Down On Rue Morgue Avenue

Matt Smith will continue to star in Doctor Who until at least the show's fiftieth anniversary in 2013, according to tabloid reports. The Daily Express claims that BBC bosses are 'keen to hold on to the actor for as long as possible.' A 'source' allegedly told them: 'The current team believe that Matt is the person to continue taking the show forward over the next few years and want to avoid the prospect of fans having to get used to yet another actor in the role in the near future.' The 'insider' is also said to have confirmed that Smith has no plans to leave the role, despite a suspiciously co-ordinated and sustained campaign of whispers by the Sun to suggest otherwise. 'Matt has made it clear he's keen to commit himself to the series for the long-term,' they claimed. However, a BBC spokeswoman apparently denied that casting had been finalised so far in advance. 'From Matt's point of view he's loving playing the part and has no plans to quit,' she confirmed. 'We aren't in a position to provide a comment as to whether he'll be playing the part in 2013.' Meanwhile, the BBC have announced that they will broadcast the recent Doctor Who Prom next month. An edited version of the event will air on BBC3 on 6 September. The hour-long programme will begin at 8.30pm. The channel will also screen the documentary special Doctor Who's Greatest Moments and a repeat of recent series finale The Big Bang in the lead up to the Prom. The event originally took place on 24 July and was previously broadcast in full on BBC Radio 3. It was hosted by Matt Smith, Karen Gillan and Arthur Darvill.

The executive producer of House has revealed that she is looking forward to exploring the romances on the show. Katie Jacobs told Entertainment Weekly that she is interested in the group's dynamics now that House (Hugh Laurie) and Cuddy (Lisa Edelstein) are dating and Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard) is in a relationship with Sam (Cynthia Watros). 'Essentially I've always viewed our guys as a family,' she said. 'And they are a family. And so now this season, with coupling up with others, I wonder if our guys don't try to sneak back and have a beer with just the guys, do you know what I mean?' She continued: 'I mean, how well do our characters who only have last names - Cuddy, House, Wilson, Chase - how do they couple up? So we'll see.'

CSI's executive producer Carol Mendelsohn has revealed that the characters are still struggling to come to terms with the events of the last season finale. In the episode, Ray Langston (Laurence Fishburne) was stabbed by Nate Haskell (Bill Irwin). However, Mendelsohn told TV Guide that Ray will not be the only person affected by the assault. 'All of our characters will be recovering from the events of the finale,' she said. '[Ray] will have lost something in the attack.' Mendelsohn also revealed that she wants Nate to stand trial for the stabbing, saying: 'Our current plan is to have Nate Haskell defend himself, and anything goes - including putting Langston on the stand!'

The boss of Pinewood Studios, where the Bond films are shot, has said that he is 'sure' there will be another instalment in the future. Producers of the twenty third movie in the series had hoped for a release in 2011 or 2012 but the franchise is currently on hold due to uncertainty over the future of MGM. According to WENN, the delay had caused 'fears' - although amongst whom, they did not say - that Daniel Craig's Quantum of Solace would be the final film. However, the studio's chief executive Ivan Dunleavy told Sky News: 'I am sure there will be another Bond movie in future.' He added of the planned closure of the UK Film Council: 'That decision has been made and there are a number of functions that the UK Film Council performs and they will be ongoing.'

Ant and Dec's plans to revive the game show Name That Tune for Channel Five have been abandoned over an issue with the owners of the format. And, because it would have been shite. The duo announced in October that their company would revive the show, which was popular in the 1970s and 80s. Five, which was recently acquired by publishing mogul Richard Desmond, will now produce a new music quiz show called The Beat Goes On. It will test musical knowledge and singing and dancing ability. The programme will be presented by Dave Berry. A statement from Channel Five, Ant and Dec's company Gallowgate and GroupM Entertainment - who are co-producing the new show - said they agreed with the Name That Tune format holders not to pursue a revival. When the return of the quiz was announced last year, Five hailed it as 'peak-time entertainment for a sophisticated Twenty First Century audience.' Which was, of course, bollocks. Name That Tune began life as a segment in 1970s variety show Wednesday At Eight, but it became a show in its own right in the 1980s with comedian Tom O'Connor at the helm. He was eventually replaced by Lionel Blair. It is not the first time Five has attempted to revive the show, as Jools Holland hosted a short-lived version in the late 1990s.

BBC4 has announced that it will broadcast an opera based on the life of Anna Nicole Smith. According to the Gruniad Morning Star, the imaginatively titled Anna Nicole - The Opera is a collaboration between BBC Productions, the Royal Opera House and composer Mark Anthony Turnage. Smith, who died in 2007 after an overdose, will be played by Dutch soprano Eva-Maria Westbroek. The opera is expected to be broadcast on BBC4 early next year. The channel also unveiled plans to adapt the Douglas Adams novel Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency and the DH Lawrence books Women In Love and The Rainbow. Elsewhere, Carry On star Hattie Jacques will be portrayed by big fat Ruth Jones in a biopic, whilst Jessie Wallace will appear as Pat Phoenix in Coronation Street: A Star Is Born. The drama focuses on the soap's creator Tony Warren as he fought to get the first episode on television. In addition to Jones, Hattie also stars Cold Feet's Robert Bathurst as John Le Mesurier with Being Human actor Aidan Turner as Jacques' youthful lover John Schofield. There will also be a film tribute by Billy Connolly to one of Scotland's greatest poets Norman MacCaig, who died in 1996 and an adaptation of Macbeth starring Patrick Stewart alongside documentaries about art in Germany, British sculpture, and artefacts found in one English village. BBC4 controller Richard Klein said: 'BBC4 is the channel that seeks to offer television to those parts of the brain that other television channels don't reach. We always aim to provide context and complexity, and all with a strong flavour of wit and opinion. So I am delighted to be able to offer a host of deliciously inventive, thought-provoking and entertaining programmes over the next six months.' The full range of press packs can be viewed here.

Meanwhile, confirmed air-dates from ITV
U Be Dead - Sunday 5 September at 21:00
Bouquet of Barbed Wire begins Monday 6 September at 21:00
Law & Order: UK returns Thursday 9 September at 21:00
Paul O'Grady Live begins Friday 10 September at 21:00

League Of Gentlemen star and Doctor Who and Sherlock writer Mark Gatiss celebrates the horror film in a new three-part series for BBC4. Mark begins his exploration of the genre by looking at the golden age of Hollywood horror of the Thirties and Forties and examines some iconic pictures directed by Englishman James Whale (Frankenstein, The Old Dark House and Bride Of Frankenstein), who loaned the films a camp sensibility, and populated them with a largely British ex-pat cast. The second episode concentrates on the complete reinterpretation of the genre. In Hammer's 1958 remake of Dracula, the original vampire with heavy face and foul breath was gone and along came the Byronic Count in the shape of Christopher Lee, a bloodsucker of almost gentlemanly proportions. It was at this time that horror films turned from black and white to colour and began to feature an element of sex, tapping into an increasingly permissive society. The last programme in the series explores the gritty and graphic new wave of horror cinema from Night Of The Living Dead in 1968 to the movie Halloween ten years later, the first of the great slew of slasher films which were to dominate the next decade. Mark details the shifts in the horror genre, and meets leading film-makers from the era. Gatiss will also play Professor Cavor in BBC4's forthcoming adaptation of HG Wells' The First Men On The Moon alongside Rory Kinnear. The story is told to a young boy in 1969 as the world waits for news of the Apollo 11 astronauts.

Matthew Fox has admitted that he has never seen an episode of Lost. And, judging by his performance in series three and four, yer Keith Telly Topping can well believe that.

Simon Cowell has admitted that he is 'devastated' to have had to axe Shirlena Johnson from The X Factor. Yesterday, it was claimed that the thirty-year-old would be removed from the competition after a medical report revealed that she had been diagnosed with serious mental health problems. 'It's heartbreaking,' Cowell told the Sun. Johnson, they note, 'stunned' viewers with her bizarre performance of Duffy's 'Mercy' in the first episode of the ITV programme's seventh series. Producers may now be forced to scrap footage of the singer's appearance at Boot Camp. Cowell continued: 'I really feel for her. I'm very upset and disappointed. The advice I'm given is she can't do the show. But there's another argument that we're depriving her of the chance to make some money. Even if she didn't win, she could have picked up money for personal appearances.' He added: 'On the other hand, if we don't take the advice we're irresponsible.' The newspaper revealed that Johnson had performed Lady GaGa's 'Bad Romance' in a leopard print bra and hotpants at Boot Camp - filmed last month in front of Cowell, Louis Walsh and Nicole Scherzinger. 'Nicole and Louis kept giggling and Simon was in disbelief,' a source said. Johnson told the paper that she did not hide her medical problems intentionally. 'I just wasn't sure how much I was supposed to say,' she said. 'I'm very upset. I think people want to hear more of me and they will be disappointed by this.' She added: 'It's not fair. I want another chance.' An X Factor spokesperson said: 'The welfare of contestants is of paramount importance and it has been agreed Shirlena Johnson should not continue.'

