Depressing to report, dear blog reader, the From The North Comments Section which this blogger recently mentioned had been reopened due to popular(ish) demand has had to be closed again. This is because of further - entirely unwanted - correspondence to this blog from the extremely tiresome online stalker whose behaviour caused its closure in the first place. Isn't it proper great to know that there's always someone desperately keen to waste the time and spoil the enjoyment of others? A rather dispiriting example of the Twenty First Century at its most crummy. There are, of course, laws against Cyberstalking - quite wide-ranging ones with some rather swingeing penalties for those who can be shown to have transgressed them as it happens. Particularly those who have been, repeatedly, asked to cease and desist their naughty stalking ways. Therefore, rest assured, this blogger is currently in active discussions with the relevant authorities to see if there is any way to persuade this joker that his sinister attentions and his presence here are really not wanted. Time will tell. It usually does.
Let it be stated here and now, dear blog reader, that yer actual Keith Telly Topping is - most of the time - quite a nice chap. However, when it comes to the unwanted attention of persistent and rude planks who simply won't take a hint, this blogger has always considered that he, personally, resembles a curious mixture of Terry Collier from Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads?, Dennis Hopper's unnamed photojournalist in Apocalypse Now and a little bit of Linda Manz's Gorgeous from Out Of The Blue. You know, just for a bit of - necessary - perspective.
That There Bradley Walsh is set to depart Doctor Who in upcoming New Year's Day special Revolution Of The Daleks as was previously announced. And, with his time on the TARDIS now behind him Bradley has, seemingly, found himself in a nostalgic mood, revealing in an interview with the Radio Times that his proudest moments on the BBC's long-running popular SF family drama were when the series was tackling social and environmental issues. 'We ... have carried through global issues. It's been a through-narrative of almost every single episode,' Walsh told Radio Times. 'Whether it's Rosa Parks, or whether it's the plastics episode. It's a whole narrative through the series.' In particular, Bradley highlighted the 2018 episode Rosa, which dealt with issues of race in a historical setting, as one of the episodes he was most proud of during his time on the show and credited both showrunner Chris Chibnall and Jodie Whittaker with helping bring these stories to life. 'My favourite episode of all the shows - I think I've made twenty two - was the Rosa Parks one, by a country mile. And, how relevant has that now been, over the last year? Chris Chibnall is not frightened to confront stuff like this. I think that's great. And, the fact that we have someone like The Boss. And The Boss is Jodie Whittaker by the way, The Boss of the acting department is great. Her compassion, her thoughts and the way she wants to live her life, in every day, comes across on-screen. She's a very compassionate woman. Her humility and everything is off the radar.' Bradley also praised the way the series had depicted his character Graham's cancer worries and mental health issues, telling the magazine that he felt the story 'needed to be told. You want to portray a story and people that have something in common with the people that are viewing the show,' Walsh explained. 'So whether it be a cancer issue. Whether it be mental health. Or a fear of spiders! You've got to try and deal with it in such a compassionate way as well.'
Now, dear blog reader, as previously observed, it appears as though there could be a somewhat unusual plotline for the forthcoming New Year's Day special by the sound of it ...
Although, as more than a few of yer actual Keith Telly Topping's dear Facebook fiends pointed out, there are previous precedents for exactly this sort of left-field malarkey.
More than a few precedents, in fact ...
A fake TV game-show host reportedly tricked two men into being filmed carrying out 'naked challenges' for the chance to win a cash prize, police have said. In 2018, a twenty eight-year-old man told The Met that he had been filmed involved in various bare-nekked-type doings in a hotel room in Newham by another man who claimed this was 'for a show.' Earlier this year, a thirty one-year-old man reported similar malarkey had happened to him in 2013, the force said. Scotland Yard added officers 'believe there may be more victims out there.' The twenty eight-year-old approached police in June 2018 to report that a man claiming to be 'in the entertainment industry' had asked him to take part in a game show for the chance to win five thousand smackers. He claimed that he was then required to take part in several 'nude challenges' which were filmed by the suspect who subsequently kept the footage. The second victim, who was identified by police in February this year, told officers that a man had 'coerced' him into 'doing something similar' in a hotel in South London in August 2013. Officers arrested a twenty nine-year-old man in January 2019 on suspicion of voyeurism and he was released under investigation. Sergeant James Mason said: 'We believe there may be more victims in relation to these events. I urge anyone who may be a victim of similar crimes or incidents from 2013 to the present day, to come forward with information.' It might've been James Mason speaking or it could, possibly, have been Eddie Izzard doing an impression of God. One or the other.
