Blame It On Rio!

Yer actual Gary Lineker kept his promise and introduced the opening Match Of The Day of the new football season in his underpants. Well, presumably they were his. Former England captain Lineker pledged to 'do the first Match Of The Day of next season in just my undies' if his former club, Leicester City, won the Premier League. The Foxes promptly went on to win their first top-flight title by ten points. 'It is a one-off and a sporting miracle that has landed me in my underwear,' said Gaz, who scored ninety five goals in one hundred and ninety four appearances for Leicester. 'When I tweeted that silly bet back in December, I categorically knew there was zero chance of Leicester winning the league. Zero chance. It happened but it was magical, it was great.' Lineker managed to keep a straight face, while Match Of The Day pundits Wor Geet Canny Alan Shearer and That Bloody Ian Wright Bloke giggled like a pair of schoolgirls in the background. Lineker stayed in his keks as Shearer and Wright analysed Leicester's opening-day defeat by Hull City. But as the programme moved on to the second match, he told viewers: 'Enough of this nonsense - I'm going to get dressed!' He returned to discuss Sheikh Yer Man City's victory over The Mackem Filth wearing a shirt and trousers. 'We're not laughing at you, we're laughing with you!' Shearer posted on his Instagram account. Unconvincingly. Big Al, whose birthday it was, was later presented with a part of, ahem, individual y-fronts by Lineker 'just in case Newcastle ever win the league.' He forgot to say 'again,' as they have already won it four times - albeit, the last was in 1927!

Just to confirm, dear blog reader, that this here bloggerisationisms has been extremely ...

