BBC1 will broadcast a six-minute Doctor Who sketch for this year's Red Nose Day, according to yesterday's News Of The World. The newspaper claims that: 
'Doctor Who will see two Amy Ponds turn up in a sketch for Comic Relief.' Red Nose Day 2011 takes place on Friday 18 March. The charity helps to transform the lives of poor, vulnerable and disadvantaged people across the UK and Africa. The Doctor Who production team has previously made specially-filmed mini-episodes for BBC1's Children In Need in 2005, featuring David Tennant and Billie Piper, and 2007, the fabulous Time Crash featuring David Tennant and Peter Davison as well as a comical sketch for this year's National Television Awards event.
Yer Keith Telly Topping is not, by nature, a prejudiced man, dear blog reader. No, Honestly, he's not. But there are undeniably some things in this life that really grates his cheese and snobbery is one of them. That's one of the reasons why he was so surprised by some comments attributed to one of his favourite TV writers, Andrew Davies, which this blog reported the other day. 'Viewers want to see "intelligent drama" on BBC1 and ITV,' Andrew told the Torygraph. Do they really, Andrew? And, you've ask all of them, have you? I mean, let's be fair here, 'intelligent drama' is not something that yer Keith Telly Topping, necessarily, wouldn't like to see a very great deal of on British TV. But, I like to watch other stuff as well and the comment did, immediately, raise a question. Who the hell does Andrew Davies think he is implying to a national newspaper that he's the sole spokesperson for about fifty million TV viewers. Yer Keith Telly Topping knows, for a Goddamn fact, that Andrew didn't ask him for his opinion on this matter. And, as a reasonably intelligent forty seven year old man, even if he does say so himself, he'd like to think that he can - if required - make his own public pronouncements on what he want to see from television and what he doesn't. Without any help from Andrew Davies thank you very much. See, here's the problem: There's a certain, very unwelcome, snobbery around the TV industry. People in TV sometimes make the most ridiculous pronouncements about the art-form that they're a part of when, in reality, most of the 'normal' people watching television - in all probability - want something from it that's vaguely more interesting than the Test Card to watch between getting in from work and going to bed and nothing more. Something a bit thought-provoking every now and then would be nice, but we also want to be entertained, not just lectured at. The recent accusations of MasterChef having been 'dumbed down' are yet another example - as though previous series of MasterChef have been some kind of last word in intellectualised TV perfection watched only by a discerning intelligentsia. It's a cookery show, for Christ's sake - a damned entertaining one, as it happens, but it was never The Ascent of Man and nor did it need to be! You're wondering if there's a point to all of this ranting, I'm sure, and yes, there is. That advert for the new 'quality' newspaper - i - really gets right on yer actual Keith Telly Topping's tit-end! That's the point! I'm sure you've seen it and, if you haven't, here it is.
It features lots of a bright young media people who drink lattes on Islington high street and work in public relations - effing Guardian readers, basically - wittering on and on about what a 'rilly great' thing this is and how it's, like, a significant moment in the history of Western Civilisation. I mean, that's bad enough - it's a ruddy newspaper not The Second Coming - but it gets worse as the thoroughly nauseating pretentious full-of-itself advert progresses. For a start, you've got Dom Joly, a man whom I think is quite funny in small doses, telling us that i doesn't feature any of that, and I quote, 'celeb gossip nonsense.' Followed by a plumy-voice over informing us that it, instead, includes 'just intelligent stuff.' So, even an advert that's unremittingly full-of-itself revelling in its own inherent intellectual snobbery of the great unwashed still can't resist a bit of dumbing down of its own by using the horrible Twenty First Century media buzzwords 'celeb' and 'stuff.' Not, you'll note, 'this newspaper is full of thoughtful articles and incisive critique, with an editorial stance that allows the readers what we hope is a balanced view of the world.' No, it's just 'full of stuff.' Because, God help i if they actually included any words longer than two syllables for fear that 'common people' wouldn't understand them. Snobs come in all shapes and sizes, dear blog reader. Yer Keith Telly Topping himself is one of them about certain things and he's bloody well proud of it too. One thing he is not snobbish about, however, is the media. Because that's something which no one working within it - even on the periphery like myself - has any right to feel remotely snobbish about.
And, speaking of rank snobbery, Matthew Fox has confirmed that he has no plans to return to television. The former Lost actor, who is preparing to appear in the West End play In A Forest, Dark And Deep, explained that television series 'take up too much of his time.' Pity for him. 'This has nothing to do with any kind of snobbery,' he unconvincingly told the Torygraph, even though it probably does.
'I think some of the best writing is on television. It's because of the time commitment, how much it restricts my ability to spend time with my family, and do things that I love to do. Having a studio tell you when to jump and how high eight months of the year for six years is not a relationship I want to get into again.' Yeah, yeah, pull the other one matey. The history of the last decade is simply littered with bright young things who had a couple of hit TV series, thought they were IT to the point that their swollen head wouldn't fit through the door of their trailer any more, and so left it all behind for the promise a glittering movie career. Only, a few years on, to find themselves back where they started, except that bit older. I've got three words for you Matthew Fox, three words which you would do very well to study and reflect upon. Sarah. Michelle. Gellar.
The latest insider news from the set of Ideal in Manchester, now. From The North's own (borrowed) 'insider', the legend that is yer actual Alfie Joey, informed his Facebook followers on Sunday that - stop the press! - 'Pizza Express don't do Calzone!
Eh? That's like going to a chippy and them saying "We do most fish just not cod or haddock."' Yer Keith Telly Topping was forced to suggest to his sometime writing partner that he could always simply buy a normal one and then 'fold it over yourself, y'lazy git!' Dear, dear, how this young lad ever expects to complete an all-singing, all-dancing piece of top quality musical theatre with yer Keith Telly Topping and the great Mark Deeks, to be called Monopolise and making its debut at the Liverpool comedy festival at the end of April, with that sort of slovenly attitude is, I'm sorry to say, somewhat beyond me. 
