Friday, February 05, 2010

Fast Cars Are Very Dangerous ... And So Are Crap Sitcoms

Live Formula 1 racing returns to the BBC next month when the 2010 season kicks off in Bahrain on 12 March. Again the BBC will seek to bring viewers every moment of the action - both off and on the track - with a comprehensive coverage package across TV, radio, online and the red button. 2010 looks set to be one of the most exciting seasons yet with the World Champions from the last two years – Jenson Button and Lewis Hamilton – driving as team-mates for McLaren and F1 legend Michael Schumacher (you know, The Stig ... according to several gullible tabloids) returning to the circuit for Mercedes. Plus, there are new teams, new rules and new venues to add to the mix. The BBC TV presentation team returns with anchor Jake Humphrey joined by Eddie Jordan and David Coulthard as expert pundits. Commentary comes courtesy of Martin Brundle and Jonathan Legard with reporters Lee McKenzie and Ted Kravitz bringing interviews from the pits. Plus the legendary F1 voice The Godlike Genius of Murray Walker is once again part of the team with online blogs and reports at regular intervals during the season.

The critically-reviled BBC2 sitcom The Persuasionists lost half of its - already small - audience last night after an eleventh-hour switch to a late-night slot midway through its six episode run. The sitcom moved from its regular 10pm Wednesday night slot to a post-Newsnight position of 11.20pm, where its fourth episode attracted just one hundred and seventy six thousand viewers. Last week, the show drew three hundred and thirty thousand, down from a peak of six hundred and thirty thousand for the series' second episode. At 10pm this Wednesday, a repeat of Grumpy Old Women replaced The Persuasionists and managed to boost the slot's audience week-on-week by four times, attracting one and a half million viewers. BBC2 is lining up a repeat of Have I Got News For You for the slot next week. A BBC spokesman told the comedy website Chortle: 'By moving The Persuasionists to a later slot it will still be available to the viewers who are really enjoying it, but gives us room to play something more mainstream in the earlier slot.' Or, in other words, 'some idiot commissioned this turkey and they're currently clearing out their desks. And, no, we don't think a second series is likely.' The Persuasionists, is a studio-based conceit, set in an advertising agency, and is produced by Bwark, the independent production company behind E4's comedy hit The Inbetweeners. It had a long development process including two pilots and was originally known as The Scum Also Rises. Red Dwarf star Chris Barrie and comedian Kevin Bishop were originally due to appear but both pulled out prior to filming - perhaps sensing what a disaster it was going to be. Despite Bwark's pedigree, the show - which features Iain Lee and Daisy Haggard - has received a thorough trousers-down hiding from many critics, including yer Keith Telly Topping who considers it almost - but not quite - the worst sitcom the BBC has produced in years. But not the worst, oh no. That would give the series a notoriety it doesn't remotely deserve. Adam Buxton, who also features, had a gentle dig at the critical reception for the show in an online sketch on the BBC's comedy website. All of which can't hide the fact that The Persuasionists is, frankly, diarrhoea.

Mathew Horne and Mark Gatiss have signed up to appear in a new BBC2 drama about Boy George. The ninety-minute one-off show, titled Worried About the Boy, has been written by Hotel Babylon's Tony Basgallop and will be directed by Julian Jarrold, who worked on Red Riding. The drama follows George's rise to fame and will chronicle his life from falling in love for the first time to meeting his Culture Club band mates. Newcomer Douglas Booth will play George, whilst Gavin & Stacey actor Horne has been cast as Culture Club's drummer Jon Moss. Gatiss will portray music industry Svengali Malcolm McLaren in a piece of inspired casting that has yer Keith Telly Topping applauding wildly, dear blog reader. Hustle's Marc Warren will also feature as nightclub pioneer and Visage frontman Steve Strange. Again, I can see that working. 'Worried About the Boy will be an evocative and visually enticing drama about one of our most iconic British pop stars,' said Ben Stephenson. 'With its mix of music, fashion and youth, it rounds off our trio of dramas for BBC2's Eighties season perfectly.' Worried About the Boy will begin filming in Manchester later this month.

