We start the latest batch of yer Top Telly News with a news item that isn't, actually, Top Telly News per se. 
But Keith Telly Topping found it rather amusing and since he is very much the chap in charge of this 'ere blog, dear reader, it's in. An eighteen-year-old yoof has secretly painted a sixty foot drawing of a phallus (complete with - rather small - scrotum) on the roof of his parents' one million pound mansion in Berkshire. It was there for over a year before his parents found out. They say he'll have to scrub it off when he gets back from travelling. Busted!
Right, now on with the proper Top Telly News.
Jeremy Clarkson had more than a few Top Gear fans worried on Sunday night when he closed the show with the words, 'This feels like an ending.' The comment followed a - quite beautiful - filmed tribute to the V12 Aston Martin Vantage, but some viewers took it as a coded message that the gas-guzzling BBC2 favourite was about to take the key out of the ignition for the last time. The Internet was flooded with queries about whether that really was the final curtain for the show despite the fact that it had already been announced filming was already underway for the next series, due to show on the BBC later in the year. However, all you petrolheads, you need fret no longer. The show will return - and will keep returning - unless Jezza 'gets struck by a giant meteorite or spontaneously combusts,' according to the big man himself. 'I can assure everyone I'll be back in November doing Top Gear,' he tells the Sun. 'We're filming the next series and already have several episodes in the can. I couldn't think of anything I'd want to do more.' Queue a plethora of stroppy grumbling from various lippy scum individuals with a variety of perfectly sinister political agendas on the Gruniad and Daily Mail websites. Good. I'm glad. I hope it makes the lot of you even more miserable than you already are. And, once again, isn't it interesting to see two newspapers whose politics couldn't be further apart uniting in the common cause their mutual loathing of a programme made by the BBC? It's just like ebony and ivory together on Paul McCartney's piano. Slightly sickening and hugely painful to the ear.
BBC2's airing of the Oscar-winning documentary Man On Wire was watched by an average of just over two million (9.5% share) viewers on Sunday at 9pm, following immediately after Top Gear. The ninety-minute story of Philippe Petit's daring – and extremely illegal – hire-wire routine between New York's Twin Towers in 1974 proved no match for Rivers with Griff Rhys Jones, however, which delivered an average audience of 5.2m (22.7%) in the hour-long 9pm slot.
UK viewers have set a new record for watching commercial TV viewing an average of 16.7 hours each week for the first six months of the year. The report from TV marketing body Thinkbox also showed that viewers saw an average forty three adverts daily – a two per cent rise year-on-year – equating to just under two and a half billion television ads being viewed each day across the country. According to BARB figures, total broadcast TV viewing in 2009 until the end of June was 26.2 hours, almost identical year-on-year but an increase of eighteen minutes since 2004, said the report. But the weekly average viewing of UK commercial TV was up nearly ten minutes year-on-year. Commercial TV accounted for 63.7% of total broadcast viewing – a growth of three per cent in the past five years – for the first six months of the year, with the remainder watching the BBC. Factors behind the increase are credit conscious people staying at home more in the recession and new technologies which 'magnetise' viewers to their living rooms, the report said. BARB figures do not include programmes watched on digital platforms like BBC iPlayer or ITV Player, which could push the figure even higher.
ITV is locked in eleventh-hour negotiations to offload Friends Reunited, with discussions focusing largely on the profitable Genes Reunited element of the business – thought to be attractive to a major international genealogy company. The broadcaster is striving to get a deal in place before it presents its results for the first half of 2009 later today. A press release is understood to have been drafted and is ready to go if a deal can be finalised – with negotiations coming right down to the wire.
While a straight cash sale, at a bottom-end price of fifteen million pounds to entrepreneur Peter Dubens, was tipped last month, it is also thought that other options include ITV retaining an equity stake that could allow it to earn more if full control of the business is taken over by a buyer when financial markets improve. Such a deal, which has not been ruled out but is considered a longer shot than an all-cash deal, could see Friends Reunited ultimately sell for significantly more than fifteen million. Some sources believe it could raise double that sum depending on the structure of a deal and performance targets.
Update(!): The Gruniad are reporting that ITV have sold Friends Reunited to Brightsolid, a subsidiary of Beano and Dandy publisher DC Thomson, for twenty five million smackers. The deal was, apparently, concluded around 5 A.M. this morning.
Comedian Leigh Francis is to bring back Bo Selecta for a one-off Michael Jackson special, Channel 4 has announced. Bo Selecta Presents Cha'Mone: A Tribute to Michael Jackson will be a spoof 'chronological look at Michael Jackson's life.'
Francis will don rubber masks to portray Jackson as well as some of his friends - including Uri Geller and David Gest - for the one-hour special. There will also be celebrity guests on the show, due to air on E4 this autumn. 'We're thrilled to have Leigh resurrect Bo Selecta for a very special send-off and send-up,' said E4 controller Angela Jain. 'This national treasure and icon will be making an affectionate and, no doubt, hilarious tribute.' Hilarious, I can well believe. But 'affectionate'?! God, I hope not. Francis said Jackson's death was 'like the death of superman, or the realisation that there was no such thing as Santa Claus.' Francis' spoof version of Jackson was featured throughout the three series of the cult comedy sketch show, which ran from 2002 to 2004. The show also featured surreal send-ups of stars including the Proper Bo Craaaaaayg Dayyyyvid (he wets the bed, apparently), Will Young and former Spice Girls singer Mel B.
The BBC says its decision to change dancer Karen Hardy's role on Strictly Come Dancing has 'absolutely nothing to do with age.'
Recent reports claimed the thirty nine-year-old was being replaced by younger dancers. The BBC said it was a 'mutual decision' to end Hardy's tenure as a dancer. The star said she was 'discussing new ways' to be part of the show. The Latin American specialist won the fourth series of Strictly with her partner, the cricketer Mark Ramprakash in 2006. In a statement, Hardy said she was also looking at 'a number of exciting projects and opportunities that have come my way.' Meanwhile, bloody Harriet Harman got herself involved in the Strictly-ageism row the week before last. 
Labour's Deputy Leader and Equalities Minister made her remarks during Commons questions - before encouraging the corporation to reinstate Arlene Phillips on the show's panel. 'I think it's absolutely shocking that Arlene Phillips is not going to be a judge on Strictly Come Dancing.' I ask again, as I do every single time some rent-a-quote politician seeks to interfere in matters that are absolutely none of their concern, don't you have anything more important to spend your time on Harriet? You know, like failing to run the country properly or speaking to some of your colleagues about these outrageous expenses claims they've been making? Remember those? Or, maybe, it might be an idea for Hatty to start preparing for her forthcoming election landslide defeat and - potentially - spending the rest of her political life in the wilderness of opposition? Stick to doing your own job - badly - and leave TV previewing to the professionals. Like me.
