Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Listen 'Ere 'Arry, We're Goin' Dahn The Pub

Sky Sports 1's Ford Monday Night Football coverage of the potential Premiership title decider between Sheikh Yer Man City FC and The Scum (which City won 1-0, much to the Gallagher brothers' delight. And that of most other football fans in Manchester. Though, obviously not those in Wiltshire, Essex, Australia, etc.) was watched by an average of 2.55m punters across the entire three hour show. It had an audience peak of 4.4m (over seventeen per cent of the total TV available audience share) at 21:50 shortly before the end of the game. The match average from 20:00 to 21:55 was 4.1m. Between nine o'clock and ten o'clock, the coverage was watched by an average of 4.2m, making it the second most watched channel during that slot, only just behind ITV. This is, by a significant distance, the highest-rated Sky Sports match ever. Pretty much unheard of figures there. Note that between nine and ten, the match coverage beat Silent Witness on BBC1 (which averaged an overnight 3.88m) and got within a few hundred thousand of Scott & Bailey (4.51m). The third episode of BBC2's The 70s (1.93m) also seems to have taken a bit of a hit since it had been getting over two and a half million viewers for both of the previous episodes. Robson's Extreme Fishing Challenge on Channel Five pulled in seven hundred and seventy thousand viewers, down a couple of hundred thousand on its usual figure too. Later, on BBC1 Match of the Day - featuring highlights of the Manchester derby - was watched by a further 3.73m. Also during the evening, the start of Foxes Live: Wild in the City on Channel Four picked up 1.45m. Over on BBC4 the excellent The King and the Playwright: A Jacobean History, was watched by two hundred and seventy two thousand. (Yer actual Keith Telly Topping, incidentally, thanks to the wonders of modern recording devices, managed to watch the footie and The 70s and The King and the Playwright, just to prove those three weren't mutually incompatible). Monday's episode was the last in the current Silent Witness episodes. There was another two-part story filmed as part of this block - And Then I Fell In Love - which was originally scheduled to be shown some weeks ago. However it appears that the BBC are reluctant to broadcast this as there is, at present, a real life court case dealing with some, broadly, similar issues of sex slavery still ongoing. Next week's Silent Witness, therefore, is scheduled to be a repeat. Presumably the missing episodes will be held back to a later date - possibly as part of the 2013 series. Silent Witness finished its current run with an overnight series average of 5.41m, down a whopping 1.26m on the 2011 season. Scott & Bailey finished with an overnight series average of 5.26m, also down - 0.67m - on 2011. It would appear that neither of these two fine dramas has been been done any favours by the five-week Monday night scheduling clash between them.

The latest episode of Bones - The Family In The Feud - brought a very welcome return of Ryan O'Neill as Tempy's extremely criminal dad. Two further episodes are scheduled for the next fortnight, including the seventh series finale, The Past In The Present, which will be directed by David Boreanez. However, as previously mentioned, four further - vaguely inter-connected - episodes have been filmed although there's no news yet on whether these will be broadcaster during the summer or as part of the next - eighth - series, which was commissioned by FOX in late March.
Also on US TV this week, was a very fine episode of House, The C Word, directed Huge Laurie his very self. This explored, in even greater detail than usual, the complex nature of the friendship between House and Wilson (and featured a truly staggering performance by Robert Sean Leonard). Three more episodes are scheduled including the series (and show) finale, Everybody Dies, which will be co-written and directed by the series creator, David Shore. There are all sorts of rumours currently flying around about who may or may not be returning for this, most of which are unconfirmed as things stand.
And, finally in our weekly US round-up, another episode of Hawaii Five-0 - Pa Make Loa - passed by with Steve McGarrett mostly absent. Which, actually, didn't matter too much since this one was the first of a two-part crossover with NCIS: Los Angeles. LL Cool J and Chris O'Donnell turned up on the island when a suspect, the excellently named Dracul Comescu, seemed to be trying to sell nine vials of a deadly smallpox virus to the highest bidder. Although Five-0 and the NCIS task force managed to stop the deal from going through, they learn that the doctor who made the virus, has taken it to Los Angeles to release onto the populace. So, that's a very definite 'To Be Continued', then. The next evening, in fact, in the NCIS: Los Angeles episode Touch of Death. McGarrett (Alex McLoughlin) is scheduled to return in next week's Hawaii Five-0 episode, the first of a two-part series finale, Ua Hopu.
PBS executive Rebecca Eaton has insisted that Sherlock will 'always' be comprised of three-part series. Three ninety-minute instalments of the Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman detective drama were broadcast - to huge acclaim - in 2010, with three more debuting in January 2012. To even greater acclaim. '[The format is] very closely held,' Eaton told Collider. 'Steven [Moffat] crafts them, and Mark [Gatiss] writes some of them. It's a lot of work, and [Steven] also does Doctor Who and he worked on Tintin, so there couldn't be more than three.' Eaton argued that Sherlock co-creators Moffat and Gatiss use up all of their 'creative juice' on the show. 'I think there will only ever be three at a time, if we're lucky,' she said. 'It's getting harder and harder to do another season, not just because Benedict and Martin are getting such high profiles, but Steven and Mark are busy and in demand.' Eaton also claimed that she was not surprised by the success of Sherlock in the US. 'I knew, as soon as I saw Sherlock, that it was going to be special,' she explained. 'The fact that it caught fire the way that it did, didn't surprise me.'

Yer actual Keith Telly Topping is wholly indebted to his good chum, the totally brilliant author Danny Blythe, for pointing him in the direction of this Radio Times poll which asks the hugely important question What's the best TV ending of all time? 'Why,' Danny wants to know, 'are people voting for Sherlock in this poll?! It hasn't finished yet!'
Well, as far as we know, anyway.

Jude Law is reportedly a fan of Sherlock. Law played Watson opposite Robert Downey Jr's Holmes in both the 2009 film Sherlock Holmes and its 2011 sequel A Game of Shadows. Lara Pulver - who plays Irene Adler in Sherlock - told Zap2it that Law is a fan of the TV adaptation, which stars Benedict Cumberbatch. 'I actually just met Jude Law,' she explained. 'He said, "I'm in the action Sherlock and you're in the clever Sherlock.' However, Pulver admitted that she has not actually seen Law's own portrayal of Watson. (I have. They're all right, quite decent action movies, in fact, although not a patch of Sherlock. Law's reported summation is, in fact, quite accurate.) 'I hadn't seen the movie,' she said. 'I was interested in going on my research of Conan Doyle and what Steve [Moffat] had written on the page. It was so three-dimensional.' Last year, Pulver told the Digital Spy website that she would be happy to reprise the role of Adler in future episodes of Sherlock. 'It would be a privilege to work with Steven, Mark and the entire team [again] on this project,"' she said.

Meanwhile, Benedict Cumberbatch will reportedly play classic Star Trek villain Khan in JJ Abrams's upcoming movie sequel. The Sherlock star's role has been shrouded in secrecy since he landed the part in January. Cumberbatch was photographed filming fight scenes with Zachary Quinto's Spock in February. According to sources from TrekMovie, Cumberbatch will play the exiled Eugenics War leader Khan Noonien Singh in Star Trek 2. The character, a genetically-enhanced tyrant, was portrayed by Ricardo Montalban in the 1967 Star Trek episode Space Seed. He was brought back for the movie sequel Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, in which he attempts to steal a terraforming Genesis device, killed Jim Kirk's son and caused the most almighty bit of overacting in William Shatner's entire career. And, boy, that really is saying something. 'Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!' Furthermore, the website claims that Leonard Nimoy will return to the franchise to play the original time-line Spock. Nimoy recently told CNN that he was 'talking' with the filmmakers about coming back to the series for his eighth appearance as Spock in a Star Trek movie.

Australian entertainer and all-round British national treasure Rolf Harris is to be awarded the BAFTA Fellowship at this year's BAFTA TV Awards. The eighty two-year-old is being recognised for his 'outstanding and exceptional contribution to television.' Harris, whose career has spanned six decades, said he was 'hugely honoured and very thrilled' to receive the fellowship. He will be presented with his award at the ceremony at London's Royal Festival Hall on 27 May. First signed by the BBC in 1953, Harris's broadcasting career has spanned a variety of genres including children's television, arts and factual as well as light entertainment including The Rolf Harris Show and Rolf on Saturday OK?Rolf's Cartoon Club, Rolf on Art and Animal Hospital. He also entertained as a musician and comedian. In 2005 he was commissioned to paint a portrait of the Queen by the BBC to celebrate her eightieth birthday. The accompanying programme, The Queen by Rolf, was watched by seven million viewers. He was made a CBE a year later. 'Rolf Harris is one of the world's most iconic entertainers,' said BAFTA chairman Tim Corrie. 'He has huge audience appeal across multiple generations, and we are delighted to honour his contribution to television and the arts.' The BAFTA Fellowship is the highest accolade bestowed upon an individual in recognition of their work. Previous recipients include Lord Bragg, Sir David Jason, Sir Bruce Forsyth and Sir David Frost. Sir Trevor McDonald received the Fellowship at last year's TV awards.

