Sunday, August 06, 2017

For Life, Not Just For Christmas

The Lord Thy God Steven Moffat (OBE) has confirmed the previously rumoured story that he stuck with Doctor Who through the end of 2017 to save the show's annual Christmas special. Chris Chibnall is set to replace The Moffinator as showrunner for the next full series in 2018 - you knew that, right? - but neither writer had originally planned to write this year's festive episode. 'There was one big glitch, which was Christmas,' Moffat told the Digital Spy website.
'I was going to leave at the end of series ten - I had my finale planned and what I wanted to do with it. I had a good notion of that. Then, I learned at a drinks event somewhere that Chris didn't want to start with a Christmas [episode] so, at that point, [the BBC] were going to skip Christmas. There'd be no Christmas special and we would've lost that slot.' Moffat suggested that, if Doctor Who had skipped having a Christmas episode in 2017, it might never have got its much-coveted 25 December slot back. 'Doctor Who would've lost that slot if we hadn't [done a special] because Christmas Day is now so rammed. So I said, probably four glasses of red wine in, "I'll do Christmas!" and then had to persuade Peter [Capaldi] that's how we were leaving. Then, I had to work out how you could get mortally injured in one episode and spend an hour regenerating on Christmas Day, which I hopefully have done!' While a change of showrunners is an important event for fans, Steven admitted that handing the reins over to Chibnall is 'incredibly prosaic' in many ways. 'It's like handing over any job,' he said. 'Though Chris was incredibly, and is incredibly, fastidious about not wanting to seem to lurk behind me, ready to knife me in the back! I never felt that – he was absolutely welcome to be there any time he wanted, I had no problem with it all. He's a good friend.' So, there you have it, dear blog reader; The Lord Thy God Steven Moffat (OBE) is not only a fine writer and a jolly good bloke but also, he saved Christmas. Is there no end to the chap's talents?
Jodie Whittaker says that becoming the first female Time Lord will be both 'a blessing and a curse.' Speaking to BBC 6Music in her first broadcast interview since her Doctor Who role was revealed, she said getting the part was 'incredibly emotional.' She praised fans of the long-running and popular BBC family SF drama series as 'the most amazing, creative people' and said that she had spoken to the actors who have previously played The Doctor. 'The overwhelming sense was this is such an exciting journey,' she said. 'It's to be enjoyed. There's no advice you can do - no person plays this part the same. What a freeing thing it is.' Jodie said that when she found out her audition had been successful: 'I didn't faint - I played it really cool and cried!' She said that she was 'looking forward' to the 'freedoms and fun' and the 'scale of the storylines' - especially as she is going to be working with Broadchurch creator Chris Chibnall. 'I already know Chris - I already know how incredible he is. The direction he's going to take it is going to be amazing. I get excited by it,' she told Shaun Keaveny. 'I don't even know what the journey is. Every script I read will be brand new. This certainly is very different.' Asked about the reaction to her being the first female Doctor, Jodie replied: 'This will be a blessing and a curse. I've missed a lot of the fun stuff and probably the bad stuff. I'm not on any type of social media. The only time I see anything is if mates screengrab and send something to me.' She said that she had seen 'an amazing video' of a young girl's reaction to the clip that revealed the identity of the new Doctor - and admitted the role 'was not in the realm of possibility' when she was growing up.
The BBC News website also posted a really charming video of Jodie being shown footage of some cosplayers who have already decide to become her Doctor which you can check out, here. Brilliantly, one of those featured is Athena Stamos, a Facebook fiend of this blogger. You can see Athena about thirty seconds into the piece and Jodie's - extremely enthusiastic - reaction straight afterwards. It's one of a number of Doctor Who-related videos currently available on the BBC News website including this one, of Jodie talking in more depth about how she feels about becoming the new Doctor and this one, in which yer actual national heartthrob David Tennant his very self spoke about a potential female Doctor several months before his Broadchurch co-star was cast.
Meanwhile, Christopher Eccleston has become the latest former Doctor to have his say on the appointment of the first female Doctor, Jodie Whittaker. Speaking while guest hosting Radio 4's Loose Ends on Saturday, Big Ecc was asked about the casting choice by Sara Cox. 'I'm just delighted it wasn't Clive Anderson,' he said. 'There was a rumour. She's working class, she's Northern, what can go wrong?' Well, precisely.
Anyway, dear blog reader, now it's time for this ...
It's Monday Morning Again (Part The First): Twin Peak: The Return, episode thirteen. 'Thanks to you, I am really starting to shovel myself out of the shit!' Luscious, dear blog reader. Properly fine and awesomely fantastical.
Check out the reviews; here and here and here and here and here. 'I'm not sure who I am, but I'm not me.' 'This is Existentialism One-Oh-One!' And here and here and here. Even in his sleep-deprived state, yer actual Keith Telly Topping saw that it was great.
Then there was it's Monday Morning Again (part the second): Game Of Thrones, series seven, episode four. 'Chaos is a ladder.'
That, dear blog reader, was large.
And, by 'large' this blogger actually means really 'uge in its fek-off bigly massiveness. As has, indeed, agreed with by many learned voices. Here. And here and here and here.
'Men shit themselves when they die, didn't they teach you that at fancy lad's school?' And here and here and here and here. And here. And here and here. And, probably in lots of other places as well.
A tool-stiffeningly violent fifty one minutes of telly with loads of people getting burned to death. That was great too!
The fourth episode of Game Of Thrones seventh series (ie. the one that this blogger has just - entirely legally - watched) was leaked online in advance of its UK broadcast in the early hours of Sunday. HBO's distribution partner Star India confirmed that this was 'a separate hack' from the one widely reported earlier in the week. Series seven's first three episodes had managed to stay out of the hands of the hackerisers but the fourth, The Spoils Of War, was leaked onto the Interweb sometime on Friday. 'We take this breach very seriously and have immediately initiated forensic investigations at our and the technology partner's end to swiftly determine the cause,' a Star India spokesperson said in a statement. 'This is a grave issue and we are taking appropriate legal action.' Earlier in the week, the summary of an unseen Games Of Thrones episode and copies of other HBO shows were put online by a hackerising group which managed to breach the firm's network. The hackers uploaded a text file of the Games Of Thrones episode and an annotated video of the script. The script for episode four had a date of April 2016, suggesting it was an early draft rather than the finished episode. Hackers also shared three episodes of other popular HBO TV shows on a site created to host what they stole.
There was a fascinating Neil Gaiman interview with the Independent this week in which the popular author stated: 'There'll probably be five seasons of American Gods based on the first book.' One can only hope, dear blog reader.
Here's the final and consolidated ratings for the Top Twenty Four programmes broadcast in the week-ending Sunday 30 July 2017:-
1 Diana Our Mother: Her Life & Legacy - Mon BBC1 - 8.82m
2 Coronation Street - Mon ITV - 7.77m
3 EastEnders - Mon BBC1 - 6.67m
4 Emmerdale - Fri ITV - 6.46m
5 Casualty - Sat BBC1 - 6.27m
6 Poldark - Sun BBC1 - 6.00m
7 In The Dark - Tues BBC1 - 5.55m
8 Countryfile - Sun BBC1 - 5.22m
9 Wild Alaska Live - Sun BBC1 - 4.88m
10 Long Lost Family - Wed ITV - 4.82m
11 BBC News - Sun BBC1 - 4.73m
12 Six O'Clock News - Mon BBC1 - 4.32m
13 Holby City - Tues BBC1 - 4.08m
14 Peter Kay's (Lack Of) Comedy Shuffle - Fri BBC1 - 3.97m
15= Ten O'Clock News - Tues BBC1 - 3.84m
15= Inside London Fire Brigade - Thurs ITV - 3.84m
17 Who Do You Think You Are? - Thurs BBC1 - 3.69m
18 Watchdog - Wed BBC1 - 3.61m
19= The National Lottery: Who Dares Wins - Sat BBC1 - 3.58m
19= Pointless Z-List Celebrities - Sat BBC1 - 3.58m
21 Would I Lie To You? - Sat BBC1 - 3.49m
22 Love Your Garden - Wed ITV - 3.36m
23 Mrs Brown's Boys - Sat BBC1 - 3.32m
24 Game Of Thrones - Sun Sky Atlantic - 3.27m
These consolidated figures, published weekly by the British Audience Research Bureau, include all viewers who watched programmes live and on various forms of catch-up TV and video-on-demand during the seven days after initial broadcast. They do not, however, include those who watched on BBC's iPlayer or ITV Player via their computers. Don't ask this blogger why, dear blog reader, they just don't all right? The second episode of Nadiya's British Food Adventure was the most-watched programme of the week on BBC2 with a total audience of 2.66 million punters (a fractional increase over the, already impressive, audience for the opening episode). Inside The Factory (2.51 million) and Top Of The Lake: China Girl (2.49 million) followed, in what was - across the broad - a very good week for the channel. University Challenge was watched by 2.46 million, Gardeners' World by 2.29 million, the final episode of Ripper Street by 1.82 million, The Sweet Makers coverage by 1.76 million, the return of Only Connect by 1.74 million, Mastermind by 1.67 million, Ten Puppies & Us by 1.65 million and Dad's Army 1.60 million viewers. World War One Remembered: Passchendaele drew 1.33 million, Z-List Celebrity Antiques Road Trip, 1.23 million, Addicted Parents: Last Chance To Keep My Children, 1.18 million, the latest Qi repeat, 1.12 million and Against The Law, 1.07 million. The Mash Report lost almost half of its audience between its first and second episode, the latter being watched by nine hundred and seventy nine thousand. Channel Four's highest-rated broadcast was for The Handmaid's Tale (2.16 million) ahead of coverage of Women's Euro 2017: England Versus France (2.11 million) and F1 Hungarian Grand Prix Highlights (1.93 million). Twenty Four Hours In A&E had 1.91 million, Nine, Nine, Nine: What's Your Emergency, 1.63 million, The Last Leg With Adam Hills, 1.54 million, Naked Attraction, 1.39 million and Bear About The House: Living With My Supervised Pet, 1.33 million. GPs: Behind Closed Doors was Channel Five's top performer with an audience of 1.47 million. Draining The Bermuda Triangle drew 1.43 million and The Dog Rescuers With Alan Davies, 1.37 million viewers. The Dirty Dancing Story had 1.35 million. The most-watched episode of Big Brother during the week was Friday's which had an audience of but 1.04 million. Sky Sports Main Event's live coverage of the Hungarian Grand Prix was seen by three hundred and thirty five thousand punters in addition to the four hundred and sixty two thousand who watched the simultcast on Sky Sports F1. Sky Sports Premier League still didn't have any actual Premier League football to show this week - it being the summer, and all - so its most watched programme was a highlights package, Best Premier League Games, with twenty six thousand. Sky Sports Football was, also, confined to repeats and friendlies as they wait, anxiously, along with everyone else for the start of the new season. La Liga Greatest Games was seen by twenty five thousand and Live MSL: Atlanta Versus Orlando, by twenty three thousand. On Sky Sports Cricket, Sunday's coverage of Live Test Cricket and England's thoroughly deserved victory over South Africa in the third test at The Oval had four hundred and thirty three thousand viewers. Thursday's Live T20 Blast was watched by one hundred and twenty eight thousand. Monday's News HQ At Five was top of the shop on Sky Sports News HQ, with one hundred and five thousand punters. Sky 1's weekly top-ten was headed by Ross Kemp Extreme World (four hundred and fifty two thousand viewers). The movie Crocodile Dundee drew four hundred and eleven thousand. The latest episode of Zoo followed with four hundred and twenty five thousand. The Simpsons was seen by three hundred and forty thousand. A repeat of that hateful exercise in smugness and celebrity-by-non-entity, A League Of Their Own drew two hundred and two thousand viewers, every single one of whom needs their bloody heads examining for any signs of brain activity if they find this toxic, full-of-its-own-importance vomit even remotely amusing. Sky Atlantic's list was, of course, topped by the third episode of Game Of Thrones' seventh series with a remarkable 3.27 million viewers, by a huge distance the largest multichannels audience of the week. A Monday night repeat of the previous week's episode of Game Of Thrones attracted 1.16 million. Thronecast was watched by five hundred and eighty nine thousand. The latest episode of the much-trailed drama Riviera had three hundred and seventy one thousand whilst Ballers was seen by two hundred and fourteen thousand and the best TV drama of the year, Twin Peaks: The Return, by one hundred and seventy eight thousand punters. On Sky Living, Chicago Fire drew six hundred and nine thousand whilst Madam Secretary had five hundred and sixteen thousand. Nashville attracted three hundred and twenty six thousand and How To Get Away With Murder, two hundred and forty four thousand. Sky Arts' The Bloody Awful Queen Group: The Magic Years was watched by ninety seven thousand viewers. Martin Scorsese's Bob Dylan: No Direction Home had forty two thousand whilst Classic Albums: Elton John Goodbye Yellow Brick Road attracted forty one thousand. Lewis was ITV3's top-rated drama (nine hundred and sixty seven thousand viewers). Endeavour was seen by eight hundred and forty eight thousand, Foyle's War, by five hundred and sixty two thousand and Midsomer Murders by five hundred and forty thousand. UEFA Europa League 2017 Live headed ITV4's weekly list with five hundred and ninety one thousand punters whilst the movies Thunderball and Dunkirk followed with three hundred and eighty one thousand and three hundred and seventy four thousand respectively. ITV2's list of shame was topped by ghastly puddle of rancid phlegm, Love Island - a truly depressing 3.06 million for Monday's final of the hateful 'z-list celebrity scumfest.' Broken Britain in one ghastly statistic, dear blog reader. Vera headed ITV Encore's top ten with one hundred and twenty seven thousand viewers, followed by The Americans (one hundred and thirteen thousand) and DCI Banks (eighty thousand). The Real Housewives Of New York was watched by two hundred and seventy seven thousand of the sort of people who enjoy such risible exercises in z-list-celebrity-by-non-entity on ITVBe. BBC4's list was headed by Britain's Treasure Islands (six hundred and fifty seven thousand punters). Norman Wisdom: His Story had five hundred and sixty six thousand and Timeshift: Shipwrecks - Britian's Sunken History, five hundred and two thousand. The latest two episodes of the imported Spanish thriller I Know What You Did were seen by five hundred and thirty eight thousand and four hundred and forty thousand respectively. Dictators & Despots: A Timewatch Guide had four hundred and two thousand, Ten Things You Didn't Know About Avalanches, three hundred and eighty nine thousand, Storyville: Mad Dog - Gaddafi's Secret World, three hundred and eighty six thousand, Hyper Evolution: The Rise of The Robots, three hundred and eighty four thousand and First Night Of The Proms coverage by three hundred and forty five thousand. 