Top Gear co-presenter Richard Hammond will examine how the space shuttle works in a third season of his BBC2/National Geographic co-produced series Engineering Connections with Richard Hammond. The six new episodes will investigate a selection of the world's more ambitious engineering feats to enable viewers to understand how their construction was possible. It will broadcast in early 2011. Structures featured in the series are said to include Greece's Rion-Antirion Bridge, the Burj Al Arab and a US space shuttle. An excited Hamster said: 'The series doesn't just give me a VIP pass behind the scenes – we really get to grips with the DNA of these incredible structures, which is what the audience wants. The scientific experiments that we work up to demonstrate the core engineering principles are at the heart of the programme – we try to make them fun, but much more importantly, they do what television does best, which is to show rather than just tell the viewers how something works.'

Saturday 20 February will see David Tennant star in David Hare's new drama for BBC Radio 4, Murder In Samarkand, based on the memoir by Craig Murray. In Hare's play, Craig is a high-flyer in the Foreign and Commonwealth Office who loves his job and is proud to be appointed Ambassador for the first time, to Tashkent. It's before the Iraq war and Uzbekistan is newly in focus as a useful ally to the West in the 'War on Terror.' Craig is a man who, when he works, likes to work really hard, and when he has fun, he likes to really enjoy himself – and he immediately starts to do both. He visits the local British businesses, he finds the girls, the night clubs and the drinking friends. And he discovers he is Ambassador to a dire regime that imprisons dissidents and routinely uses torture on its citizens. He realises the Uzbeks are supplying the Americans with intelligence derived from torture, and he cannot get his head around the fact that UK complicity in this doesn't seem to concern his superiors – though they are shocked by the girls and the night clubs. The consequences for him couldn't be greater.

An Australian banker caught viewing a mildly erotic image in the background of a live TV interview will keep his job his employer, Macquarie Bank, have said. David Kiely became an overnight Internet sensation when the Channel 7 News interview, showing him looking at images of the model Miranda Kerr, was posted on YouTube. A massive Internet campaign was launched to help save his job and Kerr herself also became involved to plead his case. Macquarie said it had 'completed an inquiry' and that Kiely would stay with the company. In a statement it noted: 'Macquarie and the employee apologise for any offence that may have been caused.' Macquarie did not specify any other measures against Kiely, only that 'action had been taken' after talks with him. The incident occurred when Kiely's colleague, Martin Lakos, was discussing interest rates live on Channel 7 on Tuesday just as Kiely, sitting behind Lakos and facing in the opposite direction, opened an e-mail containing a graphic of Kerr. Kiely turned around part-way through, apparently in surprise, fuelling speculation that he had been the victim of a particularly cunning practical joke. There are reports that Kiely, who works for Macquarie Private Wealth in Sydney, was deliberately sent the e-mail and opened it unwittingly, before being told to look round. A global campaign on Kiely's behalf got under way after the YouTube posting, which has had more than one million three hundred thousand hits. Financial website Here Is The City News set up a Save Dave! page and more than a dozen Facebook pages were also set up to support him. 'Whether set up or not, Kiely was really only guilty of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. There but for the grace of God,' the web campaign petition said. Kerr, a twenty six-year-old Victoria's Secret model engaged to Pirates of the Caribbean star Orlando Bloom, gave her backing to Kiely. 'I am told there is a petition to save his job, and of course I would sign it,' she said. The publicity surrounding the incident has also seen a surge of interest in Kerr herself. The number of searches for her name on Google soared by one hundred per cent after the appearance of the clip on YouTube. So, everybody wins, it would seem. Good. Glad that got sorted out to everyone's satisfaction.

Former BBC director general Lord Birt has said that the television industry has 'nothing to fear' from a potential Conservative government. Or, perhaps, only fear itself? We'll find out soon enough, I suppose. Speaking yesterday evening at Royal Television Society event The Tories Are Coming, he said: 'There is no reason to be fearful of the Conservatives. They started the independent sector. I would hope and expect that the BBC will engage. There has always been intense debate about the BBC, and we're coming into the Charter review period. The Conservatives have a good record of thinking about the BBC.' Yes, true. Thinking about castrating it and criticising it every time it doesn't meekly give the Tories a good collective tongue-rimming up the Gary Glitter like the Daily Mail do. But, anyway ... Lord Smith, former secretary of state for culture, media and sport, said he thought a future Conservative government would freeze the licence fee. 'I think their approach will be pragmatic rather than ideological,' he said. Lord Fowler, chair of the Lords Communications Committee, added: 'David Cameron and Jeremy Hunt have a committed approach to the BBC.' On Conservative proposed changes to the BBC Trust, Fowler added: 'It is not personal about Sir Michael Lyons, it is about the structure.' David Mellor said: 'No-one knows if [the BBC Trust] is fish, fowl or red herring. Are they advocates or regulators of the BBC?' Lord Smith noted: 'The Conservatives will have a serious look at the BBC Trust. It’s a half way house.'