Piers Wenger is to be the new head of drama for Channel Four and E4. He's currently a senior commissioning executive at Film4 but is best known for being one of the executive producers of Doctor Who. Along with Steven Moffat and Beth Willis, he oversaw the launch of Matt Smith as the Eleventh Doctor. Channel Four chief creative officer Jay Hunt said: 'Piers is an exceptional creative leader with a brilliant track record for delivering unmissable drama. His passion for distinctive authorship makes him the ideal fit with Channel Four. I can't wait to work with him.' Wenger said: 'It's a hugely exciting time to be taking on this role and I can't wait to start work with Jay and the team on developing a new generation of drama for Channel Four. I'm also greatly indebted to Tessa Ross and all at Film4 for the expertise they have shared in the last six months and it's a dream come true to be able to continue those relationships into my new role.' While executive producer of Doctor Who, Wenger was also head of drama for BBC Wales, overseeing production of Christopher and His Kind, also starring Matt Smith, and the acclaimed Eric and Ernie.
Rupert Murdoch 'is not a fit person to exercise the stewardship of a major international company', MPs have said. The Commons culture committee questioned journalists and bosses at the now-disgraced and disgraceful Scum of the World, as well as police and lawyers for hacking victims. Its report has concluded that Murdoch exhibited 'wilful blindness' to what was going on in News Corporation. But, the committee was split six-to-four with four Tory members refusing to endorse the report and branding it 'partisan.' Which disgraceful brown-tonguing will, hopefully, be remembered by voters at the next election. Conservative Louise Bagashite called it 'a real great shame' that the report's credibility had potentially been 'damaged' as a result, with the report carried by Labour and Lib Dem members backing it. News Corp said in a statement it was 'carefully reviewing' the report and would 'respond shortly', adding: 'The company fully acknowledges significant wrongdoing' at the Scum of the World 'and apologises to everyone whose privacy was invaded.' The committee itself does not have the power to impose sanctions, but it raised the possibility of a vote in the House of Commons about whether witnesses had been in contempt of Parliament - and if so, whether those witnesses should be forced to apologise in and to Parliament. The BBC News Channel's chief political correspondent Norman Smith said that the report was 'much more damning' than had been anticipated and directly questioned the integrity and honesty of Rupert Murdoch. BBC business editor Robert Pestinfestation said that it would push Ofcom, the media regulator, 'closer to the conclusion' that BSkyB - thirty nine per cent owned by News Corp - is 'not fit and proper to hold a broadcasting licence.' Reacting to the report, an Ofcom spokesman said it was 'continuing to assess the evidence - including the new and emerging evidence' that may assist it in ruling on that issue. The committee of MPs began its inquiry in July 2011 in the wake of fresh revelations about the extent of hacking at the tabloid newspaper, with reported victims including the murdered schoolgirl Milly Dowler and the families of victims of the 7/7 London bombings. It heard evidence from Murdoch and his son James Murdoch the small, and has now concluded that the notion of a hands-on proprietor like Rupert Murdoch having 'no inkling' that wrongdoing was widespread at the Scum of the World was 'simply not credible.' It noted that the newspaper mogul had 'excellent powers of recall and grasp of detail when it suited him', and added: 'On the basis of the facts and evidence before the committee, we conclude that, if at all relevant times Rupert Murdoch did not take steps to become fully informed about phone-hacking, he turned a blind eye and exhibited wilful blindness to what was going on in his companies and publications.' Tory MPs objected specifically to the line branding Murdoch 'not fit', with one, the thoroughly odious Philip Davies, telling a press conference that the committee had seen 'absolutely no evidence' to endorse such a 'completely ludicrous' conclusion. But Labour MP Tommy Watson (power to the people!) said 'more than any individual alive', Murdoch was to blame for phone-hacking, and it was right to 'raise the bar' of the report and 'make that clear.' The committee also criticised three former News International executives - one-time executive chairman Les Hinton, former Scum of the World editor Colin Myler and former legal manager Tom Crone - accusing them of 'giving misleading evidence.' Myler, who is now editor of the New York Daily News, claimed that he had 'always sought to be accurate and consistent' in his evidence. 'The conclusions of the committee have, perhaps inevitably, been affected by the fragmented picture which has emerged from the various witnesses over successive appearances,' he said. News Corp as a whole was guilty of 'huge failings of corporate governance' and, throughout, its instinct had been 'to cover up rather than seek out wrongdoing and discipline the perpetrators', the committee said. And it concluded: 'Corporately, the News of the World and News International misled the committee about the true nature and extent of the internal investigations they professed to have carried out in relation to phone hacking; by making statements they would have known were not fully truthful; and by failing to disclose documents which would have helped expose the truth.' Murdoch the small told the committee last summer that he 'did not see' an e-mail which suggested that hacking was more widespread at the paper than previously acknowledged - a claim disputed by Myler and Crone in their evidence. On that matter, the report concluded that Murdoch the small was 'consistent' in relation to the so-called 'For Neville' e-mail, but that he had demonstrated 'wilful ignorance' about what had been going on, which 'clearly raises questions of competence' on his part. Murdoch the small has insisted that he did not know about any wrongdoing at the Scum of the World, but took 'his share' of responsibility for not uncovering it earlier. He gave evidence alongside his father. The committee also said that former Scum of the World editor and well-known Crystal Tipps lookalike Rebekah Brooks must 'accept responsibility' for presiding over a culture at the Scum of the World which led to journalists impersonating members of Milly Dowler's family and hacking the teenager's phone. Brooks, the former Sun and Scum of the World editor and ex-News International chief executive, was largely spared from MPs' criticism because she is currently on police bail after being arrested on suspicion of voicemail interception and conspiracy to pervert the course of justice. Well-known Crystal Tipps lookalike Brooks denies any knowledge of, or involvement in, phone-hacking or other illegal activity. However, the MPs said that well-known Crystal Tipps lookalike Brooks should take responsibility for 'the culture which permitted' what they described as 'unethical newsgathering methods' at the Scum of the World during the Milly Dowler police murder investigation in 2002, when she was the paper's editor. 'The attempts by the News of the World to get a scoop on Milly Dowler led to a considerable amount of police resource being redirected to the pursuit of false leads,' the report said. It added that Scum of the World journalists had impersonated members of the missing girl's family, 'besieged' a wholly innocent employment agency, falsely quoted the police and obtained Dowler's mobile telephone number from her school friends. 'For those actions, and the culture which permitted them, the editor should accept responsibility,' the MPs said of Brooks. And, it criticised the Director of Public Prosecutions Keir Starmer and former Acting Deputy Commissioner at the Metropolitan Police Champagne John Yates for failing to ensure that hacking claims were properly investigated. After initially claiming malpractice was limited to one 'rogue' reporter at the Scum of the World, a story which they stuck to for the best part of four years, News International finally came clean and has now settled dozens of civil cases admitting liability for hacking between 2001 and 2006. More than six thousand possible victims have been identified and the police have so far made a number of arrests in connection with an investigation reopened in January 2011 - although no charges have yet been brought. Asked whether David Cameron regarded Rupert Murdoch as a fit person to run a media company, his official spokesman said: 'That is a matter for the regulatory authorities, not for the government.' Labour leader Ed Milimolimandi and Lib Dem Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg both said Ofcom must now be allowed to come to its own conclusion. The hacking revelations led to the closure of the Scum of the World and the government's decision - taken in a blind panic, frankly - to set up a judicial inquiry into press standards headed by Lord Leveson. Appearing before the Leveson Inquiry last week, Rupert Murdoch said there had been a 'cover-up' which 'shielded' senior figures at the paper and its parent company - including himself, Murdoch the small and well-known Crystal Tipps lookalike Brooks - from knowledge of wrongdoing taking place. Watson, himself a phone-hacking victim who has doggedly pursued the Murdochs over the scandal – all the way to News Corp's 2011 AGM in Los Angeles – commented on his personal blog: 'The truth is that, whatever we have said in our report, and however you choose to report it tomorrow, the public have made up their minds. Powerful people were involved in a cover-up and they still haven't accepted responsibility. And after all of this, the story is not yet over. It was reported at the weekend that Rebekah Brooks was prepared to release her personal texts and e-mails to the Leveson inquiry. I think she should. But, as David Cameron said yesterday, the contacts between Rupert Murdoch and senior ministers crossed both sides of the House. If we really want to see how News Corp in the UK operates, then the current PM and Chancellor, all former prime ministers – including Tony Blair and Gordon Brown, and former chancellors might want to consider revealing their texts and e-mails to company executives. But to really stop [it happening again] requires more than tokenistic retribution. It needs conclusive attribution. The very cornerstone of justice is that those really responsible are held to account – that the rich and the powerful are as low in the face of the law as the most humble and weak. In the words of Bob Dylan, "that the ladder of law has no top and no bottom." And everybody in the world knows who is responsible for the wrongdoing of News Corp: Rupert Murdoch. More than any individual alive, he is to blame. Morally, the deeds are his. He paid the piper and he called the tune. It is his company, his culture, his people, his business, his failures, his lies, his crimes. The price for his profits and his power.' Another culture select committee member, Paul Farrelly, has written a comment piece for Comment is Free: 'The whole saga raises questions about James Murdoch's competence. Unlike the son, print and ink runs deep in Rupert Murdoch's veins and he is not a hands-off proprietor; indeed, Rebekah Brooks told us that, when chief executive of NI, she would talk to him "every other day." There are many examples of questionable practices at the News of the World, all in the public domain – from the Operation Motorman inquiry into the use of private detectives, to the judge's comments about blackmail in the newspaper's sting on Max Mosley. Yet no action was taken. "This culture," we considered, "permeated from the top throughout the organisation and speaks volumes about the lack of effective corporate governance at News Corporation and News International." We concluded, therefore, "that Rupert Murdoch is not a fit person to exercise the stewardship of a major international company." This is, sadly, not the end of the affair. The police and the Crown Prosecution Service do not come out smelling of roses, either. We have reserved our right to publish further findings following the Metropolitan police's investigation and any future criminal trials. The House of Commons will now consider punishment – and important lessons for parliament. The integrity and effectiveness of the select committee system," we conclude, "relies on the truthfulness of evidence. The behaviour of News International and certain witnesses in this affair demonstrated contempt for that system in the most blatant fashion."'

