Wednesday, January 04, 2017

Cocamamie Discombobulations

The New Year's Day series opener of Sherlock trounced all the opposition, becoming the most watched television programme of the day with 8.1 million overnight viewers. Featuring sharks, a bloodhound, a rattle in the penk, a harrowing death scene, a motherless baby, a truly disturbing animal howl of anguish from Martin Freeman's John Watson and the great detective blinking away what could perhaps have been a tear, the episode took just under a third of the total available viewing audience. It became the second most popular programme of the festive period on overnights, beaten only by the New Year's Eve countdown and midnight fireworks, which got 11.6 million viewers. It was also slightly down on the overnights of last year's Sherlock special, The Abominable Bride, which had 8.4 overnight million viewers, a final and consolidated audience of 11.6 million, went on to win two EMMY awards and was sold to two hundred and sixteen international broadcasters, the corporation's biggest ever export success. The Six Thatchers left the Brown family trailing in its wake: the Mrs Brown's Boys New Year special was the BBC's second most popular offering, which attracted 6.7 million overnight viewers.
The New Year's Qi XL episode - Nature - afforded both Wor Geet Canny Ross Noble and Cariad Lloyd the opportunity to display a near Asperger's-like Star Wars knowledge to the point where Sandi Toksvig was forced to confess: 'I feel like I've wandered into anther universe.' Thus setting up the potential reply 'not another universe, Sandi, another galaxy. Far, far away.' Tragically, no one except this blogger took it. And, since yer actual Keith Telly Topping was sitting on his own in his gaff at the time, nobody else heard him. The story of this blogger's life, dear blog reader.
This week's episode of University Challenge saw the very impressive Bristol University team (and their cuddly monkey mascot) giving Oriel, College Oxford (and their cuddly lion mascot) a reet good thrashing. Probably the first time in recorded history that a primate without a gun has got the better of a big cat.
The final and consolidated ratings figures for the Top Twenty Six programmes, week-ending Sunday 18 December 2016 are as follows:-
1 Strictly Come Dancing: The Final - Sat BBC1 - 13.30m
2 Coronation Street - Mon ITV - 8.21m
3 Michael McIntyre's Not Very Funny Big Show - Sat BBC1 - 7.58m
4 The Apprentice: The Final - Sun BBC1 - 7.45m
5 EastEnders - Thurs BBC1 - 6.89m
6 Emmerdale - Mon ITV - 6.88m
7 BBC Sports Personality Of The Year - Sun BBC1 - 6.06m
8 BBC News - Sat BBC1 - 5.64m
9 Rillington Place - Tues BBC1 - 5.56m
10 Countryfile - Sun BBC1 - 5.34m
11= Have I Got News For You - Fri BBC1 - 5.13m
11= Pointless Z-List Celebrities - Fri BBC1 - 5.13m
13 Six O'Clock News - Wed BBC1 - 4.99m
14 In Plain Sight - Wed ITV - 4.92m
15 The Royal Variety Performance - Tues ITV - 4.87m
16 Who Do You Think You Are? - Thurs BBC1 - 4.81m
17 Midsomer Murders - Sun ITV - 4.74m
18 When Phillip Met Prince Philip: Sixty Years On - Mon ITV - 4.68m
19 Holby City - Tues BBC1 - 4.22m
20 The Apprentice: You're Hired - Sun BBC1 - 4.19m
21 Ten O'Clock News - Thurs BBC1 - 4.08m
22 Watchdog - Wed BBC1 - 4.04m
23 The ONE Show - Tues BBC1 - 3.95m
24 Match Of The Day - Sat BBC1 - 3.84m
25 The National Lottery: Saturday Draws - Sat BBC1 - 3.80m
26 Gogglebox - Fri C4 - 3.75m
These consolidated figures include all viewers who watched programmes live and on catch-up during the seven days after initial broadcast, but do not include those who watched on BBC's iPlayer or ITV Player via their computers. Don't blame this blogger, he doesn't make the rules. On BBC2, the top-rated programme was Tuesday's episode of MasterChef: The Professionals with 3.18 million punters. The other two nightly episodes of the popular cookery competition attracted 3.01 million and 2.99 million. University Challenge was watched by 2.98 million, Only Connect by 2.55 million and Strictly Come Dancing: It Takes Two by 2.24 million. An unwelcome repeat That Awful Wood Woman's Disgracefully Unfunny Midlife Christmas attracted 2.06 million viewers followed Mastermind (two million viewers), Coastal Path (1.98 million), Close To The Enemy (1.93 million), The Apprentice: You're Fired! (1.80 million), Mock The Week (1.78 million), Rick Stein's Long Weekends (1.77 million), the movie A Christmas Carol (also 1.77 million), Muslims Like Us (1.62 million), Z-List Celebrity Antiques