Meanwhile in a related development, Alan Yentob has generated a lively debate after giving an interview to the Evening Standard, in which he defended the BBC over expenses claims and hit back against interference in its decision making by politicians. Well, it's about time frankly. It's about time somebody at the BBC at a senior level stood up for the corportion, its products and its staff from crass and ill-informed criticism instead of bending over, meekly, and asking to be kicked up the arse yet again by those lice at the Daily Mail for the dreadful crime of trying to entertain people.
Yentob said that he was particularly dismayed both the Culture Secretary, Ben Bradshaw, and Harriet Harman had joined the controversy over the departure of Arlene Phillips from Strictly Come Dancing. 'Do I think it's the job of ministers to decide who is cast in TV shows?' the BBC's Creative Director asked. 'Everybody around the building would like to be the person who decides who goes on this show or that show. Maybe Ben Bradshaw and Harriet Harman are no different from anybody else.' Indeed - they're both soon to be unemployed so, in that regard, they're just like everybody else. As for Harman's call to the BBC to have more women on screen, Yentob replied: 'There are more influential, empowered women at the top of the organisation than in any other organisation of its size and influence in Britain.' He forgot to add 'including the cabinet,' though I bet he was itching to do so. So, I'll do it for him. Alan wasn't mincing any words over Bradshaw's support for top slicing the licence fee either. 'He misunderstands the arguments' Yentob believes. 'They are about the integrity of the licence fee and the independence of the BBC.' Yentob was similarly forthright when it came to the issue of expenses claimed by senior BBC managers. Presents of flowers, champagne and chocolates, given by executives to talent, were described as 'small gifts to benefit the organisation' and are not, in his view, 'intemperate.' He is aware however of how such spending looks to other people. 'It doesn’t look good and we're aware of it. After what everybody has been through, there will be a lot less gifts being given.' The interview brought a mixed response from readers of the Standard. 'Good for Yentob,' says one post on the paper's website. 'The BBC is wonderful value for money.' Others are less complimentary, calling Yentob 'arrogant' and out of touch. One contributor suggests that Yentob, who has been with the BBC for more than forty years, should be sacked 'and let him work in Starbucks.' Well, why not - that's probably where Harriet and Ben are going to end up after the next election?
The people of Middlesbrough were not unfairly treated by Channel 4 programme Location, Location, Location, which branded the town the worst place to live in the UK, Ofcom has ruled. Middlesbrough's mayor Ray Mallon filed a complaint on behalf of the city about an edition of the property show that drew attention to high levels of crime and ill health.
He claimed Middlesbrough had been unfairly treated and that its council had not been given an opportunity to contribute to the programme. But Ofcom rejected the complaint, arguing that the programme used reliable statistics fairly to back up its claims. In the programme, Location, Location, Location: Best and Worst Live 2007, presenters Kirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer revealed that Middlesbrough had come bottom of its survey of the best places to live in the UK. Allsopp said Middlesbrough had 'critical health levels, double the English average of drug abuse, eight per cent more smokers than the English average and over a quarter of the inhabitants admitted to binge drinking.' Spencer added: 'Ninety per cent of the residents never exercise and few eat healthily … robbery, burglary, sexual assault, violent crimes and car theft are all more than twice the UK average.' Yeah, that sounds exactly like the 'Boro I know, dunno about anyone else? The programme – broadcast on 17 October 2007 – also included live interviews with Middlesbrough residents who defended their city and mentioned that the council had installed 'the first ever talking CCTV.' Ofcom said it was not unfair for the programme to have included 'details about smoking, drug misuse and physical exercise in the area' and used images of obese people. Nor was it unfair to have used of shots of derelict buildings to illustrate the programme's thesis, the watchdog added. Mallon – who was elected mayor in 2002 after a police career that earned him the nickname 'Robocop' – said his decision to make a formal complaint on Middlesbrough's behalf had been vindicated. Really? How's that, Ray? Explain please, in simple layman terms and using graphs if necessary, how a total rejection of your whiny complaints are, in any way, 'a vindication.' Quite why Ofcom felt the need to investigate this quite spurious and ludicrous complaint in the first place rather than tell a Smoggie drama queen to stop wasting their time is, tragically, unknown. Victim Culture in the Twenty First Century, dear blog reader - everything is someone else's fault it would seem.
BBC
newsreader George Alagiah has resigned as a patron of the Fairtrade Foundation over concerns of a potential conflict of interest. Writing in the charity's magazine, he said 'senior colleagues at the BBC' had decided that the unpaid position was 'no longer compatible' with his job. There were concerns that the role 'could undermine my impartiality' when reporting on Fairtrade food, he added. A spokesperson for the charity said: 'We are extremely disappointed.' The spokesperson added that no 'formal explanation' had been given about the decision.
The BBC have announced that The ONE Show is set to be extended. After successfully trialling a sixty-minute format of the show in May, the series, which usually runs at thirty minutes, will include an hour-long show every week from September to the end of the year.
The sixty-minute shows will include a raft of new features, celebrating lives, landscapes and stories from all around the UK. BBC1 also announced that The ONE Show's presenters, Christine Bleakley and Adrian Chiles, will be taking what they describe as a 'well-deserved fortnight's holiday' in August. The channel is 'delighted to be welcoming some of the country's most popular presenters to stand in during their absence.' Gloria Hunniford and Gethin Jones take the helm from Monday 17 to Friday 21 August. They will be followed by John Sergeant who will join forces with Myleene Klass, from Monday 24 to Friday 28 August.
ABC's Romantically Challenged is reportedly close to receiving a series order.
According to The Hollywood Reporter, the pilot starring Charmed's Alyssa Milano, may be picked up for thirteen episodes. The comedy, which is being considered for midseason, centres on a thirtysomething man who is torn between his girlfriend (Milano) and his needy best friend. ABC recently greenlit four new comedies - Cougar Town, Modern Family, The Middle and Hank - which are due to premiere this Fall.
