Wednesday, March 06, 2013

Horrifying!

Jenna-Louise Coleman her very self has revealed the inspiration behind her performance as Clara (or is it Avocado) in Doctor Who. The actress told SFX that she watched the films of Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy to get a handle on the dynamic between her character and The Doctor. 'When I started on Doctor Who, Matt said to me, "Watch Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy films!" - we were talking about our dynamic and trying to figure it out, realising we were a double act,' she explained. 'It's trying to find each other's rhythm. So watching things like Spencer Tracy films really fed into that.' Coleman claimed that the relationship between 'impossible girl' Clara and Smudger's Time Lord is 'like a dance. Matt always said it's about physically finding our rhythm,' she continued. 'In a way the whole thing is like a dance, and the moment we started dancing together and finding that rhythm is when it worked.'

ITV's horribly presented, miserably one-sided and amusingly deflated-at-the-end live coverage of The Scum being knocked out of the Champions League by yer actual Real Madrid, after an - allegedly - controversial red card left sour-faced Scotsman Sir Alex Ferguson raging, raving and discombobulated, attracted an average of nearly ten million viewers on Tuesday night. Hopefully, they all enjoyed it as much as yer actual Keith Telly Topping did - especially Mad Roy Keane shouting down odious greed bucket (and drag) Adrian Chiles and co over whether it was a red card or not. It was the most-watched Champions League match on ITV since the 2008 final in which The Scum beat Russian side Moscow Chelski FC on penalties. That, rather dour and one-paced final of five years ago, had a live match average of 11.1 million viewers with a five-minute peak of 14.6 million during the penalty shoot-out. Full coverage of The Scum's 2-1 defeat in the last sixteen tie, which saw the Old Trafford side exit 3-2 on aggregate, had an average of nine million viewers between 7.30pm and 10pm. The game had a five-minute peak of 10.96 million viewers, averaging 9.8 million viewers during the course of the match itself, which kicked-off at 7.45pm. Tuesday's hotly anticipated tie between two of the world's biggest football clubs outscored the live match average of 8.2 million viewers (and 10.6 million peak) which watched Moscow Chelski FC's penalty shoot-out win over Barcelona in the final of last year's Champions League on 19 May. Despite the big audience, ITV bosses will be bemoaning the exit of yet another English side from the Champions League with only The Arse left in this year's competition. Their run is unlikely to last much longer, with the North London side facing a 3-1 first leg deficit and an away tie at Bayern Munchen next Wednesday – which will be broadcast live on Sky Sports. There was better news for BBC1's crime drama Mayday, which suffered a big (and, for once it was was big) drop in audience for Monday night's second episode, shown opposite Broadchurch. Tuesday night's third episode was watched by 4.3 million viewers identical to the audience who watched on Monday. But it was still a long way down on the 6.2 million who tuned in to Sunday night's opener. The drama, which is being shown on five consecutive nights on BBC1, will finish on Thursday. Mayday was up against the return of Channel Four's Sixteen Kids and Counting, about some of the UK's biggest families, which had 2.4 million viewers between 9pm and 10pm. The Matt Lucas Awards returned for a second series to BBC1 with 1.87 million viewers between 10.35pm and 11.05pm. It was down twenty per cent on the channel's slot average over the last three months. It was also shite. That was followed by a repeat of the BBC3 alleged comedy Cuckoo, which began a repeat run on BBC1 with nine hundred and eighty three thousand viewers. Bluestone Forty Two, BBC3's new comedy drama about a bomb disposal unit in Afghanistan, began with just a smidgen under eight hundred thousand viewers between 10pm and 10.30pm, up thirty seven per cent on the channel's slot average.

There's a rather affable interview with yer actual Peter Davison in the Independent this week mainly concerning Doctor Who but with a few questions about Law & Order: UK thrown in to keep it vaguely interesting to non-fans.
Arthur Darvill his very self has said he has no regrets about leaving Doctor Who - even though it means he won't be part of the popular long-running family SF drama's fiftieth anniversary episode this year. The Time Lord returns to our screens at Easter, but Arty said that rather than feeling like he is missing out by not being involved any more, he is 'quite excited about watching it and seeing what they've come up with.' He told The Huffinton Post: 'Doctor Who is going to follow me around forever. I think once you're involved with something like that, you're involved for the rest of your life.' Playing Rory has brought him recognition from all corners of the globe, not least Hollywood. 'I'd really love to work there,' Arthur admitted. 'I've received some interesting scripts from America recently. I'd like to do maybe a couple of episodes of something or a film, but I think I'll always come back. London really feels like home.' Arthur said that he was 'open to ideas' when it came to his future career. 'I'm kind of up for anything,' he noted. 'I enjoy what I do and I want to be doing it for a very long time. I get excited by things that are a challenge for me, and I've been very lucky over the last few years to do a range. But, I'm ambitious and I want to do lots of different things.' In his latest role, as a vicar in the new ITV drama Broadchurch, he is part of a star-studded cast, including fellow Doctor Who luminaries Olivia Colman, David Tennant and David Bradley. Olivia appeared in Arthur's very first episode of Doctor Who, and he said: 'It was really good to work with her again, we get on really well.' As for Tennant: 'Working with David was just great. He's brilliant actually. He's very different in this. I think he'll impress.'

Suzi Perry, Allan McNish and Tom Clarkson have all signed up to the BBC's team for coverage of the 2013 Formula 1 season. Former MotoGP presenter and The Gadget Show host Perry takes over as BBC F1 lead anchor from Jake Humphrey, who has left the corporation to join BT Sport. Eddie Jordan remains with the BBC as chief analyst, and Ben Edwards once again leads the television commentary with ex-F1 driver David Coulthard. Lee McKenzie heads the pit lane team for television, but she will now be backed by F1 journalist Tom Clarkson, who joins the BBC as a pit lane reporter. Gary Anderson returns as technical analyst across television, radio and online coverage. On 5Live, James Allen will once more act as correspondent and commentator, with Jennie Gow as pit lane reporter. Former F1 driver Allan McNish will appear on 5Live for at least six Grands Prix this season as an expert analyst, starting in Barcelona. There will be approximately forty extra hours of live Formula 1 coverage on BBC network television this year, with practice sessions to be shown live at weekends on BBC2 and the new BBC2 HD channel. BBC1 and BBC1 HD will show nine live races in 2013 - including Canada, Spain, Britain and Brazil - along with extended highlights of the races shown exclusively live on Sky. 'Everyone on the BBC team is hugely excited about the new season,' said Ben Gallop, the BBC's Head of Formula 1. 'Last year saw us rise to the challenge of bringing the action to fans through the mix of live television and highlights, delivering great programmes which were reflected in impressive audience figures.' He added: '2013 sees new faces, practice on BBC2 and HD on live race weekends and a greater sharing of talent across BBC television, radio and online. With Suzi Perry at the helm, we're aiming to bring even more content, insight and access to audiences throughout the season.' Alongside TV and radio, the BBC is also offering extensive online coverage of F1 via the BBC Sport website and apps. Web users can access live simulcasts of the BBC's live races, including additional options such as the 'driver tracker', on-board cameras and the pit lane stream. Motorsport legend Murray Walker will provide a series of archive-based videos for every race of the season under the Murray's Memories strand.