Road Trip (1.61 million), Nativity 2: Danger In The Manger (1.60 million) and Qi (1.59 million). As usual, Gogglebox was Channel Four's highest-rated broadcast of the week (3.75 million), followed Twenty Four Hours In A&E (2.36 million), The Last Leg With Adam Hills (2.12 million) and The Secret Life Of The Zoo (2.08 million). Humans was seen by 2.02 million viewers, whilst Supershoppers Do Christmas and Kirstie's Cheap & Nasty Homemade Christmas both drew 1.87 million. First Dates was seen by 1.85 million, Grand Designs: House Of The Year by 1.67 million and David Blaine: Beyond Magic by 1.60 million. Channel Five's top performer was, The Yorkshire Vet with 1.99 million, ahead of the movie Hercules (1.62 million), Benefits By The Sea: Jaywick (1.54 million), Ben Fogle: New Lives In The Wild (1.47 million), All New Traffic Cops (1.24 million) and The Trafford Centre: Countdown To Christmas (1.15 million). Coverage of the Premier League action between Sheikh Yer Man City and Blunderland on Sky Sports 1 was seen by 1.92 million punters. Saturday's game between Crystal Palace and Moscow Chelski FC drew six hundred and twenty thousand whilst yer actual Keith Telly Topping's beloved (but unsellable and increasing accident-prone) Magpies victory at Wigan Not Very Athletic was seen by two hundred and sixty four thousand. Further Championship coverage on Sky Sports 2 - Queens Park Strangers versus Aston Villains - drew two hundred and fifty nine thousand whilst the final knockings on England's disastrous test cricket series against India attracted one hundred and seventy thousand. James Hunt: Forty Years On was Sky Sports F1's most-watched broadcast with sixty thousand. Gillette Soccer Saturday was - as usual - top of the pile on Sky Sports News HQ with four hundred and forty eight thousand punters and an additional five hundred and five thousand watching on Sky Sports 1. Unbelievable, Jeff. Midsomer Murders was ITV3's top-rated drama (nine hundred and sixty five thousand viewers). Paul O'Grady's For The Love Of Dogs was seen by six hundred and six thousand, The Booze Cruise III by five hundred and fifty six thousand and Foyle's War by five hundred and forty seven thousand. The James Bond movies Tomorrow Never Dies (one of the very worst), Diamonds Are Forever and Live & Let Die (two of the best) headed ITV4's weekly list with three hundred and ninety three thousand, three hundred and sixty thousand and three hundred and twenty six thousand punters respectively. The Living Daylights (another good one) drew three hundred and twenty three thousand viewers. ITV2's most-watched broadcast was, as usual, wretched and worthless sinkhole of rancid spew Celebrity Juice (1.24 million viewers). For shame Great Britain, for shame. We're the country that produced Shakespeare, The Be-Atles, Bobby Charlton, David Bowie and Doctor Who for God's sake, we should be better than this, surely? Family Guy and The Amazing Spider-Man attracted eight hundred and forty seven thousand and six hundred and forty nine thousand. Poirot headed ITV Encore's top ten with sixty eight thousand viewers, ahead of DCI Banks (fifty five thousand) and Unforgotten (fifty thousand). BBC4's list was topped by the seventh and eighth episodes of imported drama Modus (nine hundred and fifteen thousand and eight hundred and ninety eight thousand respectively), followed by Digging For Britain (six hundred and forty one thousand), Vienna: Empire Dynasty & Dream (five hundred and ninety four thousand), Britain's Treasure Island (four hundred and fifty four thousand) and cult favourite Time Commanders (four hundred and forty six thousand). How The West Was Won With Ray Mears drew four hundred and forty four thousand and The Richest Songs In The World had four hundred and nineteen thousand. The Dave Clark Five & Beyond: Glad All Over was watched by four hundred and one thousand. Sky1's weekly top-ten was headed by DCs Legends Of Tomorrow (1.26 million viewers). Arrow was seen by 1.14 million, The Flash by 1.06 million and Supergirl by seven hundred and twenty one thousand. Unfunny phlegm Trollied drew six hundred and twenty seven thousand punters; all of them with nowt but sludge for brains, it would seem. Sky Atlantic's list was topped by The Affair (two hundred and twenty six thousand; a repeat of the previous week's episode also drew two hundred and twelve thousand). Divorce attracted one hundred and ninety thousand whilst Game Of Thrones was watched by one hundred and seventy