Meanwhile Johnson's mother has 'hit out' at The X Factor for the decision. Johnson has been removed from the competition after producers received a medical report which revealed that she suffers from serious mental health problems. However, Carmen Stanley claimed that the show 'bosses' - that's tabloid shorthand for 'producers' only with less syllables - were aware of her daughter's illness and the medication that she uses. 'It's cruel the way they have built up her hopes only to dash them again,' she told the Mirror. X Factor 'insiders' said that the thirty-year-old's medical reports were delayed because her doctor was on holiday. 'We acted as quickly as we could to do the right thing in a responsible way,' they said. Presumably in unison. 'We only received it on Monday, so we took appropriate action as soon as we could. We believe we did the right thing and acted in a responsible way.' Her family denied the claims and insisted that that 'all her medical reports' had been requested a month ago. Stanley said: 'I feel angry. I think it's very unfair. When she was at Boot Camp she had to fill a form in about her medical history and she had to put her doctor's name down. I think it's disgusting, them claiming that they've just found her medical report. I would prefer that she was never on the show if I knew this was going to happen.' She added: 'I think it's appalling the way she has been treated - building up her hopes only to crush them again.' Shirlena's aunt Maxine Stanley also hit out at the programme-makers for not looking after her niece. 'I don't think the show's been supporting her at all,' she said. 'If they thought she was mad she shouldn't have been allowed to go on stage in the first place.' A psychologist was reportedly present as the mother-of-two was informed of the decision by the show's executives in person.

Sir David Jason has revealed that he wants to pay tribute to World War II heroes in his new show. Albert's Memorial, which also stars David Warner, focuses on a pair of war veterans called Harry and Frank who vow to give their friend Albert a battlefield burial. According to the Mirror, Jason explained: 'There was a lot of laughter.' Yeah, because the Second World War was bloody hilarious, wasn't it? 'But a lot of pathos too.' So, that's all right then. He added: 'I suppose that I just grew up knowing, in a very vivid way, that if it hadn't been for the men who fought in the Second World War we'd all be living in a very different world now. I feel that we owe a debt of gratitude to men like Harry, Frank and Albert and Albert's Memorial is a small way of acknowledging it.'

Alicia Coppola will make a guest appearance in the second season of NCIS: Los Angeles. TV Guide reports that she will play FBI agent Amy Rand, an expert on kidnapping cases. Described as 'athletic, determined and authoritative,' the character will team up with the NCIS team to prevent a murder spree. Coppola will make her first appearance on the show in October. It is also possible that her character could return later in the season. The actress previously played IRS agent Mimi Clark on CBS drama Jericho and has also made guest appearances on both the original NCIS and its predecessor JAG.

Richard Desmond is in talks to take Big Brother to Channel Five next year. The show's run on Channel Four is to end next month, with this week's Big Brother series eleven final to be followed by two and a half weeks of Ultimate Big Brother to find the most popular housemate from the past ten years. Talks are now said to be in progress between Channel Five and Big Brother producer Endemol UK. However, it is understood the full details of the deal are still to be finalised and no announcement is imminent. Desmond has publicly declared his interest in buying the series, despite the fact that many observers believe it is a tired format. Channel Four announced last year the current series would be the last. It will end with the Ultimate Big Brother final on Friday, 10 September. Last night's Big Brother winner Josie Gibson has been joined by eleven former housemates, including Ulrika Jonsson, Brian Dowling, Nick Bateman and Nadia Almada, for the show's final fling on Channel Four. Northern & Shell, Desmond's privately owned media group, originally teamed up with Endemol with the intention of mounting a joint bid for the UK's fourth largest terrestrial channel. But Desmond eventually bought Channel Five last month from pan-European broadcaster RTL without the need for a partner. Channel Four signed a three-year contract with Endemol for Big Brother in 2006, which was said at the time to be worth up to seventy million pounds. The first three-year deal Channel Four signed with Endemol for Big Brother in 2002 was understood to have cost the broadcaster up to forty million pounds. Desmond is likely to pay far less than that. One senior TV industry insider allegedly told the Gruniad Morning Star that thirty million might be a more realistic figure now that the show's popularity has waned. Big Brother's ratings peaked in 2002 with series three, won by Kate Lawler. The series averaged 5.3 million viewers, with 9.2 million for the final. Average viewing figures for the main summer series remained over four million for the next four years, before beginning to dip in 2007 after the Shilpa Shetty race row engulfed Celebrity Big Brother. In 2009 Big Brother series ten averaged about 2.2 million. This year's final Big Brother series on Channel Four has seen an improvement in ratings, but it is still nowhere near the show's pre-2007 heyday.

The Advertising Standards Authority has banned a BT advert for making misleading claims about its broadband speeds, after complaints from Virgin Media, TalkTalk and Sky. Last year, BT launched a TV advert, three radio ads and a national press campaign for its BT Total Broadband service as part of the long-running 'Adam and Jane' campaign starring Kris Marshall and Esther Hall. The adverts claimed that BT was 'rolling out up to Twenty Mbps speeds to give you a consistently faster broadband throughout the day even at peak times.' The TV advert featured the Adam character viewing a house while his partner Jane used the Internet at home. The ASA received a total of seventeen complaints about the adverts, including objections from Sky, TalkTalk and Virgin Media. Some complainants felt that the speed with which Jane was surfing the net was faster than any available connection speed, while others viewed BT's speed claims as misleading. In response, BT argued that the sequence in the TV advert was not intended to give a direct comparison of the faster speeds achievable on its Twenty Mbps service. However, the ASA noted that consumers would expect any on-screen demonstrations to give a fair representation of the 'benefits available to them,' which was 'not the case' in BT's advert. The watchdog also ruled that BT could not substantiate its claim that the Twenty Mbps service was consistently faster than its Eight Mbps connection, even at peak times. It therefore decided that the ad was 'likely to mislead' and must not appear again in its current form.The ASA added: 'We reminded BT to ensure they held robust documentary evidence to prove all claims capable of objective substantiation.'

Police and health and safety officials are investigating after a mother and son were seriously injured by a falling tree at a Pembrokeshire wildlife park. The twenty eight-year-old woman and her four-year-old son from Llanelli, Carmarthenshire, were flown to hospital in Swansea with serious injuries. The accident was at Manor Wildlife Park, St Florence, near Tenby. The park is owned by TV celebrity Anna Ryder Richardson and her husband Colin MacDougall. The couple issued a statement saying they were 'absolutely devastated' by the incident and that their 'only concern is for the little boy and his mother. Our thoughts are with them and their family,' the couple said.

Konnie Huq has claimed that her fiancé Charlie Brooker is 'more of a softie' than people realise. We believe you, chuck, thousands wouldn't. Huq said that fans should not have been surprised to hear about their engagement earlier this year, arguing that their differing public images are not particularly accurate. 'We're not opposites attract as people think,' she told Look magazine. 'We've known each other for years. We met at the Edinburgh Festival and always got on well. I've got more of an evil sense of humour than people realise and although Charlie's job is to be critical, he's more of a softie than you'd think.' The former Blue Peter star also revealed that the couple were initially planning to get married in Las Vegas, but put the plans on hold after she landed the presenting slot on The Xtra Factor.

Laurence Fishburne has reportedly been paying for daughter Montana's legal representation. The nineteen-year-old was recently charged for battery and assault with a deadly weapon after beating her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. According to TMZ, Laurence hired Lindsay Lohan's lawyer, Shawn Chapman Holley, to represent Montana in the hope of helping her avoid jail time. A source told the website that the actor continues to pay for Chapman's service and all related court fees. Montana previously revealed that her father would not speak to her until she gave up her new career in porn.