BBC1 has doubled the run for the second series of Jimmy McGovern's daytime drama Moving On. BBC daytime controller Liam Keelan has ordered ten further episodes for spring 2010, following the initial five-part order. The Liverpool-set series will again be written by a combination of new and established writers, who will be mentored by McGovern. The series, which features stand-alone stories linked by a theme of how to move on in life, attracted a record BBC1 daytime audience of 1.6m when it debuted in May. It attracted actors such as Shelia Hancock, Richard Armitage, Lesley Sharp, Mark Womack, Dervla Kerwin and Ian Hart. Colin McKeown, who produces the show through his LA Productions, said: 'The audience feedback for the first series was phenomenal, with huge appreciation for the quality of the drama as part of the BBC daytime schedule. The series represented an opportunity to blend high-profile experienced talent both on and off the screen, with upcoming writers and directors. Any drama series is only as good as its screenplay, and to have Jimmy McGovern as the writers' mentor ensures the highest quality of writing which in turn attracts the highest quality of cast. We believe that series two is going push this quality bar even further.'
Sky1 has commissioned a new series about obese families in Britain, it has been announced.
The six hour-long episodes of Fat Families will see 'fat loss expert' Steve Miller moving into the homes of different families in an attempt to help them lose weight. Sky1's Emma Reid said of the series: 'Steve is a no-nonsense expert who will say 'bollocks' to the endless excuses of our fat families as he transforms the 'fatties' into 'fitties'. Over the years, Steve has heard every excuse in the cookbook, but he will break their bad habits and create a radical regime that will transform their lives forever.' Yet more food fascism for you, dear blog reader. It'll be concentration camps next, mark my words. So, this viewer - fat and proud of it - says 'bollocks' to Steve and his 'no-nonsense expertise' and expressed the sincere hope that the show gets an audience of Steve and Emma alone. Unlikey - they'll probably get their mums to watch too.
CBS entertainment president Nina Tassler has revealed that there are changes ahead for CSI. The Hollywood Reporter quotes her as saying that CBS has spent time talking to fans about the future of the show. Oh dear, that's seldom a good sign. 'Nick [Stokes] is going to get promoted. Sara [Sidle] is coming back for the first five episodes. You're going to see Fishburne more settled in his role - a more leadership capacity,' she said. 'He's more versed in the language of CSI, he's had a little bit of a wardrobe makeover. Our research said they wanted to see him more comfortable in his clothes. We think they're going to be happy with what they see.' CBS recently announced that CSI will return for its tenth season on Thursday, September 24.
Darlow Smithson is to revisit the 9/11 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Centre with a feature-length examination of the calls that victims made to their families in their final moments. 9/11: Phone Calls From The Towers [working title] will feature recordings of calls made by people trapped in the towers, many of them previously unbroadcast. It will also include home movies and testimonies from the surviving family members, who reveal how the recordings have helped them come to terms with their loss. The ninety-minute documentary will air on Channel 4 around the eighth anniversary of the attacks this autumn as a Cutting Edge special.
It is directed by James Kent, a documentary and drama director who recently helmed the BBC's Thatcher biopic drama Margaret. The producer is Natalie Burke and the executive producer is Darlow Smithson chief creative director John Smithson. Smithson, who also executive produced the company's earlier documentary 9/11: Falling Man, said: 'This film highlights humanity at its best. The phone calls revealed for the first time in this film don't convey the panic and fear felt by millions, but the love and dignity that they held on to. Darlow Smithson feels proud to have produced a testimony to those whose lives were lost and to bring it to a wide audience.' C4 deputy head of documentaries Simon Dickson, who ordered the film, added: 'The messages are an incredibly moving testament to the memories of the people who died in the Twin Towers and reveal the dignity, courage, humanity and love shown at the worst of times. And the victims’ families, who have co-operated in the making of the film and provided most of the recordings, talk heartbreakingly about speaking to their loved ones for the final time as they watched powerless as the disaster unfolded on TV. The messages are, of course, a double-edged legacy – there is only a recording because someone missed the call, but as a result the families have something concrete to turn to for comfort. They have helped some of the families to move on, while others still find the emotions incredibly raw. And the messages prompt us all to ponder whether, faced with such a terrible situation, we could act with such courage and compassion.'
Former Casualty star Martina Laird has landed a role in Channel 4's Shameless, according to a report. The actress, who played paramedic Comfort Jones on the BBC medical drama, is expected to start filming her new role as brothel owner Michelle later this month. Michelle has been tipped to cause chaos on the Chatsworth estate by recruiting its male residents to work as gigolos. It is believed that Jamie Maguire (Aaron McCusker) is the first character to accept her offer, with his brothers and friends later following suit. A source told the Sun: 'Shameless has always been raunchy, but Aaron's scenes are steamy beyond belief. It's going to turn the show on its head.'
Channel 4 is to drop the scrapheap from Scrapheap Challenge in a bid to slash costs on the long-running show.
The series, produced by RDF Television West, has also axed its long-standing presenters Robert Llewellyn and Lisa Rogers, and will replace them with ex-contestant Dick Strawbridge, who subsequently became the show's engineering expert and a presenter on Planet Mechanics, It's Not Easy Being Green, Coast and Geronimo. For the past ten series Scrapheap Challenge has tasked contestants with engineering feats – such as building giant catapults or underwater cars – on the site of a giant, permanent, central head of scrap. However, the eleventh series will alter the format so that contestants build their machines at homes over the course of a month, with four hundred and fifty pounds to pay for scrap which they source themselves from different places.
E4 has reportedly commissioned a third series of The Inbetweeners. According to The Guardian, the series - which stars Simon Bird, James Buckley, Joe Thomas and Blake Harrison - will return in 2010. Head of E4 Angela Jain said of the show: '[It has] some of the most beautifully crafted puerile and funny jokes ever seen on British television but also moments of crushing heartbreak, which are all testament to the brilliance of the writing and acting.' Earlier this year, the second series made a strong start in the ratings, drawing almost one million viewers in its opening episode.
Axed Strictly Come Dancing judge Arlene Phillips may snub the BBC's offer of work on The ONE Show, a report has claimed. The sixty six-year-old choreographer was unveiled as the programme's new Strictly expert last month after being dropped from the main show in favour of pop star Alesha Dixon. Phillips had been expected to appear for regular interviews with main hosts Adrian Chiles and Christine Bleakley, offering her insight into the weekly performances. However, a source told the News Of The World: 'Arlene has made no commitment to the BBC. They've been desperate to sign her up to do a Strictly commentary spot on The ONE Show and Breakfast. But she's considering her future and a lot of new TV offers - including ITV shows - that have been flooding in now people know she's back on the market.' The insider added: 'At the time she agreed in principle to do The ONE Show but she hasn't agreed any deal and right now everyone else wants her, too. She's going to have to consider a lot.'