Here are the final and consolidated ratings figures for the Top Twenty programmes, week-ending Sunday 7 August 2016:-
1 Coronation Street - Mon ITV - 7.36m
2 EastEnders - Mon BBC1 - 7.16m
3 Emmerdale - Mon ITV - 6.11m
4 Olympics 2016 - Sun BBC1 - 5.47m
5 Eat Well For Less? - Wed BBC1 - 5.25m
6 Brief Encounters - Mon ITV - 5.23m
7 BBC News - Sun BBC1 - 4.91m
8 Ten O'Clock News - Fri BBC1 - 4.75m
9 Countryfile - Sun BBC1 - 4.67m
10 Six O'Clock News - Tues BBC1 - 4.48m
11 Holby City - Tues BBC1 - 4.29m
12 Long Lost Family - Wed ITV - 4.17m
13 The Musketeers - Sat BBC1 - 3.59m
14 The ONE Show - Mon BBC1 - 3.48m
15 Saving Lives At Sea - Wed BBC1 - 3.29m
16 Love Your Garden - Tues ITV - 3.23m
17= ITV News - Tues ITV - 3.13m
17= The Investigator - Thurs ITV - 3.13m
17= Rip Off Britain - Mon BBC1 - 3.13m
20 Panorama - Mon BBC1 3.02m
These consolidated figures include all viewers who watched programmes live and on catch-up during the seven days after initial broadcast, but do not include those who watched on BBC's iPlayer or ITV Player via their computers. On BBC2, Inside The Factory: How Our Favourite Foods Are Made was the channel's most-watched programme of the week with 2.99 million viewers; the excellent New Zealand: Earth's Mythical Islands had 2.90 million. University Challenge attracted 2.84 million followed by Dragons' Den (2.77 million), Only Connect (2.29 million) and Full Steam Ahead (2.22 million). Gardeners' World was watched by 2.14 million, Highlands: Scotland's Wild Heart by 1.97 million and Sunday's BBC2 coverage of the Olympics by 1.94 million. Then came The Mystery Of Van Gogh's Ear (1.79 million), Robot Wars (1.78 million), The Eighties With Dominic Sandbrook (1.70 million) and The Somme 1916: From Both Sides Of The Wire (1.64 million). Goggleox: Brexit Special was Channel Four's highest-rated broadcast of the week (2.84 million), followed by Nine, Nine, Nine: What's Your Emergency (2.20 million), shameful and wretched pile of festering attention-seeking faeces Naked Attraction (1.95m) and Eight Out Of Ten Cats Does Countdown (1.93m). Eden attracted 1.65 million for its latest episode. Channel Five's top performer was, inevitably, sick Victorian freak show Celebrity Big Brothers with 2.35 million, ahead of On Benefits (1.39 million). The Dog Rescuers With Alan Davies attracted 1.30 million. Sky Sports 1's most-watched broadcast was, sadly, EFL: Fulham Versus Newcastle United, watched by five hundred and thirty one thousand viewers who saw this blogger's beloved (though unsellable) Magpies' rank and cowardly surrender before kick-off against The Cottagers. The channel's broadcast of the International Champions Cup: Liverpool Alabama Yee-Haws Versus Barcelona had four hundred and fifty three thousand, whilst The Championship clash between Queens Park Strangers and Dirty Leeds drew three hundred and twenty six thousand. Sky Sports 2's Sunday coverage of England's victory in the third test against Pakistan got four hundred and fifty four thousand punters. The first Gillette Soccer Saturday of the new season was Sky Sports News's highest-rated programme with two hundred and ninety seven thousand, whilst Sky Sports Tonight was watched by one hundred and forty one thousand. On Sky Sports F1, Ted's Notebook: China had twenty three thousand punters. Midsomer Murders was ITV3's top-rated drama (1.04 million viewers). Endeavour was seen by nine hundred and fifty two thousand, Lewis by nine hundred and five thousand and Agatha Christie's Marple by five hundred and fifty six thousand. Mister Bean headed ITV4's weekly list with four hundred and sixty nine thousand. Why, for the love of God, why? Thanks to worthless pile of rancid stinking shat Love Island having recently ended its current series, ITV2's most-watched programme of the week was Family Guy, which drew eight hundred and eighty four thousand viewers. The movies The Dark Knight and The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey had six hundred and four thousand and five hundred and eighty six thousand respectively. Vera, as usual, headed ITV Encore's top ten with one hundred and eight thousand viewers. BBC4's Britain's Pompeii: A Village Lost In Time had an audience of nine hundred and twenty five thousand viewers, its most-watched show of the week. The channel's top-ten also included The Bermuda Triangle: Beneath The Waves (six hundred and fifty four thousand), The Girl From Ipanema: Brazil, Bossa Nova & The Beach (six hundred and twelve thousand) and Roy Orbison: One Of The Lonely Ones (five hundred and fifty three thousand). Masters Of The Pacific Coast: The Tribes Of the American North West attracted five hundred and twenty six thousand. Yellowstone drew five hundred and twenty thousand whilst further Olympics coverage had four hundred and fifty one thousand, Sacred Wonders Of Britain With Scottish Neil Oliver & His Lovely Hair was seen by four hundred and thirty three thousand. Sky1's weekly top-ten was headed BBC3 refugee Don't Tell The Bride (five hundred and twenty five thousand), Zoo (four hundred and ninety thousand), The Last Ship (four hundred and thirty two thousand) and Bradley Wiggins: The Road To Rio (three hundred and twenty five thousand). Sky Atlantic's list was topped by Ray Donovan (three hundred and fifteen thousand). Ballers was seen by two hundred and forty thousand, Band Of Brothers by one hundred and eighty eight thousand and a Game Of Thrones repeat by one hundred and seventy seven thousand. On Sky Living, Shades Of Blue drew five hundred and seventy thousand, Chicago Fire had four hundred and sixty nine thousand, Unforgettable, four hundred and twenty six thousand and Criminal Minds, two hundred and eleven thousand. Sky Arts' Master Of Photography attracted an audience of seventy eight thousand. Guitar Star drew seventy five thousand and coverage of the Cambridge Folk Festival had forty six thousand. 5USA's Chicago PD was watched by five hundred and eighty five thousand viewers. NCIS: Los Angeles drew five hundred and nineteen thousand and NCIS: New Orleans, three hundred and forty nine thousand. Bad Girls topped the weekly top-ten for CBS Action (one hundred and two thousand). FOX's top-ten included Outcast (three hundred thousand), Wayward Pines (two hundred and seventy five thousand), Someone Knows My Name (two hundred and thirty eight thousand), Tyrant (one hundred and seventy nine thousand) and NCIS (one hundred and fifty eight thousand). The Universal Channel's list was headed by Mister Robot (two hundred and seventy eight thousand), Motive (one hundred and sixty seven thousand) and another, older, episode of NCIS (one hundred and thirty seven thousand). On Dave, Suits was the highest-rated programme with four hundred and twenty nine thousand punters. That was followed by Qi XL (three hundred and forty two thousand), the Top Gear Patagonia Special (three hundred and twenty one thousand) and Would I Lie To You? (three hundred and four thousand). Drama's Inspector Alleyn Mysteries was watched by three hundred and seventy two thousand viewers. Maisie Raine had three hundred and forty three thousand. Alibi's highest-rated programme was Rosewood (four hundred and thirty four thousand), followed by Quantico (three hundred and two thousand), Father Brown (one hundred and sixty six thousand), Inspector George Gently (one hundred and sixty three thousand) and New Tricks (one hundred and forty seven thousand). Yesterday's repeat run of 'Allo 'Allo was seen by two hundred and seventy thousand. Yes Minister was watched by two hundred and forty four thousand, The Two Ronnies by two hundred and twenty six thousand and One Foot In The Grave by two hundred and ten thousand. On the Discovery Channel, Misfit Garage's latest series continued with two hundred and seventeen thousand viewers. Alaskan Bush People had an audience of one hundred and eighty nine thousand, Railroad Australia was watched by one hundred and thirty thousand and Deadliest Catch by one hundred and sixteen thousand. Discovery History's Treasure Quest topped the weekly-list with thirty five thousand viewers, whilst Time Team and Hitler's Henchmen both attracted twenty six thousand and Weapons Masters, twenty one thousand. On Discovery Science, Extreme Engineering was seen by forty six thousand viewers. Discovery Turbo's most-watched programmes was, as usual, the cult favourite Wheeler Dealers (thirty eight thousand). National Geographic's list was headed by Yukon Men which had ninety six thousand viewers. The History Channel's top-ten was led by The Bastard Executioner (one hundred and sixty six thousand). On Military History, In Search Of Aliens was watched by thirty thousand conspiracy theorists. Coroner: I Speak For The Dead and The Perfect Murder were ID's top-rated programmes of the week (with sixty one thousand viewers and thirty two thousand respectively). Unusual Suspects and Killer Kids headed CI's list (both eighty five thousand and fifty eight thousand). GOLD's repeat of Mrs Brown's Boys drew two hundred and eighty five thousand. The Simon Callow sitcom The Rebel continued with two hundred and twenty two thousand. Comedy Central's largest audience of the week was for the movie Just Got With It (one hundred and sixty eight thousand). Your TV's Snapped: Killer Couples had eighty four thousand viewers. On More4, Come Dine With Me was the highest rated programme with three hundred and forty eight thousand. Craft: I Made This attracted three hundred and twenty five thousand. E4's latest episode of Hollyoaks drew 1.19 million viewers. The Horror Channel's broadcast of Hostel Part 3, attracted one hundred and three thousand viewers. Dark Matter, headed Syfy's top-ten with four hundred and twenty five thousand. Mega-Tsunami: Wave Of Destruction had forty thousand on Eden. Treehouse Masters was the Animal Planet's most-watched programme with forty seven thousand. On W, David Beckham Into The Unknown was seen by two hundred and forty six thousand. Sunnyside Sessions was watched by thirteen thousand on Irish TV.