Vintage TV has confirmed plans to support music charity Nordoff Robbins by donating half the revenue from a public vote to choose the first song played for its launch. On 1 September, Vintage TV will officially start broadcasting a schedule of music and popular culture programming aimed at over-fifties on Sky and Freesat. Alongside a raft of commissioned shows, the channel will also air specially-created videos for songs that were in the charts prior to 1976, when promotional music videos did not exist. Using footage and images from some of the world's leading archive collections - including Getty, ITN Source and the BBC - the broadcaster has created videos for songs such as 'Not Fade Away' by The Rolling Stones, 'Will You Love Me Tomorrow' by The Shirelles and 'If I Can Dream' by Elvis Presley. Errr... there already was a video for the latter. It was brilliant. Vintage TV is running a public text vote for people to select the first song to be played on the channel from a list of fifty possible tracks. The broadcaster said that it will donate fifty per cent of the revenue from the vote to the Nordoff Robbins charity, which provides music therapy services. David Pick, the former EMI executive who set up Vintage TV, said: 'We are honoured to be able to support this extremely worthy cause. Nordoff Robbins is renowned worldwide for the great work it has been doing through music since 1959. The results it achieves with no government funding at all are little short of remarkable.' Emily Brett, Nordoff Robbins fundraising manager, added: 'Play, dance or sing - everyone responds to music. It has a unique power. 'Nordoff Robbins harnesses this - with all its emotion, energy, resonance and rhythm - to reach children and adults whose lives are constrained by illness, disability, trauma or exclusion. Nordoff Robbins supporters are behind every life-changing experience in music that we enable. We receive no statutory funding, and are heavily reliant on voluntary donations to deliver forty five thousand sessions every year - in schools, day centres, hospitals and care homes across the UK, and in our centre and units. Every one of these sessions helps to transform someone's life. We are delighted that Vintage TV have chosen to support our unique charity."

Chris Evans has been forced to shut down his pub The Lickfold Inn due to a lack of business, it has been revealed. The ONE Show host blamed the recession for putting customers off coming to the Fifteenth Century gastropub in Petworth, West Sussex, reports the Sun. Camilla Hansen, head of the Evans Pubs firm, said: 'After almost three years I have sadly had to make the decision to close The Lickfold Inn. We have had some great times there but also some less good times and after a period of struggling to hit a consistent high, I feel that we can no longer justify keeping the Lickfold open.' Evans staged the wedding reception for ex-wife Billie Piper and Laurence Fox at the pub in 2007.

The Geometry Of Innocence

The X Factor has previously used Auto-Tune on contestant vocals in the live finals, it has been claimed. Reports yesterday suggested that the show's producers had admitted to using the controversial equipment to improve how some contestants' auditions came across on television but they'd furiously denied ever using the technique in a live situation. Now, a former member of the X Factor production team has alleged that this is a bre-faced lie and that the programme employed Auto-Tune during the live shows. At least, according to the Mirror. The anonymous 'insider' also claimed that vocal effects have been widely used in the past to make contestants sound worse as well as better - an allegation which has been strongly denied by The X Factor's executive producer. The former show employee told the paper: 'It was an open secret on the show that Auto-Tune was used to both make contestants slightly more on - or off - key. It has been used for a long time on the show both for the auditions and the live shows. On some occasions it was used to such extremes that while the contestant may have sounded like they were hitting the right note, the backing band had gone right out of tune.' The 'insider', who claimed that other voice-altering devices such as Melodyne had also been used, continued: 'The problem is that you have got a lot of contestants who sound equally good, so how do viewers at home make a judgement on who to pick? So Auto-Tune has been used to make good singers sound even better and not so good singers sound much worse. Obviously that would result in a much more entertaining show where some singers sounded hilariously bad, constantly missing notes, and others were amazingly polished.' The source admitted that the programme makers were fully aware of the issues surrounding the apparent enhancements, adding: 'We all thought it wasn't right to use that kind of equipment on a talent contest as it gave viewers a misleading view of the singers' ability. It was a bit of a con.' However, X Factor's executive producer Richard Holloway, said: 'I can assure you we have never made bad singers worse or that Auto-Tune has ever been used on our live shows. Anything that would affect the public vote, we wouldn't do.' ITV has so far received more than three hundred complaints about the vocal editing on Saturday's show.

Suranne Jones has described David Tennant as 'humble and charismatic.' Jones stars alongside Tennant in new drama Single Father and explained that she loved working with him. 'Obviously Doctor Who was massive so I was really excited about meeting David,' she told the Radio Times. 'He's the funniest, most charismatic, intelligent, humble actor.' Jones also revealed details of the show, saying: '[Tennant] plays Dave, recently widowed and struggling to bring up his children, while I play his widow's best friend. We're brought together by grief, and emotions get complicated. What I love about the drama is that it asks: how would you react in that situation? It's wonderfully grown-up and it feels authentic.' Single Father is expected to air on BBC1 in October.

Gail Porter has admitted that she doesn't know whether she will be a part of ITV's new morning show Daybreak. Porter currently works as a reporter on GMTV but told the Daily Telegraph that she has not heard anything about appearing on its replacement. 'Nobody knows anything,' she said. 'They haven't said if we will have jobs, no-one is talking contracts, nothing.' ITV has previously claimed that former ONE Show duo Adrian Chiles and Christine Bleakley will be at 'the heart' of the show, while Lorraine Kelly's slot will be rebranded as Daybreak Lorraine.

Susan Penhaligon has criticised the lack of television roles for older women. The actress, who appeared in the original 1970s version of Bouquet Of Barbed Wire, told the Radio Times that she has decided to focus on starring in plays instead of fighting for jobs on the small screen. What a pity she never had anything to say on this subject back in the 1970s when she wasn't short of work. 'Thankfully I love theatre, as TV really doesn't want older actresses,' she said. 'Twenty well-known actresses are chasing about four good parts a year, not counting Holby City and the soaps. Equity ran a campaign about just this.' Penhaligon added that she has struggled to break away from her role as Prue on Bouquet Of Barbed Wire. 'The problem with Bouquet is that the old photos of me in the series, usually in hot pants, are always printed,' she explained. 'I understand why, but it doesn't help me as an actress now, in 2010, just as I am growing into the older, character parts, to be trapped in Seventies aspic. In fact, it's a hindrance.' Tragically, yer Keith Telly Topping couldn't find a single picture of Susan wearing hot pants to illustrate this story, despite looking really hard and despite her claims that there were plenty of examples out there. So, this'll have to do instead. A remake of Bouquet Of Barbed Wire, starring Imogen Poots as Prue, will air on ITV later this year.

Natalie Cassidy has criticised Denise Van Outen for returning to work so soon after the birth of her child. Cassidy, who is currently pregnant for the first time with fiancé Adam Cottrell, said in New magazine that she does not understand the logic of Van Outen's decision. She said: 'Denise van Outen went back to work after two weeks because she said she needed to feel normal again. I just think, "What have you had a child for? Having a child should be your job." I'm very old-fashioned. It's my mum coming out in me.'

Television advertising is still considered the most memorable form of marketing, even though the majority of viewers skip through commercials when watching recorded content, a study has found. The survey of four thousand one hundred and ninety nine UK adults by YouGov for consultancy Deloitte, found that fifty two per cent rank TV advertising campaigns as the most effective, followed by ten per cent who said adverts in newspapers and just two per cent for online commercials. TV adverts were found to have the greatest impact on people aged eighteen to thirty four, while those aged fifty five or over stated that 'no form of advertising had a great impact on them. What television does best – display and brand building - is what online struggles with. However, despite the positive perception of television advertising, its bed of roses is not free of mildew,' said Deloitte media partner James Bates. The research showed that eighty six per cent of those questioned skip through the adverts when watching content on their digital video recorder. Furthermore, only thirteen per cent 'always or almost always' watch the entire advertising break during live TV and eleven per cent never sit through these commercials. Bates said: 'Among television advertising’s greatest preoccupations is measurability. While television generates billions of commercial impacts every day, it is hard to measure precisely how many of these are viewed.' The full results of the Deloitte study will be released to delegates at the MediaGuardian Edinburgh international television festival on Friday.

Something remarkable is happening to the ratings of Live From Studio Five - they've almost trebled since Ian Wright got the tin-tack. From a pathetic low of one hundred and thirty nine thousand on 5 August, they scaled the heights of three hundred thousand on Monday of this week. Still dreadful, of course, let's not get carried away with any misapprehension that they're anything even approaching average, let alone good. But they're a vast improvement on the risible Wright-era.