The Gruniad's political editor Patrick Wintour wrote the following analysis on the committee report and the split between Tory MPs and their Labour and solitary Lib Dem colleagues: 'David Cameron and his Conservative MPs now face the unappetising political prospect of appearing to defend Rupert Murdoch after four Conservative MPs on the committee refused to declare he was not a fit person to run an international company. Cameron is a genuine admirer of Murdoch's business skills, and like his Conservative colleagues on the culture select committee, is likely to argue there is no evidence that he misled the committee. He is also likely to agree with the Conservatives on the committee that it was going beyond its remit by commenting on Murdoch's status as a man capable of running an international company. Conservative MPs on the committee simply refused to accept the evidence existed to show that either Rupert Murdoch or his son James had deliberately misled the committee. The report did come perilously close to suggesting he did mislead, describing some of his evidence as "astonishing" and accusing him of "wilful blindness." Labour MPs, with the support of the sole Liberal Democrat MP, Adrian Sanders, argued that the scale of the corporate wrongdoing meant it was necessary to declare that Murdoch was "not a fit and proper person" to run an international company. This report will now be referred to the Commons, and that could present a further problem for the Conservatives. Cameron may feel deeply uneasy at the sight of his MPs being perceived to stand by Murdoch in any way, narrow or wide. Ed Miliband was already preparing to make hay. John Whittingdale, the Conservative chairman of the committee, and Louise Mensch, a prominent Conservative on the committee, insisted that the motion in front of the Commons will be about the individuals, including Colin Myler, the editor of the New York Daily News, who they say has misled parliament. It will be easy for Conservative whips to agree to vote for that motion. It will be problematic if an amendment is tabled suggesting [Murdoch] is not fit to run an international company. But that is a little way down the track in the next parliamentary session. There will also be a further subsidiary debate about parliament can do to punish those that have been in contempt of the House. It is known for instance that the Speaker John Bercow feels strongly that some kind of suitable punishment has to be devised. At present the punishment includes being asked to apologise to MPs at the bar of the House.'
On what should happen to people who mislead parliament, Mensch suggested that there should be a 'contempt of parliament', similar to contempt of court. 'We need a defined consequence for misleading parliament. That is my personal view.' The report also calls on News Corp to waive legal privilege to crucial Burton Copeland legal advice which has so far been withheld. Mensch said that it is 'quite right. We call on News International management and standards committee to release Burton Copeland from privilege at once so we can have transparency to ensure there is nothing further being concealed.' On the split in the committee over the report, Whittingdale said: 'On the main findings which relate to misleading evidence, the committee was wholly agreed.' Mensch claimed that, in her opinion, there was 'a deliberate cover-up further down' at NewsCorp, so the Murdochs, themselves, didn't know. This is the culture select committee's third report on Scum of the World phone-hacking. The first was published in 2007 when News International was claiming phone-hacking was the work of a single 'rogue' reporter, former Scum of the World royal reporter Clive Goodman, who was jailed after pleading guilty hacking-related offences in January of that year. The second report, published in February 2010, after the committee re-opened its phone-hacking inquiry following the Gruniad Morning Star's revelations that the practice at the now disgraced and disgraceful Sunday tabloid was more widespread, accused News International executives of 'collective amnesia' and 'deliberate obfuscation.' MPs also said that it was 'inconceivable' that only a few people at the paper knew about the practice. The select committee re-opened its phone-hacking inquiry for a second time in July last year, after the revelation that the Scum of the World had hacked murdered schoolgirl Milly Dowler's phone. Hacked Off campaign creator Martin Moore said that repercussions of the report went beyond what was going to happen in Parliament, as there would be 'ramifications for individuals' and the News Corp business itself, in terms of what shareholders think and what Ofcom decides. The Torygraph's political editor James Kirkup wrote: 'At first glance, the Select Committee on Culture, Media and Sport is a loser here: far from appearing a respectable, credible organ of parliamentary scrutiny, it looks like a sack of querulous ferrets. But peer into the sack and you'll see that some ferrets are doing better than others. Consider Labour's Tom Watson. Yes, his overblown Dylan-quoting presentation verged on the hysterical, but he's achieved two things today. First, he's put into circulation a further question about Rupert Murdoch's fitness to own a stake in BSkyB. Remember that in the Murdoch empire, the News of the World was a minor outpost but BSkyB is a significant possession. Any threat to the Sky stake could unnerve big US shareholders in News Corp and cause Mr Murdoch real grief. And that, of course, is Mr Watson's primary aim in politics these days. Remember too that this report was never intended to consider such broad questions, but to focus on narrower details arising from the News of the World. Yet thanks to Mr Watson, the headlines are all about Mr Murdoch's fitness to retain one of his crown jewels. Second, look at those Conservative MPs on the committee explaining why they didn't vote for Mr Watson's "not fit" conclusion. Some, like the right-winger Philip Davies, have no problem with defending Mr Murdoch as a successful businessman. Others lack Mr Davies' admirable frankness. But the effect is the same: Conservative MPs have been manoeuvred into a position of publicly defending Rupert Murdoch. Expect other Conservatives, especially ministers, to face questions now about whether they, too, believe Mr Murdoch is fit to run an international company. At a time when the Conservative bit of the Government is facing questions about the cosiness of its dealings with the Murdochs, that's a political gift to the Murdoch-baiting Labour Party. Not a bad day's work for the party's deputy chairman.'
Some of the most biting criticisms in the CMS Committee's report are of the behaviour of Scum of the World journalists in 2002, who hacked the phone of the murdered teenager Milly Dowler. The MPs call the paper's activities 'indefensible', 'grotesque', 'astonishing' and 'brazen', in a unanimously-agreed section. The committee say they are 'still unable to publish' the full evidence they have unearthed, because of the prospect of criminal charges against Scum of the World employees involved in the hacking. They, therefore, do not name them. But the report makes it clear that Scum of the World staff 'directly interfered' with the police investigation, and attempted to 'bounce' Surrey police into providing material for their 'exclusives.' The attempts by the Scum of the World 'to get a scoop on Milly Dowler led to a considerable amount of valuable police resource being redirected to the pursuit of false leads,' the state. They say that the then editor, well-known Crystal Tipps lookalike Rebekah Brooks, must be held responsible overall, despite her testimony that she found the Dowler revelations 'abhorrent' and 'staggering' and had been unaware of the hacking. She sought to 'portray a culture of ethical and respectful journalism' in which the paper handled such stories sensitively and in close co-operation with police, the report said, and she explained that she had been 'on holiday' at the time of the hacking. The report treats this account sceptically. The MPs point out that well-known Crystal Tipps lookalike Brooks had returned from her holiday to take charge of the paper by the following week, when staff were still pursuing the Dowler story and still openly telling Surrey police that they had tapes of Dowler's voicemails. They add: 'Impersonating members of a missing girl's family; besieging an employment agency; falsely asserting co-operation with the police; falsely quoting the police; and, according to their own account, obtaining Milly Dowler's mobile telephone number from her school friends are hardly the actions of a respectful and responsible news outlet. For those actions, and the culture which permitted them, the editor should accept responsibility.' But the report draws back from detailing the full extent of the Scum of the World's misbehaviour in the Dowler case: 'We refrain from drawing conclusions about the conduct of individuals in their evidence to the committee about Milly Dowler because at least one of those individuals has been arrested and faces the prospect of criminal charges.' The Scum of the World's lawyer Tom Crone, who the report accuses of' a cover-up', is roundly criticised for his evidence about a published Scum of the World story which was obviously based on voicemail interception. 'It is highly probable, in view of his role at the newspaper, that he was responsible for checking the original article's content, at the very least. Anybody who saw that article will have been aware that the information came from Milly Dowler's voicemail account. Any competent newspaper lawyer could reasonably have been expected to ask questions about how that information had been obtained. We are astonished that Tom Crone should have decided to present to the committee the hypothesis that the information was provided by the police.' Within the report there were some passages critical of the Murdoch family that met with cross-party approval. One paragraph, approved by nine votes to one, said the committee found it 'simply astonishing' that it took Rupert and James Murdoch at least two and a half years between 2008 and the end of 2010 to conclude that the company line – that hacking was confined to a single 'rogue' reporter, the jailed former royal editor Clive Goodman – was 'untrue.' The only dissenting voice was that of Therese Coffey, a Conservative MP.