A winner of The Apprentice was just an 'overpaid lackey' at Lord Alan Sugar-Sweetie's firm, a tribunal heard. Stella English won the BBC show in 2010 and got a job in Sugar-Sweetie's division of IT firm Viglen. However, she told the East London Employment Tribunal Service she had 'no choice' but to resign after being told her contract was not being renewed. English, who earned one hundred thousand smackers-a-year, claims constructive dismissal, saying she had 'no real role' at the firm. She told the hearing that she did not feel like Lord Sugar-Sweetie's 'apprentice', and only saw him five times during her thirteen-month employment. Colleagues did not take English seriously, and she was 'ostracised' after being told she had 'taken another woman's job,' she claimed. She said that she told Sugar-Sweetie: 'I have tried so hard for so long and it's not working. I'm an overpaid lackey at Viglen. My pride would not allow me to continue doing it.' English said: 'No specific duties were allocated to me. I was provided with a desk and a phone but that was pretty much it.' She described her employment as 'a sham.' She told the tribunal that after e-mailing Sugar-Sweetie asking to 'discuss her concerns', her boss Bordan Tkachuk was also invited to the meeting. When Lord Sugar-Sweetie asked Tkachuk what he thought of English, he replied: 'Nice girl. Don't do a lot.' Before competing in the TV show in 2010, English was head of business management at a Japanese bank. She beat Chris Bates in the final of series six, broadcast in December 2010. English said: 'The career-enhancing opportunities that The Apprentice position had been sold as simply failed to materialise.' The hearing continues.

A - very naughty - car thief has been caught and charged after she was spotted on The X Factor. Paige Flaherty auditioned for the 2011 series of the ITV talent show as part of an unsuccessful girlband, Twisted, but a pedestrian whom she hit and bruised with a stolen pink Mini in Newcastle saw her appearance on the TV show and immediately called police. The vehicle belonged to Flaherty's Twisted bandmate Katie Orrock. Though unconfirmed to be the same car, Twisted can be seen getting out of a pink Mini during the episode which was shown on 10 September 2011. Flaherty's incident with the pedestrian happened a couple of weeks earlier on 29 August. Flaherty gave the pedestrian incorrect contact details, reports the Daily Scum Mail. The singer pleaded extremely guilty at South Tyneside Magistrates' Court to stealing a vehicle and driving with no insurance.
A planned TV comedy starring Robert Webb - if that isn't a contradiction in terms - has been cancelled following a row between the writer and ITV executives. David Renwick accused ITV of 'meddling too much' in his idea for a series about a young man living with his mother-in-law after the death of his father. Renwick – who created One Foot In The Grave and Jonathan Creek – walked off the show, called Ergo, after he had written all six hour-long episodes. Which, in and of itself is probably funnier than anything that would, likely, have happened in the six episodes had they been made. He complained that commissioners had become 'too prescriptive' in telling writers what they wanted, as ITV admitted they had 'different views' on what the show should be. Renwick told the trade magazine Broadcast: 'There were interesting possibilities, but ITV came unstuck. They wanted to concentrate more on the old father and the back-story. I believe audiences relate to the characters they see on screen and I didn't want too many flashback elements.' Or, in other words, the TV company which was preparing to give Renwick a lot of money to make the show asked him for a few changes and, instead of doing what most writers would be happy to do, and working with them, he threw a wobbler and stormed off in a huff. How very adult. He said that 'called the bluff' of ITV executives, saying he would be happy to sell them the script so someone else could take over. Instead director of television Peter Fincham decided to pull the series completely. Which, again, is hilariously funny. If you're going to call someone's bluff and they, then, call yours, that's irony. He added: 'It was very frustrating. But I decided to move on.' Webb - the unfunny one out of Mitchell and Webb - was lined-up to play the son, and Sheridan Smith under consideration for the mother-in-law. An ITV spokeswoman said: 'ITV were keen to work with David Renwick on Ergo but when it became clear that we had different views on the direction of the series we agreed to part company.'

The BBC has announced details of two dramas which will dramatise the Great Train Robbery from the perspective of its perpetrators and their pursuers. The first, A Robber's Tale, stars the Welsh actor Luke Evans as Bruce Reynolds, the key planner of the infamous 1963 heist, who died last month at the age of eighty one. The second, A Copper's Tale, will focus on the team of detectives assembled to bring the robbers to justice. Line of Duty star Martin Compston will play one of the great train robbers in the first drama marking the fiftieth anniversary of the Royal Mail heist. Compston will star as getaway driver Roy James alongside Evans (previously best known for roles in Tamara Drewe and The Three Musketeers). Julian Jarrold and James Strong will direct the two ninety-minute programmes. Neil Maskell, from the recent British thriller Kill List and Channel Four drama Utopia, will play Buster Edwards, the robber previously portrayed by balding old Tory hasbeen Phil Collins in the thoroughly wretched 1988 film Buster. Ronnie Biggs will be portrayed by Jack Gordon. The casting for the second drama is yet to be announced. The two-parter follows Mrs Biggs, a - not all that good - ITV series which viewed the robbery and its aftermath from the perspective of Biggs's wife, Charmian. Earlier this month, Sheridan Smith was nominated for a best actress prize by the Royal Television Society for playing the title role. A Robber's Tale will begin with Reynolds' earlier planning and execution of a robbery at Heathrow Airport the preceding year. Also appearing in the drama will be Jack Roth, Del Synnott and Paul Anderson. Doctor Who and Broadchurch's Chris Chibnall, the writer and executive producer of both the films, said that the events of August 1963 had 'passed into modern folklore. How fantastic that such a magnificent bunch of talented young stars have come together for our first film, to tell how one gang planned - and almost got away with - the British Crime of the Century.' Filming begins this month on the films, which will be screened on BBC1 later this year to mark the fiftieth anniversary of the raid. The gang targeted a mail train from Glasgow as it came through Buckinghamshire and escaped with a then-record haul of £2.6m - equivalent to around forty million smackers in today's money. Of the gang of approximately twenty individuals involved, fifteen were given loads of jail (including Reynolds and Edwards who had, initially, fled abroad with their naughty and ill-gotten gains); two of the gangs - Charlie Wilson and, most famously, Ronnie Biggs - hopped over the wall after their incarceration and spent time on the run. In Biggs' case, a very long time indeed. Three of the gang - a shadowy 'inside-man' known only as The Ulsterman, an - apparently incompetent - replacement train driver, 'Old Pete' and - another rather useless - chap called 'Mark the Dustman' who was supposed to clean up the robbers' hideout at Leatherside Farm after they'd left but made such a rotten job of it that he left their dabs all over the gaff, were never caught.
A former senior City of London police officer has been arrested on suspicion of passing information to journalists without payment, the police watchdog has said. The former officer, a fifty two-year-old man, was held at his home in South-West London on Tuesday. The Independent Police Complaints Commission, which carried out the arrest, said there was 'no indication' that the former officer received any money in exchange for the alleged leak. He is one of four former or serving officers arrested over the alleged passing of information to the media, where no money was involved. The IPCC said Tuesday's arrest was prompted by evidence gathered during the investigation into another City of London officer, who was held and released on bail in June last year. The watchdog said the arrest also followed further evidence obtained by Scotland Yard's Operation Elveden, the investigation into alleged payments from journalists to police and other public officials. The IPCC added in a statement: 'He was arrested at his home in London and is being questioned by IPCC investigators at a police station nearby. Investigators have conducted a search of his home and have seized a number of items.' The name and rank of the man, who the IPCC described as a 'former senior City of London police officer,' was not disclosed. His arrest comes shortly after that of Chief Superintendent Andy Rowell, the borough commander in Ealing who was arrested by the Metropolitan police in February over the suspected release of confidential information without alleged payment. The IPCC has launched two independent investigations into alleged misconduct by police officers, linked to Operation Elveden. On Tuesday, the watchdog said it had received eighteen individual referrals from the Metropolitan police and other forces in relation to alleged misconduct by officers.