To some, they were unlikely TV stars, but The Hairy Bikers' popularity has led to the BBC signing them up for an exclusive two-year deal. Following the success of programmes such as The Hairy Bikers' Cook Off and Hairy Bikers: Mums Knows Best, David Myers and Wor Simon King will form what the BBC said was 'a key part' of BBC2's cookery output. As part of the deal they will make two new shows, Hairy Meals on Wheels and Bakeation. In Meals on Wheels they will show a new side to their standard TV act by exploring the issue of local council food provision to those on benefits. Their mission will be to 'reignite the Dunkirk spirit in order to get meals back on their wheels,' according to the BBC. Err ... you do realise that we lost Dunkirk, don't you chaps? Bakeation, meanwhile, sees the pair taking a two thousand-mile gastronomic road trip across Europe as the bikers seek out the best baking on offer. King and Myers said: 
'We're chuffed to bits to be working with the BBC again in this amazing two-year deal. We can't wait to get on the road making some brilliant shows we hope everyone will enjoy.' I'm assuming that they didn't say it together, simultaneously, like they're some kind of Jedward-style gestalt entity, of course. Because that would just be wrong on so many level. The BBC2 controller, Janice Hadlow, added: 'It's been brilliant to see the Hairy Bikers evolve on the channel over the last few years to the point where I can't imagine our cookery offer without them.' Alison Kirkham, BBC factual, features and formats commissioning editor added: 'The Hairies are such distinctive and well-loved faces on BBC2; we are looking forward to developing new programmes with them over the next two years.'
Smug, full-of-himself Mirra TV critic Kevin O'Sullivan continues the recent press avalanche of negative reviews for the new series of MasterChef. No surprise there. However his piece includes the following bit of quite Stalinist-like rewriting of history: 'After half-a-million appalled viewers deserted last week’s laughable auditions, Torode and his partner in culinary crime Gregg Wallace continue to rack up the contrived drama.' Not a single mention of the fact that, the next episode saw just about all of those half-a-million 'deserters' back, and that the vast majority of them hung around for episode four as well, of course. Because that wouldn't be a story, would it? Sullivan, as longer-term readers of this blog may remember, is something of a total cheb at the best of times. As this story from 2008 demonstrates. But, it's nice to know that - as with various colleagues around the media - he's also got the habit of using statistics in ways which suit him and ignoring them when they don't. Colonel Gaddafi would be well-proud of you, Kev!
In the least-surprising story of the year so far, The King's Speech has been crowned best picture at the Oscars, with Colin Firth named best actor. Tom Hooper was named best director for the film, which also won for best original screenplay at the ceremony and with which the American public is currently having a rather torrid love affair. Not undeservedly either, but I do tend to wonder if it'd been The Sheet Metal Worker From Gateshead's Speech whether it would have found quite the same audience! Its best picture rival, The Social Network, won three awards, for adapted screenplay, film editing and score. Natalie Portman won best actress for Black Swan. Christian Bale and Melissa Leo won supporting acting awards for boxing drama The Fighter. Firth, who had been firm favourite to win for his portrayal of King George VI, joked: 'I have a feeling my career's just peaked.' Well, yeah, Col. It's all downhill from here! The success of The King's Speech denied director David Fincher and his film The Social Network, the story of the creation of Facebook that was considered its closest rival at the ceremony in Los Angeles' Kodak Theatre. Paying tribute to his film's stars, Hooper said: 'Thank you to my wonderful actors, the triangle of man-love which is Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush and me. I'm only here because of you guys.' Screenwriter David Seidler thanked the Queen for 'not putting me in the Tower of London' for the swearing that featured in his Oscar-winning script. The King's Speech had led the nominations, competing in twelve categories, ahead of the ten nominations for True Grit - from which the Coen brothers' Western, sadly, won nothing. There had been eight nominations each for Inception and The Social Network, the adapted screenplay for the latter winning an Oscar for The West Wing creator Aaron Sorkin. Portman had been the favourite for the best actress prize for her performance as a disturbed ballet dancer in Black Swan.
'This is insane, and I truly, sincerely wish that the prize tonight was to get to work with my fellow nominees - I'm so in awe of you,' said the former Queen of Naboo. Among the women she beat to the Oscar was The Kids Are All Right actress Annette Bening, who has now been nominated four times without success. Look on the bright side, Annette - it took Paul Newman seven goes before he got one. And, even then, it was probably a sympathy vote for a not-particularly-distinguished movie! After being named best actress in a supporting role, Leo said: 'I know there have been a lot of people saying some real, real nice things to me for several months now, but I am just shaking in my boots here.' Her triumph denied Briton Helena Bonham Carter, nominated for her role as Queen Elizabeth, the future Queen Mother in The King's Speech, as well as The Fighter cast-mate Amy Adams. Leo had to be bleeped by broadcasters when she swore during her acceptance speech and later apologised, saying it had been 'very inappropriate.' During his speech, Bale joked: 'I'm not going to drop the F-bomb like she did.' The Welsh-born actor said: 'What a room full of talented, inspirational people - and what am I doing in the midst of you?' He also paid tribute to his wife, whom he described as 'my mast through the storms of life.' SF spectacular Inception won four technical awards, for cinematography, visual effects, sound mixing and sound editing, while there were two for Alice in Wonderland, for art direction and costume design. The best make-up prize went to The Wolfman. Danish film In a Better World collected the best foreign language film prize. The best animated feature award went to Toy Story 3, which also picked up the best original song Oscar for 'We Belong Together.' The Lost Thing was named best animated short film. The best documentary feature Academy Award went to Inside Job, an examination of the recent global financial crisis. After collecting his award, director Charles Ferguson said: 'Forgive me, I must start by pointing out that three years after our horrific financial crisis caused by financial fraud, not a single financial executive has gone to jail - and that's wrong.' The documentary short film prize went to Strangers No More, and the live action short honour to God of Love. James Franco and Anne Hathaway hosted the eighty third Academy Awards and joked about the organisers' plans for a more youthful feel to this year's ceremony. 'You look very appealing to a younger demographic,' Hathaway told her co-host.
Emily Watson has defended ITV's upcoming drama Appropriate Adult. This focuses on the period between the arrest of serial killer Fred West and his subsequent suicide.
Watson, who plays the social worker Janet Leach, has now told the Daily Torygraph that the drama is 'not nasty. It is really about the investigation and the interviews,' she said. 'It's only indirectly about what happened.' She added: 'It's handled very sensitively.' Watson's co-star Dominic West, who will play the killer, recently admitted that he found his research for the show 'disturbing.'