Live streams of the landmark appearance of Rupert Murdoch and James Murdoch the small at an inquiry into press ethics last week attracted an audience of more than two million people worldwide. ITN Productions ran a live stream of the evidence across its network of publisher websites, including Mail Online, Guardian.co.uk, ITN.co.uk and Facebook, in partnership with Rightster. Coverage of the separate evidence sessions of Rupert and his son James Murdoch at the Leveson inquiry last week reached two million three hundred and thirty six thousand three hundred and sixty seven people across two hundred and fifteen countries. The peak viewing time was on 25 April, the first day of media mogul Rupert Murdoch's appearance, when at 12pm the people streaming the footage reached six hundred and nine thousand. On the second day of News Corp boss Murdoch's evidence, 26 April, another spike of five hundred and eighty thousand viewers occurred at 11am during discussion about the Gruniad's 2009 revelations that phone-hacking was more widespread at the Scum of the World. At this time, Murdoch said: 'The police totally disowned it [the report], said it was wrong.' The figures produced by digital distribution company Rightster show that more people watched the live stream of the Leveson evidence than when Rupert and James Murdoch the small appeared together at the Commons culture, media and sport select committee last year. 'These figures reflect the public's interest in the events taking place at the Leveson inquiry and how the Murdochs' appearances have dominated the news agenda in recent days,' said Mark Browning, the managing director of ITN Productions. 'The popularity of the live stream also shows that there is a real opportunity for online publishers to incorporate live video of major events alongside comment, analysis and live blogs to enhance their online content.' Rightster's founder and chief executive Charlie Muirhead added: 'Today's population cares more than ever before about being as up to date as possible with breaking news. Online video streaming across multi-platforms and devices not only gives the public access to events as and when they happen, but provides content producers with a reach and digital engagement with their audience that was unimaginable just a few years ago.'
Boris Johnson, the London mayor, has defended his decision to seek commercial deals with News International while Scotland Yard was investigating the company over phone-hacking. Johnson, who as mayor had responsibility for chairing the now-defunct Metropolitan Police Authority, defended his decision to approach James Murdoch the small and well-known Crystal Tipps lookalike Rebekah Brooks in an attempt to get sponsorship for his cable car idea and a school academy while the Met was investigating the company. 'In the end I'm afraid News International didn't produce a sausage but it didn't mean it wasn't right to try,' he told the radio presenter Nick Ferrari on LBC. Johnson outlined the competing priorities he held as mayor which led him to approach Murdoch for cash, insisting he appealed to 'all kinds of people' to try to secure investment for London. 'Don't forget that actually what we were being given as advice by the police was that there was nothing new in the whole business. The New York Times story [into phone hacking in September 2010] hadn't taken things any further forward. At the same time in difficult economic circumstances my job is to get investment for London. I won't make any secret of it. I have talked to all kinds of people to get investment, to get projects moving. Things have been very tough. The days when the state, uncle sugar, could just step forward and write colossal cheques, that's gone.' On Monday he accused a BBC journalist asking questions over his approach to NI of 'talking fucking bollocks.' The mayor, who appears on course to beat his Labour rival Ken Livingstone for a second time, appeared to suggest that no apology was necessary for his sweary outburst. He blamed the BBC for not cutting out what he claimed was 'a jocular and regrettable outtake' despite the fact that he made the comment in response to a question from the BBC London's political editor, Tim Donovan. Far from apologising, Johnson said it allowed him to 'get over a point' to viewers about the way he had secured more than one hundred million smackers of sponsorship for London, which he claimed would not have been broadcast without him taking a swipe at the journalist. Johnson also came under fire for painting the stereotypical cyclist as a dreadlocked, lycra-clad man who jumps red lights and believes he is 'morally superior.' His comments were reported in The Times after Johnson took part in the last hustings of the campaign on Monday in an event jointly organised by The Times and Sustrans, the transport charity, which focused on cycling. The mayor, who is himself a cyclist and who was caught jumping six red lights in a twenty-minute journey to city hall after being elected as mayor four years ago, said he had been faced with a 'truculent and difficult audience' who were 'seeking to find fault with almost everything I'd done to improve cycling' as he took questions alongside fellow candidates. Ferrari told him: 'When you're rattled you either turn on people or swear.' Johnson insisted: 'I was trying to cheer everybody up by saying I didn't conform to that particular stereotype.'

It is more than thirty years since the BBC last dramatised Shakespeare's history plays so it is little surprise that this summer's four new films from the corporation have attracted the cream of British acting and directing talent – from Jeremy Irons and Ben Wishaw, to Simon Russell Beale and Sir Richard Eyre. With the Oscar-winning director Sam Mendes as executive producer, the BBC will screen Richard II, Henry IV parts I and II, and Henry V, from late June on BBC2 as part of the Cultural Olympiad. Mendes' partner at Neal Street Productions, Pippa Harris, said the combination of the Queen's diamond jubilee and the Olympics made 2012 the perfect opportunity to revisit the histories. 'There are so many themes in these four plays which seem fitting to be showcased in this particular year – themes about monarchy, England and politics.' Wishaw takes the role of the doomed king in Richard II, which is directed by Rupert Goold, associate director at the RSC, whose acclaimed stage production of Macbeth, starring Patrick Stewart, was broadcast on BBC4 last year. Goold said the films came as Britain was showing an exceptional number of actors with great classical theatre skills as well as screen experience. 'That's a really rare moment when you can combine genuine verse speaking technique with screen understanding,' he said. Other actors appearing in the four films include Tom Hiddleston (Prince Hal), Patrick Stewart (John of Gaunt), Julie Walters (Mistress Quickly), David Suchet (Duke of York), Lindsay Duncan (Duchess of York), Rory Kinnear (Bolingbroke), Michelle Dockery (Lady Percy), Maxine Peake (Doll Tearsheet), Iain Glen (Warwick) and John Hurt (The Chorus). Irons will play Henry IV, while Russell Beale is to be Falstaff. Eyre will direct Henry IV, and Thea Sharrock is the director on Henry V. Mendes and Harris originally approached the BBC with a plan to re-stage all of Shakespeare's canon. 'It seemed to go down quite well until we pointed out that was thirty seven films, and they did the maths and worked out that wasn't going to happen,' Harris said. However, if the new history plays are well received, there are hopes that the BBC will commission further new Shakespeares. All four films have been set in the medieval period. 'I've never done a Shakespeare production in its exact historical setting before.' Goold, who had been considering a stage version of Richard II, based on the story of the singer Michael Jackson, before being approached for the BBC version, said: 'I've never done a Shakespeare production in its exact historical setting before. But there's so much in Richard II about kingship and crowns, and arguably these four plays are looking at the move from the medieval mindset to a modern mindset, so we wanted to keep it in period.' Each of the dramas, adapted from original text for television, is intended to work as an individual film – but shared cast members should ensure they also work as a series of stories. 'We wanted each film to stand alone but also to be like a miniseries you can follow through,' said Harris. The Welsh coastline and landscape features heavily in Richard II, which was filmed entirely on location in the UK – unlike many recent dramas such as ITV's Titanic and BBC1's Birdsong, both filmed in Budapest for budgetary reasons. 'There's something really special about the cathedrals, the landscapes,' said Goold, of the filming in Pembrokeshire. 'It's very difficult to find landscapes that can pass for the late fourteenth century when there weren't any fields, any pastures. So we were right down to the corner of Wales. But it gave it a kind of texture.' The films are co-produced with NBCUniversal and the US public service broadcaster WNET.

The Voice contestant Ruth Brown has responded on Twitter to abuse about her weight. The singer told her fans that the insults on the social networking site 'hurt.' After retweeting numerous examples she has been sent on Twitter, Brown wrote: 'Okay I'm big, get over it. Not gonna lie those comments did hurt, but I'm getting my dream and have amazing support thank you all.' Good on ya, girl. You tell 'em. Brown received support from her show rival Joelle Moses, who wrote: 'Call me if you need to! You know I'm here whenever you need me.' Comments about Brown on Twitter included one - no doubt perfect specimen of humanity - calling her an 'ugly fat cow', one branding her the 'fat controller' and another describing her as a 'fat wasp.' Several other even more offensive remarks were made about her size, outfit and weight. Brown - who is coached on the show by Sir Tom Jones - and Jaz Ellington are currently the bookmakers' favourites to win the talent show. Y'see, dear blog reader, this is just one of the many reasons that yer actual Keith Telly Topping isn't on Twitter. Because, lots of arseholes are.

The Voice will reportedly be 'revamped 'following 'concerns' about the most recent episodes of the show. This is all according to the Daily Lies, however, so it's probably a load of old shit. Producers, they allege, are planning 'dramatic changes' aimed at regaining viewers after the programme's figures dropped last weekend. The coaches will reportedly no longer perform a song together at the start of the show, after criticism of their rendition of U2's 'Beautiful Day'. Instead they will sing with their own acts, following the lead of the US version of the programme. A string of guest stars, including Adele, are also apparently being lined-up to perform alongside the contestants. In addition, double eliminations from each team will be introduced to 'create more drama.' The coaches have also reportedly been asked to become 'more critical and cruel,' and have been told to 'do their homework' following an incident when Sir Tom Jones called contestant Joelle Moses 'Jolene.' This, despite the fact that just a couple of weeks ago near enough every national newspaper in the country was claiming that the reason the programme was doing so well was precisely because, unlike Britian's Got Talent and The X Factor, it wasn't cruel or critical. So, you know, make your mind up, guys. An alleged, and nameless, 'source', who almost certainly doesn't exist, allegedly said: 'The BBC know that The Voice is liked by fans but the first live show didn't quite go as planned. They're ordering a shake-up because they cannot afford to lose viewers.' Allegedly. The Daily Lies, ladies and gentlemen, they know an alleged 'source' when they see one. This blogger's own, particular, favourite bit of the Lies report is the following: 'After the ratings shock on Saturday, when BGT drew 9.4m viewers compared with The Voice's 9.3m, the Beeb held a crisis meeting.' Yeah. Right. Over nine million viewers and, it's 'a show in crisis.'

The cleaner of illusionist and master of prestidigitation and jiggery-pokery Derren Brown has appeared in court, accused of stealing thousands of pounds from the television star through bogus cheques. Rocio Pavon-Navarrete, forty six, is alleged to have taken two signed blank cheques from Derren's central London home while he was away. Prosecutors claim the cleaner passed the cheques to forty eight-year-old Bernard Ayanbanjo. Brown is thought to have left the cheques at his Westminster home in case of emergency. Pavon-Navarrete and Ayanbanjo both appeared in the dock at Southwark Crown Court. They spoke only to confirm their names. Judge Alistair McCreath ordered the pair to stand trial in the week beginning 10 September. Derren, who is currently touring his Svengali show, is expected to give evidence during the two-day trial.

The BBC Trust chairman Lord Patten – a former governor of Hong Kong, chairman of the Tory Party and European commissioner for external relations – has, it would seem, finally arrived. Patten was puzzled to be asked to contribute to Prospect magazine's 'If I ruled the world...' column, reports the Daily Scum Mail. 'What do you mean "if"?' he asked.

The first ever live episode of Emmerdale will be broadcast this October in celebration of the soap’s fortieth birthday. Series producer Stuart Blackburn has confirmed that the special episode will make up part of a week-long celebration of the soap's four decades on air, which he describes as 'must-see TV featuring two weddings, one of which will be the most unexpected we have ever seen, plus the birth of two babies.' Emmerdale is the last of the big three British TV soap operas to produce a live edition. Coronation Street, which began life as a live show, celebrated its fortieth anniversary in 2000 and fiftieth anniversary in 2010 with live broadcasts. BBC rival, EastEnders, marked its twenty fifth birthday with a thirty-minute special.