And, so to the only game in town this fortnight, dear blog reader. Them Olympics. This blogger rather enjoys a bit of satire. Particularly when it's as needle sharp as this little effort featuring yer actual Magic Mo which is currently doing the Interweb rounds.

Things we learned from watching the Olympics on the BBC this week. Being interviewed by Phil Jones after you've just won a medal makes even the hardest athlete cry like a bairn! Three in one night, mate, that's got to be some sort of Olympic record, surely?

Things we learned from watching the Olympics on the BBC this week, number two: Filling up a few slack moments during the Women's Marathon on Sunday, we discovered Steve Cram knows that a British nanny called Henrietta Carstairs in 1817 became the first person known to have climbed to the summit of Sugarloaf Mountain. Wor Geet Canny Brendan Foster, seemingly, did not have this knowledge. But, he does now.

Things we learned from watching the Olympics on the BBC this week, number three: They have Hen Parties in Brazil. And they are every bit as rowdy as the ones on Gatesheed High Street on an average Saturday night. As Dan Walker discovered live on BBC4.

Things we learned from watching the Olympics on the BBC this week, number four: According to Sir Chris Hoy and Joanna Rowsell-Shand - and, they should know - Jason Kenny first proposed to his fiance, Laura Trott, whilst they were watching an episode of EastEnders last Christmas. Who said romance was dead?

Things we learned from watching the Olympics on the BBC this week, number five: Victoria Pendleton and Anna Meares are still inseparable even though Queen Victoria has been retired from cycling for four years.

We must, however, include one short BBC-related whinge at this juncture. Keith Telly Topping - genuinely - loves watching the Olympics and he can find himself glued to even the most obscure of sports that he would, normally, run a mile from in non-Olympic years. But, he has to confess, on Saturday evening even he was struggling with bloody tennis on BBC1 and bloody golf on BBC4. Neither of which should be Olympic sports in a million years. What next, Olympic darts?

This blogger can cheerfully put up with most sports as a spectator, but those two really grate his flaming cheese. Have you noticed, however, that every four years, suddenly everybody becomes an expert on the technicalities of the most obscure of sports? This blogger found himself bellowing at the TV when watching the archery the other day "Just go for eights, statistically you're better off!"

During a discussion on this subject on Facebook, Keith Telly Topping's friend Michelle observed that American TV has been just as bad. 'This afternoon we had five choices - golf, doubles ping-pong, water polo, tennis and some weird field hockey but with your hands game I've never seen. We went with doubles ping-pong and it was pretty boring as there weren't any rallies.' There followed some confusion as everyone tried to work out what the 'weird field hockey but with your hands game,' was. Turned out to be handball. Which, this blogger remains a big fan of on the very odd occasion about every four years, that he gets to actually see some. Gosh, but those Norwegian girls are very fit.

One of the great mysteries of the universe, that. Why is it that in a sports-mad country like Britain, handball - which is massive right across Europe - never took off? And now, thanks to Brexit, it probably never will. Just one more thing to blame Boris Johnson for.

Of course, as regular dear blog readers will know, one of this blogger's mostest favourite Olympic - and, indeed, non-Olympic - sports is cycling. And, it seems that rumours of British Cycling's demise - which tend to go around each four years, perpetuated by people who haven't got a flaming clue as to what they're talking about - have been greatly exaggerated. Again. Following the successes of the men's team sprint and pursuit squads, it was the turn of the women's pursuit team to emerge spectacularly triumphant with a crushing demolition of the USA on Saturday evening. There have been some well-documented allegations that some athletes in the national track cycling programme are treated 'more equally than others,' but there seems to be little evidence to support such malarkey in Rio. Before the event, there had been general agreement between Laura Trott, Jo Rowsell-Shand, Katie Archibald and Elinor Barker that something 'very special' would be required to win the final. They were not wrong. Producing their sixth consecutive world record in Olympic competition, it is no exaggeration to say the - hugely impressive - British women humbled their American opposition and rubbed their collective nose in the clarts. Their winning margin was just over two seconds - a massive amount in team pursuit - and they stopped the clock at an astonishing four minutes and a fraction over ten seconds. In doing so they chipped almost two seconds off a record they themselves had set only hours previously. This was a seamless, perfect performance: poetry in motion on eight wheels, as it were. However, would it be wholly inappropriate to say that those compression socks the British ladies were wearing appeared disturbingly alluring? Yeah, it really is, isn't it? Sorry.