Bishaash, a twenty four-part drama made by the BBC World Service Trust for audiences in Bangladesh, will be broadcast in the UK for the first time on Asian channel Zee TV. The drama has been given for free to Zee TV by the World Service Trust, a charitable organisation that produces content with financial help from donors including the Department for International Development as well as charitable trusts such as the Gates Foundation. It will begin broadcasting in March. Billed as south Asia's first supernatural detective series, Bishaash follows the journey of Zara, a young British-Bangladeshi woman who moves from London to Bangladesh after discovering she is the co-owner of an antique shop in Dhaka. Here, she encounters supernatural investigator Abir and his world of mystery, magic and adventure. Bishaash, featuring dialogue in Bengali and English, has already been shown to great acclaim in Bangladesh, where it regularly attracted audiences of around fourteen million viewers per episode, according to the World Service Trust. The drama also has a partner programme, BBC Janala: Mojay Mojay Shekha, which will also be aired on Zee TV.
The educational game show builds on the English used in the drama in order to help teach the language. Both programmes are part of English in Action, an initiative launched by DfID to support the economic development of Bangladesh by raising the English-language skills of twenty five million people across the country. The BBC World Service Trust's Asia director, Caroline Howie, said: 'For many British Bangladeshis the desire and need to learn English is strong, even today. This new partnership will provide an opportunity for people with low English skills to share in the unique learning experience provided by the shows.'
The Broadcasting Press Guild have announced the nominations for their thirty seventh Annual Award Ceremony as mentioned in a previous blog.
This year, The Lord Thy God Steven Moffat (Thou Shalt Worship No Other Gods Before He) has been nominated for the Writer's Award for both his work on Doctor Who and alongside Mark Gatiss and Steve Thompson for Sherlock. Other nominees for this award are Jo Brand, Vicki Pepperdine and Joanna Scanlan for Getting On, and Lord Snotty Julian Fellowes for Downton Abbey. The winners will be announced at the BPG Awards lunch on 25 March at the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane.
A ban on product placement has been lifted, allowing advertisers to pay for their goods to be seen on British TV. Paid-for references to products and services are now permitted for the first time in shows produced in the UK, including soaps and one-off dramas. The first product, Nestlé's Dolce Gusto, has appeared on This Morning on Monday. The Church of England and doctors' leaders have opposed the move, saying it could damage trust in broadcasters and promote unhealthy lifestyles. Under Ofcom regulations, broadcasters must inform viewers by displaying the letter P for three seconds at the start and end of any programme which contains product placement. The telecoms regulator has said any placement must be editorially justified and not unduly prominent.
It will not be allowed in news, current affairs or children's programmes - or for alcoholic drinks and foods high in salt, sugar and fat. And it will continue to be banned for BBC shows. In the United States, advertisers such as Coca-Cola and Apple pay millions of dollars to place their products in films and TV programmes. When the European Union lifted its ban on such payments, there was heated debate over whether it should be allowed in productions made in the UK. Commercial broadcasters and independent producers argued it would help to pay for programmes. The last Labour government eventually gave the go-ahead, but only after setting out strict limitations.
Pregnant Holly Willoughby missed Monday's edition of This Morning, after pulling out of the previous evening's Twatting About On Ice on doctor's orders. Big fat cuddly Coleen Nolan stepped in at as a last minute as a replacement.
Co-presenter Philip Schofield said on Sunday on his Twitter account: 'So! @hollywills is suffering from migraines and has been advised by her doctor to rest. Coleen will present DOI with me tonight. Get well soon, Holly.' Willoughby's spokesman said: 'She's absolutely fine but suffered from a nasty migraine this weekend. Her doctor advised her to rest properly and she'll be back at Twatting About On Ice next week.' On Monday, Willoughby was said to be 'still too unwell' to resume presenting duties, and was replaced on that day's edition of This Morning by Ruth Langsford. But her spokesman quickly reassured fans, telling the Metro: 'Holly is fine and is just resting at home. She is hoping to be back at work tomorrow.'
Howard Overman, writer and creator of E4's Misfits, will take part in a BAFTA question and answer event next month. As he prepares to shoot series three of the BAFTA award-winning show, Overman will reveal where his ideas for Misfits came from, how it's written and perhaps hint at where it's going in 2011. Illustrated with clips, the Q&A will be led by Kate Leys. The event takes places at 6.30pm on Monday 28 March, at Nottingham's Broadway Cinema. It will last approximately ninety minutes.
A second series of Sky1's action drama Strike Back has begun filming. Conceived from the novels by ex-SAS soldier Chris Ryan, a first series was broadcast in May 2010, featured a cunning mixture of 'stuff blowing up' and 'tool-stiffening violence' and starred Richard Armitage, Andrew Lincoln, Orla Brady, Shelley Conn and Colin Salmon. Jointly commissioned by Sky and HBO/Cinemax, Strike Back will increase its run from six to ten episodes for series two, with the first six episodes filmed on location across South Africa before the production moves to Hungary in the early summer.
Elaine Pyke, Sky's Head of Drama, said: 'We look forward to series twobeing even bigger and better.' Andy Harries, Executive Producer for Left Bank Pictures commented: 'Strike Back was conceived as a high octane action adventure with the scale and impact of a US series and to have HBO/Cinemax on board will turn this ambition into reality.' The second series will feature 'original storylines that run across globe-spanning settings as a former US Special Forces operative teams up with Section Twenty to stop an international terrorist group.' Two new characters will be introduced, played by American actor Philip Winchester and Australian Sullivan Stapleton.