5USA's latest Chicago PD episode was viewed by five hundred and seventy three thousand viewers, NCIS: New Orleans by four hundred and thirty five thousand, Bull by four hundred and fourteen thousand and NCIS: Los Angeles by four hundred thousand. NCIS topped the most-watched programme list of CBS Action (one hundred and twenty nine thousand). Family Guy was the most-watched show on FOX's list with two hundred and forty nine thousand. American Dad! drew one hundred and forty three thousand and an NCIS series fourteen repeat, one hundred and forty one thousand. Ransom was seen by two hundred and seventy three thousand viewers on The Universal Channel, followed by a double bill of Beverly Hills Cop II and Beverly Hills Cop III (one hundred and forty seven thousand and one hundred and thirty five thousand) and Chance (ninety nine thousand). On Dave, Not Going Out was watched by three hundred and fifty six thousand, Traffic Cops, by two hundred and ninety eight thousand, the film Demolition Man, by two hundred and seventy three thousand and Qi XL, by two hundred and seventy thousand. Have I Got A Bit More News For You attracted two hundred and sixty five thousand. Drama's Death In Paradise was seen by five hundred and forty four thousand viewers. Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries was watched by four hundred and five thousand. Alibi's highest-rated programme of the week was Rosewood (two hundred and thirty four thousand) whilst The Coroner had one hundred and forty five thousand, Death In Paradise, one hundred and forty three thousand and Father Brown, one hundred three thousand. Inspector George Gently was watched by eighty nine thousand. The Sony Channel's top ten was headed by the movie Drive Hard (fifty four thousand). Saving Hope drew forty nine thousand and See No Evil, Hear No Evil, thirty five thousand. Yesterday's Impossible Engineering had two hundred and seventy nine thousand, whilst Fleetwood Mac- Don't Stop attracted one hundred and seventy nine thousand. On the Discovery Channel, Deadliest Catch was seen by one hundred and sixty eight thousand viewers. Yukon Men had eighty eight thousand, Great White Serial Killer Lives, eighty seven thousand, Return To The Isle Of Jaws, seventy nine thousand and Naked & Afraid Bares All, seventy four thousand. From The North favourite Wheeler Dealers appeared in the weekly top tens of both Discovery Shed (forty four thousand) and Discovery Turbo (thirty thousand). Discovery History's Air Wars headed the top ten list with thirty three thousand. Curiosity: Nefertiti - Mummy Queen Mysteries attracted nineteen thousand, whilst Off The Rails and Gunslinger both had seventeen thousand. On Discovery Science, Food Factory was seen by seventy three thousand viewers. On Quest, Salvage Hunters was watched by two hundred and seventy thousand. Pick's Air Ambulance and Brit Cops had audiences of two hundred and ninety one thousand and two hundred and seventy three thousand respectively. National Geographic's list was headed by Drain The Ocean with eighty five thousand viewers, followed by Drain The Sunken Pirate City (seventy nine thousand) and To Catch A Smuggler: JFK Airport (fifty six thousand). National Geographic Wild's Sharks Versus Predators was watched by sixty one thousand. The History Channel's most-viewed programmes were the fifth episode of Robert Redford's The West (two hundred and thirty thousand) and Mountain Men (one hundred and ten thousand). Cowboy Outlaws on the Military History channel was seen by forty thousand punters. Barbarians Rising pulled in thirty four thousand. Most Shocking & Stunning Murderings, Killing Spree, From The North guilty pleasure Homicide Hunter and A Town & Country Murderisation were Crime & Investigation's top-rated programmes with eighty one thousand, seventy three thousand, forty thousand and forty thousand blood-and-snots-lovers, respectively. Murderisation Calls, Hear No Evil, The Perfect Murderings and Murderisation Comes To Town headed Investigation Discovery's list (sixty nine thousand, fifty nine thousand, fifty five thousand and forty seven thousand respectively). The latest of GOLD's Mrs Brown's Boys repeat had two hundred and fifty nine thousand. Comedy Central's largest audience of the week was for one of the eight hundred and ninety seven million episodes of Friends with one hundred and ninety six thousand. Your TV's repeat of Bones series two continued with one hundred and four thousand. On More4, The Yorkshire Dales & The Lakes was the highest-rated programme with six hundred and twenty eight thousand viewers. Outlander had six hundred and seven thousand and The Royal House Of Windsor, three hundred and ninety thousand. E4's list was topped by Don't Tell The Bride (1.43 million viewers) and Hollyoakes (nine hundred and twenty two thousand). The opening episode of Midnight Texas, headed Syfy's top-ten with five hundred and one thousand. The Horror Channel's top ten was headed by Black Death (one hundred and thirty thousand). The channel's top-ten also included Pandorum (one hundred and eight thousand), Urban Legend: Bloody Mary (ninety seven thousand), the Hammer classic The Brides Of Dracula (ninety three thousand) and Where The Devil Hides (seventy eight thousand). Sapphire, Vicious Circle and The Hospital Nurse topped Talking Pictures list, with fifty eight thousand, forty nine thousand and forty eight thousand respectively. On Forces TV, Military Driving School was seen by thirty seven thousand. Hercules drew two hundred and ninety three thousand on Spike whilst The A-Team was watched by two hundred and thirty thousand. And, the person in acquisitions at Spike who bought that just loves it when a plan comes together. Atlantic was watched by twenty nine thousand on Eden, whilst Penguins - Spy In The Huddle had twenty eight thousand. Insane Pools: Off The Deep End was the Animal Planet's most-watched programme with thirty two thousand. Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders on W attracted three hundred and fifteen thousand punters. True Crime's Law & Order: Criminal Intent was seen by forty four thousand viewers and Psychic Detectives by forty thousand. On True Entertainment, Taggart was watched by one hundred and fifty five thousand murrrrrdaaah lovers. M*A*S*H had one hundred and eight thousand and The Avengers, one hundred and three thousand. John Torode's Korean Food Tour drew seventy four thousand on Good Food. TLC's list was headed by the, frankly, nasty Curvy Brides Boutique and the equally horrible Katie Price: My Crazy Life (one hundred and sixty three thousand and ninety five thousand). Shameful waste-of-oxygen Ex On The Beach on MTV was viewed by five hundred and forty four thousand. Ghost Adventures was seen by three hundred and nineteen thousand on Really. Most Haunted's Scariest had two hundred and three thousand. What's New, Scooby-Doo! had eighty four thousand viewers on Boomerang. Zoinks. Empires: The Roman Empire In The First Century topped PBS America's weekly list with twenty nine thousand viewers. Proper Rock N' Heavy Metal drew eighteen thousand on Scuzz. On Cbeebies, Bing was seen by five hundred and seventeen thousand, Olobob Top by four hundred and seventy six thousand and Sarah & Duck by four hundred and seventy two thousand. Alvinnnn!!! & The Chipmunks had one hundred and ninety nine thousand on the Pop Channel. British F1 Sidecar topped Front Runner's weekly list with two thousand viewers. Five Star's most watched show was Wentworth Prison with five hundred and thirty four thousand. On AMC, Better Call Saul was seen by fourteen thousand. Hardcore Pawn drew ninety five thousand punters on Blaze. Botched attracted one hundred and fourteen thousand viewers on E! The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills had one hundred and forty eight thousand on Lifetime. Desmond's and The Night Bus, were the most-watched shows on London Live with forty three thousand and thirty four thousand respectively. Sabrina, The Teenage Witch attracted eleven thousand on The Vault.

About ten million Britons have skipped sleep or made themselves tired the next day because they were binge-watching TV, new research suggests. And, the problem with that is, exactly ...? More than half of British adults watch more than one episode of the same show back-to-back at least once a month. Of those, a third - almost ten million - admit they have 'missed sleep' or 'become tired' as a result, while a quarter say that they have 'neglected household chores' to keep watching their favourite TV shows. And, again, the question must be asked, is this a bad thing? If one is tired of television, then one is tired of life. Everyone knows that. Media watchdog Ofcom - a politically appointed quango, elected by no one - did the research into what it called 'box-set Britain.' Findings in the broadcasting regulator's Communications Market Report include: Among over-sixteens, fifty five per cent of the population watch more than one episode of the same programme in the same sitting at least once a month; that proportion rises to eighty two per cent for viewers aged sixteen to twenty four and more than one in ten in that age group say they 'binge-watch' every day. Among sixteen to twenty fours, almost half (forty seven per cent) say that they have 'taken action' to cut back on binge-watching in some way. The BBC's iPlayer was the most popular on-demand service among adults, used by sixty three per cent - followed by ITV Hub (forty per cent), YouTube (thirty eight per cent) and Netflix (thirty one per cent). Ninety one per cent of people still watch at least some live broadcast TV every week but the viewing time has dropped by fourteen per cent since 2010. There is a growing age gap; over-sixty fours watched an average of five hours forty four minutes of broadcast TV per day in 2016, up fifty minutes from 2006. In contrast, sixteen to twenty fours watched one hour fifty four minutes per day - down forty one minutes since 2006. Orange Is The New Black was the most popular show on subscription streaming services in the UK between October and December 2016. Lindsey Fussell, consumer group director at Ofcom, said: 'Technology has revolutionised the way we watch TV. The days of waiting a week for the next episode [of a TV series] are largely gone, with people finding it hard to resist watching multiple episodes around the house or on the move. But, live television still has a special draw and the power to bring the whole family together in a common experience.'
TV Moment Of The Week: The 'Jimmy Hill round' on Friday's Only Connect. Skill.
'Is That Really The Best Job You Can Get These Days?' Moment Of The Week: Keeley Hawes needing a Ford Fiesta advert to pay the mortgage, seemingly. Top soundtrack, mind!
This blogger's old mucker, yer actual Jonny Arnold has written a properly superb piece on The Naked Civil Servant for the very excellent We Are Cult website which Keith Telly Topping urges you to check out, dear blog reader. Go here. Tell 'em Keith Telly Topping sent you.
The third series of Supergirl has picked up another A-list guest star in the form of Carlos Bernard. The actor, best known for his role as Tony Almeida in 24 and its now very cancelled sequel series, Legacy, will appear in the forthcoming series of the CW series as Maggie Sawyer's father, Oscar Rodas according to TV Line.

Anyone tuning-in to see Daniel Craig dashing across the rooftops of Prague in Casino Royale on ITV4 on Friday were probably left feeling more than a little bit shaken and/or stirred. In a case of intrigue - fit for 007 himself, perhaps - Bond fans are trying to work out why (why, for the love of God, why?) 'the wrong film' was shown during the 9pm slot. Both the digital and physical listings suggested that the 2006 version of Casino Royale was scheduled for broadcast. According to some fans, the ITV4 continuity announcer even introduced the movie by hyping it as Daniel Craig's first adventure. Instead, however, the 1967 version of Casino Royale appeared. Needless to say lots of people on Twitter were Godammn pissed off. So, that - in and of itself - was funny.