A US judge has ruled a legal claim by Michael Jackson's mother and children against concert promoter AEG Live over the singer's death can go to trial. Jackson's family claim AEG negligently hired and supervised physician Doctor Conrad Murray, who was convicted of involuntary manslaughter last November. They also claim the company 'pushed' Murray into disregarding medical warnings in order to ready the singer for fifty comeback concerts in London. The trial is due to start on 2 April. It will centre on AEG's responsibility of Murray, who was sentenced up to four years in prison for prescribing and administering the drug that killed Jackson. The singer died on 25 June 2009, weeks before his first show. AEG claim Murray was not under its supervision and was working directly for Jackson, who had developed an addiction to strong pain medicine. Katherine Jackson and the singer's eldest son Prince, sixteen, are likely to take the witness stand during the trial to refute the promoter's claim. Court documents show the family's lawyers will refer to a supposed 'smoking gun' e-mail from the co-chief executive of AEG, which said: 'We want to remind [Murray] that it is AEG, not MJ, who is paying his salary. We want to remind him what is expected of him.' The multi-billion dollar lawsuit argues the background check into Murray was a botched job and overlooked his significant debts, which would have made him more likely to succumb to financial pressure. However when tour director Kenny Ortega wrote an e-mail to AEG asking for 'professional guidance' in order to deal with Jackson's 'weakened and troubled state,' company president Randy Phillips replied saying: 'This doctor is extremely successful (we check everyone out) and does not need this gig so he is totally unbiased and ethical.' In her ruling, Los Angeles County Court judge Yvette Palazuelos said from previous tour experiences with the singer, AEG employees would have been been aware that his 'tour doctors' had given him controlled substances. She said: 'There is a triable issue of fact as to whether it was foreseeable that a physician under strong financial pressure [might] compromise his Hippocratic oath and do what was known by AEG Live's executives to be an unfortunate practice in the entertainment industry.' Jacko's family are suing for financial compensation estimated at eight billion dollars - the amount the singer would have earned from the shows had he not died - which is more than the value of AEG's entire company. The Jacksons' lawyer Kevin Boyle told CNN: 'The truth about what happened to Michael, which AEG has tried to keep hidden from the public since the day Michael died, is finally emerging. We look forward to the trial where the rest of the story will come to light.'

John Oliver is to replace Jon Stewart presenting The Daily Show for two months. The British comic will take over the Comedy Central slot while Stewart directs his first feature film. Standing in on the hit show for eight weeks will further boost Oliver's already growing profile in the States, where he moved in 2006 to take up a job as a correspondent on the show. Since then he has hosted three series of his own stand-up show and appeared on the sitcom Community and in the Mike Myers film The Love Guru. Stewart is taking a sabbatical to make Rosewater, a film about Canadian-Iranian journalist Maziar Bahari, who spent one hundred and eighteen days in jail after the Tehran regime accused him of spying. He was arrested shortly after being interviewed by The Daily Show correspondent Jason Jones in 2009. He made a televised confession, which he said was made under duress, and later wrote a book about his ordeal called Then They Came For Me. Stewart – who has hosted The Daily Show for fifteen years – has written the script and is also producing the movie.

Spare a thought, dear blog reader, for dear old Roy Hudd his very self, erstwhile star of Radio 2's The News Huddlines who is simply dying for a decent role on TV. 'Last year, I thought I'd cracked it when I had a terrific part in Call The Midwife,' Roy told the Torygraph. 'Sadly, my character died before the titles went up. I also died in the next four TV parts that I was offered. A fifth offer came in. I asked, "Do I die in this one?"' Yes, it turned out, he did. So Roy turned that one down too. Later it transpired in fact his character didn't shuffle off this mortal coil, but the role had already gone to someone else.

Sour-faced dour old Scotsman and Mister Silly, Sir Alex Ferguson was 'too distraught' to face the media after The Scum's - hilarious - Champions League exit against Real Madrid at Old Trafford on Tuesday night. Ferguson was visibly enraged after Turkish referee Cuneyt Cakir sent off Nani for a high challenge on Real's Alvaro Arbeloa after fifty six minutes with United leading through Sergio Ramos's own goal. Indeed, his face was so red he looked like Bad Manners singer Buster Bloodvessel choking on a cough sweet. It was, dear blog reader, a sight to see. Real took advantage of the dismissal with quick goals from Luka Modric and Cristiano Ronaldo on his return to Old Trafford to confirm a 2-1 win on the night and 3-2 aggregate victory to reach the last eight. The Scum's assistant manager, Mike Phelan, replaced Ferguson at the post-match media conference and said: 'It's a distraught dressing room and a distraught manager. That's why I am sitting here now. I don't think the manager is in any fit state to talk to the referee about the decision. It speaks volumes that I am sitting here now rather than the manager of this fantastic football club.' Phelan continued: 'We are extremely disappointed and wondering what has happened and why it has happened. We feel as though we had the tactics right for the game on such a big occasion. We felt we were comfortable at 0-0. It was where we wanted to be, then we scored the goal that put us in a commanding position. We were in reasonable control and then the game totally changed. The decision was amazing but we had to carry on because it is hard enough playing Real Madrid with eleven men. Referees are there to make decisions but there is also an element of doing the right thing. All the media and a television audience watching all over the world will have an opinion on the decision but it was a disappointing one and it spoiled the game.'

Sam Mendes, director of the latest Bond film Skyfall, has revealed that he will not direct the next in the series. He told Empire magazine that it was 'a very difficult decision.' The director, who is currently working on a stage production of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, says his current work needs his 'complete focus over the next year and beyond.' But he added he had not ruled out the possibility of returning to the 007 franchise in the future. 'I feel very honoured to have been part of the Bond family,' said Mendes, 'and very much hope I have a chance to work with them again.' The Oscar-winning director picked up the outstanding British film award, for Bond's twenty third outing, alongside producers Michael G Wilson and Barbara Broccoli at this year's BAFTAs. 'It has been a very difficult decision not to accept Michael and Barbara's very generous offer to direct the next Bond movie,' explained Mendes. 'Directing Skyfall was one of the best experiences of my professional life.' There had been doubts about whether the director would make a second Bond film after he described Skyfall as 'completely exhausting. I felt like everything I wanted to do with a Bond movie, I put into this film,' he was quoted as saying last year. Wilson and Broccoli said in a statement that they hope to work with the director again in the future, adding they 'completely respect his decision to focus on other projects.' Screenwriters Neal Purvis and Robert Wade, who have worked on five instalments of the series, have also revealed they are quitting the franchise. Speaking during an appearance at the Doha Tribeca Film Festival in November 2012, Wade said that screenwriter John Logan had been working with Mendes on a follow-up to Skyfall. Speaking to the BBC News website this week, Logan said the script was 'coming together very well' but would not be drawn into revealing any details. Skyfall became the highest-grossing movie in UK box office history in December. To date, the film has earned £102.8m in the UK and Ireland.

For today's Keith Telly Topping's 45 of the Day, here's something that's almost as scary as Alex Ferguson with a lip-on. And, I don't mean Whispering Bon Harris either.