Element TV and a Scottish consortium have become the latest bidders to express an interest in taking on cthe lack of ulture secretary the vile and odious Hunt's new national TV channel for delivering local content to major British cities. The Element TV management team comprises of veterans of the TV, technology and investment industries, including senior experience at Sail TV, VBS.tv, City Channel Ireland, Chellozone, Chello Central Europe, Channel M, Channel Six (Ireland), TV3 (Ireland) and the Guardian Media Group. Oh, God. The thought of a Guardian TV channel is just too horrible to contemple. You can imagine, for instance, their award-winning comedy improv show Whose Frappuccino Is This Anyway? Or, their gritty new urban soap IslingtonEnders. Speaking about the bid, Element TV founder and chief executive Jamie Conway said that there is 'a commercially viable' future for local TV in Britain, but only if people think differently. Creating pan-national networks that opt out to short bursts of local programming provides nothing new and merely pays lip service to the concept of local broadcasting,' he said. 'Solutions and opportunities to let local businesses advertise to their local areas is as essential in creating a relevance to viewers as local programming is.' Caroline Bailes, head of 'corporate development and intelligence' at the GMG, has been appointed Element TV's director of finance and strategy. But, just before we go on, can we have a look of that job title again? There's a head of 'intelligence' at the Gruniad? Does she have 'vayz of making you tok' one wonders? Bailes was recently involved in putting together the business plan for Channel M, the local TV channel serving Manchester. She said: 'The Channel M project proved beyond doubt that there is a healthy appetite for local TV in this country from both viewers and advertisers. The network model that we propose will allow local channels to flourish in a way that was previously impossible. The future really is bright for local TV.' Last year, Element TV met with Nicholas Shott's independent television panel, which submitted an investigation report to the vile and odious Hunt in December, along with media regulator Ofcom and the vile and odious Hunt's Department for Culture, Media and Sport. The vile and odious Hunt wants bidders to submit proposals by tomorrow for providing the channel on Freeview, which would have a national schedule but enable local operators to 'opt out' in certain areas to deliver local shows and adverts. Element TV said that its 'exhaustive research' into both audience and local business demands has produced a sustainable model for local TV. Alongside the TV channel, Element would also focus on the delivery of content across mobile, IPTV and video on-demand platforms. It has already formed strategic partnerships with technology companies in those areas. The vile and odious Hunt believes that local TV is commercially viable in between ten to twelve major cities, but Element claims to have 'developed the ability to provide support and broadcast solutions that will allow towns and villages to launch their own TV services in ways that could never have been considered before. Providing on-the-hour local news, events, sport and weather is something that has never really been considered before' said Conway. 'A thirty-minute evening news bulletin covering thousands of square miles was fine for the 1950s, but people today want information that is relevant to them and they want it regularly. We propose to make sure that viewers are never more than thirty minutes away from a local bulletin of news, weather, sport and local information throughout the day.' David McCormack, Element TV head of operations, added: 'The technological advancements of the past two years alone means that getting pictures onto people’s screens is cheaper than ever without any loss of quality or production values. We're proposing to let channels flourish in smaller areas by letting them focus on content creation and we'll take care of all the backhaul and broadcasting issues that would ordinarily destroy their balance sheets.' Also vying for the local TV channel is a consortium of Scottish campaigners hoping to create a new network covering the whole of Scotland. The group, led by Institute of Local TV campaigner David Rushton, wants to establish eight main local stations in Scotland, catering for audiences ranging from one hundred and forty thousand people in Perth & Kinross to three quarters of a million in Glasgow & Clyde. A further six local stations would cover the Highlands and Islands running from the Shetlands to the Western Isles, producing local news and other programming. The strategy would dovetail with plans already put forward for the creation of a new Scotland-wide digital channel to operate outside of the BBC and STV. Element TV and the Scottish Network join former ITV News editor Nigel Dacre and Welsh independent production company Tinopolis in expressing an interest in the channel, along with Richard Horwood's Channel Six group and the Local Television Network, led by Greg Dyke.
Bob Dylan's former girlfriend Suze Rotolo, the inspiration for some of the singer's best love songs, has died at the age of sixty seven. Rotolo also appeared with Dylan on the iconic cover of his 1963 breakthrough LP The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan. She inspired such songs as 'Don't Think Twice, It's All Right', 'Boots of Spanish Leather' and 'Tomorrow Is a Long Time.' And, their break-up was behind several of the songs on 1964's Another Side of Bob Dylan, most notably 'It Ain't Me Babe' and the bitter 'Ballad in Plain D.' Her friend and Village Voice critic Jim Hoberman wrote that she died in her New York apartment 'and the arms of her husband of forty years, Enzo Bartoccioli.'
Dylan met Rotolo, then aged seventeen, after a gig in 1961 and the couple stayed together for the next three years enjoying a sometimes tempestuous relationship that included several periods apart. Dylan later wrote that meeting her 'was like stepping into the tales of 1,001 Arabian Nights,' adding: 'She had a smile that could light up a street full of people. A Rodin sculpture come to life.' Rotolo, who worked in a variety of roles in the civil rights movement and whose political views were widely regarded as having triggered Dylan's own topical songwriting, went on to become an artist and teacher. She also wrote a very affectionate and amusing memoir of life in Greenwich Village in the 1960s, A Freewheelin' Time, which was published in 2008 and appeared in Martin Scorsese's 2005 Dylan documtnary No Direction Home. She is survived by her husband, Enzo and son, Luca.
Reports that England defender Ashley Cole - yes, Cheryl's ex-bloke - shot a man at Moscow Chelski's training ground in Surrey are to be investigated, police have said. The News of the World reported on Sunday that a twenty one-year-old man had been hit by a lead pellet fired from an air rifle belonging to Cole. Chelski issued a statement saying that the matter had been investigated and 'appropriate action' is being taken. Surrey Police said no allegation had been made but they will contact the club to see if an offence had occurred. According to reports (see left), Tom Cowan - a sports sciences student who is on a work placement with Chelsea - was treated by the club's medical staff at the training facility in Cobham and did not require hospital treatment. A spokesman for Surrey Police said:
'We can confirm that while no direct allegation has been made. The matter has been brought to our attention through reports in the media and we will be contacting the club in due course to establish whether any criminal offence has been committed.' The statement from the club said: 'We have fully investigated the incident and we are taking appropriate action. We will not be commenting further as it is an internal matter.' Cole, recently became the most capped full-back in English history and was named the England squad's player of the year in 2010 despite the fact that for much of his career he was seen by many in the game as a nasty little cheat who often feigned injury to get fellow professionals sent off.
Occasionally, this blog gets vistors who've arrived through the most curious of routes. This weekend, for instance, a From The North piece from last October which included a review of the Armonstrong & Miller Show episode featuring A-ha's Morten Harket was, seemingly, viewed by someone who'd arrived via a Google search for 'spanking morten harket bare botom' [sic]. Sorry, mate. Not my particular bag, that one. But, I'm sure there will be a specialsit website out there, somewhere. Good luck with your search, my friend.
And, so to yer actual Keith Telly Topping's 45 of the Day. Well, in honour of yesterday's stunning cricket match between England and India it was going to be this. Queue the trumpets.
But, on further reflection, and in tribute to the late Suze Rotolo, I suppose I'd really better make it this one instead. (Yes, I know it's the Johnny Cash version, but you try finding a version of it by Bob on You Tube, dear blog reader! Be fair, I could've gone for the Elvis version! Or, the Chet Atkins version for that matter.)