Meanwhile, in a victory for James Bond completists and pedants everywhere, a federal judge has refused to dismiss a proposed class action suit alleging that MGM and Twentieth Century FOX 'deceptively' marketed a James Bond box-set. Variety report that Mary L Johnson, of Pierce County, Washington, purchased one of the box-sets from Amazon in February of 2016 for one hundred and six dollars only to discover that Casino Royale (1967) and Never Say Never Again (1983) were not included. She filed a lawsuit in April, accusing MGM and Twentieth Century FOX Home Entertainment of 'violating Washington's Consumer Protection Act and breach of express warranties.' Judge Ricardo S Martinez issued a ruling on Thursday dismissing parts of the complaint, but allowing the substance of the allegations to move forward. Martinez's ruling hinges on the claim that the box set included 'all' of the James Bond films. The defendants claim that the word is 'open to some interpretation' and qualifies as advertising 'puffery' which is not subject to litigation. Johnson's legal team - from the firms Eisenhower Carlson PLLC, of Tacoma and Statman Harris & Eyrich LLC, of Cincinnati, neither of whom, obviously, are ambulance chasing worthless scum or anything even remotely like it - countered that there is 'nothing vague or subjective' about the word 'all'. No reasonable person, they continue, 'unless a James Bond expert, would understand that "all" does not mean all and "every" means only certain films.' Quite why anyone who is not a James Bond 'expert' would be buying such a DVD box-set, they didn't say or, indeed, speculate upon. In his opinion, Martinez declined to dismiss the claim at this stage and said that a jury would have to decide whether the term was misleading or not. 'A jury must determine whether a reasonable person would expect Casino Royale and Never Say Never Again to be included in a "complete" set of James Bond films,' Martinez wrote. 'From the Defendants' perspective, this claim will have to ... "Die Another Day."' Oh, very droll yer honour. The judge granted a motion to dismiss parent companies MGM Holdings and Twenty First Century FOX from the suit and dismissed a claim of breach of implied warranty of merchantability.
The Sun - which is alleged to be a 'newspaper' - is to pay 'substantial damages' to the former EastEnders producer Sean O'Connor, after they wrongly accusing him of bullying. O'Connor announced in June that he would be leaving the BBC soap opera after a year in the job, in order to concentrate on his film career. The Sun admitted a front page article 'wrongly suggested' - with absolutely no supporting evidence, let it be noted - that the producer had been sacked for,they claimed, bullying cast members. The - sadly not grovelling enough - apology appeared online and on page two of the newspaper on Friday. But, not on page one where the original claims had appeared. Odd, that. Referring to a front page article from 23 June, the paper said: 'We wrongly suggested that Mister O'Connor had been sacked as a result of bullying the cast of the show and to such an extent that the actors had complained to the BBC. We now accept that this was wrong. Mister O'Connor had not been accused of bullying anyone, none of the cast complained to the BBC about him bullying them and his decision to leave the BBC had nothing to do with any claims of bullying. We apologise to Mister O'Connor for the distress caused and have agreed to pay him substantial damages and legal costs.' Before joining the square in Walford, O'Connor was the editor of BBC Radio 4's The Archers and was responsible for the highly acclaimed domestic abuse story between Helen Archer and Rob Titchener. Speaking of his decision to leave Eastenders, O'Connor said that working with the cast and crew at Elstree had been 'an absolute privilege.' He is now working with Sherlock writer Mark Gatiss on a big screen feature on the 1940s murderer Neville Heath.
If watching University Challenge makes your brain hurt, you might want to take an aspirin before listening to a new show that Radio 4 are reported to be planning. Eric Monkman and Bobby Seagull - the breakout stars of the last series of the BBC2 quiz show - are getting behind the microphone. The pair will present Monkman & Seagull's Polymathic Adventure on Radio 4 on 21 August. The duo became friends during filming, despite being captains of rival teams. Monkman and Seagull each went viral in their own right, with the former proving so popular that he sparked what was termed 'Monkmania' among viewers. Well among viewers that read the Gruniad Morning Star and use Twitter a lot, anyway. The Cambridge economics student attracted a loyal following for his animated facial expressions. The twenty nine-year-old's blue jumper, impressive intellect and tendency to answer questions with an upward inflection cemented his place in the hearts of UC fans. He and Seagull became friends off-screen and even travelled to interviews together during the series as their popularity soared. So, what will their new radio show actually be about? The pair are set to explore whether being highly intelligent is, actually, a useful quality. They will discuss whether it is possible to be a useful polymath with guests including an almost textbook example of the genre, national treasure Stephen Fry.
Anita Rani has claimed that the pay gap at the BBC is as much about race and class as it is about gender. The - probably soon-to-be-former - Countryfile presenter said that it was 'disappointing' to see the pay disparity when the corporation revealed its highest paid on-screen talent last month. Rani told The Press Association: 'It's difficult for everybody but, for me, as much as it's about gender I think it's about race and it's about class.' The presenter added 'there is a lot to be sorted out. I think this is the beginning of a big shift and a change, which is a good thing,' she said. Asked if the revelations were as she expected, she said: 'Knowing something intellectually and seeing it on paper are always two very different things.' Indeed. So are fridges and motorbikes. And, indeed, books and jelly. Hopefully, this will be the start of an exciting new series, Anita Rani's Some Things Are Different From Some Other Things. This blogger would watch it. Then again, as the 'box-set Britain' story above proves, this blogger would watch pretty much anything.
The Grand Tour presenter and comfortable hate-figure for Middle Class hippy Communist Gruniad Mroning Star readers everywhere, yer actual Jezza Clarkson is being treated for pneumonia after being admitted to hospital in Majorca. The fifty seven-year-old was 'on a family holiday' on the Spanish island 'with his family,' according to BBC News when he was taken ill. Well, if it was 'a family holiday' who the frig else would he be on holiday with? Jesus, the quality of journalism at the BBC is becoming a sight to see these days, dear blog reader. Jezza tweeted to his friend Jemima Goldsmith that he was 'in a wheelchair, connected up to tubes, in a hospital.' Jezza later posted another message on social media saying: 'To keep you up to date, I'll be out of action for quite some time, apparently.' He said it was 'really really annoying, because I've never had one day off work since I started in 1978.' Jezza also thanked fans for 'all the good wishes.' His co-presenter, Richard Hammond, tweeted a link to the message and added, helpfully: 'Wow. I didn't know he had a job.' The former Top Gear host was on a break from filming his new Amazon Prime show and had planned to return to work next week. Jezza is the second Grand Tour host to be extremely admitted to hospital this year. In June, The Hamster his very self was flown to hospital in Switzerland after crashing an electric supercar in Switzerland and breaking his leg. The car, which was being filmed for the latest series of The Grand Tour, burst into flames shortly after Hammond crawled the wreckage. The presenter said that he thought he was going to die during the incident, during which he became airborne and crashed after completing the Hemberg Hill Climb. Clarkson noted that the show's third co-presenter, James May, was now the 'only functioning member' of The Grand Tour team, adding: 'God help us!'
Poor Rachel Riley, all she wants in life is a nice, sensible word to display on the Countdown board. Yet from time to time, she gets the odd naughty one to display which makes for awkward, if hugely amusing, teatime TV viewing. This week was no exception, as contestants tried to unscramble the latest set of innocent-looking letters. Dictionary Corner's Susie Dent suggested 'orgasmed' for a score of eight from the letters on display. The studio audience broke out in a somewhat reluctant round of applause, though Rachel did what a professional should do – smiled and, ahem, displayed her orgasmed. 'Excellent. And, a very satisfactory eight it is too,' Nick Hewer added, straight-faced. This blogger is sure all dear blog readers will agree that getting oneself orgasmed can, indeed, be very satisfactory.
Stockard Channing has been praised by critics for her first West End appearance since 1992. The Times said the former-West Wing star is 'quite brilliant' in Apologia, in which she plays an art historian at odds with her two sons and their partners. According to the Daily Torygraph, the seventy three-year-old 'beautifully lets a lifetime of hurt seep through [her character's] brittle facade.' Downton Abbey's Laura Carmichael also appears in Alexi Kaye Campbell's play. First staged in 2009, the piece has been reworked to accommodate an American lead actress. Its opening this week comes amid reports - albeit, not from anyone that you'd actually trust as far as you can spit - that NBC is 'considering' bringing The West Wing back to TV screens. Channing played First Lady Abbey Bartlet in the White House-based drama, which originally ran from 1999 to 2006 and which this blogger once wrote a book or two about. Apologia - whose title is defined in the play as 'a written defence of one's opinions and conduct' - sees Channing's character, a former 1960s radical, clash comically with her son's respective girlfriends over a birthday dinner. One, played by Carmichael, is a fervent Christian, while the other, played by Doctor Who's Freema Agyeman, is a materialistic soap actress. Speaking ahead of Thursday's press night, Channing described her character as 'a feminist and a scholar with a bit of a rebellious streak. She's very smart, extremely witty and she's not very diplomatic, so there's a lot of wonderful language,' she told the BBC. One of the biggest laughs of the evening comes when Carmichael's character, Trudi, expresses optimism over the nascent presidency of Barack Obama. 'Let's wait and see how things turn out in the long run before we start jumping with joy,' replies Channing's Kristin presciently. 'Things rarely turn out the way we expect or how we hope,' says Channing, going on to make her own comparison between Obama's tenure and what has followed. 'We could do with a little grace, a little diplomacy, self-control, discretion - the list goes on,' she says in reference to the White House's current incumbent and hairdo. Appetite for more of The West Wing remains strong, stoked in part by a popular podcast - The West Wing Weekly - which dissects the show episode-by-episode. Yet Channing does not believe the Aaron Sorkin-created drama will emulate the likes of Will & Grace and Roseanne and mount a comeback. 'I don't think it will return,' says the actress, whose other famous roles include Rizzo in 1978's Grease and Julianna Margulies' mother in The Good Wife. Speaking on Thursday, Alexi Kaye Campbell said that he was 'excited' Channing had crossed the Atlantic to appear in his play. He told the BBC he had intentionally written the play in response to a perceived lack of roles available for older female leads. 'Before I wrote the play there was a constant conversation about not enough parts being written for older women,' he said. 'Most of the most interesting people I know are older women, so that was something I wanted to consciously address.' Writing in the Gruniad Morning Star, critic Michael Billington described Channing as 'a serious, intelligent actor [who] induces sympathy for the character of a seemingly monstrous matriarch.' Yet he took issue with what he called Kristin's 'astonishing insensitivity' and questioned Campbell's 'assumption that left-wing militancy is incompatible with good manners.' Well, he writes for the Gruniad so he would, wouldn't he? Channing last appeared in the West End in 1992 in Six Degrees Of Separation. She went on to star in the film version of John Guare's play, for which she was nominated for an Oscar in 1994. Since then she has been seen in London in The Exonerated at the Riverside Studios in Hammersmith and Awake & Sing at the Almeida Theatre is Islington.
Benedict Cumberbatch, Tom Hollander and Mark Strong performed alongside a number of other actors and celebrities at a secret performance of Letters Live at the Wilderness Festival, in Oxfordshire. Letters Live involves performers reading monologues based on real life correspondence. At Wilderness the event took on a music theme with letters from artists as well as correspondence addressed to them. Strong gave voice to the legendary US rock critic Lester Bang and his 1978 letter to The Village Voice, on his theories about the birth of punk music. Cumberbatch performed a angry letter written by Queen drummer Roger Taylor to Rolling Stone magazine, disputing a negative review of the band. 'Your peculiar 1970 time-warp attitude, coupled with an innate congenital miscomprehension of rock and roll continues to fascinate and annoy,' Benny read to laughter from the audience. Zawe Ashton read a letter written by a Fijian schoolchild to The Rolling Stones which, apparently, now hangs in the Rock/or and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. The letter was prompted by an off-the-cuff remark by the bands manager about the muted reception to their arrival on the island. 'Just wanted you to know, me and my friends with nearly the whole school, hate you,' she began. 'Because you don't look like men, you are nothing but animals and smell like them too.' Hollander brought roars of laughter from the audience as he faithfully quoted an outrageously graphic love letter by 'Country Gardens' composer Percy Grainger, as florid as it was pornographic. There were some sober moments as Strong recalled a powerful letter written in 1884 from the artist Vincent van Gogh to his brother, Theo. 'You don’t know how paralyzing it is, that stare from a blank canvas that says to the painter you can't do anything,' Strong read. 'The canvas has an idiotic stare, and mesmerises some painters so that they turn into idiots themselves.'
