Friday, February 03, 2012

Pride Can Hurt You Too

He's more evil than Frank Foster, has more screws loose than Tony Gordon and now he's back in Weatherfield. Jack and Vera's wayward offspring, Terry, played once again by Nigel Pivaro, will return to Coronation Street in the spring, unaware that the son he sold is now living in the neighbourhood. His explosive comeback 'will cause shock waves with the residents' when his reasons for returning are revealed. Producer Phil Collinson said: 'I'm very excited to be welcoming arch villain Terry Duckworth back to Coronation Street. I grew up watching him duck and dive and break his parents' hearts - a deliciously evil performance from Nigel Pivaro. This time, though, he'll not only be blighting the life of his son, Tommy, but the lives of every resident of Coronation Street with a typically audacious scheme.' Terry was last seen in Weatherfield on the day of his mother Vera's funeral in January 2008. Tyrone contacted him following Jack's death in 2010, but Terry couldn't even be bothered to attend his own father's funeral. But now he's back and Tommy is about to find out the truth about his errant dad.

New drama Inside Men premiered to more than 4.5m on BBC1 on Thursday, according to overnight figures. The Steven Mackintosh show had an audience of 4.54m in the 9pm hour, comfortably beating its competition. In the same timeslot, ITV's notorious flop Eternal Law could only muster 2.72m, a series low. Elsewhere on BBC1, Motorway Cops averaged 3.78m from 8pm. On the multi-channels, Sky1's Mad Dogs was watched by six hundred and sixty thousand from 9pm.

UKTV's entertainment channel WATCH has revealed their new on-air logo ahead of a rebrand next month. The new logo will 'fit with a distinctive and refined identity for the channel.' New shows coming to WATCH this spring include JJ Abrams’ Alcatraz, starring Sam Neill, Santiago Cabrera and Jorge Garcia, and dark SF thriller Grimm.
Appropriate Adult, ITV's dramatisation of the arrest of serial killer Fred West, has picked up best single drama at the Broadcast awards in London. The Hour actor Dominic West starred in the two-parter as West, who killed himself in prison in 1995 after being arrested and charged with eleven murders. Coronation Street was named best soap and Downton Abbey continued its recent run of awards with best drama series. Sky 1 was named channel of the year. BBC3's Our War, a series marking the ten-year anniversary of the war in Afghanistan, picked up two awards for best documentary series and best multichannel programme. The Trip, starring Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon, was named best new programme (even though it was broadcast in 2010) and the best music programme went to BBC3's Frankenstein's Wedding - a reimagining of Mary Shelley's classic horror tale, mixing drama and dance. E4 series, and subsequent box office hit, The Inbetweeners was awarded with best comedy programme, while Sky News received a commendation for The Fall of Tripoli - its coverage of the unfolding events in Libya, which led to the overthrow of Colonel Gaddafi. In the children's programming categories, there were awards for CBeebies' Rastamouse and ITV's Grizzly Tales. Magician Dynamo picked up his first TV award, winning best entertainment programme for Dynamo: Magician Impossible on Watch.
Many years ago, dear blog reader, back when satellite TV was a new-fangled novelty, yer actual Keith Telly Topping had a BSB squariel (no, really) and UK Gold first started showing old episodes of Top of the Pops (around 1993 ish) the very first episode to be shown was the one from 27 January 1977, introduced by yer actual sensational Tony Blackburn. It was the same episode which BBC4 broadcast this Thursday in their run of Top of the Pops 1977. Yer actual Keith Telly Topping recalls taping it just for the sheer novelty of having an old - full - episode of Top of the Pops in his video collection. It was a pretty naff episode, to be honest - the fag-end of the pre-punk era; Barry Biggs in a nasty pink suit doing 'Sideshow', David Parton massacring 'Isn't She Lovely' and one of the few TV appearances by one-hit wonders Mr Big notwithstanding. But it was especially memorable for the opening sequence of The Brothers (the band that is, not the BBC's 1970s soap opera about a haulage firm), another one-hit wonder, doing their only hit - the annoyingly catchy 'Sing Me.' Nice burned-orange thread, guys.
It was made even more memorable by a truly remarkable bit of 'you'd never get away with that these days' casual crassness from Tony Blackburn himself when, after The Brothers had finished, he noted: 'They are, in fact, real-life brothers. They come all the way from Mauritius, but they've been over here for fourteen years now!' Oh, so that's all right then! I dunno, them Mauritians, they come over here, they take our charts by storm ...
Actually, that's being somewhat unkind to yer actual Tony Blackburn who was, and a lot of people forget this, one of the first great champions of black music - specifically soul - on the BBC. (John Peel used to tell an amusing story about the arguments that he and Tone would get into back in the early days of Radio 1 about which types of music from that era would survive. Tone insisted it would be the Tamla Motown stuff, Peelie thought it was going to be The Quicksilver Messenger Service! Tone, of course, was right.) And, in fact, if you check the video clip of The Brothers performance in one shot you can clearly see Wor Tone throwing some serious shapes (or, rather, 'dancing like a geography teacher at a Sixth Form Disco') in the background. Nevertheless, that - unconscious - patronising bit of useless information about the chaps' ethnic background to the audience does highlight that the world of 2011 is a very different one from 1977. And not always, whatever the Daily Scum Mail might say to the contrary, for the worse.

Now magazine has released a statement about its recent interview with MC Harvey. The So Solid Crew rapper made a series of claims about a 'secret relationship' with Cheryl Cole in the issue dated 6 February, which The Heaton Horror has since furiously denied. However, the publication has said that it will defend itself, adding that Harvey himself had released a statement standing by his comments. A statement published Now's website on Thursday read: 'We completely and wholeheartedly stand by our exclusive and refute any accusation that it contains untruths. Michael Harvey himself released a statement earlier this week standing by what he revealed in his interview in Now magazine. The article is not defamatory and was published in good faith - we will strongly defend it.' It has been reported that Cole is considering legal action over Harvey's claims.

Channel Four bosses are reportedly preparing to axe E4 'dramality' Desperate Scousewives after only one series. The broadcaster has insisted that 'no decision' has been made on the Liverpool-based show's future, but according to the Daily Lies, desperately poor ratings for the show and the fact that it 'failed to catch on' like The Only Way Is Essex, Made in Chelsea and Geordie Shore has made the programme's prospects 'bleak.' Amanda Harrington, Gill O'Toole, Jodie Lundstram, Sam Wools, Layla Flaherty, Chloe Cummins, Elissa Corrigan, Jaiden Micheal, Debbie O'Toole, Joe McMahon and Danny Latimer have all featured in Scousewives, but none of the cast have become break-out celebrity-by-non-entity TV regulars like the members of rival scripted reality series. An alleged 'source' allegedly told the alleged tabloid newspaper: 'We had hoped Desperate Scousewives would really give TOWIE a run for its money. But sadly that's not been the case. For whatever reason people have just not warmed to the characters and there hasn't been a great buzz.' It was revealed at last year's Edinburgh TV Festival that Channel Four turned down The Only Way Is Essex when it was shown to them by producers.

Match of the Day pundit Alan Hansen is reportedly in talks with the BBC about a new deal which would keep him on the show, but with a major pay cut. Unbelieveable. There was criticism last year after it emerged that the former Liverpool defender was one of the highest paid people at the BBC, taking home a reported one and a half million smackers a year. His contract is up for renewal at the end of the current season and BBC 'insiders' claim that he will agree to a 'considerable' cut under the new deal, potentially up to five hundred thousand quid. Hansen, started broadcasting soon after he retired from football in 1991. News of him having to agree a pay cut at the BBC may alert Sky Sports to his potential availability, as the Scot started his punditry career at the satellite broadcaster. A BBC spokeswoman said: 'We never discuss talent pay or talent negotiation.'