Cereal manufacturers Nestlé and Kellogg's have lost their challenge against an edition of Dispatches that they claim unfairly portrayed them as targeting children with unhealthy foods. The companies both lodged complaints with Ofcom over Blakeway Productions' programme, What's In Your Breakfast?, which mentioned them and their products by name. They argued that Channel 4 had alleged that they were misleading the public over the healthiness of their cereals. Jane Moore's investigation, which Channel 4 aired last October, demonstrated that it was possible to make a chocolate cake with less salt and sugar than some of the leading breakfast cereals and questioned the way they marketed products to children. In its defence, C4 said it chose not to dwell on one company's products and used publicly available information on each company mentioned. Neither company directly contributed to the programme and Channel 4 argued that it had no requirement to do so as it made no specific allegation about any of them that would require a right to reply. Yet neither of them was happy with this response. Kellogg's in particular got a right chimney on and alleged that a member of the production team had called them about their rights as a contributor and claimed there were no preconceptions about the editorial line – four days ahead of Channel 4 posting programme information that referred to breakfast in the UK being 'far from healthy' and the ability of manufacturers to 'stay ahead of the regulators.' The company also claimed that a statement it provided for broadcast was rejected on the grounds that it was 'verbose and self-serving.' In its fifty seven page report on its rulings, Ofcom posts extensive arguments between Channel 4 and the manufacturers, with the broadcaster rejecting claims that the comparisons of different food products were spurious and accusing them of spin in their complaint that focusing on sugar and salt ignored other factors such as fat and energy. Ofcom also rejected a complaint of unfair treatment from Professor Tom Saunders, a professor of nutrition and dietetics and a member of the approval panel at cholesterol charity HEART UK, who was interviewed for the documentary.

The BBC has confirmed plans to show Rugby League's Carnegie Challenge Cup Final next weekend in high definition for the first time. On 28 August at 2.30pm, coverage of Challenge Cup holders Warrington Wolves taking on Super League champions Leeds Rhinos at Wembley will be aired on BBC HD, as well as BBC1. Claire Balding will present the coverage, alongside studio guests Brian Noble and Justin Morgan. Match commentary will come from Dave Woods and Jonathan Davies, while Tanya Arnold, Damien Johnson and Robbie Paul will provide pitch-side reports. 'The Challenge Cup Final between Leeds and Warrington will be an epic contest featuring two giants of the game and with the final being shown live in HD for the first time on the BBC, viewers around the country will be able to see Rugby League in its finest glory,' said BBC Sport editor Carl Hicks. 'The Challenge Cup Final is one of the crown jewels in the BBC Sport schedule and we will be covering the match comprehensively across all of our platforms with over a million fans tuning in to one of sport's must see events in the calendar.' Pre-match coverage of the final will begin at 1.30pm on the Red Button, which will also offer post match discussion from the Rugby League forum for thirty minutes after the game ends.

Ofcom has censured Virgin 1's The Naked Office for featuring inappropriate content before the watershed - but over bad language rather than nudity. The Shine North-produced show, which explores how staff could benefit from going to work naked, breached Ofcom's rule 1.14 by not bleeping out an offensive word in an 8pm slot, before the watershed. The offensive language was used following one staff member's decision to have their buttocks cast in plaster before telling a colleague, 'if you fucking rip it off, it kills you.' Living TV apologised for the mistake which it blamed on human error and said the person in question had been disciplined. Which, hopefully, they'll film and show every Christmas. Ofcom accepted the broadcaster's apology, along with its move to make sure the word is removed during any future airing of the show and noted its 'usual compliancy robustness.'

Researchers are poring over thousands of back copies of the Radio Times to put together a list of every BBC programme ever broadcast. It is part of a bid to create a complete online broadcast history of the corporation dating back to its foundation in 1922. In many cases the Radio Times information is all that remains of the programmes, with many being either broadcast live or recorded but wiped after they were broadcast. It was not until the 1970s that moves were made to preserve recordings for posterity. Project manager Helen Papadopoulos said the Radio Times was 'an ideal place to begin.' Writing on a BBC blog, she said: 'It contains a record of everything we intended to broadcast - even if what actually went on air wasn't what we planned to show - and it is in a structure and format that people readily recognise, with basic but consistent details for all programmes, along with regional variations.' Next month work will start on putting information from around four hundred thousand pages of the magazine online. Papadopoulos said: 'In less than a year we expect the Radio Times digitisation project to be completed and for the first time there will be, in one place, a comprehensive record of every programme.'

Self-styled 'fashion gurus' Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine are to remake their most recent makeover format for Australian audiences. Because, nobody in Britain can stand the snooty pair.

Celebrity MasterChef got its just desserts on Friday, with the final serving up its second highest audience of the series. And, various other food-based puns into the bargain. Lisa Faulkner's victory over Dick Strawbridge was savoured by an average audience of 5.79m on BBC1 over the 9pm hour, according to overnight figures. It was a ratings victory for the cookery competition series, which only scored higher with Thursday night's penultimate instalment, which had an audience of 6.19m. MasterChef flambéed its rivals and served them a plate of rice, covered with a sticky jeux. A repeat of Doc Martin on ITV was watched by 3.37m in the 9pm slot, while Big Brother highlights had an audience of 2.95m at the same time and a further one hundred and twenty thousand an hour later on C4+1. Also at 9pm, the BBC2 archive series Home Movie Roadshow had 1.44m viewers while Channel 5's The Mentalist thrilled 1.23m.

Meanwhile, on Monday The ONE Show continued to perform well in the ratings, a week after its relaunch. The magazine programme was watched by 4.29m on BBC1 from 7pm, down only two hundred and fifty thousand week-on-week. Later on BBC1, the edition of Who Do You Think You Are? featuring comedian and actor Alexander Armstrong averaged 5.8m from 9pm. The programme comfortably beat Real Crime With Mark Austin, after the factual show pulled in just 2.52m on ITV in the 9pm hour.

Johnny Vegas has revealed that he is pleased with the success of Ideal. Speaking to the Radio Times, Vegas explained that the comedy doesn't receive a lot of attention. 'We feel like we have to fight a lot to get noticed,' he said. 'And yet we do, and we have this really loyal following. It's lovely coming away, after six series, and genuinely thinking this is the best one yet.' Vegas also admitted that he can relate to his character Moz, saying: 'If I weren't doing the job that I do - that I enjoy so much - I could definitely fall into his pattern of behaviour: be a layabout, wait for life to happen. I immediately understood him.'

BBC3's recent Adult Season has proved a huge hit with sixteen to thirty four year olds with more watching the season and the channel than ever before. BBC3 continues to be the most watched digital channel for sixteen to thirty four year olds for the hours it broadcasts - and has grown its share of young audiences by fifty eight per cent since Danny Cohen began as Controller just over three years ago. The Adult Season has just ended and ran over four weeks with a range of documentaries and entertainment shows looking at what it is like to be a young adult in Britain today. Online, BBC3 hosted a debate where young people shared their personal experiences of what it means to become an 'adult.' I'm sorry but I can never take the phrase 'young adult' seriously after The Young Ones so brilliantly parodied it in their 'youf TV' spoof, Nozzin' Around. Danny Cohen said: 'The record-breaking audience response to the Adult Season is testament to the quality of the programmes being made for BBC3 by a wonderful range of producers and directors. Their programmes have really connected with young audiences – as we've also been able to see from the fantastic online response to the Season.' Small Teen, Big World was the most watched documentary ever on BBC3 with an audience of 1.2million for its first transmission. The show followed the lives of Jazz, a teenager with an undiagnosed form of dwarfism and her mum, Bev, who has the same condition. The debate and impact of the film was immediate: on the night of transmission there were over sixty pages of comments about the documentary on Twitter.

John Lennon's toilet and one of his rarest LPs will be among the highlights of an auction of Beatles memorabilia next weekend. A mono copy of Two Virgins, which he recorded with Yoko Ono, is expected to fetch at least two thousand five hundred. When the avant garde LP was released in November 1968 it was notable for being sold in brown paper bags because the sleeve controversially featured a full-frontal naked picture of the couple on the cover. Although a limited release of five thousand stereo versions of the LP were available in shops, fans had to write to the record label, Apple, to purchase a mono copy. The exact number of mono copies sold is not known, but auction organisers say it is likely to be 'a couple of hundred.' The sale, part of the thirty third annual Beatles convention in Liverpool, is attracting record levels of interest. Bids are also being invited for Lennon's toilet from Tittenhurst Park, his Berkshire home between 1969 and 1972 in which the alcoholic wife-beating Scouse junkie used to occasionally shat his bowels. Lennon told a builder, John Hancock, to keep the porcelain lavatory and 'use it as a plant pot' after he had installed a new one in 1971. It was stored in a shed at Hancock's home for forty years until he died recently. The toilet is estimated to fetch between seven hundred and a thousand pounds. The auction organiser, Stephen Bailey, said: 'The toilet might be worth something, and it might not, but it is certainly one of the more unusual items we've sold.'