A writer for The Thick of It has criticised BBC America's decision to censor the show. Jesse Armstrong described the move to 'bleep' Armando Iannucci's award-winning political satire as 'an error. They should at least have a conversation with Armando and check what they're going to do with it before they put it out,' he told the BBC. 'It seems a little odd.' BBC America stood by its decision, despite the show airing at midnight. A spokesman for the US channel told comedy website Chortle that it 'abides by basic cable television common practice in the US in using bleeps to cover profanity in its programmes.' But Armstrong, speaking at the South Bank Sky Arts Awards, said: 'I think if it's on quite late at night people know what they're getting and it's part of the programme. I think it's an error probably. We always wanted to do something that was behind the scenes in politics and part of that is that people use a lot of swearing in high-pressure situations. I think it's a shame.' Writer Simon Blackwell, who also worked on the show, tweeted: 'Apparently BBC America bleeped The Thick of It. Must have sounded like a lorry reversing into a heart monitor.' BBC America scheduled the third series of The Thick of It to coincide with HBO's launch of Veep, which is set in the office of a fictional female vice-president.

BBC Books is to republish another batch of classic Doctor Who novelisations this month, with introductions by writers including Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss. The six books, republished in paperback on 10 May and priced at £4.99, comprise one story each for the first three Doctors, plus all three together in The Three Doctors and two stories based on the TV adventures of Tom Baker as the Fourth Doctor. Titles are The Tenth Planet, The Ice Warriors, The Day of the Daleks (the first book yer actual Keith Telly Topping ever read, whilst on holiday in the Isle of Wight in 1975), The Three Doctors, The Ark in Space and The Loch Ness Monster (based on the 1975 TV story Terror of the Zygons). The selection was made via a poll on the Doctor Who Facebook page. The new books retain Chris Achilleos' artwork, as featured on the original books published by Target. In his introduction to The Ark in Space – a novelisation of the 1975 story, starring Tom Baker - current Doctor Who showrunner Steven Moffat writes: 'Doctor Who covers were masterpieces. Frequently, the most thrilling visualisation of a Doctor Who story wouldn't be on the telly, it would be on the front cover of the book that came after. How I'd stare at those covers.' Moffat also discusses the standing of Who writer Terrance Dicks as the master of the novelisation: 'In the days before DVD, even before video, his books were the exact equivalent. They were Doctor Who TV serials you could keep on your shelf. Utterly faithful, not just to the detail of the narrative and dialogue, but to the feel and the atmosphere and even the pace. In precise, zingy prose, he'd turn a projector on in your head and you'd be watching the show again.' But although Dicks wrote three of the newly republished books – The Day of the Daleks, The Three Doctors and The Loch Ness Monster – he didn't write The Ark in Space. Moffat recalls how, as a young Who fan, he was amazed to find the novelisation of The Ark in Space – which Moffat describes as 'the paradigm Doctor Who script' – was adapted from Robert Holmes's script by the actor Ian Marter, who had played Harry Sullivan in that and other stories. 'It was brilliant,' Moffat says of the book version. 'All the hinted-at horror was leaping and sliming and glooping off the page.' In his introduction to The Ice Warriors by Brian Hayles, Mark Gatiss writes: 'Show a copy of any one of these glorious novelisations to people of a certain age and they are transported back to a simpler, cosier age. Some of my memories of them are imprinted with Proustian clarity, like my very own, Time Lord-flavoured Madeleine cakes.' Yep. 'It became a wonderful ritual, saving pocket money, then deciding which Target book to go for.' Yep. Mark, mate, we've lived the same life. Which is, in my case at least, really sad! You writer Sherlock, I write a blog. 'I devoured them. Not literally. Although I did live in the north and was always hungry.' See! Other introductions in the new series have been written by Tom MacRae, yer actual Gary Russell, Alastair Reynolds and Michael Moorcock.

The names of the first one hundred LPs of the late DJ John Peel's record collection have been published online. The John Peel Centre, in Stowmarket, is behind the project, called The Space, which aims to recreate the late broadcaster's home studio and library. Peel, who died in 2004, had a collection of about twenty five thousand vinyl LPs. The names of about one hundred will be added in alphabetical order each week. Among the first artists are ABBA, ABC, AC/DC and Adam & The Ants. The website does not allow users to listen to the LPs but there will be links to other websites which offer this. There should be two thousand six hundred LP names put online by October, which is the period covered by Arts Council funding for the project. The website also features a video interview with Mike Absalom, a singer-songwriter, poet and artist whose Save The Last Gherkin For Me (1968) was 001 in Peel's card index system. Eye Film & Television, based in Norwich, has produced new films for the project and digitised the album covers and Peel's index cards. Charlie Gauvain, Eye's managing director, said: 'These cards have been scanned, often with typos, so we have tried to make it personal and make it feel the way that John kept his LPs. People will be able to trawl through the site, find a lot of information, link out and start lots of discussions, but the whole thing is about introducing people to stuff they hadn't heard of.' Andrew Stringer, a director of the John Peel Centre, said: 'This is just the first step and a fantastic portal to give the career of John Peel the justice it deserves. Whether people listened to his shows or not, their social history has been influence by him because nothing was deemed "out of the box" and it encouraged people to expand their horizons. Would punk have been the movement it was without John? I very much doubt it.' Damn straight.

Roy Hodgson has been appointed England manager on a four-year contract. Which is not only good - he's an excellent coach with a very impressive track record of managing at the highest level internationally and in any other country that wasn't so absurdly parochial, he'd've been the national team coach years ago - but, also, hilarious funny as well. Take, of instance, the BBC's Dan Roan who on the Ten O'Clock News on Sunday evening ridiculously claimed that Hodgson - a man who has, let's remember, managed Internazionale twice - has only had 'one high profile job, Liverpool.' This blogger is also hugely impressed with the way that the Sun has already started it's campaign of hated towards Hodgson with Tuesday's headline, mocking his speech impediment. One is sure, of course, that all of their mothers are all really proud of them. I mean, they work for single 'rouge' reporter phone-hacking News International, for a kick-off, what's not to love? (The Sun, of course, has plenty of previous form when it comes to England coaches. Gentle humour is often kicked aside in favour of outright hostility. Affection quickly turns into nasty character assassination. Kevin Keegan, a previous example of 'the People's Choice' was given a torrid time following an initial honeymoon period when he held the post. Even 'national treasure' Bobby Robson was the subject of near enough eight years of vile and obnoxious, highly personal, negative coverage when he was England boss. Note that the Sun also calls Hodgson 'a shock choice.' This is journalistic code for rank hubris - the paper not only didn't get its own choice - Harry Redknapp was 'sensationally spurned' it said the day before - but it also didn't sniff out the real story. The paper's leader, Good luck, Roy, points out that Hodgson 'wasn't the nation's choice' - meaning, he wasn't a few journalist at the Sun's choice - but 'we can't blame him for not being 'Arry.' Even though, one senses, they will if things don't go well at the Euros. So, it offers Hodgson some crass faint praise: '[England] need a no-nonsense English boss with motivational and communication skills. Roy has both. We're not betting the farm on England winning the Euros. But Roy may still surprise us ... and good luck to him.') The West Bromwich Albino boss succeeds Fabio Capello after talks with the Football Association on Monday and Tuesday. He will remain in charge of The Baggies for their last two games of the Premier League season. The sixty four-year-old will lead his country after managing eighteen teams, including three national sides, during a coaching career spanning thirty six years. Hodgson's contract at West Brom runs out on 30 June but the Premier League club said they have agreed to release him after their final game of the season on 13 May so he can prepare for Euro 2012. England have two friendlies, at Norway on 26 May and home to Belgium on 2 June, before their first match in the tournament in Poland and Ukraine against France on 11 June. The Football Association said in a statement it was 'delighted' to announce the appointment of Hodgson, whose contract also covers the 2014 World Cup and Euro 2016. 'Hodgson has won a total of eight league titles in a distinguished career, and coached the national teams of Switzerland, Finland and the United Arab Emirates,' it added. 'Along with his vast experience of international and European football, Hodgson is the only English manager currently working in the top flight to have won the League Managers' Association Manager of the Year award.' The FA announced on Sunday it had approached Hodgson for the job despite widepsread speculation linking Stottingtot Hotshots boss Now-Not-So-Happy Harry Redknapp with the vacancy after Capello quit in February. Redknapp was, allegedly, 'The People's Choice' although, as a fully paid up member of 'the people' this blogger doesn't recall ever been asked about this. In fact, I don't know where this idea that Redknapp is 'The People's Choice' comes from. Oh, no, hang on, yes I do. It comes from a bunch of odious, arse-licking journalists in Fleet Street and Sky Sports who couldn't wait to hold a coronation for their mate Happy Harry. Scum like the Daily Lies thoroughly odious brown-tongue-rimming Brian Woolnough, the cheerleader-in-chief for Redknapp, and the Torygraph's Paul Heyward who, six weeks ago on Soccer Supplement boldly claimed that the FA had 'a shortlist of one, and it's Harry Redknapp.' Frankly, anything that makes clowns like those - and plenty of others (the Scum Mail's Martin Samuels, for one) - look small, clueless and insignificant, is to be celebrated. Loudly. Hodgson guided Switzerland to the 1994 World Cup and the side achieved a FIFA ranking of third in the world as they qualified for Euro 1996. His former clubs include, as mentioned, Inter Milan, Blackburn Rovers, Grasshoppers of Zurich, FC Copenhagen, Fulham (whom he took to a UEFA Cup final just three years ago) and Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws. He has also managed successfully in Norway and Sweden, and been a member of FFIA and UEFA's technical study groups at tournaments. Hodgson leaves West Brom after fifteen months at the club. Chairman Jeremy Peace said: 'We did not want Roy to leave and he will be a tough act to follow. But we understand Roy's desire to take the England job and he will leave us after the Arsenal game on 13 May with our best wishes. Of course, with Euro 2012 around the corner, we appreciate that some of Roy's focus over the next twelve days will be on England matters. But we are delighted he will be seeing the season out with us. The board will now concentrate on the important task of appointing a new head coach to continue our project as we prepare for a third successive season in the Premier League.' BBC presenter and former England striker Gary Lineker, who'd already said on Twitter than he felt Redknapp was 'the best man for the job', claims now that Hodgson is 'a solid choice' who has the experience to get the best out of a team. He said: 'I think Roy is a safe pair of hands, I think the FA would have recognised that. He's a very likeable guy, very authoritative and very knowledgeable about the game. He clearly has bags of experience, all over the world and at all sorts of levels of football. He has tactical nous and he understands how to get the best out of his team and players. He has enjoyed mixed success at various clubs. He has done a terrific job at West Brom, did excellently at Fulham where he led them to a European final, yet it did not quite happen for him at Liverpool and way back at Blackburn.' Sir Geoff Hurst feels Hodgson is well qualified but that Redknapp was the 'outstanding candidate' for the national job. Exactly why he feels this, since Redknapp has no international experience and had only one FA Cup victory in his trophy cabinet (whilst manager of Portsmouth) he doesn't make clear. Hurst, who scored a hat-trick as England beat West Germany in the 1966 World Cup final (and, has lived off the reputation ever since), said: 'I thought Harry was probably the outstanding candidate at the time because he has had success with Tottenham at a higher level. Roy has managed in the Europa League and also at international level, which is also good experience, but what Harry has achieved at Spurs in the last three or four years as been quite remarkable.' Has it? What's he done, exactly? What's he won? Meanwhile, check out New Staesman's Ten Things You Need To Know About Roy Hodgson. I particularly like number ten, myself.