Very popular with students (though this blogger doesn't know many normal people who think he's in the slightest bit funny) Noel Fielding has been given a second run of his 'surreal' (s'what? s'load of rubbish) E4 series Luxury Comedy. The Mighty Boosh comic's first solo TV project only premiered last week, but Channel Four has already announced plans for a second six-episode run in 2013. Fielding worked with director Nigel Coan on the 'wacky' mixture of live action and animation. 'Delighted to get a second series of Luxury Comedy - we'll definitely make the second one more like a Wednesday morning,' said Fielding. 'Channel Four have been so supportive and given us creative freedom to experiment with ideas and techniques. And I think we can push things further and make something even more out there next time.' Channel Four's commissioning comedy editor Nerys Evans said: 'If series one brought us a talking knife wound and a man with ice-cream for eyes, we can't wait to see where else Noel's comedy mind will take us next.'

The latest Keith Telly Topping's 45 of the Day comes from a popular beat combo of the 1960s, The Be-Atles. You might've heard of them and, indeed, it.

Thursday, February 02, 2012

Pro-Celebrity Dictatorship

A landmark BBC documentary chronicling the difficult and often stormy relationship since 2000 between the butcher of Grosny Vladimir Putin's resurgent Russia and the west has provoked a furious backlash from Russian exiles in Britain, who have accused the programme-makers of 'bias' towards the Russian leader. The four-part BBC2 series, Putin, Russia and the West, which concludes next week, has already attracted condemnation from dissidents who say it displays an unacceptable 'pro-Putin bias', as well as a 'lack of understanding of Russia's recent history.' The documentary's producer, Norma Percy, and the BBC roundly reject the claims. Percy denies that the series portrays Russia's prime minister in too favourable a light and says that series is 'truly objective' and multi-sided. 'We didn't set out to make a pro- or anti-Putin film,' she said, adding her brief was to focus on international affairs rather than Putin's murky domestic record. Part three of the series is to be screened on Thursday. But in a scathing review of episode one, the renowned Soviet dissident Vladimir Bukovsky said the film came across as 'unequivocally pro-Putin.' Its narrative follows the Kremlin's version of history, and resembles 'nothing less than a party political broadcast for Putin and his United Russia party,' he alleged. Bukovsky, who lives in Cambridge, made his hostile comments last week in a blog for the liberal Moscow radio station Echo Moskvy: 'The documentary makes no attempt to illuminate events critically. It turns out to be an utter apology for Putin and his regime,' he says, adding: 'Putin appears as a solid public figure, who keeps all his promises (to his western partners and to Russia's electorate). If Putin had asked his propagandists to come up with a film they couldn't have done better.' Bukovsky spent twelve years incarcerated in Soviet prisons. He has been living in Britain since 1976. He was a friend of Alexander Litvinenko, murdered in 2006 with radioactive polonium. In 2007 Bukovsky tried unsuccessfully to stand in Russia's presidential election. Bukovsky said he was mystified why BBC licence-payers' money was spent on the film, and called for a parliamentary inquiry. Percy is a renowned documentary film-maker whose previous work includes The Death of Yugoslavia. She is known for her tenacious ability to cajole eminent figures to appear on screen, and has won numerous awards. Paul Mitchell directed Putin, Russia and the West, with Brian Lapping the executive producer. The film includes interviews with more than a hundred people in eight different countries, including the former US secretaries of state Colin Powell and Condoleezza Rice and the former German chancellor Gerhard Schröder. Among the Russians are Putin's defence secretary, Sergei Ivanov, and his press spokesman, Dmitry Peskov. Despite initially positive signals from the Kremlin, and months of negotiations, Putin himself refused to appear. Mitchell said reaction from Twitter to the series so far had been overwhelmingly positive, with no complaints that it whitewashed Putin. 'No one said "what a fantastic guy,"' he pointed out. He added that he was saddened by Bukovsky's comments, describing him as 'a saintly figure and a hero of the dissident movement for exposing the Soviet use of psychiatry.' Critics of the series, however, are said to be 'incensed' by an interview with Jonathan Powell, Tony Blair's former chief of staff. In it, Powell admits that a spy 'rock' found in a Moscow park was used by British intelligence officers – a claim originally made by Putin in 2006, to the embarrassment of Downing Street. Last month a pro-Kremlin journalist, Arkady Mamontov, used the Powell footage in a thirty-minute programme shown on Russian state television. Mamontov claimed that Russians working for non-governmental organisations were agents of British intelligence – a smear, activists say, to discredit opposition groups. The rock was shown next to Big Ben, together with clips of 'British spies.' Writing in Monday's Moscow Times, the columnist Victor Davidoff said the timing of the Powell revelation was 'suspiciously good for Putin,' following unprecedented protests against his rule and ahead of next month's presidential election. Davidoff also claims that the BBC film has a pro-Putin bias. It omits several crucial episodes, he says, including the mysterious 1999 apartment bombings which paved the way for Putin's rise. More damaging, perhaps, is the link Davidoff draws between the Kremlin's highly paid US PR firm, Ketchum, and the film. The series consultant, Angus Roxburgh, worked for Ketchum between 2006-2009, advising Peskov on how to improve Russia's dire international image. In his book to accompany the series, The Strongman, Roxburgh writes that the Kremlin invariably ignored his advice. Percy told the Gruniad that her production team had hired Roxburgh 'to get a foot in the door,' and to persuade the notoriously suspicious Kremlin that the BBC series would be genuinely fair-minded. He wasn't involved in the editing, she said, adding that the BBC had 'treated the Russian government in exactly the same way as the American government.' Masha Karp, a former editor at the BBC Russian service, complained of 'glaring gaps' in the overall narrative, with Putin's savage polices in Chechnya glossed over. The series only delves into the 'grave matter of Russian politics' with the story of Mikhail Khodorkovsky, the billionaire oligarch jailed after defying Putin, she says. Karp continues: 'The contrast between the high level of professionalism in the film-making and the lack of understanding of Russia's recent history is striking. There are dozens of deviations from the historical truth, or rather slight distortions. Taken together these steadily add up to create an image of Putin that will by no means be unpleasant to him, and will be quite useful to those in the west who would like to justify their support for him.' Percy, however, insists her subject was Russia's international role during the Putin period, rather than the dynamics of Russia's often depressing internal politics. She rejects Karp's comparison that it's as if the BBC had made a series called Gaddafi, Libya and the West, interviewing only Gaddafi's cronies and loyal advisers. She said: 'It's like making a programme about Gaddafi but before the Arab spring. When the Russian spring happens you talk to the Russian opposition. We show the state in action. We don't use phrases like "mafia state."'
Private investigator and convicted phone-hacking scum Glenn Mulcaire has lost his appeal against two court orders that may force him to reveal exactly who ordered him to hack phones. A High Court panel heard the appeal at the Royal Courts of Justice in November but had reserved its judgement until this week. Mulcaire had appealed to try to avoid having to answer questions in civil proceedings which could incriminate him. After the judgement was handed down, he issued a statement saying he would now take his case to the Supreme Court. Mulcaire said he was pleased the court had recognised the 'long-standing common law privilege against self-incrimination' in its ruling. 'Though it considered that the Act Senior Courts Act 1981 removed my privilege in these two cases, the Court of Appeal considered the arguments put forward on my behalf in great detail in its judgement,' his statement said. 'I intend to appeal this ruling to the Supreme Court because this may affect my right to claim the privilege in other civil cases still being brought against me.' In their ruling, the Lord Chief Justice, Lord Judge, Master of the Rolls Lord Neuberger, and Lord Justice Maurice Kay refused Mulcaire permission to appeal. But the judges granted a stay until 17:00 GMT on Monday 6 February pending an application for permission to the Supreme Court itself. Currently if questioned, Mulcaire would have to explain how he obtained voicemail numbers and passwords and who provided the details. Mulcaire was jailed in January 2007 for six months along with the Scum of the World's royal correspondent Clive Goodman for illegally accessing voicemails of members of the royal household. At the time he surrendered notebooks to the police containing information about phone-hacking. Comedian Steve Coogan and PR consultant Nicola Phillips, a former employee of the publicist Max Clifford, have since launched civil privacy cases against News International, the publisher of the now defunct, disgraced and disgraceful Sunday tabloid. Mulcaire was contracted to the former newspaper to undertake 'research assignments' from at least September 2001.