Tuesday, March 05, 2013

Always Looking To Create A Scene

Matt Smith his very self has said that kissing his co-star, Jenna-Louise Coleman, was his favourite Doctor Who moment. And, why not? The actor kissed his on-screen companion in the 2012 Christmas special, The Snowmen, and seemed to enjoy it a great dea'. He added that he and Coleman share a passion ... for cartoons. 'My favourite moment? I like our kiss, that was quite fun, even though it was hell to do,' he is quoted as saying in a US magazine. Ah, it's a dirty job, Smudge, but someone's got to do it. 'We actually did a couple of different versions - there might be some outtakes.' He added: 'We have bonded over cartoons. I constantly watch The Simpsons and an English cartoon called The Racoons & Gummi Bears. I was obsessed with ninja films, and the Teenage Mutant Nina Turtles, I used to love that as well.' Yer actual Smudger also spoke of his love for New York, stating that he would enjoy filming more episodes in the city. He said: 'If I could, we'd film every episode of Doctor Who in New York. I have an affinity with the city. It has some wonderful locations and it is devastatingly vast and huge. Central Park looks amazing on camera. We didn't realise how big it was until we filmed there, but the fans have been so supportive. The British are a lot more reserved, and the North Americans have a lot more enthusiasm. I love it when people dress up as The Doctor and Amy. I like all that – that is the spirit of the place and there is a freedom to be enthusiastic there, which is hugely enjoyable. That is what's great about working in science fiction shows.' Speaking about playing The Doctor, he added: 'I won't get many jobs like this, and I'm aware of that. I love playing The Doctor. And I won't get many jobs where the fans are so much into the show. It makes me feel alive. It's a once-in-a-lifetime experience and to be part of a show that evokes these responses from people is cool.'
ITV's new, and much-anticipated, crime drama Broadchurch was the big ratings winner on Monday night, overnight figures show. Former national heart-throb David Tennant and Olivia Colman's eagerly-awaited eight-part series - written by Chris Chibnall and also starring Vicky McClure, Arthur Darvill and Pauline Quirke - launched with over six million punters in the 9pm slot. Just over 6.15 million tuned-in for the opening episode of the thriller, filmed in West Bay in Bridport, with an extra seven hundred thousand punters catching the episode later on ITV+1. BBC1's similarly themed abduction drama Mayday dropped almost two million viewers from the previous night's opening episode to 4.3 million in the same time slot. Coincidentally, both dramas are made by Kudos, previously responsible for [spooks], Hustle and Life on Mars. Earlier, the one thousandth episode of A Question of Sport was watched by 4.18 million crushed victims of society on BBC1 at 8.30pm. On BBC2, University Challenge had a steady audience of 2.78 million at 8pm as the very impressive UCL team made it to the semi-finals at the expense of Manchester University, while Food and Drink was consumed by 1.97 million at 8.30pm. The Flying Scotsman: A Rail Romance pulled in a respectable 1.79 million in the competitive 9pm slot.
BBC1's science show Bang Goes the Theory, featuring former Tomorrow's World presenter Maggie Philbin, returned with four million viewers between 7.30pm and 8pm. It was in the toughest of slots, up against ITV's Coronation Street, watched by 9.4 million. The soap returned at 8.30pm for a second helping with 8.7 million viewers. Channel Four's Embarrassing Bodies was watched by 1.57 million at 9pm. Meanwhile, Channel Five picked up eight hundred and fifty three thousand punters for Robson Green's Extreme Fishing Challenge at 9pm, while Manchester United: The Munich Air Crash was watched by eight hundred and fifty six thousand at 10pm. Adrian Edmondson returned to ITV with the first of a thirty-part - yes, that's thirty part - travelogue Ade in Britain, watched by 1.1 million viewers, down twenty four per cent on the slot average over the last three months. So, twenty nine more weeks to put up with that one, then. Horrorshow.

Wondering what The Ice Warriors will look like when they return to Doctor Who next month, dear blog reader? Well, of course you are. Yer actual Keith Telly Topping his very self certainly is. This photo - given to SFX magazine by the show's production team - has been released this week giving us something of a clue. The Martians will feature in the - as yet untitled - third episode of the forthcoming run of eight episodes, which has been written by Mark Gatiss and is scheduled to be shown on BBC1 on Saturday 13 April, co-starring David Warner and Liam Cunningham. Showrunner Steven Moffat recently praised Gatiss's script, calling it 'an absolute cracker' with some 'really stormingly good ideas. It was Mark Gatiss's idea,' said Moffat. 'He'd been pitching [their return] for a while.'
As he and some of his crew pushed a ninety two thousand smackers electric sports car off the Top Gear test track in the autumn of 2008, little did yer actual Jezza Clarkson his very self realise that the incident would be the topic of much - utterly pointless - legal argument for, literally, years to come. Or, that it would provide us all with such a spectacularly, thigh-slappingly hilarious outcome. That episode of the popular BBC2 show (first broadcast in December 2008) has been examined, repeatedly, by some of Britain's most senior media judges in a three-year libel battle brought by the whinging US car maker, Tesla, who seemingly didn't like the fact that yer man Clarkson gave their car a bad review. Ah, overly-litigious Americans! You can always rely on them for a right good laugh. On 19 October 2011, the High Court in London rejected Tesla's libel claim, stating, among other things, that Top Gear is an entertainment programme and not an information programme, which is sort of true but spectacularly misses the point with regard to expressing an opinion on an items worth - or lack of it - in a free society. This week, the court of appeal signalled the end of the road for Tesla's some may argue trivial-to-the-point-of-obscenity legal claims, rejecting - outright - on Tuesday the company's continued assertion that its reputation had, in some way, been 'damaged' by Clarkson's less-than-impressed review of the Tesla Roadster. Sadly, the judges didn't make the observation that it can't have been much of a reputation in the first place if it only took one bad review on a British TV show to, allegedly, shag it up so disastrously. Perhaps, they didn't need to make the point, Telsa having already done that for them with their continued foot-stamping through several levels of the British legal system. Jezza, let's remember, had described the car back in 2008 as 'an astonishing technical achievement,' but added: 'It's just a shame that, in the real world, it doesn't seem to work.' A perfectly valid review for a motoring journalist to make about an electric car, one might argue. And, the court agreed, rejecting the Californian-based company's appeal of an earlier decision to strike out its - frankly, ludicrous - 'libel and malicious falsehood' claimed against the BBC. Tesla claimed that Top Gear 'faked' a scene that appeared to show a Tesla Roadster running out of power, which - Tesla suggested - had 'led to lower sales.' Appeal court judge Lord Justice Moore-Bick said that he had watched the whole of the one-hour Top Gear episode 'a number of times.' In his view, the judge explained, the programme did not libel Tesla or anything even remotely like it. Tesla complained about a passage of Clarkson's commentary in which he said: 'Although Tesla say it will do two hundred miles, we worked out that on our track it would run out after just fifty five miles and if it does run out, it is not a quick job to charge it up again.' Clarkson and several members of the Top Gear crew were then shown pushing the Roadster into the hanger - although, importantly, and despite several agenda-soaked media claims to the contrary, at no time did Clarkson, or anyone else for that matter, say that the car had run out. That, in and of itself, was the source of an earlier claim by Telsa, which was also, satisfyingly, thrown out of court. Moore-Bick questioned whether Top Gear's influence among petrolheads was quite as great as Tesla had claimed. The electric car maker alleged that the scene cost it the 'sale of two hundred Roadsters', caused 'costs of one hundred and seventy one thousand dollars', 'damaged investor confidence' and 'prompted adverse comments on YouTube.' Much of it, presumably, noting that the company can't take criticism of its products. Which, again, some might consider to be 'fair comment.' Comparing sales of its Roadster to a rival top-of-the-range model, Tesla claimed it had sold just seven per cent of what the Lotus Elise had sold in the UK. Could simply be, of course, that the Lotus is a better car. Bit of a wild stab in the dark, there but, hey, anything's possible in this crazy old world we live in. The company said pre-sale orders for its new Model S sedan have also been 'far lower than expected' in the UK which they attributed, entirely, to Clarkson's bad review. And, not because they had wildly over-estimated how many they would sell, of course. Oh no, perish the thought. The court of appeal was, it would seem, unconvinced by these arguments. 'In my view the case pleaded in support of the claim for special damages is, to say the least, very thin on its own terms,' said Moore-Bick, who sat alongside Lord Justice Maurice Kay and Lord Justice Rimer. He added: 'Moreover, on the basis of the material currently before the court I do not think that there is any real prospect of Tesla's being able to demonstrate at trial that it has suffered any quantifiable loss by reason of any of the actionable statements.' There was no immediate comment from yer man Clarkson – the Top Gear host is currently in Australia doing some Top Gear-related stuff. However, Andy Wilman, the executive producer of Top Gear, said: 'I am pleased that the appeal court has upheld the previous rulings and the case has been struck out. I'd also like to apologise to the judges for making them have to watch so much Top Gear!' Last month Tesla also got into a tit-for-tat online spat with New York Times writer John Broder over an unflattering review he wrote about its Model S. It is, also, to be hoped that in their judgment the appeal court judges awarded costs in their entirety to the BBC since, as a licence fee payer, I fail to see why a single penny of licence money should have to be used to defend such an unnecessary - albeit, constantly amusing - legal case.
Meanwhile, good God, what's this? Someone at the Gruniad Morning Star with something vaguely positive to say about Top Gear? Surely not? Truly, we are living in the end of days, dear blog reader.