And, so to yer actual Keith Telly Topping's 45 of the Day. Here's some more cockney chancers making an 'orrible noise on TV.

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

As Far As I'm Concerned Each Day's A Rainy Day

BBC2's acclaimed, award-winning sitcom Rev is 'likely' to return for a third series, a report suggests. The comedy stars Tom Hollander as Adam Smallbone, a vicar who relocates from a rural parish in Suffolk to an inner-city London church. BBC2 is 'in negotiations' with Big Talk Productions to recommission the series, TVWise reports. A BBC spokesperson said: 'BBC2 is very keen for Rev to return and we are currently discussing the possibility of a third series.' Olivia Colman and Miles Jupp also star in Rev, which concluded its second series in December last year. The show won the award for best sitcom at the 2011 British Academy Television Awards and has been nominated again this year.

He is the five hundred thousand pound star judge drafted in to make The Voice a hit with da kidz. But Will.i.am's healthy fee does not stop the Black Eyed Peas singer and songwriter from using his phone to send text messages – during a live Saturday night episode. Will.i.am was, reportedly, 'given a ticking off' by BBC 'bosses' (that's 'producers' in tabloid speak ... except this story also appeared in, of all placed, the odious slimy, trouble-making Gruniad Morning Star) after being caught using his mobile phone during Saturday's first live show, according to the Daily Scum Express and the Daily Lies. Fellow judge Tom Jones might take note: no one could accuse Will.i.am of being out of touch.

Former head of BBC1 Michael Grade had been talking about Doctor Who, discussing the reasons for putting the show on hold in 1986 and the events leading up to the return of the series in 2005. In the BBC Radio 2 show, On The Box, Grade tells the inside story of Britain's television industry as seen from his personal viewpoint. In this weeks edition, Dishing the Dirt, he talks to key players involved in the decisions about the show, including Jonathan Powell, who was Controller of BBC1 when the series was axed and Lorraine Heggessey who held that role when the series came back in 2005. Heggessey tells of the difficulties bringing the show back, with the rights being held by BBC Worldwide, but how she was determined to succeed. 'I just remembered it as an iconic show' she said, 'I wanted popular drama at the heart of Saturday night.'
In the programme Grade talks about the 'dislike' he felt for the series in 1986, which he felt was 'dated and past its prime.' He remembers how he was awarded the Horse's Ass award by Doctor Who fans in America, an award which he still has sitting in his loo. Also in the programme Grade talks to former showrunner Russell Davies, BBC executive Jane Tranter and former Executive Producer Mal Young, as well as current showrunner Steven Moffat who discusses about the expectations for the show as it approaches the fiftieth anniversary next year. 'It is a concern to stamp the word fifty on a series because it should be brand new every few years. But its great as it does give you an excuse for a party and an excuse to take over television again.'
A report by MPs into allegations of phone-hacking at the Scum of the World is due to be published on Tuesday. The cross-party Commons Media Committee questioned journalists and bosses at the now closed paper, as well as police and lawyers for hacking victims. Its report will consider the role of James Murdoch the small, who has denied knowing of wrongdoing at the paper, and other former News International executives. The committee of MPs began its inquiry in July 2011 in the wake of fresh newspaper revelations about the extent of hacking at the tabloid newspaper, with reported victims including the murdered schoolgirl Milly Dowler and the families of victims of the 7/7 London bombings. Murdoch the small told the Commons Media Committee last summer that he 'did not see' an e-mail which suggested that hacking was more widespread at the paper than previously acknowledged - a claim disputed by the Scum of the World's former editor Colin Myler and its former legal manager Tom Crone in their evidence. Murdoch the small, who was among those recalled to give evidence, has said he did not know about any wrongdoing but took 'his share' of responsibility for not uncovering it earlier. He gave evidence alongside his father Rupert, who at one point during the hearing was attacked by a man who rushed forward from the public gallery and threw a paper plate of foam, which hit the elder Murdoch's skin and clothes. That particular appearance was also the occasion which the News Corporation chairman and founder described as the most humble day of his life. The Conservative MP who heads the media committee, John Whittingdale, has indicated the report would 'seek to address the central issue' of whether there was a cover-up at the newspaper and whether statements made to the committee by witnesses were correct. 'We have been looking at whether Parliament was misled and who did so if that was the case,' he told the BBC's Daily Politics last Thursday. After initially claiming that malpractice was limited to one 'rogue' reporter at the Scum of the World, a story they stuck to for over four years, News International has now settled dozens of civil cases admitting liability for hacking between 2001 and 2006. More than six thousand possible victims have been identified and the police have so far made a number of arrests in connection with an investigation reopened in January 2011 - although no charges have yet been brought. The hacking revelations led to the closure of the Scum of the World and the government's decision to set up a judicial inquiry into press standards headed by Lord Leveson. Appearing before the Leveson inquiry last week, Rupert Murdoch said that there had been a 'cover-up' which 'shielded' senior figures at the paper and its parent company - including himself and his son - from 'knowledge of wrongdoing' taking place. Among others cross-questioned by MPs during their inquiry included former News International chief executive and well-known Crystal Tipps lookalike Rebekah Brooks, former NI chairman Les Hinton and former Met Police deputy commissioner Champagne John Yates - who decided against opening a new hacking inquiry in 2009. The committee, which previously investigated hacking as part of a report into press standards in 2010, has said it was 'unable' to publish its latest report before now due to the amount of evidence that emerged during its public hearings.

Shadow media minister Helen Goodman (no, me neither) has said News Corporation's thirty nine per cent stakeholding in BSkyB was 'a problem' for the broadcaster, which itself had been guilty of behaviour which 'alarmed' her. Goodman said that BSkyB, which is currently being investigated by media regulator Ofcom as to whether it is a 'fit and proper' owner of a broadcast licence (or, indeed, a fit and proper organiser of a piss up in a brewery) due to the News Corp phone-hacking scandal, was a 'very effective broadcaster which broadcasts a lot of good programmes' and employed a 'lot of extremely able and capable people.' And Kay Burley. But, she said: 'It is a problem when the corporate control is in the hands of the same people who are clearly not running their newspapers properly. That must raise question marks for people.' No shit, Helen? Goodman was speaking at a Voice of the Listener and Viewer spring conference in Central London on Monday, a day after the shadow lack of culture secretary, Mad Hattie Harman, called for News Corp to be 'stripped' of its stake in BSkyB. Goodman said that the satellite broadcaster had 'issues of its own' to address after a Sky News journalist hacked into e-mails belonging to John Darwin, the 'canoe man' who faked his own death, a matter that is also being investigated by Ofcom. 'There are more problems at News Corp than there are at Sky,' Goodman said in an interview with BBC Radio 4 Media Show presenter Steve Hewlett. 'I was rather alarmed myself to hear that people at Sky News had been hacking e-mails. That was rather unfortunate. There was clearly a pattern of illegal and corrupt behaviour [at the Scum of the World]; maybe in Sky this was just one-off unfortunate. I don't think the issues relating to Sky are anything like that [relating to News Corp]. The reason Harriet said it is because of the relationship between the two. I don't think the two are indivisible ... I don't think the scale of the issues at Sky can be compared to those at News Corp.' Goodman claimed that the lack of culture secretary the vile and odious rascal Hunt, in his office's dealings with News Corp in the run-up to its aborted attempt to take over BSkyB, had 'facilitated insider dealing. If he is in a quasi-judicial role and he is having private conversations and he tells parliament that he is giving us all the information and he hasn't, and he gives them information about what his decisions are before he tells everybody else, which facilitates insider dealing as well, I think that's a serious problem for him,' she added. 'It is very significant that what he did was coach News Corp in how to deal with what he was being told by his officials and by Ofcom.' She added: 'We said all along that we thought [the takeover] would give one organisation too much influence and that we were not convinced by the effectiveness of the Chinese wall and undertakings [about Sky News] which News Corp was offering. 'The point is that he did not act in a quasi-judicial role. What he did was coach News Corp in how to get what they wanted.'