Seems fitting, really.
'Doctor Who will see two Amy Ponds turn up in a sketch for Comic Relief.' Red Nose Day 2011 takes place on Friday 18 March. The charity helps to transform the lives of poor, vulnerable and disadvantaged people across the UK and Africa. The Doctor Who production team has previously made specially-filmed mini-episodes for BBC1's Children In Need in 2005, featuring David Tennant and Billie Piper, and 2007, the fabulous Time Crash featuring David Tennant and Peter Davison as well as a comical sketch for this year's National Television Awards event.Yer Keith Telly Topping is not, by nature, a prejudiced man, dear blog reader. No, Honestly, he's not. But there are undeniably some things in this life that really grates his cheese and snobbery is one of them. That's one of the reasons why he was so surprised by some comments attributed to one of his favourite TV writers, Andrew Davies, which this blog reported the other day. 'Viewers want to see "intelligent drama" on BBC1 and ITV,' Andrew told the Torygraph. Do they really, Andrew? And, you've ask all of them, have you? I mean, let's be fair here, 'intelligent drama' is not something that yer Keith Telly Topping, necessarily, wouldn't like to see a very great deal of on British TV. But, I like to watch other stuff as well and the comment did, immediately, raise a question. Who the hell does Andrew Davies think he is implying to a national newspaper that he's the sole spokesperson for about fifty million TV viewers. Yer Keith Telly Topping knows, for a Goddamn fact, that Andrew didn't ask him for his opinion on this matter. And, as a reasonably intelligent forty seven year old man, even if he does say so himself, he'd like to think that he can - if required - make his own public pronouncements on what he want to see from television and what he doesn't. Without any help from Andrew Davies thank you very much. See, here's the problem: There's a certain, very unwelcome, snobbery around the TV industry. People in TV sometimes make the most ridiculous pronouncements about the art-form that they're a part of when, in reality, most of the 'normal' people watching television - in all probability - want something from it that's vaguely more interesting than the Test Card to watch between getting in from work and going to bed and nothing more. Something a bit thought-provoking every now and then would be nice, but we also want to be entertained, not just lectured at. The recent accusations of MasterChef having been 'dumbed down' are yet another example - as though previous series of MasterChef have been some kind of last word in intellectualised TV perfection watched only by a discerning intelligentsia. It's a cookery show, for Christ's sake - a damned entertaining one, as it happens, but it was never The Ascent of Man and nor did it need to be! You're wondering if there's a point to all of this ranting, I'm sure, and yes, there is. That advert for the new 'quality' newspaper - i - really gets right on yer actual Keith Telly Topping's tit-end! That's the point! I'm sure you've seen it and, if you haven't, here it is.
It features lots of a bright young media people who drink lattes on Islington high street and work in public relations - effing Guardian readers, basically - wittering on and on about what a 'rilly great' thing this is and how it's, like, a significant moment in the history of Western Civilisation. I mean, that's bad enough - it's a ruddy newspaper not The Second Coming - but it gets worse as the thoroughly nauseating pretentious full-of-itself advert progresses. For a start, you've got Dom Joly, a man whom I think is quite funny in small doses, telling us that i doesn't feature any of that, and I quote, 'celeb gossip nonsense.' Followed by a plumy-voice over informing us that it, instead, includes 'just intelligent stuff.' So, even an advert that's unremittingly full-of-itself revelling in its own inherent intellectual snobbery of the great unwashed still can't resist a bit of dumbing down of its own by using the horrible Twenty First Century media buzzwords 'celeb' and 'stuff.' Not, you'll note, 'this newspaper is full of thoughtful articles and incisive critique, with an editorial stance that allows the readers what we hope is a balanced view of the world.' No, it's just 'full of stuff.' Because, God help i if they actually included any words longer than two syllables for fear that 'common people' wouldn't understand them. Snobs come in all shapes and sizes, dear blog reader. Yer Keith Telly Topping himself is one of them about certain things and he's bloody well proud of it too. One thing he is not snobbish about, however, is the media. Because that's something which no one working within it - even on the periphery like myself - has any right to feel remotely snobbish about.And, speaking of rank snobbery, Matthew Fox has confirmed that he has no plans to return to television. The former Lost actor, who is preparing to appear in the West End play In A Forest, Dark And Deep, explained that television series 'take up too much of his time.' Pity for him. 'This has nothing to do with any kind of snobbery,' he unconvincingly told the Torygraph, even though it probably does.
'I think some of the best writing is on television. It's because of the time commitment, how much it restricts my ability to spend time with my family, and do things that I love to do. Having a studio tell you when to jump and how high eight months of the year for six years is not a relationship I want to get into again.' Yeah, yeah, pull the other one matey. The history of the last decade is simply littered with bright young things who had a couple of hit TV series, thought they were IT to the point that their swollen head wouldn't fit through the door of their trailer any more, and so left it all behind for the promise a glittering movie career. Only, a few years on, to find themselves back where they started, except that bit older. I've got three words for you Matthew Fox, three words which you would do very well to study and reflect upon. Sarah. Michelle. Gellar.The latest insider news from the set of Ideal in Manchester, now. From The North's own (borrowed) 'insider', the legend that is yer actual Alfie Joey, informed his Facebook followers on Sunday that - stop the press! - 'Pizza Express don't do Calzone!
Eh? That's like going to a chippy and them saying "We do most fish just not cod or haddock."' Yer Keith Telly Topping was forced to suggest to his sometime writing partner that he could always simply buy a normal one and then 'fold it over yourself, y'lazy git!' Dear, dear, how this young lad ever expects to complete an all-singing, all-dancing piece of top quality musical theatre with yer Keith Telly Topping and the great Mark Deeks, to be called Monopolise and making its debut at the Liverpool comedy festival at the end of April, with that sort of slovenly attitude is, I'm sorry to say, somewhat beyond me. 