two thousand. The Young Pope was seen by one hundred and sixty one thousand. On Sky Living, the latest episode of Criminal Minds attracted 1.09 million whilst Elementary had nine hundred and thirty two thousand and From The North favourite The Blacklist attracted eight hundred and six thousand. Blindspot had six hundred and fifty seven thousand viewers and Greys Anatomy, five hundred and ninety three thousand. Conviction drew five hundred and nineteen thousand and Nashville, two hundred and sixty four thousand viewers. Sky Arts' Sinatra Friends was watched by sixty four thousand viewers whilst the awkwardly named - and, awkwardly mounted - Bowie & Prince, Music Legends We Lost in 2016 had sixty thousand and Danny Baker's Christmas Hits, fifty four thousand. 5USA's Law & Order: Special Victims Unit was seen by four hundred and thirty three thousand viewers and Castle by four hundred and twenty two thousand. NCIS topped CBS Action's list (one hundred and twenty thousand). FOX's most watched programmes were The Walking Dead (1.60 million), Talking Dead (three hundred and thirty four thousand) and American Dad! (three hundred and one thousand). The Universal Channel's weekly list was headed by Chicago Med (three hundred and thirty seven thousand), Major Crimes (three hundred and twenty nine thousand), Pure Genius (one hundred and sixty eight thousand) and NCIS (one hundred and twenty six thousand). On Dave, Dave Gorman: Modern Life Is Goodish was the highest-rated programme with five hundred and fifteen thousand punters, followed by Qi XL (four hundred and ten thousand), James May's Car Of The People (three hundred and fifty seven thousand) and Top Gear: USA Special (three hundred and forty one thousand). The latest episode of Drama's repeat run of Death In Paradise was watched by five hundred and fifty one thousand viewers. New Tricks had four hundred and seventy nine thousand, followed by Dalziel & Pascoe (three hundred and seventy four thousand). Alibi's highest-rated programmes were a different episode of Death In Paradise (two hundred and sixty eight thousand), Crossing Lines (two hundred and fifty nine thousand) and Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries (one hundred and eight thousand). On The Sony Channel, Saving Hope was watched by sixty three thousand and Z-List Celebrity Ghost Stories by fifty one thousand. Yesterday's repeat run of Blackadder The Third continued with two hundred and seventeen thousand. On the Discovery Channel, Gold Rush had four hundred and twenty one thousand viewers. The latest series of From The North favourite Wheeler Dealers continued with two hundred and seventy three thousand whilst Treasure Quest: Snake Island was seen by one hundred and twenty eight thousand, Tanked by one hundred and thirteen thousand and Alaska: The Last Frontier by one hundred and ten thousand punters. Discovery History's The Rise & Fall Of The Japanese Empire topped the weekly-list with fifty two thousand. World War II In Colour had forty three thousand. Archery: Tales Of The Bow drew thirty nine thousand thousand. On Discovery Science, How It's Made was seen by sixty nine thousand viewers. Discovery Turbo's most-watched programme was Wheeler Dealers with forty five thousand. National Geographic's list was headed by Mars which had one hundred and fifty two thousand viewers and Air Crash (ninety four thousand). The History Channel's top-ten list was topped by The Curse Of Oak Island (two hundred and seventy seven thousand). American Pickers attracted an audience of one hundred and three thousand. On Military History, Ancient Aliens was watched by thirty two thousand. Deadly Women, Grave Secrets and Britain's Deadliest Lovers were ID's top-rated programmes of the week (with forty thousand viewers, thirty eight thousand and thirty four thousand murder-lovers respectively). The Killing Season, Unusual Suspects and The Jail: Sixty Days In headed CI's list (fifty three thousand, forty nine thousand and forty eight thousand). GOLD's broadcast of rotten, piss-awful unfunny Bloody Gavin & Bastard Buggering Stacey attracted two hundred and thirty four thousand, whilst Only Fools & Horses had one hundred and ninety thousand. Comedy Central's largest audience of the week was for The Middle (two hundred and sixty two thousand) and Friends (one hundred and fifty seven thousand). Your TV's Corrupt Crimes was seen by ninety thousand. On More4, Car SOS was the highest-rated programme with five hundred and two