Ten years worth of Charlie Brooker's critique on Big Brother have been collated by the Gruniad Morning Star. I particularly enjoyed King Charlie's take on the 2007 Celebrity Big Brother racism row. 'At the time of writing, Jade, Jo and Danielle - collectively, the world's thickest coven - are relentlessly haranguing blameless Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty over an endless series of imaginary crimes, thereby prompting over two hundred viewers to complain to Ofcom about alleged racism in the show. I don't think they're racist, just unbelievably dumb. They're motivated by an intense, aching jealousy they're simply too stupid to process. After all, Shilpa is twenty times more successful than any of them, not to mention four hundred times more beautiful. When you're a go-nowhere tit-flasher, a washed-up singer or a famous dunce, that's bound to rankle, especially since Shetty's also more intelligent, dignified, patient and likable than you could ever, ever be.' What he said!

Comedians have been causing chaos on the BBC News Channel in the wake of the 'best joke of the Fringe' award. First of all recipient Tim Vine exposed the sham of the Edinburgh backdrop used in the studio, by peeling it back to show an alternative night time scene used for evening broadcasts. Later, Brendon Burns stormed out of an interview after expressing mock outrage at the result. He told presenter Huw Edwards: 'I'm outraged! It's an absolute disgrace. The city's burning to the ground in disgust – to take out artform and whittle it down to a trite soundbite of ambiguous wordplay. This just disgusts me.' He then blatantly plugged his own show and his book, before being asked what he thought of Vine's winning joke. 'Pun-slinging tosspot, that's what he is,' he raged. 'You should be embarrassed to even speak to me.' Then, after playing with a phone on the desk in front of him, he said: 'Enough said. I’m off.' Edwards replied with: 'Oh Brendon, I was going to say "come back," but you know what, I'm not going to bother.' Textbook professional response to somebody being an arsehole live on the national news, I'd've said! Earlier, Vine exposed the backdrop of the BBC's Edinburgh studio, which shows the city's skyline, whilst live on-air. He said: 'Edinburgh doesn't look enough like Edinburgh, so we have a picture.' He was being interviewed by the charmless Emily Maitlis about winning the accolade for his one-liner: 'I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.' Burns later clarified that he was only joking about Vine, saying: 'I actually think Tim is brilliant.'

The number of adults visiting libraries in England has fallen steadily over the last five years, a government report has revealed. In 2005, 16.4 per cent of adults people attended their local library once a month. New research indicates that the figure had dropped to 12.8 per cent last year. However, children's visits remained steady during the five-year period. The figures were published in a report commissioned by the Department for Culture, Media and Sports. Overall, 39.4 per cent of adults surveyed said they had visited a public library at least once in the last year, compared with 48.2 per cent in 2005. The number of weekly library goers in England has gone down by thirty two per cent in five years. More than sixty per cent have not stepped foot inside a library in the last year. Visits by children aged eleven to fifteen remained static over the five-year period. Records for children aged five to eleven only began in 2008, and showed an insignificant decline, from 75.3 per cent to 74.9 per cent. This year's survey questioned fewer people than in previous years, but the results are still representative of the general population. Meanwhile, Culture Minister Ed Vaizey has announced plans to help the library service take a more central role within local communities. Ten submissions have been chosen from proposals put forward by local authorities. 'A strong library service, based around the needs of local people, can play a key role in our ambitions to build the Big Society by providing safe and inclusive spaces for people to read, learn and access a range of community services,' Mr Vaizey said. He said he wants people to think 'imaginatively about where libraries could be' as there are a number of closures being threatened across the UK. A pub in the Yorkshire Dales is currently being used as a library after the villagers of Hudswell bought it to save it from closing. The books are from North Yorkshire County Council but the lending is run by the volunteers. Other suggestions that are about to be trialled in parts of the country are to have library services in supermarkets, shops or run by volunteers. In Doncaster three libraries have been earmarked for closure and five are under threat in Lewisham. Tim Coates, who is a library campaigner and consultant, said: 'I believe we will lose between six hundred to a one thousand libraries in the next twelve to eighteen months and that may be only the beginning, we are seeing the destruction of the public library service.'

Josie Gibson has been announced as the winner of the final Big Brother. As if anybody's actually bothered by now. She will now spend another fortnight in the house with Preston, Chantelle, John McCririck and Nasty Nick Bateman. Which, I reckon is punishment enough for anyone no matter what crimes against humanity, or entertainment, that they've committed.

Andy Kershaw is to return to BBC Radio3 in the autumn for a new world music series linked to the BBC1 programme Human Planet. The DJ - who returns to the airwaves after a three-year gap due to some well-publicised personal problems - will present Music Planet, which Radio3 describes as its 'most significant and ambitious world music project ever.' Joined by co-host Lucy Duran, Kershaw will travel to the same locations as in the Human Planet anthropological series, which focuses on man's ingenuity as a species. Music Planet will showcase the distinct music from destinations such as Switzerland, Peru, Madagascar, Kenya, Greenland, Mali and the Solomon Islands. Highlights of the series will include voices of the shamans of Mongolia and Greenland's 'katajja', a contest between two women that involves throat singing and animal cry imitating. In a statement, Kershaw said: 'I am thrilled to be back on Radio3 working again with a team of bright, imaginative, enthusiastic people who also happen to be dear friends. Nowhere on Earth is safe again from my attentions. So far, we have, literally, hacked through mountain jungles to bring Music Planet listeners extraordinary music from some of the world's most isolated locations. And I cheerily risked incineration at a rocket festival in Thailand to take our Radio3 audience into the fiery thick of the action.' He added: 'I have been even to Switzerland, the last country in which I expected to find myself. And, if listeners thought that yodelling was valuable only as a device to evict stragglers at the end of a party, or as a sure-fire way to secure an international novelty hit in 1956, the music we recorded in the Alps will - like so much to be heard in Music Planet - shatter such preconceptions and, simultaneously, delight and exhilarate.' Music Planet producer James Parkin said: 'What makes Music Planet so exciting for me is that one minute you're listening to Cambodian hip-hop, and the next Swiss yodelling recorded in the Alps. And this is the music that people are making right now, all over the world, recorded especially for Radio3.' Human Planet and Music Planet will be broadcast in the autumn on BBC1 and BBC Radio3 respectively. Kershaw has not worked for the BBC since 2007 due to major upheavals in his private life, which led to him being jailed in 2008 for breaking a restraining order that prevented him from seeing Juliette Banner, the mother of his two children.

Sinking In This Silence

We begin today's blog entry with a short query. Just how will the Daily Express try to spin the Don't Stop Believing finale's piss-poor ratings? Eight hundred and forty two thousand viewers for 'the show everyone's talking about ... but, nobody's actually watching.' Something along those lines, perhaps?

In just about the worst-kept 'secret' in TV, the identity of Top Gear driver The Stig may have been revealed. The Sun are one of several papers to report that documents have emerged linking Formula Three driver Ben Collins to the helmeted character. Papers issued by his company, Collins Autosport, allegedly show that Collins signed up to the show in 2003, the same year that the current white-clad Stig made his first appearance. The contract apparently states that 'driving services were also provided for the BBC, mainly in the Top Gear programme.' Collins was previously rumoured to be The Stig last year, although a later report suggested that the job is actually taken on by up to four different drivers depending on availability and the locations where segments are to be filmed. The BBC is currently involved in a legal dispute with The Stig, whoever he is, over the driver's plans to release an autobiography in which his identity would be unveiled. Accounts for Collins Autosport Ltd from 2003, the year the present Stig first got behind the wheel, describe it as 'a cornerstone year.' They say the company, which relies 'on the driving services of Ben Collins,' benefited from his track success. They state: 'In addition, driving services were also provided for the BBC, mainly in the Top Gear programme which promotes Ben's driving reputation and offers good long-term prospects for continuing income.' Collins, described on his website as 'an endurance racing specialist,' is also a leading stunt driver for various film and television companies and appeared on-screen in the last Bond film Quantum Of Solace. Collins, was first rumoured to be The Stig when reports last year said that a builder working at his house had found The Stig's trademark white suit and gloves on display in a cabinet and promptly run straight to tabloid to grass him up.

In related news Publisher HarperCollins has announced that they are in a legal dispute with the BBC over the book that will reveal the identity of The Stig. According to BBC News website both sides appeared in London's High Court on Monday after the BBC confirmed it was trying to halt publication. They said that publication of the book would breach contractual and confidentiality obligations. HarperCollins declined to give any official comment. The publisher did, however, attack the corporation for using licence fee cash on legal moves to block the book. Oh, that's classy - playing the 'concerned licence fee payer' card - I'll bet the Daily Scum Mail and Gruniad Morning Star just love that. Of course, it is worth remembering at this point that HarperCollins is a part of the NewsCorp group and, as a consequence, ultimately owned by Rupert Murdoch. So, no obvious and wretchedly sinister lice-scum agenda going down there, then. Oh no, perish the very thought. A BBC spokesman said: 'This situation has come about as a result of an attempt by an external party to profit from unauthorised use of the Top Gear brand, one of the BBC's biggest and most watched shows in the UK around the world. It is also worth stating that the overwhelming majority of Top Gear's viewers tell us they want The Stig's identity to remain under wraps as it is a key part of their enjoyment of the show.' So, anyway, what's the betting that there'll be a - let's say red - coloured Stig taking over the wheel of the reasonably priced car come the next series.