BBC1 has, apparently, green lit a new three-episode mini-series of Jonathan Creek Alan Davies his very self has revealed. Davies announced the commissioning via Twitter, saying that filming would begin in the autumn. The fourth series of Jonathan Creek ended in 2004. Since then there have been two specials, The Grinning Man in 2009 and The Judas Tree in 2010. A new ninety-minute special, The Clue of the Savant's Thumb, was filmed last year and will be broadcast this Easter. Rik Mayall, Sarah Alexander, Joanna Lumley and Nigel Planer will all guest star in the episode. It is not known yet whether Sheridan Smith will return in the new mini-series as Joey Ross. Speaking about the future of the detective series earlier this year, Davies told the Digital Spy website: 'I don't know about more episodes, but David Renwick's got a twinkle in his eye and I think he's enjoying getting back to it. While BBC1's keen on it, maybe we'll do more.'

Yer actual Keeley Hawes and Tom Hollander his very self will star alongside David Mitchell and Robert Webb in the pair's new BBC2 comedy drama, Our Men. The new series, written by Hollander's Rev co-creator James Wood and Rupert Walters, will be set in the fictional central Asian republic of Tazbekistan (no relation). Mitchell - the whiny and annoying but, usually, quite funny one - will play the new British ambassador, with Webb - the lanky, gormless, not even remotely funny but, still, rather annoying one - his second in command. [spooks], Ashes to Ashes and Upstaris Downstairs actress Hawes, who has previously guest starred in the pair's nowhere-near-as-clever-as-it-thinks-it-is BBC2 sketch show That Mitchell and Webb Look, will play the ambassador's wife. Also starring in Our Men are Yigal Naor, Susan Lynch, Amara Karan and Shivani Ghai. Rev star Hollander will take a guest spot as minor royal-turned-trade-envoy, Prince Mark (an echo of his previous role as Edward VIII in Channel 4's William Boyd adaptation Any Human Heart). Any resemblance to actual living people - who happen to have a name something a little bit like, say, Brince Android - is, of course, entirely coincidental. It says here. Hawes previously appeared in That Mitchell and Webb Look in a sketch as Mitchell's 'dream wife.' That was, however, before he got himself married to everybody else's 'dream wife', Victoria Coren.

Incidentally, for the - literally dozens of - dear blog readers who've been stumbling into this blog over the last couple of days looking for the answer to the question 'what link do Bobby Charlton and Darcey Bussell share?' the answer is that they both have their portraits in the National Portrait Gallery. Anything else yer actual Keith Telly Topping can help you with whilst you're here? How to get from Stan Laurel to Alan Shearer in 'six degrees of separation' perhaps? (It's actually, dead easy - you can do it in two!)

TV drama The Following has generated enough of a following to get a second season, US network FOX has confirmed. Fifteen more episodes have been ordered of the series, which stars Kevin Bacon as a former FBI agent on the trail of a serial killer and his disciples. FOX executive Kevin Reilly described the programme, which is shown in the UK on the Sky Atlantic channel, as 'a high-quality, edge-of-your-seat drama. I'm delighted to have this thrill ride continue on FOX for another season.' James Purefoy co-stars in the show, described by one critic as 'one of the most violent series ever made by a commercial broadcast network.' The show was created by Kevin Williamson, writer of the Scream movies, and is executive produced by Marcos Siega, who previously worked on The Vampire Diaries and Dexter. FOX also confirmed on Monday that Zooey Deschanel sitcom New Girl, shown in the UK on Channel Four, would return for a third season. The network is expected to confirm soon that high school musical show Glee, currently on its fourth season, has also been recommissioned.
The government has again been accused of 'selling out' to newspapers in the process of establishing a new system of regulating the press following The Leveson Report. Hacked Off, the group campaigning for stricter press reforms, claimed it was 'told' by David Cameron's policy adviser, Oliver Letwin, in a meeting on Monday that the government made 'wholesale concessions' to newspapers bosses in order to get them to buy into the Conservative party's draft proposals. 'We told him that this was akin to giving a convicted man a veto on his sentence. The press had the chance to put its views to the inquiry and Leveson's recommendations took those into account. It can't be right that ministers are now prepared to let editors win in private an argument they lost in public,' said Brian Cathcart, director of Hacked Off. He and other members of the campaign group talked to Letwin and the lack of culture secretary, the vile and odious rascal Miller, but insist that the meeting was 'not part of any negotiation' for victims of press intrusion such as Kate and Gerry McCann. 'When we asked Mr Letwin to explain why his draft contained wholesale concessions to the newspaper bosses, he said these were necessary to persuade the press to participate in a regulatory system,' said Cathcart. He added that he had reminded Letwin and the Labour and Liberal Democrat representatives who were at the meeting that the Tory proposals for a regulator underpinned by a royal charter was not acceptable to these victims. 'If this plan were put into action, it would take us straight back to the conditions that made the Leveson inquiry necessary in the first place, with editors able to lie, bully and intrude with impunity. This would be an outright betrayal of all those victims who gave evidence to the inquiry,' said Cathcart. The Tories unveiled their long-awaited and weak-as-piss proposals for a new regulator last month, rejecting calls to reconsider introducing statutory underpinning for the regulator.

BBC Worldwide is reported to be 'in talks' to sell a controlling stake in travel guidebooks publisher Lonely Planet to the US billionaire Brad Kelley. The corporation's commercial arm will retain a minority stake in the publisher if the deal goes ahead, according to US media site Skift.com. BBC Worldwide – which controversially bought Lonely Planet for one hundred and thirty million smackers in two stages in 2007 and 2011 – has been exploring strategic options for the publisher, including seeking an outside investor, it emerged in December. A spokesman for BBC Worldwide said: 'We have been exploring strategic options for Lonely Planet for some time now but no deal has been done and we are not going to comment on speculation about its future.' Skift.com suggested that the deal could be announced next week, meaning the home to hundreds of revered travel titles could soon find itself on the move for only the second time in its four-decade history. Described as a 'deeply private' businessman, Kelley is reportedly worth almost two billion dollars and made his fortune selling discount cigarettes brands. He is rarely photographed in public and shies away from media interviews. Kelley now invests in cattle ranches, energy technology and construction materials and is one of the biggest landowners in America. In a rare interview with the Wall Street Journal last year, Kelley explained that there was no specific pattern to his more recent investments. 'There's never been a grand plan. Life takes you a lot of places. Every day you adjust your compass,' he said. The sale would quickly follow the departure from BBC Worldwide of chief executive John Smith, who championed the Lonely Planet brand in the face of criticism from the corporation's commercial rivals that in buying the travel publisher it had 'strayed away' from its core TV and radio operation. Tim Davie, the acting director general, is due to take up his new job as BBC Worldwide chief executive and director of global after Lord Hall joins the corporation on 2 April. Last year the BBC valued Lonely Planet at eighty five million notes, having written down its value by fifty million quid over five years. The sale price under negotiation is not known. The BBC Trust would have to approve any deal involving the sale, or part sale, of Lonely Planet – as it did with the original acquisition.