Coronation Street actress Helen Worth has revealed that her character, Gail, will play a 'major' part in the soap's forthcoming fiftieth anniversary episodes. Unlucky, three times widowed Gail is about to be seen in a new high-profile storyline stemming from the death of her latest husband, Joe, played by Reece Dinsdale. When Joe disappears during a holiday to the Lake District in next week's episodes, Gail assumes that he has merely gone through with a planned insurance scam and starts to cover for his disappearance in the hope that he will return. However, unbeknown to her, Joe has drowned after being knocked overboard from a boat. Speaking to the Digital Spy website about the long-term impact of the plot, Worth explained: 'The whole aftermath of my storyline is a big part of the anniversary. The one thing I can't believe is the amount of storylines I get. I keep thinking I'm going to be put out to grass and then they get Gail going again! It's all storylines for my screen family, though - they're a strong bunch.' Meanwhile, asked where things are heading for Gail's immediate future, she replied: 'Downhill! I don't know everything yet, but it's becoming pretty clear where it's going. There's a lot more to come! There are so many interesting twists and turns and the way it's all revealed is great.'

EastEnders actor Charlie Hawkins has revealed that he would love to see Ray Winstone join the soap's cast. Yeah, like that's going to happen any time soon. Plank. Hawkins, who plays Walford's Darren Miller, told the Press Association that the Hackney-born actor would be an impressive signing for the show. The eighteen-year-old explained: 'I'd love Ray to come in - he's very well known, he's an iconic British actor and he's obviously from London, but whether Ray would want to and would do it is another thing.' Previous rumours have linked Winstone to the BBC programme, most notably in early 2008 when he was hotly tipped to play the villainous Archie Mitchell, before Larry Lamb was eventually cast in the role. On whether fans can expect to see Winstone in Albert Square, executive producer Diederick Santer said: 'He knows where we are.' So, that'd be a 'no,' then? Winstone recently confirmed that he is actually taking a break from acting and looking forward to spending more time with his family.

Elizabeth Mitchell has speculated over Juliet's return to Lost. The season six premiere saw her character die in Sawyer's arms following the hydrogen bomb explosion, but Mitchell has confirmed that she will return again 'towards the end' of the season. Hurrah. Asked by TV Guide if viewers may see Juliet in the 'alternate world' story, she replied: 'That's my assumption.' Discussing when she will reappear, she added: 'They are in their last bit of shooting, so it will be near the end somewhere, but I don't know where.' Mitchell also addressed that Juliet's cryptic message to Sawyer before she died, in which she simply said, 'It worked' - is a possible reference to the alternate universe. 'How cool was that?! That's exactly what I thought. You know how devious and genius the producers are. It could be anything. We can think we have it completely sewn up and they just turn us on our ears; that's what they do.' The actress also praised her co-star, Josh Holloway, for his work on the series, saying that she would love to work with him again in the future. 'I like Josh so much. We came full circle together in so many ways, so for us, it was just a joy to be together. I enjoy him so much, he has a new baby, he's full of love, laughter and excitement,' she said. 'The playing of it was fun and the hanging out with him was fun. He just plays guitar and we sang and had a good time. I would work with him anywhere.'

John Rhys-Davies has landed a role in Legend of the Seeker, it has been announced. Craig Horner, who stars as Cypher on the Sam Raimi-produced series, told xenite that the Lord Of The Rings actor had recently filmed a guest spot for an upcoming episode. 'He's a really great person,' noted Horner.

Emily Deschanel has told viewers to expect a dramatic change in the central relationship between her character and David Boreanaz's on Bones. The actress plays the title role in the FOX show, opposite Boreanaz's Seeley Booth. Deschanel told Parade magazine of their on-screen relationship: 'It seems to me that Brennan doesn't want a child unless it's Booth's child, so we'll see where it goes. I do want to see them get together and their relationship is going to change dramatically at the end of this season. The two of them have had this chemistry together. But, the physical side of it has evolved very gradually. I think that's been a great way to explore a relationship.' She added on the subject of her own character: '[I love] how flawed Brennan is and yet, how strong and intelligent. I think it is wonderful to have a character who has this great strength along with a bunch of idiosyncrasies that provide some humour to balance the grimness of her job. And she doesn't pretend to be modest. I think it's endearing that she calls herself a genius all the time.'