Jack Duckworth's last words in Coronation Street will reportedly see him ask the ghost of his wife, Vera, if it is hot where she is now. The Daily Star Sunday reports that Bill Tarmey has recently filmed his final scenes for the ITV soap. He announced in April that he was quitting the role after three decades. It was previously claimed that 'bosses' (tabloid shorthand for 'producers' only with less syllables) planned to have the spirit of his deceased wife Vera (Liz Dawn) appear. Which would, technically, make Corrie into a Telefantasy show, even if only for one episode! Well, it worked for Bergerac. The report suggests that Dawn has agreed to return for the one-off appearance. 'Liz has already agreed and will be back on set in the coming weeks,' a 'source' allegedly told the paper. 'They always had the comedy element as a couple and the scriptwriters get the balance just right.' They added: 'Vera will try to persuade Jack to join her and reassure him he'll be okay.' Viewers will apparently see Jack ask his wife: 'Is the place where you are now hot?' A Corrie 'insider' - possibly different from the 'source' although the paper is rather vague on this matter - said that the 'heartbreaking' scenes had 'left cast and crew fighting back tears. There are people who have been working on the show for more than forty years who have never seen anything like it,' the 'insider' said. Allegedly. 'The scenes of Jack coming to terms with his illness and accepting that he is going to die soon have left even the hardest of us with a lump in our throats.' The 'source' added: 'Bill is playing the scenes brilliantly. But there was no way the bosses would let Jack die without one last scene with Vera.'

Details of Janeane Garofalo's role in Criminal Minds: Suspect Behaviour have been released. The former West Wing and 24 star signed up for the spin-off earlier this year. TV Guide claims that Garofalo will play a character called Beth Griffith in the show, which focuses on a team of agents in the FBI's Behavioural Analysis Unit. Beth, who is described as strong-willed and outspoken, joins the team from the FBI Threat Assessment Task Force. Cooper (Forest Whitaker) specifically asks for her despite her reputation as a difficult colleague.

Ofcom has cleared ITV over the 'unfortunate error' which led to viewers on ITV HD missing England's opening goal at the World Cup. On 12 June, over a million viewers were left 'outraged' when ITV HD switched to a Hyundai advert and then a blank screen just as Steven Gerrard scored in the fourth minute against the USA. The fifteen million viewers on normal ITV were unaffected and, as consequence, found the whole thing bloody hilarious. Despite receiving eight hundred and twenty three complaints about the incident, media regulator Ofcom has opted against imposing sanctions on ITV over what was deemed an 'unfortunate' mistake. ITV said that it 'deeply regretted' the incident, which was caused by 'human error' in the master control room operated by its transmission provider, Technicolor. The human who erred has now, reportedly, been terminated. With extreme prejudice. The broadcaster said that a 'take-next' switch had been 'inadvertently activated which led to the next scheduled item, a Hyundai sponsorship bumper, being transmitted prematurely.' In response, ITV has hired external consultants to run an operational review within Technicolor to introduce extra precautions against such an incident occurring again. Despite accepting that the error was 'inopportune and regrettable,' ITV expressed its belief that the situation only affected a minority of the game's total audience, as over ninety per cent of viewers were watching in standard definition on ITV. After reviewing the situation, Ofcom acknowledged the frustration of ITV HD viewers at the transmission break, but decided that ITV's actions to resolve the situation had been sufficient. 'The inclusion of an unscheduled break at a crucial point of the game was understandably disruptive and we appreciate the frustrations of many viewers who complained to Ofcom,' said the watchdog. 'Ofcom notes ITV's acknowledgement of this error and that during half-time coverage of the match, an apology was broadcast to viewers by presenter, Adrian Chiles. Ofcom is also aware that following the match, both ITV and Technicolor apologised for the incident. Ofcom accepts that the incident was an unfortunate error and ITV made no commercial gain from it. We note the operational review ITV is carrying out and the immediate action taken both by ITV and Technicolor, including specific measures to avoid this type of incident recurring. In view of this, we consider the matter, on this occasion, to be resolved.'

Sky Sports News has left Freeview and become exclusively available on pay-TV platforms, including the launch of its new Sky-exclusive high definition channel. From Monday, Sky Sports News has been replaced on digital terrestrial television with Sky3 +1, which offers an hour time shift of the already available Sky3 channel. Sky Sports News will now only be available on Sky, Virgin Media and TalkTalk TV, along with Sky's online and mobile platforms. Sky customers taking any Sports Pack - like yer Keith Telly Topping - or the News & Events Pack will be unaffected by the switch. All other Sky TV customers will receive Sky Sports News as a six-month bonus channel until 23 February 2011 after which they will be cruelly deprived of their daily dose of Georgie Thompson. Under the changes, Sky Sports News HD has also launched exclusively on Sky channel 455. Available to all Sky+ HD customers, the channel offers sharper picture quality and HD highlights in a new widescreen format. For the launch of Sky Sports News HD, a raft of new programmes has been commissioned, including First, Fast And Now running a daily sports news round-up every morning from 10am to 1pm. The news broadcaster has also hired more reporters, presenters and production staff to provide deeper coverage of the big stories in sport. Also today, Sky Sports News has launched a dedicated iPad application offering 'breaking news, views and opinion from the world of sport.' The app also hosts live streaming of Sky Sports News Radio, a brand new service broadcasting rolling sports news coverage. The radio service is also available online from the Sky Sports website. The launch of Sky Sports News HD is part of Sky's strategy to give its new and existing subscribers additional premium sports content in the face of strong competition from BT, which now offers Sky Sports 1 and 2 on its BT Vision service.

Neil Gaiman has posted a deleted scene from his Doctor Who script online. The brief preview, cut from the final draft of his forthcoming episode, features the Doctor and Amy investigating a mysterious bowl of food. 'The Doctor has just been given a bowl of something to eat,' wrote Gaiman on his blog. 'Something possibly alien.' The writer also revealed that the tenth draft of the script was rewritten by showrunner Steven Moffat. Gaiman said: 'Steven came to my rescue when I felt like I couldn't even pick it up again, and for that, he is a hero.' He added: 'It hasn't really changed that much. It just gets tighter and, I hope, more like itself.' He explained that the episode is now nearing the production stage, with a table read through 'about ten days away.'

Miranda Hart has admitted that she is still shocked at the success of her BBC2 sitcom. The comedy actress is currently writing the second series of Miranda after the BBC recommissioned the show following its first six-episode run. 'I might fall over, I can reveal that exclusively!' she told What's On TV of the new block of episodes. 'We're filming in October, and I feel a lot of pressure, because I can't believe how well it went down. I'm still in shock!' Hart went on to explain the inspiration behind the series and admitted that it had been a risk. 'I always hark back to the '70s, Eric Morecambe would be my complete hero,' she said. 'Seeing him looking to camera and doing something silly with his glasses, I remember thinking how I would love to do that one day.' She added: 'I want to bring that light entertainment into a contemporary sitcom, although it was risky to do it in 2010 when it feels so old-fashioned.'

David Mitchell and Robert Webb have revealed that they have started filming new episodes of Peep Show. The double act announced that they had started the seventh series on their Twitter pages. Webb, who plays Jeremy, posted a link to his Daily Telegraph column on Saturday, adding: 'Last column before seven weeks off to make Peep Show. Will try to do updates i.e. "just did another scene," "am tired" etc.' Meanwhile, Mitchell updated his followers this morning, saying: 'Peep Show series seven shoot starts today. I don't want anyone to get over-excited but this morning I think we're filming in a KFC!'

The mother of James Bulger has criticised the ITV drama Law & Order: UK for featuring a storyline involving the murder of a young child. The Sun reports that an episode of the programme's third series will show two young girls kidnapping and killing a young boy. Bulger's mother Denise Fergus said: 'It's virtually a direct copycat of what happened to James. I'm certain they knew it would rub salt in the wounds for me and my family.' She added that she was 'appalled and disgusted' by the plot, calling it 'shock-value' drama. However, an ITV spokesperson denied that the episode was inspired by Bulger's murder. They insisted that the story was 'based loosely' on the case of Mary Bell, the ten-year-old Newcastle schoolgirl who killed two toddlers in 1968. The programme features CCTV footage of two girls aged thirteen and ten leading a young boy by the hand, before strangling him to death and leaving their initials on his chest. DS Ronnie Brooks, played by Bradley Walsh, sees the film and says: 'Please don't tell me this is what I think it is.'

