So, dear blog reader, we reach what is destined to be the final From The North bloggerisationism update for 2022. A year which began with this blogger feeling lousy (and ends with him feeling not that much better if we're being honest); a year which included this blogger spending a week in hospital and, at the time, genuinely unsure whether From The North had a future or not (seemingly, it did); a year which saw the end of an era for From The North favourite Doctor Who; a year which saw the casting of a new Doctor. Or two; a year with lots of good telly (and some rubbish telly as well); a year in which a long-promised small-screen adaptation of Keith Telly Topping's beloved The Sandman finally appeared (and, he thought it was great); a year in which the Queen died; a year in which lots of other people whom this blogger greatly admired, died. And a year in which other stuff happened. Frequently. You probably noticed. So, a year just any other year, one could suggest.
Anyway, Christmas Day brought the long-awaited first teaser trailer for next year's Doctor Who sixtieth anniversary extravaganza. Which you can see here. Very good it is, too. Not all that sure about Neil Patrick Harris's camp German accent, admittedly, but it may grow on this blogger over the coming eleven months.
Russell Davies, meanwhile, has teased next year's trio of sixtieth anniversary specials, revealing there will be 'many surprises' in store for viewers. The showrunner, who was at the helm of Doctor Who from 2005 until 2010 (you knew that, right?), told Total TV Guide (no, me neither) that whilst there is no Christmas special this year, fans should be 'prepared for the antics to come' in 2023. 'I'm sorry there's no special this year, but I absolutely promise, this time next year, you'll be staggered with the surprises we've got in store.' Last week, the production unveiled Ncuti Gatwa's costume as The Doctor and earlier this month, Big Rusty confirmed that Doctor Who would be back for a Christmas-or-thereabouts special in 2023. 'For the first time ever, I'm writing a Christmas Special at Christmas!' he said. 'The 2023 script has been long since signed-off. The new one is for end-of-year 2024!'
Big Rusty has also promised that his Doctor Who comeback will deliver 'lots of content' with 'no gap years' between series. And, his former colleague, Mark Gatiss, has suggested that this 'regularity' will be key to the show's future success. Speaking to the Radio Times (which used to be run by adults) to promote Count Magnus - his latest MR James adaptation for the BBC's A Ghost Story For Christmas strand - Gatiss insisted that, despite having formerly contributed scripts to Doctor Who and remaining friends with Davies, he's not sitting on a huge amount of insider information about the next era of the BBC's popular long-running family SF drama. 'I don't know a thing,' he claimed. 'The only thing was Russell came to Nolly [Davies' forthcoming ITV Noele Gordon biopic, in which Gatiss plays Larry Grayson] on my last day in Manchester and it took about four-and-a-half seconds for us to talk about Doctor Who! And then, he showed me the regeneration from Jodie into David and that was very exciting, so I held on to that as a little piece of the Key to Time for a bit. But ... I really know nothing. I haven't a clue. And that's a lovely feeling, to just be watching as a viewer. I've no idea what the structure is, or what's happened. Who is David? He is the Fourteenth Doctor, isn't he? So what's happened? Who has done that? The only clue is, he says, "I don't know who I am anymore."' Mark added: 'I suspect some kind of celestial intervention!' So, it would appear we can put Mark down as one more fan who suspects that Neil Patrick Harris is playing The Celestial Toymaker. Looking ahead to the show's trilogy of sixtieth anniversary specials and the subsequent eight-part series starring Ncuti Gatwa and Millie Gibson, Gatiss revealed what he is most excited for as a fan. 'This is a mundane thing to say, [but] regularity. Definitely. The thing that really works is for it to be on the telly! On the telly as much as possible.' He continued: 'Just a couple of Instagram emojis caused worldwide headlines. Isn't that marvellous? It's got a spring in its step which just makes you very excited to watch it and Ncuti just seems so absolutely adorable and just brimming with that kind of effervescent love of the show.'
The BBC News website, as part of its end-of-year round-up has a piece, by the excellent Lizo Mzimba, entitled TV Lookahead: Twenty Three Highlights To Look Out For In 2023 which, of course, includes Doctor Who. This confirms that following the three November sixtieth anniversary episodes with David Tennant, Ncuti Gatwa's debut will occur around this time next year ('over the Christmas period'). This blogger isn't really sure that Amazon taking over the production of Neighbours genuinely qualifies as a potential 'highlight' of next year's telly, however.
Which, inevitably, leads us to ... Memorably Daft Double-Entendres In Episodes Of Doctor Whom (1963-2022). Number Forty Two: Father's Day.
Memorably Daft Double-Entendres In Episodes Of Doctor Whom (1963-2022). Number Forty Three: Turn Left. What should have been the pilot episode for a quite brilliant spin-off, Donna's Mum. This blogger even had the theme tune ready to go. It went: 'Donna's mum/Donna's mum/Donna's mum/Donna's mum/Donna's mum/Donna's mum/Donna's mum/woo-ee-ooo/wee-ooo ...' It could've been massive.
Memorably Daft Double-Entendres In Episodes Of Doctor Whom (1963-2022). Number Forty Four: The Two Doctors.