English Premier League clubs stand to receive a one billion pound windfall from a new worldwide TV rights agreement, it has been confirmed. The current deal for international broadcasters to televise games from the league stands at six hundred and forty five million pounds. However, a new three-year agreement currently being negotiated by Premier League chief executive Richard Scudamore is expected to be worth significantly more. According to the Sun, Scudamore is still negotiating parts of the deal - with key markets in China and Russia yet to be finalised - but he is confident that the resulting agreement will surpass a billion pounds. If finalised, the recession-defying deal would bring fifty million in revenue to each of the twenty clubs in the league, but will be paid in staggered instalments. Domestic rights agreements with Sky, ESPN and the BBC already bring one million eight hundred thousand pounds to the Premier League, helping make it the richest in the world. And, have helped to completely ruin football over the last twenty years. So, this is obviously great news. Still, it did come on the day that Keith Telly Topping's beloved (and, still, seemingly unsellable) Magpies gave Cardiff City a right good shellacking to remain top of the Championship so he wasn't complaining too much.

Channel 4 has failed to secure a gagging order, preventing media reporting of a libel case over the alleged faking of a documentary depicting members of the Jackson family moving to Devon. The broadcaster had hoped to block all media coverage of part of the multi-million pound legal case - brought against it by Michael Jackson's former bodyguard, Matt Fiddes. In its submission, Channel 4 stated that the move was not designed as a gag on the press, but rather related to concerns that media reporting could unduly influence the High Court jury. However, Fiddes' legal representative, David Sherborne, successfully argued that the move would set 'a very dangerous precedent' if it were to be approved, reports the Guardian. 'I have to say, that the application is a unique one in my experience ... because it involves a media organisation seeking a ban on reporting of proceedings rather than the other way around,' Sherborne said at the hearing last Thursday. Fiddes, who previously acted as Jackson's bodyguard on several UK visits, agreed to participate in the documentary, titled The Jacksons Are Coming, as it followed members of the famous family relocating to Devon. However, the thirty-year-old martial arts expert said that the Cutting Edge programme, aired on 27 November 2008, featured elements that were wholly fabricated. Fiddes added that he and Tito Jackson, Michael's older brother, used the supposed relocation of the family to the village of Appledore, near Bideford, as a publicity stunt to boost Tito's profile in the UK. He then agreed a twenty thousand pound deal with the production firm, Studio Lambert, for coverage of the move, in which he would act as the Jackson's personal guide. Fiddes also alleges that the programme wrongly portrayed him as betraying Tito by tipping off the press in advance about the visit. In legal papers submitted to the court, Fiddes claimed that Channel 4, Studio Lambert and Jane Preston, who made the documentary, deliberately fabricated the footage of this. He particularly pointed to the 'use of an insidious narration so as to create or lend further credibility to the false premise upon which the programme was based, namely that the claimant had leaked stories about the Jacksons' trip despite knowing that they wished to avoid any publicity.' Channel 4 denies any wrongdoing in the case and also refutes any suggestions that it attempted to gag the media by applying for a restriction on reporting. In an official statement, the broadcaster said: 'The temporary order sought was limited to the reporting of the hearing only because of concerns that previous inflammatory reporting would prejudice the fair hearing of the jury trial which has been set down for June. Channel 4 and its producers fully support the principle of open justice and welcome the fair and accurate reporting of these proceedings ... and are confident that they can and will demonstrate the honesty and truthfulness of this documentary at trial.'

Deal Or No Deal host, The Beard of Despair Noel Edmonds has been tipped to resist pressure from Channel 4 to accept a significant pay cut. According to the Sun, executives at the station want Edmonds to sign a less lucrative contract which would see him continuing with the game show for another two years but at a reduced salary. The presenter's current deal will reportedly expire later this year. It has been implied that under the new arrangement which has been offered, Edmonds would be paid less and be required to make more programmes in less time than at present. However, a source close to Edmonds told the newspaper that the presenter is keen to keep his current salary, despite Channel 4's desire to cut costs. The 'friend' said: 'Deal or No Deal is one of the channel's best performing shows so Noel should not have to take less. But he's happy to make more shows a day as that frees up his time.' Well, that's big of him isn't it, dear blog reader?