A US woman has explained how she believes God saved her from a burglar. The woman, who has not been named - and is, clearly, not mental or anything - was praying in her kitchen on 1 February when she felt somebody tugging at her hair, The Huffington Post reports. She initially thought it was her husband, but when she looked round she saw a stranger standing in the room with her. She explained that she then cried out: 'Lord, help me!' leading to the burglar falling to the ground and hitting his head on the refrigerator. Well, he does move in mysterious ways, his woodwork to perform, they reckon. The burglar fled the scene taking only a twenty dollar note with him which he had found in the kitchen. The Seattle woman decided not to involve police as she felt God had saved her already, although her husband did eventually report the burglary.
A man reportedly faked his own kidnapping after spending a fortnight away from his home in Brooklyn. Rahmell Pettway staged the crime to avoid having to explain the real reason for his two-week absence to his girlfriend. Pettway was found on the street, bound and gagged with duct tape, by a passer-by at 1.10am on Thursday morning. He told the police that he had been abducted by two men in a minivan on 19 February, reports the New York Post. Officers became suspicious of the thirty six-year-old's story when they noticed that the roll of duct tape still hung from his wrists. He eventually admitted that he had staged the crime so that his girlfriend wouldn't be angry that he had been missing for two weeks. Pettway has since been arrested for filing a false report. The real circumstances behind his two-week disappearance remain, at this time, unknown.

Which brings us to yer actual Keith Telly Toppings 45 of the Day. Here's a tasty bit of Blondie their very selves.

Monday, March 04, 2013

Can Anyone Tell Me Where The Revolution Is?

Psst. Nah, lissun. Wanna see the cover of the latest Doctor Who Magazine, dear blog reader? Of course you do, you're only human after all.
Doctor Who executive producer Caroline Skinner has said that Neil Gaiman will bring 'a new twist' to The Cybermen. Gaiman's second episode for the popular family SF drama will reintroduce the classic monsters, pitting them against Matt Smith's Doctor once again. 'One of the things that Neil was initially really excited about was being given one of the classic Doctor Who monsters and being able to bring a new twist,' Skinner told SFX. The episode - rumoured to be titled The Last Cyberman - will also see The Doctor 'in conflict with The Cybermen in a new way,' Skinner suggested. '[It's] a huge episode for Matt,' she revealed. 'It's a brilliant performance, that one. It's interesting what Neil does - he always delivers such wonderful visual sequences. But, one of his real strengths is that he gets right to the heart of the characters as well.' Warwick Davis, Tamzin Outhwaite and Jason Watkins will also appear in Gaiman's new episode, expected to be shown as the penultimate episode of Doctor Who's next series.

Some ratings news, now. BBC2's Top Gear Africa special, in which Jezza and the boys attempted to find the source of the Nile, got the better of ITV's ailing Twatting About On Ice on Sunday night for the fourth time in the last six weeks with almost six million viewers. The BBC had a good evening all round, with new BBC1 9pm drama Mayday beating ITV's Mr Selfridge and Call The Midwife sailing along serenely with more than nine million punters. The Top Gear special, the first of a two-parter to round-off the current - nineteenth - series of the popular motoring show, averaged 5.7 million viewers in the 8pm hour. This audience included 1.1 million watching the BBC HD simulcast – a huge figure for a channel that has otherwise struggled to establish itself, featuring as it does a mishmash of programming from all the corporation's TV channels other than BBC1 (which has its own dedicated HD channel). No doubt partly in recognition of this, BBC HD is to be replaced with BBC2 HD on 26 March. Top Gear had the better of ITV's All Star Family Fortunes (5.4m) and, most amusing of all, Twatting About On Ice: The Skid Off (5.3m). Earlier in the evening, the main Twatting About On Ice show averaged 6.66 million from 6.15pm, against BBC1's news broadcast (4.8m) and was, once again, well and truly spanked by Countryfile (7.1m). BBC1 took a peaktime ratings lead for the final quarter-hour of Countryfile from 7.45pm, which it held for the rest of the evening. Call The Midwife – again, by a distance, the most watched show of the day – averaged 9.15 million viewers from 8pm. From 9pm new BBC1 crime drama series Mayday – starring Sophie Okonedo, Aidan Gillen and Peter Firth and stripped every night until Thursday – launched with 6.23m viewers. Mayday was up against ITV's Mr Selfridge (5.03m, it's lowest overnight audience so far). BBC2 came out on top in the ratings battle of the fast turnaround meteor documentaries, with the Horizon special The Truth About Meteors fronted by the personable Iain Stewart averaging three million viewers in the 9pm hour. An hour earlier, Channel Four's Meteor Strike: Fireball From Space averaged two million. However, Channel Four had the better of the terrestrial movie premieres with Johnny Depp/Angelina Jolie film The Tourist (1.7m), while Channel Five applied the jump leads with Jason Statham movie Crank 2: High Voltage (eight hundred thousand).

And, moving on to final and consolidated ratings, here's the Top Twenty Five programmes week-ending 24 February 2013:-
1 Call The Midwife - Sun BBC1 - 10.26m
2 Coronation Street - Mon ITV - 10.24m
3 EastEnders - Mon BBC1 - 8.80m
4 Death In Paradise - Tues BBC1 - 7.42m
5 Emmerdale - Mon ITV - 7.35m*
6 Countryfile - Sun BBC1 - 7.15m
7 Ant and/or Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway - Sat ITV - 7.11m
8 Mr Selfridge - Sun ITV - 6.97m
9 The Brit Awards 2013 - Wed ITV - 6.88m
10 Rugby Six Nations - Sat BBC1 - 6.62m
11 Top Gear - Sun BBC2/BBC HD - 6.45m
12 Ripper Street - Sun BBC1 - 6.44m
13 Twatting About On Ice - Sun ITV - 6.12m*
14 Penguins: Spy in the Huddle - Mon BBC1 - 5.83m
15 Casualty - Sat BBC1 - 5.75m
16 Her Majesty's Prison Aylesbury - Mon ITV - 5.50m*
17 Mrs Brown's Boys - Sat BBC1 - 5.22m
18 Six O'Clock News - Tues BBC1 - 5.18m
19 UEFA Champions League Live - Tues ITV - 5.13m
20 Holby City - Tue BBC1 - 5.08m
21 The National Lottery Saturday Draws - Sat BBC1 - 5.04m
22 Ten O'Clock News - Tues BBC1 - 5.03m
23 BBC News - Sun BBC1 - 4.90m
24 The ONE Show - Tues BBc1 - 4.87m
25 ITV News - Mon ITV - 4.85m
Those programmes marked '*' do not include HD figures. The second episode of BBC4's wonderful Chivalry & Betrayal: The Hundred Years War pulled in a very impressive final audience of eight hundred and fourteen thousand. On ITV3, Lewis was watched by 1.33m.

Not Going Out is to return to BBC1 for a sixth series this April. Lee Mack, Sally Bretton and Katy Wix will all return for the new episodes, though Tim Vine will not. Wix recently told the Digital Spy website that the other cast members 'did everything' to attempt to persuade Vine to return, but said that the comic 'had his reasons' for moving on. Bobby Ball will make another appearance in the new series as Lee's trouble-making father, while other storylines will include a jealous Lee fighting for Lucy's attention when she reunites with her first love, and Lee, Lucy and Daisy getting stuck in a cable car on an Eastern European skiing trip. Not Going Out was originally cancelled after three years, but was later revived by the BBC, with a fifth and sixth series being ordered together after a fourth run attracted impressive ratings. 'The BBC could not be any more supportive of the show - the current regime,' Lee Mack said last year. 'I mean, Cheryl Taylor and Danny Cohen have totally, unashamedly gone, "We like the show - we're gonna do it", and I love that.'