This blogger, incidentally, loathes The Two Doctors; to him, it's the nadir of Colin's reign of wretched awfulness. Or, to put it in a more Keith Telly Topping style(e), 'I thought it was shite.' Tonally, it's a complete mess - it didn't seem able to make up its mind what it wanted to be. The cannibalism plot (considering this was still, at heart, a show for children in 1985) was very troublesome. The comedy aspects jarred alarmingly in a story full of knives and meat tenderisers. The murder of Oscar was, possibly, this blogger's least favourite moment of Doctor Who, ever, it was so out and out nasty. The Doctor ends the story by suffocating Shockaye with a hideously inappropriate and sneering pithy quip. Keith Telly Topping loathes it and everything it stands for dear blog reader and every time he hears Colin Baker whinging about coming bottom of the DWM poll for favourite Doctors this blogger want to bellow in his face: 'I sat through one hundred and thirty five minutes of The Two Doctors, I want a fucking medal.'
Memorably Daft Double-Entendres In Episodes Of Doctor Whom (1963-2022). Number Forty Five: The Christmas Invasion.
Memorably Daft Double-Entendres In Episodes Of Doctor Whom (1963-2022). Number Forty Six: Voyage of The Damned. 'Is that a sonic screwdriver sticking out of your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?'
Memorably Daft Double-Entendres In Episodes Of Doctor Whom (1963-2022). Number Forty Seven: Terror Of The Vervoids. No shit?
Memorably Daft Double-Entendres In Episodes Of Doctor Whom (1963-2022). Number Forty Eight: Underworld.
Memorably Daft Double-Entendres In Episodes Of Doctor Whom (1963-2022). Number Forty Nine: A Christmas Carol.
Memorably Daft Double-Entendres In Episodes Of Doctor Whom (1963-2022). Number Fifty: Planet Of The Spiders.
Memorably Daft Double-Entendres In Episodes Of Doctor Whom (1963-2022). Number Fifty One: The Next Doctor.
Memorably Daft Double-Entendres In Episodes Of Doctor Whom (1963-2022). Number Fifty Two: City Of Death.
John Cleese - who used to be funny, several decades ago - has been given a right good shoeing on social media after he whinged about the BBC not running repeats of Monty Python's Flying Circus - apparently forgetting who owns the licensing rights to the comedy show's library. While the former troupe's popular sketch series originated on BBC in 1969, it was sold by Cleese and his surviving colleagues to Netflix in 2019, along with their movies, collections and specials. However, this appeared to be news to Cleese. 'Can anyone (including BBC employees) tell me why the BBC has not shown Monty Python for a couple of decades?' Cleese asked on Twitter on 27 December. Sarcastic replies about exactly why weren't long in coming. Cleese also, seemingly, forgot that the last broadcast of episodes of the series on the BBC took place as recently as 2019.
Only Connect fans were, reportedly, 'shocked' (and, presumably, stunned) at getting a the answer to a question correct whilst neither of the teams taking part in the episode did so. And, this constitutes 'news' according to My London quoting two or three people you've never heard of on Twitter. At least on the - odd - occasions when this blogger manages to get an Only Connect question right and boasts about it on this blog (take this recent example), he lets one of the teams who are smart enough to be appearing on the From The North favourite also get the answer correct. One imagines that The Divine Victoria was, similarly, shocked (and stunned) at the crap some people chose to care about.
On a - somewhat related - theme, dear blog reader, is it just this blogger, or does anyone else think the questions on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? are getting ridiculously easy of late?
So you may be wondering, dear blog reader, which movies has yer actual Keith Telly Topping been watching on The Stately Telly Topping Manor Plague House tellybox over the Christmas period? And, if you're not wondering that, dear blog reader, worry not. Because, Keith Telly Topping is going to tell you, anyway.
Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery (Rian Johnson, 2022). Review in a word - superb.
A review in several more words; it is brilliant, dear blog reader and, if you haven't seen it yet, you need to put that right forthwith (if not sooner). It's The Last Of Sheila on acid. It's And Then There Were None with jokes. It's Clue with ... serious bits! And From The North favourite Kate Hudson's line 'What is reality?!' might be the greatest piece of dialogue in the history of anything (not just films). This blogger thought it was great.
Elvis (Baz Luhrmann, 2022). Review in a word - stunning.
Last Night In Soho (Edgar Wright, 2021). Review in a word - masterpiece.
If you want a review of that one in several more words, tough I'm afraid - this blogger has already, as it were, been there and, indeed, done that.
Shaun The Sheep: Farmageddon (Richard Phelan and Will Becher, 2019). Review in a word - charming.
And, full of - really clever - Doctor Who jokes! What's not to love?
The Death Of Stalin (Armando Iannucci, 2017). Review in a word - hilarious.
There are, of course, many, many, many reasons to watch The Death Of Stalin, dear blog reader (the fact that it, reportedly, annoyed the Russians greatly being not least among 'em). But, overwhelmingly, the main reason is that it is From The North favourite Hello To Jason Isaacs's finest thirty minutes. 'Right, what's a war hero got to do to get some lubrication around here?!'
Help! (Richard Lester, 1965). Review in a word - buzzing!
Review in five words: Not a bit like Cagney!