BBC sports editor Mihir Bose has quit the corporation after two-and-a-half years. Bose, who took up the post in January 2007, contributed to news bulletins and the Inside Sport show.
Prior to joining the BBC, he worked at the Daily Telegraph for more than ten years and the Sunday Times for twenty years prior to that, as well as broadcasting on television and radio. Bose, who was born in India before moving to the UK to go to university, started his journalistic career at London radio station LBC. He has also written numerous books, including A History Of Indian Cricket and Sporting Colours which looked at sport and apartheid. A BBC spokeswoman confirmed: 'He has resigned for personal reasons.'
John Barrowman has revealed that he is in talks for a role in Desperate Housewives.
The Torchwood actor confirmed yesterday that he will soon jet off to the States for meetings with the ABC show's producers. Speaking on Radio1, he explained: 'I'm off to Los Angeles on Sunday again. I probably shouldn't say this but I've got a meeting with the execs of Desperate Housewives.' Meanwhile, it was announced earlier this week that Jesse Metcalfe will be returning to his role of John Rowland in the new season.
Sky Sports1 has escaped a fine from regulator Ofcom over phone vote errors on Soccer AM and Cricket AM.
The first complaint relates to Republic of Ireland viewers who entered the Calypso Cricket competition on 2 August 2008. The texts were charged at twenty five pence plus the standard network rate for viewers in the UK, and thirty five cents plus the standard the network rate for viewers in the ROI. However, due to a technical fault, competition entries submitted by viewers in the ROI had not been registered. Sky admitted that the entries received were not registered by Cricket AM at the time and were therefore not counted. Ofcom further found that during the episodes of Soccer AM broadcast on 13 December 2008 and 3 January 2009, the votes of viewers from the ROI for the Tyne/Wear Dance-Off had not been counted by the software system. Although Sky did not make any financial gain itself, the satellite broadcaster apologised to all the viewers who voted by text and promised them they would receive a refund.
Kevin Bishop has claimed that making jokes about Michael Jackson or Jade Goody are 'off limits.' The comic, whose sketch show returned to Channel 4 last week, said that he believed that there should always be some restrictions on the targets of humour.
'I'm not going to do a sketch about Jade Goody, Michael Jackson and Maddie McCann,' he told the BBC. 'Those sort of things aren't really funny. People aren't going to laugh at that, so there are some things that are off limits. We don't want to make people feel sick. I think the secret to making a show that everyone likes is making the person who you're taking the mickey out of laugh as well.' Bishop also insisted that he doesn't deliberately aim to offend with his celebrity parodies, claiming that sketches only make the cut if they are of high quality. 'We have an obligation to ourselves when something is funny and makes us laugh,' he added. 'It's got to go in the show otherwise we're not being true to ourselves.'
The Channel 4 News technology correspondant, Benjamin Cohen, broke the news yesterday on his Twitter page that following what he described as a 'grim staff meeting', News at Noon and More4 News had both been cancelled. The latter's anchor, Alex Thomson, also commented with a terse; 'Sad news. We are slump victims like so many others out there.'
One of TV chef Jamie Oliver's subsidiary companies has made an increased profit of £6.8m last year, up eighty two per cent year-on-year, due in part to strong international sales of his television series overseas. The figures, due to be presented to Companies House later this month, will reveal that pre-tax profits at Jamie Oliver Holdings, part of the Jamie Oliver Group, increased from £3,738,450 in 2007 to £6,807,840 in 2008. With Oliver's salary as a director on top, it means his pay for the year was in the region of one million poinds. There are, simply, no words ...
The BBC is to overhaul its local TV and radio services as an alternative to its rejected proposal for on-demand local video news services.
In February, the BBC Trust rejected the executive’s plan for the online video service, ruling that there was inadequate public value generated by the proposal and that the likely public value did not outweigh potential negative market impact. The new proposals are based instead on the BBC's existing linear services, and are designed to improve the quality and depth of news provision in the nations and regions and deliver more effectively the BBC's citizenship and community purposes.
And, lastly, we don't often do this but I am occasionally asked exactly what TV shows gets what in the ratings. I thought, therefore, it might be a good idea one in a while to take one week at random for reference purposes. So, here are the official BARB TV ratings for week ending 26th July 2009:-
Most watched programmes of the week
1 - 9.56m - Coronation Street (Mon 20:29, ITV1)
2 - 8.47m - EastEnders (Mon, BBC1)
3 - 7.69m - Top Gear (Sun, BBC2)
4 - 7.59m - New Tricks (Thu, BBC1)
5 - 6.92m - Emmerdale (Thu 20:00, ITV1)
6 - 6.14m - Midsomer Murders (Wed, ITV1)
7 - 5.74m - The Street (Mon, BBC1)
8 - 5.72m - Casualty (Sat, BBC1)
9 - 5.42m - Holby City (Tue, BBC1)
10- 5.23m - Who Do You Think You Are? (Wed, BBC1)
Alternative Chart (BBC2, Channel 4, Five)
1 - 7.69m - Top Gear (Sun, BBC2)
2 - 3.47m - On This Ice (Sun, BBC2)
3 - 3.34m - Coast (Tue, BBC2)
4 - 3.34m - Dragon's Den (Tue, BBC2)
5 - 2.97m - CSI Miami (Tue, Five)
6 - 2.82m - Mock The Week (Thu, BBC2)
7 - 2.72m - University Challenge (Mon, BBC2)
8 - 2.61m - Desperate Romantics (Tue, BBC2)
9 - 2.56m - Rick Stein's Far Eastern Odessey (Thu, BBC2)
10- 2.47m - Big Brother (Tue, C4)
Multichannels
1 - 1.05m - House Season 5 (Sun, Sky 1)
2 - 0.91m - Film: The Pacifier (Sat, BBC3)
3 - 0.91m - Family Guy (Sun, BBC3)
4 - 0.88m - EastEnders (Thu, BBC3)
5 - 0.85m - Come Dine with Me (Sun, More4)
6 - 0.84m - Live at the Apollo (Sat, BBC3)
7 - 0.78m - Underage and Pregnant (Mon, BBC3)
8 - 0.70m - Baby Beauty Queens (Mon, BBC3)
9 - 0.67m - Sir Bobby Robson Trophy Live (Sun, ITV4)
10- 0.66m - Lie To Me Season 1 (Thu, Sky 1)
But Keith Telly Topping found it rather amusing and since he is very much the chap in charge of this 'ere blog, dear reader, it's in. An eighteen-year-old yoof has secretly painted a sixty foot drawing of a phallus (complete with - rather small - scrotum) on the roof of his parents' one million pound mansion in Berkshire. It was there for over a year before his parents found out. They say he'll have to scrub it off when he gets back from travelling. Busted!Right, now on with the proper Top Telly News.