Owain Doull, one of Britain's men's team pursuit gold medallists, posted this picture on Twitter, adding: 'Hats off to the girls, they know us too well. Best part of it was I only discovered this message as I was about to walk in to their room, thinking it was mine.'

Also in the Velodrome, one of this blogger's own favourite Olympic events, the Keirin, was taking place. Half-a-dozen cyclists chasing a pizza delivery boy around the track. It really doesn't get much better than that.

Interestingly, though perhaps unsurprisingly, some - occasional - readers of this blog's apparent fascination with the great Anna Meares' bottom four years ago seems to have proved a lasting thing if Google Search traffic hits to From The North over the last few days are anything to go by. This blogger will repeat exactly what he said during London 2012, you're all sick and wrong.

Though, as previously mentioned, as bottoms go, it is undeniably a very nice one.

In fact, if you do have a soft spot for Anna Meares' bum, dear blog reader, you may also enjoy two other From The North cult favourites, Jessica Ennis-Hill's bum and Györgyi Zsivoczky-Farkas's bum. You know, if you're into that sort of thing. We at From The North don't judge. Often.

This blogger is indebted to his good friend Danny for the following thought on this very subject: 'Watching the Olympics as a modern man, you have a little Guardian-reading angel with a hipster beard on one shoulder, reminding you to celebrate the professional commitment, drive and supreme sporting achievement of the women athletes and in no way to objectify or demean them with your phallocentric male gaze. On the other shoulder is a little devil with a can of Stella, saying, "Yeah but, mate, Jess Ennis's glorious arse ..."' Yes. What he said. That's this blogger's excuse and he's sticking to it.

One would have thought that it was be virtually impossible to find anyone but the world's most miserable bell-end having a bad word to say about The King Of The Mods, yer actual Sir Bradley Wiggins after he picked up his eighth Olympic medal earlier this week. Sadly not, dear blog reader. Have a check at some of the green-eyed, badly-spelled, barely-coherent comments posted by pond scum on the Daily Scum Mail's report on Sir Brad's magnificent achievement. And then, it might be an idea to take a shower afterwards.

Bizarre Olympic occurrences: Three identical triplets lined-up against a pair of identical twins in the women's marathon on Sunday. Germany's Anna and Lisa Hahner were joined by Leila, Liina and Lily Luik of Estonia.

The twenty eight-year-old Russian diver Nadezhda Bazhina saw her Olympic medal dreams vanish before her eyes - or, technically, behind her back - during a dive in the women's three-metre springboard prelims. After scoring well on her previous five dives, Bazhina's attempt got off to a shaky start when she appeared to slip on the diving board, thus forcing her to take off at an awkward angle. From there, it all went horribly wrong.

Don't you just hate it when that happens?

Ten years ago, yer actual Michael Phelps was already an Olympic swimming superstar. But, did the American know that he was signing autographs in the presence of another future Olympic champion? Katie Ledecky, who has won two gold medals for the US swim team in Rio, is the very nine-year-old posing for this picture with her hero.

The Washington Post, meanwhile, reports that according to historians, Phelps has equalled, and then broken, a record which has stood for more than two thousand years. Leonidas of Rhodes won twelve individual Olympic titles across four Olympiads between 164BC and 152BC. Phelps' now has thirteen Olympic golds as an individual and twenty three including being a member of relays. And, he could probably defeat the invading Persians without the help of three hundred of his mates, too. You don't mess with the Game Face.

Buzz Aldrin, a man who has, let's remember, walked on the Moon, was there to witness another great achievement by an American. He posted this video on Twitter of himself saluting during the American national anthem following Michael Phelps's twentieth gold.

After Malaysia won its first Olympic medal in the diving - silver in the women's ten metre platform synchronised event - one of the country's national newspapers claimed that the successful duo will receive 'life-long pensions.' Pandelela Rinong and Cheong Jun Hoong are set to receive three thousand Malaysian Ringgits (almost six hundred knicker) per month. The duo certainly impressed the Malaysian Prime Minister, Najib Razak, who tweeted: 'The country's first medal! Proud of this success.'

Great Britain's Will Fletcher had a novel idea for how to decide who should win the rowing following the week's second postponement of a day at the regatta, tweeting: 'Another day of racing cancelled! I vote rock-paper-scissors for each event!'

Howard Shu began his bid for badminton gold at Rio on Thursday, but the American's first experience of the sport came when his mum asked another player's parent if their children could be doubles partners according to NBC Sports. Shu was turned down, with his mother reportedly being told: 'Your son sucks.'

Speaking of badminton - one of this blogger's favourite spectator sports as it happens - the story of Britain's Chris and Gabby Adcock's Olympic adventure has been occupying a lot of press attention of late. Here's the Torygraph's piece on the married couple.

One of the great things about the Olympics is that you're never too sure who's watching and who's a fan of what sport. Take the revelation, for instance, that support for the Great Britain team is coming from all corners, including The Rolling Stones' Keef Richards, someone whom one would never have suspected of being a swimming and tennis fan!