The Longest Day (Ken Annakin, Andrew Marton and Bernhard Wicki, 1962) on ITV4. Now, that's more like it. Because nothing says 'Christmas' like The Invasion Of Normandy.
Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kids (George Roy Hill, 1969).
Tragically, not including that rare 'alternate' ending.
Paddington 2 (Paul King, 2017).
On Her Majesty's Secret Service (Peter Hunt, 1969).
And, after much consideration, this blogger has come to the - hopefully definitive - conclusion that Die Hard (John McTiernan, 1988) is, definitely (that's definitely), not an Easter film. Hope this helps settle this vexed question.
At some stage over the Christmas period (possibly Boxing Day although, by that point in the week, this blogger had ceased to differentiate between individual days), this blogger saw a TV advert concerning Roger Waters (the, ahem, 'creator of the Golden Age of Pink Floyd', apparently; this blogger thinks Syd Barrett might've had something to say about that). It was telling anyone that was, potentially, interested Roge is about to embark upon his 'First Ever Farewell Tour.' Which, of course, begs an obvious question, 'is there going to be a second Farewell Tour'? Sort of a contradiction in terms, that. Unless you're Frank Sinatra, obviously.
Trying to catch a bus on a Bank Holiday (like Tuesday of this week) is one of this blogger's least favourite things in all the world. Bar none. In fact, on a scale of one-to-ten, with one being 'I mildly dislike it, a bit like most of the works of Duran Duran' and ten being 'I would sooner have paper cuts over ever single part of my body - including the intimate ones - than put myself through this horrorshow again', trying to catch a bus on a Bank Holiday is up in the top eights, at least. Borderline nine.
There was, at least, one really deserved reason for this blogger putting himself through this malarkey, however.
'It's funny what a difference in sport a year can make', part one. In the curious vernacular of sports punditry, it is often said a team or individual which has performed above expectation, if offered their achieved results in advance, would have bitten off, snapped off or otherwise detached ones hand (or entire arm), in an act of pre-emptive gratitudinous dismemberment whose legal ramifications are seldom considered. One can only speculate what acts of exultant limb-removal England's cricketers and their supporters would have deemed appropriate if one had offered them a run of nine wins in ten tests, either at the moment Australia sealed their four-nil Ashes triumph in Hobart in January, or when Joe Root resigned after a series defeat in West Indies left England with one win from seventeen tests. Suffice to say, it would have hurt. The revolution in England's fortunes since Rob Key's visionary decisions to appoint Ben Stokes as captain and Brendon McCullum as coach has been one of the most astonishing ever seen in cricket. The current run of results is only the fourth time in England's test history they have constructed a sequence of nine wins in ten Tests. The most recent was when Michael Vaughan's team won eleven out of twelve in 2004. Mike Brearley led England to nine wins in ten in 1978 and 1979, including a five-one win against an Australian side shorn of almost all of its leading players by the World Series Cricket schism. Prior to that, you have to go back to early years of test cricket, when England won twelve out of thirteen between March 1885 and August 1890. Those teams all began their sequences from a position of relative preceding success - Vaughan's side had won four and drawn three of their previous ten tests, Brearley's England had won three and drawn six of theirs and the 1880s had won five and drawn two. In fact, of all the teams that have ever had sequences of nine wins in ten tests (or better) - a feat achieved by Australia (at various points in their glory years from 1999 to 2008, as well as in in the late 1940s to early 1950s and from 1930 to 1932), South Africa (2002 to 2003), West Indies (1984) and Sri Lanka (2001 to 2002) - none has ever done so having won only one of its previous ten. The recent three test Pakistan series took England's batting revolution to even greater heights of scoreboard-melting speed than they achieved last summer. They scored at 5.5 runs per over in the three tests combined, demolishing Australia's record of 4.66 per over in a 2015-16 clouting of the West Indies as the fastest run-rate by a team in a series of at least three tests. England's 4.54 against New Zealand last summer was relegated into - a distant - third place. In all, they scored at 4.13 per over in 2022, a new calendar-year record for a team that has played at least three tests, despite the statistical deadweight of their first five tests of the year, when they scored at a moderate 3.18. Since the Stokes era began, they have scored at 4.77 per over, sixty two per cent faster than they had over the preceding twelve months (2.94 per over). It is particularly telling that, of the thirteen players who have played both under Stokes and McCullum and in the previous twelve months, only one has seen his batting average decline (tailender Jack Leach) and one has posted a slower scoring rate (Ben Foakes, by a negligible amount and while playing several important innings). Only Australia in 2002 (a four or six every eleven balls) have hit boundaries more frequently than England in 2022 (one per twelve deliveries faced). If a merciful computer whizz were to hack into the statistical databases of the cricketing world and delete all evidence of the final two Ashes tests and the West Indies series, Stokes' England, with a boundary every 9.8 balls, would smash that record as well. The standout batting star in Pakistan was Harry Brook, whose majestic, multi-faceted strokeplay brought him three centuries and elevated him onto an elite list of players with three or more hundreds in their first four tests. He moves alongside George Headley, the great West Indies opener, post-war Australian opener Arthur Morris, another West Indian, Conrad Hunte, in 1958 and two Indian masters, Sunil Gavaskar in the early 1970s and Mohammad Azharuddin, who bedazzled England on David Gower's victorious 1984-85 tour. Brook was especially good against Pakistan's breakthrough spinner Abrar Ahmed, scoring one hundred and twenty five for one dismissal off one hundred and forty four balls, including nineteen boundaries (one every 7.6 balls faced; against the rest of England's top seven combined, Abrar took thirteen for two hundred and seventy five and conceded a boundary every 13.5 balls). Brook contributed to England making a national-record twenty two test centuries this year (more than in the previous three years combined), spread among eight players. In 2021, six of their seven hundreds were scored by Joe Root; in 2022, for the first time in a calendar year, six England players