Magic Mo Farah lit up the London Stadium once again on Friday night as he survived a brutal collective effort from his rivals to storm to his third consecutive world ten thousand metres gold. Roared on by a capacity crowd as loud as anything experienced during his Olympic triumphs five summers ago, Mo almost fell twice late in the race as an epic contest developed, before kicking down the home straight in trademark fashion to finally pull away. These are Farah's final track championships and, not since his golden run of victories began seven years ago has he been tested like this. Yet he proved himself equal to those physical and tactical challenges, his young son and three daughters joining him on the track afterwards as the celebrations rolled around the arena. Uganda's Joshua Cheptegei came second for silver and Kenya's Paul Tanui third, the winning time of twenty six minutes forty nine seconds just three seconds off Farah's personal best. The time reflects the pressure Mo was put under, the pace surging in the middle stages, the moves coming from all around as his rivals threw everything they had at him. Much has changed since 2012 but this felt like a throwback to those golden nights in East London. Coming into this final, he had eight consecutive ten thousand metres victories under his belt, including gold at the Olympics in both 2012 and 2016, two golds at the Worlds and another at the European Championships. And, from the start his rivals looked to work together to upset his plans, Cheptegei and Kenya's Geoffrey Kamworor taking the field through the first thousand metres in a brisk two minutes and thirty nine secs. Kamworor, Tanui and their fellow Kenyan Bedan Muchiri hit the front at four thousand six hundred metres, throwing in a sixty one-second lap before Ethiopia's Abadi Hadis surged again. Mo was content to sit in around sixth or seventh as Eritrea's Aron Kifle then took up the pace, followed by Uganda's Timothy Toroitich and then Cheptegei again and only with eight hundred metres to go did the thirty four-year-old Mo make his move. Six hundred metres out Farah led and he would not relinquish that lead despite being tripped so badly with three hundred metres left that he took a step off the track. But there was no stopping him, the capacity crowd screaming him home once again. BBC 5Live commentator Mike Costello noted: 'It was astonishing the discipline he showed to win and he looked so in control it was almost like his great hero Muhammad Ali to George Foreman in the Rumble of the Jungle when he said "is that all you've got?"' On TV, the soon-to-retire Brendan Foster noted: 'That was the best ever. Mo's last ever the thousand metres in a Championship in his favourite stadium. He was hurting in the middle. He brought the crowd to their feet. He is a ruthless running machine.' Geordie Bren'sMackem oppo, Steve Cram, added: 'If he had only ever won this race tonight it would have been a phenomenal achievement, but it's another gold to add to his achievements. To have ten global gold medals is incredible. He's a true British sporting hero.'
Burt Bacharach has called for a change in the law over music plagiarism. He said that recent court cases - like the ones involving 'Blurred Lines' and Ed Sheeran's 'Photograph' - have made it 'a difficult time' for songwriters. Burt suggested that a panel of 'music experts' should be used to decide on copyright issues in future. He told BBC News that he has seen 'bad decisions made' and said that the current situation was 'messy.' In one high-profile copyright infringement case, US jurors ruled that Robin Thicke and Pharrell Williams had copied aspects of the late Marvin Gaye's 'Got To Give It Up' in their song 'Blurred Lines'. The Gaye family estate was awarded over seven million bucks in damages, though an appeal has since been launched. Earlier this year, Ed Sheeran settled a twenty million dollar copyright infringement claim against him by Martin Harrington and Thomas Leonard, writers of Matt Cardle's 2011 single 'Amazing', over his song 'Photograph'. Bacharach, a multiple Grammy and Oscar winner is famed for such classics as 'I Say A Little Prayer', 'Alfie' and 'Close To You', said it was 'a delicate matter. It's not a perfect science,' he told the BBC's Colin Paterson. 'I think what needs to be done is there has to be maybe three, four outstanding experts, musicologists, who can be trusted, who can differentiate and say "that's derivative, that's not derivative."' Bacharach explained that with a limited number of notes, some songs were 'bound' to be similar. 'It's one octave you've got to play with. Some songs sound like others. Things are messy enough in the world of pop music and records and downloads, free music and things like that.' Bacharach said there were samples on 'top records' - including those that used some of his original work. 'There's a version of 'Close To You' by Frank Ocean that's almost literally - well, it's the same title, you can't copyright a title - musically, it's almost note-for-note with [the original] 'Close To You'. So that becomes a situation. It's not a lawsuit - they just have to pay more money because it's more usage than a sample.' Bacharach has written a new musical with Steven Sater that marks his first original score for the theatre since 1968's Promises Promises. Some Lovers - described as 'a contemporary parable about the gifts we give one another' - runs at The Other Palace in Central London from 24 August to 2 September.
The UK's first black Shakespearean actor is to be honoured with the unveiling of a blue plaque in Coventry. Ira Aldridge was given the job of manager at Coventry Theatre after impressing the people of the city with his acting during a tour in 1828. The impression he made during his time there is credited with inspiring Coventry's petition to Parliament for the abolition of slavery. His life, one hundred and fifty years after his death, is described as 'unbelievable, but true.' Born in New York in 1807, Aldridge moved to England aged eighteen after he was beaten in racist attacks and the theatre he performed at was burned down. He began his career in London, famously playing Othello in Covent Garden, where he was 'extremely well received' according to a critic from The Times. Gradually he developed into other roles and, with the use of make-up, went on to play Richard III, Shylock, Iago, King Lear and Macbeth. He toured the English provinces extensively and stayed in Coventry for a few months, during which time he gave a number of speeches on the evils of slavery. When he left, people inspired by his speeches went to the county hall and petitioned for its abolition. Professor Tony Howard, from the University of Warwick, has been campaigning with the Belgrade Theatre for Aldridge's time in Coventry to be commemorated. He said that Aldridge 'changed the climate of thinking' in Coventry, where there had previously been little interest in the abolitionist movement. In an open letter to the people of Coventry, Aldridge wrote: 'Being a foreigner and a stranger are universal passports to British sympathy.' The plaque will be unveiled by Lord Mayor Councillor Tony Skipper in the Upper Precinct in the city centre. Professor Howard said 'nobody talks about Ira Aldridge's moment in Coventry' and people are 'often surprised' when they hear the story. 'It's unbelievable but it's true,' he said. He hopes that by placing the plaque at eye-level, more people will be engaged with the remarkable story. He said: 'What the plaque is saying is that this man achieved things that are hard for black people to achieve today.' Adrian Lester MBE played Ira Aldridge in Red Velvet, a stage play about the actor's life. He said: 'This is a fitting and just tribute to an incredible talent. For Ira to have achieved so much at a time when society thought so little, is a testament to his tenacity and hard work.'
Former EastEnders actor Joseph Shade has admitted sexual offences against three teenage girls. The youth worker, from Cliff Road in Sheringham, played Peter Beale in the BBC soap from 1998 until 2004. Shade admitted five counts of causing or inciting a child under eighteen to engage in sexual activity while in a position of trust and one count of sexual activity with a child. He was released on bail and will be sentenced at a later date.
A concert in Arizona by the US rock and/or roll band Matchbox Twenty was delayed by more than an hour on Thursday, reportedly by a swarm of bees. Fans were kept outside the open-air venue at Tucson's Casino Del Sol resort whilst exterminators dealt with the unwelcome stage visitors. Lead singer Rob Thomas posted a picture of a beekeeper at the venue with the message: 'Can't make this up!' He later thanked fans 'for waiting around,' adding he was 'so glad we got the show to happen!'
The Daily Torygraph published an incomplete article online on Wednesday announcing the death of the Duke of Edinburgh as the still-very-much-alive prince prepared for his final day of public engagements. The full-length report, since taken down, appeared on the newspaper's website before Prince Philip, the longest-serving consort in British history, was due to carry out his twenty two thousand two hundred and nineteenth - and final - solo engagement. The piece read: 'The Duke of Edinburgh, the longest-serving consort to a monarch in British history, has died at the age of XX, Buckingham Palace has announced. Prince Philip, whom the Queen described as her "strength and stay" during her record-breaking reign, passed away XXXXXXX. FILL IN DETAILS. He will be given a royal ceremonial funeral in line with his wishes, which is expected to take place in seven days' time.' A note at the top of the article read: 'This file needs to be a living file – and will serve Apple News as well as be the main news story. Please stick to the format below.' A spokesman for the Torygraph said: 'We sincerely apologise for the mistake that was made this morning, which was of course rectified immediately. We will be reviewing our publishing processes as a matter of urgency.' It is not the first time that a newspaper has prematurely announced Prince Philip's death. The Sun made a similar error in May when the duke announced his retirement from public engagements. The tabloid published an article, which again was swiftly removed, titled: Prince Philip dead at ninety five, how did the Duke of Edinburgh die, etc etc.
President and hairdo Donald Trump's former press secretary, Sean Spicer, was given advance notice while still in the White House about a sensational-but-later-discredited FOX News story on the murder of the Democratic National Committee aide Seth Rich according to the Gruniad Morning Star. Spicer, who quit the White House earlier this month, confirmed to National Public Radio's David Folkenflik that, in April, he met Rod Wheeler, a longtime FOX News contributor and the Republican donor Ed Butowsky and that they 'informed' him about an investigation they were conducting into Rich's death. A month later, FOX News posted the online story which claimed, quoting Wheeler, that Rich had been 'identified' by the FBI as the alleged 'source' of e-mails hacked from the DNC that were published by WikiLeaks. The article, billed by FOX & Friends as a 'bombshell,' was instantly heralded by the president's supporters as 'proof' debunking Russia's role in the DNC hack and suspicions that Trump associates 'colluded' with The Kremlin to distort the 2016 election. Asked about the story in a press gaggle on the day of its publication, 16 May, Spicer claimed that he was 'not aware' of it. But, he was. On 23 May, FOX News was, embarrassingly, forced to retract the story, saying that it was 'not subjected to the high degree of editorial scrutiny we require for all our reporting.' Now, Wheeler has lodged a lawsuit against the news channel, in which he alleges that the article was 'fabricated' in a 'conscious effort' to 'deflect public attention away from the Russian inquiry' and on to Rich 'and other Democratic individuals.' He also claims that, in addition to Spicer, Trump himself was given advance viewing of the FOX News article and that the president had 'enthusiastically pushed' for its publication. The complaint, lodged with a federal court in New York, accuses FOX News and reporter Malia Zimmerman of inserting two fabricated 'quotes' from Wheeler into the copy without his permission. The alleged 'quotes' have Wheeler allegedly saying that he had 'discovered some degree of e-mail exchange' between Rich and WikiLeaks and that the murder inquiry into Rich's death had been 'blocked' by 'someone' within the DNC or Hillary Clinton's campaign team. 'Mister Wheeler – who was the only named 'source' quoted in the article – did not make these statements,' the lawsuit alleges. The complaint goes on to make the potentially even more incendiary claim that Trump himself was given 'a pre-publication look' at the FOX News article and that the president 'pressed hard' for its publication. Citing mobile phone texts from Butowsky, the complaint says that 'incredibly, the president reviewed an article written by a FOX News journalist prior to its publication.' The complaint quotes a text, allegedly from Butowsky to Wheeler, stating: 'Not to add any more pressure but the president just read the article. He wants the article out immediately.' Seth Rich was shot and killed on 10 July 2016, as he was walking back to his apartment in Washington DC. The police investigation found that he was a victim of an armed robbery but his death spawned virulent right-wing conspiracy theories, egged on by Julian Assange and WikiLeaks, who fanned the flames by offering a twenty thousand dollar reward for information on Rich's murder. Bukowsky, a wealthy Texan investor, approached Rich's parents and offered to fund an investigation into the shooting, later contracting Wheeler to carry out the work. The lawsuit alleges that the motivation behind the article was to 'establish that Seth Rich provided WikiLeaks with the DNC e-mails to shift the blame from Russia and help put to bed speculation that President Trump colluded with Russia in an attempt to influence the outcome of the presidential election.' The DNC responded furiously to the allegations made in the lawsuit. Xochitl Hinojosa, the DNC's communications director, said that if they were true it was 'beyond vile that the White House - and possibly even Trump himself – would use the murder of a young man to distract the public's attention from their chaotic administration and Trump's ties to Russia. The Rich family has begged those responsible for these conspiracies to stop.' On Tuesday the current White House press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, said: 'The president had no knowledge of the story and it's completely untrue that he and the White House were involved.' Butowsky told NPR that his comments about the president's involvement were 'a joke.' Albeit, not a particularly funny one. In his remarks to the radio broadcaster, Spicer said that he was 'unaware' of any contact between Butowsky and Trump. He said that his own meeting with Butowsky and Wheeler 'had nothing to do with advancing the president's domestic agenda - and there was no agenda. They were just informing me of the [Fox] story.' The lawsuit tells a somewhat different narrative. It alleges that Spicer asked the two men to keep him 'informed' about their investigation into Rich's murder and that Butowsky duly obliged. Spicer's admission that he did meet with the duo ahead of publication comes at an uncomfortable time for the White House and for Trump who is already facing scrutiny from the special counsel in the Russia investigation, Robert Mueller, over possible obstruction of justice. On Monday, the Washington Post reported that Trump himself dictated a misleading press statement signed by his son Donald Junior relating to the younger Trump's now notorious Trump Tower meeting with a Russian lawyer with ties to the Kremlin in June 2016. Jay Wallace, a senior FOX News executive, said in a statement that the 'accusation that FoxNews.com published Malia Zimmerman's story to help detract from coverage of the Russia collusion issue is completely erroneous. The retraction of this story is still being investigated internally and we have no evidence that Rod Wheeler was misquoted by Zimmerman.' Allegations that FOX News fabricated an article in order to provide Trump with political cover also comes at an awkward time for the broadcaster. Billionaire tyrant Rupert Murdoch's Twenty-First Century FOX, the owner of FOX News, is currently awaiting the decision of the British government over its takeover bid for Sky, based in part on whether or not the company is 'fit and proper' to own the British broadcasting giant. Or, indeed, fit and proper to run a piss-up in a brewery.