To some, they were unlikely TV stars, but The Hairy Bikers' popularity has led to the BBC signing them up for an exclusive two-year deal. Following the success of programmes such as The Hairy Bikers' Cook Off and Hairy Bikers: Mums Knows Best, David Myers and Wor Simon King will form what the BBC said was 'a key part' of BBC2's cookery output. As part of the deal they will make two new shows, Hairy Meals on Wheels and Bakeation. In Meals on Wheels they will show a new side to their standard TV act by exploring the issue of local council food provision to those on benefits. Their mission will be to 'reignite the Dunkirk spirit in order to get meals back on their wheels,' according to the BBC. Err ... you do realise that we lost Dunkirk, don't you chaps? Bakeation, meanwhile, sees the pair taking a two thousand-mile gastronomic road trip across Europe as the bikers seek out the best baking on offer. King and Myers said: 
'We're chuffed to bits to be working with the BBC again in this amazing two-year deal. We can't wait to get on the road making some brilliant shows we hope everyone will enjoy.' I'm assuming that they didn't say it together, simultaneously, like they're some kind of Jedward-style gestalt entity, of course. Because that would just be wrong on so many level. The BBC2 controller, Janice Hadlow, added: 'It's been brilliant to see the Hairy Bikers evolve on the channel over the last few years to the point where I can't imagine our cookery offer without them.' Alison Kirkham, BBC factual, features and formats commissioning editor added: 'The Hairies are such distinctive and well-loved faces on BBC2; we are looking forward to developing new programmes with them over the next two years.'Smug, full-of-himself Mirra TV critic Kevin O'Sullivan continues the recent press avalanche of negative reviews for the new series of MasterChef. No surprise there. However his piece includes the following bit of quite Stalinist-like rewriting of history: 'After half-a-million appalled viewers deserted last week’s laughable auditions, Torode and his partner in culinary crime Gregg Wallace continue to rack up the contrived drama.' Not a single mention of the fact that, the next episode saw just about all of those half-a-million 'deserters' back, and that the vast majority of them hung around for episode four as well, of course. Because that wouldn't be a story, would it? Sullivan, as longer-term readers of this blog may remember, is something of a total cheb at the best of times. As this story from 2008 demonstrates. But, it's nice to know that - as with various colleagues around the media - he's also got the habit of using statistics in ways which suit him and ignoring them when they don't. Colonel Gaddafi would be well-proud of you, Kev!
In the least-surprising story of the year so far, The King's Speech has been crowned best picture at the Oscars, with Colin Firth named best actor. Tom Hooper was named best director for the film, which also won for best original screenplay at the ceremony and with which the American public is currently having a rather torrid love affair. Not undeservedly either, but I do tend to wonder if it'd been The Sheet Metal Worker From Gateshead's Speech whether it would have found quite the same audience! Its best picture rival, The Social Network, won three awards, for adapted screenplay, film editing and score. Natalie Portman won best actress for Black Swan. Christian Bale and Melissa Leo won supporting acting awards for boxing drama The Fighter. Firth, who had been firm favourite to win for his portrayal of King George VI, joked: 'I have a feeling my career's just peaked.' Well, yeah, Col. It's all downhill from here! The success of The King's Speech denied director David Fincher and his film The Social Network, the story of the creation of Facebook that was considered its closest rival at the ceremony in Los Angeles' Kodak Theatre. Paying tribute to his film's stars, Hooper said: 'Thank you to my wonderful actors, the triangle of man-love which is Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush and me. I'm only here because of you guys.' Screenwriter David Seidler thanked the Queen for 'not putting me in the Tower of London' for the swearing that featured in his Oscar-winning script. The King's Speech had led the nominations, competing in twelve categories, ahead of the ten nominations for True Grit - from which the Coen brothers' Western, sadly, won nothing. There had been eight nominations each for Inception and The Social Network, the adapted screenplay for the latter winning an Oscar for The West Wing creator Aaron Sorkin. Portman had been the favourite for the best actress prize for her performance as a disturbed ballet dancer in Black Swan.
'This is insane, and I truly, sincerely wish that the prize tonight was to get to work with my fellow nominees - I'm so in awe of you,' said the former Queen of Naboo. Among the women she beat to the Oscar was The Kids Are All Right actress Annette Bening, who has now been nominated four times without success. Look on the bright side, Annette - it took Paul Newman seven goes before he got one. And, even then, it was probably a sympathy vote for a not-particularly-distinguished movie! After being named best actress in a supporting role, Leo said: 'I know there have been a lot of people saying some real, real nice things to me for several months now, but I am just shaking in my boots here.' Her triumph denied Briton Helena Bonham Carter, nominated for her role as Queen Elizabeth, the future Queen Mother in The King's Speech, as well as The Fighter cast-mate Amy Adams. Leo had to be bleeped by broadcasters when she swore during her acceptance speech and later apologised, saying it had been 'very inappropriate.' During his speech, Bale joked: 'I'm not going to drop the F-bomb like she did.' The Welsh-born actor said: 'What a room full of talented, inspirational people - and what am I doing in the midst of you?' He also paid tribute to his wife, whom he described as 'my mast through the storms of life.' SF spectacular Inception won four technical awards, for cinematography, visual effects, sound mixing and sound editing, while there were two for Alice in Wonderland, for art direction and costume design. The best make-up prize went to The Wolfman. Danish film In a Better World collected the best foreign language film prize. The best animated feature award went to Toy Story 3, which also picked up the best original song Oscar for 'We Belong Together.' The Lost Thing was named best animated short film. The best documentary feature Academy Award went to Inside Job, an examination of the recent global financial crisis. After collecting his award, director Charles Ferguson said: 'Forgive me, I must start by pointing out that three years after our horrific financial crisis caused by financial fraud, not a single financial executive has gone to jail - and that's wrong.' The documentary short film prize went to Strangers No More, and the live action short honour to God of Love. James Franco and Anne Hathaway hosted the eighty third Academy Awards and joked about the organisers' plans for a more youthful feel to this year's ceremony. 'You look very appealing to a younger demographic,' Hathaway told her co-host.Emily Watson has defended ITV's upcoming drama Appropriate Adult. This focuses on the period between the arrest of serial killer Fred West and his subsequent suicide.
Watson, who plays the social worker Janet Leach, has now told the Daily Torygraph that the drama is 'not nasty. It is really about the investigation and the interviews,' she said. 'It's only indirectly about what happened.' She added: 'It's handled very sensitively.' Watson's co-star Dominic West, who will play the killer, recently admitted that he found his research for the show 'disturbing.'Bishaash, a twenty four-part drama made by the BBC World Service Trust for audiences in Bangladesh, will be broadcast in the UK for the first time on Asian channel Zee TV. The drama has been given for free to Zee TV by the World Service Trust, a charitable organisation that produces content with financial help from donors including the Department for International Development as well as charitable trusts such as the Gates Foundation. It will begin broadcasting in March. Billed as south Asia's first supernatural detective series, Bishaash follows the journey of Zara, a young British-Bangladeshi woman who moves from London to Bangladesh after discovering she is the co-owner of an antique shop in Dhaka. Here, she encounters supernatural investigator Abir and his world of mystery, magic and adventure. Bishaash, featuring dialogue in Bengali and English, has already been shown to great acclaim in Bangladesh, where it regularly attracted audiences of around fourteen million viewers per episode, according to the World Service Trust. The drama also has a partner programme, BBC Janala: Mojay Mojay Shekha, which will also be aired on Zee TV.