Brazil's judo gold medallist Rafaela Silva made a specific point of recognising the sacrifices that her girlfriend, Thamara Cezar, made in helping Rafaela to the podium, including looking after the couple's three dogs.

Ethiopian swimmer Robel Kiros Habte became something a cult favourite in Brazil on Tuesday for his portly physique. And, the twenty four-year-old has now spoken about his decision to choose a life in the pool. 'Everyday you wake up in Ethiopia, you run,' he said. 'But I didn't want to run, I wanted to be a swimmer. We don't have any swimming coaches in Ethiopia, but I wanted to do something different.'

There was disappointment for Brazilian archer Marcus Vinicius D'Almeida as he was beaten in the first round. However, the eighteen-year-old, dubbed 'Archery's Neymar', can hold his head up after returning to compete in the city that he and his parents fled twelve years ago because of safety concerns. You can read his remarkable story here.

One of the defining photos of the games so far was the selfie taken by South Korean gymnast Lee Eun-ju with North Korea's Hong Un-jong. Some people have suggested that the North Korean girl could face harsh and brutal punishment from the dictatorial, criminally insane regime for 'fraternising with the enemy' when she gets back to Pyongyang. Fortunately, that seems unlikely according to the BBC.

Now, dear blog reader, here's a picture of the divine Goddess that is Dafne Schippers. No particular reason, this blogger just felt like it.

Google has devised an Olympic table for how much a country 'loves' the Rio games based on entries into its search engine - and Britain is, unsurprisingly, well placed.

Bulgarian hurdler Silvia Danekova, who was extremely thrown out of the games after testing positive for a banned substance, says that she will not be appealing against the decision as the World Anti-Doping Agency is 'the Mafia in white aprons.'

In which case, it might have been an idea to, you know, 'show them some respect,' Silvia m'love. They tend to be big on respect.

And, speaking of - allegedly - naughty Olympians, Yuri van Gelder, the Dutch gymnast who was very sent home for drinking alcohol on a night out in Rio, has vowed to return to the sport.

Meanwhile, Jamaica's reigning Olympic one and two hundred metre champion - and pretty much everyone's favourite - yer actual Usain Bolt has been putting the finishing touches to his preparation, sharing his new haircut on Snapchat. Lookin' sharp, Usain.

Ryan Lochte and three other members of the American swimming team have been robbed at gunpoint in Rio. Lochte, Gunnar Bentz, Jack Conger and Jimmy Feigen were reportedly stopped by people posing as armed police, the US Olympic Committee said in a statement. The robbers demanded money and other personal belongings. After reports of the incident emerged earlier in the week, the USOC initially denied that Lochte had been robbed or anything even remotely like it. 'All four athletes are safe and co-operating with authorities,' the USOC's statement said. The group had been attending a party at the French Olympic team's hospitality house when their taxi was stopped on the way back to the athletes' village. News of the incident first emerged from Lochte's mother, Ileana, who told USA Today her son was 'unharmed, but shaken' by the theft.

Britain's trampolining silver medallist, Bryony Page, has a lucky charm - a dinosaur lunchbox. The delightful twenty five-year-old wrote her Sheffield University thesis on dinosaurs' vocal capacity while studying life sciences. Conclusion: 'They probably didn't have the vocal chords to roar like they did in the movies,' according to the Torygraph. Surprising, Bryony's brother, Marcus, told 5Live: 'We never had a trampoline, I don't know why my parents never bought one. It's annoying for me seeing how good she is. It's sibling rivalry at its finest!'

The International Olympic Committee has condemned as 'simply unacceptable' the since-deleted story on the Daily Beast website where a - straight - reporter posed as gay on Grindr to do a feature on sex at the Olympics. The IOC indicated in an e-mail to Outsports that the writer, one Nico Hines, is no longer in Rio. 'We understand the organisation concerned recalled the journalist after complaints and withdrew the story,' an IOC spokesperson said. 'This kind of reporting is simply unacceptable.' It's the IOC's first response since the controversy broke on Thursday. As previously reported by this blog, on 11 August, the Daily Beast posted Hines' rather tawdry story The Other Olympic Sport In Rio: Swiping. In it, he talked about using the mainstream hook-up app Tinder, along with the gay-oriented Grindr and Jack'd. He talked about how, as a straight, married man he went on Grindr posing as someone looking to connect. His focus was on the success he had connecting with gay athletes on Grindr. In his original version of the article, Hines listed specific information which allowed for some gay athletes to be identified with near-certainty. The reporter described how he arranged three dates within an hour and detailed what some men wrote on their profiles on Grindr. He also gave details of their height, weight, nationality, and a description of their profile picture. After an uproar online over outing athletes - including some from countries where homosexuality is illegal — the Daily Beast swiftly removed the identifying information. It later added an editor's note to the article, but as anger within the LGBT and journalistic community built, it finally deleted the article that night and replaced it with an editor's note and a grovelling apology.