thousand. Vet On The Hill attracted four hundred and sixty five thousand punters and Eight Out Of Ten Cats four hundred and nineteen thousand. E4's latest episode of the massively popular The Big Bang Theory drew 2.51 million viewers, by a distance the largest multi-channels audience of the week. Timeless had 1.32 million viewers and Hollyoak, 1.02 million. The Horror Channel's broadcast of Gallowwalkers attracted one hundred and seventy seven thousand. The top ten list also included Hammer's Blood From The Mummy's Tomb (ninety one thousand), Burning Bright (eighty six thousand), Frankenhooker (eighty three thousand) and Thirteen Eerie (sixty eight thousand). The Librarians, headed Syfy's top-ten with four hundred and twelve thousand whilst The Exorcist had two hundred and seventy two thousand. Africa and The Hunt were watched by ninety one thousand and forty eight thousand respectively on Eden. Safari Park Adventure was the Animal Planet's most-watched programme with forty two thousand. On W, Code Black attracted two hundred and forty four thousand punters. Secrets & Lies was seen by one hundred and eighty five thousand.

And, the final and consolidated ratings figures for the Top Twenty Six programmes, week-ending Sunday 25 December 2016 are as follows:-
1 Call The Midwife - Sun BBC1 - 9.21m
2 Mrs Brown's Boys - Sun BBC1 - 8.98m
3 Strictly Come Dancing Christmas Special - Sun BBC1 - 8.94m
4 The Great British Bake Off - Sun BBC1 - 8.21m
5 Coronation Street - Mon ITV - 8.04m
6= Doctor Who - Sun BBC1 - 7.83m
6= EastEnders - Sun BBC1 - 7.83m
8 Emmerdale - Tues ITV - 7.18m
9 We're Going On A Bear Hunt - Sat C4 - 6.73m
10 Last Tango In Halifax - Tues BBC1 - 6.53m
11 Michael McIntyre's Not Very Funny Show - Sat BBC1 - 6.44m
12 Six O'Clock News - Tues BBC1 - 5.51m
13 The Queen's Christmas Message - Sun BBC1 - 5.47m
14 Frozen - Sun BBC1 - 5.25m
15 Grantchester - Sat ITV - 5.23m
16 In Plain Sight - Wed ITV - 5.11m
17 Pointless Z-List Celebrities - Sat BBC1 - 4.75m
18 Ten O'Clock News - Mon ITV - 4.72m
19 Maigret - Sun ITV - 4.59m
20 Holby City - Tues BBC1 - 4.53m
21 Peter Kay's Wretchedly Unfunny Christmas Comedy Shuffle - Sat BBC1 - 4.46m
22 The Lady In The Van - Sat BBC2 - 4.39m
23 Who Do You Think You Are? - Sat BBC1 - 4.28m
24 Strictly Len Goodman - Fri BBC1 - 4.26m
25 The Graham Norton Show - Fri BBC1 - 4.13m
26 Celebrity Mastermind - Mon BBC1 - 4.12m
Again, just to repeat, these consolidated figures include all viewers who watched programmes live and on catch-up during the seven days after initial broadcast, but do not include those who watched on BBC's iPlayer or ITV Player via their computers. Doctor Who's final audience showed an increase of 2.15 million timeshift viewers above the initial overnight audience; the total was also a small increase on last year's Christmas special, The Husbands Of River Song, which had a consolidated audience of 7.69 million punters. BBC1 had the top six most watched programmes on Christmas Day and eight of the top ten. On BBC2, aside from the outstanding audience pulled in by the terrestrial debut of Alan Bennett's The Lady In The Van, the final episode of MasterChef: The Professionals was watched by 3.66 million (the week's two other episodes scored 3.48 million and 3.29 million). Inside The Christmas Factory was watched by 3.31 million, Christmas University Challenge by 2.73 million, the movie Saving Mr Banks by 2.55 million and Only Connect by 2.17 million. The final episode of the patchy and, ultimately, rather disappointing Close To The Enemy attracted 1.98 million viewers followed by The Morecambe & Wise Christmas Show (1.95 million), Dad's Army (1.93 million), Carols From King's (1.82 million), Qi (1.80 million, with 1.21 million for the extended XL repeat) and Alan Bennett's Diaries (1.79 million). Lenny Henry (Last, Briefly Funny in 1983): A Life On Screen Doing Pretty Much Exactly The Same Act was watched by 1.41 million. No, this blogger has no idea why either. The animated adaptation of We're Going On A Bear Hunt was Channel Four's highest-rated broadcast of the week - and, indeed, the year - followed by the two hundred and eighty fifth broadcast of the movie Home Alone (3.19 million), Gogglebox Christmas Special (2.87 million) and The World's Most Expensive Toys (2.75 million). Eight Out Of Ten Cats Does Countdown was seen by 2.51 million viewers, whilst The Muppet Christmas Carol drew 2.47 million. Twenty Four hours In A&E was seen by 2.41 million, First Dates by 2.21 million, The