Lin. The network has also commissioned another period drama piece set in the early 1960s. Pan Am is described as 'a sexy soap' and will focus on the glamourous world of pilots and stewardesses during 'the Jet Age.' The West Wing's Tommy Schlamme will direct the pilot and will also executive produce alongside Nancy Hult Ganis and Jack Orman. Orman, whose previous credits include JAG and ER, has also written the Pan Am pilot.

A coastguard team have succeeded where Top Gear failed - by ruining an 'indestructible' 4x4. Several series ago, Jeremy Clarkson set a Toyota Hilux on fire, hit it with a wrecking ball and dropped a caravan on it but got in and started it afterwards. But when Coastguards in Nairn left their pick-up truck on a beach, they could only watch as it was swamped by the tide, breaking it. A source said: 'It's red faces all round, I'm afraid. The boys are taking a bit of stick over this. There's bound to be a few Top Gear jokes on the go, now the news is out.' The second-hand Hilux, which was refurbished at a cost of twenty thousand pounds got stuck last month at the entrance to Findhorn Bay during a search for missing Inverness man Michael MacLennan. The team were left to watch as the tide came in. It hasn't worked since it was pulled out six hours later. Top Gear's Hilux still started after it was washed out to sea and submerged for several hours in a2003 episode of the BBC show. It is unclear when the coastguard vehicle will be replaced but the team now face a twenty-minute delay getting to emergencies. An internal inquiry called the mishap 'an unfortunate accident.' A Coastguard spokesman said: 'Even people with the best local knowledge can be caught out.'

Glee's executive producer Ryan Murphy has described Kings of Leon as 'self-centred assholes' following their comments about his show. Last summer, Kings of Leon singer Jared Followill revealed that the band had turned down the chance for their songs to appear on Ugly Betty and Glee because they were concerned about 'selling out.' Jeez. Guys, The Clash had one of their songs used to sell jeans, and The Beatles have been used to sell trainers. Nobody gives a flying fek about that stuff anymore! In an interview with The Hollywood Reporter, Murphy admitted that the remarks had annoyed him. 'Fuck you, Kings of Leon,' he said, sounding rather annoyed it must be admitted. 'They're self-centred assholes, and they missed the big picture. They missed that a seven-year-old kid can see someone close to their age singing a Kings of Leon song, which will maybe make them want to join a glee club or pick up a musical instrument. It's like, okay, hate on arts education. You can make fun of Glee all you want, but at its heart, what we really do is turn kids on to music.' Murphy was also irritated by Slash's recent claim that 'Glee is worse than Grease,' saying: 'Usually I find that people who make those comments, their careers are over - they're uneducated and stupid.' Ouch. However, Caleb Followill admitted that he is surprised the band's refusal to let the show use their songs has annoyed Murphy so much. 'This whole Glee thing is a shock to us,' he said. 'It's gotten out of hand. At the time of the request, we hadn't even seen the show. It came at the end of that record cycle and we were over promoting ['Use Somebody']. This was never meant as a slap in the face to Glee or to music education or to fans of the show. We're not sure where the anger is coming from.' It's coming from Ryan Murphy pal. You've annoyed him. You wouldn't like him when he's annoyed.

The opera singer who appears in those really annoying Go Compare adverts has reportedly signed a four hundred and fifty thousand pound deal to continue the role. Wynne Evans has appeared as tenor Gio Compario in seven commercials for the price-comparison website. However, the Sun claims that the singer only signed the deal after agreeing not to lose weight. 'There is a well-trodden path of big celebs getting famous and being unable to resist the vanity of losing weight,' a 'source' allegedly told the paper. 'It was integral that the ad character, Gio Compario, retained his egg shape, so it was put in his contract.'

Cheryl Cole is hoping to launch a Hollywood movie career, it has been reported. The Girls Aloud singer, who has been linked to a position on the judging panel on the upcoming US version of The X Factor, is said to be looking for the right role. 'Cheryl's people are already looking into film roles for her,' a 'source' allegedly told the Daily Lies. 'There is a belief in Hollywood that if you're not in a movie you're no-one, and she knows that a part in a film could really launch her career over there. They're focusing on an all-action kick-ass role which would show her off in the best light. She'd look fabulous on-screen in a vampish costume. She knows the key to her success probably lies in her killer looks.' They - allegedly - added (and, I say allegedly here because this is all sounding suspiciously 'made-up' to this blogger; ala the Lies infamous 2003 'Holly Valance in discussions to take over on Buffy' malarkey): 'Her people are all too aware an action role is ideal as it won't involve too much acting ability.' And, if they can also get her a singing job where not much singing ability is required, too, that'll be a double bonus.

Moving on, finally, to yer actual Keith Telly Topping's 45(s) of the Day, this time around we've got a couple of twenty four carat indie classics from the late 1980s. Starting with Spiritualized.And following that little dreamy epic with ... another little dreamy epic, this one from Tracy and The Primitives.Nice!