Adam Hills launched an expletive-filled - but, very funny - rant about Joan Rivers on the latest episode of his Chnnael Four entertainment show The Last Leg. The Australian stand-up criticised Rivers's recent jokes on Adele, branding her an 'enormous, hypocritical, insensitive old dick.' Rivers has recently tweeted spectacularly unfunny 'jokes' about Adele's weight and mocked her size during a chat show appearance on Letterman last week. Responding to Rivers's comments, Hills said: 'How dare you make fun of one of the best female role models on the planet for the way she looks? Adele is one of the very few women in pop music I want my daughter to look up to and you're making jokes about her looks when you're so insecure about your own face that you've spent more money on it than the producers of Life of Pi made on that tiger! Get a plastic surgeon to manufacture you a new soul!' Blimey. Steady, Adam.

Ofcom has rejected a whinge from Zoe Alexander - The X Factor contestant who flew into a violent rage after being rejected by the judges - that she was 'unfairly treated' by the ITV show. When Alexander auditioned on The X Factor on 18 August last year, she revealed that she was 'a tribute act' to American singer-songwriter Pink, but said she wanted to move away from that act. The judges expressed their surprise after she performed 'So What?' by Pink, and allowed her to perform a second song by Emeli Sandé. But it wasn't enough, and she was not put through to the next round, with the judges saying that she should 'find her voice' as an artist. To this, Alexander too something of a total radge attack and angrily responded: 'You told me to sing a Pink song, I didn't want to sing a Pink song. You guys told me to sing a Pink song.' The Welsh singer then reportedly 'shocked' and 'stunned' the show's judges - Louis Walsh, Tulisa Contostavlos, Gary Barlow and Nicole Scherzinger - with an expletive-filled tirade, before heading off stage pushing cameras out of her way and 'attacking' the set. She was eventually escorted away from the backstage area in a flood of stroppy hysterics. Alexander claimed to Ofcom that she had been 'forced' to sing the Pink song by The X Factor programme makers, despite stating that she wanted to move away from that. She also claimed that her contact at The X Factor had ignored her song choice and dictated her outfit and hairstyle, insisting on her appearing as Pink. The singer said that her outburst - which culminated in her slapping the series producer in the face - was because she realised she had been 'set up by the programme makers.' In a rather bizarre submission to Ofcom, Alexander - who is, clearly, not mental or anything - also claimed that ITV had 'used computer generated imagery' and 'clever editing' to 'create an unfair impression of her and her behaviour.' ITV denied that her song choices had been ignored, but did admit to 'advising' Alexander that she should consider including a Pink song as one of her five song selections. The broadcaster said that The X Factor's production team had found that 'many tribute artists who applied to audition were well-versed in singing songs they regularly performed, but may not be so proficient when singing a song with which they were less familiar.' ITV said that Alexander's violent reaction after the rejection was 'unacceptable by any standards, whatever her perceived grievance,' and flatly denied that it had edited or used CGI to portray her in a bad light or anything even remotely like it. Ofcom backed ITV's actions in the situation, and said that it was 'not unreasonable' for the broadcaster to film Alexander's angry reaction to being rejected. The regulator also noted that the programme makers had 'stopped filming Miss Alexander at an earlier stage than when they would ordinarily stop, due to her emotional state. Ofcom did not consider that the programme makers were unfair in their dealings with Miss Alexander,' said the regulator. The media regulator also rejected a similar complaint from Alexander's father, Glenn Smith, who came on stage during the show to remonstrate with the judges over their rejection of his daughter.

Sky has been criticised by Ofcom for airing violent scenes such as a 'bare knuckle fight' in WWE Superstars on a Saturday morning last year. A complainant alerted Ofcom to content in a pre-recorded sequence featuring English WWE wrestler Wade Barrett, broadcast on Sky1 on 10 November 2012 at 9.20am. The sequence depicted Barrett - who was raised 'on the mean streets ... of Preston' - in underground wrestling and bare-knuckle fights, with people betting money on the outcome. Lasting around one-and-a-half minutes, the package included several close-up shots of punches and kicks to the head and chest in slow motion, with one competitor getting a bloody bruise on their chest. The voiceover said: 'Where I come from, the grim realities of life smack you in the face at every turn. An onslaught of fury is the only way to survive. I am Wade Barrett and my barrage has just begun.' After being contacted by Ofcom, UK WWE broadcaster Sky said that the sequence was intended to portray Barrett 'as a dark and dangerous character.' Well, he's from Preston, I'd've said that's a given without any visual evidence. Sky said that WWE wrestling is 'highly dramatic and pantomime' (for which read 'fixed') but accepted that the sequence depicted 'real' fighting outside of the ring, and therefore it may not have been suitable for a Saturday morning, when it was likely that children were watching. Ofcom agreed, saying: 'The scene in question depicted bare-knuckle fighting in an underground setting, clearly distinguishing it from staged competitive wrestling that takes place in a ring with a referee. The dark, aggressive and realistic nature of this scene combined with close-up slow-motion punches and kicks to the head and chest with powerful sound effects to underscore the impacts to make the material, in Ofcom's view, clearly unsuitable for children.' Sky apologised for the 'distress' caused and said that it would 'review' its guidelines for ensuring the compliance of WWE material broadcast on Sky1 in the future. The company has also contacted the makers of WWE and advised them to avoid producing scenes that feature 'real' fighting. Not much chance of that in WWE, one would have thought.
The BBC is launching a talent show to find a new presenter for Blue Peter. CBBC's Dick and Dom will host the search for someone to join the current team of Barney Harwood and Helen Skelton. Contenders will have to win their way through a series of challenges to reach the final, where the winners will be chosen by CBBC's audience. 'Working on Blue Peter is a dream job for any aspiring presenter,' said CBBC controller Cheryl Taylor. 'Our search for a new face to join Helen and Barney will generate a huge level of excitement for CBBC viewers. With the irrepressible Dick and Dom on hand to orchestrate proceedings we anticipate high tension and high jinks.' The series, which has a working title of So You Think You Can Be A Blue Peter Presenter?, starts this summer. The BBC's flagship children's show has launched the careers of many TV presenters like Matt Baker, Konnie Huq and Zoe Salmon. Other famous names to come from the show include Valerie Singleton, Janet Ellis, John Noakes, Anthea Turner and Peter Purves.

Coronation Street character David Platt may have (temporarily) outgrown his wicked past, but the actor who plays him, Jack P Shepherd, has been showing a distinctly devilish streak on the soap recently. The Daily Lies reports that Shepherd has been 'told off' by 'Corrie bosses' (that's tabloid speak for 'Coronation Street producers' only with less syllables) after sporting a T-shirt with the slogan 'Sha-ting!' – based on a sound effect used by Celebrity Juice's Keith Lemon – on-screen. Shepherd tweeted: 'Some "no-lives" have complained about the "Sha-ting" T-shirt on Corrie so it has been taken off-air. But I'm going to auction it off for charity so I will get the T-shirt next week and give you the details if ya want it.' The actor was previously banned from wearing a T-shirt with the slogan 'Turn Me On' – and forced several scenes to be reshot after he wore a top emblazoned 'Schwetty Nuts'.

ITV is to broadcast a documentary marking the tenth anniversary of the death of its journalist Terry Lloyd in the opening days of the Iraq war later this month. Lloyd, fifty, his ITV News cameraman Fred Nerac and local translator Hussein Osman were killed near the Shatt al-Basra bridge outside Basra on 22 March, 2003. Nerac's body was never found. The veteran ITV foreign correspondent was not embedded with the US or UK military and his four-strong ITN team was caught in crossfire between US and Iraqi forces. In October 2006, an inquest recorded a verdict of unlawful killing by US forces, but two years later the Crown Prosecution Service said there was 'insufficient evidence' to bring charges against any individuals. At the time, the CPS said forensic evidence indicated Lloyd was injured by shots from Iraqi forces and then by US fire. Who Killed My Dad? – The Death Of Terry Lloyd, to be broadcast on 21 March, follows the journalist's daughter Chelsey as she retraces his final movements in Iraq, looking for answers her family has been seeking for a decade. She is accompanied by ITV News presenter Mark Austin, who also covered the start of the Iraq war as a reporter. The pair also visited America to try to meet the US Marines involved in the incident which led to Lloyd's death. The ITN Productions documentary was commissioned by Ian Squires, ITV controller of current affairs and news operations. Chris Shaw, ITN Productions editorial director, is executive producing.