Secret Life Of The Zoo by 2.20 million, The Supervet by 2.18 million and The Last Leg Christmas Special by 2.15 million. Channel Five's top performer was, The Yorkshire Vet with 1.94 million, ahead of The Peter Kay Story (1.33 million), The Dog Rescuers With Alan Davies (also 1.33 million), All New Traffic Cops (1.29 million) and Andre Rieu: Christmas In London (1.27 million). Coverage of the Premier League Liverpool derby action between The Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws and The Everton Toffees on Sky Sports 1 was seen by 1.36 million punters. Sky Sports 2's coverage of Live Test Cricket: India Versus England - and England getting yet another pants-down hiding - drew but ninety seven thousand hardy souls. Live Italian Super Cup on Sky Sports 4 drew fifty four thousand. Another showing of James Hunt: Forty Years On was Sky Sports F1's most-watched broadcast with twenty eight thousand. With a singular lack of Premier League action on Christmas Eve, there was no Gillette Soccer Saturday on Sky Sports News HQ this week, instead Sky Sports Today was seen by eighty nine thousand punters. A broadcast of Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory was ITV3's top-rated broadcast (six hundred and thirteen thousand viewers). Agatha Christie's Marple was seen by five hundred and eighty two thousand, Les Dawson Forever by five hundred and seventy nine thousand and the movie Steptoe & Son Ride Again by five hundred and twenty three thousand. ITV4's weekly list was, again, dominated by James Bond movies with Tomorrow Never Dies watched by four hundred and twenty six thousand viewers - all of whom presumably enjoyed the sight of Jonathan Pryce overacting disgracefully - and three hundred and seventy seven thousand attracted by Live & Let Die. A fantastic movie even if it is, essentially, The Saint Gets Shafted. Let's face it, every James Bond movie should feature the hero escaping from certain death by walking over crocodiles. The Christmas Day broadcast of Where Eagles Dare was seen by three hundred and fifty four thousand. Because, of course, nothing says 'Christmas' like Clint Eastwood machine-gunning half the Nazi army, does it? Yer man Bond also popped up on ITV2 where Quantum Of Solace - Tomorrow Never Dies' only real challenger for the worst Bond movie of all time - was watched by 1.20 million punters on Christmas Eve (escaping the family? It's the only explanation, really). A day earlier, Casino Royale was seen by nine hundred and seventy thousand. The Polar Express was the channel's most watched broadcast with 1.25 million. Maigret headed ITV Encore's top ten with one hundred and fifty four thousand viewers, ahead of DCI Banks (seventy two thousand), Poirot (fifty two thousand) and The Memoirs Of Sherlock Holmes (fifty thousand). BBC4's list was topped by Inside Chernobyl's Mega Tomb (eight hundred and thirty one thousand), followed by Digging For Britain (six hundred and eighty four thousand), Darcey Bussell: My Life On The BBC (six hundred and forty eight thousand), Top Of The Pops 1982 (five hundred and forty seven thousand) and Vienna: Empire, Dynasty & Dreams (five hundred and forty five thousand). How The West Was Won With Ray Mears drew five hundred and thirty thousand and Britain's Treasure Islands had four hundred and ninety nine thousand. Roy Orbison: Only The Lonely was watched by four hundred and seventy three thousand and The Joy Of ABBA by four hundred and thirty thousand. Sky1's weekly top-ten was headed by The Flash (nine hundred and four thousand). Arrow was seen by seven hundred and twenty three thousand, the much-trailed The Last Dragonslayer by seven hundred and twenty thousand, and twin annoying heaps of festering dung Stella and A League Of Their Own by seven hundred and eighteen thousand and seven hundred and fifteen thousand respectively. And, if you watched either you should be damn-well ashamed of yourself. Here endeth the finger-wagging. For now, anyway. Sky Atlantic's list was topped by The Affair (one hundred and forty five thousand). Quarrey attracted one hundred and thirty three thousand whilst David Attenborough's Conquest Of The Skies was watched by one hundred and thirty two thousand. The latest Game Of Thrones repeat was seen by one hundred and twenty nine thousand. On Sky Living, Elementary attracted eight hundred and four thousand whilst The Blacklist was watched by eight hundred and two thousand. Blindspot had six hundred and eighty two thousand viewers and Greys Anatomy, five hundred and ten thousand. Sky Arts' Andre Rieu was watched by one hundred and thirty six thousand viewers. 