scored at least two test centuries (Johnny Bairstow six, Root five, Brook three and Ollie Pope, Zak Crawley and Ben Stokes two each). For all their extraordinary batting, their performance with the ball and in the field has been equally impressive. In the field, Stokes and his team have been extraordinary to watch, ceaselessly positive, inventive and unorthodox, presenting unexpected and unfamiliar challenges to their opponents. They have conceded more regular boundaries - one every fourteen balls since June, compared with one every eighteen balls over the previous twelve months - but are taking their wickets considerably more rapidly (one every eight overs, down from one per eleven overs). Ten tests is a relatively small sample size and statistics such as these are affected by a range of factors including pitches, venues and opposition, but they do highlight the shift in England's approach, with Stokes prepared to leave gaps in the field, constantly probing for weakness and opportunity and dangling a bewildering array of trademark carrots. They have turned around positions of potential defeat in at least six of their nine wins and have taken all one hundred and ninety of the one hundred and ninety wickets in their nineteen innings in the field, despite often playing on batter-friendly surfaces with unresponsive balls. The decisive difference between the teams in Pakistan was the vast superiority of England's seamers. Collectively, they took twenty six wickets at twenty four runs per wicket, the best average by a visiting seam attack against Pakistan in the last twenty three three-test series since 1991 (including those played in the UAE). Pakistan's pace bowlers, who missed the brilliant Shaheen Afridi like an albatross would miss its wings, managed a pitiful eleven wickets at 63.5, as well as being more than twice as expensive as England's pacers, conceding 5.3 an over. The thirty nine runs per wicket difference between the two teams' pace attacks is the greatest by which England have bettered opposing seamers in any series away from home (minimum three tests), their sixth greatest margin anywhere and their second biggest in their last one hundred and forty one such series, since 1967. Pakistan's seamers have never suffered a greater gulf between their collective average and that of their opponents. All in all, it has been probably the most mind-boggling, expectation-splintering sequence of matches in England's test history. If one had predicted at the start of the tour that England's two five-wicket hauls would be taken by Will Jacks and Rehan Ahmed (whose matches figures of seven for one hundred and thirty seven were the best by an England spinner on debut since 1993 and the best by a debutant England leg-spinner since 1933), people would have looked at you with surprise and, possibly, concern. If you had made that prophecy in August and then added England would win the series three-nil despite Stokes taking only one wicket and failing to reach fifty and Root making only one half-century (and a total of thirty one first-innings runs) and with Jonny Bairstow, the principal driving force of England's pyrotechnic successes of the summer, absent due to a freak golfing injury, they would have assumed you had consumed a large quantity of hallucinogenic ham sandwiches and psychotropic scones from a rogue village tea. This tour, and this English test year, has entranced, fascinated and inspired in a way that was inconceivable back in January, when Ollie Robinson, one foot halfway to Hobart airport, had his stumps splattered by Pat Cummins. Meanwhile, there's a very good piece on the BBC Sport website, Ben Stokes, T20 World Cup win, Nat Sciver - ten memorable moments for English cricket in 2022 which is well worth a few moments of your time.
'It's funny what a difference in sport a year can make', part two. From clicky to fitba, dear blog readers. This blogger's beloved (and now, mercifully, sold) Magpies cruised past Leicester City with three first-half goals to claim a sixth consecutive Premier League win and move up to second in the table in the Boxing Day clash. Just to remind anyone that may have forgotten, on the day after Boxing Day 2021, The Magpies drew one-all with The Scum at St James' Park and, after nineteen matches they sat second bottom of The Premier League with but eleven points and only one win and with relegation to The Championship looking a racing certainty. Things have improved, somewhat, since then. Chris Wood kick-started a dominant performance by smashing the opener from the penalty spot before Miguel Almirón glided past the Leicester defence to tuck away the second. Joelinton headed the third from a Kieran Trippier corner for his second goal of the season as The Magpies demonstrated the clinical edge that the hosts were missing. With England midfielder James Maddison out of the Leicester squad, as he continued to recover from a knee issue sustained before the World Cup, Brendan Rodgers' side were toothless in attack and dodgy in defence. Jamie Vardy (you know, Rebekah's husband) was introduced off the bench to add pace to The Foxes' attack in the second half and he managed to get in down the side on a couple of occasions but there was no blue shirt to meet his crosses. The Magpies are four points behind leaders The Arse, who have played two fewer games. Leicester - who registered just two tame efforts on target in the final ten minutes - remain thirteenth. Newcastle were the form team in the Premier League before the World Cup break, having recorded successive wins over Everton, Stottingtot Hotshots, Aston Villains, Southampton and The Club Formerly Known As Moscow Chelski FC. England forward Callum Wilson was missing from the matchday squad because of illness, but the match could not have started better for the visitors as Joelinton was brought down inside the area by a swipe of Daniel Amartey's leg with only a minute on the clock. Wood drilled the ball down the middle to beat goalkeeper Danny Ward and open the scoring. Leicester's defence lacked an intensity in the absence of the experienced Jonny Evans, and Almirón was the beneficiary for the second as he glided past the blue shirts after a sweeping move involving Trippier and Bruno Guimarães to open up his body and find the far corner with a finish he practised so diligently in the warm-up. The game was over as a contest before the interval when Joelinton was rewarded for his endeavour with a powerful headed goal as he completely lost marker Youri Tielemans. Leicester failed to produced their first shot on target until the eighty second minute, with Kiernan Dewsbury-Hall's tame effort failing to trouble goalkeeper Nick Pope. The hosts will be hoping for playmaker Maddison to return from his knee injury quickly as they seek to move up the table in the weeks ahead. Th' Toon's next game is at home to Dirty Leeds United on New Year's Eve.