Syfy has ordered the ninety-minute pilot Three Inches from writer Harley Peyton it was announced yesterday. The action-adventure-fantasy will be produced by FOX Television Studios and Executive Producer Bob Cooper, whose Landscape Entertainment is producing. Peyton also serves as executive producer. In Three Inches, professional daydreamer and underachiever, Walter, is struck by lightning, and develops a unique super power — the ability to move any object using just his mind. But only a distance of three inches. So, not that 'super' you might think. He's soon recruited by a covert team of superheroes each gifted with their own extraordinarily ordinary abilities. Together, the unlikely band of heroes proves that 'super' is simply a state of mind. 'Three Inches is a fun, smart, off-beat spin on the superhero genre. It introduces a new group of crime fighters who possess some imaginative – if not all that super – powers,' said Stern. 'We look forward to working with Harley, Bob, and FOX Television Studios on this project.' Peyton was producer and/or writer of more than twenty episodes of Twin Peaks, for which he received an Emmy nomination for Outstanding Writing for Drama Series (1990). He also wrote the screenplay for Less Than Zero based on the novel by Bret Easton Ellis. He is currently working on a follow up to the feature film The Thomas Crown Affair. And, the most exciting thing about this project is the casting of James Marsters as Troy, the leader of the team. Yep, I think I might watch that one.

Channel 4 has been criticised for developing a new reality series about physical deformities. Beauty And The Beast will see an 'attractive person' and someone with 'different types of disfigurement' share a house together, the Daily Telegraph reports. The home will allegedly be filled with mirrors to highlight the difference between the participants' appearances, while the duo will be followed as they go on trips in London. The programme's producers described the show as 'an immersive lifestyle experience that uncovers attitudes to looks and beauty,' and not in the least bit a dubious freak show. Oh no, definitely not that. Of course, MediaWatch director and gobshite Vivienne Pattinson criticised the concept. She ranted some bollocks or other but, frankly, this blogger is getting rather tired of giving the oxygen of publicity this woman - elected by no one - who, as far as I can work out, speaks for herself and about ten other nutters but nobody else that actually matters. The programme's production manager, Nadia Afiari, defended the concept, saying: 'The show is looking at society's thoughts towards beauty and how we're driven by beauty, and as part of it we're looking at disfigured people in society and how they cope on their day-to-day basis in comparison with someone who's quite obsessed with beauty.' Sounds a bit dubious to me but, to be honest, if MediaWatch are against it then, frankly, I'm for it. On general principle. A spokesperson for Channel 4 added: 'It is part of our remit to tackle difficult and often marginalised issues and open these up to a mainstream audience and debate. The series aims to challenge people's narrow definition of beauty in a frank and engaging format and will be key to our public service offering next year.' Filming for the six-part series is expected to begin next month, while the show is currently scheduled to air in 2011.

Viewers are reported to have criticised The X Factor for its production work on acts' vocals. Viewers quickly picked up on the use of vocal effects on performers from Saturday's launch show, including Zimbabwe-born Gammu, duo G&S and Shirlena Johnson. Fans reportedly 'filled the Internet' accusing the show's producers of 'deceiving' the public by using techniques such as auto-tune to resolve weak or poorly pitched vocals. Representatives for the reality series have denied that auto-tune was used, but did admit that alterations had been made during the production process to ensure 'an entertaining experience' for viewers. An official show spokesperson told the Gruniad Morning Star: 'The judges make their decisions at the audition stage based on what they hear on the day, live in the arena. The footage and sound is then edited and dubbed into a finished programme, to deliver the most entertaining experience possible for viewers.' Meanwhile, an 'inside source' told the Mirror: 'Auto-tune is not used in the live shows but purely for the audition phase. It has always been part of the show for pre-recorded items. Whether people are more savvy to auto-tuning now than they have been, we're not sure. Every contestant is treated in the same way, if they have a dreadful voice, they still have a dreadful voice.' X Factor bosses have admitted using what they describe as 'vocal enhancement processes' on the ITV talent show.

Hermione Norris has admitted that she worried about leaving [Spooks]. Norris's character Ros was killed off at the end of the last series but the actress has now explained that she didn't know whether she would land any more television roles. 'It wasn't easy because Ros may well be the most favourite character I've ever played,' she told the Daily Telegraph. 'And being so physical on that show was just great fun. But you have to take a leap of faith, and I knew I had to stop her before she stopped me.' However, Norris revealed that she enjoyed her new role in ITV's remake of Bouquet Of Barbed Wire. 'By the end, everyone has slept with somebody else and yet it doesn't seem salacious or gratuitous, just rather heartbreaking,' she said. 'It's a drama about people and humanity and how those who are hurt go on to hurt others. You watch a family imploding and disintegrating and everything just breaking apart.'

John Glover will return to Smallville for the show's tenth and final season. Entertainment Weekly reports that the actor will reprise his role of Lionel Luthor for multiple episodes. The character was seemingly killed off in the season seven episode Descent. However, Glover will now appear in at least two new episodes, both scheduled to air in November. Other past Smallville regulars expected to return for the final season include John Schneider (Jonathan Kent), Laura Vandervoort (Supergirl) and James Marsters (Brainiac). Last month, the series' lead Tom Welling also claimed that Glover's on-screen son Michael Rosenbaum was considering returning to the series.

Fern Britton has been ditched as the face of Ryvita with the firm trying to make its advertising 'relevant' according to press reports. The presenter’s six-year association with the crispbread maker has looked an awkward fit since she admitted she had a gastric band to aid weight loss. Ryvita executives hired a new advertising agency to revamp the image of the low-fat snacks and they opted to drop Fern. The former queen of daytime TV was forced to reveal in 2008 that she secretly had the stomach band fitted two years earlier. She told This Morning viewers live on air: 'There are some things a girl likes to keep to herself.' It helped her lose five stone and drop from a size sixteen to a size twelve. Or fourteen, depending on which paper you read. But the admission caused great embarrassment because she had been advocating natural weight loss and was the face and body of Ryvita for two hundred thousand pounds per year. The company stood by Fern and insisted that despite the band, the main cause of her slimming was 'healthy eating and exercise.' But now Ryvita have admitted: 'We met her and her agent and decided it's better all round that we go separate ways. The message she was endorsing wasn't getting across. We needed to refresh the product and take a different approach. With any advertising campaign we need to ensure people take note of it. It's not that people were switching off, it's that they weren't switching on. We needed to adapt our advertising to make it relevant for each generation.'

A twenty one-year-old woman with a fear of bananas has been diagnosed as suffering from Bananaphobia. Expect the movie in a cinema near you within six months. Fran Dando is so scared of the fruit that even seeing one causes her to shake, sweat and sometimes vomit. Yeah, I'm a bit like that with broccoli myself. I didn't know there was a name for it. 'It began when I was seven and my brother put a banana in my bed as a joke,' Metro quotes her as saying. 'I felt his horrible, slimy thing underneath my body.' Are you sure this was a banana, love? 'I was frozen in panic and hyperventilating. Ever since then, if I see one the same feeling comes back,' she added. The children's worker admitted that she is embarrassed by the fear. 'I generally do not explain my fear unless a situation comes up,' she said. 'Then I will say, "Sorry I am going to have to leave the room." It is embarrassing - it is such a nonsensical fear.' Well ... phobias are like that - they're irrational but cause extreme anxiety. Don't sweat it, love, we've all got something we're terrified of. However, Dando's two-year-old son has not developed the phobia and loves bananas, which means she has to come into contact with them. 'I have to use a blanket to pick them up and put them in the trolley and then when I am at home I have to wear rubber gloves and use a tea towel to open one and give it to him,' she said.