The Times is being investigated by the Metropolitan Police over allegations of e-mail hacking at the newspaper, it has emerged. It is understood that police are probing recent claims that a former reporter of the Rupert Murdoch-owned paper hacked into the e-mail of an anonymous blogger known as Nightjack. Labour MP Tom Watson (power to the people!) submitted a complaint to deputy assistant commissioner Sue Akers calling on Scotland Yard to look into the allegations. Writing on his Twitter feed, Watson said: 'The Met police have confirmed to me they are investigating Rupert Murdoch's newspaper The Times over e-mail hacking.' Last month, The Times editor James Harding told the Leveson inquiry into press ethics and standards that a former reporter at the paper had been given a written warning for accessing a Hotmail e-mail account, believed to be for the story on Nightjack. In his written statement, Harding said: 'There was an incident where the newsroom was concerned that a reporter had gained unauthorised access to an e-mail account. When it was brought to my attention, the journalist faced disciplinary action. The reporter believed he was seeking to gain information in the public interest but we took the view he had fallen short of what was expected of a Times journalist. He was issued with a formal written warning for professional misconduct.' It is thought that the reporter was graduate trainee Patrick Foster, who had correctly guessed answers to security questions for the anonymous Hotmail account operated by Lancashire police detective Richard Horton. Horton's blog had won the Orwell prize for disclosing details of the life of a serving policeman, but it was shut down after he was 'outed' by The Times in a June 2009 article. The article had claimed that Foster 'deduced' the identity of Nightjack. He was later dismissed from the paper 'following an unrelated incident', and has since worked freelance for the Gruniad and the Daily Torygraph. In his letter to the Metropolitan Police, which was also sent to the Attorney General, Watson said: 'It is clear that a crime has been committed - illicit hacking of personal e-mails. A journalist and unnamed managers failed to report the crime to their proprietor or the police. I must ask that you investigate computer hacking at The Times. In so doing you will also be able to establish whether perjury or conspiracy to pervert the course of justice have also occurred.' It is thought that the investigation is part of Operation Tuleta, the Met Police's probe into allegations of e-mail hacking by newspapers. This is running alongside the Operation Weeting investigation into phone-hacking.

Denise Welch has said that Natalie Cassidy's departure left her 'feeling down' in the final week of Celebrity Big Brother. And we're supposed to, what, feel sorry for her? It was your decision to go in there in the first place, hinny.

Alex Kingston has hinted that River Song could return to Doctor Who. The actress, who will appear in the new series of Upstairs Downstairs, told talk show host Graham Norton that she may resume her Who role. 'You may see her again. Who knows?' she teased. 'Let's just say, Upstairs Downstairs and Doctor Who don't film at the same time.' Kingston also admitted that she had known 'for a very long time' that her character was secretly the daughter of Amy Pond (Karen Gillan). 'I knew for the whole of the last series,' she confessed. '[The other actors] didn't know and they were constantly trying to get it out of me. They discovered it in that episode [A Good Man Goes To War] when they read the script.'

Actor Sir David Jason has said he doubts that his classic sitcom Only Fools and Horses can be a success when it is remade for a US audience. 'They can do brilliant comedy [in America] but I don't see that they can bring off Fools and Horses,' he said. 'I don't see that it will travel across the pond.' The ABC network is to make a pilot for a US version of the series. Sir David was speaking in Huddersfield, where he is directing a pilot for a sitcom called Pearly Gates. The actor played Del Boy in Only Fools and Horses from 1981 to 2003. When asked who should recreate his most famous role, Sir David suggested: 'You would never get him because he's too big but I'd go for Johnny Depp because he's such a good actor.' The exploits of the hapless wheeler-dealer Del Boy and his put-upon brother Rodney made them comedy favourites in the UK, but Jason said he was not convinced that a show with such a British sense of humour could translate. 'It might work but you've got to change it so much that, in the change, in order to Americanise it, do you lose the whole concept of the piece?' Jason said. 'The language will have to change so much and there will be so many parts of the storyline you have to change. It's so London and so British, [in] its humour, that you wonder. It's London based and it took quite a long time for the rest of the country to catch up with the phrases. I have no idea what the American equivalent of "plonker" is, for example. Or "dipstick."' There have been international remakes, including Wat Schuift't? in The Netherlands and Brat Bratu in Slovenia, where Del Boy's three-wheel Reliant Robin car became a camper van. Meanwhile, Sir David has - finally - admitted that his latest comedy The Royal Bodyguard, which finished its flop six-episode series on BBC1 on Monday, wholly failed to hit the target. The show, in which seventy one-year-old played a bumbling royal protection officer, was panned by critics and saw its audience drop from 8.4 million for the first episode on Boxing Day to an overnight of 2.8 million on Monday. 'You can't get it right all the time,' he said. 'We tried, we had a good go, we enjoyed doing it, and yeah, perhaps I think we didn't quite bring it off and it came in for quite a lot of harsh criticism. But there you are - if you don't put your head above the parapet you won't get it shot off. You've got to do that occasionally.' In Pearly Gates, Jason is directing The Fast Show's Mark Williams in a comedy about a family firm of undertakers. The pilot episode will be screened for BBC executives, who will then decide whether to order a full series for BBC1.

Now, here's a funny thing, dear blog reader. A list of the worst AI scores for week-ending 29 January:
Daybreak ITV, Tue 24 Jan, 68
Daybreak ITV, Wed 25 Jan, 68
Daybreak ITV, Fri 27 Jan, 68
Daybreak ITV, Thu 26 Jan, 69
Daybreak ITV, Mon 23 Jan, 70
In life, some things change. And other things remain reliably consistent. Yer actual Keith Telly Topping was recently asked 'Do you still take as much pleasure in the Daybreak numbers now the presenters have changed?' To which the reply is, obviously, yes. If not more so. Kicking a dog when it's down is great fun. Kicking a dog when it's trying to get back up is even funnier.

BBC Breakfast issued an on-air apology after the stand-up Dave Fulton said 'wanker' on Wednesday morning's programme. The American comedian was appearing along with Mitch Benn to discuss the proposed US remake of Only Fools and Horses and the differences between US and UK sitcoms. Breakfast host Bill Turnbull began the discussion by asking: 'How would you say "lovely jubbly" in an American accent?', to which Fulton replied: 'you wouldn't because it's like me saying wanker or something.' Co-host Sian Williams hastily interjected: 'No, no, that was a swearword and apologies to anyone who was offended by that.' A shocked Fulton said: 'Is that a swearword? Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.' The BBC later added: 'Unfortunately, a guest used a swearword live on-air this morning. Both Sian and Bill apologised immediately and again at the end of the interview. We are sorry for any offence caused.' Fulton has lived and worked in the UK for many years – with Edinburgh shows going back more than a decade – but had tweeted beforehand: 'Off to do BBC1 Breakfast show with jetlag and not nearly enough coffee in me.' Benn managed to announce his forthcoming novel but reflected ruefully on Twitter that he'd been upstaged by 'the w-bomb.' The word 'wanker' is generally unknown in the US although it does occasionally turn up in some unlikely places if the writers are anglophiles. An episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, for instance. Two episodes of The Simpsons containing the word were censored before broadcast by Sky in the UK, but Channel Four was forced to apologise in 2008 when an episode featuring guest star Adam Clayton out of The U2 Group and Montgomery Burns using the word went out, unedited, at 6pm. Personally, this blogger doesn't consider wanker to be any more than a very mild cuss in the same way that prat, or berk or glake is. And anybody who thinks it is a swear word is a right tosser and a bell-end. So there.