Channel 4's Indian Winter season of programmes has divided viewers, with almost complaints over the broadcaster's decision to dispatch Gordon Ramsay and Kevin McCloud to report on the country. Gordon's Great Escape, in which the celebrity chef travelled to India for the first time to learn about the country's cuisine, was the second-most complained about show last month, with one hundfed and sixty two viewers contacting Channel 4. Their complaints centred on Ramsay's language and brusqueness in speaking with the 'mild-mannered' and 'gentle' people that he met, in the words of one complainant. Another thirty viewers took issue with what one person perceived as McCloud's 'complete lack of understanding, manners, sensitivity and tact' in his series Kevin McCloud: Slumming It. The season as a whole received twenty further complaints for focusing on slums rather than India's wider culture and heritage. However, twenty one viewers also contacted to Channel 4 to praise McCloud's series and another fourteen stated that they had enjoyed Ramsay's programme. The broadcaster's monthly round-up of 'rated and slated' shows also contains twenty messages of support for the season as a whole and a further seven for the one-off special Slumdog Secret Millionaire. Celebrity Big Brother - not unexpectedly - drew one hundred and sixteen messages of praise and four hundred and forty of complaint. Channel 4 chose to illustrate the criticism with a message from a fan who questioned the decision to give the housemates a task that turned the house into an old people's home. The next most popular show was How to Look Good Naked … With A Difference, in which the stylist Gok Wan helped people with disabilities to feel better about their self-image. It received thirty four messages of support, though another nineteen took issue with the programme for isolating the issue instead of featuring people with disabilities in its regular format. And one complaint from a Mr K Telly-Topping (of Newcastle) who considered the entire enterprise to be 'a right load of old effing toot.' The channel's single drama Mo, which starred Julie Walters as the late Mo Mowlam, was also popular with twenty three messages of praise and support.

The BBC has been accused of 'promoting euthanasia' by a cross-party group of MPs who also called on ministers to 'threaten to cut off the supply of public money to the broadcaster.' Oh, yes - they just love threatening the BBC like a bunch of overgrown school bullies, do MPs. You might've noticed, they're very good at it. A Commons motion said the Corporation 'misused public funds' in its coverage of the issue, highlighting the high profile given to the author Sir Terry Pratchett's speech this week in favour of assisted suicide. The motion claimed the BBC 'ignored the rights of the disabled' and had used drama as well as news to promote its pro-euthanasia stance. Tory Ann Winterton has the support of two other Tory members (Winterton's husband, Nicholas and Andrew Selous) and five Labour MPs (Geraldine Smith, Jim Dobbin, Lindsay Hoyle, David Causby and Brian Jenkins), for her early day motion. They claim there had been 'numerous complaints' over the 'persistent bias of the BBC on matters relating to euthanasia and other life issues and on the manner in which the BBC have misused public funds to promote changes in the law.' The MPs complain of 'thinly-disguised plays and soap-operas being used to promote the use of euthanasia and misrepresentation of pro-life activists in the UK as people of violence.' The widely-respected fantasy novelist Pratchett, who suffers from a rare form of Early-Onset Alzheimer's Disease, gave the annual Richard Dimbleby Lecture and called for a tribunal to give seriously ill people permission to get help to die. The MPs said that 'as usual the BBC have ignored the rights of the disabled, despite the fact that every disability group in the UK is opposed to the legalisation of assisted suicide and euthanasia.' This list, meanwhile details the thoroughly sour and rotten doings of numerous Members of Parliament - including three of the sponsors of this particular motion - and how much they attempted to screw out of British taxpayers like you and me with what have been proved to be scandelously excessive - and, in some cases, entirely mendacious - expenses claims. One would, perhaps, have thought that this week of all weeks we'd have heard a damn sight less out of any Honorable Member - sleezy or otherwise - on a whole raft of subjects. This one included. Sadly, like many people in the TV industry, it would appear that MPs just love the sound of their own voice. Readers of this blog may also like to note the names of Frank Field, Ann Clywd, Patrick Mercer, Don Foster and Nigel Evans are all present on this list and to refer back to previous From The North coverage of some of their numbskull comments on a variety of broadcasting matters that have absolutely nowt to do with them. Try putting your own house in order, Members, before you criticise others. A BBC spokesman said it was a coincidence that the Panorama programme was transmitted on the same evening as the Dimbleby Lecture. He said: 'Panorama included an opinion poll showing that the public was evenly split on the issue of assisted suicide in cases like that of Lynn Gilderdale - and featured the views of Baroness Campbell who is against any move towards legalisation. The Richard Dimbleby Lecture is an annual event that has covered a range of topics over time. It is perfectly legitimate for the BBC and other news outlets to report the content of the speech - and the wide range of reactions to it.' As this, humble, blogger has noted on previous occassions, ladies and gentlemen of the blog, some people would appear to be, quite simply, scum.