This blogger's beloved North East of England could become the latest region to have a directly elected mayor, as the Government announced a new 1.4 billion knickier devolution deal for the region. Great. Freedom for Geordies (and Mackems). Let's get the tee-shirts organised. Hailed as 'a significant step' by local politicians, Levelling Up Secretary the rat-faced loathsome wretched odious nasty slavver-merchant, George Formby lookalike (and tit) Gove said a new devolution deal would bring 'fresh powers' over skills, transport and housing to people across Northumberland, Newcastle, Sunderland 'and elsewhere.' The devolution plan would see the introduction of a new directly elected mayor, with proposals for elections to take place in May 2024 following a consultation process. This latest devolution deal to be agreed by the Government would deliver a promised 1.4 billion smackers over the next thirty years, with fresh powers over the adult education budget and a greater say over the local skills improvement plan. The region has also been promised 17.4 million quid to support the building of new homes on brownfield land, as well as twenty million notes for regeneration projects. The rat-faced loathsome wretched odious nasty slavver-merchant, George Formby lookalike (and tit) Gove claimed he was 'proud to have agreed a historic new devolution deal with the North East that gives local leaders more power, more money and an even greater say on how their areas are run.' One or two people even believed him. 'Devolution is all about letting leaders who live and breathe the region decide what is in their best interests, for their people and for their businesses,' he added. 'A new mayor will ensure local priorities in the North East are at the heart of decision-making, while our billion-pound funding boost will provide the financial certainty needed to level up the area right now and for years to come.' Under the new North East Mayoral Combined Authority, local leaders would also be given control of up to five hundred and sixty three million knicker to improve local rail services, under the city region sustainable transport settlement. In a joint statement, local leaders and mayors across the North East, including South Tyneside Council leader Tracey Dixon and Northumberland County Council leader Glen Sanderson, said: 'This is a significant step towards securing important decision-making powers and investment for our region. This would allow us to make decisions that reflect local needs and invest wisely into projects that will make a difference for all our residents, communities and local economy. There remains a process for all councils and combined authorities to consider the details and a public consultation before a final decision is made. We are pleased that we have successfully negotiated a proposed deal which is a step towards reaching our ambition for this region. This is an important milestone in our journey and we will now engage with stakeholders to move the deal to the next stage.' Lucy Winskell, chair of the North East Local Enterprise Partnership, said: 'The development heralds new funding and decision-making powers that will unlock the creation of more and better jobs, allow us to seize new opportunities, address issues that are holding us back and critically, to compete where we have strengths on a national, sectoral and global stage, and most importantly to do this in partnership.' But Alex Norris MP, the Labour shadow levelling up minister, accused the Government of lacking ambition. 'Many people in the North East will welcome some further say and control in their area. But it appears that ministers have already rowed back on the original promise of three billion smackers in new funding as part of the deal for the North East. The huge potential of Britain is being held back by this Tory Government's lack of ambition for the country, cherry-picking the places for devolution deals, short-changing communities on past promises and holding back the real powers and investment at the centre. Labour will deliver the biggest ever transfer of power out from Westminster. Our plans will bring back good jobs, get the economy growing and give people real powers over the future for their communities in all parts of the country, not just some.'