Jeremy Clarkson had more than a few Top Gear fans worried on Sunday night when he closed the show with the words, 'This feels like an ending.' The comment followed a - quite beautiful - filmed tribute to the V12 Aston Martin Vantage, but some viewers took it as a coded message that the gas-guzzling BBC2 favourite was about to take the key out of the ignition for the last time. The Internet was flooded with queries about whether that really was the final curtain for the show despite the fact that it had already been announced filming was already underway for the next series, due to show on the BBC later in the year. However, all you petrolheads, you need fret no longer. The show will return - and will keep returning - unless Jezza 'gets struck by a giant meteorite or spontaneously combusts,' according to the big man himself. 'I can assure everyone I'll be back in November doing Top Gear,' he tells the Sun. 'We're filming the next series and already have several episodes in the can. I couldn't think of anything I'd want to do more.' Queue a plethora of stroppy grumbling from various lippy scum individuals with a variety of perfectly sinister political agendas on the Gruniad and Daily Mail websites. Good. I'm glad. I hope it makes the lot of you even more miserable than you already are. And, once again, isn't it interesting to see two newspapers whose politics couldn't be further apart uniting in the common cause their mutual loathing of a programme made by the BBC? It's just like ebony and ivory together on Paul McCartney's piano. Slightly sickening and hugely painful to the ear.
BBC2's airing of the Oscar-winning documentary Man On Wire was watched by an average of just over two million (9.5% share) viewers on Sunday at 9pm, following immediately after Top Gear. The ninety-minute story of Philippe Petit's daring – and extremely illegal – hire-wire routine between New York's Twin Towers in 1974 proved no match for Rivers with Griff Rhys Jones, however, which delivered an average audience of 5.2m (22.7%) in the hour-long 9pm slot.UK viewers have set a new record for watching commercial TV viewing an average of 16.7 hours each week for the first six months of the year. The report from TV marketing body Thinkbox also showed that viewers saw an average forty three adverts daily – a two per cent rise year-on-year – equating to just under two and a half billion television ads being viewed each day across the country. According to BARB figures, total broadcast TV viewing in 2009 until the end of June was 26.2 hours, almost identical year-on-year but an increase of eighteen minutes since 2004, said the report. But the weekly average viewing of UK commercial TV was up nearly ten minutes year-on-year. Commercial TV accounted for 63.7% of total broadcast viewing – a growth of three per cent in the past five years – for the first six months of the year, with the remainder watching the BBC. Factors behind the increase are credit conscious people staying at home more in the recession and new technologies which 'magnetise' viewers to their living rooms, the report said. BARB figures do not include programmes watched on digital platforms like BBC iPlayer or ITV Player, which could push the figure even higher.
ITV is locked in eleventh-hour negotiations to offload Friends Reunited, with discussions focusing largely on the profitable Genes Reunited element of the business – thought to be attractive to a major international genealogy company. The broadcaster is striving to get a deal in place before it presents its results for the first half of 2009 later today. A press release is understood to have been drafted and is ready to go if a deal can be finalised – with negotiations coming right down to the wire.
While a straight cash sale, at a bottom-end price of fifteen million pounds to entrepreneur Peter Dubens, was tipped last month, it is also thought that other options include ITV retaining an equity stake that could allow it to earn more if full control of the business is taken over by a buyer when financial markets improve. Such a deal, which has not been ruled out but is considered a longer shot than an all-cash deal, could see Friends Reunited ultimately sell for significantly more than fifteen million. Some sources believe it could raise double that sum depending on the structure of a deal and performance targets.Update(!): The Gruniad are reporting that ITV have sold Friends Reunited to Brightsolid, a subsidiary of Beano and Dandy publisher DC Thomson, for twenty five million smackers. The deal was, apparently, concluded around 5 A.M. this morning.
Comedian Leigh Francis is to bring back Bo Selecta for a one-off Michael Jackson special, Channel 4 has announced. Bo Selecta Presents Cha'Mone: A Tribute to Michael Jackson will be a spoof 'chronological look at Michael Jackson's life.'
Francis will don rubber masks to portray Jackson as well as some of his friends - including Uri Geller and David Gest - for the one-hour special. There will also be celebrity guests on the show, due to air on E4 this autumn. 'We're thrilled to have Leigh resurrect Bo Selecta for a very special send-off and send-up,' said E4 controller Angela Jain. 'This national treasure and icon will be making an affectionate and, no doubt, hilarious tribute.' Hilarious, I can well believe. But 'affectionate'?! God, I hope not. Francis said Jackson's death was 'like the death of superman, or the realisation that there was no such thing as Santa Claus.' Francis' spoof version of Jackson was featured throughout the three series of the cult comedy sketch show, which ran from 2002 to 2004. The show also featured surreal send-ups of stars including the Proper Bo Craaaaaayg Dayyyyvid (he wets the bed, apparently), Will Young and former Spice Girls singer Mel B.The BBC says its decision to change dancer Karen Hardy's role on Strictly Come Dancing has 'absolutely nothing to do with age.'
Recent reports claimed the thirty nine-year-old was being replaced by younger dancers. The BBC said it was a 'mutual decision' to end Hardy's tenure as a dancer. The star said she was 'discussing new ways' to be part of the show. The Latin American specialist won the fourth series of Strictly with her partner, the cricketer Mark Ramprakash in 2006. In a statement, Hardy said she was also looking at 'a number of exciting projects and opportunities that have come my way.' Meanwhile, bloody Harriet Harman got herself involved in the Strictly-ageism row the week before last. 