The ex-mayor of a Lancashire village who got 'sexual kicks' from breaking into women's homes and stealing their underwear has been jailed for two years. Ian Stafford, who admitted three counts of burglary, resigned from his post in Preesall after his arrest last year. Preston Crown Court heard how he would creep into women's bedrooms and search drawers for the underwear, before carrying out a sex act. I'm presuming he did it quietly. He was apprehended after one victim set up a hidden camera, catching him in the act.

TV presenter Kate Thornton has revealed that she accidentally flashed the bottom half of her body at a delivery man. The former X Factor host, thirty six, said that her son played a prank on her and pulled down her clothing when she answered the door. 'I was wearing pyjama bottoms with nothing underneath,' she told the Sun. 'I went to the door and as I was taking the mobile my son came up behind me and pulled them right down.' She added: 'The guy went, "It's all right, it's all right, I didn't see anything" - but he did.' It is not reported by the newspaper whether Kate at that point opened a can of whup-ass on her son for being such a rude little boy. Or, indeed, whether she opened a can of whup-ass on the delivery man for being such lying toerag.

Peter Andre's manager, Claire Powell, is reported to be 'furious' over Kay Burley's controversial interview with the singer this week. According to the Mirror, Powell phoned the Sky News anchorwoman to reprimand her on Wednesday after Andre broke down in tear on Burley's Afternoon Live programme following questions about his children. A source told the newspaper: 'Claire felt it was a blatant hatchet job. She kept saying, "How can you do that? Peter's a great dad."' Andre became emotional during the live interview after the conversation turned to his ex-wife, Katie Price. The singer was shown footage of ex-footballer Dwight Yorke, who fathered Price's first son Harvey, complaining about Andre's relationship with the child.

John Terry has today lost his position as captain of the England football team. An official statement from the Football Association confirmed the decision after the defender had a twelve-minute meeting with the England manager, Fabio Capello, at Wembley. Capello said: 'After much thought, I have made the decision that it will be best for me to take the captaincy away from John Terry. As a captain with the team, John Terry has displayed extremely positive behaviour. However, I have to take into account other considerations and what is best for all of the England squad.' He added: 'What is best for all of the England team has inspired my choice. John Terry was notified first. When I chose John Terry as captain, I also selected a vice-captain and also named a third choice. There is no reason to change this decision. I would like to take this opportunity to thank The FA, particularly Lord David Triesman and Ian Watmore for allowing me to make this decision in my own time and in the best interest of the team.' There had been calls to remove the captaincy from Terry following allegations that he had cheated on his wife with the ex-partner of fellow England player and former Chelsea teammate Wayne Bridge. Although what any of that has to do with his ability to kick a ball is, frankly, somewhat lost in translation.

Cheryl Cole has reportedly started to use snake venom on her face to keep away unsightly wrinkles. She gets it from her husband, apparently.

Wor canny AC/DC frontman Brian Johnson has criticised Mr Bonio out of U2 for constantly discussing his charity work during concerts. Johnson declared that he is against rock stars using gigs as a soapbox for their altruism. 'When I was a working man I didn't want to go to a concert for some bastard to talk down to me that I should be thinking of some kid in Africa,' he told Melbourne's Herald Sun. 'I'm sorry mate, do it yourself, spend some of your own money and get it done. It just makes me angry. I become all tyrannical.' And, Mr Bonio, trust me, y'divvent wanna see a righteous Geordie bloke gettin' aal tyrannical, like. Johnson then turned his attention to Saint Bob of Geldof's Live Aid concert, saying: 'Do a charity gig, fair enough, but not on worldwide television.' The sixty two-year-old rocker added that he personally chooses to donate his time and money to worthy causes without feeling the need to inform others of his generosity. 'I do it myself, I don't tell everybody I'm doing it,' Johnson explained. 'I don't tell everybody they should give money - they can't afford it.'