One of this blogger's favourite actors, Stephen Greif, has died aged seventy eight, his representatives said. The actor had an extensive career on stage and screen and appeared in other series including Doctors, Coronation Street, Tales Of The Totally Expected and EastEnders. His death was announced on Monday by Michelle Braidman Associates. 'With great sadness we announce the death of our wonderful client Stephen Greif,' its statement read. 'His extensive career included numerous roles on screen and stage, including at the National Theatre, RSC and in the West End. We will miss him dearly and our thoughts are with his family and friends.' Stephen was born in Sawbridgeworth, his father, Franz, was born in Vienna and his mother, Polly, in London. Stephen attended Hordle House Preparatory School for two years with his older brother Anthony and younger brother, Peter, but in 1955 when his father's partnership was defrauded and the family endured severe financial hardship, he and Peter were enrolled in primary school in Ladbroke Grove. He went on to Sloane Grammar School in Chelsea where he excelled in sport, becoming the school's Athletics and Swimming champion representing the county in various London and Regional athletics championships - at the White City Stadium among others. Stephen attended the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art and went on to become a member of the National Theatre Company at the Old Vic and the South Bank. After starring in numerous stage productions throughout the 1960s and early 1970s, he made the transition to screen - landing the role of the villainous space commander Travis in Blake's 7. He played Harry Fenning in three series of Citizen Smith, Signor Donato in Casanova, Commander John Shepherd in Shoot On Sight and Speaker of the House Sir Bernard Weatherill in series four of The Crown in 2020. His CV also included appearances in Waking The Dead, [spooks], Shackelton, Between The Lines, Drop The Dead Donkey, C.A.T.S Eyes, Rumpole Of The Bailey, The Life & Loves Of A She Devil, Auf Wiedersehen, Pet, Dempsey & Makepeace, Hammer House Of Mystery & Suspense, The Professionals, Play For Tomorrow, Only When I Laugh, The Famous Five, The Sandbaggers, Dick Turpin, Target, The New Avengers, Dixon Of Dock Green, Special Branch, The Persuaders! and Boy Meets Girl and the movies Boogie Woogie, Eichmann, Fakers, Leon The Pig Farmer, The Great Riviera Bank Robbery, Soft Beds, Hard Battles and Nicholas & Alexandra. He is survived by his two sons.
Actor and comedian John Bird has died aged eighty six. John was part of the TV satire boom of the 1960s and well known for his many appearances opposite John Fortune. The pair appeared alongside Rory Bremner in the Channel 4 series Bremner, Bird & Fortune. Bremner led the tributes to Bird, telling the BBC his former co-star 'had this brilliant instinct for absurdity and the sharpest of minds. He was so modest, for someone who so often played these characters who were so complacent and self-aggrandising,' Bremner told Radio 4's The World At One. 'He was at the forefront of the satire boom ... he had the most wonderful of minds and was the most modest of people, he was amazing.' During an appearance on Desert Island Discs in 2004, Fortune said it had been 'very difficult to keep a straight face' during his and Bird's many, largely improvised, two-handers. Bremner called seeing Bird and Fortune working together the 'highlight' of his life and he would 'marvel at the genius of it all.' He added it was 'striking' Bird had died on Christmas Eve 'nine years, almost to the day' after Fortune, who died on New Year's Eve in 2013, aged seventy four. A statement announcing Bird's death said he died 'peacefully' at Pendean care home. Born in Nottingham in 1936, Bird went to a grammar school before going to Cambridge and meeting his comedy partner Fortune. While there, he also directed Peter Cook and Eleanor Bron in the 1959 Cambridge Footlights Revue. Bird then joined the Royal Court Theatre as an assistant director. He directed - after first mounting the premiere at the ADC theatre in Cambridge - NF Simpson's surreal comedy A Resounding Tinkle (with a cast including Cook and Bron) and George Tabori's cabaret Brecht On Brecht, which featured the Royal Court's artistic director George Devine and the great cabaret singer Lotte Lenya, Kurt Weill's muse, in her first London stage appearance since the 1930s. Over the course of his career, Bird also made appearances in Jabberwocky, comedy shows Yes, Prime Minister, A Very Peculiar Practice, Chambers and One Foot In The Grave, as well as Jonathan Creek, Inspector Morse and Midsomer Murders. His CV also included appearances in Bert & Dickie, Absolute Power, In The Red, Giving Tongue, Murder Most Horrid, Paris, To Play The King, Shadow Of The Noose, El C.I.D, Emmerdale, Filthy, Rich & Catflap, Travelling Man, Educating Marmalade, Blue Remembered Hills, The Melting Pot, That's The Way The Money Goes, Dawson's Weekly, After That, This, But Seriously, It's Sheila Hancock, Private Eye, Kate, Jackanory, If It Moves, File It, Have Bird, Will Travel, A Series of Birds, My Father Knew Lloyd George and Not So Much A Programme More A Way Of Life and the movies A Fish Called Wanda, The Seven Per Cent Solution, A Dandy In Aspic, Take A Girl Like You, and Thirty Is Dangerous Age, Cynathia. During the 1970s, when Ugandan dictator Idi Amin was at the height of his infamy, Bird starred on a comedy record (The Collected Broadcasts of Idi Amin) based on Alan Coren's Punch columns. John was married to Ann Stockdale from 1965 to 1970; she was the daughter of Grant Stockdale, the US Ambassador to Ireland. He then married television presenter Bridget Simpson from 1975, divorcing in 1978. He was unhappy in his private life at the time and his career was stalled; he began drinking heavily and taking amphetamines. By the mid-1970s he was, he said, seriously ill, paranoid and was contemplating suicide. His third wife was Libby Crandon, a concert pianist. The couple lived in Reigate, Surrey, in the 1980s and had settled in Newdigate, near Dorking, where they raised Libby's two sons from a previous marriage Dan and Josh and kept pet llamas.