So, dear blog reader, what - the more curious of you may be wondering - has soon-to-be-former President Mister Rump been up to this week? Well, he's been losing an erection. Again. Which, admittedly, was funny. And, he's been whinging about it. (It must be said, it's the 'no wisdom' statement that makes it art. Three of these justices were people you personally picked and you couldn't get one of them to support you, you orange-faced clown.) Soon-to-be-former President Mister Rump has also been whinging about lots of other things, as it happens. His own Attorney General, for instance. The - Republican - Governors of two states which didn't vote for him and then refused to overturn the people's verdict on his whim. He, personally, being responsible for performing 'a miracle' and discovering a Covid-19 vaccine and not getting the credit for it from, you know, everyone. The length of time it took the FDA to approve said vaccine for public usage. The forthcoming Biden Administration. Not starting a war with North Korea. And, 'fake news' in general. Et cetera, et cetera. He's quite a sight when he's filed, dear blog reader. His orange-face near enough glows.
Slightly closer to reality, Toby has spoken, dear blog reader. If you're not already doing so, just do it.
After all, here is something else for you all to consider.
From that, dear blog reader, to another regular From The North feature ...
Brot (The Valhalla Murders). This blogger thinks Nína Dögg Filippusdóttir and Björn Thors are great.
Star Trek: Discovery. Back through the mirror.
The Queen's Gambit. This will fulfil your daily pawn needs.
Knives Out.
Mission Impossible: Fallout.
The Death Of Stalin.
The Irishman.
Once Upon A Time In Hollywood.
Batman Versus Superman: Dawn of Justice.
Paranoiac.
Whoever Slew Auntie Roo?
Neither The Sea Nor The Sand.
Hot Fuzz.
Almost Famous: Untitled.
The Usual Suspects.
And, JFK. Which, incidentally, remains the movie containing this blogger's favourite line of dialogue in all cinema: 'You're a Goddamn liberal, Mister Garrison. You don't know shit 'cause you've never been fucked in the ass!'
Meanwhile, earlier this week, this blogger with a popular beat combo of the 1960s (you might've heard of them). And, a garlic and chilli King Prawn doo-dah. Which he really deserved, just in case you were wondering.
By Hell, dear blog reader, but it was more than a shade nippy again a couple of days this week at the Stately Telly Topping Manor Plague House. Had there been a Brass Monkey in the vicinity, he'd have thought he'd had a result.
This blogger was off into Th' Toon for his first post-lockdown proper shop in four weeks the day after lockdown ended in the first week of December. Though, on Northumberland Street - which, considering this was early December was hardly jam-packed to the zenith and beyond - they still seemed jolly keen to get the general message of doom and darkness and decay and The Red Death holding its illimitable dominion over all across to the general public.
Fenwick's window this year was looking just a bit bedraggled. For the uninitiated, Fenwick's is Newcastle's largest independent department store and, every December since the early 1970s, their windows on Northumberland Street feature some form of festive display, usually involving quite primitive but, still rather charming, animatronics. Forty years ago, when we were all kids it seemed like the eighth wonder of the world. Now, it's the Twenty First Century and the human race is teetering on the brink of oblivion so, you know, ones sense of wonder seems to have become somewhat misplaced.
The very first Fenwick's window display - in 1971 - incidentally was based on the characters of Camberwick Green and Trumpton. Like many people of his age, this blogger remembers that one vividly. It seemed magic at the time ...
Still, this blogger managed to get pretty much everything he needed and/or had missed out on for the last month from his - entirely legal - visits to various shops before returning, safely, to the Stately Telly Topping Manor Plague House.