EastEnders character Sharon Watts is to return to Albert Square after an absence of six years. It will be actress Letitia Dean's third comeback to Walford since the show began in 1985. The forty four-year-old, one of the soap's original characters, was last seen on the square in 2006, when her husband Dennis Rickman died. A key character in the BBC1 show, she is best known for her relationships with the Mitchell brothers. The former Queen Victoria landlady was married to Grant Mitchell, but later had an affair with Phil, which prompted her first departure from the series in 1994. In 2001 she returned for three years, during which time she took over the pub from her adoptive parents, Angie and Den Watts. The character's last return was in 2005, but she bowed out after Dennis was stabbed to death. The storyline surrounding Sharon's return has not yet been announced, but Dean said she was 'looking forward to being part of the EastEnders team again.' She added: 'It has always been very close to my heart. I cannot wait to work with my old colleagues and see what is in store for Sharon.' Executive producer Bryan Kirkwood said: 'I'm thrilled that Letitia is coming back home to Albert Square where she belongs. Sharon is a real favourite amongst EastEnders' fans and I, for one, can't wait until she arrives back in the summer.'

A cash-strapped council has scored an own goal by taking tenants to see the new Muppets film to 'help them with money issues', according to the Sun and the Torygraph. Meanwhile, the Muppets themselves have hit back at criticism by FOX News that they are pushing a Communist political agenda. At a London press conference Kermit the Frog said: 'That's categorically not true. And besides, if we had a problem with oil companies, why would we have spent the entire film driving around in a gas-guzzling Rolls-Royce?' Miss Piggy added: 'It's almost as laughable as accusing FOX News of, you know, being news.'

And speaking of being strapped for cash, Keira Knightley has suggested that only the British have taken such a keen interest in the sadomasochistic scenes in her new film A Dangerous Method. In the film she plays psycho-analyst Carl Jung's patient and lover, Sabina Spielrein, and appears topless, tied to a bed while Michael Fassbender, who plays Jung, spanks her. Hard. Well, we've all fantasised about doing that, be fair. She said: 'I did think about turning it down because of the two scenes of a sadomasochistic nature and I thought it's all going to come out and all of a sudden it's all going to all be about that. And weirdly, apart from this country, it hasn't been, so that's been really great. In England it's got mentioned all the time. I don't know what that says about us! We obviously like spanking.' Obviously.

Robert Webb has tweeted that the remaining three episodes of The Bleak Old Shop of Stuff will be broadcast on the BBC 'from later this month.'

Timothy Spall and Jennifer Saunders have signed up for roles in BBC1's new comedy Blandings. The six-part series is based on the work of PG Wodehouse, who wrote several stories about a fictional estate called Blandings Castle. Spall will play Lord Clarence Emsworth, the master of the Castle, while Saunders will star as his sister Connie. Guy Andrews, who will write and appear in the show, described Blandings Castle as 'dysfunction junction, the home of a chaotic family struggling to keep itself in order. For any writer, it is the rarest privilege imaginable to have Wodehouse legitimately available as source material instead of just stealing from him as we usually do,' he said. Saunders is currently working on a movie adaptation of her hit comedy Absolutely Fabulous, while Spall recently filmed a guest spot for Sky1's upcoming drama Sinbad. Blandings, which is set in 1929, will be filmed in Northern Ireland.

Chris Pine has said that British actors Benedict Cumberbatch and Alice Eve have been settling in well on the set of the Star Trek sequel. The thirty one-year-old actor, who plays Captain Kirk in JJ Abrams's film reboot, took time out of filming the blockbuster to attend the premiere of his latest film, This Means War. And he revealed that filming so far has been 'fantastic', and that his new co-stars are fitting in well. Pine commented: 'They're getting on great. We have a really good, warm, inclusive group from the first one and I think everybody's kind of getting the hang of things and fitting in quite nicely.' After being announced as a cast member in January, Cumberbatch said: 'It's a great job to get, and I'm thrilled.' He added: 'I'm hugely, hugely excited and I'm very, very flattered. I'm very, very excited. I'm just getting my head around the fact that it's happened. My headline is that I'm over the moon.' Cumberbatch and Eve are not the only British actors among the cast - Simon Pegg is reprising his role as engineer Scotty, while former Doctor Who actor Noel Clarke is reported to be playing 'a family man with a wife and young daughter.'

Seven comic book prequels based on the celebrated 1986 series Watchmen are to be produced by DC Comics - without the participation of its original creators. Neither writer Alan Moore nor artist Dave Gibbons will be involved in the prequels, to be collectively referred to as Before Watchmen. So, they're not going to be worth the paper they're print on, in that case. Set in an alternate version of Twentieth Century America, Watchmen told of a group of crime-fighting vigilantes. A Hollywood film version, directed by Zack Snyder, was released in 2009. Each prequel will focus on a different character or set of characters from the original series, which became the best-selling comic of all time when published in a single collection. It will mark the first time the likes of Rorschach, Doctor Manhattan, Nite Owl and Ozymandias will have been seen outside of its pages. 'It's our responsibility as publishers to find new ways to keep all of our characters relevant,' said Dan DiDio and Jim Lee of DC Entertainment. 'After twenty five years, the Watchmen are classic characters whose time has come for new stories to be told.' In a statement, Gibbons said the original series of Watchmen was 'the complete story that Alan Moore and I wanted to tell. However, I appreciate DC's reasons for this initiative and the wish of the artists and writers involved to pay tribute to our work.' Moore was significantly less receptive, telling the New York Times he thought the venture 'completely shameless. I tend to take this latest development as a kind of eager confirmation that they are still apparently dependent on ideas that I had twenty five years ago,' he said. as Pop Will Wat Itself once, so wisely, noted: 'Alan Moore knows that score.'

Gary Oldman has won his first acting award in more than two decades for his role in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. Oldman was voted best British film star in a public vote at the annual Richard Attenborough Regional Film Awards. 'This is the first prize for acting in a specific performance that I've received in over twenty years and that makes it all the more special,' the actor said in a statement. Tinker Tailor was also named British film of the year. Oldman, who plays spymaster George Smiley, received his first ever Oscar nomination last week and is up for best actor at the BAFTAs. His critics' award was accepted by Tinker Tailor screenwriter Peter Straughan, who won the best screenplay prize with his late wife and writing partner Bridget O'Connor. O'Connor died before filming began and the finished film is dedicated to her. Straughan said: 'I'm thrilled that Bridget and I have won this award - especially as it is associated with such a great filmmaker and voted for by so many critics and writers from all around the country. It means a great deal to me and is a wonderful tribute to my late wife's work.'

Transfer deadline day normally brings drama for football fans, as players are seen rushing off for medicals and being driven to football grounds in the dead of night to put pen to paper. However, Tuesday night's Premiership game between Everton and league leaders Sheikh Yer ManCity made headlines for different reasons as an unusual protest took place. Around forty minutes into the first half of the match a spectator took to the pitch and handcuffed himself to one of the goalposts. Fans at Goodison Park and TV viewers soon saw him surrounded by security staff, police officers and players including Everton captain Phil Neville. The man, named locally as forty six-year-old John Foley, is believed to have been protesting against airline Ryanair's alleged treatment of his daughter. Foley's previous protests against Ryanair have taken place at Liverpool's Crowne Plaza Hotel, Cheltenham racecourse and John Lennon Airport. An extract from the match report on Everton's official website read: 'Bolt cutters were used to remove the offender, who was roundly booed as he was escorted from the ground. It transpired that the supporter is a known professional protester, allegedly protesting about an airline's recruitment policy. He was arrested by Merseyside Police, who are now dealing with the matter.' Merseyside Police confirmed that a forty six-year-old man from Southport was arrested for pitch invasion following the incident, and had been taken to a police station for questioning. Everton won the match 1-0, as former Manchester United midfielder Darron Gibson scored his first goal for the club.

Meanwhile, twenty four hours later a Scott Dann own goal and a stoppage time effort by Gabriel Obertan sent yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though still unsellable) Newcastle fifth in the Premiership while increasing Blackburn Vindaloo's relegation worries. Ryan Taylor's twelfth minute shot took a heavy deflection off defender Dann and left keeper Paul Robinson helpless. But Rovers were wasteful, not least when David Dunn had a first half penalty saved by Tim Krul after Danny Simpson fouled Anthony Modeste. The Magpies' Leon Best headed against his own bar before substitute Obertan sealed victory in the dying moments putting yer actual Toon fifth in the league.