Clearly there is a bit of down time at the Olympic Village between all the various medal ceremonies, as athletes have been 'swiping' each other on Tinder, according the dating app's spokeswoman Rosette Pambakian. She said: 'Matches in the Olympic Village increased by one hundred and twenty nine per cent over the weekend and the company expects that trend to continue.' Interestingly, still on the subject of The Sex, several media outlets have subjected their own dear readers to rather hysterical and, frankly, obsessed articles about, to put this very indelicately, all of the boinking that goes on at the Olympics. Like this one. And this one. And this one. And this one. It's hard not to adore the pointed use of the word 'cesspool' in the FOX report. Repressed much?

You do get the feeling that somewhere in the Olympic Village at any given moment, someone is, ahem, scoring a hole in one. As it were.

Next ...

Twice-convicted drug cheat Justin Gatlin has 'hit back' at the swimmer Lilly King after breezing through his opening one hundred metres heat. King made headlines earlier in the week when she said - not unreasonably - that athletes like Gatlin who had previously failed drug tests should be banned from the Olympics for life. Twice-convicted drug cheat Gatlin, gave King's comments short shrift. 'I don't even know who Lilly King is - she does swimming, not track and field. I'm not worried about that,' twice-convicted drug cheat Gatlin arrogantly told reporters after his race before strutting off like he owned the place. So, the fact that twice-convicted drug cheat Gatlin knows King is a swimmer indicates he does know who she is and, therefore, he is a liar as well as a twice-convicted drug cheat. And then, some Americans wonder why it is that the rest of the world hates them so much.

Sadly for twice-convicted drug cheat Gatlin, but the exact opposite of 'sadly' for the sport, in the one hundred metres final itself twice-convicted drug cheat Gatlin got his ass well and truly whupped, once again, by yer man Usain Bolt. Which was nice.

And then, Usain celebrated big-style with the heptathletes. He gets all the best jobs, that fellah.

The US women's football goalkeeper Hope Solo - a full-of-her-own-importance horrorshow of quite obscene proportions - seemed intent on making herself the villain of these, or indeed any other,  Olympics. Having already greatly upset the host nation with various unwise social media postings concerning the Zika virus, after being part of the US team that was knocked out on penalties in the Semi-Final by Sweden, Solo described her opponents as 'cowards'. Classy. Sweden's coach, Pia Sundhage, who guided the Americans to gold in 2008 and 2012, shot down her former goalie's verbal diarrhoea and bad-loser-whinging with a pithy one-liner. 'I don't give a crap,' she told reporters. 'I'm going to Rio; she's going home!' Much of the US media appear to have taken Solo's comments as 'the final straw' from this mouthy, arrogant woman and slapped her down, hard. USA Today's Nancy Armour, for instance, wrote that: 'Hope Solo is an embarrassment to both her team and her country. Whether US Soccer will finally have the guts to cut ties with its brilliant-but-boorish star is another matter.' Well, you'd have to be a coward not to, wouldn't you? For The Win's Luke Kerr-Dineen went even further. 'Hope Solo is the coward,' he wrote. 'She's the one who refuses to take ownership for being beaten by the better team.'

Social media has, also, been busy giving Solo a good old fashioned shorts-down spanking over her general daftness.

After claims that the Argentine Football Association did not pay their Olympic coach Julio Olarticoechea's his wages, he and his wife were reportedly forced to borrow money from their daughter to make the trip to Brazil. Olarticoechea said: 'My wife called me and said she is borrowing money from my daughter, who is a top pastry chef and makes good money.' Not really the point, though, is it?

Fiji's Prime Minister, Voreqe Bainimarama, watched his country win its first Olympic medal by beating Great Britain to the men's rugby sevens gold medal. Afterwards, Bainimarama announced there would be a public holiday on 22 August, the day after the team arrive home.

The Dutch cyclist Annemiek van Vleuten whose horrific crash during the women's road race had the entire world wincing, has spoken to the Dutch press about the incident, saying that it was 'an error in judgement' and that she was happy she 'did not do something stupid.' Annemiek suffered three fractures in her spine and a severe concussion following the crash which many observers blamed on the course itself rather than the rider.

Athletes in Rio are reported to be 'queuing out of the door' to receive free McDonald's food at the Olympic Village, causing the fast-food chain to limit each person to a mere twenty items at a time.

Quote of the Olympics, number one: 'It was a tough game for both of us. Sometimes it was [too rough], but this is handball. If you want to play mini-golf, you can go play mini-golf.' Is Poland's handballer Kamil Syprzak the Roy Keane of his sport?

Britain's Katherine Grainger and Victoria Thornley took silver in the double sculls earlier in the week as Poland's Magdalena Fularczyk-Kozlowska and Natalia Madaj won gold. However, all four rowers were utterly upstaged by one particularly attention-seeking fish. As British Winter Olympic gold medallist Lizzy Yarnold was one of several people to note.

Anyone struggling to sleep in the athletes village might be worth following the lead of Australian decathlete Cedric Dubler, who has packed his 'lucky teddy bear' for Rio. 'We've heard a lot of stuff about how the beds might not be ready, the village might not be ready,' he told reporters. 'I figured if I have the teddy I can sleep wherever and deal with it.'

A tangle with fellow competitors in the women's steeplechase heats saw Ethiopia's Etenesh Diro lose one of her running shoes. She desperately tried to put it back on but with crucial seconds ticking by, and runners passing her, she discarded it. So, for the best part of three laps she ran with one bare foot and still managed - albeit via protest after finishing seventh - to reach the final.