Barbara Ann Deeks was born in Shoreditch in August 1937, the daughter of a fruit and veg street seller and a dressmaker. Her mother, Rose, had great ambitions for Babs, paying for elocution lessons in an attempt to lose her cockney accent and move her up the social ladder. Windsor later said that her mother's family felt she had married beneath her. A bright child, she sailed though her eleven-plus examination. Her mother wanted her to go to university but she persuaded her otherwise by her performance in a school show. Rose spent her savings on a place for Barbara at the Aida Foster School in Golders Green. The teachers took their turn in trying to iron out her cockney accent but, all failed. Barbara made her stage debut at the age of thirteen. Her father, John, walked out on the family when Barbara was fifteen and her mother forced her to give evidence at the divorce hearing, something she never forgot. The unhappiness of her home life drove her to seek solace in a string of casual relationships, which led to her having three abortions by the time she was twenty one. She had changed her name to Windsor when she appeared in her first film in 1954, as one of the schoolgirls in The Belles of St Trinian's. Her big break came when she joined Joan Littlewood's company at the Theatre Royal in Stratford appearing in Lionel Bart's influential (and controversial) London musical Fings Ain't Wot They Used To Be. Her role as Maggie Gooding in Littlewood's 1963 film Sparrers Can't Sing gained her a BAFTA nomination. There were also early roles in TV sitcoms including the BBC's The Rag Trade, which ran for two years from 1961. East End social life saw showbusiness intermingling with local gang culture and Windsor became friends with the Kray twins and their murderous entourage. She dated older brother Charlie Kray for six months - 'the most perfect gentleman I have ever known' - and also had a, brief, relationship with Reggie - before he, messily, murdered Frankie The Mad Axeman and Jack The Hat in an orgy of blood-splattered carnage, obviously. In 1964, she married a rather more small-time criminal, Ronnie Knight, beginning an often stormy union which lasted more than twenty years.
In the same year, she was cast in Carry On Spying, the ninth film in the successful comedy franchise and the last to be shot in black and white. Her saucy laugh and flirtatious behaviour were perfect for the seaside postcard innuendo on which the success of the films was based. But she was adamant that beneath the on-screen character was a serious actress. 'I am not like my image,' she once said. 'Everyone thinks I just bounce in, but I study and everything has to be just right.' Although she appeared in only a third of the Carry On series, they defined her career and later made it difficult to escape the inevitable typecasting. Arguably her most memorable appearance was in Carry On Camping, when her bikini top flew off during some strenuous physical exercise. The scene - complete with Kenneth Williams' legendary comment: 'Ooo, Matron, take them away!' - had to be shot three times, with the garment being removed by the deft use of a fishing rod in the hands of an off-screen assistant. During her Carry On career she had a ten-year affair with co-star Sid James, which ended just before the actor's death in 1976. It was later portrayed in the ITV drama Cor Blimey!, on which Windsor acted as an advisor. At first, she fended him off, but his infatuation continued. 'I cared deeply for him,' she recalled. 'I didn't at first, he was just my leading man and I used to push him off. But he was an old-fashioned charmer, opening doors and all the rest of it, making you feel like a lady. So our relationship was inevitable.' In between the Carry On films she continued her stage career, receiving a TONY Award nomination for the Broadway production of Oh! What A Lovely War.