Labour's Deputy Leader and Equalities Minister made her remarks during Commons questions - before encouraging the corporation to reinstate Arlene Phillips on the show's panel. 'I think it's absolutely shocking that Arlene Phillips is not going to be a judge on Strictly Come Dancing.' I ask again, as I do every single time some rent-a-quote politician seeks to interfere in matters that are absolutely none of their concern, don't you have anything more important to spend your time on Harriet? You know, like failing to run the country properly or speaking to some of your colleagues about these outrageous expenses claims they've been making? Remember those? Or, maybe, it might be an idea for Hatty to start preparing for her forthcoming election landslide defeat and - potentially - spending the rest of her political life in the wilderness of opposition? Stick to doing your own job - badly - and leave TV previewing to the professionals. Like me.Meanwhile in a related development, Alan Yentob has generated a lively debate after giving an interview to the Evening Standard, in which he defended the BBC over expenses claims and hit back against interference in its decision making by politicians. Well, it's about time frankly. It's about time somebody at the BBC at a senior level stood up for the corportion, its products and its staff from crass and ill-informed criticism instead of bending over, meekly, and asking to be kicked up the arse yet again by those lice at the Daily Mail for the dreadful crime of trying to entertain people.
Yentob said that he was particularly dismayed both the Culture Secretary, Ben Bradshaw, and Harriet Harman had joined the controversy over the departure of Arlene Phillips from Strictly Come Dancing. 'Do I think it's the job of ministers to decide who is cast in TV shows?' the BBC's Creative Director asked. 'Everybody around the building would like to be the person who decides who goes on this show or that show. Maybe Ben Bradshaw and Harriet Harman are no different from anybody else.' Indeed - they're both soon to be unemployed so, in that regard, they're just like everybody else. As for Harman's call to the BBC to have more women on screen, Yentob replied: 'There are more influential, empowered women at the top of the organisation than in any other organisation of its size and influence in Britain.' He forgot to add 'including the cabinet,' though I bet he was itching to do so. So, I'll do it for him. Alan wasn't mincing any words over Bradshaw's support for top slicing the licence fee either. 'He misunderstands the arguments' Yentob believes. 'They are about the integrity of the licence fee and the independence of the BBC.' Yentob was similarly forthright when it came to the issue of expenses claimed by senior BBC managers. Presents of flowers, champagne and chocolates, given by executives to talent, were described as 'small gifts to benefit the organisation' and are not, in his view, 'intemperate.' He is aware however of how such spending looks to other people. 'It doesn’t look good and we're aware of it. After what everybody has been through, there will be a lot less gifts being given.' The interview brought a mixed response from readers of the Standard. 'Good for Yentob,' says one post on the paper's website. 'The BBC is wonderful value for money.' Others are less complimentary, calling Yentob 'arrogant' and out of touch. One contributor suggests that Yentob, who has been with the BBC for more than forty years, should be sacked 'and let him work in Starbucks.' Well, why not - that's probably where Harriet and Ben are going to end up after the next election?The people of Middlesbrough were not unfairly treated by Channel 4 programme Location, Location, Location, which branded the town the worst place to live in the UK, Ofcom has ruled. Middlesbrough's mayor Ray Mallon filed a complaint on behalf of the city about an edition of the property show that drew attention to high levels of crime and ill health.
He claimed Middlesbrough had been unfairly treated and that its council had not been given an opportunity to contribute to the programme. But Ofcom rejected the complaint, arguing that the programme used reliable statistics fairly to back up its claims. In the programme, Location, Location, Location: Best and Worst Live 2007, presenters Kirstie Allsopp and Phil Spencer revealed that Middlesbrough had come bottom of its survey of the best places to live in the UK. Allsopp said Middlesbrough had 'critical health levels, double the English average of drug abuse, eight per cent more smokers than the English average and over a quarter of the inhabitants admitted to binge drinking.' Spencer added: 'Ninety per cent of the residents never exercise and few eat healthily … robbery, burglary, sexual assault, violent crimes and car theft are all more than twice the UK average.' Yeah, that sounds exactly like the 'Boro I know, dunno about anyone else? The programme – broadcast on 17 October 2007 – also included live interviews with Middlesbrough residents who defended their city and mentioned that the council had installed 'the first ever talking CCTV.' Ofcom said it was not unfair for the programme to have included 'details about smoking, drug misuse and physical exercise in the area' and used images of obese people. Nor was it unfair to have used of shots of derelict buildings to illustrate the programme's thesis, the watchdog added. Mallon – who was elected mayor in 2002 after a police career that earned him the nickname 'Robocop' – said his decision to make a formal complaint on Middlesbrough's behalf had been vindicated. Really? How's that, Ray? Explain please, in simple layman terms and using graphs if necessary, how a total rejection of your whiny complaints are, in any way, 'a vindication.' Quite why Ofcom felt the need to investigate this quite spurious and ludicrous complaint in the first place rather than tell a Smoggie drama queen to stop wasting their time is, tragically, unknown. Victim Culture in the Twenty First Century, dear blog reader - everything is someone else's fault it would seem.BBC
newsreader George Alagiah has resigned as a patron of the Fairtrade Foundation over concerns of a potential conflict of interest. Writing in the charity's magazine, he said 'senior colleagues at the BBC' had decided that the unpaid position was 'no longer compatible' with his job. There were concerns that the role 'could undermine my impartiality' when reporting on Fairtrade food, he added. A spokesperson for the charity said: 'We are extremely disappointed.' The spokesperson added that no 'formal explanation' had been given about the decision.The BBC have announced that The ONE Show is set to be extended. After successfully trialling a sixty-minute format of the show in May, the series, which usually runs at thirty minutes, will include an hour-long show every week from September to the end of the year.
The sixty-minute shows will include a raft of new features, celebrating lives, landscapes and stories from all around the UK. BBC1 also announced that The ONE Show's presenters, Christine Bleakley and Adrian Chiles, will be taking what they describe as a 'well-deserved fortnight's holiday' in August. The channel is 'delighted to be welcoming some of the country's most popular presenters to stand in during their absence.' Gloria Hunniford and Gethin Jones take the helm from Monday 17 to Friday 21 August. They will be followed by John Sergeant who will join forces with Myleene Klass, from Monday 24 to Friday 28 August.ABC's Romantically Challenged is reportedly close to receiving a series order.