Former Conservative cabinet minister Michael Portillo is to present a documentary about cuts to the UK railway network for BBC Radio 4. Mister Portaloo will present One Way Ticket: The Beeching Cuts Revisited for Archive on Radio 4 on Saturday at 20:00. It will examine the cuts to the network recommended by Richard Beeching, chairman of the British Railways Board, in 1965. Portillo also presents the - really rather good - BBC2 series Great British Railway Journeys. As part of the Radio programme, Portillo travels along the Settle to Carlisle line, which lost many of its stations during the Beeching era. He also hears from former transport ministers about the impact Beeching's plans have had on government rail plans and policy over the past five decades. The programme is being made by independent production company Made in Manchester. Producer Ashley Byrne said: 'Michael loves the railways and his passion for their history and heritage really comes through in this programme.' It's noticeable that, since he left parliament, old Mr Portaloo appears to have turned himself into not only a broadcaster of some quality but also, as a bonus, apparently a rather decent human being as well. One wonders if that'll work for the vile and odious rascal Hunt when he, also, gets the tin-tack.

The BBC will broadcast wall-to-wall coverage of the London Olympic games but fans of Olympic sports such as badminton and hockey should make the most of it as minority sports are 'unlikely' to be given airtime after the last medal has been awarded. Fairly obviously, as they're 'minority'. As in 'not many people watch them.' London 2012 coverage will dominate the schedules for just over two weeks from 27 July, with eighteen hours of coverage a day on BBC1 between 6am and midnight, and fourteen hours a day on digital channel BBC3 between 9am and 11pm. BBC1's peaktime shows such as EastEnders – which will be part of the Olympic torch relay, the first fictional place to welcome the flame – will be shifted en masse to BBC2, with BBC4 also an Olympics-free zone. But the BBC's director of London 2012, Roger Mosey, said it was a 'big challenge' to get minority sports on air outside of the Olympics. 'The truth is, if you look at [the 2004 Olympics in] Athens, badminton got eight million viewers, hockey six and a half million. We did try to play badminton and hockey outside of the Olympics and then it gets five hundred thousand people watching,' he told the Voice of the Listener and Viewer conference in London on Monday. It is a big challenge to sustain that level of interest.' He added that the BBC would do all it could to provide information on relevant websites for people who wanted to take up sports, such as badminton, that they watched at the Olympics. Mosey added: 'Though I hate the phrase minority sports – some minority sports like curling are huge in the Winter Olympics – they are simply not [at other times of year].' Hard to argue with that, you know. And, this blogger says that as somebody who does, genuinely, enjoy watching both badminton and hockey, and quite a few other minority sports as well. I still prefer football and cricket, though. It doesn't make me a bad person. The BBC Trust recently said the BBC's news and sport station, Radio 5Live, should do more to cover 'non-mainstream and minority sports' after it found up to two-thirds of its sport output in 2010-11 was football-focused. Mosey said the Olympic flame was due to arrive in Walford on EastEnders in 23 July. He said that he was hoping it would be the 'first time EastEnders will be simulcast on the BBC News channel.' The run-up to the Olympics will also see Olympics editions of Absolutely Fabulous – featuring a guest appearance by Dame Kelly Holmes – and the return of BBC2 Olympics-themed sitcom, Twenty Twelve. Mosey said the 2012 Cultural Olympiad, in which the BBC is taking part, was 'one of the tougher sells' of the Olympics, with awareness of it 'relatively low' at about ten per cent of the population. He added that it was intended to show that Olympian performances were not just in sport but the arts too. The 1948 Olympics in London was the last where medals were awarded for artistic endeavours. Mosey said the BBC would not publish details about how much it had spent on coverage of the games until after they had finished because it was 'very difficult to disentangle normal business from specific games spending.' On recent comments by former BBC executive Sir Paul Fox that the BBC had 'not done enough' to protect its portfolio of sports rights, and that this Olympics would be the BBC's last, Mosey said: 'The BBC has just retained Wimbledon, Six Nations Rugby. It is absolutely the case that you cannot expect the BBC to have the sport portfolio it had when Paul Fox was running sport because you have Sky and properly a vigorous market out there. What you have got to imagine is what if the Olympics were behind a paywall? What if you had to pay a subscription to get the Olympics? That seems to us to be an enormously bad idea and that's why we support the listed events legislation, [and] public access and digital public spaces is what the audiences want.' The corporation will also film some parts of the games in 'super hi-vision', sixteen times the quality of HD television, which will not be in living rooms until 2024 but can be sampled by viewers at centres in London, Glasgow and Bradford, Mosey said. Check out the beach volleyball on that, it'll be stunning.

Meanwhile, the BBC's director of news has urged staff not to strike during the Queen's diamond jubilee celebrations in early June, arguing that industrial action would fail licence fee payers during a historic national event. In a pointed e-mail to staff, Helen Boaden warned that viewers 'would not tolerate' any disruption to the corporation's coverage of the diamond jubilee. Boaden, who is understood to have applied for the BBC director general job, also took a swipe at broadcasting rivals by saying there was 'nothing some of our competitors would like more than to see the BBC fail its audiences at a major national moment.' BBC staff were on Monday balloted over possible strike action to coincide with the Buckingham Palace celebrations in June. Broadcasting unions called for industrial action over the corporation's 'derisory' one per cent annual pay offer. Boaden said in the e-mail: 'There was an interesting UK newspaper response to our Trades Unions' threat to call industrial action to upset the BBC's Jubilee coverage. Some were hostile to say the least; others scornful. There is nothing some of our competitors would like more than to see the BBC fail its audiences at a major national moment. It would allow them to depict us as indifferent to the people who pay for us.' Boaden claimed that she 'respected the right' of BBC staff to ballot over strike action - which it big of her since it's a legal right of every working man or woman in a democracy with withhold their labour if they feel their employers are not giving them a fair deal - and that it would put many workers in 'a dilemma.' She added: 'But I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't make a few observations about why in the long term, I believe that such action would be damaging to all of us and to the BBC we love. For most people this is genuinely an age of austerity; the UK economy has just slipped back into recession; many people fear for their jobs – including of course, people in BBC News; there is a kind of collective anxiety about the place which is more apparent the further from London you travel. Against that background, I don't think our licence fee payers are in any mood to tolerate us even suggesting that for our own interests, we should damage BBC output. The union ballot will put many of you in a dilemma. I appreciate that and fully understand that what you do must always be a matter for your conscience. But as I often say when discussing programmes, we can't sack the audience but they can sack us… not least by losing faith in us. BBC News has unique responsibilities to our many different audiences. In your frustration about pay, please don't make the mistake of taking them for granted.' Boaden is understood to be one of the internal candidates vying to be Mark Thompson's successor as director general, alongside chief operating officer Caroline Thompson and director of vision George Entwistle. The BBC declined to comment on Boaden's e-mail. The corporation said in an earlier statement that it was 'disappointed' that UNITE, BECTU and the NUJ had asked its members to strike over the pay dispute. Michelle Stanistreet, general secretary of the NUJ, said the unions were calling for industrial action 'not out of self-interest, but because we love the BBC.'

Sam Spruell has described BBC1's forthcoming thriller series Mayday as 'a weird The Killing.' Errr ... isn't that, The Killing?! Written by Ben Court and Caroline Ip from the Whitechapel writing team, the five-part drama also stars Sophie Okonedo, Peter Firth and Aidan Gillen. Spruell will next be seen starring as Finn alongside Chris Hemsworth and Kristen Stewart in this summer's adventure movie Snow White and the Huntsman, released in UK cinemas on 1 June. Speaking to the CultBox website, Spruell talked about Mayday and revealed: 'It's got a very strange tone. It's not like anything I've read in a while. It's just a little bit off, it's a bit spooky. It's set in the country and it's a bit like a weird The Killing.' He continued: 'It's got a really weird unique tone and it's the kind of thing that could go really well or could not get enough viewers to make its mark, but you've got a try to produce new ideas. There's a murder in a village and it's about the village's façade falling away.'

The BBC have released a trail which will run across BBC Television for the Olympic torch relay. The trailer features the specially commissioned music that the BBC will use for the Olympics. Elbow produced the song, 'First Steps', featuring the BBC Philharmonic Orchestra, a school choir from Elbow's old school and the London Community Gospel Choir. The full song will be released nearer the time of the games and the music will be used for the opening titles of BBC coverage. The trail will also feature as a promotion in a special The ONE Show on 18 May when the torch arrives in the UK.

Former Destiny's Child singer Kelly Rowland will not return as an X Factor judge when the show resumes later this year, her spokesperson has confirmed. 'Kelly has not been able to agree a deal that fits into her autumn/winter schedule so sadly cannot accept a place on the 2012 panel,' they added. The US singer said that being a mentor on the ITV show had been 'an incredible experience' and a 'great opportunity.' Take That's Gary Barlow recently confirmed that he would return. It is not yet known whether Tulisa Contostavlos and Louis Walsh will join him on the panel. Rowland's representatives cited 'global commitments, scheduling issues' and the show's 'increasing demands' among the reasons for her departure. Some tabloid newspapers had speculated that the thirty one-year-old's remuneration had also proved a sticking point. An X Factor spokesperson said the line-up would be announced 'in due course. Kelly's immense experience in the music industry shone through in both her judging and mentoring on The X Factor,' the spokesperson continued. 'We would like to thank her for being a part of the country's number one show and wish her well for the future.' The first X Factor auditions in front of the judges are scheduled to take place in Glasgow on 11 June. Wee Shughie McFee, the sour-faced Scottish chef off Crossroads was absent from the judging panel for the first time last year as he concentrated on launching a US version of the show.