5USA's Law & Order: Special Victims Unit was seen by four hundred and fifty nine thousand viewers. NCIS topped CBS Action's list (ninety five thousand). FOX's most watched programmes were American Dad! (two hundred and nine thousand) and Family Guy (one hundred and forty one thousand). The Universal Channel's weekly list was headed by Pure Genius (one hundred and ninety two thousand) and NCIS (one hundred and fourteen thousand). On Dave, Would I Lie To You? was the highest-rated programme with four hundred and eighteen thousand punters, followed by Top Gear (three hundred and seventy two thousand), Qi XL (three hundred and sixty thousand) and the movie Coming To America (three hundred and thirty five thousand). The latest episode of Drama's repeat run of Inspector George Gently was watched by five hundred and ninety three thousand viewers (episodes of the popular Martin Shaw drama took up five of the top six programmes of the week on the channel). Porridge had four hundred and eighty six thousand, followed by New Tricks (three hundred and thirty six thousand). Alibi's highest-rated programmes were Crossing Lines (two hundred and eighty thousand), Death In Paradise (two hundred and seventy eight thousand) and Murdoch Mysteries (one hundred and thirty nine thousand). On The Sony Channel, S.W.A.T was watched by sixty one thousand, Bicentennial Man by thirty five thousand and Chariots Of Fire by thirty one thousand. Yesterday's repeat run of Blackadder The Third continued with two hundred and fifty one thousand. On the Discovery Channel, Gold Rush had four hundred and ninety four thousand viewers. Treasure Quest: Snake Island continued with one hundred and nineteen thousand whilst Alaskan Bush People was seen by one hundred and five thousand and Tanked by one hundred and four thousand. Discovery History's World War II In Colour topped the weekly-list with thirty thousand. Battlefield Mysteries had twenty eight thousand, as did Vietnam War. Jesus Conspiracies drew twenty one thousand punters. On Discovery Science, How It's Made was seen by forty nine thousand viewers. Discovery Turbo's most-watched programme was Kindig Customs with forty seven thousand. National Geographic's list was headed by Air Crash which had sixty five thousand viewers and World War II: Hell Under The Sea (fifty eight thousand). The History Channel's top-ten list was topped by The Curse Of Oak Island (one hundred and eighty three thousand). Duck Dynasty attracted an audience of fifty seven thousand. On Military History, Battle 360 was watched by sixty one thousand. Married With Secrets, Ghost Asylum and Evil Kin were ID's top-rated programmes of the week (with fifty five thousand viewers, fifty thousand and forty four thousand murder-lovers respectively). Nine Nine Nine: Killer On The Line, Robbie Coltrane's Critical Evidence and Killer Kids headed CI's list (fifty two thousand, thirty seven thousand and thirty five thousand). GOLD's broadcast of Only Fools & Horses attracted one hundred and sixty six thousand, whilst Only Fools & Horses had three hundred and sixty one thousand. Comedy Central's largest audience of the week was for The Middle (four hundred and thirty one thousand). Your TV's Unusual Suspects was seen by sixty seven thousand. On More4, Eight Out Of Ten Cats Christmas Special was watched by five hundred and ninety four thousand. E4's latest episode of the massively popular The Big Bang Theory drew 2.48 million viewers, by a distance the largest multi-channels audience of the week. Hollyoaks had 1.07 million viewers. The Horror Channel's broadcast of The Sand attracted one hundred and eight thousand. The top ten list also included the Hammer 1967 classic Quatermass & The Pit (one hundred and seven thousand), Haunt (one hundred and four thousand thousand), Eden Lake (sixty seven thousand) and The Incredible Hulk (fifty seven thousand). The Librarians, headed Syfy's top-ten with four hundred and two thousand whilst The Exorcist had two hundred and seventy four thousand. Walking With Dinosaurs and Planet Earth were watched by thirty nine thousand and thirty five thousand respectively on Eden. Tanked was the Animal Planet's most-watched programme with fifty four thousand. On W, Oliver Twist attracted one hundred and eighty four thousand punters. Cake Boss was seen by one hundred and twenty six thousand people on TLC.