FOX News, meanwhile, has suspended one of its presenters after he was accused of 'sending lewd photographs to three female co-workers.' Eric Bolling, a long-time host at the network, allegedly sent the messages 'on separate occasions several years ago.' His lawyer described the claims as 'untrue and terribly unfair.' FOX News said an investigation was under way. It is the third high-profile harassment case to hit the conservative cable news outlet recently. Citing fourteen unnamed alleged 'sources,' The Huffington Post reports that Bolling sent 'unsolicited photos' of 'male genitalia' by text message to 'at least' two colleagues at FOX Business and one at FOX News. Whose male genitalia the photos were of, they don't say. 'Eric Bolling has been suspended pending the results of an investigation, which is currently underway,' a FOX News spokesperson said. Bolling's lawyer, Michael Bowe, told Reuters news agency: 'The anonymous, uncorroborated claims are untrue and terribly unfair. We intend to fully cooperate with the investigation so that it can be concluded and Eric can return to work as quickly as possible.'
Extreme weather could kill up to one hundred and fifty thousand people yearly in Europe by 2100 if nothing is done to curb the effects of climate change, scientists claim. The number is fifty times more deaths than reported now, the study in The Lancet Planetary Health Journal said. Heatwaves would cause ninety nine per cent of all weather-related deaths, it added, with Southern Europe being the worst affected. So, for those of us in Northern Europe, it's less of a problem. Okay, that's good to know. ''Experts said that the findings were 'worrying' - no shit? - but some warned that the projections 'could' be overestimated. Fascinatingly 'un-expert-like' word, 'could' is it not? If nothing is done to cut greenhouse gas emissions and to improve policies to reduce the impact against extreme weather events, the study by the European Commission's Joint Research Centre says deaths caused by extreme weather could rise from three thousand a year between 1981 and 2010 to one hundred and fifty two thousand between 2071 and 2100; two in three people in Europe will be affected by disasters by 2100, against a rate of one-in-twenty at the start of the century; there will be 'a substantial rise' in deaths from coastal flooding, from six victims a year at the start of the century to two hundred and thirty three a year by the end of it. And, the seventh trumpet shall sound and the Whore of Babylon appear and there shall be a great wailing and gnashing of teeth as The Bottomless Pit opens. But, on the other hand, everybody will get a nice sun-tan so you know, swings and roundabouts. The research analysed the effects of 'the seven most dangerous types' of weather-related events - heatwaves, cold snaps, wildfires, droughts, river and coastal floods and windstorms - in the twenty eight EU countries as well as Switzerland, Norway and Iceland. The team looked at disaster records from 1981 to 2010 to estimate population vulnerability and combined this information with predictions of how climate change might progress and how populations might increase and migrate. They assumed a rate of greenhouse gas emissions that would lead to average global warming of three degrees Celsius by the end of the century from levels in 1990, a pessimistic forecast well above targets set by the Paris Agreement on tackling climate change. 'Climate change is one of the biggest global threats to human health of the 21st century and its peril to society will be increasingly connected to weather-driven hazards,' said Giovanni Forzieri, one of the authors of the study. 'Unless global warming is curbed as a matter of urgency and appropriate measures are taken, about three hundred and fifty million Europeans could be exposed to harmful climate extremes on an annual basis by the end of the century.' So, we're all fucked, basically. Nice to know. On Friday, the United States issued its first written notification to the UN of its intention to withdraw from the 2015 Paris climate agreement. US President - and hairdo - Donald Trump drew international condemnation in June when he first announced his decision, saying the deal would cost millions of American jobs. The Paris Agreement saw nearly two hundred countries agree to keep warming 'well below' the level of two degrees above pre-industrial times and 'endeavour to limit' them even more. 'Experts' from South Korea's Seoul National University, however, warned that the study's results 'could' be overestimated. Again, 'could' isn't really good enough if you're going to claim expertise on the matter, guys. 'People are known to adapt and become less vulnerable than previously to extreme weather conditions because of advances in medical technology, air conditioning and thermal insulation in houses,' they wrote in a comment piece published in the same journal. Paul Wilkinson, a professor at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, who was not involved in the study, said that the findings were 'yet another reminder of the exposures to extreme weather and possible human impacts that might occur if emissions of greenhouse gases continue unabated. It adds further weight to the powerful argument for accelerating mitigation actions to protect population health.'
After three and a half months of Saturdays without football, the English Football League finally exploded back into life this weekend with a shitload of drama, excitement and incident across the three divisions. Leo Bonatini scored on his Championship debut as big-spending Wolverhampton Wanderings beat recently-relegated Middlesbrough Smog Monsters at Molineux. The Brazilian striker, signed on a season-long loan from Saudi Arabian club Al Hilal, capitalised on a defensive mistake from The Smoggies' Daniel Ayala to score the only goal after thirty three minutes. Bobby Reid netted a brace and Famara Diedhiou scored on his first appearance as Bristol City beat Barnsley three-one at Ashton Gate. Reid put the hosts ahead after sixteen minutes before setting up Senegalese striker Diedhiou, a club-record five million knicker signing from Angers, who headed home at the back post. Midfielder Reid then added his second of the day from close range on the half-hour as The Robins ran riot in the first period. Ryan Hedges pulled a goal back for The Tykes in added time but it was not enough to deny City boss Lee Johnson victory against his former club. Billy Sharp picked up where he left off last season by scoring the only goal in Sheffield United's win over Brentford at Bramall Lane. The striker scored thirty goals in League One last term and took just thirty nine minutes to open his account for the new campaign, The Blades' first in the second tier for six years. Joe Garner also got off to the perfect start to the season by scoring on his Ipswich debut in the victory at home against Hapless Harry Redknapp's Birmingham. The former Glasgow Rangers striker completed a counter-attack five minutes after half-time to seal three points for The Tractor Boys at Portman Road. Conor Washington fared even better as he scored twice in Queens Park Stranger's two-nil win over ten-man Reading at Loftus Road. The ex-Peterborough forward headed the hosts into the lead on twenty two minutes and converted a penalty on the hour mark after Royals defender Tiago Ilori was sent off. Daniel Johnson's second-half penalty helped Preston Both Ends to victory at home to Sheffield Wednesday while Kenneth Zohore netted a late winner in Cardiff's one-nil triumph at Burton Albinos. Elsewhere, Poor Bloody Fulham Haven't Got A Chance were the beneficiaries of a twenty fifth-minute Russell Martin own goal but Nelson Oliveira stepped off the bench to earn a one-all draw for Norwich at Craven Cottage. Big spending Aston Villains - and their horrible sour-faced support - drew one-one with relegated Hull in the late game on Saturday, while on Friday night Nottingham Forest beat Millwall one-nil and The Mackem Filth began life in The Championship with a one-all draw with Derby County. Jarrod Bowen scored his first Hull goal as The Tigers came from behind to draw at Villa Park, where The Villains gave a debut to former England and Moscow Chelski FC captain John Terry. The Black Cats finished extremely bottom of The Premier League last season to end a ten-year stay in the top flight and fell behind at The Stadium of Plight when Bradley Johnson fired home for Derby. Summer signing Lewis Grabban equalised from the penalty spot for Blunderland just before half-time after Jacob Butterfield handled. Both sides could have won it, with Grabban hitting the post from eighteen yards while Derby's Chris Martin fired over from close range. Substitute David Nugent also had a late chance to earn The Rams all three points but could not connect cleanly with a volley.
Title-favourites Blackburn Vindaloos were beaten on the opening day of the League One season, as Tony Mowbray's side suffered a two-one defeat at Southend. Having been relegated from The Championship last term, The Vindaloos brought in Bradley Dack, Peter Whittingham and Richard Smallwood to Ewood Park over the summer. All three were handed debuts at Roots Hall, but first-half efforts from Ryan Leonard and Michael Kightly put The Shrimpers in control. Charlie Mulgrew pulled one back with a free-kick eight minutes after half-time but the hosts held on. Of the other sides relegated to the third tier last term, Rotherham lost two-nil at Fleetwood and Wigan Not Very Athletic won one-nil at the MK Dons. Conor McAleny netted either side of the interval as Fleetwood made a winning start, while Nick Powell earned Wigan all three points in their first game under Paul Cook in a contest which saw both sides reduced to ten men. Last season's League Two champions, Portsmouth, secured a two-nil victory over Rochdale in their first match under new owner Michael Eisner. The former Disney executive was welcomed onto the pitch before kick-off after his Tornante Group bought out the Pompey Supporters' Trust earlier in the week. Plymouth endured a tough start to life in the third tier with a two-one defeat at Peterborough, with Gary Sawyer putting the ball into his own net after only four minutes and Junior Morias adding a second shortly after half-time. Gregg Wylde scored Plymouth's consolation. Doncaster, the third of the sides automatically promoted, drew nil-nil with Gillingham at the Keepmoat Stadium. Last season's beaten play-off finalists Bradford City beat newly-promoted Blackpool two-one, Charlton overcame Bristol Rovers by a single goal and Scunthorpe drew against AFC Wimbledon. The dubious honour for the 2017-18 season's first sending off went to Lee Novak. The Charlton forward walked after just six minutes for a bad tackle on Stuart Sinclair. Jermaine Beckford missed a third-minute penalty but then headed home in first-half stoppage time to hand Bury a one-nil win over Walsall, while Oxford were two goal winners at Oldham and Shrewsbury beat Northampton thanks to Lenell John-Lewis' stoppage-time effort.
     James Collins fired a hat-trick on his debut as Luton Town thrashed League Two rivals Yeovil eight-two at Kenilworth Road. Otis Khan's free-kick gave Yeovil an early lead, but Luton hit back through Olly Lee, Collins and Alan McCormack before Isaac Vassell struck twice in as many minutes to put his side five-one ahead at half-time. Marek Stech then saved Khan's penalty and Collins helped himself to two more after the break before Francois Zoko headed Yeovil's second. Elliott Lee added Luton's eighth in injury time. It was the first time since 1955 that The Hatters had scored eight in a Football League game and the first time since 1988 they had been involved in a game that produced ten or more goals. As for the hapless Glovers, this equals the margin of their heaviest league defeat, a painful six-nil loss to Stevenage in 2012. Of all the towns and cities to have hosted a Football League team, Nailsworth in Gloucestershire is one of the smallest with a population of just under six thousand. The town is the home of Forest Green Rovers, promoted to the EFL for the first time in their history last season. Not bad, given that they only joined The Conference in 1998. Forest Green were denied victory in their first ever Football League fixture after letting slip a two-goal lead to draw two-two at home against Barnet. The National League play-off winners led at half-time thanks to Christian Doidge's double, but Barnet hit back in the second half through Jean-Louis Akpa Akpro and Jamal Campbell-Ryce before having Jack Taylor sent off in the closing stages. Lincoln marked their first Football League game in six years with a two-two draw at Wycombe. Wanderers scored twice in three minutes shortly before half-time through Luke O'Nien and Joe Jacobson after Matt Green had given Lincoln the lead, but Josh Ginnelly fired The Imps level soon after the restart. Accrington Stanley (who are they?) made a winning start by beating Colchester three one at home. Kayden Jackson and Billy Kee gave Accrington a two goal half-time lead and Omar Beckles added a third before Sammie Szmodics scored a late consolation. Swindon won their first game following relegation from league One with a two-one victory at Carlisle. Luke Norris and Paul Mullin headers either side of the break gave Swindon a two-nil lead before Luke Joyce pulled one back for the Cumbrians. Grimsby won three-one at Chesterfield, where both sides ended the game with ten men. Nathan Clarke and Sam Jones gave Grimsby a two-goal lead at half-time and after Kristian Dennis had pulled one back for Chesterfield, Ben Davies struck again for The Mariners from the penalty spot after Ian Evatt was sent off. Grimsby's Zak Mills received a second yellow card three minutes later. Relegation to the bottom tier of English football's professional league structure last season for the first time since 1959 was a nadir for Coventry City. Sometimes, however, you need to take a step back to take two steps forward and that seems to be the mantra for Mark Robins' side. Jodi Jones' hat-trick secured The Sky Blues a three-nil home win against Notts County. Jones opened the scoring after kick-off had been delayed ten minutes due to thunder and lightning and very, very frightening torrential rain at The Ricoh Arena and scored twice more in the closing stages in front of a - presumably, quite wet - ten thousand plus crowd. Port Vale ran out comfortable three-one winners at Harry Kewell's Crawley. Michael Tonge's early free-kick and Antony Kay's header put Vale in control and although Enzio Boldewijn reduced the arrears, Dan Turner headed the visitors' third. Promotion favourites Mansfield twice came from behind to earn a two-two draw at Crewe. Chris Porter gave Crewe the lead on both occasions, but his strikes were cancelled out by Danny Rose and then David Mirfin. Reuben Reid's early goal secured Exeter a home win against Cambridge. Reid's third-minute penalty, after Jake Carroll had handled, was saved by Cambridge goalkeeper David Forde, but the Exeter striker still scored League Two's opening goal of the season two minutes later. Garry Thompson's stoppage-time effort clinched Morecambe a two-one home win against Cheltenham. Mohamed Eisa fired Cheltenham in front, but Thompson equalised early in the second period and fired the winner in the first minute of time added on. Shawn McCloskey struck in stoppage time to earn Newport a three-three draw at Stevenage. Stevenage led through Tom Pett and although Frank Nouble levelled, Dale Gorman converted a penalty for the home side, after Scot Bennett's foul on Luke Wilkinson, and Danny Newton added a third. But Mickey Demetriou smashed home Newport's second and McCloskey levelled in the fourth minute of time added on.