According to The Hollywood Reporter, the pilot starring Charmed's Alyssa Milano, may be picked up for thirteen episodes. The comedy, which is being considered for midseason, centres on a thirtysomething man who is torn between his girlfriend (Milano) and his needy best friend. ABC recently greenlit four new comedies - Cougar Town, Modern Family, The Middle and Hank - which are due to premiere this Fall.BBC1 has doubled the run for the second series of Jimmy McGovern's daytime drama Moving On. BBC daytime controller Liam Keelan has ordered ten further episodes for spring 2010, following the initial five-part order. The Liverpool-set series will again be written by a combination of new and established writers, who will be mentored by McGovern. The series, which features stand-alone stories linked by a theme of how to move on in life, attracted a record BBC1 daytime audience of 1.6m when it debuted in May. It attracted actors such as Shelia Hancock, Richard Armitage, Lesley Sharp, Mark Womack, Dervla Kerwin and Ian Hart. Colin McKeown, who produces the show through his LA Productions, said: 'The audience feedback for the first series was phenomenal, with huge appreciation for the quality of the drama as part of the BBC daytime schedule. The series represented an opportunity to blend high-profile experienced talent both on and off the screen, with upcoming writers and directors. Any drama series is only as good as its screenplay, and to have Jimmy McGovern as the writers' mentor ensures the highest quality of writing which in turn attracts the highest quality of cast. We believe that series two is going push this quality bar even further.'
Sky1 has commissioned a new series about obese families in Britain, it has been announced.
The six hour-long episodes of Fat Families will see 'fat loss expert' Steve Miller moving into the homes of different families in an attempt to help them lose weight. Sky1's Emma Reid said of the series: 'Steve is a no-nonsense expert who will say 'bollocks' to the endless excuses of our fat families as he transforms the 'fatties' into 'fitties'. Over the years, Steve has heard every excuse in the cookbook, but he will break their bad habits and create a radical regime that will transform their lives forever.' Yet more food fascism for you, dear blog reader. It'll be concentration camps next, mark my words. So, this viewer - fat and proud of it - says 'bollocks' to Steve and his 'no-nonsense expertise' and expressed the sincere hope that the show gets an audience of Steve and Emma alone. Unlikey - they'll probably get their mums to watch too.CBS entertainment president Nina Tassler has revealed that there are changes ahead for CSI. The Hollywood Reporter quotes her as saying that CBS has spent time talking to fans about the future of the show. Oh dear, that's seldom a good sign. 'Nick [Stokes] is going to get promoted. Sara [Sidle] is coming back for the first five episodes. You're going to see Fishburne more settled in his role - a more leadership capacity,' she said. 'He's more versed in the language of CSI, he's had a little bit of a wardrobe makeover. Our research said they wanted to see him more comfortable in his clothes. We think they're going to be happy with what they see.' CBS recently announced that CSI will return for its tenth season on Thursday, September 24.
Darlow Smithson is to revisit the 9/11 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Centre with a feature-length examination of the calls that victims made to their families in their final moments. 9/11: Phone Calls From The Towers [working title] will feature recordings of calls made by people trapped in the towers, many of them previously unbroadcast. It will also include home movies and testimonies from the surviving family members, who reveal how the recordings have helped them come to terms with their loss. The ninety-minute documentary will air on Channel 4 around the eighth anniversary of the attacks this autumn as a Cutting Edge special.
It is directed by James Kent, a documentary and drama director who recently helmed the BBC's Thatcher biopic drama Margaret. The producer is Natalie Burke and the executive producer is Darlow Smithson chief creative director John Smithson. Smithson, who also executive produced the company's earlier documentary 9/11: Falling Man, said: 'This film highlights humanity at its best. The phone calls revealed for the first time in this film don't convey the panic and fear felt by millions, but the love and dignity that they held on to. Darlow Smithson feels proud to have produced a testimony to those whose lives were lost and to bring it to a wide audience.' C4 deputy head of documentaries Simon Dickson, who ordered the film, added: 'The messages are an incredibly moving testament to the memories of the people who died in the Twin Towers and reveal the dignity, courage, humanity and love shown at the worst of times. And the victims’ families, who have co-operated in the making of the film and provided most of the recordings, talk heartbreakingly about speaking to their loved ones for the final time as they watched powerless as the disaster unfolded on TV. The messages are, of course, a double-edged legacy – there is only a recording because someone missed the call, but as a result the families have something concrete to turn to for comfort. They have helped some of the families to move on, while others still find the emotions incredibly raw. And the messages prompt us all to ponder whether, faced with such a terrible situation, we could act with such courage and compassion.'Former Casualty star Martina Laird has landed a role in Channel 4's Shameless, according to a report. The actress, who played paramedic Comfort Jones on the BBC medical drama, is expected to start filming her new role as brothel owner Michelle later this month. Michelle has been tipped to cause chaos on the Chatsworth estate by recruiting its male residents to work as gigolos. It is believed that Jamie Maguire (Aaron McCusker) is the first character to accept her offer, with his brothers and friends later following suit. A source told the Sun: 'Shameless has always been raunchy, but Aaron's scenes are steamy beyond belief. It's going to turn the show on its head.'
Channel 4 is to drop the scrapheap from Scrapheap Challenge in a bid to slash costs on the long-running show.
The series, produced by RDF Television West, has also axed its long-standing presenters Robert Llewellyn and Lisa Rogers, and will replace them with ex-contestant Dick Strawbridge, who subsequently became the show's engineering expert and a presenter on Planet Mechanics, It's Not Easy Being Green, Coast and Geronimo. For the past ten series Scrapheap Challenge has tasked contestants with engineering feats – such as building giant catapults or underwater cars – on the site of a giant, permanent, central head of scrap. However, the eleventh series will alter the format so that contestants build their machines at homes over the course of a month, with four hundred and fifty pounds to pay for scrap which they source themselves from different places.E4 has reportedly commissioned a third series of The Inbetweeners. According to The Guardian, the series - which stars Simon Bird, James Buckley, Joe Thomas and Blake Harrison - will return in 2010. Head of E4 Angela Jain said of the show: '[It has] some of the most beautifully crafted puerile and funny jokes ever seen on British television but also moments of crushing heartbreak, which are all testament to the brilliance of the writing and acting.' Earlier this year, the second series made a strong start in the ratings, drawing almost one million viewers in its opening episode.
Axed Strictly Come Dancing judge Arlene Phillips may snub the BBC's offer of work on The ONE Show, a report has claimed. The sixty six-year-old choreographer was unveiled as the programme's new Strictly expert last month after being dropped from the main show in favour of pop star Alesha Dixon. Phillips had been expected to appear for regular interviews with main hosts Adrian Chiles and Christine Bleakley, offering her insight into the weekly performances. However, a source told the News Of The World: 'Arlene has made no commitment to the BBC. They've been desperate to sign her up to do a Strictly commentary spot on The ONE Show and Breakfast. But she's considering her future and a lot of new TV offers - including ITV shows - that have been flooding in now people know she's back on the market.' The insider added: 'At the time she agreed in principle to do The ONE Show but she hasn't agreed any deal and right now everyone else wants her, too. She's going to have to consider a lot.'