Cheeky Cock-er-knee geezer and the tabloid's favourite Harry Redknapp has admitted in court to lying to a Scum of the World reporter but strenuously denied that he is a complete crook. Sounds like a perfectly reasonable explanation. He said that he had lied to Rob Beasley about the source of payments to his Monaco bank account because he did not want negative stories appearing about him ahead of a cup final. Redknapp denies allegations that one hundred and eighty nine thousand smackers paid into his account was a bonus for profits on transfers while he was employed by Portsmouth FC. The Stottingtot Hotshot boss said: 'I have to tell police the truth, not Mr Beasley - he's a News of the World reporter.' Redknapp told Southwark Crown Court that the reason he gave the journalist incorrect information was to prevent a story appearing in the Scum of the World ahead of Tottenham's appearance in the 2009 League Cup final against Manchester United. When asked by the prosecution why he referred to payments as bonuses he was due for the sale of striker Peter Crouch from Portsmouth to Aston Villa, Redknapp told the court: 'I wanted to make the point to Mr Beasley that it was paid by my chairman.' He added that he 'referred to it to [Beasley] many times as my Crouch bonus' as 'Crouch is an easy answer.' Redknapp told the court: 'I just want to get Mr Beasley out the way - I just didn't want a story in the paper. I was going to come down to breakfast and all my players were going to be looking at the back page of the News of the World. It was going to be embarrassing.' John Black QC, for the prosecution, accused Redknapp of 'letting the cat out of the bag' during the phone conversation with Beasley. Redknapp replied: 'Why would I let the cat out of the bag to the News of the World if I had done anything wrong?' The Stottingtot Hotshots manager is on trial alongside his former employer at Portsmouth, the club's ex-chairman Milan Mandaric. Both deny cheating the public revenue. A day earlier, Redknapp had lost his cool with a dramatic outburst at a police office. The Spurs manager, halted his evidence at London's Southwark Crown Court to tell detective David Manley: 'Will you stop staring at me. I know you are trying to cause me a problem.' After apologising to Judge Anthony Leonard for the outburst Redknapp continued to give evidence. Redknapp also told his trial he could not remember moving one hundred thousand dollars from his off-shore account - because he was worrying about David Beckham. Which, again, we've all done at one time or another, innit? The trial continues.

The creator of the long-running US TV show Soul Train has shot himself at his Los Angeles home, police said. Don Cornelius, seventy five, was pronounced dead on Wednesday morning after police answered reports of gunshots at his home. Soul Train began in Chicago in 1970 but was broadcast nationally from 1971 to 2006, showcasing artists such as Aretha Franklin, Marvin Gaye and Barry White. Cornelius stepped down as host of the hit show in 1993. Soul Train came to prominence in the years after the cultural and political upheaval of the civil rights movement. It was credited with helping to tear down racial barriers, bringing black music into the cultural mainstream and showcasing soul and funk to a national audience. The show brought new dance moves, fashion and hair styles to their audiences. 'I'm trying to avoid saying there was no television for black folks, which they knew was for them,"'Cornelius said of the show in 2006. Initially, the show was seen by some as a black answer to American Bandstand, a music show presented by Dick Clark. American Bandstand sometimes featured very mainstream African-American artists, but Soul Train created a platform for black artists who might not have had the opportunity to appear on other shows. Soul Train remained popular long after black musicians became part of mainstream music and culture in the US. 'I figured as long as the music stayed hot and important and good, that there would always be a reason for Soul Train,' Cornelius added. Cornelius was awarded a place in the Broadcasting and Cable Hall of Fame in 1995 and has a star on the Walk of Fame in Hollywood. Paying tribute to him, music producer Quincy Jones said: 'Don was a visionary pioneer and a giant in our business. Before MTV there was Soul Train, that will be the great legacy of Don Cornelius. His contributions to television, music and our culture as a whole will never be matched.' The civil rights activist Reverend Al Sharpton said in a statement from New York: 'I have known him since I was nineteen years old and James Brown had me speak on Soul Train. [Cornelius] brought soul music and dance to the world in a way that it had never been shown and he was a cultural game changer on a global level.' In 2009 Cornelius was sentenced to probation for three years on charges of physical abuse in his marriage. During his divorce case that same year it emerged that he also suffered from health problems.

A prison convict in Sweden has demanded holiday time from being behind bars. Natalia Pshenkina, thirty one, is held at a facility in Ystad and currently has a job inside the prison, reports national tabloid newspaper Aftonbladet. Having started in February 2010, the prisoner believes that she is owed holiday for nearly two years of work. Pshenkina filed a complaint putting forward her argument that people working in Sweden have the right to take twenty five days off a year, by law. She stated: 'I've asked the head of production about which times during the year the prison allows vacation time for inmates. The answer was that prison doesn't have any vacation time at all.' However, a spokesman for the prison and probation service in Sweden clarified the situation and said: '[Prisoners] aren't employed by us and therefore, laws about vacation time don't apply.' Pshenkina was handed a life sentence for the 2005 murder of her former boyfriend.

And so to yer actual Keith Telly Topping's 45 of the Day. And, today, we're going back to where it all began. Shake them hips, boy.