Yeovil Town's players and staff have agreed to refund the two hundred and fifty eight fans who travelled to their eight-two opening day defeat at Luton. Skipper James Bailey told the club website: 'We know we let ourselves and the fans down. As a group, we want to apologise and give fans their money back.' Manager Darren Way added: 'Saturday was never going to be easy but the manner of the defeat was totally unacceptable and I apologise to the supporters and take full responsibility for that. Paying supporters their money back is a collective decision - we're not happy with just apologising, but at the same time know our best apology will come on the pitch in the coming weeks.' The League Two side will release details of how fans can claim their refund next week. Yeovil's players are not the first to reimburse travelling fans after an away day nightmare. Blunderland's players refunded the two thousand five hundred Mackem supporters who saw their side fall to a humiliating eight-nil defeat at Southampton in October 2015. Then Blunderland manager, Gus Poyet, labelled the woeful display as his 'most embarrassing' moment in football. In January 2016 Charlton Not Very Athletic's players did the same for the one hundred and sixty six fans who made the trip to see their side go down five-nil at Huddersfield, in a performance that club captain Johnnie Jackson called 'disgraceful.' Earlier this year, Bristol City's players refunded the three hundred and twelve fans who made the three hundred and eighty six-mile round trip to Preston Both Ends to see the Robins lose five-nil.

Yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (though unsellable) Newcastle concluded their pre-season programme with a comfortable two-nil victory over the Italian side Hellas Verona at St James' Park on a damp Sunday afternoon. Early goals from Ayoze Perez and Christian Atsu won the game and - as with last week's victory over VfL Wolfsburg - there were some encouraging performances as Rafa Benitez's side prepare for the visit of Stottingtot Hotshots in less than a week. Matt Ritchie hit the post with a free-kick in the second half and Rolando Aarons should have got a third with a header six yards from goal while Rob Elliot (and substitute Karl Darlow) had very quiet afternoons in the Newcastle goal. Verona's keeper, Marco Silvestre, also denied a succession of chances for Isaac Hayden, Aarons, Ritchie and Siem De Jong late in the game. United wore their all black third kit and a healthy crowd of almost twenty four thousand - over five thousand more than the home friendly against Vitesse Arnhem last season - saw the home side dominate the game. Perez was on target in the first attack of the game when Jonjo Shelvey played in new signing Javier Manquillo down the right and Perez tucked away his neat cross on the volley at the near post. Atsu got his goal eight minutes later when Shelvey's long ball forward to Aleksandar Mitrovic deflected into the path of Atsu and he smashed the ball between goalkeeper and post at the Leazes End. Dwight Gayle was missing from the United squad but Rafa the Gaffer expects last season's top scorer to be fit for the Premier League opener next Sunday.
Burnley's pre-season friendly at home to German club Hannover was abandoned on police advice after crowd trouble and 'a geet rive-on, with kids gettin' sparked and aal sorts.' Apparently. The bother broke out in the first half in the Hannover fans' section at Turf Moor on Saturday. Burnley, who had been leading one-nil after a header from Ben Mee, announced at half-time that the game had been abandoned. 'We went on police advice. We are still piecing together the details,' said Burnley manager Sean Dyche. Seats were ripped up and thrown after visiting supporters surged towards the home fans in the Cricket Field Stand around five minutes before the end of the first half. Home supporters were moved from the stand as police moved in with truncheons drawn. And, there was a great wailing and kicking of teeth. The players did not appear for the start of the second half with the decision taken to abandon the match. Chief Superintendent Chris Bithell, of Lancashire Police, said that the decision was taken 'following consultation between the police match commander, the referee and Burnley FC's grounds safety officer.' He added: 'This follows violent behaviour by a group of travelling Hannover fans, who attempted to attack fans in the home stands, as well as police officers and stewards.' Dyche added: 'The referee came to see me and said he wanted us in the room just to get a feel for our general thoughts. I made it clear. It comes down to safety. The police decided to call it off and we support that. We understand that. It's important what the team do, but it's not as important as people coming to a football match. You want safety. You don't want people to get hurt. It's a shame what has happened but it's done, as simple as that. In the bigger picture I think the lads are fit and well. I think they've shown some good signs in pre-season and I think there's still more to come.' On Saturday night, Hannover released a statement condemning the behaviour of their fans. 'Our attitude is clear: Hannover Ninety Six condemns the incidents in the stadium and dissociates itself vehemently from any kind of violence,' the club said.
An influential supporters' group says there is a 'worrying disconnect between clubs and fans' and most feel ignored on issues such as ticket prices. The Football Supporters' Federation has made the claim based on its National Fans' Survey, an online questionnaire which attracted almost eight and a half thousand responses. 'Supporters want their clubs to listen,' said FSF chair Malcolm Clarke. But, they don't. Not that they ever have, of course, but these days whinging about it is 'news', apparently. Over thirty million fans attended Premier League and EFL games last season. The EFL recorded its highest cumulative attendances for almost sixty years, with more than eighteen million fans watching matches. The Premier League has questioned how representative the survey is, saying that the findings are 'at odds' with its own fan surveys. Well, they would, wouldn't they? The EFL pointed out its own regulations call for clubs to meet fan representatives 'at least' twice a season, while adding its own fan survey this summer had attracted more than twenty two thousand responses so far. Of those responding to the FSF survey, sixty eight per cent said they felt their club does not care about their views and the same number believed that Premier League clubs are 'too focused' on 'growing a global brand.' Which, they are but we're never going to put that genie back in the bottle so, why bother to complain about it? This blogger has already given his own opinion - at length - about the way in which sick and wicked greed has destroyed The People's Game.
Moeen Ali claimed five wickets as England completed a one hundred and seventy seven-run win over South Africa in the fourth test at Old Trafford to seal a three-one series win. The Proteas, chasing an unlikely three hundred and eighty to win, were bowled out for two hundred and two, with James Anderson also picking up three for sixteen. England were held up by Hashim Amla, who made eighty three, but after he was dismissed they lost their last seven wickets for thirty nine runs. It is England's first home test series win against South Africa since 1998. It also ends a run of three series without a win and gives Joe Root success in his first as captain. England climbed to third in the International Cricket Council's test rankings, above Australia, whom they meet in defence of The Ashes this winter. Their next assignment is a three-test series against the West Indies, which begins with the first day-night match in this country at Edgbaston on next week. Moeen had blasted a thrilling sixty seven on the third evening and was left unbeaten on seventy five as England lost their final two wickets to be bowled out in their second innings for two hundred and forty three. After Anderson, Stuart Broad and Toby Roland-Jones took a wicket apiece, Moeen was asked to wheel away with his off-spin, only to be thwarted by the stubborn Amla. But, when he switched ends, he trapped Amla leg before wicket and worked through the rest of the South Africa line-up. Quinton de Kock played a loose drive to slash to gully and Theinus de Bruyn tamely edged to slip. Moeen ended the third Test at The Oval with a hat-trick and closed this match with two wickets in two balls - Morne Morkel holed out to Joe Root at mid-off and Duanne Olivier edged to Ben Stokes at slip. Moeen is the first man to take twenty five wickets and score more than two hundred and fifty runs in a four-match test series and the first Englishman to perform such a feat over-all since Ian Botham. Former captain Amla has endured a mixed series, averaging thirty five before this knock, but the thirty four-year-old gave a reminder of his excellence in what his likely to be his last test innings in this country. On an increasingly uneven surface and faced with some testing England new-ball bowling, South Africa found themselves forty for three, with Amla needing nineteen balls to get off the mark. But, after lunch, the right-hander played classy front and back-foot drives off the seamers, as well as reverse-sweeping Moeen and hitting the spinner for a straight six. He added one hundred and twenty three with South Africa's skipper, Faf du Plessis, who made a gritty sixty one. While they were together, the prospect of the game reaching a fifth day seemed entirely possible. But, when Amla tried to work Moeen to the leg side, he was hit in front of the stumps. The initial appeal reprieved him, but the review sealed his fate and the rest followed quickly. Though England have ultimately won this series - and by a comfortable margin - they are still no closer to solving the problems which existed beforehand. Keaton Jennings has averaged only fifteen in the series and looks set to be replaced as Alistair Cook's opening partner, while Tom Westley and Dawid Malan - given opportunities at three and five respectively - have not yet proven themselves at test level. In a series where all four matches were won by huge margins, England triumphed in the three tests in which they won the toss and batted first, depending hugely on the runs of their dependable middle order - Moeen, Root, Stokes and Jonny Bairstow. But they looked vulnerable when batting second, in the second test at Trent Bridge. However, they have had the bonus of the emergence of Roland-Jones, in the squad in place of the injured Chris Woakes. The Middlesex pace bowler has taken ten wickets in two matches and looks a strong candidate for The Ashes squad.
And now, dear blog reader ...
A Texas man who found an armadillo in his yard early on Thursday morning opened fire on the animal only to have the bullet ricochet back and hit him in the face. Reuters reports the man went outside around 3am local time and fired his gun. 'His wife was in the house,' Cass County Sheriff Larry Rowe said. 'He went outside and took his revolver and shot three times at the armadillo.' The mammal's shell deflected the bullets and the man subsequently had to be airlifted to a nearby hospital where his jaw was wired shut. The sheriff said that the police department had not recovered the animal, so its status is currently unknown.
A licensed pharmacist in Niagara Falls is facing charges after police say he compelled a woman to remove all her clothes before he would fill her prescription. Niagara Falls Police and the DEA arrested eighty one-year-old Robert Kenzia for coercion on Tuesday morning. Police say Kenzia, a licensed pharmacist at McLeod's Pharmacy, threatened the customer to notify other pharmacies not to fill her prescriptions if she did not comply with his naughty demands. The Drug Enforcement Administration is now conducting a full audit of the pharmacy to see if other illegal activity have occurred. Longtime friends of Kenzia are reportedly 'in disbelief' over this malarkey. 'When I saw it, I laughed. It's not him,' claimed Diane Curtis a friend of Kenzia. 'I'm shocked. Truly shocked.' That was the shocked and stunned Diane Curits there, dear blog reader. Niagara Falls Police say that it is suspected there may be other victims who have yet to come forward.
A Russian chap reportedly ripped off his own genitals this week after his jeans got caught on a spike as he climbed over a park fence. The unnamed twenty seven-year-old was drunk when he attempted to leap over the metal railing in Kuznetsk. Mind you, this is according to the Metro so, it's probably a load of old crap. A spike at the top of the barrier pierced through his trousers and left him dangling by his manhood. He eventually managed to free himself and staggered to a local hospital bleeding profusely. The man's torn-off member - and part of his jeans - remained attached to the railing, Metro claim.
Police in Howell Township, New Jersey, are investigating after a man was allegedly remove from a local cinema last week for allegedly 'touching himself' whilst watching The Emoji Movie. Though, to be fair, that sort of thing is probably the only way one will get any enjoyment from paying to see The Emoji Movie which looks, from the trailer, to be one of the worst films ever made. By anyone. Bar none. The suspect was seen allegedly with his hands down his open pants by a mother with her children during a showing of the film, police told The Hollywood Reporter. Why the woman was looking at him and not the screen, we can only speculate, dear blog reader. The suspect, who was sitting in the back row, was kicked out of the theatre by staff after the mother went to complain to the manager. Police were called after the man had already left the area. A surveillance photo of the suspect was released by authorities. And, chances are by the time you read this, dear blog reader, the chap will have been, you know, pinched by the bobbies.