BBC sports editor Mihir Bose has quit the corporation after two-and-a-half years. Bose, who took up the post in January 2007, contributed to news bulletins and the Inside Sport show.
Prior to joining the BBC, he worked at the Daily Telegraph for more than ten years and the Sunday Times for twenty years prior to that, as well as broadcasting on television and radio. Bose, who was born in India before moving to the UK to go to university, started his journalistic career at London radio station LBC. He has also written numerous books, including A History Of Indian Cricket and Sporting Colours which looked at sport and apartheid. A BBC spokeswoman confirmed: 'He has resigned for personal reasons.'John Barrowman has revealed that he is in talks for a role in Desperate Housewives.
The Torchwood actor confirmed yesterday that he will soon jet off to the States for meetings with the ABC show's producers. Speaking on Radio1, he explained: 'I'm off to Los Angeles on Sunday again. I probably shouldn't say this but I've got a meeting with the execs of Desperate Housewives.' Meanwhile, it was announced earlier this week that Jesse Metcalfe will be returning to his role of John Rowland in the new season.Sky Sports1 has escaped a fine from regulator Ofcom over phone vote errors on Soccer AM and Cricket AM.
The first complaint relates to Republic of Ireland viewers who entered the Calypso Cricket competition on 2 August 2008. The texts were charged at twenty five pence plus the standard network rate for viewers in the UK, and thirty five cents plus the standard the network rate for viewers in the ROI. However, due to a technical fault, competition entries submitted by viewers in the ROI had not been registered. Sky admitted that the entries received were not registered by Cricket AM at the time and were therefore not counted. Ofcom further found that during the episodes of Soccer AM broadcast on 13 December 2008 and 3 January 2009, the votes of viewers from the ROI for the Tyne/Wear Dance-Off had not been counted by the software system. Although Sky did not make any financial gain itself, the satellite broadcaster apologised to all the viewers who voted by text and promised them they would receive a refund.Kevin Bishop has claimed that making jokes about Michael Jackson or Jade Goody are 'off limits.' The comic, whose sketch show returned to Channel 4 last week, said that he believed that there should always be some restrictions on the targets of humour.
'I'm not going to do a sketch about Jade Goody, Michael Jackson and Maddie McCann,' he told the BBC. 'Those sort of things aren't really funny. People aren't going to laugh at that, so there are some things that are off limits. We don't want to make people feel sick. I think the secret to making a show that everyone likes is making the person who you're taking the mickey out of laugh as well.' Bishop also insisted that he doesn't deliberately aim to offend with his celebrity parodies, claiming that sketches only make the cut if they are of high quality. 'We have an obligation to ourselves when something is funny and makes us laugh,' he added. 'It's got to go in the show otherwise we're not being true to ourselves.'The Channel 4 News technology correspondant, Benjamin Cohen, broke the news yesterday on his Twitter page that following what he described as a 'grim staff meeting', News at Noon and More4 News had both been cancelled. The latter's anchor, Alex Thomson, also commented with a terse; 'Sad news. We are slump victims like so many others out there.'
One of TV chef Jamie Oliver's subsidiary companies has made an increased profit of £6.8m last year, up eighty two per cent year-on-year, due in part to strong international sales of his television series overseas. The figures, due to be presented to Companies House later this month, will reveal that pre-tax profits at Jamie Oliver Holdings, part of the Jamie Oliver Group, increased from £3,738,450 in 2007 to £6,807,840 in 2008. With Oliver's salary as a director on top, it means his pay for the year was in the region of one million poinds. There are, simply, no words ...
The BBC is to overhaul its local TV and radio services as an alternative to its rejected proposal for on-demand local video news services.
In February, the BBC Trust rejected the executive’s plan for the online video service, ruling that there was inadequate public value generated by the proposal and that the likely public value did not outweigh potential negative market impact. The new proposals are based instead on the BBC's existing linear services, and are designed to improve the quality and depth of news provision in the nations and regions and deliver more effectively the BBC's citizenship and community purposes.And, lastly, we don't often do this but I am occasionally asked exactly what TV shows gets what in the ratings. I thought, therefore, it might be a good idea one in a while to take one week at random for reference purposes. So, here are the official BARB TV ratings for week ending 26th July 2009:-
Most watched programmes of the week
1 - 9.56m - Coronation Street (Mon 20:29, ITV1)
2 - 8.47m - EastEnders (Mon, BBC1)
3 - 7.69m - Top Gear (Sun, BBC2)
4 - 7.59m - New Tricks (Thu, BBC1)
5 - 6.92m - Emmerdale (Thu 20:00, ITV1)
6 - 6.14m - Midsomer Murders (Wed, ITV1)
7 - 5.74m - The Street (Mon, BBC1)
8 - 5.72m - Casualty (Sat, BBC1)
9 - 5.42m - Holby City (Tue, BBC1)
10- 5.23m - Who Do You Think You Are? (Wed, BBC1)
Alternative Chart (BBC2, Channel 4, Five)
1 - 7.69m - Top Gear (Sun, BBC2)
2 - 3.47m - On This Ice (Sun, BBC2)
3 - 3.34m - Coast (Tue, BBC2)
4 - 3.34m - Dragon's Den (Tue, BBC2)
5 - 2.97m - CSI Miami (Tue, Five)
6 - 2.82m - Mock The Week (Thu, BBC2)
7 - 2.72m - University Challenge (Mon, BBC2)
8 - 2.61m - Desperate Romantics (Tue, BBC2)
9 - 2.56m - Rick Stein's Far Eastern Odessey (Thu, BBC2)
10- 2.47m - Big Brother (Tue, C4)
Multichannels
1 - 1.05m - House Season 5 (Sun, Sky 1)
2 - 0.91m - Film: The Pacifier (Sat, BBC3)
3 - 0.91m - Family Guy (Sun, BBC3)
4 - 0.88m - EastEnders (Thu, BBC3)
5 - 0.85m - Come Dine with Me (Sun, More4)
6 - 0.84m - Live at the Apollo (Sat, BBC3)
7 - 0.78m - Underage and Pregnant (Mon, BBC3)
8 - 0.70m - Baby Beauty Queens (Mon, BBC3)
9 - 0.67m - Sir Bobby Robson Trophy Live (Sun, ITV4)
10- 0.66m - Lie To Me Season 1 (Thu, Sky 1)