She also starred as the music hall performer Marie Lloyd in the biopic Sing A Rude Song, a role she reprised in the BBC series The Good Old Days. In the mid-1970s she toured with her own stage show, Carry On Barbara and appeared as Maria in Twelfth Night at Chichester Festival Theatre. But, as she reached her forties, the image of the bubbly blonde with the sexy wiggle was hampering her ability to get work. 'I found myself in the doldrums in the early 1990s. I was too old to play the dolly bird any longer and I looked too young to play a woman of my real age.' She did get the part of the raunchy landlady in a stage production of Joe Orton's black comedy Entertaining Mister Sloane, which was directed by her Carry On co-star and close friend Kenneth Williams. Her marriage to Ronnie was coming to an end, after he fled to Spain following his involvement in a multi-million-pound robbery from a security company. Her career received a major boost in 1994 when she was chosen to play landlady Peggy Mitchell in the BBC soap EastEnders. Ironically, she had spent some of the previous few years pulling pints in a pub in Buckinghamshire that she owned with her second husband, Stephen Hollings. She admitted that she had found the idea of EastEnders daunting, joining what was an already well-established drama. 'I was as scared starting on EastEnders as I was when I first stepped on to the Carry On set,' she later recalled. 'I had to prove myself in a different world.' She based the character of Peggy on Violet Kray, the matriarch of the gang family she had known so well in her youth. On set she found herself acting as a mother figure to many of the soap's young actors, some of whom had no formal training in drama. And, at the age of seventy, she told one interviewer that she still got a thrill from being wolf-whistled in the street. She was forced out of the soap for two years after contracting the debilitating Epstein-Barr virus at the end of 2002, which left her bedridden. There was a brief return in 2004, but she was not well enough to resume the role full-time until the following year. Shortly after picking up a lifetime achievement award at the British Soap Awards, she announced she was quitting EastEnders to spend more time with her third husband, Scott Mitchell. 'I'll be so sad to leave Peggy behind,' she said at the time. 'She's such a wonderful character to play.' There was also a problem that she withheld from her fans. She had begun finding it hard to learn her lines and she kept repeating certain sentences and stories. After a series of mental agility tests and a brain scan, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2014. 'I'm so sorry,' she mouthed to her husband. Two years later she filmed her final scenes as Peggy Mitchell. EastEnders were reluctant to kill off such an iconic character but she rang the producers to insist. Her husband Scott went to see them to make sure they understood this really was the end. 'Look into my eyes,' he said. 'She is not coming back.' On set they had an autocue ready but she did not need it. Peggy Mitchell, terminally ill with breast cancer, took a lethal overdose of pills and died in her sleep. In the 2016 New Year's Honours, Barbara was made a Dame for her services to charity and entertainment. But soon afterwards, her Alzheimer's became more difficult to hide. By the time she turned eighty in August 2017, a continual confusion had set in. She made her final screen appearance in 2017's biopic Babs, in which her younger self was played by Samantha Spiro. She became more and more housebound, upset at having to keep her secret from the fans who flocked to her whenever she set foot outside. In May 2018, she made the decision to go public with her condition and was still well enough to feel overwhelmed by the warmth of the public reaction. Dame Barbara may have retreated from the public gaze but around her friends and family took on the role of campaigning and fundraising for dementia care in her honour. Adam Woodyatt and Jake Wood were among several of the EastEnders cast who ran the London Marathon in 2019 in a team called Barbara's Revolutionaries. 'It means so much to me to see some of my closest friends coming together to support this cause,' Dame Barbara said. 'I know it will mean a lot to everyone else living with dementia.' Later that year Dame Barbara put her name to an open letter with her husband calling on the Prime Minister for a 'long-term funding solution to end the social care crisis.' It coincided with the couple's appointment as ambassadors for the Alzheimer's Society. In July 2020, Barbara's husband had to make the difficult decision to move her into a care home as her condition deteriorated during the Coronavirus lockdown. Both on and off-screen Dame Barbara will be remembered as the sex-pot with a heart of gold, navigating a complicated and sometimes tumultuous private life. She enjoyed her successes, faced life's challenges bravely and found happiness in her final marriage to Scott.
As 2020 comes to a close, dear blog reader, the solar system has decided to grace us with a moment of cosmic majesty that hasn't been witnessed in nearly eight hundred years. On 21 December, Jupiter and Saturn will align so closely in the night sky that they will almost appear to collide from our vantage point, creating a radiant point of light often referred to as the Star of Bethlehem or the Christmas Star. You would need to get in your -socially-isolated - TARDIS and go all the way back to just before dawn on 4 March 1226, to see a closer alignment between these planets visible in the night sky. 'Alignments between these two planets are rather rare, occurring once every twenty years or so, but this conjunction is exceptionally rare because of how close the planets will appear to be to one another,' said Patrick Hartigan, an astronomer at Rice University, according to Forbes. The event, sometimes referred to as The Great Conjunction, occurs roughly every nineteen or twenty years, but this is the closest the planets will line up since the Middle Ages. Technically, Saturn will be ten astronomical units from Earth and Jupiter will be five au away, but they will appear to be less than the diameter of a full moon apart. To catch a glimpse of the phenomenon for yourself, make sure you have a clear view to the South West about forty five minutes after sunset on 21 December (the Winter Solstice). The planets will be at their closest then, but the Christmas Star will be visible from anywhere on Earth for about one hour after sunset in the Northern hemisphere for the entire fourth week of December. If you're viewing with a telescope, you may also be able to see Jupiter and Saturn's largest moons orbiting them. The next Great Conjunction this close won't happen until March 2080.