A British punk rock and/or roll singer claims that he was deported from the US because he once impersonated Donald Trump on stage. Which, frankly, sounds a bit unlikely otherwise Alec Baldwin would, currently, be looking for a new country to live in. Peter Bywaters, of Peter & The Test Tube Babies, claims that he was detained when he flew into the US for a festival. He said that he was 'interrogated for six hours' by border control staff and shown photos of himself dressed as Donald Trump on tour in Germany last year. However, US Customs and Border Protection officials say that he was deported for having the wrong visa. In a statement to BBC's Newsbeat, spokesman Jaime Ruiz said: 'The claim that he was refused entry to the United States because he mocked the president of the United States, that is absolutely not true. The reason he was denied entry was because he came with the wrong visa.' After being questioned by customs and border staff in San Francisco, Bywaters claimed that he had his phone and passport confiscated, had a DNA swab taken, was photographed and had to make an official statement before being escorted to a plane bound for London. He told the website Team Rock: 'I had only been there thirty seconds when the border control guard swung his screen round and said, "Is this you?" There in full view was a video from last year's German tour with me dressed as Donald Trump smoking a fake joint. From there it all went downhill. Six hours later I was forcibly escorted to my seat on the plane.' He claims that he was refused alcohol on the eleven-hour United Airlines flight back to the UK and only had his mobile and passport returned once the plane had landed. 'I expect to still be the singer of Peter & The Test Tube Babies by the end of the year,' he said. 'Will Trump still be president by the end of the summer? A US tour or festival will never, ever happen again.' The rest of Peter & The Test Tube Babies performed at the Punk Invasion Festival in Orange County, California, with the help of several guest singers on Saturday - including Joey Bondage from Narcoleptic Youth, Ron Conflict from Lower Class Brats, Gabe Zander from Oi! Scouts and Mike Blank from Blank Seventy Seven. Peter & The Test Tube Babies, who formed in 1978 in East Sussex, release their new CD in September. And, obviously, this story in no way whatsoever is a - rather clever - publicity stunt to help promote that new CD. Oh no. Very hot water.
A woman who encouraged her suicidal boyfriend to kill himself in dozens of text messages and told him to 'get back in' a truck filled with toxic gas has been jailed for fifteen months for involuntary manslaughter. Michelle Carter, now aged twenty, was convicted in June by a judge who said her final instruction to Conrad Roy III caused his death. Carter was seventeen when eighteen-year-old Roy was found dead of carbon monoxide poisoning in July 2014. Juvenile Court Judge Lawrence Moniz gave Carter a two-and-a-half-year jail sentence but said that she had to serve only fifteen months. He also sentenced her to five years probation. He granted a defence motion that would keep Carter out of jail for the moment until her appeals in Massachusetts courts are exhausted. The judge called the case, which has garnered international attention, 'a tragedy for two families.' Carter's lawyer, Joseph Cataldo, had begged the judge to spare his client jail time and, instead, give her five years probation and require her to receive mental health counselling. He claimed that Carter was 'struggling' with mental health issues of her own - bulimia, anorexia and depression - during the time she urged Roy to kill himself. 'Miss Carter will have to live with the consequences of this for the rest of her life,' Cataldo said. 'This was a horrible circumstance that she completely regrets.' Prosecutor Maryclare Flynn called probation 'not reasonable punishment' for Carter's role in Roy's death. Prosecutors asked the judge to send Carter to the State Pen for seven to twelve years. In dozens of text messages, Carter had urged Roy to follow through on his talk of taking his own life. 'The time is right and you are ready. Just do it babe,' Carter wrote in a text on the very day that he killed himself. 'You can't think about it. You just have to do it. You said you were gonna [sic] do it. Like I don't get why you aren't,' Carter wrote in another text. Cataldo argued that Roy was 'determined' to kill himself and nothing Carter did could have changed that. He suggested that Carter 'initially' tried to talk Roy out of suicide and urged him to get professional help but, eventually, went along with his plan. Cataldo also argued that Carter's words amounted to 'free speech' protected by the First Amendment. In convicting Carter, the judge focused his ruling on Carter telling Roy to 'get back in' after he had climbed out of his truck as it was filling with carbon monoxide and told her he was afraid. The judge said that those words constituted 'wanton and reckless conduct' under the manslaughter statute.
The UK has extradited a self-styled Kenyan pastor, who claimed he created miraculous pregnancies, to Kenya to face child-trafficking charges. Gilbert Deya's extradition came after he failed in his decade-long legal battle to remain in the UK. He denied charges of stealing five children between 1999 and 2004 when he appeared in court in Nairobi. Concerns were first raised about the conduct of Deya, who ran a church in London, in a BBC investigation in 2004. Infertile or post-menopausal women who attended the Gilbert Deya Ministries church in Peckham, were told they could have 'miracle' babies. But the babies were always 'delivered' in backstreet clinics in Nairobi. Deya later moved to Scotland, and was arrested in Edinburgh in 2006 under an international arrest warrant issued by Kenya. His Gilbert Deya Ministries is currently being investigated by the UK Charity Commission for alleged mismanagement. 'Our statutory inquiry into Gilbert Deya Ministries is ongoing. We are considering the implication of Gilbert Deya's extradition on our investigation,' the commission said in a statement. When the BBC asked Deya during its 2014 investigation how he explained the births of children with DNA different to that of their alleged parents, the sixty five-year-old Deya said: 'The miracle babies which are happening in our ministry are beyond human imagination. It is not something I can say I can explain because they are of God and things of God cannot be explained by a human being.' Yeah. This blogger wouldn't rely on the 'act of God' defence in a court of law, mate. I've tried it and it never works. Kenya's police spokesman, Charles Owino, told the BBC that Deya had arrived in Nairobi aboard a Kenya Airways flight following his extradition. Deya had opposed his extradition, saying that he feared being tortured and sentenced to death. In 2007, his wife, Mary, was sentenced to two years in prison in Kenya after being convicted of stealing a baby. In 2011, she was sentenced to three years in jail after being convicted of stealing another child. Desperate women, some past the menopause and others who were infertile, were convinced that being prayed for by Deya and travelling to Kenya would result in a child. Once there, they were convinced by Mrs Deya and others that they were experiencing labour and taken to illegal clinics where they believed they had given birth. But they were actually given babies which had been taken from local women.
A judge has jailed a woman for twelve months after describing her dangerous driving as the worst case he had ever seen. Metro reports that Megan Nolan, twenty four, only stopped when smoke started pouring out of the engine of her VW Scirocco. The mother-of-two was very jailed at Manchester Crown Court which heard that she was uninsured and had been 'out drinking with friends' before getting behind the wheel. Judge Martin Rudland told her that it would be 'wildly wrong' not to send her to pris for her 'selfish and ludicrous' driving. Nolan's career as a teaching assistant now lies in tatters as she will be in prison when she was due to start her new job in September. The court heard that she had been out drinking with friends in Bury before making her way home at around 1am. Traffic police saw her speeding on the M60 so they started following her. They lost her after she drove through two red lights into oncoming traffic, but a second police car caught up with her after she rejoined the motorway. Several attempts were made to stop as she weaved between traffic on the motorway before coming off at Wythenshawe, driving through residential areas at over seventy miles per hour. After twenty minutes her engine started smoking, ending the police chase and resulting in her arrest. The prosecutor said: 'She was forced to pull the car over after it began smoking, when she alighted from the vehicle and tried to run but was arrested a short way away. When she was interviewed by police she admitted that she had been drinking in Bury and had been driving home when the officers put their lights on and she panicked. She admitted the quality of her driving was as was shown on the footage. She had no insurance and she said she was a stupid idiot who was lucky that no one had been hurt.' Her lawyer, Mike Harman, said that Nolan was 'stressed' because she was a witness in an impending court case. He said: 'This young lady at twenty four years of age has nothing, not even a youth caution or reprimand on her record. She has two young boys ages five and three, from a good family and is quite softly spoken. From the footage we have seen this time and time again, but with burglars getting away from the scene or drug dealers with drugs in the side of the car or the boot. That is not the case here. I have asked her why, probation have asked her why everybody has asked her why and she herself cannot explain it. Sometimes thoroughly decent people are only human and humans make mistakes and so do thoroughly decent people, its inexplicable. She herself says that she had two to three drinks and the background is gone into in the pre-sentence report.' He added: 'There was no collision, only her vehicle was damaged and mercifully no one was injured and that is good fortune no design of the defendant. She is classed as a high-risk victim and currently being supported. It would be catastrophic for her and her children if she was sent to prison today. She has got a job starting in September where she would be employed as a teaching assistant and that would benefit the tax payer. She received one thousand pounds in welfare benefits a months and if she works then she will be earning her own money. If she gets sent to prison then that all goes out of the window.' Nolan cried as Judge Rudland told her: 'I have to tell you that this was the worst piece of dangerous driving that I have ever witnessed in my fifteen years on the bench. It would be wildly wrong of me in the public interest not to mark driving of this sort with a custodial sentence. For over twenty minutes you indulged in the most brazen and sustained piece of driving with police chasing you sirens and bells going within three of following you. You gave not thought to anybody including yourself or the two children you have who were asleep in bed at home. You had been drinking which I suspect was the reason you were attempting to evade the police by jumping red lights, negotiating junctions, travelling at excessive speeds and weaving throughout traffic without any thought to the approaching traffic. You attained speeds on English roads in excess of one hundred and twenty miles per hour. No amount of thoughtful and well-put-together mitigating can justify that. It is only by the largest fortune that no person was injured, but there are those people who would have been woken by the sirens and lights of the police in their own homes as the chased you in the course of your risky, selfish and ludicrous driving. You will be deprived of your liberty for a substantial period of time. I take no pleasure in depriving your children of your company and your case but in light of the offences you committed a custodial sentence must follow.' Nolan will serve half of her twelve month sentence in custody and the remainder on licence and must pay a one hundred and forty quid surcharge. She was disqualified from driving for three years on her release. Judge Rudland also commended the police officers in the pursuit, adding: 'I would like to pay particular commend to the police officers driving the vehicles for their calmness, competence and care in dealing with what they were confronted with that day in their line of duty. They were terrific and professional. In the various circumstances they were presented with they dealt with them brilliantly.'
An increase in divorce petitions in one part of Indonesia is being blamed on the love of pigeon racing, it has been claimed. An official at the Purbalingga Religious Court in the country's Central Java province says that their office received ninety petitions for divorce in July, a huge increase on June's figure of thirteen, the Jakarta Post reports. According to clerk of the court, Nur Aflah, 'most of the petitioners are wives who have filed divorce petitions for economic reasons because their husbands are too addicted to pigeon racing.' Pigeon racing is hugely popular in Indonesia, where competitors are drawn by cash prizes and the hope of selling a particularly fast bird for thousands of rupiah. Aflah says the women are 'annoyed' that their husbands spend all day with their pigeons instead of with their families. Financial concerns makes things worse: 'In Purbalingga, there are many female workers while most men are unemployed. Most of the husbands end up becoming pilots. Here, a pilot does not fly a plane but races pigeons,' she explained. Gambling on pigeon races only leads to further financial distress, the Jakarta Post suggests. One villager told the newspaper that while her husband sometimes gives her money from his winnings, more often he asks her for money for cigarettes. This is the reverse of a situation in parts of India, where pigeon racing appears to be in 'terminal decline,' the Hindu newspaper reported recently. Locals in South-Eastern Andhra Pradesh say that the generations-old tradition is 'falling foul of modern forms of entertainment,' with pigeon fanciers finding it difficult to find opponents to race against. Their version of racing birds is rather different from others, with the last pigeon to return to the coop being declared the winner, rather than the first. The long waits and the expense could be putting off potential owners. Pigeon racers can spend up to five thousand rupees (that's just over fifty quid) on food and grooming for their birds prior to a race, the Hindu reports. 'The sport has lost its sheen over the years. I had to give it up as I find no enthusiastic pigeon-keepers,' one former racer told the paper.
Forty five-year old Janice Smith was arrested by officers of the Detroit Police Department, for allegedly capturing numerous wild squirrels and 'training them to attack her former lover.' According to World News Daily the victim, fifty one-year old James Robinson, was attacked by the rodents 'on more than a dozen occasions over the last month.' These attacks caused him 'many serious injuries,' including 'the loss of two fingers and one testicle, bitten off by his attackers.' The report claims that Robinson had 'no idea why squirrels kept attacking him' until he saw his ex-girlfriend, a former circus animal trainer, 'cheering on' the animals during one of the attacks. 'She was partially hidden behind some bushes, but I could clearly see her and hear her. She was yelling orders at the squirrels and telling them to attack me,' he claimed. Robinson filed a complaint to the police. In Smith's residence, they reportedly found a dozen cages, holding a total of twenty seven crazed squirrels, all of whom looked like they were owed an explanation. They also found two training dummies with pictures of Robinson taped over their faces. Detroit Police Chief James Craig confirmed that Smith had admitted that she was responsible for the attacks and confessed her plot. Smith is now facing a variety of criminal charges linked to criminal harassment and 'using animals as weapons.'
A British model was drugged and kidnapped in Milan to be sold in an online auction, say Italian police. The woman, aged twenty, had arrived in the city to take part in a photo-shoot arranged through her agent, but was abducted and held captive for six days. Polish national Lukasz Herba who lives in the UK, has been arrested on kidnapping charges according to authorities. The Foreign Office said it was 'providing consular support to a British woman.' The model, who has not been named, arrived in Milan on 10 July. She visited an apartment the following day for the shoot, where she was attacked by two men, said police. They dded that the woman was then drugged, handcuffed and loaded into a bag and put into the boot of car which was driven to an isolated house in Borgial, North of Turin. Italian prosecutor Paolo Storari said: 'The victim was doped with ketamine - then she was locked in a bag and carried for hours in a car. Think what could would have happened if she suffered from asthma.' The woman was reportedly kept handcuffed to a wooden chest of drawers in the bedroom for six days until she was released and taken to the British consulate in Milan, according to police. Investigators said that they discovered the kidnapper had organised several online auctions for the sale of abducted girls, which included a description and an opening price. Police said it was 'unclear' whether he had really abducted the victims or invented them for the auction. The kidnapper used an encrypted account to ask the model's agent for two hundred and thirty thousand knicker to stop her from being sold in auction. He claimed that he was working on behalf of The Black Death Group, an organisation which operates in the deep web for illegal traffics, police said.