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

MasterChef: Put It In The Curry

MasterChef presenter Gregg Wallace believes that the current show is 'more about the food' than Loyd Grossman's sedate, cogitative predecessor. 'It was hugely popular - we all watched it,' says Wallace about the original show, which ran on the BBC from 1990 to 2001. 'But, as a competition I think it was flawed. If you say to people: "All right, you're coming on the television in three months' time and cooking two dishes," who couldn't do that? You could pretty much train next door's hamster to do it. A previous winner under the Loyd regime once said: "Well, in my day it was about the food,"' Wallace told Radio Times. "I thought: "How dare you? It was probably less about the food then than it is now. Would you have survived the invention test, madam? No, I don't think you would. I liked the show but all it proved was that you could host a dinner party.' Nevertheless, Wallace says MasterChef's producers took a huge chance when they completely revamped a popular format and drafted in himself and John Torode to present. 'Karen Ross was very, very brave in picking two blue collar boys for what had otherwise been a Sunday-afternoon, very Mrs-Corby-Trouser-press, doing a dish with a very long name - probably French - sort of show,' admits Wallace. But the gamble paid off – now into their eighth series together, Gregg and John are one of the most recognisable double acts on British TV. Yet despite having been friends for over twenty years, it seems they were paired together by chance. 'We've done MasterChef for eight years but we knew each other for fifteen years before that,' says Wallace. 'I've always sold fruit and veg to John. I owned the company that supplied him. When I started I was just a little bloke in a van and I used to turn up at the kitchen door when he worked in Chelsea and that's where I met him. Karen Ross interviewed us separately, liked both of us but had no idea we knew each other.' It's been a long and fruitful relationship but the two appear to be very different personalities - there things on which, Wallace notes, they don't see eye to eye. 'I'm neat, tidy and methodical,' says Gregg. 'John's a complete surfer-dude, laid-back, hairy-chested Aussie. In the dressing room, he just throws his clothes all over the place. One day I came in to find his shoes on my rack – if we were a couple, that would be grounds for divorce, but I have to soldier on under this provocation.' They're still together, though, and on tonight's edition of MasterChef they were overseeing a big test for last week's losing team. 'We take them off to a tractor factory,' Gregg noted. 'I like the big industrial catering tasks because they're always one of the hardest tests the contestants have to do. We will always finish on fine dining but we always have these mass challenges along the way, too. And I love 'em cos it's pure graft.'
'Back into the frying pan,' said the Beeb continuity announcer as the episode began. You will recall from last time dear blog reader that yer actual Big Eamonn, Big Jay, yer actual Little Andrew, Afsaneh and Ashvy were in the losing team and so, were given the chance to redeem themselves by feeding the five thousand (well, the three hundred and fifty, anyway) at a Basildon tractor factory under the watchful eye (and, frankly, nervous disposition) of the head chef, Steve. They were required to cook two main dishes and a vegetarian option (the thing which, you may remember, was a major contributing factor to them losing the challenge last time and ending up in this mess in the first place). It all started well enough with Eamonn and Jay doing what big blokie-blokes often do when they're not drinking pints and talking about the football - discussing the best recipe for Lancashire Hot Pot. Jay's from Southport. In Lancashire. Eamonn's from Lincoln. In, you know, Lincolnshire. 'nuff said, really! When asked who wanted to be the team leader, poor Andrew who'd volunteered last time and led the quintet to defeat, just looked at the floor like he wanted it to eat him alive.
Nobody else said anything till Jay, manfully, said he'd do it. Steve the chef said he thought Jay seemed 'quite a confident guy.' Jay merely noted: 'I'm used to organising a hundred men. But, they're easy, they do as they're told.' The three chosen courses were a lamb hot pot, a chicken curry and, as a vegetarian option and, after some discussion with Steve about what big rough tough tractor builders like eating, vegetarian moussaka. Ashvy took charge of the curry and John soon had her panicking over the size of the portions. Andrew seemed to have been made the fall guy for the loss in Bath and was relegated to, as Gregg noted, effectively kitchen porter, peeling the spuds and being general dogsbody for any odd job that needed doing. He did with a smile on his face and without any complaint. Unlike Ashvy who, from the editing of the episode, appeared to have made herself about a popular as a hole in a spacesuit with her demeanour in general and the thickness of her curry in particular. John queried what she was playing at. She said, the onion would thicken it. 'I've never known an onion to thicken anything in my life,' said Mr Torode with his twenty five years experience as a chef. But, Ashvy just wasn't having it, or any other critique of her dish as she got all stroppy and discombobulated (fatally recalling twisty-faced Jacqui from last year) with any and all suggestion that her curry was going to be too runny.
She used the 'I'm Indian, I know what I'm talking about' defence. Which, frankly, is a bit like me saying 'I'm English, I know how to fox hunt.' It does seem as though the producers of MasterChef enjoy each year making one contestant seem far more unlikable to the audience than all the others. It happened with Jacqui last year and it seems to have happened with Ashvy here. One images that, perhaps, several of the contestants may have had occasion to answer back when John, for instance, has told them that something they are doing is going to go wrong. But, if any of them did those bits seem to have been edited out and left on the cutting room floor. Or, maybe it was just Ashvy who'd decided to get lippy? The truth is in there somewhere. 'Authentic Indian curry' she bellowed as they got the dishes out and started serving them to lots of hungry tractor workers. She stressed that it was authentic and, therefore, 'with bones' just in case anybody was to, you know, choke on one. Interestingly, it sold very well and got, mostly, highly decent comments (although one chap thought it a bit bland for his pallet. Personally, this blogger would've probably licked the plate and gone back for seconds, and maybe thirds). John and Gregg thought it was bland too. And tasteless. In Gregg's words, imitating his old mate, 'it lacks a bit of oomph!' The moussaka didn't get many takers - tractor builders aren't vegetarians seemed to be the one concrete thing were learned from this entire malarkey - but, the judges considered it had been a pretty good effort, as was the hot pot.
Thus, it was back to MasterChef HQ where, John said, 'let the proper fight begin. Now it's the chance to see what they're really made of.' But, again, as with the end of the last episode, there was a surprise in store for the audience as Ashvy was said to be 'really unwell' and unable to take part. Immediately four million viewers wondered if it was a dodgy curry or something less food-related. Eight remaining contestants, therefore, had the chance to show John and Gregg their talents with the knowledge that 'only the best' would be remaining at the end. Afsaneh chose to make rack of lamb with toasted pine-nuts, kidney, fried liver ragù, mash, pomegranate reduction and a lamb jeux. It seemed something of a risk for Afsaneh, way out of her comfort zone of Middle-Eastern cuisine which had got her this far, especially when she confessed that she doesn't really like offal. In the end, although parts of the dish were well cooked and the balance was good, the liver and kidney were so overcooked that, according to John, 'if you put that into a gun it would kill a pheasant.' 'MasterChef isn't a time to experiment with stuff you don't like,' said Gregg. Afsaneh was clearly upset but, as usual, walked away with a smile which has helped to endear her to many viewers. Tom went for a dessert, chilli and pineapple soufflé with ginger and coconut ice cream. 'If you're not cooking on the edge then it's just repetition,' Tom said. His dish went down a storm with both judges. 'Dainty, elegant, beautiful, stunning,' said Gregg in staccato bursts between mouthfuls of tasty pud! John said that the dish reminded him of a Thai pineapple curry, 'but in dessert form.' And that was a good thing. Eamonn was advised by Gregg that he was clearly a talented chef so, 'stop getting so stressed!'
He cooked stuffed chicken with baked onion, wrapped in bacon and stuffed with goats cheese, wild mushrooms and a morel velouté. There were some small presentation issues as far as Gregg was concerned but the taste was praised to the rooftops. Then it got even better because John liked the presentation as well as the taste! Excitable Aki again bounced around the kitchen like a nervous kangaroo but managed to stay still just about long enough to make a green tea gateaux with red bean paste, plum wine jelly and warm black treacle syrup. 'I'm going to take you to Kyoto,' she promised and, so infectious was her enthusiasm that you pretty much believed her. The dish, however, proved to be something of a game of two halves, praised for its interesting mixture of flavours but criticised for some texture issues. Jay, Gregg considered, had the makings of a very good chef indeed but he needs to be a shade bolder. So, he was. He cooked fillet of beef, and asparagus crown, ceps, rock butter and an asparagus mousse. 'That'll do for me,' said Gregg going on to praise the dish, albeit feeling that Jay could've sliced his beef a bit thinner.
John didn't seem worried about that and added: 'You have an extraordinary touch.' Jay noted that he was regretful about how big a hunk of meat he'd cooked but then he himself is, after all, 'a big bloke'! Good answer, frankly. Shelina's dish was an Alfonso mango and cardamom trifle with a Mauritian spiced rum baba and mango lime sorbet. When she told Gregg what she intended to cook he said that if she did 'that mango justice' he was quite prepared to elope with her. This, after she'd just told him she was married. In the event, Gregg loved it (it could, possibly, be one of the best desserts he'd ever had anywhere, he stated). John loved it. The cameramen twenty feet away from the action loved it. Hell, even the viewers loved it and all they could do was look at it.
As, along with Jay, the most consistent of the chefs from the earlier rounds, the last couple of episodes must've been a bit of a blow to Andrew's confidence. But, as noted earlier, he'd taken the harder bits of the disastrous team tasks and done them with a smile. So, it's a possibly fair bet to assume that most viewers were willing for him to provide the greatest comeback since Lazarus. His dish was pan fried quail with potato pancake and stuffed courgette with a caper and fig jeux. 'Boom!' said John Torode as he took his first mouthful but, both he and Gregg had more than a few issue with the balance of the dish. The quail, John said, tended to get a bit lost in all the flavours. 'There's much to admire here,' Gregg noted but added that the dish was, perhaps, a shade overcomplicated. 'Next time, don't be afraid to plagiarise,' John said. Last up was Emma whose dish was a madly ambitious one: slow cooked beef with bone marrow persillade, horseradish potato purée and onion ice cream. Eh? Onion ice cream? John looked shocked, but impressed. Gregg just looked shocked. Bordering on mortified. Emma said she'd had it, once, in a restaurant and thought it was unusual and worked well.
'It's pretty left-field' said Gregg, still looking doubtful and, he added, 'if I like it, I'm going to have myself certified!' The finished dish got good comments from both - especially John. But, Gregg didn't like the onion ice cream, as you kind of knew he wasn't going to from the various facial expressions he pulled earlier! Jay, Tom, Eamonn and Shelina's places in the next round were already assured but, the other four all had a nervous wait whilst John and Gregg decided 'who has what it takes.' In the end, the pair decided that they all did, just as India Fisher's voice-over appeared again to inform viewers that Ashvy, despite her commitment to the competition, was 'unable to return to Masterchef' and, like Jonathan last week, had withdrawn. That must've been one very dodgy curry.