After a decade of swimming in circles, this week the BBC said goodbye to TV's most famous hippos - as BBC1 launched a new set of idents. The broadcaster commissioned British photographer Martin Parr to 'capture an evolving portrait of modern Britain in all its diversity' for 2017. The first new ident was screened on New Year's Day and showed a group of open water swimmers from Somerset. Other new images include a Zumba class and wheelchair rugby players. For the past decade, all of the BBC1 idents have been based on circles. As well as the computer-generated hippos, viewers will recall others featuring display dogs, motorbike stunt riders, kites, lawnmowers, penguins and an enchanted forest. The BBC said that the new portraits would be 'based around the theme of oneness' and would feature 'different groups of people coming together across the UK, united by their shared passions and interests.' The groups have been selected to reflect the diversity of modern Britain and the changing mood of the nation through significant events in the coming year. Viewers can expect to see about twenty different idents - though some have yet to be filmed. The director of BBC content, Charlotte Moore, said that it was important the channel idents moved with the times. She said: 'What better way to demonstrate this than by commissioning Martin Parr, one of the most celebrated documentary photographers of our time, to create idents from a series of portraits that reflect and represent the rich diversity of communities living in the UK today?'
King of the Mods Sir Bradley Wiggins is to swap two wheels for skis after signing up to appear on Channel Four's winter sports show The Jump. Oh, Brad - no, no, no, no ... someone this blogger actually rather respects going on that travesty? Never mind King of the Mods, you're quite possibly going to start the year as 'king of Innsbruck General'. The news comes six days after the five-time Olympic champion announced his retirement from cycling. The last series of The Jump was beset by injuries to competitors including Tina Hobley and three other former Olympians Beth Tweddle, Linford Christie and Rebecca Adlington. But, that has seemingly not deterred Sir Bradley and the other thirteen contestants from signing up this year. The thirty six-year-old, who in 2012 became the first Briton to win the Tour De France, claimed that skiing was 'a big passion. It was a mix of that and the other committed names this year that made me want to sign up,' he said. 'Major retiring Olympians such as Sir Steve Redgrave have also trod this path. I see this as a sporting challenge and want to go out there and win it. Just don't call me a celebrity.'
Meanwhile, GB Taekwondo chiefs say that they 'had reservations' but 'understand' double Olympic champion Jade Jones' decision to also take part in The Jump. Fellow Olympian. the gymnast Louis Smith and Paralympic cyclist and athlete Kadeena Cox will also take part in the new series. GB Taekwondo said that it has 'held extensive talks' with Jones about the significant risks involved. The twenty three-year-old from North Wales is set to compete in Taekwondo's World Championships later this year. She, Rio silver medallist Smith and Cox, who won gold in both her disciplines at the Rio Paralympics, all currently receive funding from UK Sport to help them train for their respective events. UK Sport told the BBC Sport website that the participation of funded athletes in The Jump was 'a matter for the individual sports concerned' - although GB Taekwondo is the only governing body to have commented on the issue so far. A GB Taekwondo spokesperson said: 'While we had our reservations, we understand Jade's desire to try new challenges and to take part in this show. We have held extensive discussions with Jade and her management and she is aware of the risks involved. She has made an informed decision to take part in the show and has ensured that The Jump and its production company has all the requisite cover and medical provision is in place.' Which is, presumably, exactly what they told Beth Tweddle last year shortly before she broke her neck.