The educational game show builds on the English used in the drama in order to help teach the language. Both programmes are part of English in Action, an initiative launched by DfID to support the economic development of Bangladesh by raising the English-language skills of twenty five million people across the country. The BBC World Service Trust's Asia director, Caroline Howie, said: 'For many British Bangladeshis the desire and need to learn English is strong, even today. This new partnership will provide an opportunity for people with low English skills to share in the unique learning experience provided by the shows.'The Broadcasting Press Guild have announced the nominations for their thirty seventh Annual Award Ceremony as mentioned in a previous blog.
This year, The Lord Thy God Steven Moffat (Thou Shalt Worship No Other Gods Before He) has been nominated for the Writer's Award for both his work on Doctor Who and alongside Mark Gatiss and Steve Thompson for Sherlock. Other nominees for this award are Jo Brand, Vicki Pepperdine and Joanna Scanlan for Getting On, and Lord Snotty Julian Fellowes for Downton Abbey. The winners will be announced at the BPG Awards lunch on 25 March at the Theatre Royal, Drury Lane.A ban on product placement has been lifted, allowing advertisers to pay for their goods to be seen on British TV. Paid-for references to products and services are now permitted for the first time in shows produced in the UK, including soaps and one-off dramas. The first product, Nestlé's Dolce Gusto, has appeared on This Morning on Monday. The Church of England and doctors' leaders have opposed the move, saying it could damage trust in broadcasters and promote unhealthy lifestyles. Under Ofcom regulations, broadcasters must inform viewers by displaying the letter P for three seconds at the start and end of any programme which contains product placement. The telecoms regulator has said any placement must be editorially justified and not unduly prominent.
It will not be allowed in news, current affairs or children's programmes - or for alcoholic drinks and foods high in salt, sugar and fat. And it will continue to be banned for BBC shows. In the United States, advertisers such as Coca-Cola and Apple pay millions of dollars to place their products in films and TV programmes. When the European Union lifted its ban on such payments, there was heated debate over whether it should be allowed in productions made in the UK. Commercial broadcasters and independent producers argued it would help to pay for programmes. The last Labour government eventually gave the go-ahead, but only after setting out strict limitations.Pregnant Holly Willoughby missed Monday's edition of This Morning, after pulling out of the previous evening's Twatting About On Ice on doctor's orders. Big fat cuddly Coleen Nolan stepped in at as a last minute as a replacement.
Co-presenter Philip Schofield said on Sunday on his Twitter account: 'So! @hollywills is suffering from migraines and has been advised by her doctor to rest. Coleen will present DOI with me tonight. Get well soon, Holly.' Willoughby's spokesman said: 'She's absolutely fine but suffered from a nasty migraine this weekend. Her doctor advised her to rest properly and she'll be back at Twatting About On Ice next week.' On Monday, Willoughby was said to be 'still too unwell' to resume presenting duties, and was replaced on that day's edition of This Morning by Ruth Langsford. But her spokesman quickly reassured fans, telling the Metro: 'Holly is fine and is just resting at home. She is hoping to be back at work tomorrow.'Howard Overman, writer and creator of E4's Misfits, will take part in a BAFTA question and answer event next month. As he prepares to shoot series three of the BAFTA award-winning show, Overman will reveal where his ideas for Misfits came from, how it's written and perhaps hint at where it's going in 2011. Illustrated with clips, the Q&A will be led by Kate Leys. The event takes places at 6.30pm on Monday 28 March, at Nottingham's Broadway Cinema. It will last approximately ninety minutes.
A second series of Sky1's action drama Strike Back has begun filming. Conceived from the novels by ex-SAS soldier Chris Ryan, a first series was broadcast in May 2010, featured a cunning mixture of 'stuff blowing up' and 'tool-stiffening violence' and starred Richard Armitage, Andrew Lincoln, Orla Brady, Shelley Conn and Colin Salmon. Jointly commissioned by Sky and HBO/Cinemax, Strike Back will increase its run from six to ten episodes for series two, with the first six episodes filmed on location across South Africa before the production moves to Hungary in the early summer.