On Such A Timeless Flight

Strictly Come Dancing's Len Goodman has branded - which is, of course, tabloid-speak for 'described' only with less syllables - Britain's Got Talent boss Simon Cowell 'spiteful and mean' for poaching Alesha Dixon from the BBC1 show. Which, Cowell almost certainly is but, what y'gonna do, Len, nitch him up to teacher like a dirty Copper's Nark? Fer Christ's sake, grow up, you're as bad as each other. Cowell has previously said that he offered Dixon a judging slot on Britain's Got Talent based 'Seventy-thirty on the fact she was on Strictly and the fact I liked her.' Something which has, according to reports, gone down fantastically badly with greedy talentless waste-of-space Dixon herself. So, that's good for a laugh even if nothing else is. Cowell reportedly added that there was 'unbelievable rivalry' between the two talent shows. But speaking on Richard Bacon's BBC 5Live show, Goodman said: 'If that is the case - shame on you, Simon.' It was announced last month that Dixon was to join judging panellists Cowell, David Walliams and Amanda Holden on the ITV talent contest. Goodman added that he would never 'knock the opposition' (just grass on them) and that he 'enjoyed' Cowell's shows. 'I think it is spiteful and mean if that is the case that Simon said: "I just want to be spiteful towards Strictly." Because why would you want to do that? Why would you want to spoil millions of people's pleasures? It's not the right way to behave, so if that is the case - shame on you, Simon.' Bacon also asked the Strictly judge whether he thought his former colleague Arlene Phillips would return to the panel, now Dixon has left. 'I don't know. I've got a feeling if they asked her to come back, that she would,' he said. 'I would be perfectly happy if Arlene was to return because I thought she did a great job while she was on it.' Clearly, the BBC didn't, that's why she got the tin-tack in the first place.

The new series of Upstairs Downstairs is, reportedly, to feature 'a lesbian romance', it has been claimed. Because, as we all know, there are, genuinely, very few things in life that can't be improved, immeasurably, by lezzing them up. True story. Doctor Who actress Alex Kingston and recently-announced guest star Emilia Fox will portray secret lovers Dr Blanche Mottershead and Lady Portia Alresford when the BBC historical drama returns later this year. So, that'll be, what, twenty million viewers for the first episode? This blogger will certainly be watching. Writer Heidi Thomas said of the pair's 'covert and difficult' relationship: 'These are two brilliant, intellectual women who have a deeply romantic friendship in the tradition of the great Edwardian romantics, which gives each of them endless stimulation and satisfaction.' She further teased to the Mirra: 'It causes a bit of a stir when it all comes out, but Blanche finds support and sympathy from an unlikely quarter.' Kingston, who previously described Blanche as 'complex and intriguing,' suggested that her character would 'fight against prejudices of the time' for her new love. 'She is quite a radical, very used to a free existence, and doesn't understand why she would have to conform to the beautifully-kept world they've created for themselves,' she explained.

Three days after the latest series of Top Gear began and the Gruniad Morning Star still haven't published a story about some mythical group of individuals being 'outraged' at some perceived insult to them, personally, over the opening episode. Truly, dear blog reader, we are living in The End of Days.

Bill Kenwright is to reprise his role of Gordon Clegg, son of Rovers barmaid Betty Turpin, in Coronation Street. The character will return to Weatherfield for the funeral of Betty - actress Betty Driver died late last year. Producers have since been working out how to best pay tribute to the actress and the character. Gordon Clegg was originally introduced as the son of Betty's sister Maggie Clegg (Irene Sutcliffe) who ran the Corner Shop. However, it was later revealed that Gordon was not Maggie's son at all but instead the secret love child of Betty herself. The character has featured on and off during the years with Kenwright's last appearance in the role in 1995. After which the character was played by Geoffrey Leesley in for several appearances in the early 2000's. The news of Kenwright's return to Coronation Street was made by Sharon Marshall on ITV's This Morning. Marshall revealed 'We've got a little announcement to make about Betty and the funeral plans. Betty's funeral will be screened in April. There's been so many rumours in the press, but there's only one person who they've actually asked to come back - and that's Bill Kenwright, who played her on-screen son.' Press reports had linked Julie Goodyear and Jean Alexander as possible returnees as well though the latter has declined returns on previous special occasions. A report earlier this year claimed that producers were not planning on bringing any characters back for the funeral but that was quickly contradicted. Kenwright, of course, is these days best known as the chairman of Everton and a successful stage and film producer.

Matt Smith has said that he probably won't stay in Doctor Who for as long as the seven years that Tom Baker played the lead role. Not that anybody has suggested for a single moment that he would. There is, at the moment, some confusion within a fandom as to how long,exactly, Smith wants to continue playing The Doctor caused by fans jumping on every single thing the poor lad says and picking it apart for clues. Some reports suggested that at the recent NTA awards Matt said he has 'no plans' to leave Doctor Who any time soon. Other reports claimed that he has 'just one year left' in the BBC series based on a throwaway line he gave in the same interview. Really it's all rather tiresome and it would probably be best if everybody just stopped getting so excited, shut-the-hell up and let the chap get on with his job and worry about what happens when it happens. Including this blog. But, anyway, the latest brick in the saga is the following: 'I just sort of take each year as it comes, really,' Matt told Blastr. 'We've got all the rest of this year to get through, and then we'll just sit down and review it from there and see where it goes. But I love playing the part, and I love working with Steven Moffat. I think there will need to be a younger, cooler person than me — or maybe an older, cooler person, who knows? But I don't think I'll be doing it as long as Mr Baker.' So, there you go. Clear as Matt Smith wants it to be. Everybody happy? No? What an unexpected surprise.

Tuesday nights continue to be Toxic Tuesday for ITV. The channel's miserable flop game show The Exit List dropped to a new low of 1.68m (with a further one hundred and twenty thousand punters on ITV+1). That's even lower than the 1.71m another of their game show formats, High Stakes, pulled in last year. The Exit List was beaten by not just BBC1, but also BBC2 and Channel Four (their documentary on the sinking of the Concordia which had an audience of 2.87m plus three hundred thousand on C4+1, almost double what ITV managed). The BBC's new drama Prisoners Wives launched with a somewhat underwhelming 4.9m. And, if you want a truly horrifying statistic, two hundred and eighty seven thousand desperate and wretched souls watched the opening episode of the second series of Geordie Shore on MTV.

Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss are scheduled to appear at the Edinburgh International Television Festival in August, presenting a Sherlock Masterclass alongside the show's producer Sue Vertue.
BBC1's Question Time and Mock the Week have been criticised in a report about television diversity for featuring 'token women' on their panels. The shows were singled out, along with BBC2's Qi, for failing to put enough female faces on screen. Commissioned by the BBC for the Cultural Diversity Network, the report said there was a tendency in drama, comedy and entertainment programmes to feature older people as 'peripheral or token figures.' Viewers described them as 'props for other stories' rather than a central character. There was praise for characters such as the Dowager Countess from Downton Abbey, Patrick Trueman in EastEnders and Coronation Street's Betty Turpin for their positive portrayal of older people. But there was a mixed verdict on another BBC1 show, Strictly Come Dancing, with concern that older contestants such as Ann Widdecombe were only being included as figures of fun. 'Whilst Strictly Come Dancing was commended as a programme that included contestants from a range of ages it was also felt to sometimes mock and at worst be exploitative of certain older contestants,' said the report published on Tuesday. It was part of a trend in the media identified by viewers of mocking older people and characters in comedy and drama. A seventy two-year-old viewer, one of one hundred and eighty people of all ages who took part in the survey, said: 'We didn't like older people making a fool of themselves on telly, producers and directors are taking advantage and are using it for entertainment. An example of this would be Come Dancing. Its just embarrassing. I don't like seeing older folk being exploited.' The report said that viewers felt these presenters had been treated unfairly, 'particularly when they had been replaced with what people felt were less qualified but younger, more attractive women.' Viewers said older women were treated differently to older men, such as Sir David Attenborough, Sir Bruce Forsyth and a 'host of newsreaders' for whom their age 'appeared to be seen as advantageous.' One viewer said: 'Getting rid of all these older newsreaders, and bringing in young, glamorous kind of females, you're kind of forgetting the older person. Which they shouldn't because it's nice to grow up to older faces, and more mature faces, rather than just having women in their young twenties that haven't really got the experience.' he experience for what? To read an autocue? Jeez, the shit some people chose to care about. BBC Radio 1 DJ Annie Nightingale was referenced as an older presenter who had been 'ousted' from TV but continued to appear on the radio. The report said: 'There was concern that there were no female equivalents of David Attenborough and that male newsreaders were often much older than their female equivalents.' A panel of industry experts who took part in the survey acknowledged that TV programmes can sometimes portray older people as the 'adorable idiot.'