After years of seemingly never ending cutbacks, Trinity Mirra's national titles are hiring again. The latest addition to the Daily Mirra is the odious and risible Ian Hyland, the - dreadful - TV columnist formerly of the Scum Mail on Sunday and, before that, the Scum of the World. Hyland is no stranger to Trinity, having started his Fleet Street career as a showbiz hack at the Sunday Mirra in 2000. He returns to the Mirra fold with a weekly TV column in the daily title, starting on Tuesday. The Mirra's previous TV columnist, Jim Shelley (who, when he put his mind to it, was actually quite decent ... on occasions), thumbed his remote for the last time in November. Lloyd Embley, editor-in-chief of the national Mirra papers, described Hyland's appointment as 'a fantastic signing.' He is the latest high-profile addition to the Mirra's ranks since Embley took over in October 2012. His arrival follows the return of Andy Lines as chief reporter, and the introduction of new columns by Lord Prescott in the Daily Mirra and Carole Malone in the Sunday Mirra.

New Zealand fast bowler Doug Bracewell is a doubt for the first Test against England, with media reports suggesting he injured his foot 'at a party.' Team manager Mike Sandle has 'started an investigation' into how Bracewell, who will have a fitness test on Tuesday, suffered a cut foot. 'I am aware of some allegations that have been levelled,' Sandle said. Seam bowler Ian Butler has been called up as cover ahead of the game in Dunedin, which starts on Wednesday. Sandle continued: 'I need to sit down and talk to a number of people and obviously Doug is one of them to ascertain some facts. There is a lot I don't know at the moment - I'll work with Doug and I'll work with Heath [Mills] from the players association to get to the bottom of the story.' When asked about allegations in the media that the injury could be drink-related, Sandle said: 'I'll be very disappointed if it is related to that. It is a distraction. We want to put on a good Test match for our public. This was outside our environment, he wasn't assembled with the New Zealand side - but we have expectations on our players to look after themselves and be fit for New Zealand.' Bracewell was absent from practice at Dunedin's University Oval on Monday and will have to prove his fitness on Tuesday in order to start against England. Butler has not played a Test since facing Bangladesh in 2004.

Yer actual Keith Telly Topping his very self was pleased that From The North received its first ever visitor from the Falkland Islands (or, The Malvinas, if you're that way inclined. Personally I'm not too bothered, it's just a name) on Monday of this week (when someone from Port Stanley arrived via Google on a 2009 page from this blog). Lovely. Probably looking for porn. Most people who visit here are, it would seem. Well, that or Doctor Who references. That now means that since yer actual Keith Telly Topping started keeping records in August 2009, this blog had been visited by computer users from one hundred and ninety six different countries or territories including such unlikely places as the Northern Mariana Islands, the Turks and Caicos Islands, Lichtenstein, Kyrgyzstan, Dijbouti, Bhutan, Belize, the seychelles, New Caledonia, Cameroon, French Polynesia, Guam, Côte d’Ivoire, the Netherlands Antilles, Faroe Islands, Palestinian Territories, China (so, seemingly, we're not banned there after all), Azerbaijan, Papua New Guinea, Liberia, Timor-Leste and Sierra Leone. And Sunderland. Indeed, apart from half-a-dozen territories in sub-Saharan Africa and various tiny island states in the Pacific, most of the world's been in and out of here at one time or another. Still nothing from the Federated States of Micronesia, however. Come on all you Micronesians with access to a computer, you're letting the side down. And, if you haven't got access to a computer, the trick is to keep banging the rocks together, apparently.

A man dressed as the caped crusader Batman has handed over a wanted man at a Bradford police station before disappearing into the night. Like a bat. Police said the costumed crime-fighter marched the twenty seven-year-old man into Trafalgar House Police Station in the early hours of 25 February. The man was charged with handling stolen goods and fraud offences. A police spokesperson said: 'The person who brought the man in was dressed in a full Batman outfit. His identity remains unknown.' The - extremely embarrassed - suspect will appear before Bradford magistrates on Friday, police said.

Bobby Rogers, a founding member of the Motown group The Miracles along with Smokey Robinson, has died aged seventy three. The singer, who had been ill for several years, died at his home in Detroit on Sunday. 'Another soldier in my life has fallen. [He] was my brother and a really good friend,' Smokey said in a statement. Bobby formed The Miracles in 1956 with his cousin Claudette Rogers, Pete Moore, Ronnie White and Robinson. Their hits included 'The Tracks of My Tears', 'Shop Around', 'You've Really Got a Hold on Me', 'More Love', 'Mickey's Monkey', 'Ooo Baby Baby', 'The Tears of A Clown', 'Going To A Go-Go', 'I Gotta Dance To Keep From Crying' and 'I Second That Emotion' an dozens of other pop-soul masterpieces. 'People always commented on the tall one with the glasses,' said Claudette Rogers. 'He was personable, approachable and he loved talking to the women, loved talking to the guys, loved to dance, loved to sing, loved to perform. That was the joy of his life.' Bobby's voice can be heard on Marvin Gaye's hit 'What's Goin' On?', with Rogers saying as the record begins: 'It's just a groovy party, man, I can dig it.' Mary Wilson of The Supremes said that statement captured Bobby's essence. 'If people want to remember him, they should put that record on and listen to Bobby,' she told the Detroit Free Press. 'That's who he was.' The Miracles grew out of an earlier quintet of high school performers called the Five Chimes that formed in the mid-1950s and changed its name to The Matadors after several line-up changes capped by Claudette's admission to the group. Berry Gordy recorded their first recording, 'Got A Job', an answer song to The Silhouettes' 'Get A Job' in January 1958. Gordy thereafter struck a deal with End Records to distribute the single. Before the song was released, the group changed their name to The Miracles. After earning only $3.19 for his production success, Gordy was advised by Smokey to form his own label, which Gordy did, starting Tamla Records in 1959. One of The Miracles' first Tamla singles, the ballad 'Bad Girl', became their first song to chart that October when it was licensed to and issued nationally by Chess Records. The group went on to record Motown's first million-selling hit single, 'Shop Around' in 1960. One of Bobby's most notable vocal contributions with the group was his two-part harmony with Smokey on 'You've Really Got a Hold on Me', which was later covered by The Beatles. He also shared song writing credits with Robinson on The Temptations' 'The Way You Do The Things You Do', as well as on The Contours' 'First I Look At The Purse' and a number of Miracles singles. Referred to as Motown's 'soul supergroup', The Miracles recorded over fifty US chart hits while Robinson was with the group. Following the departure of Smokey and guitarist Marv Tarplin in 1971, the rest of the group continued with singer Billy Griffin and scored two further top forty singles, 'Do It Baby' and the 1974 classic 'Love Machine'. Bobby continued performing with The Miracles until 2011. Smokey added: 'He and I were born on the exact same day in the same hospital in Detroit. I am really going to miss him. I loved him very much.' Bobby and The Miracles were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2012, however he was too ill to attend the ceremony.

So, for today's Keith Telly Topping's 45 of the Day, here's Bobby, Smokey, Pete and Ron (and, somewhere in The Earl Dyke Six at the back, Marv) along with various assorted Supremes, Vandellas, Temptations, Stevie Wonders and Dusty Springfields live on the legendary Ready Steady Go special The Sound of Motown in 1965. Three minutes and forty five seconds of the most joyous expression of 'music as life-affirmation' you're ever likely to see this side of the celestial choir. One side point however, whose bloody daft idea was it to stick the blind kid up on a ten foot podium at the back? Oi, health and safety! That's an accident waiting to happen, surely?