Stuart Murphy, the controller of Sky One, has been promoted to director of Sky Entertainment Channels. Murphy will retain his existing role, but also take over responsibility for future strategy of the entire Sky Entertainment portfolio of channels: Sky Atlantic, Sky Arts, Sky1 and Sky Living. The controllers of each channel - Jane Johnson (Sky Living), James Hunt (Sky Arts) and Naomi Gibney (Sky Atlantic) - will now report to Murphy, who will continue to report to Sophie Turner Laing, the managing director of entertainment, news and broadcast operations. Sky has pledged to up its investment in home-grown programming by fifty per cent to six hundred million knicker by 2014. Forthcoming new British content includes another Sir David Attenborough 3D documentary, Kingdom of Plants, and entertainment shows Sinbad, Starlings, Hit and Miss and Playhouse Presents. 'Over the past three years, under Stuart's leadership, we have seen Sky One become a true destination channel, offering our customers some of the finest drama, comedy and entertainment programmes on television at the moment,' said Turner Laing. 'I have no doubt that in his new role, he'll bring the same vision and drive to the rest of the portfolio, working with the team to look at the next steps for the rest of our - first class - entertainment channels.' Murphy said that he was 'properly excited' about the opportunity to oversee Sky Entertainment. 'Getting Sky One HD to where we are today was a real team effort and I can't wait to work with Sophie, the channel heads, the commissioning heads and the indie community to look at how we take the entertainment channels to the next phase,' he said. Alongside overseeing Sky Arts, James Hunt will also now become director of entertainment production, assuming the responsibility from Barbara Gibbon, who has joined Sky Creative as a production director.

It's a show where much of the comedy comes from elaborately constructed swearing. But, The Thick Of It was heavily 'bleeped' when it was broadcast in American this week. Although the political satire went out at midnight, BBC America decided the US public was simply not ready for the stream of F-bombs emanating from the mouth of spin doctor Malcolm Tucker and others. Writer Simon Blackwell wrote on Twitter: 'Apparently BBC America bleeped The Thick Of It. Must have sounded like a lorry reversing into a heart monitor.' Fans immediately took to social media to protest the censorship on the third series. One Helen Burton (whoever she is) wrote on Facebook: 'Why is every other word "beeped"? Everyone knows what they are saying. It is on late so parents can put their kids to bed and watch. This is completely unnecessary.' No shit, Helen. Oh, hang on, we've already one that one, haven't we? Steve Darner (no, again, I'm not sure who Steve is or why the Chortle website is quoting him) added: 'The show is on at midnight here, what ever happened to the adult time watershed? We watched The Thick Of It and fifteen minutes in we deleted the BLEEPING DVR recording. If you are going to air ADULT TV shows during adult hours, then don't edit or censor them.' So, that's you told BBC America. The Steve Darner has spoken. BBC America launched with the third series of the show, featuring Rebecca Front as new minister Nicola Murray, to coincide with the spin-off HBO series Veep, also created by the great Armando Iannucci. It previously aired The Inbetweeners and Skins with all the naughty bad words bleeped out, too. Shocking. Meanwhile, the very notion of journalists trawling around Twitter and Facebook for a couple of 'reaction' quotes - from, you know, 'people you've never heard of' - to support a story has been condemned as 'lazy'. By this blogger. It's like, have you noticed how many times someone relatively famous will die and all of the initial reports will feature three comments from Twitter (one of them usually by Stephen Fry and all of them from people who barely knew the individual involved) about how 'terribly sad' this is? Basically, because the journalist in question is too effing bone idle to get off his or her fat arse and go and speak to somebody who knew the deceased. It's right pisses me off, that's all. In a Malcolm Tucker style.

It's been a decade since [spooks] first appeared on our screens and we got caught up in the extraordinarily tense drama about MI5 agents. Now viewers have the chance to go back to those early days when we had no idea just how shocking the show was going to be – or how ruthlessly it would kill off many favourite characters along the way. (Although to be fair, killing off a - seemingly - recurring character as early as episode two by pushing her face into a deep fat fryer should've given us all a pretty healthy clue.) 'This was espionage drama that didn't just threaten our heroes, it made good on those threats at regular intervals, so you simply never knew who would survive from week to week. Fame was no guarantee of safety either: Matthew Macfadyen and Keeley Hawes starred in the early series but let's just say they didn't exactly last the whole ten years,' says the Gruniad, very inaccurately as it happens. Kelley went off into the sunset with her photographer boyfriend midway through series two and Matthew did survive right to the final episode to do one last, messy, job for Harry. Do some sodding research, Gruniad! Oh no, sorry, that's a ruddy stupid suggestion, isn't it? Sony Entertainment Television (Sky channel 157, Virgin channel 193) is showing the series from the start, beginning on 16 May and continuing every Wednesday at 10pm all the way to the last episode and some bastard's idea of a fun-ending being to kill the divine Ruth Evershed (Nicola Walker). Yes, this blogger is still Goddamn pissed off about that!

International family entertainment producer and distributor DHX Media and its subsidiary Wildbrain Entertainment have signed a deal with UK-based publisher Immediate Media to create magazines for preschoolers based on its hit stop-motion series Rastamouse. An'ting. The deal will see Immediate publish a standalone title every four weeks from June 2012 featuring stories, reward charts, cut-outs, and stickers. The first title comes after CBeebies Magazine published a Rastamouse special issue in February 2012, and follows on the heels of CBeebies greenlighting season two of the musical, mystery series the same month. The series, created by Genevieve Webster and Michael De Souza and developed from the original books published by Little Roots.

English Heritage has defended its decision not to grant actress Dame Thora Hird a commemorative blue plaque. The proposal was rejected because the organisation felt it was 'too soon' to properly assess how she would be viewed 'in ten, fifty or even one hundred years time.' The decision was criticised by figures including actress Maureen Lipman, according to the Scum Mail on Sunday. Dame Thora was born in Morecambe and died at her London nursing home in March 2003 at the age of ninety one. In 2006 a blue plaque was unveiled at the London home by another organisation, the Heritage Foundation, which specifically honours figures from the world of entertainment. Minutes from English Heritage's Blue Plaques Panel meetings are normally not made public until some months have elapsed. At the 19 October meeting, Dame Thora's plaque proposal was rejected as it was 'too soon to make an accurate assessment of her lasting contribution to her field.' English Heritage only considers putting blue plaques on buildings where eminent individuals have lived once they have been dead for twenty years or once the centenary of their birth has passed. 'The panel was very aware of just how much love and admiration there is for one of the best-known British actresses of recent times,' its spokesperson said. 'As Dame Thora had been proposed under the centenary rule, it was felt that it was too soon after her death to know how she will be regarded by future generations.' The much-loved actress was known to millions for such sitcoms as Meet the Wife, In Loving Memory and Last of the Summer Wine.

Faded eighties glam queens Duran Duran are to headline a concert in London's Hyde Park to mark the start of the Olympic Games. The gig will feature acts from all four nations of the UK, with The Duranies representing England and Snow Patrol appearing for Northern Ireland. If you can manage to stay awake through the latter (hard work, I know, but try), Stereophonics will then represent Wales and Paolo Nutini will play for Scotland. Is it really so very wrong of this blogger to hope that Simon Le Bon manages to screw up 'View To A Kill' just like he did the last time he had a global audience? Yeah. Probably. It's was funny, though. (It occurs, incidentally, at two minutes and fifty three seconds into the clip if you don't want to sit through the whole thing.)

This has been the wettest April in the UK for over one hundred years, with some areas seeing three times their usual average, figures from the Met Office show. Some 121.8mm of rain has fallen, beating the previous record of 120.3mm which was set in 2000. Flood warnings are in place with up to twenty to thirty millimetres of rain forecast for southern England on Monday night. A fifty two-year-old man has died after his car became submerged at a ford south of Newbury following heavy rain. The man and his dog died when a Toyota Yaris was trapped in 'five feet of fast-flowing water' as it drove across the ford on Thornford Road, Compton Wood. The Badminton Horse Trials, in Gloucestershire, have been cancelled for only the second time in their history because of a waterlogged course. The Met Office has issued an amber warning for severe weather in south-west England, east of England, London and south-east England and the Midlands overnight. It says further flooding is possible and driving conditions may be difficult. There are thirty seven flood warnings in place, including twenty in south-west England and a handful each in the Midlands, north-east England and East Anglia. There are also one hundred and fifty five 'less serious' alerts. The Environment Agency is remaining on high alert for flooding into Tuesday across southern England, but particularly in Somerset, Dorset and Devon, a spokeswoman said. 'River flows are high after this weekend's rainfall and we are keeping a close watch on river levels as well as checking defences and clearing any potential blockages to reduce the risk of flooding,' she said. Tewkesbury, which suffered severe flooding five years ago, is among the areas affected by heavy rain, with flood alerts in place for every river in Somerset. The figures up to 29 April show the amount of rain which has fallen is almost double the long term average for April of 69.6mm, in records dating back to 1910. The Met Office said six of its weather stations had seen more than three times their usual monthly average this April. Liscombe, on Exmoor in Somerset, has seen the most rainfall, with 273.8mm of rain compared with its 86.4mm average. Much of the rain has been focused on the south of the UK, with England recording more rainfall than Scotland. Prestwick in Ayrshire has seen just 39.2mm of rain and Skye has had just over half of its monthly rainfall - with 52mm of its 99.5mm average. It is in stark contrast to March, which was the fifth driest on record with 36.4mm of rain compared to the average of 95.9mm. Despite the heavy rain, swathes of England are still in drought, with warnings that the downpours were not enough to counteract the effects of two unusually dry winters. A spokesman for the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs said: 'While we welcome the rain we have received recently, we cannot be complacent and still need everyone to save water where they can.'

And, so to yer actual Keith Telly Topping's 45 of the Day. Which, after the last bit of news, seems horribly appropriate, actually.