Brazilian football legend Pelé, arguably the greatest player ever, has died at the age of eighty two. He is credited with scoring a world record twelve hundred and eighty one goals in thirteen hundred and sixty three appearances during a twenty one-year career, including seventy seven goals in ninety two matches for his country. A few of them were a bit good. The only player to win the World Cup three times, being part of the Brazil squads when they won the trophy in 1958, 1962 and 1970 (although he missed the 1962 final through injury), Pelé was named as FIFA's Player of the Century in 2000. He had been suffering with kidney and prostate problems in recent years. Pelé had surgery to remove a tumour from his colon in September 2021 at the Albert Einstein Hospital in São Paulo, after the tumour was detected during routine tests. He was readmitted to hospital in late November 2022. His daughter Kely Nascimento has kept fans updated on her father's condition with regular social media updates from hospital. On Thursday she posted a picture of what appeared to be Pelé's family's hands on his body in hospital and wrote: 'Everything we are is thanks to you. We love you infinitely. Rest in peace.' Pelé was born Edson Arantes do Nascimento in October 1940, in Três Corações, Minas Gerais, the son of Fluminense footballer Dondinho (João Ramos do Nascimento) and Celeste Arantes. He grew up in poverty in Bauru, São Paulo and earned money for his family by working in tea shops. Taught to play by his father, he could not afford a proper football and usually played with either a sock stuffed with newspaper and tied with string, or a grapefruit. He made his debut for Santos FC in 1956 and was in the national side a year later as a seventeen year old. After the 1958 and 1962 World Cups, wealthy European clubs, such as Real Madrid, Juventus and The Scum, tried to sign him. In 1958, Inter Milan even managed to do so, but Angelo Moratti was forced to tear the contract up at the request of Santos' chairman following a revolt by Santos' fans. He would remain at Santos until 1974. He then came out of retirement and enjoyed three seasons - and celebrity status - playing for New York Cosmos in the late 1970s. He also appeared in Escape To Victory (1981) but we can probably forgive him for that. In 1970, Pelé was investigated by Brazil's military dictatorship for suspected leftist sympathies. Declassified documents showed Pelé was investigated after being handed a manifesto calling for the release of political prisoners. Pelé did not get further involved with political struggles in the country after that. Among the most successful and popular sporting figures of the Twentieth Century, Pelé was one of the most lauded players in the history of football and was frequently ranked as the best player ever. Following his emergence at the 1958 World Cup he was nicknamed O Rei ('The King'). Among his contemporaries, Dutch star Johan Cruyff (in this blogger's opinion, the only player who could push Pelé close to the title of the world's greatest player) stated, 'Pelé was the only footballer who surpassed the boundaries of logic.' Brazil's 1970 World Cup-winning captain, Carlos Alberto opined: 'His great secret was improvisation. Those things he did were in one moment. He had an extraordinary perception of the game.' According to Tostão, his strike partner at the 1970 World Cup: 'Pelé was the greatest - he was simply flawless. And off the pitch he is always smiling and upbeat. You never see him bad-tempered. He loves being Pelé.' Another Brazil teammate, Clodoaldo, commented on the adulation he witnessed: 'In some countries they wanted to touch him, in some they wanted to kiss him. In others they even kissed the ground he walked on. I thought it was beautiful.' According to Franz Beckenbauer, West Germany's 1974 World Cup-winning captain: Pelé was 'the greatest player of all time. He reigned supreme for twenty years. There's no one to compare with him.' Former Real Madrid and Hungary star Ferenc Puskás stated: 'The greatest player in history was [Alberto] Di Stéfano. I refuse to classify Pelé as a player. He was above that.' Just Fontaine, French striker and leading scorer at the 1958 World Cup said 'When I saw Pelé play, it made me feel I should hang up my boots.' England's Bobby Moore commented: 'Pelé was the most complete player I've ever seen, he had everything. Two good feet. Magic in the air. Quick. Powerful. Could beat people with skill. Could outrun people. Only five feet and eight inches tall, yet he seemed a giant of an athlete on the pitch. Perfect balance and impossible vision. He was the greatest because he could do anything and everything on a football pitch. I remember Saldanha the coach being asked by a Brazilian journalist who was the best goalkeeper in his squad. He said Pelé. The man could play in any position.' Sir Bobby Charlton added: 'I sometimes feel as though football was invented for this magical player.' During the 1970 World Cup, when Paddy Crerand (who was part of the ITV panel) was asked, 'How do you spell Pelé?', he replied, Easy: 'G-O-D.' Pelé was also known to be a fair player, who stood out for his charismatic leadership and sportsmanship on the pitch. His warm embrace of Bobby Moore following the Brazil's narrow victory over England at the 1970 World Cup is viewed as the embodiment of sportsmanship, with the New York Times stating the image 'captured the respect that two great players had for each other. As they exchanged jerseys, touches and looks, the sportsmanship between them is all in the image. No gloating, no fist-pumping from Pelé. No despair, no defeatism from Bobby Moore.' In his early career, he played in a variety of attacking positions. Although he usually operated as a centre forward, his wide range of skills also allowed him to play in a more withdrawn role. In his later career, he took on more of a deeper playmaking role behind the strikers, often functioning as, effectively, an attacking midfielder. Pelé's unique playing style combined speed, creativity and technical skill with physical power, stamina