German discus thrower Robert Harting's memorable celebration after he won gold at London 2012 saw him lose his accreditation to get into the athlete's village and sleep in a train station. Injury curtailed his involvement in Rio and his brother, Christoph, won the gold instead, although the younger of the Harting brothers seems to be less of a party animal. 'Miserable' was how described himself because he could not celebrate the win with all of his family.

Compulsory military service awaits some of South Korea's men's football team, including Stottingtot Hotshots' Son Heung-min, after they were knocked out of the competition following a one-nil defeat by Honduras. Winning an Olympic medal is one way to secure an exemption from military service but their Quarter-Final exits means that Son now faces a twenty one-month tour of duty which must be completed by the time he is twenty eight.

The Indian Sports Minister Vijay Goel is in danger of losing his accreditation for the Olympics because of the 'aggressive and rude' behaviour of his entourage according to The National. The Rio organising committee said that it had received 'several' reports of Vijay Goel trying to get unaccredited people accompanying him into Olympic venues. 'When the staff try to explain that this is not allowed, they report that the people with the minister have become aggressive and rude and sometimes push past our staff,' committee manager Sarah Peterson told India's chef de mission, Rakesh Gupta, in a letter cited by the Press Trust of India news agency. 'Should our protocol team be made aware of further examples of this type of behaviour, the accreditation of your minister for sports will be cancelled and his privileges at the Olympic Games withdrawn,' she wrote. Goel has denied any wrongdoing, saying it was all a 'misunderstanding.' Which sounds entirely plausible.

United States decathlete Ashton Eaton has - rightly - responded angrily to some of the ludicrous flak he took on Twitter after he was spotted wearing a baseball cap with 'Canada' emblazoned on it. The twenty eight-year-old, who said that he wore the cap in support of his Canadian heptathlete wife Brianne Theisen-Eaton, was accused of being 'unpatriotic' by exactly the sort of utter wankers with access to a computer that accuse people of being unpatriotic in the first place.

British weightlifter Sonny Webster said he claimed a unique Olympic record on Saturday: 'There's only one record I broke today - first man to ever compete in the Olympics with a hat on back to front!'

Moments after completing a one hundred and seventy five kilogram lift, Finnish weightlifter Milko Olavi Tokola collapsed off the stage after passing out as he raised his fists in the air to celebrate. Thankfully, he was all right.

The world's largest rodents seem to be making themselves thoroughly at home on the Olympic Golf Course, which was built - rather stupidly in retrospect - on wetlands. The semi-aquatic capybara, which can grow to between three to four feet long, up to two feet tall, and weigh between sixty to one hundred and seventy pounds, have been 'roaming the fairways at will.' Sadly, none of them have bitten any of the golfers yet. But, there's still time.

We have to give Rio Olympic organisers some credit. The opening ceremony went off without a hitch and was a reasonably dazzling spectacle in and of itself. However, two days before the games officially began - and ahead of a preliminary women's football match - organisers literally lost the key to one of Olympic Stadium's gates. Leading officials to bust out the bolt cutters and get a couple of chaps to break the gate open. Which was funny to watch.

Imagine, if you will, that you're a professional kayaker who is hoping to take home a gold for your country. Then, during one run of the Olympic white-water course, you're cruising along and you suddenly crash into a submerged couch causing your canoe to capsize. That's what has been alleged to have happened to one poor competitor. Except that nobody seems to know the identity of the athlete, or even if this actually happened (last week officials said they were 'investigating' widespread media reports about the alleged incident).

Swimmer Fran Halsall and Aliaksandra Herasimenia of Belarus almost didn't qualify for Saturday's final in the fifty metres freestyle. On Friday, they along, with Jeanette Ottesen of Denmark, boarded a bus at the athletes village to take them to the swimming arena at Olympic Park. The only problem was the bus driver, over the protestations of the swimmers, took them to Olympic Stadium instead. It wasn't quite a three-hour tour, but it was forty minutes one way and forty minutes back. Organisers had to juggle the schedule to allow the swimmers to have some the appropriate warm-up time.

A female Iranian activist who held a protest banner during a volleyball match at the Olympics was asked - for which read told - to take it down and leave by security staff. Darya Safai's sign read: Let Iranian women enter their stadiums. Women have generally been banned or restricted from attending all-male sporting events in Iran since shortly after the Islamic revolution in 1979. The International Olympic Committee bans all political statements at the games. Or, at least, it bans the ones it disapproves of. After Darya refused to leave, security staff abandoned their attempt to remove her and she carried on holding the banner for the rest of the game. Safai says that she plans to attend all of Iran's volleyball matches. Safai, who was born in Iran but now lives in Belgium, held her protest on Saturday at a men's preliminary match between Egypt and Iran.

Zahra Nemati is competing for Iran in archery and while you might not think there is anything special about that, her story is quite remarkable. Nemati is a former black belt taekwondo competitor, but was paralysed in a car accident in 2003. Three years later she decided to take up archery and within six months, she had finished third at the national championships against able-bodied athletes. In 2012, she won two gold medals at the Paralympics and qualified for both the 2016 Summer Olympics and the 2016 Summer Paralympics this time around.