A North Carolina woman's husband said that her trip to Honduras has 'turned into a nightmare' after she was arrested and charged with trafficking cocaine using a device which, he claims, was 'purchased to protect valuables.' Brandon LaRoque said that the situation is 'all a misunderstanding.' He claimed that his wife, Amanda, went to the Honduras islands of Roatan and Utila with a friend from Raleigh to 'tour properties with a real estate investor.' She took a mini-personal safe with her designed to look like a soft drink can. He told ABC11, 'We noticed that Utila is a little more primitive and the hotels weren't quite as nice, so they didn't have safes in them.' On Monday, ABC11 spoke to Amanda Laroque by phone as she was awaiting a hearing in front of a Honduran judge. 'It's been a nightmare. So I'm just ready to go home,' she said. 'They're holding me in an eight-by-twelve pen, that's un-air-conditioned; no beds, no mattresses, on a concrete floor,' Laroque said. 'There's no ventilation, there's just one window with little bars and the door. I mean this stuff is so crazy. I don't think you can make it up,' Laroque added. 'This is over an iced tea soda can.' WBTV later reported that charges against LaRoque had been dropped and she had been released.
A woman who swore and hurled a plastic cup of water at a Canberra magistrate has been jailed for contempt of court. Tracey Organ - no, really - reportedly 'became angry' during a court appearance last month, 'lashing out' when she was refused bail on drug charges. Though, lets face it, getting landed with a surname like that is enough to make anyone go through life with a chip on their shoulder. Organ shouted 'fuck you' and threw the cup at Magistrate Peter Morrison as she was dragged out of the court and off to the cells. Three people in the public gallery were also 'advised to leave' when they, too, 'became agitated' and began shouting at the magistrate. After Organ left the courtroom, Morrison said: 'That is why we replaced the glasses on the bar table with plastic cups.' Oh, a comedian as well as a magistrate, eh? It's always nice to have a second string to your bow. Organ later pleaded very guilty to a contempt of court charge and apologised for her actions in a letter to the court. Morrison said that the incident had 'created something of a spectacle' in the court. But, he told Organ: 'I accept your conduct was spur of the moment and not premeditated.' He also said he accepted the letter of apology and noted that Organ had been 'angry with police, the court and herself' and was 'concerned about her children.' Organ is currently behind bars on remand for other charges. She also pleaded guilty to a cannabis possession charge and fined seventy five Australian dollars.
An eighteen-year-old woman faces over seven years in The Big House in New Zealand for 'a prolific crime spree' which included 'a vicious attack' on a woman arriving for work at an Auckland mall. Such was the catalogue of Kaioda Aleigh Rawiri's offending that the judge was reportedly 'unable to list all of the pertinent facts' as she handed down the teenager's hefty sentence. Auckland District Court Judge Russell Collins significantly reduced what would have been a twenty-year sentence, in a court judgement published on Tuesday. Rawiri was sentenced in March on six charges of aggravated robbery between 28 December 2015 and 4 January 2016. She also faced three charges of burglary, four charges of theft, six charges of unlawfully taking motor vehicles, one of unlawful interference, a charge of driving while forbidden, a charge of failing to stop, a charge of reckless driving and another charge of failing to answer bail. Judge Collins referred to the 'most serious of the aggravated robberies' on 14 January 2016. Rawiri and 'two other young people' attacked a twenty two-year-old woman who had just arrived at Auckland's Sylvia Park Mall to begin her shift as a retail assistant. While the victim was paying for parking, she was pulled to the ground and dragged about two metres by her hair. She managed to throw her wallet into the bushes, but dropped her car keys whilst being dragged. The three youths kicked and punched her in the head and body while she lay in the foetal position, in an attempt to minimise their blows. The woman's dress and jacket were 'covered in blood and dust,' the judgement stated. She was heavily bruised on the jaw and upper thigh and suffered cuts and abrasions to her knees and feet. One of the attackers held her head down while Rawiri was kicking her. The third person, who joined the group later, picked up the woman's car keys and they took off in the vehicle. The victim;'s cellphone, valued at one thousand dollars, was taken. Rawiri also made off with items inside the car, including a leather handbag, Kindle e-Book reader and pair of prescription driving glasses, which had a combined value of over five hundred dollars. Judge Collins said that Rawiri's other aggravated robberies were 'characterised by a general pattern: often involving other young people, and taking people's cars.' He also said that she would 'target women by themselves,' attacking and robbing them, as she did with a further five women. Rawiri's other charges related to the burglaries of homes and thefts which were incident to her other offending, such as driving off from petrol stations without paying. She was also involved in a supermarket theft and other car thefts. Judge Collins said that Rawiri's actions had a 'severe' impact on her victims. However, he added that, 'surprisingly,' the report writer noted Rawiri 'engaged well at the interview' and impressed as a sensitive young person.' The summary of facts showed things started to 'go wrong' for Rawiri when her grandparents died in 2011 and 2014. She was placed in foster homes and would run away, until she ended up at the Youth Justice facility. Rawiri claimed that she 'hates to hurt [people] but does it anyway.' The report writer said Rawiri's offending stemmed from 'an inherent need to be accepted or fit in.' They also noted that she had 'limited or no support in the community' and no role model to emulate. Judge Collins said that a 'key issue' was determining the length of Rawiri's sentencing as she is still a 'very, very young person.'
A Peoria man will serve an eleven-year prison term for having sex with a fourteen-year-old girl and then sending a video recording of the act to one of the girl's friends. Benjamin Frantz pleaded extremely guilty in May to one count each of child pornography as a Class X felony and aggravated criminal sexual abuse of a minor five years younger than himself. He was sentenced last week to eight years on the former charge and three more on the latter. Frantz will also be required to register as a convicted sex offender. He had sex with the Washington girl last December after the girl's friend told him the girl was sixteen, court records stated. He recorded the act on his cellphone without the girl's knowledge and then sent it to her friend, who posted the video on a social media page. As you do. Frantz had sex with the girl a second time later that month, despite knowing by this time that she was actually fourteen, records suggested. The girl and her mother reported the acts to police in January. It was not known whether the victim's friend, also a minor, was prosecuted for posting the sex video onto the Internet.
An Indiana high school teacher has been accused of hosting an underage drinking party. The Ripley County Sheriff's Office and prosecutors on Wednesday filed a charge of Furnishing Alcohol to a Minor (a Class B misdemeanour) against Melissa Wilhoit. Several minors, including Wilhoit's daughter, were arrested at her home on 14 June. Deputies crashed the party just after midnight upon receiving a tip-off that underage drinking and other general naughtiness was taking place there. They observed open alcohol containers and a 'beer pong' game. According to the affidavit filed in court, investigators interviewed multiple witnesses from the party. They allegedly snitched that Wilhoit was 'seen giving a minor a bottle of vodka to drink' and 'providing jello shots in the garage area of the home.' In a previous court filing, investigators wrote that Wilhoit had claimed she and another adult resident of the home were 'asleep inside' and 'did not know' how many kids were at the residence. 'She will be summonsed in for an initial hearing by the Court,' said Ripley County Prosecutor Ric Hertel. 'She has only been charged with a crime and not been proven guilty of anything at this point.' South Ripley Community Schools superintendent Rob Moorhead said last month that the school corporation was 'aware of' and 'concerned about' the situation, but would wait until police concluded their investigation before taking any action.
Police in the Netherlands have reportedly arrested a man with two lamp-posts strapped to the top of his car. Lelystad officers said that they were unsure where the lamp-posts came from but they are 'assumed' to have been stolen. This was merely one of the arrested chap's many violations, though probably the funniest. Dutch police found that the car was not insured and its APK (the Dutch alternative of an MoT) was three months out of date. The driver's licence had also expired at the end of 2016. It is thought that he had filled the car with petrol but not paid for the fuel and, in addition, he was driving under the influence of alcohol. That's just about every crime that it's possible to commit in car, isn't it? 'Cargo should not be transported in this way,' Lelystad police said in a Facebook post about the arrest. 'It is expected that justice will demand the highest possible penalty for driving under the influence of alcohol, because the defendant did not cooperate with the investigation.'
A Montgomery County man is facing aggravated assault and threats charges after a dispute over cucumbers at a New Holland fast food restaurant. Theodore L Gunderson Junior, fifty eight (and, therefore, surely old enough to know better) is alleged to have thrown a salad at and threatened to kill an employee at a Wendy's restaurant, according to an arrest affidavit filed by New Holland police Officer Michael Specht. Gunderson was said to be 'upset' because he felt the salad didn't contain enough cucumbers and told the employee, 'If I had a gun or a knife you would be the first to go,' the affidavit states. By the time police arrived, Gunderson had gotten in his vehicle. He then refused to roll down the window or get out of the car when ordered to, police said. He eventually lowered the window, at which point police told him that he was extremely under arrest. Gunderson then placed the key in the ignition prompting an officer to reach into the vehicle in an attempt to grab the keys, officials said. Gunderson was able to start the car and began driving away with the officer's arm still inside the vehicle. The officer 'had to take multiple steps in order to keep from tripping' and possible falling under the moving car, police said. Lieutenant Jonathan Heisse said that, fortunately, the officer wasn't injured. Gunderson was subsequently arrested and charged with aggravated assault, 'terroristic threats,' resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. No, this blogger wasn't aware that 'terroristic' was proper word either, dear blog reader. Gosh, the wonders of the Interweb, you learn something new every single day.
A South Florida teenager who became 'famous' after appearing on a TV programme and using a 'now signature' catchphrase, 'cash me outside,' appeared on Tuesday in a Delray Beach courtroom, where a judge extremely sentenced her to probation. Danielle Bregoli, fourteen, of Boynton Beach, will be on probation until she is nineteen, but may be able to serve it in California where she is, apparently, 'seeking opportunities in the entertainment industry.' Bregoli was previously found extremely guilty of grand theft, among other charges, after stealing her mother's car and using her credit cards. Bregoli's father has fought to keep his daughter in Florida. 'Our client does not want his daughter to be exploited, period,' his attorney, Robert Shahloub, said. 'The more involvement he has in her life, the more therapeutic involvement by medical healthcare professionals that are properly licensed, we believe will provide Danielle with the guidance and counselling that she needs.' A judge has yet to rule on whether Bregoli must serve her probation in Florida.
The Newport, Oregon Police Department was recently alerted - by a moron, no doubt - to a cat which appeared to be armed, 'possibly with a semi-automatic weapon' and had situated itself high in a tree. Although, without possessing opposable thumbs, it's rather difficult to see how the cat could possibly have fired such a weapon even if it did possess one. What next, hamsters with bazookas?
A woman was shot in the vagina and left with 'life-changing injuries' in a 'sex game gone wrong,' a court has heard. The forty six-year-old had been 'engaged in sexual activity' with David Andrew Jeffers at a Stockport hotel in January when she was, to put it bluntly, shot in the groin. Jeffers admitted possessing a firearm with intent to endanger life and was very jailed for ten years. The two had been 'engaged in a sex fantasy' when the weapon fired, the Crown Prosecution Service said. Greater Manchester Police described the scene 'shocking and horrifying.' Manchester Minshull Street Crown Court heard the shooting happened at the Britannia Hotel in Dialstone Lane in the early hours of 31 January. When officers arrived at the scene they found the victim in a pool of her own blood and suffering from serious abdominal injuries. She was taken to hospital and required 'extensive surgery,' police said. The woman, who was too unwell to be fully interviewed at the time, told officers from her hospital bed that Jeffers was 'a bad man.' Police said Jeffers, of Berkley Terrace in Leeds, claimed to have 'found' the gun in a pub toilet in Leeds. One or two people even believed him. He said that he took the gun to Manchester to 'dispose' of it. Jeffers was spotted on CCTV leaving the hotel and, hurriedly, going to Piccadilly Station to catch a train back to Leeds. Armed officers raided a property in Leeds two days later and arrested Jeffers. A search of the house found a partially scrawled note denying all knowledge of the shooting, the court heard. Detective Inspector Roger Edwards said: 'This was a horrifying incident that has left a woman with life-changing injuries that will affect her for the rest of her life.' He said that the crime was 'one of the most shocking' he had encountered, adding: 'Jeffers left the victim badly bleeding in a hotel room, showing no regard for her life. I know that this has been a traumatic time for this woman, having to relive the horror of that day.'
And finally, dear blog reader, the Stately Telly Topping Manor CD player has been, as it were, 'delivering the Mael' this week. Which was jolly nice. Nowt like a few bangin' tunes from yer actual Ron and Russ to get the feet a'tappin'.

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