and athleticism. His excellent technique, balance, flair, agility and dribbling skills enabled him to beat opponents with the ball and frequently saw him use sudden changes of direction and elaborate feints in order to get past players. It's a largely forgotten football fact that Pelé even once played against this blogger's beloved Magpies. The game came when Newcastle embarked on a four-match tour of the Far East. The date was 4 June 1972 at the Happy Valley stadium in Hong Kong and the match was between United and Santos. Pelé, was then thirty one and the game came two years after Brazil's triumph in Mexico and a year after he had retired from international football, but the man in the number ten shirt could still pack a mighty punch. Former Toon full-back Frankie Clark recalled the game: 'We were two-one up at half-time. We were the better team before the break, but it was a different matter after half-time. Pelé suddenly decided to turn it on. He scored three fantastic goals in about fifteen minutes. After that, he went off .. we lost four-two but it was a great experience being on the same pitch as the world's best player.' Presenting Pelé with the Laureus Lifetime Achievement Award, former South African president Nelson Mandela said, 'To watch him play was to watch the delight of a child combined with the extraordinary grace of a man in full.' Andy Warhol (who painted a portrait of Pelé) said 'Pelé was one of the few who contradicted my theory: instead of fifteen minutes of fame, he will have fifteen centuries.' After retirement he became a global ambassador for the game and a UNESCO goodwill ambassador. He dabbled, briefly, in politics (he was Brazil's minister of sport for two years in the 1990s). He assisted Rio's bid for the 2016 Olympics and supported various charitable causes, such as Action for Brazil's Children, Gols Pela Vida, SOS Children's Villages, The Littlest Lamb, Prince's Rainforests Project and others. Married three times, he fathered seven children.
There was a chance to see all of the - visible - planets in the solar system in the night sky on Thursday of this week. Five were visible with the naked eye, while the two furthest away, Uranus and Neptune, needed to be viewed with binoculars. It was challenging to see Mercury and Venus in the UK due to their low position in the sky. The best time to see the spectacle was shortly after sunset. Those further South, including Southern Europe or closer to the equator, were more likely to be able to see all the planets appear in a vertical line in the sky. So if you're one of From The North's four dear blog readers in Italy ('caio!'), congratulations, you may have seen it. Saturn and Jupiter were brightest and Mars was, as usual, a salmon red colour. 'Mars at the moment is at its best from the UK now until about 2032. It's going to be quite a long time before we see this one again, so it's well worth taking a look now,' Doctor Robert Massy of the Royal Astronomical Society told BBC News. Doctor Robert - who doesn't work for the National Health, apparently - advised sky-watchers to try and find 'a clear vantage point' to look towards the South-West horizon shortly after sunset. Venus appeared (as usual) the brightest, low in the South-West towards the horizon. Jupiter was the next brightest planet and appeared higher in the sky where Saturn was also visible. Anyone looking through a telescope should also be able to see details like the moons of Jupiter and, perhaps, cloud systems or dark markings on both Jupiter and Mars, Doctor Robert added. Skies were forecast to be clearest in the South of England and the South and West of Wales. So, if you're one of From The North's six dear blog readers in ... Swansea ('there's lovely, isn't it?'), congratulations, you may also have seen the celestial wonder. But in the North of England and Scotland clouds mostly obscured the view(s). Typical because this blogger was really looking forward to catching a glimpse. He did manage to spot Jupiter, Saturn and Mars whilst on his way round the corner from The Stately Telly Topping Manor Plague House to pick up his salt and chilli King Prawn with Yung Chow fried rice so, that was a bonus. In June Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter, and Saturn were all visible when they aligned in a rare planetary conjunction.
The last From The North Headline of The Week award for 2022 goes to a previous recipient of the converted title, Kent Online and their Anger Over Plan To Remove Cobbles In Ashford's Lower High Street.
There is, of course, an almost-related joke older than Methuselah which deserves an outing at this juncture.
There is also, of course, the question of whether the acclaimed shoe retailer F-Troupe genuinely was, as their sign claims, 'cobblers to Her Majesty' or whether that was just something they shouted during a royal parade?
Thank you, dear blog reader, thank you. This blogger is here all week. Because everywhere is shut, it's Christmas, haven't you noticed? In fact, it would appear that many of you have since the regular From The North page hits daily traffic has, once again, enjoyed a significant upswing during the festive period.
So, that concludes 2022 here at From The North dear blog reader. If you've been asleep for the last year and want to know what you missed, this is a useful summation of some of the things that went spectacularly wrong. This blogger intends to spend New Year's Eve as he has spent much of the past year, in The Stately Telly Topping Manor Plague House, watching telly. At least now, due to medical malarkey, he has an excuse for not going oot on The Lash and getting himself ratted to within an inch of his sanity. He would not dream of advising all of you to do the same of course ...
However you intend to spend the final hours of the year, though, this blogger wishes all of From The North's increasing number of dear blog readers, a safe and enjoyable end to the year and start to 2023. Working on the assumption that it can't, possibly, be any worse than the one it's replacing. This blogger hopes to see you all here next year.