The Washington Times has highlighted a number of instances of some Middle Eastern nations being rather horrible to Israeli athletes at the Olympics. These included the leader of the Lebanese delegation, Saleem al-Haj Nacoula, 'block[ing] Israeli athletes from entering a bus that the teams were supposed to share to reach the opening ceremony.' The International Olympic Committee reprimanded al-Haj Nacoula for being such a cheb-end. Additionally, a Saudi Arabian athlete Joud Fahmy forfeited a first-round judo match Sunday in what the Israeli press described 'as a tactic to avoid facing Israel's Gili Cohen in the second round.' The Saudis are claiming that Fahmy forfeited 'due to injuries,' but the Times suggests that 'many athletes' from Muslim nations have avoided fighting Israeli athletes in past Olympics. There was also the case of Egyptian judoka Islam El Shehaby, who visibly refused to shake the hand of his Israeli opponent, Or Sasson after Sasson had defeated him in a match. 'Instead of using the events to forget animosity and promote peace between people, [the Saudi and Lebanese delegations] have brought their brainwashed minds to Rio,' Roz Rothstein, StandWithUs's CEO, said in a statement. 'How unfortunate that they could not implement the good, peaceful intentions of the Olympics and, instead, have used it as a forum to spread hate and continued rejection of peace.'

Remember, dear blog reader there are many countries represented at the Olympics who probably won't win any gold medals but, nevertheless, all brighten up the gaff with their very presence.

We end the latest bloggerisationisms with some very sad news. Kenny Baker, who starred as R2-D2 in six Star Wars movies, has died aged eighty one after a long illness, his niece has confirmed. Baker made his name as the robot in the first Star Wars film in 1977. Star Wars creator George Lucas paid tribute to 'a real gentleman' and Mark Hamill said that he had 'lost a lifelong friend.' Born in Birmingham, Baker's other films include Time Bandits and Flash Gordon. After starring in the original Star Wars film he went on to appear in the sequels, The Empire Strikes Back and Return Of The Jedi, and the three - not-as-good - prequels between 1999 and 2005. He later appeared at many Star Wars fan conventions across the world where he was also personable, charming and a good friend to fandom. Baker's agent Johnny Mans said that the actor had been ill 'for a couple of years.' He said: 'Kenny was truly a great friend, one of the nicest guys you could ever wish to meet, and a fabulous and talented performer.' Mans described Baker as 'a one-off' saying that he would 'never forget the laughs we shared over the years. He will be sadly missed,' he added. Baker's nephew, Drew Myerscough, said that he had cared for Baker for 'eight or nine years' after he developed respiratory problems. He said that his uncle, who lived in Preston, had 'a passion for wildlife documentaries' and had 'a liking for lasagne. He was just a normal, down-to-Earth, regular guy that enjoyed life,' he told the BBC. He said the pair 'rarely' discussed Star Wars, but added: 'His fans worldwide kept him going and he loved nothing more than going to conventions and meeting everybody - it really gave him that extra lease of life.' The three foot eight inches tall actor began performing in 1950 at the age of sixteen, working as a circus clown and in pantomime. Baker initially turned down the role of mischievous droid R2-D2, famous for his whistles and beeps. In an interview on his website he recalled telling George Lucas: 'I don't want to be stuck in a robot, what for, for goodness' sake?' He added: 'I said, "I'll help you out, I'll do you a favour." George said, "You've got to do it, we can't find anyone else. You're small, to get into it [the costume], and you're strong enough to be able to move in it," - and they couldn't use kids. I could work all hours, so I was a Godsend to them. They'd made the robot in rough form and I was the only one around at the time that was just right for it. I got into it and they put the lid on me like a boiled egg.' In another interview, Baker said that Sir Alec Guinness's decision to appear in Star Wars convinced him to sign up. 'I thought if Alec Guinness is in it, he knows more than I do about filming, that's for sure. It must be a decent film otherwise he wouldn't be in it.' Baker was also a consultant on the last Star Wars production - The Force Awakens - but British actor Jimmy Vee was already lined-up to take on the role of R2-D2 in the next film in the franchise, due for release in 2017. Despite the fame R2-D2 brought him, Baker told the BBC in 2001 that his own favourite screen role was as Fidgit in Terry Gilliam's 1981 movie Time Bandits. The comic fantasy about a boy who joins a group of time-travelling dwarves who hunt for treasure to steal starred Sean Connery and John Cleese. 'Terry Gilliam's such a nutcase, he's so enthusiastic, you can't help enjoy it. It was just a fun film to make,' Baker said. A father of two, Baker's wife, the actress Eileen Baker, died in 1993. On his website, Baker also recalled working with comedians including Ken Dodd, Little and Large, Russ Abbot, Ben Elton, Dick Emery and Dave Allen and once meeting Laurel and Hardy. He became part of a musical comedy act called The Mini Tones and later performed with his friend Jack Purvis in nightclubs. Both men went on to appear in the original Star Wars which was shot at Elstree studios in 1976, with Purvis playing the chief Jawa. Baker also appeared on screen in Mona Lisa, Wombling Free, Labyrinth, Amadeus and The Elephant Man whilst on TV his featured in episodes of Man Of The World, Dave Allen At Large, The Muppet Show, The Goodies and Casualty.