Meanwhile, TV viewers are largely satisfied with the portrayal of different age ranges in the media, a study by the Creative Diversity Network has found. Just seventeen per cent of those surveyed expressed 'mild dissatisfaction' with how the media deals with age in general. It follows the case of Miriam O'Reilly, who successfully sued the BBC for age discrimination after she was dropped as a presenter on Countryfile. The report said that age portrayal was 'less of a priority' than quality programmes. However, it showed some concern across all age groups about the lack of middle and older aged women on television. Director general of the BBC Mark Thompson said broadcasters should take note of any dissatisfaction expressed by viewers. 'There are lessons here for the BBC and the rest of Britain's broadcasters,' he said. 'We should also note the concern, expressed by older people generally, about the need for greater visibility for older women. While, of course, there are many older women presenters and actors across our airwaves, this is something that needs to be addressed.' The findings suggested that young people were far more concerned than the older generation about how they were portrayed on TV. In the poll, forty per cent of sixteen to twenty four-year-olds said they did not agree with the way their age group was represented in the media. The report said: 'Although there is perceived to be plenty of coverage of young people on television, much of this portrayal is viewed as unduly negative.' It added that young people are often seen to be involved in 'risky behaviours' and are shown to have a 'disrespectful nature.' However, the authors suggested that the timing of the poll, which was conducted around the time of the London riots last year, may have influenced young people's responses. The BBC's media correspondent Torin Douglas said: 'After all the headlines about Miriam O'Reilly and the lack of older women on TV, it's unexpected to find that it's young people who are most concerned about the way they are portrayed. And most people aren't that concerned at all - the report says only seventeen per cent of those questioned were dissatisfied with the way the media deals with age.' The Creative Diversity Network comprises of several media outlets, including the BBC, ITV, ITN and Channel Four. The BBC is the current chair of the body, and had championed research into ageism when it took on the role.
Plans for the launch of a new Sunday version of the Sun as a replacement for the Scum of the World have reportedly been put on hold following the arrest of four senior journalists connected to the paper. Known as Project X, the Sun on Sunday has been widely rumoured to be in the works for some months, including recent reports suggesting that late April had been earmarked for its launch. However, the Financial Times cites 'three senior insiders' at publisher News International as allegedly saying that the alleged project has been allegedly halted after raids by police on four senior journalists at the weekend. Allegedly. The men were named by colleagues as Graham Dudman, a former managing editor of the Sun, and Fergus Shanahan, a former deputy editor, along with the paper's current head of news Chris Pharo and the serving crime editor Mike Sullivan. They were all questioned by police on suspicion of corruption under the 1906 Prevention of Corruption Act, as well as aiding and abetting misconduct in a public office. A serving police officer was also arrested at the weekend, and all five men were bailed until April and May. The Financial Times said that News International is allegedly 'concerned' that the negative publicity surrounding the arrests would damage the launch of the Sun on Sunday. The paper would get the publisher back into the lucrative Sunday market following the decision to close the disgraced and disgraceful Scum of the World at the height of the phone-hacking affair. But one alleged 'source' allegedly said: 'It has gone way on to the back burner since Saturday.' Neville Thurlbeck, the former chief reporter of the Scum of the World, has even claimed: 'The launch of that newspaper is not even being discussed now.' News International declined to comment on the report.

David Harewood has claimed that there are better roles for black actors in the US than in Britain. Harewood, who plays the CIA's deputy director David Estes in Homeland, suggested that a lot of his British peers are travelling to the States for work. Speaking at a London BAFTA screening of the drama, he said: 'I think unfortunately there really aren't that many roles for authoritative, strong black characters in this country. We just don't write those characters - that's a fact. So a lot of my contemporaries are going to America. I kind of thought I'd missed the boat.' Harewood cited Idris Elba as an example of a British actor who had been successful in the US after a difficult start in the UK. 'I can remember talking to him years ago about his frustrations and he told me, "I'll go to America" and I thought, "What are you doing that for?"' Harewood said. 'Look at him now. The guy's a huge star. So he made the right decision to go when he did. And now he comes back and is doing Luther.' Harewood acknowledged that it took Elba 'a long time to crack it' but added: 'Now he can come back and he's a national treasure. For me, that's what I knew I needed to do because I simply wouldn't have been given a role of that weight or authority here in the UK.' Harewood, who has also starred in the movie Blood Diamond and the BBC television series Robin Hood, later admitted that he would 'encourage' young black actors to 'get to America. Or to at least try and have that ambition in your back pocket,' he continued. 'Because they do seem to embrace a more diverse palette and I think that's sad, but that's just the facts. I want to encourage people to get there as quickly as they can.'

WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange has been revealed as the surprise guest star in The Simpsons' five hundredth episode. Simpsons exec-producer Al Jean admitted that there had been 'discussion internally' on whether to use Assange and said that his cameo was 'satirical' and wouldn't alter his current legal situation. Assange was hunted down by casting director Bonnie Pietila after Simpsons creator Matt Groening heard reports that the political activist was interested in appearing on the long-running animated comedy. According to Entertainment Weekly, Assange recorded his lines in a secret location and didn't meet with producers because of his house arrest legal status in the UK. Assange is scheduled to appear on Wednesday at the Supreme Court to appeal extradition to Sweden for sex crimes allegations. The Simpsons' landmark five hundredth episode is broadcast on FOX on 19 February. It will be shown in the UK on Sky1 later in the year. In the episode, Homer and Marge will attempt to go 'off the grid' after discovering that the Springfield citizens want to have them removed from the town and are holding secret town hall meetings without them. While on the run, they will bump into Assange, who has been billed as their 'new Ned Flanders.' Al Jean has promised that there will be several more 'much less controversial' celebrity guest cameos in the episode.

A thirty three-year-old man has been prosecuted after he attacked three Toys R Us customers with toy lightsabers. Y'see, this dear blog reader is what Americans are driven to when they've got Piers Morgan on their TVs. When police arrived at the scene, David Canterbury from Hillsboro, Oregon began swinging his, ahem, 'weapon' at the officers. Oh, please tell me 'did the noise' as well! It only works if you do the noise! He had one lightsaber in each hand, reports The Oregonian. One officer's attempt to use a taser on Canterbury failed when he deflected the hit with a lightsaber. Police eventually overpowered and arrested him at the toy store. Hopefully using The Force. Considerably. Afterwards, Canterbury 'apologised' to everyone that he had attacked and stated he intends to undergo mental health treatment. None of the victims required medical attention although a couple were later heard muttering 'this isn't the man you're looking for, you can go about your business.' The man was sentenced to forty five days in jail for assault and resisting arrest. Canterbury has also banned from the Toys R Us store. And the Death Star.

For today's Keith Telly Topping's 45 of the Day here's a somewhat appropriate number from Sir Elt.