Elaine Pyke, Sky's Head of Drama, said: 'We look forward to series twobeing even bigger and better.' Andy Harries, Executive Producer for Left Bank Pictures commented: 'Strike Back was conceived as a high octane action adventure with the scale and impact of a US series and to have HBO/Cinemax on board will turn this ambition into reality.' The second series will feature 'original storylines that run across globe-spanning settings as a former US Special Forces operative teams up with Section Twenty to stop an international terrorist group.' Two new characters will be introduced, played by American actor Philip Winchester and Australian Sullivan Stapleton.Element TV and a Scottish consortium have become the latest bidders to express an interest in taking on cthe lack of ulture secretary the vile and odious Hunt's new national TV channel for delivering local content to major British cities. The Element TV management team comprises of veterans of the TV, technology and investment industries, including senior experience at Sail TV, VBS.tv, City Channel Ireland, Chellozone, Chello Central Europe, Channel M, Channel Six (Ireland), TV3 (Ireland) and the Guardian Media Group. Oh, God. The thought of a Guardian TV channel is just too horrible to contemple. You can imagine, for instance, their award-winning comedy improv show Whose Frappuccino Is This Anyway? Or, their gritty new urban soap IslingtonEnders. Speaking about the bid, Element TV founder and chief executive Jamie Conway said that there is 'a commercially viable' future for local TV in Britain, but only if people think differently. Creating pan-national networks that opt out to short bursts of local programming provides nothing new and merely pays lip service to the concept of local broadcasting,' he said. 'Solutions and opportunities to let local businesses advertise to their local areas is as essential in creating a relevance to viewers as local programming is.' Caroline Bailes, head of 'corporate development and intelligence' at the GMG, has been appointed Element TV's director of finance and strategy. But, just before we go on, can we have a look of that job title again? There's a head of 'intelligence' at the Gruniad? Does she have 'vayz of making you tok' one wonders? Bailes was recently involved in putting together the business plan for Channel M, the local TV channel serving Manchester. She said: 'The Channel M project proved beyond doubt that there is a healthy appetite for local TV in this country from both viewers and advertisers. The network model that we propose will allow local channels to flourish in a way that was previously impossible. The future really is bright for local TV.' Last year, Element TV met with Nicholas Shott's independent television panel, which submitted an investigation report to the vile and odious Hunt in December, along with media regulator Ofcom and the vile and odious Hunt's Department for Culture, Media and Sport. The vile and odious Hunt wants bidders to submit proposals by tomorrow for providing the channel on Freeview, which would have a national schedule but enable local operators to 'opt out' in certain areas to deliver local shows and adverts. Element TV said that its 'exhaustive research' into both audience and local business demands has produced a sustainable model for local TV. Alongside the TV channel, Element would also focus on the delivery of content across mobile, IPTV and video on-demand platforms. It has already formed strategic partnerships with technology companies in those areas. The vile and odious Hunt believes that local TV is commercially viable in between ten to twelve major cities, but Element claims to have 'developed the ability to provide support and broadcast solutions that will allow towns and villages to launch their own TV services in ways that could never have been considered before. Providing on-the-hour local news, events, sport and weather is something that has never really been considered before' said Conway. 'A thirty-minute evening news bulletin covering thousands of square miles was fine for the 1950s, but people today want information that is relevant to them and they want it regularly. We propose to make sure that viewers are never more than thirty minutes away from a local bulletin of news, weather, sport and local information throughout the day.' David McCormack, Element TV head of operations, added: 'The technological advancements of the past two years alone means that getting pictures onto people’s screens is cheaper than ever without any loss of quality or production values. We're proposing to let channels flourish in smaller areas by letting them focus on content creation and we'll take care of all the backhaul and broadcasting issues that would ordinarily destroy their balance sheets.' Also vying for the local TV channel is a consortium of Scottish campaigners hoping to create a new network covering the whole of Scotland. The group, led by Institute of Local TV campaigner David Rushton, wants to establish eight main local stations in Scotland, catering for audiences ranging from one hundred and forty thousand people in Perth & Kinross to three quarters of a million in Glasgow & Clyde. A further six local stations would cover the Highlands and Islands running from the Shetlands to the Western Isles, producing local news and other programming. The strategy would dovetail with plans already put forward for the creation of a new Scotland-wide digital channel to operate outside of the BBC and STV. Element TV and the Scottish Network join former ITV News editor Nigel Dacre and Welsh independent production company Tinopolis in expressing an interest in the channel, along with Richard Horwood's Channel Six group and the Local Television Network, led by Greg Dyke.
Bob Dylan's former girlfriend Suze Rotolo, the inspiration for some of the singer's best love songs, has died at the age of sixty seven. Rotolo also appeared with Dylan on the iconic cover of his 1963 breakthrough LP The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan. She inspired such songs as 'Don't Think Twice, It's All Right', 'Boots of Spanish Leather' and 'Tomorrow Is a Long Time.' And, their break-up was behind several of the songs on 1964's Another Side of Bob Dylan, most notably 'It Ain't Me Babe' and the bitter 'Ballad in Plain D.' Her friend and Village Voice critic Jim Hoberman wrote that she died in her New York apartment 'and the arms of her husband of forty years, Enzo Bartoccioli.'
Dylan met Rotolo, then aged seventeen, after a gig in 1961 and the couple stayed together for the next three years enjoying a sometimes tempestuous relationship that included several periods apart. Dylan later wrote that meeting her 'was like stepping into the tales of 1,001 Arabian Nights,' adding: 'She had a smile that could light up a street full of people. A Rodin sculpture come to life.' Rotolo, who worked in a variety of roles in the civil rights movement and whose political views were widely regarded as having triggered Dylan's own topical songwriting, went on to become an artist and teacher. She also wrote a very affectionate and amusing memoir of life in Greenwich Village in the 1960s, A Freewheelin' Time, which was published in 2008 and appeared in Martin Scorsese's 2005 Dylan documtnary No Direction Home. She is survived by her husband, Enzo and son, Luca.Reports that England defender Ashley Cole - yes, Cheryl's ex-bloke - shot a man at Moscow Chelski's training ground in Surrey are to be investigated, police have said. The News of the World reported on Sunday that a twenty one-year-old man had been hit by a lead pellet fired from an air rifle belonging to Cole. Chelski issued a statement saying that the matter had been investigated and 'appropriate action' is being taken. Surrey Police said no allegation had been made but they will contact the club to see if an offence had occurred. According to reports (see left), Tom Cowan - a sports sciences student who is on a work placement with Chelsea - was treated by the club's medical staff at the training facility in Cobham and did not require hospital treatment. A spokesman for Surrey Police said:
'We can confirm that while no direct allegation has been made. The matter has been brought to our attention through reports in the media and we will be contacting the club in due course to establish whether any criminal offence has been committed.' The statement from the club said: 'We have fully investigated the incident and we are taking appropriate action. We will not be commenting further as it is an internal matter.' Cole, recently became the most capped full-back in English history and was named the England squad's player of the year in 2010 despite the fact that for much of his career he was seen by many in the game as a nasty little cheat who often feigned injury to get fellow professionals sent off.Occasionally, this blog gets vistors who've arrived through the most curious of routes. This weekend, for instance, a From The North piece from last October which included a review of the Armonstrong & Miller Show episode featuring A-ha's Morten Harket was, seemingly, viewed by someone who'd arrived via a Google search for 'spanking morten harket bare botom' [sic]. Sorry, mate. Not my particular bag, that one. But, I'm sure there will be a specialsit website out there, somewhere. Good luck with your search, my friend.
And, so to yer actual Keith Telly Topping's 45 of the Day. Well, in honour of yesterday's stunning cricket match between England and India it was going to be this. Queue the trumpets.
But, on further reflection, and in tribute to the late Suze Rotolo, I suppose I'd really better make it this one instead. (Yes, I know it's the Johnny Cash version, but you try finding a version of it by Bob on You Tube, dear blog reader! Be fair, I could've gone for the Elvis version! Or, the Chet Atkins version for that matter.)
Seems fitting, really. 