Dwight Gayle scored the winner on his first appearance of the season as this blogger's beloved (though unsellable and, currently plague-ridden) Magpies returned from a Coronavirus-enforced absence to heap more misery on struggling West Bromwich Albinos. Gayle, who was injured during a pre-season friendly against Crewe, came off the bench to find the net with a superb header eight minutes from time at The St James' Park Plague House on Saturday. The Magpies, playing for the first time in more than two weeks, were given the lead after just twenty seconds by Miguel Almiron. West Brom's improvement after half-time was rewarded by Darnell Furlong's equaliser. But Gayle's strike against a club where he once spent time on-loan lifted Newcastle to eleventh in the Premier League table. With his side having been beaten in five of their past six games, Baggies boss Slaven Bilic said 'I don't get those signals or that information' when asked if his position is under threat. Newcastle's training ground was closed for a week after a Covid-19 outbreak which caused their game against Aston Villa to be postponed following their two-nil victory at Crystal Palace a fortnight ago. The Magpies only returned to training on Tuesday after a period in which the players were forced to self-isolate, with manager Steve Brucie - nasty to see him, to see him nasty - saying that, as of Monday, he had 'huge doubts' over how many players he would have available for this fixture. As it turned out, Bruce was only missing two players that started in the win at Crystal Palace, though the absence of both Federico Fernandez and Javier Manquillo left a defensive shortage which midfielder Isaac Hayden filled with aplomb. After their enforced lay-off, the hosts flew out of the blocks through Almiron's rapid strike and continued to have the better of the first half, posing a constant threat on the break. Almiron's opener after twenty seconds was Newcastle's second fastest Premier League goal after Alan Shearer netted ten seconds into a game against Manchester City in January 2003. Something that Big Al was mercilessly reminded of by his oppos Gary Lineker and Ian Wright on Match Of The Day later that evening (both of whom reckoned Shearer's strike should've been ruled out for handball!) United were in complete control for most of the first-half and could - and probably should - have extended their lead with both Almiron and Joelinton having opportunities. However, West Brom grew into the game at the end of the opening forty five minutes, improved further after a half-time rejig and were rewarded with Furlong's equaliser. Pushed back, Newcastle introduced Gayle to make his return from a knee injury suffered pre-season. He immediately saw a header cleared off the line by Matt Phillips, but another header, from a wonderful cross supplied by fellow substitute (and, fellow former West Brom loanee) Jacob Murphy, left Sam Johnstone with no chance. 'I can't give enough credit to the players and the staff who have worked tirelessly behind the scenes over the last couple of weeks and certainly the medical department whose decision to shut us down was spot on,' said Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him nasty). 'We've got a good couple of wins and a huge month coming up and we could do with a fully fit squad, so let's brush it down and try not to get carried away yet - but I couldn't be more pleased.' From a West Brom kick-off, a long ball saw Branislav Ivanovic outmuscled by Callum Wilson, with Joelinton collecting the ball to square for the free Almiron, who finished with aplomb from an angle. The Baggies were disjointed and toothless, missing the guile of Matheus Pereira, who was beginning his suspension for last week's red card. After two goals in the past two weeks, Conor Gallagher kick-started West Brom before Bilic's half-time intervention breathed some life into his team. The experienced Charlie Austin was introduced to provide a threat up front, while Phillips was released to play further forward. It was Phillips' deep cross that provided the goal, Furlong energetically nipping in ahead of the dithering Jamaal Lewis to poke a smart finish inside the post. Just as Bilic changed the game with his substitutions, so too did Brucie (nasty to see him, to see him nasty) with the decisive introduction of Gayle and Murphy. Newcastle have won three of their past five Premier League home games, one more than they had in their previous eleven at the St James' Park Plague House.