Surfing Blind In Chaos Theory

The first episode of this year's X Factor was watched by just over eleven million viewers on Saturday night, an increase on last year's opening figure of 9.9m. The ninety-minute opener, which featured the usual mix of genuine talent, deluded hopefuls and egomaniac judging, easily beat every other terrestrial rival. At it's peak, the ITV show was watched by 11.4m, nearly a fifty per cent share of the total Saturday night TV audience. In the same slot, BBC1 variety show Tonight's The Night, which had been doing quite well for the last few weeks, pulled in a meagre 3.3m. Hospital drama Casualty, which was also scheduled against X Factor, was seen by an average audience of 3.8m, overnight figures reveal. However, ITV failed to maintain its lead, losing more than six and a half million viewers as X Factor handed over to game show Magic Numbers. John Bishop's Britain had a respectable 3.68m at 9pm, Live At The Apollo 3.64m at 9.30pm, and Match of the Day pulled in 4.01m at 10.30pm. Overall, ITV beat BBC1 in prime time for the first time since June, with twenty eight per cent to eighteen per cent. Now in its seventh series, The X Factor has had to recruit a series of guest judges as Dannii Minogue was on maternity leave during early stages of filming. Saturday's auditionees were evaluated by former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell, alongside regular judges Simon Cowell, Cheryl Cole and Louis Walsh. The show opened with Glaswegian Stephen Hunter, who surprised the panel with his camp dance moves and unexpectedly soulful vocals on a version of The Trammps' 'Disco Inferno.' Other highlights included eighteen-year-old student Gamu Nhengu, whose interpretation of 'Walking On Sunshine' defied Cowell's expectations. A trio named Jahm who met online and believed themselves to be the next N-Dubz, were less successful, however. In fact, they were shit. Their mauling of Lady Gaga's 'Bad Romance' was met with a stunned silence from the judges and the audience alike.

Simon Pegg, meanwhile, is one of a number of people with more time on their hands than they know what to do with, who've shared their thoughts on The X Factor over the weekend. The Shaun of the Dead actor told his Twitter followers that Saturday's act G&S should have stood for 'Good & Shit.' He said: 'I only caught a bit of X Factor but I very much enjoyed the story of the double act G-ood and S-hit. Who writes the scripts?'

Torchwood star John Barrowman held a huge clear-out garage sale at his house over the weekend. The Glasgow-born actor was selling clothes and a clutch of memorabilia. He was even flogging off his blue Peugeot 407 outside his house near Cardiff in Wales. Barrowman made sure he got rid of a blue England football T-shirt by giving it away. One fan said: 'It was amazing. He was happy to have a cup of tea and joke with everyone. There were some great bargains too. You could buy his clothes, a Torchwood doll, and he was even selling his wetsuit.' But fans have no need to fear the forty three-year-old is going to leave the area, as earlier this year he said he loves living in Wales as the people 'are so generous.' The main reason for the sale, Barrowman said, is that he is expecting to be out of the country for most of the next few months filming the nest series of Torchwood.

Coronation Street star Antony Cotton has claimed that there is 'no big bad feeling' among the cast about the upcoming tram crash. The actor, who plays Sean Tully in the ITV soap, admitted that he is confident he won't be killed off because he recently signed a new contract. He told OK! magazine: 'The show changes all the time and tongues are wagging but ultimately we're used to it as new producers come in every couple of years. There's no big bad feeling - the majority are excited about the new stories and feel it's a breath of fresh air. Still, it's easy for me to say as I've signed a new contract.' It is known that several major characters will be killed off later this year when a tram crashes into the street as part of the show's fiftieth birthday celebrations.

Linus Roache has revealed that his father, Corrie star Bill Roache, is an inspiration to him. The actor, who joins Coronation Street next week as Ken Barlow's long-lost son, added that fans approach his father everywhere he goes. Speaking to the Sunday Mirror, he said: 'We went for a walk together the other day and these young girls were saying, "Oh, we love Bill Roache, we've always had a thing for him." And they weren't joking, it was for real. 'Dad is an inspiration to me. I don't like talking about his age, but he's seventy eight, which is unbelievable and I literally cannot relate to him like that. He's full of vitality and extremely healthy. He's a sex symbol, for God's sake. I hardly ever get recognised in this country, it's just my dad - and it even happens in New York. We went to the top of the Empire State Building and someone went, "Ooh, look, it's Ken Barlow over there." It was worse when I was younger. I remember once he was judging a beauty contest on the Isle of Man in a big open-air swimming pool that had been emptied out. There were literally thousands of people there and as we arrived and got out of the car, suddenly hordes of people swarmed forward trying to get through the barricades screaming, "Bill! Bill!" I was seven years old and holding his hand, and I remember thinking it was like he was one of The Beatles.'

The draft scripts for The Beatles' films A Hard Day's Night and Help! have been donated to the British Film Institute by director Richard Lester. Simply titled The Beatles and Beatles Two, they form part of Lester's archive, which is all going to the BFI. The treasures include correspondence from Hollywood stars Audrey Hepburn, Raquel Welch and Charlton Heston. The archive also contains a 'begging letter' from Spike Milligan, who offers to do laundry in exchange for a job. The comic, who rose to fame on The Goon Show, wrote to Lester in 1980, saying he was bored with television and 'no matter how small I would like a part, preferably the lead.' Milligan, who died in 2002, reminded the director he had previously worked as a 'straight actor,' adding: 'Have own beard and wig, on site laundry done and secret masses said for Polish Catholics.' In fact, it was Lester's association with Milligan that had launched his film career. He was instrumental in adapting radio comedy programme The Goon Show for television, in the 1956 series The Idiot Weekly, Price 2d. That led to further work with Milligan and fellow Goon Peter Sellers - including a short film, The Running Jumping And Standing Still Film, which caught the eye of The Beatles. Lester's success with the Fab Four made him a mainstay of the Swinging '60s scene. Bawdy sex comedy The Knack... And How To Get It exemplified the era, and went on to win the Palme d'Or at the Cannes Film Festival. The director later found box office success in Hollywood, directing Christopher Reeve in Superman and Oliver Reed in The Three Muskateers. The American-born filmmaker, now seventy eight, said he had decided to donate his archive to the BFI because of 'a long association' going back over forty years. 'The organisation has always been very helpful to me,' he said. 'It is a pleasure for me to be able to offer them the detritus of my working life.'

Comedian Tim Vine has won a prize for the funniest joke of this year's Edinburgh Fringe. The comedian, who won the Perrier newcomer award in 1995, was presented with his latest prize by digital TV channel Dave. His winning one-liner was: 'I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.' Heh! The award was judged by eight comedy critics, whose shortlist of twenty four jokes went forward to a public vote.

Jamie Oliver has won an Emmy Award for his US television series Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. The six-part series, which attempted to change the eating habits of America's so-called fattest town, won the Outstanding Reality Programme award at the Creative Arts Emmy ceremony. Oliver later tweeted: 'I can't believe we won the Emmy for Food Revolution!' No, me neither, pal. Then again, I always did wonder about the Americans' taste in such matters.

Abbey Clancy has reportedly been offered a full-time style slot on This Morning. The model had been presenting a regular fashion item on the show, which was due to last all summer, but she cancelled her most recent appearance after claims that fiancé Peter Crouch had cheated on her. According to the Daily Star Sunday, Clancy will take a four-week break from the programme, before returning to front a permanent fashion feature. A source said: 'Everyone thought Abbey did a fantastic job. She's a style icon to many women and she obviously knows her stuff. She's very natural in front of the cameras. It'll be a major coup if we get her but the bosses are pulling out all the stops.'

Did you know, dear blog reader, that at school, Jason Manford was the singer in an indie band called Panic. Their biggest gig was when he was fifteen at the Whalley Range Tennis & Cricket Club, where the band raised four hundred pounds for a cancer hospital.

A toilet alleged to have once belonged to Catcher In The Rye author JD Salinger has been put on eBay for one million dollars. According to the BBC, the seller claims to have acquired the 'used toilet commode' from the owners of a house that Salinger once owned. The toilet is said to be 'uncleaned and in its original condition.' Ew! 'Who knows how many of [his] stories were thought up and written while Salinger sat on this throne!' the listing adds. The item comes with a letter from the owners of the house in Cornish, New Hampshire, confirming that they removed the toilet during renovations.

Olly Murs's twin brother, Ben Murs-Hart, has claimed that The X Factor has ruined their relationship. Talking to the News of the World, Murs-Hart admitted that he hasn't spoken to the singer since he missed his wedding for the semi-final of The X Factor last year. He also suggested that fame has changed his brother. Speaking of his wedding, he said: 'Something was missing and that was Olly. It's clear people like Simon Cowell are more important to him than me. He's a self-absorbed sell-out. Our family was torn apart because of The X Factor. Things have got to the point where if I have children, I don't even want Olly to meet them. I watch my brother - the same person I shared a womb with - on TV now and it's like I don't even know who he is. I understand why Olly wasn't at the wedding. It clashed with the X Factor semi-final and singing has been his dream for years. But what hurt was that he never even told me himself he wasn't going to be able to be my best man. I kept reading how Olly had said he was "gutted" he couldn't make it, but when the wedding came I had my mobile in my pocket all day hoping he would call or even text to say "good luck" or "congratulations." I never heard from him. It was heartbreaking.'