Gary Barlow has said the success of his new BBC talent show should not be judged on TV overnight ratings because they are 'less relevant' than they used to be. Which, this blogger has spent the last five years attempting to educate you about, dear blog reader, so it's nice to see Barlow coming to the party. Barlow is using Let It Shine - which starts on Saturday, and sounds, frankly, horrific - to find the five leads for a forthcoming Take That stage musical. Let It Shine will go up against The Voice, which has moved to ITV. Barlow told the BBC: 'I think people are ingesting TV in a different way now. That old system of ratings shouldn't really apply any more.' Speaking on the set of the show, the millionaire Tory tax-avoider added: 'But I think people are still loving, downloading and buying music and listening to music more importantly. And I think people are ready for a new Saturday night experience.' The eight-week show will be hosted by Mel Giedroyc and Graham Norton, while Barlow will act as a judge alongside Dannii Minogue, Martin Kemp and former Glee-type person Amber Riley. The winners will tour the UK with the new musical for a year. Audiences for TV singing contests generally have been in decline for a number of years. December's The X Factor final was the least watched in the show's history. The Voice's last series on BBC1 also had its smallest ever audience for a final last April, with an overnight audience of 4.5 million watching, compared with 6.3 million the previous year.
Former FOX News presenter Megyn Kelly, who has worked at the channel for twelve years, is leaving the network to join NBC, her publicist has confirmed. Kelly will host her own daytime news and discussion programme at NBC, as well as presenting an in-depth Sunday night news show. The move deprives FOX News of its second most-popular host after odious conservative gobshite Bill O'Reilly. Kelly's contract with FOX was due to end later this year. She was pushed into the international spotlight in 2015 when she accused Donald Trump of misogyny during a Republican presidential debate. She later said that she would 'not apologise for doing good journalism,' following criticism from Trump's supporters. NBC News chairman Andrew Lack called Kelly 'an exceptional journalist' who has 'demonstrated tremendous skill and poise. We're lucky to have her,' he said. Billionaire tyrant Rupert Murdoch, executive chairman of Twentieth Century FOX, thanked her for twelve years of service. 'We hope she enjoys tremendous success in her career and wish her and her family all the best,' he said. Presumably through gritted teeth. Further details of Kelly's news programmes will be unveiled by NBC in the coming months, the company said in a statement on Tuesday. Kelly, a lawyer-turned-journalist, joined FOX News' Washington bureau as a correspondent before being given her own prime-time show, The Kelly File. The mother-of-three, from New York, began her career as a local news reporter in 2003, after nine years in law.
Ellen DeGeneres has said that Kim Burrell will not appear on her show after the gospel singer made sick and vile homophobic comments. Burrell referred to 'the perverted homosexual spirit' during a sermon at a church in Houston, Texas. She had been due to sing with Pharrell Williams on The Ellen DeGeneres Show later this week. But the talk show host, who is a well-known advocate of gay rights, tweeted: 'For those asking, Kim Burrell will not be appearing on my show.' DeGeneres had been asked by fans to cancel Burrell's planned appearance and an online petition was launched. In a video published after the sermon, Burrell said she made 'no excuses or apologies' for her comments. 'I love you and God loves you but God hates the sin in you and me,' she added. How nice it is, again, to see a concerned Christian so eager to quote the Bible ... whilst ignoring completely Matthew 7:1.

Takeaway chip shops are used to getting orders for burgers, fish and sausages - but one in Belfast has 'gone viral' after an -allegedly - 'flu-stricken' customer asked them to deliver medicine. Feeley's Fish & Chip Shop revealed the unusual request on its Facebook page on Friday. The online order asked the driver to stop and get cold and 'flu tablets. 'I'll give you the money, only ordering food so I can get the tablets I'm dying sick,' it added. The chip shop posted the note online and said: 'Good to see customers making use of the "add comments" section!' It later posted a picture of the medicine and added a message of 'get well soon' to the customer. The shop also said on Facebook that they would send a free meal if the woman let them know when she is better. She replied: 'Yous [sic] are real angels, will do.'

1 comment:

Mark said...

Call The Midwife, Outnumbered, Bob Monkhouse: The Last Stand, Cunk on Christmas, 2016: A Year In The Life of a Year and Ethel & Ernest were my solid Gold Christmas and New Year highlights.

Doctor Who was a pleasant runaround, mercifully lacking the Christmas trappings and an improvement on most of the last series, but personally I've had to call it a day with Sherlock.

BBC's Saturday night schedules are looking um, 'interesting'; Michael McIntyre's Big Shit and Gary Barlow's Load of Shite. Thank heavens for Taboo - serious grown up drama on a Sat night? Who'd've thunk it!